Regardless of how amicable, nice, funny, mindful, considerate or generous you are in this life, you are eventually going to come against someone that you just don't like. It may be someone that you're related to, or someone that you work with or someone that has come into your life because they are associated with another person that you know, and you are not going to like this person. They are going to grind your gears and irritate you, they are going to annoy you and because they now exist in your life, you may not always have the choice to avoid them. And this is where you need to employ your best diplomacy and intelligence, and just get along. 
Easier said than done though right? It is pretty hard to get along with someone that really ruffles your feathers and generally gives you the shits, but there are ways to get along, even in the face of great adversity. 
The first thing that you need to accept is that you are not going to like everyone, and also not everyone is  going to like you and that's totally OK. So OK in fact, that's it's practically perfect. Yep, that's right I said practically perfect. We all know that we do our best growing during our darkest times, so the people that we butt up against actually force us to grow in ways that we may not even recognise at the time. I have learnt more about myself through the people that I haven't liked than the ones that I have adored, and that is a fact. I may not want to go and have a BBQ with the people that I don't like, but I can recognise that these annoying individuals are triggering a very real and unpleasant reaction in me, which probably needs further investigation. 
Sometimes the people that annoy me the most are really just people that have very different ideas, points of view or social boundaries to me, which means that we could never really be great friends anyway, but that doesn't mean that I need to treat them like crap, that would be stupid and illogical. Tolerating people that you really don't like very much is a skill that intelligent people have mastered, and I have found in the past  that unintelligent people usually create their own dramas and demise anyway, so there is no need to engage anyone that annoys you any more than is absolutely necessary. 
When dealing with people that you don't like, you absolutely must have a terrific poker face, a really good and convincing one. A face that you can wear over the top of gritted teeth or clenched fists that makes you appear to be calm, open and diplomatic. This is you having self control over your emotions, not stooping to anyone elses levels of behaviour or adopting anyone else's body language; in short you appear to be neutral and in control of yourself. Adopting a good poker face and calm exterior will allow you to gain the upper hand over people that you don't like every time. And if they don't like you, well at least they won't be able to say that you treated them poorly at any point in your exchanges. Mastering your emotional reactions will help you to manage difficult or unpleasant people, even if you only appear that way on the surface, it's always worth doing. 
Sometimes the people that I find most annoying turn out to be people that I have just expected too much from. Just because you have yourself in check, that doesn't mean other people have as well. Expecting people to do as you do, or behave as you behave is just asking for trouble and will only lead to frustration and disappointment. Next time someone gets up your nose, check in and see what it is that you are expecting from them, odds are that it's more than they have the ability to deliver, so adjust your expectations and you'll find that you may not dislike the person as much as you thought that you did. 
And when all else fails and you just cannot stand someone that you have to deal with regularly, then just take a deep breathe, give yourself some space from them as much as you can and take some time to address what it is about that person that is triggering you off so much. Is it an isolated comment? An ongoing action? A lifestyle choice? Or is it just the way that they make you feel? Have you yourself contributed to the bad blood that you have with this person? Is it fixable? Whatever the reason, really analyse whether this person is worth all of the anxiety, stress and energy that you are giving to them. If you think that they are, then you need to take steps to clear the air and move forward in your relationship with them, if you think that they're irrelevant, then just keep that poker face going and get on with things. And always remember that you do not have to get along with everyone and that it's totally OK to find some people as annoying as hell. 

I was getting ready for work the other day and a song from The Lost Boys soundtrack popped up on one of my Spotify playlists, and wow....what a blast from the past! I was instantly transported back to the 1980's, a time when I was an impressionable teenager who was coming of age and was easily obsessed with things of a pop culture nature (not much has changed there). And it was with a smile that I fondly reminisced the things that I had obsessed over at that time in my life. 
The Lost Boys movie was definitely one of those obsessions for me, I loved that film and had Lost Boys posters on the inside my wardrobe because I wasn't allowed to hang pictures up on my bedroom wall. I thought that it was the coolest movie that I had ever seen, probably because it was packed to the rafters with smoking hot teen boys, but I think that I also loved it because all of the characters in the movie seemed to have so many exciting things going on in their lives, and at that time in my life I didn't have a lot going at all, just an intense teenage yearning and a burning curiosity. 
'80's movies will always hold a very special place in my heart, because I was completely obsessed with them as a teenager. Horror, sci-fi, comedy and adventure movies were my favourite genres and I filled many of my bored teenage days with films that I devoutly watched over and over again on the VCR all by myself in the mostly unused and very cold 2nd lounge room of our house. It was there, huddled under a blanket that I spent many wintery weekends, watching and rewatching my favourite movies obsessively. I was almost able to recite some of those films line for line, and I know that that sounds really dorky, but you have to remember that this was a time before the internet and if you weren't running with the cool kids (which I wasn't) there wasn't exactly a lot to do with your time. Besides, a VCR was actually a pretty cool thing to have back then and having access to your own library of tapes was even better!
I was part of the MTV generation, so watching movies was a way to connect with my teenage awkwardness and also a way to vicariously generate some self discovery through the experiences of other teens on screen. It was clearly a time in my life that solidified my movie obsession and also started a genuine thirst within me for more cinematic experiences that would allow me to vicariously see the world through other people's eyes. However, no matter how many movies I watch in my life, I will always and forever have the softest spot for a good '80's teen flick.
Here is a list of my favourite teen movies (in no particular order) that I have seen way too many times for my own good, and even though some of them are not even 3 chilli peppers worthy of being on my genre lists, I cannot deny that I still have a soft spot for the nostalgia that they ignite in me whenever I watch them. 

• The Breakfast Club
• Sixteen Candles
• Ferris Bueller's Day Off
• Weird Science
• Better Off Dead
• Back to the Future
• The Goonies 
• One Crazy Summer
• Fright Night
• Stand by Me

and of course....The Lost Boys.

Today was National Superhero Day, a day that was actually created by Marvel Comics employees in 1995 to observe and honour superheroes around the world, both real and fictional. It seemed only fitting that in order to celebrate the event that I should go and see the much anticipated Avengers: Endgame movie at the cinema. However, to be fair I probably would've gone to see it this weekend anyway. With over three hours of enthralling, entertaining and emotionally heart wrenching viewing, I managed to spend my entire Sunday afternoon immersed in the world of superheroes, which was no only very fitting but also intensely enjoyable for a geek like me. 
Ever since Christopher Nolan picked up the script for Batman and booted up The Dark Knight trilogy, the world of cinematic superheroes has gone into overdrive, with Marvel, DC and Dark Horse Comics grinding out a multitude of superhero movies that are just as enjoyable for adults as they are for younger generations. Everyone has a favourite superhero, and seeing your favourite immortalized on the big screen is a something that seems to dazzle audiences of all ages, and provides a level of immersion and escapism that most people will line up for hours to experience. 
Today the cinema was absolutely packed to rafters, and even though the movie had opened days ago, the tickets were sold out well in advance and the lines to be seated streamed out into the street. I saw entire families (dads, mums and their children of various ages) all eagerly chatting about their favourite superhero experiences so far as they excitedly anticipated the outcome of the movie. I saw little kids dressed up as Spiderman and Ironman riding high on the shoulders of their fathers that looked just as happy to be there as their children. I heard middle aged women praising the female archetypes in superheroes movies of recent years, commenting on how great they were as role models for their daughters. And I heard the audience clap, cheer, moan in disbelief and even gently sob in the dark over their favourite superheroes as the film transpired. And what I learned from all of this is that the world loves superheroes. They just bloody love them entirely. 
They love them when they win, but they also love them when they fail because their failings make them more human and accessible. They love the idea of their superhero getting up, over and over and over again, regardless of how high the chips may be stacked against them, because it gives them hope to rise up against the odds themselves in real life scenarios. They love the spirit of a superhero because is it enduring and noble and we all admire those qualities and look up to them, no matter how old we are or who we are.
And we all have our favourite superheroes. We choose our favourites based on their abilities, their skill set and maybe we even choose who our favourites are based on who we aspire to be more like, or who may have shared a similar life experience to our own. Whatever the reason, it is clear to me that people love superheroes and they love to go and see them on the big screen. I know I do, I was seriously looking forward to seeing the final Avengers instalment today, and what can I say? Well, it certainly did not disappoint that's for sure! 

