On top of watching way too many movies, I also watch an awful lot of television. And just like movies, I like to watch all kinds of genres of television as well. And yes, of course I have to wade through a lot of crappy TV viewings in my pursuit of quality. I cannot even begin to tell you about the hundreds of unfinished TV series that I have started but never actually got around to finishing because they just weren't good enough to hold my attention.
I am just as fussy about what I watch on television as I am when it comes to movies and that's mainly because I have to be discerning. Just one season of television can require anywhere from 8 to 24 hours to get through, so if I am going to invest in something then it had better be worth the effort.  
Fortunately, there are TV series that are so good that they can hold my interest for more than just one season, for many of them in fact, for years and years, and they are the ones that I seriously lament when they end. In short,  they are unmissable TV experiences. I'm talking about the kinds of TV series that I find myself talking about for years after I have watched them, and I have been fortunate enough to see quite a few absolutely brilliant television series that I would consider to be absolutely unmissable.  
I have made a list below of the TV series that I consider to be the best viewing experiences (so far). They are listed in no particular order because everything on this list is excellent and worthy of your viewing time. Some of these series are old, but they have stood the test of time and in my opinion, they are still worth hunting down and seeing if you missed them during their glory days. I couldn't even hazard a guess at how many hours it would take to get through this lists...hundreds, maybe thousands I would imagine, but I assure you that I did have hundreds of joyous hours watching them all when I saw them. 
I hope that you find something new to watch from my recommendations, happy viewing!

I am absolutely terrified by the possibility of being eaten alive. Of all the really horrible and traumatic ways to die, being eaten alive seems to be the absolute worst way to go in mind. Living in Australia does mean that I will probably never be devoured by a lion or a tiger, or a grizzly bear for that matter, which by the way all hold the same level of absolute fear and terror for me. However, there is a slight risk of being gobbled up at the beach by an enormous sea creature or worst of all, a shark. I am knee trembling, nail biting, shit scared of sharks and the idea of one taking a chunk out of me makes me feel extremely nauseous. 
Now I know that the chances of being eaten alive by a vicious creature are slim, virtually nonexistent if you actually look at the statistics, but like all really tremendously crappy ways to die, we understand that the chances are slim but we just don't want that to be the way that we go out in the end. Everyone has dreamy visions of peacefully going to sleep in their old age and passing away mid dream cycle, but did you know that only 1 out of every 8 of us will actually go out that way? So what happens to the other 7 out of 8 of us then? Not bloody eaten alive I would hope! 
Well, I did a bit of digging, not just to alleviate my concerns around an animal consuming me alive, but to also discover what I really am most likely to die of and these are the top ten most likely ways to die in our modern times: 

1. Heart Disease
2. Cancer
3. Chronic Lower Respiratory Diseases
4. Accident (mostly falls, transport accidents or poisoning) 
5. Stroke
6. Alzheimer's Disease
7. Diabetes
8. Influenza or Pneumonia
9. Kidney Disease
10. Suicide

Now if you have a good look at that list, it is most certainly going to kick up your efforts around taking care of yourself because a vast majority of those reasons for death are health related, and many of them are preventable health related issues as well. Which, although disturbing, is also really hopeful because we can use that knowledge to our best advantage and make lifestyle choices that will prevent us from dying of chronic health diseases and disorders. In short, we do have the power to avoid becoming one of the 7 others that don't die in our sleep.  
However, on a really obscure note, there is also a list online of the most unusual ways to die, and I'm not sure that I would necessarily want to go out in any of these ways either, but the list does offer some very entertaining reading.
Here are some 'odd ways' to die that are so weird and amusing that they do deserve to be talked about: 