With the minds of many Australians firmly fixed on ANZAC day, it is inevitable that the concepts of heroism and noble efforts on the battlefields will be raised and passed around during this time of remembrance. Most adult Australians and New Zealanders would all understand the concept of The Anzac Spirit because it's pretty much a "national character" concept that was formed by a shared understanding that the tough-as-nails soldiers that fought on the battlefields of World War 1 were exemplary and uniting. Those qualities, although varied, are generally believed to be the traits of endurance, courage, ingenuity, good humour and larrikinism. With these qualities at their disposal, the ANZACs were able to demonstrate mateship and resilience under intensely difficult circumstances, making them nothing short of heroic.
​I cannot help but wonder whether the idea of a war hero is a bit lost on this generation of young people. I mean how well do they even understand the meaning of true heroism? And can they relate to an old ideal of what it means to be a real hero?
There is no doubt about it, a good hero or role model can appear to be hard to find these days. Gone are the days of soldiers proudly marching down the street after a hard won battle or an armour clad hero riding into town on the back of a noble steed triumphantly holding a defeated beasts severed head aloft, that is the stuff of history and fairytales, but that doesn't mean that the days of the hero are done for good. On the contrary, finding real life modern heroes is not nearly as hard as you may think it is, you just need to know what a real life hero actually is. 
If you ask any child to name one of their heroes, they will probably tell you the name of a Marvel or DC superhero that they love, and although they are citing a fictional character as their reference, they are not wrong about the qualities that they are recognising. Even children know that to be a real hero you need to possess certain characteristics. You need to be selfless, genuinely good and kind, courageous, willing to sacrifice for the greater good and willing to act out against oppression and injustice. Basically, you need to be able save the day and put things right, which is most definitely in line with our understanding of an ANZAC war hero, so our ideas about the qualities required to make a hero haven't really changed that much at all, however our ability to recognise them in real life certainly has. 
Long ago heroes had to be strong, stoic and more often than not male as well, but we are a lot more educated now and although we may not have parades in the streets and golden accolades for every heroic deed that is done, we do have a better understanding that people have the ability to be heroic every day if they attend to the basic virtues of being a hero. In fact, you don't really need to look that far to find the most amazing heroes that are flying under the radar all of the time.
You see, what it means to be a 'modern day hero' is to not only have all of those heroic traits that I mentioned earlier, but to possess them without any ego attached to them at all. Real modern heroes are doing brave and noble things not because it makes them look good or gains attention, they do them because they know that  that is what people in an evolved society do. They look out for each other, they save each other and they care about  what happens to their fellow humans, the animals and the planet. And they don't do it for the applause or the recognition, they do it because it is right and just.
Today we can find modern heroes in every walk of life. They are not just in army tanks, fire trucks, rescue helicopters and police squads; we know that they are also in hospitals, science labs, classrooms, supermarkets, standing at the bus stop, picking up their kids from school or even cleaning out your downpipes. You don't need a cape, a mask, a statue, a medal or a standing ovation to be a hero, you just need to have the right mindset and the right ethics.
Think about Frodo Baggins, a simple Hobbit from the Shire. He certainly wasn't the biggest, smartest, funniest or fastest creature in Middle Earth, but he was the hero that saved everyone from the rising and impending doom that was going to destroy everything. And how did he do it? Not with force or strength or by slaying everything that came into his path, no he did it with endurance, kindness and courage, the qualities of a true hero. 
The strength to step outside of a comfort zone, put others first and be relentless in the pursuit of justice is what makes someone a hero, which means that everyone has the potential to be a hero. EVERYONE. Anyone that has the minerals to save the day, no matter who they are or where they have come from, is a hero. And sure there will be war heroes, sports heroes and epic heroes to raise the banners for, but  let's not forget the everyday heroes that make the world a pretty amazing place to be. And let's doggedly talk more to our children about the virtues of  real life heroism and the selflessness that is required to fulfill that role, let's empower a generation of everyday heroes that are willing to be kind, courageous and just even when no-one is applauding their efforts or declaring them so!
​I think that the Foo Fighters said it best in their song My Hero -
There goes my hero
Watch him as he goes
There goes my hero
He's ordinary

I have been truly blessed in this lifetime to have some of the most wonderful people imaginable in my life. My children, my partner, my family, my friends - I have really drawn the ace card when it comes to good people; and everyday of my life is better for knowing these people. During my final week of autumn vacation I was fortuitous enough to share some of my time with people that I love, appreciate, respect and adore most of all in this world, and nothing can make you feel more wealthy and fortunate than having incredible people in your life can. I have shared delightful breakfasts with dear friends, had delicious cake and coffee with quiet confidants, chatted and giggled on the phone for hours with family members that are too far away, and shared sumptuous long lunches with my closest family members. 
I even managed to squeeze in a trip to Queenscliff with some friends during the week. We hired motorized scooters and rode them along the Bellarine Rail Trail in the late afternoon, arriving at a coastal winery called Basil's Farm just as the sun was setting. We enjoyed some good wine, nibbles and even better company in the still of the early evening as we sat by the bay watching the sky change from blue to pink to purple. We happily took a few choice bottles of wine back to our accomodation to share and had a lovely evening of drinking and chatting. It was really nice to get away and enjoy some good company, a little salty air and a change of pace for a while. 
Easter was an extremely busy affair, with Craig's birthday tossed into the middle for good measure. Thank goodness Zoe came down from Geelong for a few days to help me manage all of the cooking and running around that is required to host an Easter feast for a dozen people. In the end, it all went off without a hitch and everyone left with full hearts and even fuller bellies. Now I have a fridge that is overstocked with leftovers, which means that I can take a load off for a couple of days as we work through our stockpile of food provisions, so the whole event was a win-win for me overall. 
Seriously though, I really cannot imagine what my life would be like without all of the wonderful people that I get to share it with, these people support me, raise me up and offer me refuge when I need it most of all. The people that you surround yourself with do give your life meaning and do make it more profound, enjoyable and abundant by just being present. There are a million things in this life that you can be successful at, and a billion more material things that you can collect or earn, but there will never be a greater or more meaningful thing to gather into your life than the love, respect and quality time that you get to share with your good friends and family; it is absolutely priceless.
When you really sit back and take stock of how many incredible people you have in your life, you very quickly realise how blessed you truly are and how much meaning your life truly has. It isn't what we have that makes our lives meaningful, it is who we have in it that makes it more meaningful, so surround yourself with the most wonderful people that you can and get the best out of your life every day, because you deserve to. 

I have just reached the halfway point of my Autumn holiday break; the time has gone so fast and man oh man, I have been so damn productive! I'm actually pretty chuffed about how much I have managed to get done and genuinely pleased with my consistent efforts to use my time wisely. I've been ticking boxes like a boss, catching up on all of my 'to do' tasks and generally taking care of business in a way that I can't usually manage when I am working and it's been bloody amazing!
In the last 7 days I have serviced my car, been to the dentist, seen the doctor, had a stay in hospital to get something corrected that I've put off for way too long, caught up with my parents, hung out with my kids, had my eyebrows done and my hair trimmed, celebrated a friends birthday, gone to the movies (twice actually), checked out the Picasso collection at the Ballarat Fine Art Gallery, completed an online PD module, finally put all of my New Zealand holiday photos into an album, planned my Easter Sunday gathering and even spent some time drawing and painting. Phew!
Next week I have another art gallery visit, a few blood tests, a catch up with some friends, an overnight trip to Queenscliff, Craig's birthday and also Easter to wrangle; basically a walk in the park after last week's mammoth effort. I am hoping that there will be some room for at least one more decent sleep in before it all comes to an end!
I'm also quite proud of the fact that even though my usual routine has been totally thrown out of the window, I've not compromised on my daily yoga practises, walks, meditation, reading, podcast listening, TV binging or movie watching over the holiday period. I have read almost three books in 10 days and faithfully watched at least one film a day since I went on holidays over a week ago. For some unknown reason a large majority of those films have unintentionally been horror movies, but as a huge horror fan this has presented me with some surprisingly enjoyable viewings.
When it comes to TV, like 95% of the rest of the world, I am most excited about Game of Thrones returning tomorrow to kick off the final and most anticipated TV episodes of all time; which I fully intend to faithfully glue myself to the couch for every Monday evening, for the duration. I can't recall a time when I was so looking forward to a TV show returning before, and I suppose that's because we really don't have to wait for programs to come out that often anymore.
G.O.T. has been an 8 season, 9 year viewing commitment, which is rare even for an avid viewer like myself. The last show that I faithfully watched without missing an episode for 9 entire seasons was Seinfeld which ended in 1998, so yeah, it's been a while since I've been this committed to a TV show. Apparently if you watch the first 7 seasons of G.O.T. all up, it would take two days, 15 hours and 30 minutes, which is how much of my life I have given to the show so far, and clearly I am willing to offer even more! Even though I often tire of a lot of long winded TV series, G.O.T. hasn't worn me out yet, so bring it on I say! I am ready for all of the scandal, dragons,  and visceral goings on that Season 8 can deliver, and if any of the other seasons are something to go on, there is definitely going to be some surprises in store!

When you have a couple of crappy things happen to you in row, it can be really easy to get totally gung-ho with the 'poor me' routine and lose sight of what is really going on. Over the last week it has been one of those weeks in our household, one of those opposite to a Midas touch kind of weeks, where everything that you do, even if you set out to do it with really grand and noble intentions, it turns out to be shit show.
We all know what it feels like, we have all been there and people even say that these things come in threes to try and limit the amount of crap that can arrive in their lives at one time. However, things do not come in threes, they come any damn way that they want to, because the universe is totally random and unpredictable, which means that sometimes they come in tens and or even twenties. However, sometimes these things that we perceive to be obstacles or setbacks or problems are actually just signposts of change or opportunities to grow, but it's so bloody hard to see it that way when you're in the thick of it all.  
The first thing that you need to do in these situations is to define what really constitutes as a disaster. To some people a flat tyre is a disaster, to others it is merely an inconvenience and then to  others is it a chance to take a walk and smell the flowers. For me a flat tyre is somewhere in the middle, hardly a disaster, but not exactly a delight either. Unfortunately, most people fall into the disaster zone pretty quickly, and it is something that I am attempting to try and engage in less and less often. 
For example, my car needs repairs and I need to go to hospital to have something corrected that is making me uncomfortable.  Neither of these is a disaster, firstly I can pay for the repairs and medical bills and secondly I have a car and can get the medical treatment that I require immediately. That's a lot more than millions of other people in the world have, so first world squabbling about something manageable is pointless and stupid. Is it inconvenient? Sure, but so what? There's no point whining about it, let's just get it done and move on. 
And pretty much all of my stuff has been inconvenient, but that's all, just inconvenient. Some of it has been my own fault actually, like the speeding ticket that I got last Friday night. I got that ticket because I was speeding, no-one told me to speed or made me speed and I didn't even need to rush to where I was going to, so that was clearly a signpost for me to slow the fuck down! I know that I am lead foot at times, and there is nothing more humbling than a hefty bill to make you ease off the accelerator. And I was going way too fast, I could have caused an accident or pranged my car, and then I would've had a disaster to contend with!
So I think that when these things do happen you need to step back and have a really good look at what is actually occuring. Ask yourself, how much of this has been created by your own choices? How much is just necessary maintenance on an abundant lifestyle? And will you even care about this in 6 weeks time? Once you've answered those questions then you can analyse your real depth of disaster or lack thereof, because most of the time everything is really pretty amazing and we do need to be grateful for those moments and not let the small inconveniences distract us from that fact. 

John Lennon once said:
It's easier to shout 'Revolution' or 'Power to the People' than it is to look at yourself and try and find out what's real and what isn't, when you try pull the wool over your own eyes and your own hypocrisy. 
I have been really investigating my own essence a lot lately, which sounds bloody kinky I know, but I assure you that it isn't. By essence I mean, who I am at the root of it all. Who I am when no-one is around, who I am when I don't have to be a certain way or fill a certain role, who I actually am when everything is stripped back to the basics. Just me, without my belongings, my friends, my family, my external pretenses, just me and only me, me alone. And it has been one of the strangest and most interesting ponderings that I have engaged in, and it has really made me address my own ethics, values and personal goals. 
Lying to ourselves is so easy, we do it all the time. We create excuses, manufacture obligations, revel in distraction and allow ourselves to engage in the drama of others; all so that we can lie to ourselves, hide from our fears and avoid our true nature. Generally speaking, addressing ourselves face on is a pretty scary prospect, but it is inevitable that at some point in everyone's life that they will have to address themselves and consider their place in this world, whether they want to or not. 
And honestly, everyone probably should. A life spent without any contemplation, reflection or introspection sounds like a pretty crummy life to me, and a rather underdeveloped one as well. If you don't stop to self assess and have a look at yourself once and awhile, well sorry but, you might just be an asshole. Anyone that travels through their entire life without ever pondering themselves, stepping back from their everyday existence and questioning their own motives doesn't sound like someone that I would like to spend time with. 
Anyone who is interested in learning the whole truth about themselves (which the Buddhists call dharma) is a warrior, because facing who you really are at the core of your being takes guts and bravery. Unless you are the enlightened one him or herself, then you are probably going to come up against some shit that you don't necessarily like about yourself. It could be stuff that was programmed into you from an early age, it could be something that you'd said or done that was unkind, it could be a belief about something or someone that you have allowed to cloud your better judgement or could be a habit or opinion that you have formed that no longer serves who you are.
You may feel guilty, bad, ashamed or even terrible about yourself when you start to explore and look at yourself deeper, and you may not like what you find, and that's okay too because it is signpost that you know a better way of being and that you have the power to change your direction. The important thing to do with those feelings is not to linger on them, but to use them to arm yourself with better tools and strategies. By doing this you are teaching yourself to be proactive not reactive to the world around you, and you are cultivating a more stoic and real approach to life. You are training yourself to live without regret and shame, because you know that you are in control of making your own better choices. 
It requires fearlessness and willingness, but it is a worthwhile undertaking to attend to from time to time to help you to grow into the best version of yourself. To face yourself you need to be still and quiet and above all else honest. Acknowledge where you've been, recognise where you are and cultivate a pathway ahead that brings you closer to who you want to be. 
I'm not gonna lie to you, it's frickin hard work, but any work of the self always is. Most of us are more than willing to roll up our sleeves to pitch in and help others, but even more willingly to neglect the work of the self. I tell you with all honesty, the work of the self is where the real growth occurs, so take the wool from your eyes, stop being distracted and spend a little time getting to know yourself on a deeper level because a better you is just around the corner. 

I am not what you would call sports minded, or sports orientated or even sports enthusiastic for that matter. I don't follow or participate in any team sports and I don't have a favourite team that I barrack for, not even in the AFL (Australian Football League) which often comes as a horrific shock to so many Australians when I tell them that. I have no idea who won the AFL Grand Final, ever for that matter. I don't know the names of any sports people and I never go to see people playing sports professionally. However, that does not mean that I do not recognise that sport is a strong and alluring form of entertainment to hundreds of thousands of people and that there are some huge benefits to being a part of a competitive team, but honestly, it's just so not my jam in any way, shape or form. 
It's not that I have never been a part of a sports team in my life, because I have, on many occasions actually. You can't grow up in Australia and completely avoid being involved in some kind of sport at some point in your life. Australia and a love of all things sport related goes hand in hand, and when I was growing up if you weren't good at sports or interested in sport you were a total freak. Even the most unfit beer-bellied blokes in my street would talk about the footy, watch the cricket and squat on the couch to catch the highlights from the Bathurst car rallies. You don't need to be fit to love your sport in Australia, you just have to love it, and if you don't, well you are just weird.
Growing up I was on a softball team, a footy team, a table tennis team, a beach volleyball team and once I was even part of a calisthenic squad. As a teenager I danced ballet, ballroom and even tried my hand at Taekwondo, but none of it stuck. I always thought that TV sports were dead boring and could never see any purpose in watching other people 'do' sport. The only part of the Olympics that I have ever really gotten into was the opening ceremony, and I have always considered competitions that awarded people for being the fastest and strongest and most physical enduring really archaic and rather uninspiring. However, as I said earlier, I understand that it serves a purpose as entertainment, but it has just never entertained me. 
I never kept up with any of the sports that I have been involved in, and over the years sports related activities have become of lower and lower priority and interest to me. I know that people are incredibly devoted to their sports, to their teams and to their sporting heros, but I am not and never will be a part of those ranks. And it still makes me an outcast to not be involved in, or at the very least enthusiastic about, sports. It is almost a prerequisite to society in Australia to love sport, in some way, in some fashion. And even though there's a plethora of sports to get behind and support, I honestly don't have any interest in knowing any more about any of them. 
I completely understand that people devote their lives to their sports, and hey....go them! Seriously, big props to that, but it doesn't inspire me to get involved. From what I have gleaned about professional sportsmanship, and I can only give an outsider's perspective on this, it seems elitist, corrupt, controlled, sexist, marketed and unnatural in every way. I have seen interviews with sport people that have left me feeling very sad about how inflated their egos are and how little regard they appear to have for their young and influential fans, and nothing that I have learned about sports as an adult has made me want to get back on board yet.  
However, that being said, every once and a while a sports story comes along that breaks the mold and makes me see how people can be reached through sports in enlightening and forward-thinking ways. Occasionally I can see how change can be garnered through a few brave and dedicated heroes of the sports arena, and how, just like any form of entertainment, it can be used for good or bad purposes. I just wish that  a sports story would come along that would make me want to be more involved again, but it would need to be a pretty frickin amazing one to make that happen! 

FIGHTING WITH MY FAMILY 
Release Date: 2019
Rating: M
Running Time: 108 mins
A biographical sports comedy/drama based on the 2012 documentary The Wrestlers: Fighting with my Family by director Max Fisher. With a surprisingly fresh dialogue (mainly due to Stephen Merchant's writing and directing) Fighting with My Family delivers an enjoyable, educational and entertaining look into the world of female professional wrestling. 
A British amatuer wrestling family have their lives changed forever when they receive a call from an NXT executive requesting that two of their children (Zak and Saraya 'Paige' Bevis) try out for a spot in the WWE. However, when it is Paige that gets selected to join, Zak struggles to be supportive in the wake of his own lost dream, leaving Paige to face the cutthroat world of professional wrestling on her own. 
This is a perfectly cast film, with Nick Frost and Lena Headey providing excellent support to Florence Pugh (Paige) as her enthusiastic wrestling parents, and also delivering some much needed levity and humour to an otherwise pretty predictable script. Vince Vaughn is also terrific as trainer and WWE representative Hutch Morgan and Jack Lowden steals the show with his pouty disposition and scruffy likeability as Paige's put upon brother Zak. Dwayne Johnson is playing himself here and also depicting his old wrestling persona 'The Rock' which is always amusing to me.
The cast really do make this movie, but I cannot deny that it was also really great to watch another female empowerment movie about a strong, determined women taking the lead, breaking stereotypes and kicking some arse along the way.
FINAL SAY: Dick me dead, and bury me pregnant. 
3.5 Chilli Peppers ​

I recently came into contact with a book called The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Wisdom by Don Miguel Ruiz. This book, which was first published in 1997 and has sold around 7.2 million copies in the US alone has been translated into 40 languages and was written by a Toltec spiritualist and self made shaman. Sounds like some weird stuff right? Well on some levels it is, but it is also the most inspiring, motivational and thought provoking material that I have encountered in some time and I loved the message being relayed in the text and really wanted to share it on my blog. 
For those of you that have read this book or have already come against the theories outlined within it's pages, I apologise, but for anyone that hasn't encountered this book yet, then I think that you should read it as soon as you can. It's only around 160 pages long and yeah....sure, it's a bit alternative and spiritual in it's approach but it's also lovely to read and leaves you feeling so ponderous and hopeful that you can be a better version of yourself that by the end of it you will feel ready to tackle anything head on.  
The book advocates personal freedom from beliefs and poorly designed agreements that we have made with ourselves and others that are creating limitations and unhappiness in our lives. In the book there are four new agreements for you to make with yourself that are simplistic but simplistically perfect at the same time. 
1. Be impeccable with your word. Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love. 
2. Don't make assumptions. Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life. 
3. Don't take anything personally. Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering. 
4. Always do your best. Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstances, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgement, self-abuse and regret. 