• An Athenian lawmaker was smothered to death by gifts of cloaks and hats that appreciative citizens threw over him.
• In 455 BC Valerius Maximus was killed by a tortoise that was dropped on him by an eagle. 
• Agathocles, a Greek tyrant was murdered with a poisonous toothpick.
• Louis III, King of West Francis died after hitting his head on the lintel of a low door frame. 
• Crown Prince Philippe of France died when his horse tripped over a black pig running out of a dung pile in the Parisian streets. 
• Hans Staininger died of a broken neck after he tripped over his own beard in Austria in 1567. 
• William Snyder died when a circus clown swung him around by his heels in 1854.
• Henry Taylor tripped when carrying a coffin and was crushed to death by it in 1872. 
• 21 people died in 1919 when a large molasses storage tanker burst and drowned them. 
• Sherwood Anderson, an American writer died after accidentally swallowing a toothpick that infected his gastrointestinal tract. 
• Basil Brown, a health food advocate consumed 70 million units of Vitamin A and around 10 gallons of carrot juice in 10 days and died with bright yellow skin. 
• Dick Wertheim, a tennis linesman died after being struck in the groin with a tennis ball and fell out of his chair onto the hard court face down. 
• A 75 year old woman was killed by a poodle that fell from a window on the 13th floor in 1988. 
• An entire soccer team of 11 were fatally killed by lightning whilst playing in the Democratic Republic of Congo - unbelievably the other team were unharmed. 
• Robert Williams, a worker at the Ford Motor plant was the first person to be killed by a robot when the arm of a factory robot fell on his head! Rise of the machines right there I tell you, it all starts with a simple knock to the head by a rogue arm and then next thing...well you know how it goes! 

THE TERMINATOR 1 & 2 (JUDGMENT DAY)
Release Dates: 1984 and 1991
Rating: MA 15+
Running Times: 107 mins and 137 mins 
There's no point denying it, these two movies are great, they link together seamlessly, and tell a foreboding tale about a terrifying future where the machines rule the earth. Directed and written by James Cameron, and aside from his Aliens offering, this is really the best thing that he has ever done in my opinion; and it is also the best thing that Arnold Schwarzenegger has undertaken as well. 
The first instalment focuses on a humanoid cyborg known as a Terminator (Schwarzenegger) that has been sent back in time from 2029, to exterminate a waitress named Sarah Connor (Linda Hamilton). Unbeknownst to Sarah, in the future she will give birth to John Connor, a man that will lead a revolution against the oppressive machines. 
The second instalment focuses again on a humanoid cyborg that has been re-programmed to now protect the teenage John Connor (Edward Furlong) from a newer and more sinister model of Terminator that is still seeking to kill him. 
What you are going to get here is an action-packed science fiction experience, with loads of guns, explosions and robotic effects. The first movie actually boasted some pretty cutting edge effects for its time, and the second even won an Academy Award for Best Visual Effects, so these films have been executed really well and obviously had hefty budgets. Schwarzenegger was a perfect choice for the role of the Terminator, he just has to look menacing and say very little - apart from highly quotable one liners, a role clearly designed for him to execute perfectly. For high-paced sci-fi, these have got it in buckets and with the added bonus of a tight and interesting story line, what's not to like?
FINAL SAY: I'll be back! 
3.5 Chilli Peppers
NOTE: None of the later instalments (and there have been far too many) are worthy of your time or effort, see these first two and then leave it at that. ​

Bananarama and Fun Boy Three had a not so great but deadly catchy song in the eighties called 'It Aint What You Do' and it was all about how it wasn't what you did that mattered, but how you did it that got results. And for some unknown reason, every time that I have to enter into a difficult conversation with someone I always think about that song, but in my mind it goes more like 'it ain't what you say, it's the way that you say it - and that's what gets results.'
Even though we were all raised to have good manners and abide by the 'if you can't say anything nice then you shouldn't say anything at all' rule, all of us also know that sometimes, whether we really want to or not, we have to enter into very difficult and sometimes extremely inconvenient conversations with people that may be seen as unwanted or unwelcome.
And that's where diplomacy kicks in, and you have to employ a gentle hand and not let your mouth shoot from the hip, hence 'it ain't what you say...it's the way that you say it.' And I find that you can say just about anything if you say it in the right way; and as long as you can remain sensitive to the other person's feelings whilst you're saying it, then you can usually get across an unwanted message without too many tears or tantrums. Mary Poppins was totally right, a spoonful of sugar really does help the medicine go down and sometimes that extra dip of honey can make any difficult topic a little more palatable. 
Nobody likes receiving a jagged little pill of truth, I know that I never enjoy the taste of my own poison, but god knows that sometimes I have needed people to be straight shooters with me and just tell me how it is. I have however, always appreciated it when negative or unpleasant news has been delivered to me with a sugar coating or at the very least an awareness attached to it that I can be a ridiculously sensitive creature and that things don't always roll off my back as easily as water off a ducks, and sometimes when people are short or curt with me, I can't stomach it.
I have always appreciated those that have offered me a gentle delivery, and over time it has helped me to employ a much gentler hand myself when dealing with difficult or unpleasant conversations or people. I'm not perfect at it yet, but I am gradually getting better at putting the emotions of others first whenever I have to enter into 'awkward truth' territory. I have found that by putting myself into another person's emotional reality, I can really harness my empathy and get 'on the level' during these tricky exchanges. 
It is not okay to allow the people that you care about to act poorly or to treat you or others badly, it's actually quite neglectful to allow people that you care about to behave like assholes and go unchecked, but it is also extremely important to understand that these things do happen for a reason. People that are mean or insensitive are often the ones that are hurting the most, and I know this to be true becasue I usually only lash out when my personal pain is at its highest, which of course is not okay and sometimes I need to be gently reminded that it's not okay to wipe my bloodied palms all over others just because I fell over. 
Even a tiger can be tamed with the right amount of attention and affection, and the same goes for everything and everyone else. You can have awkward conversations and engage with difficult people, but you do have to be willing to hear their pain and be open to offering compassion when you do. It's true, it's not what you do, it's the way that you do it....it's not what you say, it's the way that you say it...and that's what gets results. Who knew that such sage advice would ever spring from the lyrics of Bananarama and Fun Boy Three? Turns out that zen messages can come from places that you would never really expect them to!