Don Miguel Ruiz's son Don Jose Ruiz subsequently released a sequel with his father that adds a fifth agreement to that list:
5. Be Skeptical, but learn to listen. 
Which, let's be honest, is pretty sound advice on any level. I haven't read the The Fifth Agreement book so I can't really recommend it, but I do recommend The Four Agreements for no other reason than some life inspiration and food for thought. 

So, I am going to end this blog entry with my favourite quote from the book:
Life is like dancing. If we have a big floor, many people will dance. Some will get angry when the rhythm changes, but life is changing all the time.

Managing the everyday pressures of daily life is one of the most important skills that anyone can have in their tool kit to enable them to thrive. There are literally hundreds, if not thousands of articles, research papers and theories around what that tool kit should look like and the type of skills that are vital to hone for best success. So what skills are the experts and scholars of the world actually recommending that we have and how much actual success is really being experienced through the development of these practices? 
​After trawling the internet, reading some scholarly articles, investigating numerous case studies and perusing several self help manuals over the weekend for the answers to those questions, I have discovered that most 'experts' appear to unanimously agree on the following five 'must have' skills for coping with the everyday pressures of everyday life.
Now I am not claiming that these five tips are the holy grail for ultimate life satisfaction, but just about everything that I did read had these five pointers included in their success criteria for keeping stress levels low and life enjoyment high. I thought that it was interesting that it all pretty much seems to boil down to just  five key pointers, and it certainly does align with my own opinions and theories for living a better life, however, as far as the actually information goes, well you can trash it or thrash it, the choice is entirely yours. 
Do these five things actually work? Well I would have to assume that if everyone keeps on referring to them as the vitals in a pressure free lifestyle, then there must be some level of success attached to their implementation. It is pretty much impossible to refute a few of them for obvious reasons because they are total no-brainers and everyone knows that adopting them would bring about a level of detox and calm. I do think they are all safe to implement and can't see how any of them would add to anyone's stress load unless they chose a hobby that was stressful, which would be rather counterproductive. But as I said, I am just the messenger, so you make your own mind up. 
So without further ado, here is what the experts recommend that you need to employ to get the stress levels in your life down to a minimum. 
​
1. Share Your Feelings. Trying to cope alone is ridiculous and unrealistic. Call on your support network, rally around your friends and share your concerns. A problem shared is a problem halved. 
2. Get Real. Drop the need to be perfect, learn to say no and be willing and open to compromise. Accept that you are only human and that everyone gets overwhelmed from time to time. 
3. Be Healthy. Eat well, exercise, get enough sleep and cut back on caffeine, tobacco and alcohol. Taking care of your physical self will make your life much easier in the long run. 
4. Deal with One Problem at a Time. Address where your stress is coming from and begin to eliminate what you longer need. Make a list, monitor where your tensions lie and make realistic and achievable goals to reduce the high stress tickets on your dance card. 
5. Visualise, Meditate, Dance, Find a Healthy Outlet. Finding a relaxing hobby or pastime that you enjoy will not only make you happier and more able to cope with everyday stress, it will also give you something to look forward when you feel like your cup has runneth over.

And apparently that's it! Seems pretty simple in theory, but any fool knows that it's always the practice that takes all of the hard work. 

Can you believe that I have been feeling so zenned out lately that I had totally forgotten what it felt like to get really angry? Sure I have gotten annoyed and antsy from time to time, but not full blown 'Mad Max Fury Road' for a while now. I'm talking really angry and uber frustrated because this week I did encounter those feelings for the first time in a really long time and it was so completely lousy in every way. I'd forgotten how genuinely shithouse those feelings are, and as a result of that I just didn't know how to process them. How the hell do people that are angry all of the time function? It's so exhausting being cross, I just wanted to go and have a lay down!
I was at work when it happened, which is the exact place that you do not want to be when you find yourself feeling ultra frustrated and pissed off, so I couldn't just go on an hour long hike into the bush or meditate the feelings out of me, I had to deal with them. If I was a big time shouter, trust me when I say that I would've been yelling, but I didn't yell....I just broke down. Snapped like a twig and wept, which isn't exactly the best way to process frustration but I suppose that it beats throwing a stapler at someones head or smashing their face into the side of the photocopier, so in the big scheme of things it wasn't a complete disaster.
I was however shocked at the uncontrollable outpouring  of emotion that I felt. I don't cry that often so I was quite horrified when my body just let go like it did, horrified but not disgusted or ashamed of myself for it, just shocked. I used to think that crying was a display of weakness because I was raised to believe that that was true, and in the past I would have been questioning whether I was going through perimenopause or something like it, but in the last couple of years of my life I have come to understand that crying is most certainly not a sign of weakness at all.
We live in a world that demands that we keep a lid on our feelings most of the time, but the truth is that it isn't really healthy to keep a lid on your feelings all of the time, that kind of thinking creates barriers and gives people cancer. There are going to be moments in your life when emotions are going to rise up from the shadows where you've worked hard to keep them contained and you will become, even if it is only for a few moments, unable to stuff them back down, and you know what? That's totally okay. 
Showing that you are affected deeply by something is not weak, pathetic or dishonorable, it's human. And as long as you aren't having regular breakdowns on a daily basis then it's totally acceptable to release a bit of tension and anxiety and let the tears flow on occasion. I remember hearing once that people only cry when the emotions inside of them get so big that their bodies cannot contain it any longer and so it has to find an exit, and that exit is through the windows of the soul. It's kind of beautiful when you think about it like that, it's cathartic and cleansing and purifying to the soul to cry once and awhile. 
And so I have had a big cry and let it all out and you know what, I actually do feel better for it. When you don't cry that often then people do tend to take notice when you do and I think that I probably couldn't have communicated my level of frustration and annoyance in a better way than I did now that I look back on it. However, one thing that all of this has taught me is that no matter how zenned out you may think you are, it is a very thin line between keeping your composure and being ridiculously annoyed and frustrated, and that no-one has it all together all of the time. 

I love the idea of upskilling or 'life levelling up' and I have poured hours of devotion into new practises and pathways that I believe have helped me to become a better and more rounded person. I do have to be honest and admit that sometimes the amount of time and energy that is required to engage in some form of new and meaningful life upskilling is quite overwhelming to me at the moment, and it isn't because of a lack of desire or motivation, it is because I feel like I have already had more than my fair share of 'upgrades' in this life. 
At the moment, I have pretty much 'maxed out' my life. If I was a game avatar I would have almost every perk, extra feature and bonus item already in my inventory, there would be no more to add to my character except for cardio, I know that I need more cardio! I have done so many incredible things, seen so many amazing things, had so many adventures and worked hard to incorporated the best of everything that I have discovered along those paths into my life. And now I can say that I truly understand what it feels like to have my 'cup runneth over.' 
So have I plateaued? Well if this is what plateauing feels like, then I am fine with that! But I do think that it is quite the contrary really, because I actually feel like I am running on maximum (well not literally running, let's not forget that cardio stuff, doubt that I will ever nail that) and even though I do not fit into the mould of what society tells me to believe that a 45 year women should 'look' like or 'feel' like, I actually feel amazing and completely happy. Sure I am not what anyone would call 'fit' or 'thin' but I am thriving. I feel well and vibrant and healthier than I have ever felt in my life, so what is actually going here? Why now, when I am older, heavier and wrinklier than I have ever been in my life am I experiencing this feeling of abundance and joy? 
Perhaps it is what I spend my spare time doing that has cultivated this feeling of abundance? I like to spend my free hours practising yoga, meditating, walking, listening to podcasts, watching movies and TV shows, socialising with friends and family, cooking, journalling and reading. I would call myself a moderately active person, I eat healthy nutritious foods, and I try to balance out my days with some activity and some inactivity because I believe that balance is the key to a good life.
I do have the most excellent and fulfilling relationships with the people around me that I have ever had in my life and I value those relationships above everything else. I try to make sure that the people in my life feel cared for and I try to make time for meaningful engagment with the people that I care about. My family means the world to me and my friends are not only beautiful people, but they are also caring, unique and stimulating to have around.
Perhaps all of these practises combined have put me in good stead, and maybe I don't need to add anything more to the mix since I am feeling so terrific. And maybe all of this really just boils down to a state of mind. Maybe feeling like you have a life of abundance is really more about having self acceptance, contentment and always keeping your eye on the glass being half full. I really do have what most people would call a full and happy life, and it is good to celebrate that and rejoice in the space that I have cultivated for myself. I don't actually need another upgrade at this moment in life, I am happy, I am abundant and I am the best version of myself at this present moment. 

I was having a conversation with a good friend of mine the other day and they told me that they felt that they would never find love. Naturally my reaction to this information was, why? In my mind this person is more than lovable, attractive, very intelligent and financially stable, why would someone like that have any trouble finding a meaningful and loving relationship? And then when she started to answer me, it all became very clear why. She had a list of potential partner prerequisites that would make a Harvard post-graduate with a six pack and a Lamborghini run away screaming, it was insane! And it got me thinking about realistic expectations when it comes to meeting a potential partner. 
My friend's list of requirements (and I am pretty sure that you would have heard something similar before) went a little something like this:
My potential love interest needs to be fit, financially comfortable, funny, adventurous and have a really good job. 
I would imagine that there millions of women that have lists very similar to this as their personal  prerequisites to love and I have to say that it is extremely disturbing. Finding a combination of traits like that in anyone at any one given time is going to be extremely rare, but are any of these individual ideals actually realistic anyway? 
My husband is certainly not what anyone would call funny most of the time, but sometimes he is gut bustingly hilarious! Does that count as funny? Who is funny all of the time anyway? That is creepy! And what about being fit? What level of 'fit' are we talking about here? A marathon runner is fit and a bodybuilder looks fit but they are completely different body types, and someone who is super fit would be at the gym or working out all of the time, is that what you're looking for? I asked her. 
And what if some great guy was rich and then gave it all away to charity, would he not be financially stable enough to be considered a good partner? What if he was just between terrific jobs, but was currently unemployed because he had just given up 12 months of his life to go and vaccinate children in Botswana against typhoid, would that guy not be worthy of consideration because he didn't have 'a really good job' at the moment? 
You can see where I am going with all of this right? I said. You have put up walls and expectations that are not only unrealistic but they are not allowing any potential partner to infiltrate that barrier because you don't want them to be human, fallible or individual. How bloody sad! And what about me as a friend? Do you hold me to ransom with the same high expectations? I am not fit, or wealthy and I only have a low earning job, does that mean that I am not good enough for you? 
Of course my friend said no, that they loved me dearly and that they would never see me as anything but a terrific friend and lifelong confident, and that was where I got her and I could see the look on her face. The penny had just dropped and she could finally see that she was actually holding herself back from having meaningful and lifelong relationships with men because she had put so many expectations on them. 
At the end of the day, love cannot be put into a pigeon hole and neither can anyone that you allow yourself to love. Sometimes we are all funny or more stable or flush with funds; and sometimes we are stronger or fitter or more secure, and then other times we are none of those things at all, and that's called life. In life, and love, there are no perfects...at best you may get some pretty perfect days and moments but nothing is ever permanent.
There is nothing wrong with aiming high for yourself, but expectations need to be kept realistic and viable or they are just going to hold you back from life and love. Love doesn't exist in a tiny perfect package, that's just what everybody wants you to think. Instagram is rife with snippets of perfection and people get really caught up in that bullshit and start to aim for something that isn't even real. Let me tell you that real love is messy and unpredictable, it farts on the couch and drinks milk from the carton and will probably make you angry and even cry sometimes, and that's okay. That means it's real. 
So in the end I reassured my friend that she has no reason to believe that she will never fall in love, because any idiot can fall in love, and there are millions of lonely people in the world looking for a connection, she just needs to put her phone back on the hook because she hasn't been receiving! And besides, any fool that decides to have someone as nutty as me as a best friend can definitely find love out there in the big wide world! Stranger things than that happen every damn day!  

STRANGER THAN FICTION
Release Date: 2006
Rating: M
Running Time: 113 mins 
A fantasy romance tale, directed by Marc Forster and written by Zach Helm (better known for his work on Mr Magorium's Wonder Emporium) that offers a sweet and entertaining look into the lives of ordinary everyday people with a whimsical and quirky backdrop. 
Harold Crick, an insanely regimented IRS agent, has his predictable life turned upside down when he begins to hear an internal voice that is narrating the events of his life as they occur. When he falls for Ana, the baker that he has been assigned to audit, things rapidly get even more out of hand for Harold. 
Will Ferrell delivers one of his best ever performances as Harold, and Maggie Gyllenhaal offers another believable quirky indie-chick performance. It is actually the incredible cast that really brings this film to life; Emma Thompson, Dustin Hoffman, Queen Latifah and Tom Hulce all bring levity to the story; which although isn't life changing, is intelligent, charming and quite good fun. 
FINAL SAY: I brought you flours. 
3.5 Chilli Peppers ​

International Women's Day always gets me thinking about how far we have come, and also how far we still have to go, when it comes to female equality and empowerment. It is true that as a society we have made good progress for women when it comes to supporting collective actions, investigating constitutional and legal reforms, generating buzz around social and economic practises and spearheading positive changes around norms within the workplace, and we really do need to celebrate those achievements. However, and I don't want to come off as negative in saying this, but let's not kid ourselves about the fact that we still have a really long a way to go before women can truly feel empowered and equal in our current society. 
Whether we want to admit it or not, the truth is that women are still not considered equal to men financially, emotionally or in the workplace. When it comes to raising collateral, cracking big deals or convincing investors to get on board with ideas, women entrepreneurs are half as likely to succeed over a man, even if they are actually more qualified and adept at their jobs. And in a recent anonymous business study, men in positions of high power or leadership still believed that many women were too emotional, temperamental or unreliable to hold down positions of power in business.  
Why, in this day and age are these ridiculous and archaic stereotypes still being perpetuated? And more to the point, what can we do to stop this type of discrimination and sexism from continuing? Well, there are actually very simple and effective ways that you can be supporting women in the world and creating change and mindset growth around what women can do just by the way that you speak and what you tolerate being said about women around you. 
Firstly, watch your words! Language is powerful and it can easily enforce a belief or concept without you even meaning it to. Avoid referring to women in derogatory terms (even if you are just joking) and correct others who do it in discussions with you. Any words that reinforce the stereotype that women are weak, not powerful and not in control of their own lives is doing all women harm. Always speak about women in uplifting language and never use words that imply that they are less capable than men. 
Female empowerment begins at home. So empower all of the women around you, including you daughters, your mother, your female relations, your girlfriends and your female work colleagues by supporting them, complimenting them and congratulating them on their achievements. Speak respectfully to every woman that you meet, the more empowered that a woman feels, the more likely that she is to take on new challenges and improve her station in life. Female confidence is the key to empowerment and even the most skeptical and sexist of men are more likely to pay attention if a woman comes across as self assured and self empowered. 
If you really want to empower women then be a positive role model yourself. You know the old "be the change that you wish to see in the world" quote, well if you want to empower women than be more empowered yourself. Make strong, informed and confident choices in your own life and demonstrate strength of mind, conviction and determination in the things that you do.
Mentor younger women to be more empowered by assisting them to develop their skill set and teaching them to speak up against discrimination, sexism and inequality in non-aggressive and powerful ways. The younger that you are, the easier that it is to learn new beliefs and adopt new ideas, so don't just coach young women, coach young men as well and teach them to respect and value women as much as men in every capacity of life. 
And most importantly, accept yourself and other women as well. Every woman that you meet is going to be different from you. Whether it is a different lifestyle, culture, religious background, political outlook or physical appearance, it doesn't matter - it is completely irrelevant. What you do all have in common is that you all identify as female, and knowing that you are all more alike than unlike is an empowering thing to know. Empowerment and acceptance are one and the same, and learning to accept yourself as a part of something bigger than yourself will help you to see the power and potential in all women.
Forget about trying to be perfect, youthful or skinny and invest your energy into being brave, strong and wise. Attitude is infectious and a positive, inclusive and empowering outlook will rub off on other people, so just start in small ways and you'll soon start to set an example for other women to follow. Remember, men have been propping up other men for centuries now and that has lead to them having a position of power in the world over women. As women, we know that we don't need to stoop to being oppressive to men to feel empowered, but we do want to be treated equally and recognized for our worth, and that we deserve no less than that.
So change your mindset and go out and start singing your praises to the wonderful women of this world by celebrating your own worth and becoming a part of the female empowerment movement that is going to set young females up for a brighter and more equal future in years to come. You go girl!

I often get asked by people that never watch horror movies about my levels of tolerance to scary and supernatural material.  'How do you watch all that horror and not get totally freaked out?' they ask me, claiming that the Freddy Kruegers and Babadooks of the cinematic world would keep them awake for nights on end if they were watching it.  
My reply to these enquiries are always the same, and it has nothing to do with having a high tolerance to violent or disturbing material, quite the opposite really. My reason for not being deeply affected by horror is that it is, for the most part, absolutely implausible bullshit. I am not going to be kept awake at night worrying about fictional characters, spooks or demonic behaviours when I know that they are nothing more than the creations of someones overactive imagination.
I totally respect horror for it's genuinely entertaining and inventive storytelling and I enjoy the thrill of watching horror, but it doesn't keep me awake at night or affect me that deeply because my brain can tune it out based on the fact that is all untrue. What does keep me awake at night are movies that are based on true crime stories, actual events and tragedies and tales of home invasion. I have spent a lot more time lying in bed at night trying to clear the cache of some of the stuff on my gritty/ documentary and crime lists than I have ever spent pondering a rogue werewolf or a poltergeist. 
​When a film has an element of realism or fact attached to it then my mind interprets it on a whole other level. I can recall my father telling me when I was small that being scared of ghosts was just plain stupid and that the real dangers in the world and the things to worry about and look out for were the bad people who are very much alive and kicking. 'The dead can't hurt you' he said 'it's the live ones that you need to watch out for.' And I think that I have always hung my hat on that advice and it has allowed me to keep my focus on the rational things to be afraid of and not the fables and fantasies.  
There are some genuinely depraved and sick individuals out there in the world that make your average vampire and werewolf look like kittens. After all, a werewolf is really just a wild animal driven by the need to feed and even a vampire can be taken down with a bit of sunlight and decent sharpened stake, but the real life sickos of the world are far more insidious than that. They are often intelligent, manipulative and far more deranged than any Hollywood monster or horror character has ever been. 
It's the grizzly Ted Bundy, Andrei Chikatilo, Jeffrey Dahmer and John Gacy types of the world that keep me awake at night. Serial stalkers that prey on the weak and the innocent, have no remorse for their actions, cannot control their impulses and are prone to the cruelest and the most violently inhumane acts ever know to man, they are the terrors of the world that mess with my mind at night. They are the reason that I can't listen to True Crime podcasts and avoid watching too many crime investigation dramas. Give me a rampaging ghost or demonic possession over a true crime story any day thanks, at least I know that I will get some sleep and not feel unsafe all of the time. 
Truth is not only stranger than fiction, it is much much darker as well, and it is important to remember that most movie monsters and horror characters are all actually derived from the evils of man in the first place anyway. The real evils of the world are not only more disturbing, they are also constantly humming in the background, unseen and mostly unconsidered as well. And unlike a supernatural villain, they cannot be dismissed as folly or fiction either. There are no Hollywood sets, costumes or blood spatter effects going on in true crime stories, they are about real life monsters and their real life victims and the dreadful terrors that they endured, which easily makes them the most evil, horrific and unforgettable stories to wrap you head around.
​True crime is the stuff of nightmares, not horror movies, and that is why watching horror movies does not  keep me awake at night. 