My regular readers all know that I do not have or subscribe to any social media accounts or platforms. That's right world, believe it or not you won't find me on Facebook or Snapchat or any other form of social media under the name of Spicywatch or any other name for that matter because I don't have any accounts. Thankfully for the rest of the world, you can only find me on my own blog ranting on like a lunatic, so you're all welcome. 
There are actually a few reasons for this, first and foremostly it is because I already have too many things going on in my life at once and cannot afford the distraction that social media provides. I would literally have to 'Multiplicity' myself to be able to manage checking in with social media at this point. So, with all due respect to my friends and family, I have to be honest and say that my primary reason for not joining any social media platforms is because I am not all that interested in seeing what everyone else is up to because I  have enough of my own shit going on, thanks (and sorry). 
Secondly, there are people that I would prefer not to have contact with and that I would prefer not to be nosing around in my stuff as well, so posting images of my life and updates about my everyday 'goings on' seems pretty counterproductive to that, so I prefer to just fly under the radar as Spicywatch and keep my personal pics to myself.
And lastly, after seeing the movie The Social Network, I was so put off by the crappy and unpleasant people behind certain social media platforms that I made a choice to not be involved in their shenanigans or boost their clientele. So I have just never signed on for an account. And guess what? I have survived just fine without any and I do not feel like I am out of the loop or missing out on anything.  In truth, I actually spend more meaningful time with people now than I ever have before in my life, so you really don't need social media to feel like you are in touch, but I can also appreciate that some people may feel differently about that. 
However, for all of my anti-social media chatter, I do have to admit to having one social media app account that I am pretty obsessed with and that is Pinterest. Hello! It's visual and if there is one thing that I am obsessed with, it has to be visual input. My Spicywatch Pinterest page is where I pin all of my visual thoughts. I have a folder for food, clothes, books, art, photography, animals, fantasy, longings, quotes, yoga and of course movies, to name a few. Pretty much everything that I am obsessed with is there in picture form on my Pinterest account, and I add to it regularly.
And yes, of course I follow other boards and  have my favourite Pinterest accounts that I feed off regularly as well. So, yes I admit it, I do have a social media obsession in Pinterest, but I promise that I am only there for the images and not for the chatter or gossip, of which there is virtually zero anyway. 
However, it would be very unfair of me to hype up my obsession and not share my goodies with you, so here is a list of my fave Pinterest pages for you to check out for yourself.
INAG - Art and contemporary imagery. I pin regularly from this gem. 
Colossal- Art, design and visual culture - obsessed! 
Three Rivers Deep - based on the fantasy books, this page is full of fantastical interludes and gorgeous otherworldly images. 
Janine - Gorgeous, dark, melancholic and inspirationally stylised boards that draw you in. 
Lobster & Swan - This page looks so damn good you just want to climb into it. Perfect food, perfect landscapes and a whimsical beauty that makes it hard to stop looking.
Anima Mundi Herbals - Elixirs, tonics and superherbs. A visual treasure of botanical wellness. 
Finkiyaya - This pinner should be a stand up comedian. Their two boards Nana was a Naughty Girl and Nana Had a Naughty Daughter are so funny, I literally laugh out loud everytime that I look at them. You have to scroll through the pins individually and read the comments to really get the joke. 
Bleaq - Gothic, artistic, dark and melancholic - what's not to love? 
Ari B - A good mix of many things, especially great photography. 
The Jealous Curator - Art inspiration and innovation out the wazoo. I pin from this page regularly. 
Butter and Brioche - So yummy! Warning, you'll get hungry looking at this deliciousness!
Deviantart - Fantasy, gothic, science fiction and horror art at its best. 
Sara Barnes / Brown Paper Bag - A celebration of illustration and handmade arts and crafts. 
The Witch & Walnut - All things witchy in abundance, from fashion to basic spellcrafting it's all here. 