The big movie event happened on Monday night, the Oscars. And although I wasn't exactly on the money with all of my predictions, I didn't do too badly.  I honestly believe that all of the winners were extremely worthy of their accolades and as usual I really enjoyed watching the glitz and glamour of the night. 
The highlight of the evening for me was definitely Olivia Colman's stirring and emotional acceptance speech for Best Actress in a Leading Role, I loved how she humbly got overwhelmed about her own talent and good fortune, blew raspberries at the camera and tearfully showed a very human and adorable side of herself to the world. 
Most awkward event of the night was definitely Bradley Cooper and Lady Gaga's provocative performance of Shallow, as they draped themselves over the piano and each other for the duration. Come on Cooper, your wife is sitting right there! All those sultry looks and longing glances, get a room guys, the writing is on the wall....here comes the next Brangelina! Seriously though, it was just plain weird and awkward. I do love Gaga but she is just OTT sometimes, and the fact that she has just left her partner has certainly exacerbated the Cooper affair rumours. However, to be honest, I really don't give a shit if they are hooking up or not really, but who doesn't like a good Hollywood scandal from time to time? 
Most swag definitely goes to Spike Lee whose style (or lack thereof?) is both inspiring and amusing to me. I also loved his acceptance speech for Best Adapted Screenplay and I respect his general lust for life attitude. 
Most satisfying award recipient for me was Alfonso Cuarón taking Best Director for Roma, because he deserved it so completely. That film was a piece of personal perfection for him, and it was wonderful to see him basking in the glory of praise for that. 
As always I loved the whole event, and now I cannot wait to sink my teeth into some new material that may prove to be worthy of some 2020 Academy Award attention. 

Just in case you missed any of it, Here is the full list of 2019’s Academy Award winners as they were presented on the night:
Documentary (Feature) — Jimmy Chin and Elizabeth Chai Vasarhelyi, Free Solo
Actress in a Supporting Role — Regina King, If Beale Street Could Talk
Makeup and Hairstyling — Greg Cannom, Kate Biscoe, and Patricia Dehaney, Vice
Costume Design — Ruth E. Carter, Black Panther
Production Design — Hannah Beachler and Jay Hart, Black Panther
Cinematography — Alfonso Cuarón, Roma
Sound Editing — John Warhurst, Bohemian Rhapsody
Sound Mixing — Paul Massey, Tim Cavagin, and John Casali, Bohemian Rhapsody
Foreign Language Film — Alfonso Cuarón, Roma
Film Editing — John Ottman, Bohemian Rhapsody
Actor in a Supporting Role — Mahershala Ali, Green Book
Animated Feature Film — Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse, Bob Persichetti, Peter Ramsey, Rodney Rothman
Animated Short Film — Domee Shi, Bao
Documentary Short Subject — Rayka Zehtabchi and Melissa Berton, Period. End of Sentence.
Visual Effects — Paul Lambert, Ian Hunter, Tristan Myles and J.D. Schwalm, First Man
Live Action Short Film — Guy Nattiv and Jamie Ray Newman, Skin
Best Original Screenplay — Nick Vallelonga, Brian Currie, Peter Farrelly, Green Book
Best Adapted Screenplay — Spike Lee, Sean McKittrick, Jason Blum, Raymond Mansfield, Jordan Peele, BlacKkKlansman
Original Score — Ludwig Goransson, Black Panther
Original Song — Lady Gaga, Mark Ronson, Anthony Rossomando, and Andrew Wyatt, “Shallow,” A Star Is Born
Best Actor in a Leading Role — Rami Malek, Bohemian Rhapsody
Best Actress in a Leading Role — Olivia Colman, The Favourite
Best Director — Alfonso Cuarón, Roma
Best Picture — Green Book

The 91st Academy Awards are on tomorrow, which on top of the Golden Globes and the SAG awards I watch every year. This year I will be watching with a couple of good friends over coffee and nibbles, and I am so looking forward to it. I have managed to see almost all of the nominated materials over the course of the year and I am always keen to see if my personal opinions line up with the big guns at the Academy. 
If you haven't stumbled across the Academy Award nominations yet, here is a run down of the big ticket awards (the ones that I like to know the winner of the most). If you are more interested in the sound, design, costume and cinematography awards then check online for those nominations. 
I have underlined who I think the Academy will more than likely give it to and then my personal choice is in bold. 
Best Picture 
Black Panther
BlackkKlansman
Bohemian Rhapsody
The Favourite
Green Book
Roma
A Star is Born
Vice

Actor in a Leading Role
Christian Bale, Vice
Bradley Cooper, A Star is Born
Willem Dafoe, At Eternity’s Gate
Rami Malek, Bohemian Rhapsody
Viggo Mortensen, Green Book

Actress in a Leading Role  (Huge snubbing of Toni Collette in Hereditary here)
Yalitza Aparicio, Roma
Glenn Close, The Wife
Olivia Colman, The Favourite
Lady Gaga, A Star is Born
Melissa McCarthy, Can You Ever Forgive Me?

Actor in a Supporting Role (Huge snubbing of Timothee Chalamet in Beautiful Boy here) 
Mahershala Ali, Green Book
Adam Driver, BlackkKlansman
Sam Elliot, A Star is Born
Richard E Grant, Can You Ever Forgive Me
Sam Rockwell, Vice

Actress in a Supporting Role
Amy Adams, Vice
Marina De Tavira, Roma
Regina King, If Beale Street Could Talk
Emma Stone, The Favourite
Rachel Weisz, The Favourite

Animated Feature Film 
Incredibles 2
Isle of Dogs
Mirai
Ralph Breaks the Internet
Spider-Man: Into the Spider-verse

Directing
Spike Lee, BlackkKlansman
Pawel Pawlikowski, Cold War
Yorgos Lanthimos, The Favourite
Alfonso Cuaron, Roma
Adam McKay, Vice

Foreign Language Film
Capernaum (Lebanon)
Cold War (Poland)
Never Look Away (Germany)
Roma (Mexico)
Shoplifters (Japan)

​As usual, the horror and sci-fi industry gets another shafting, as does some excellent art house material yet again, but no surprises there really. And even though I do believe that Toni Collette was the actress of the year in Hereditary, and Timothee Chalamet was epic in Beautiful Boy  (and hey what about Paddington 2?) I won't be boycotting the proceedings. In spite of my moaning every year, of course I'm still going to watch the awards, I love the glitz and glam of it all!  And who knows? Roma could repeat the 1997 A Life is Beautiful effort  and sweep the Awards ceremony this year, it feels like it could be time to turn a spotlight on quality foreign cinema again. 
The 91st Academy Awards will air on the NINE network at midday in Australia tomorrow (Monday 25th February) and then again at 7.30pm on GEM if you want to see them yourself.

I have been listening to a really interesting audio book all about habits, it discusses why we have them, how they are formed and how we can create new and better ones. Obviously I am really interested in the topic of habit and had just recently blogged about good and bad habits on Spicywatch, so it seemed like a wild and also pleasant coincidence when this book popped up on my audio book recommended list free of charge! Bonus! So it was with much eagerness that I started listening to it and then ended up bingeing the whole book over the past four days and although some of the information wasn't exactly a revelation to me, some of it was downright fascinating. 
The most interesting thing that I discovered about habits was how you can easily create new ones. Well, I must admit that when I say easily I say it quite loosely, because creating new habits is actually far from easy when you really get down to the brass tacks of it. According to research, the theory of it only taking around 21 days to create a new habit is absolute horseshit. It actually takes an average of 66 days to create a new habit, and that's the average so some people can require 100's of days to form a new habit, so it's safe to say that my theory of change taking substantial time is actually factual, so I was always right about that. 
However, what I did find fascinating was the fact that managing our compulsions for instant gratification was a major factor in the success of our new habit creations. Basically, if you can focus on the long term benefits and not the short term gratification, then you are more likely to create good habits that will set you up for a better life. How do I know this? Well, a Harvard study was done on 1,000 four year old children in the 1970's where they gave each child one marshmallow and told them that they could eat it right away. However, the children were also told that if they could leave the marshmallow alone and wait whilst the tester left the room, then when the tester returned they could have two marshmallows.  These children were all middle class children without any known external factors or diagnosis that may affect results; and their results were recorded.
The children were called back 40 years later as adults approaching their mid-life, and questioned about their lifestyles. All of the adults that had eaten the first marshmallow as a child and sought instant gratification had lower incomes, less employment opportunities due to  their lower academic performance and had in many cases suffered from more marital and parenting problems and had a higher percentage of issues around substance abuse and alcoholism than the group that had waited for their second marshmallow as kids. 
So what does all of this mean? That if you eat the marshmallow at four then you're doomed to a life of less? No, of course it doesn't! It means that if you know that you are an instant gratification kind of a person, then you will need to work a lot harder to maintain good habits and also conscientiously teach yourself to modify your impulses and focus on the long term greater good. Which basically means that YOLO isn't going to cut it if you want to get the best out of your life. 
The good news is that no-one is a hopeless case and that anyone can make their lives better and adopt better habits. The secret is that by making bad habits harder to get to and good habits more rewarding, you can trick your brain into wanting to do more of the good stuff. For example, if what you want to achieve is more exercise then only let yourself watch your favourite show or listen to your really exciting novel or podcast when you are exercising. Or, if you want to stop drinking as much wine in the evening then make it harder to access by not having it the house ready to go, or putting in shitty tasks that you have to do to get that wine like doing two loads of laundry or picking up dog shit in the yard first and you will soon associate the wine with crappy feelings. Sounds pretty simple, but it's not because remember that you need to do it for around 66 days or more before your brain kicks into gear and accepts it as a new habit or lifestyle change.
So, yeah, it isn't really easy to make awesome or new habits, but the really great news is that it is never impossible. According to the habit book, you are literally never too old to create new and better habits in your life, so my best advice is to commit to a long term good habit and then just get a hustle on for goodness sake! There is no better time than right now!

AMERICAN HUSTLE
Release Date: 2013
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 138 mins
Directed by David Russell, this 70's crime romp based on an actual FBI undercover investigation, is a magnificent mix of madness, comedy and deception. Rife with flamboyantly dressed criminals and speckled with fabulous '70's hits, this movie is a winner from start to end, mostly due to the faultless delivery of its strong and capable cast.
Irving Rosenfeld (Christian Bale) and his seductive scamming partner (Amy Adams) are forced to assist an arrogant FBI agent (Bradley Cooper) with his plans to expose a group of New Jersey power-brokers and the mafia through the corrupt connections of Mayor Carmine Polito (Jeremy Renner). 
Basically it's con-artists, criminals and Feds uncomfortably rubbing shoulders, and it's not a pretty sight. Bale, Renner and Cooper have fully committed to their hideously funny roles and Adams and Lawrence are bringing their best in every respect. This may be the most fun that I have had with a crime drama in a very long time, it's unmissable. 
FINAL SAY: You're nothing to me until you're everything. 
4.5 Chilli Peppers ​

There are some actors that I just can't get enough of. Every time that I see them in a trailer for an upcoming movie I get really excited because I am enthralled by their talent, dedication, diversity and onscreen presence. Some actors just can't put a foot wrong in my mind, they always give 100% and they never seem to be cast in crappy pointless movies, but sometimes I wonder if it is just their presence that makes a movie a winner for me.
I believe that on some occasions that certainly may have been true, particularly if I am only interested in the actor from a pervy perspective. Hey, don't judge me, I am human, I know a super hot actor when I see one, but the super hot actors (Michael Fassbender you know that I am talking about you!) aren't always in great movies, in fact they are often cast in pretty shitty movies quite a lot. I almost walked out of Assassin's Creed (almost) and if Fassbender hadn't been shirtless for 70% of that film, I definitely would've left!
However, I digress, what I am trying to say is that the actors that really have me riveted to my seat during a film are actually not the 'hot' ones, they are the ones that have the most stage presence. The actors that I feel an emotional connection to when they are on screen are the actors that I want to see more of, and there are quite a few of them that I just can't get enough of.
Here is my list of the top ten best actors (that I just can't get enough of) who are still on screen at the moment. 
1. Michael Shannon: He always plays such a nasty bad guy and  such a sweet good guy, I just love his intensity so much. 
First love moment: the good advice older brother in Mud. 
Favourite Shannon role: the creepy weirdo in Bug.
2. Kate Winslet: She is a gorgeous creature and a super talent. I adore her British accent and her advocacy of 'less photoshop more realism' for famous women. 
First love moment: Hugging a deshevilled and red dress clad Harvey Keitel in the back of a ute in Holy Smoke.
Favorite Winslet role: Her confused gorgeousness in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. 
3. Mahershala Ali: I can not look away when this man is on screen, he just demands attention and I am happy to give it to him.
First love moment: The unlikely drug dealing father figure in Moonlight. 
Favourite Ali  role: The uptight pianist in Green Book. 
4. Olivia Colman: I loved her way back when she was Sophie in Peep Show, and she has just gone from strength to strength since then. 
First love moment: The achingly damaged charity shop worker in Tyrannosaur.
Favourite Colman role: The clueless queen in The Favourite. 
5. Sarah Paulson: Paulson is easily the one of the best things about AHS and one of the reasons that I am so hooked on the series. I adore her beauty and her unwavering commitment to non-conformity and self empowerment for women.
First love moment: Tortured and enduring wife of Fassbender in 12 Years a Slave. 
Favourite Paulson role: Gorgeous ex-love of Mark Duplass in Blue Jay.
6. Timothee Chalamet: Okay, I admit he is young and gorgeous, but he is also extremely talented and he has so much range for such a young actor. That chiselled face, I cannot look away and I don't want to!
First love moment: His first love summer in Call Me By Your Name. 
Favourite Chalamet role: His heartbreaking drug addicted arse in Beautiful Boy. 
7. Sam Rockwell: So much swag and talent in such a small guy. He is insidious, he is in absolutely everything and does all genres well; he is always terrific. 
First love moment: His solo space-capades in Moon.
Favourite Rockwell role: The racist, angry and volatile cop in Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri.
8. Octavia Spencer: Charming, this women is so damn charming and her smile makes me feel so happy. She is super talent and an inspiration to plus sized women everywhere. 
First love moment: 'Eat my Shit' Minny in The Help. 
Favourite Spencer role: Brilliant African American NASA lady in Hidden Figures.
9. Amy Adams: Why is this woman not drowning in accolades? She is clearly one of the best actresses of her generation, she can do no wrong in mind. 
First love moment: Gorgeous double crossing grifter in American Hustle.
Favourite Adams role: Alien conversationalist in Arrival.
10. Paul Dano: Recently blew my mind in Escape at Dannemora, Dano always brings something memorable and noteworthy to the screen. 
First love moment: Dealing with Daniel Day Lewis' milkshake rant in There Will be Blood. 
Favourite Dano role: Love inventor in Ruby Sparks. 

Who are your favourite actors? Leave your comments below, I'd love to know who you love to watch. 

Only a few short years ago I recall writing on this blog with great anxiety about my daughter Zoe leaving home to go to University. I was a total mess at the time; a mess of worry and a mess of emotions. I was filled with a strange and unsettling mixture of pride, melancholia and knee-trembling fear that I haven't really come up against since then. I suppose that letting your children leave home to find their own place in the world really does have it's own unique set of emotions. A set of emotions that can't completely be defined or replicated, and equally cannot be forgotten either.  
I recall that one of my blog entries at that time was entitled But I don't want you to go.... and it was filled with my deep concerns and neurotic carry on about how Zoe could ever cope without me, and also what my life would look like without her around 24/7. I know that at that point in my life I just could not imagine what it would feel like or look like to not have Zoe there all of the time, it was such a foreign idea to me; an idea that I didn't really want to entertain.
​And now here I am, preparing to see Zoe graduate from University tomorrow and wondering what it was that I was so worried about when she left home a few years ago and about how my life and hers, turned out to be just fine, in fact better than fine, pretty damn great! And there is something really comforting about that. You see, I now have the knowledge that in spite of our greatest fears and anxieties we can adjust, we can move forward and we can achieve marvellous things as well. 
Tomorrow Zoe will take to the stage in her gown and tassel mortar-board and she will become a University graduate, the first University graduate in our family and we just couldn't be more proud of her. And she did it on her own, in a new town without us beside her to bolster the waves and lead the way, she did it all on her own. Now I could say that it was because we are such epic parents that she could manage all of this, but I honestly can't take the credit for all of her hard work. This one is Zoe's and Zoe's alone, she did it and she did it so well that she's been invited back to complete her honours as well. Woohoo - you go girl!
This whole experience has not only made Zoe grow up and learn about life, but it has also made Craig and I grow up and learn about life as well. We've changed a lot over the last few years that Zoe has left our home, and we have had a glimpse at what life looks like when you have less chicks in the nest to tend to as well. And you know what? We survived and we thrived, and we are all still close and we all enjoy each others company. I also now know for sure that just because your chicks fly the coop, that doesn't mean that they won't come back to roost for a spell every now and then, and that they aren't still your chicks in every way. 
Letting them fly is difficult because you're so damn worried that they will fall without you, but I cannot tell how incredibly good it feels when they don't fall at all, but when they actually soar to greater heights than you could ever reach yourself. Words just cannot describe it and nothing I write will ever do it justice, so I am not even going to try, but I'm pretty sure that you get the idea. 