God knows that I love to have the last word, probably to my own detriment most of the time. Every time that I hear Annie Lennox singing that song 'Why?' when she reaches that line 'I tell myself too many times why don't you ever learn to keep your big mouth shut?' I shudder as it stings me with its complete accuracy. Yep, sometimes I know that I say far more than what is necessary. In fact I'm pretty sure that if I have any guiding spirits, that they would probably be face palming themselves behind my back regularly. It's true; I do have to own that in the heat of the moment I have been known to throw out some pretty unnecessary words and I'm not going to pretend that I am proud of that because I am not. Losing your shit and saying more than what is necessary is never a good thing and only an idiot would ever defend that kind of behaviour. 
It really is a massive problem having a big gob like I do and saying too much, and the worst part of all is that you can't take any of it back. Words can never be unsaid, rewound, unravelled or removed once they have been spoken, and sometimes the fallout of their impact can never be undone either. I have learnt over the years that it is far better to just say nothing at all than to say something mean, unkind or inappropriate. 
And it was in the spirit of last words that I started pondering about what I would say if I knew that it was the very last thing that I  would ever say in my lifetime. And before you start thinking that I have too much time on my hands (which I clearly do) it turns out that a lot of other people have thought about this as well because there is a huge list of famous people's last words on the internet (if you can believe that they are really true that is). Mind you some of them aren't actually the person's last words, they're just the last thing that they were ever heard saying, so their real last words were probably something more like 'Oh fuck I'm actually dying!' and we would never really know. Nevertheless here are a couple of rippers that I really enjoyed reading:

• Frank Sinatra - I'm losing it. 
• Margaret Sanger (Birth Control advocate) - A party, let's have a party!
• Nostradamus - Tomorrow, at sunrise, I shall no longer be here. 
• Leonardo da Vinci - I have offended god and mankind because my work did not reach the quality it should have.
• Richard Feynman - This dying is boring. 
• Sir Arthur Conan Doyle - (to his wife)  You are wonderful.
• Michael Landon - You're right, its time. I love you all.
• Eugene O'Neill - I knew it! I knew it! Born in a hotel room and goddamnit, dying in a hotel room.
• Jack Soo - It must've been the coffee. 
• Groucho Marx - This is no way to live. 
• Emily Dickinson - I must go in, for the fog is rising. 
• James Brown - I'm going away tonight.
• Steve Jobs - Oh wow. Oh wow. Oh wow. 

In all seriousness though, it is absolutely impossible to determine what your own last words might be, because who knows how you'll go in the end? I would imagine that what you would say on your deathbed surrounded by loved ones would be quite different to what you might say if you were mowed down in the street by a bus. However, I would hope that my last words were something more like 'oh it's even more wonderful than I could've imagined' and a lot less like  'oh so that's what Satan looks like.'
However, the chances of actually formulating something exceptional, memorable or poignant on your deathbed are honestly extremely unlikely, so my best advice is that if you've got something really important to say then I think that you owe it to world to say it well before the day that you actually leave. As long as it's nice!  Just saying!