This week I was fortunate enough to go to Underbar restaurant in Ballarat for dinner. For those of you that haven't heard of Underbar yet, please allow me to explain it to you. According to their website, Underbar (pronounced oon-de-bar) is a Swedish adjective that means delectable, divine, gorgeous, lovely, marvelous and wonderful; which is a pretty good description of how amazing this place actually is. With only 12 seats in the restaurant and only one Friday or Saturday evening dining opportunity, this place is not easy to get a table at, but the wait to get one is totally worth it. 
Zoe and I, with the help of two of my dearest friends, indulged in the inspired chef's seasonal tasting menu with accompanying wines on Friday night; which allowed us to share in four hours of delicious eating, indulgent drinking and cosy conversation to kick off our weekend and celebrate Zoe's upcoming graduation on Thursday next week. 
It's pretty hard to describe the food that you eat at Underbar, and you could never really say that going to Underbar is 'going out for dinner' because it is really more of a culinary experience than a dinner. In saying that however, don't think that you are not going to be fed enough at because nothing could be further from the truth. You are doing nothing but eating and drinking on and off for the duration and by the end of the evening you are bursting at the seams and completely satisfied and content. Let's just say that you need to be in it for the food to go to Underbar. I slept like a baby after we got home, and slept in for the first time in an age on Saturday morning as well. Talk about ultimate contentment! 
10 courses of deliciousness were enjoyed in total. Beginning with nibbles, we then headed into appetisers, meandered through two entrees, delighted in three mains and then rounded it all out with two desserts and finished with delicate liquored jelly sweets; the courses just kept coming and coming and nothing disappointed. Chef Derek Boath clearly has a passion for good food and local produce and it is such a rare privilege to be able to observe a dedicated chef busily at work in the kitchen, giving your dishes his personal and intense attention to detail with lavish flourishes and impressive creativity. 
I tried new foods, I 'oohed and ahhed' at the incredible presentation of the dishes and I ate like a queen for a day. I cannot recommend the entire experience enough. If you haven't looked into a seat at Underbar yet, you really should. This restaurant is a bucket list experience that everyone should do at least once in their lifetime. Yes, it is pricey, but it is also worth it and I think that it was excellent value for money, Underbar is definitely a dining experience that you will never forget. 

In my last blog entry I was discussing the need to cull some bad habits out of your life to make room for the 'good' ones. And what I need to be clear about is what I actually mean by 'good' habits. Well, when I say 'good' habits, basically what I am talking about are the things that you can incorporate into your daily life that will make your life happier and more fulfilled. Now I do know that that is going to look different for a lot of people, because one person's idea of happiness and fulfillment may be a bottle of wine every night after work, which is fine, but it's hardly a 'good' habit is it? What I am talking about are really good habits, things that you can incorporate into your life right now that will make you feel better, look better and just generally help you to get more bang for your buck when it comes making the most of your time and increasing your overall enjoyment levels on a daily basis. 
Try not to think of my tips as definitive, but more advisory. I honestly do try my best to actually do these things myself, so I am not coming to you lightly when I say that these things work, however I am also not going to lie you and so therefore must admit that sometimes (regardless of how well I manage my time) that I just cannot always fit everything in all of the time.
However, these things are hugely beneficial and are genuinely part of my personal wellbeing regimen, and even if you can only adopt one or two of them, I guarantee that you'll notice a difference to the quality of your life as well. 
GETTING PRODUCTIVE:

• Get up early - before 6am. 
• Stack the dishwasher or wash the dishes as you use them.
• Don't leave all of your laundry to the weekend, do a load every other day. 
• If it will only take 10 minutes to do, then do it immediately. 
• Turn off your phone and electronic devices by 9.30pm.
• ​Clean out your wardrobe every 6 months and donate to charity shops.
• Have a household budget that you stick to and have a seperate savings account for special events, holidays or incidentals. 
• Listen to people closely so that you don't need do-overs. 
• Leave work at work, your free time is yours. 

LOOKING BETTER:

• Eat breakfast.
• Don't smoke.
• Don't binge drink.
• Take off your make-up and brush and floss your teeth every night before bed  - no matter what!
• Learn how to dry body brush and do it twice a week.
• Drink more water. 
• Go for a 30 minute (or longer) walk every day.

FEELING BETTER:

• Meditate (or at least tune out completely) for 20 minutes a day.
• Take up a daily yoga class on Youtube (it's free and you can do it in your PJ's at 6am!).
• Get a professional massage at least twice a year.
• Take a daily probiotic. 
• Pet and play with your cat or dog everyday. 
• Read for at least 15 minutes a day - even if it's just a magazine. 

BECAUSE IT'S AWESOME TO DO:

• Meet up with friends for dinner and/or a movie once a fortnight.
• Keep a personal journal - you'll be astonished by how much you'll learn about yourself over 12 months. 
• Cook your own meals.
• Plant a vegetable garden and eat your own produce. 
• Listen to music and make playlists of your favourite songs. 
• Find your signature scent and only wear it on the weekends. 
• Laugh -  at the world and at yourself, don't take anything too seriously. 
• Plan regular escapes from your everyday routines -  these don't need to be big or extravagant. 
• Call your parents regularly. 
• Have integrity, stay good to your word and be reliable. 
• Listen to Podcasts and audiobooks when you're on the go. 
• Incorporate hugge into your home. 
• Learn to accept your body and who you are.
• Be thankful, your life is terrific and being grateful will keep you smiling and on your A game. 

As you get older you realise that the only way to maintain all of the important things in your life and make the most of the time that you have, is to create good habits. Creating good habits takes time and energy, and sometimes money as well depending on what you are wanting to achieve, but if it is a better life that you are seeking, then good habits are what you need to cultivate. However, in order to make room for these good habits, you have to cull some bad habits first. You have to cleanse your life of that which no longer serves you. So let's take a look at what I believe are the top five bad habits that many people have that are holding them back from living better and happier lives. 
1. Wasting Money
Our society is designed to rob you of your hard earned money, don't let that happen. Do not let yourself waste money and time buying things that you don't need or replacing things that you already have that still meet your needs. You do not really need the latest phone, pair of shoes or gym membership to a gym that you have no intention of going to. Make wise choices with your money, consider the options before you purchase anything and always ask yourself 'do I really need this?' before you tap that card. Treat your earnings with respect, you give up a lot of your personal time for them. 
2. Complaining
No one ever became a better person because they could find problems or point out the shit they don't like. Whinging is petty, dull and non-productive. Try to look for solutions to problems and always try to find the positive in everything you encounter, you will not only be more likeable, you'll also waste less time. 
3. People Pleasing
Everyone wants to feel loved and appreciated, but let's be honest, it is impossible to make everyone happy all of the time. So forget what everyone else expects or wants from you and focus on what you want to gain out of life. If spending time with certain people makes you feel ill, then just don't do it. If your boss is killing you with unreasonable demands, then tell them so. Putting personal boundaries in place will not only save you a lot of time and anxiety, but it will more than likely also gain you respect from others. Generally, people do prefer it when others are up front and honest about where their limitations sit and what they will and won't tolerate, so be transparent and don't worry about the haters. 
4. Wasting Time
So many people are shithouse at time management. If procrastination, disorganisation and over sleeping are wasting your life away then you need to get that shit sorted ASAP! Learn to be disciplined about how you spend your time and how much time you will allow yourself to waste doing mundane and unproductive things like checking social media, watching TV or surfing the internet. Leave work at work and focus efficient systems and earlier morning alarms to get the most out your time. 
5. Eating Poorly
Skipping breakfast, eating on the run and settling on toast for dinner is no way to treat your body. Your body has to last you a very long time, and if you continue to stick insufficient and low value crap into it, it is going to fail you. Three nutritionally balanced meals a day are vital to your overall well being, and you deserve nothing short of that. Where you can, eat communally because shared meals create conversation which is also great for you and try to prepare most of your food yourself. Shop for your own food, care about the quality of the food that you eat and find out where it has come from and where it was sourced. Food and water are a privilege and you should value them highly and respect your body by feeding it regularly with quality products, in turn your body will thank you by looking better, being stronger and giving you more energy to exercise and soldier on if you do happen to fall ill. 

Okay so, in my mind those are the top 5 nasty habits that hold people back from having more good habits and rituals in their lives. If you can get those 5 bad habits sorted out then you can incorporate more of the good stuff into your life and begin to live a more abundant and fulfilling lifestyle. But more on that next time.....

I love going to the movies or sitting down to watch a film and finding a hidden gem. Sometimes I get the most delightfully unexpected surprise from a movie that I wasn't expecting it from, and I just love it when that happens, it really spins my tyres! And it really doesn't happen as often as I would like, a lot of the time when I leave a cinema or get off the couch after a movie I am left with a rather underwhelmed kind of a feeling or even worse, I start to contemplate the hours that I just wasted and will never get back again!
Life is way too short to waste reading bad books, watching poor movies and wasting your precious and valuable free time having mediocre experiences. Especially cinematic ones, after all that's why you have me! I've already found heaps of hidden gems for you, so you can just relax and enjoy the movies that I consider to be the best (and unmissable) hidden gems that you may have accidentally missed or overlooked.
Now, don't feel bad about it, people actually miss a lot of top quality viewing experiences all of the time because smaller and independent movies just get squashed by blockbuster movies, and most people just aren't going to the movies to see small budget or independent films. They also aren't going to the cinema half as much as I am either I would imagine, so it's more than likely that you've missed some of these rippers along the way, not through any fault of your own, but just from a lack of exposure; but never fear....I've got your back!
In no particular order (and remember that my full reviews of these films are on their genre lists if you want more information), here are my top 20 picks for hidden gem movies that you may have missed: 

1. The One I Love (Romance) 
2. Don Jon (Drama)
3. The Cabin in the Woods (Horror)
4. The Only Lovers Left Alive (Art House)
5. Short Term 12 (Drama)
6. A Ghost Story (Art House)
7. Wind River (Drama)
8. Once (Foreign/Romance)
9. Calvary (Art House/Foreign)
10. Moon (sci-fi)
11. Ingrid Goes West (Drama)
12. Son of Rambow (Comedy)
13. Sightseers (Foreign) 
14. In the Mood for Love (Foreign)
15. Young Adult (Drama)
16. Beautiful Boy (Drama)
17. Me and Earl and the Dying Girl (Drama)
18. Youth (Drama)
19. The Fall (Fantasy)
20. The Grand Seduction (Comedy)

I have only been back at work for two days and I have already found my number one hidden gem movie of the year! How good is that? And when you are as movie obsessed as I am and constantly thirsting for quality entertainment, then that is something to get happy about!