I think that everyone would like to think that they are leading a meaningful life, but in truth a lot of people actually appear to spend their entire lives in various states of dissatisfaction. From conversations that I have had with various people about their quality of life and from the articles, books and information that I have read, it seems to me that regardless of the fact that most of the people in question are living reasonably wealthy and social lifestyles, many of them are still feel like they are lacking purpose, fulfillment and direction in their lives. So what is happening here? Why are people feeling this level of meaninglessness when they already have everything that they could ever need?  
The answer to this is really very simple. People that feel like their lives are meaningless are usually failing to recognise what matters, and instead of appreciating and focusing on what they have, they spend most of their time focusing on what they believe to be missing from their current reality. This kind of thinking draws a person away from an appreciation mindset and leads them into thinking that they are going without, thus leading them into a state of dissatisfaction or meaninglessness. 
What constitutes a meaningful life has been a topic that philosophers have argued for centuries. The 19th century philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche said that the question itself is meaningless because in the midst of living, we're in no position to discern whether our lives matter, and stepping outside of the process of existence to answer is impossible. Other god- centred philosophers believe that only a deity can provide purpose and meaning to life. Naturalists philosophers would argue that there is no absolute truth when discussing value around life meaning because one person may say that creativity is the answer, and another may say virtue; and in truth they could both be correct. And subjective philosophers believe that the value of a life's meaningfulness is made up only by our minds and therefore is subject to change at any moment. 
And for some people these truths are the way that they find meaning in their lives. In fact none of these theories are incorrect, because they would all still fit into the theory that life's meaning can be found by refocusing your mindset upon the things in your life that you already have and seeing them as meaningful aspects. For some people that could be their relationship to a deity or God, for some it may be their creativity or virtuosity and for others it could be a sliding scale of elements that are continuously altered by life experiences like the people we meet, the places we go and the new ideas and concepts that we engage in. As long as you are focused on those things as meaningful and not continuously looking at what is missing from your current existence them you can and will feel like you are living a meaningful life. 
Sure, it seems pretty simplistic and that's because it is. If you can condition yourself to look at all of the things that already exist in your life then you can most definitely become empowered by that thinking. By removing habits of comparison, jealousy, longing, searching and escaping from your life and replacing them with habits of gratitude, appreciation, awareness, fulfilment and self focus, you can drastically increase your ability to recognise that you are already living a very meaningful life right at this moment. Yes, you are living a very meaningful life right at this moment; wherever you are, whoever you are and whatever you are doing, your life has meaning and purpose.
So, in conclusion and in answer to my opening question, what is a meaningful life? I believe that the answer is that all life is meaningful, you just have to focus on what you already have. So please, go out and appreciate all that you have right now and enjoy your beautiful and meaningful life!

FRANCES HA
Release Date: 2012
Rating: MA 15+
Running: 86 mins
You aren't going to really like anyone all that much in this movie. You aren't going to be blown away with a rich and intriguing story line. And you aren't going to be changed emotionally by seeing this movie; and that is because this film is not setting out to do those things. 
Frances Ha is a movie about the unbearable lightness of being, about everyday people - most of whom are pretty annoying and self involved. It's about the shitty everyday stuff that happens, mostly of little consequence and mostly in transition, but completely unavoidable in life and also part of the rich tapestry that gives life real meaning. 
We follow Frances (Greta Gerwig) as she flows through relationships, friendships, employment and homelessness as she tries to establish a career and a life for herself in New York as a dancer. Frances is impulsive, honest and dreamy in her approach to life and her story offers a fresh perspective on the nothingness that is living. 
Shot in a broody black and white and sensitively directed by Noah Baumbach, I think a lot of people will sadly overlook this film which would be a damn shame because it's message is so unique.
FINAL SAY: I like things that look like mistakes. 
3 Chilli peppers ​

The 92nd Academy Awards aired on Monday and of course I was glued to the television for the duration. I love all of the glitz and glamour and particularly enjoyed the brilliant opening routine which gave homage to some of the excellent movies of 2019 that didn't make the final nomination cut like Us, Midsommar, Queen and Slim and Dolemite is My Name. 
I cannot express my joy at seeing the floral 'Midsommar' dress on Janelle Monae as she declared "Tonight, we celebrate all the amazing talent in this room. We celebrate all of the women who directed phenomenal films and I'm so proud to stand here as a black queer artist, telling stories. Happy Black History Month." 
And what a wonderful night it was all around with Parasite smashing it out of the park with four Oscar wins, including Best Picture, Director, Original Screenplay and Best International Feature Film. Turns out that when the South Koreans arrive at the Academy Awards, they mop the floors with their opponents. And good for them, Parasite was easily one of the best movies of 2019, and I for one have been advocating for more foreign film appreciation for decades, so it's about time really.
Now we just need another female to win a Best Director Oscar because that hasn't happened since Kathryn Bigelow broke the mould and won one in 2010 for The Hurt Locker, and it's been a mighty dry category for females ever since as well; here's hoping 2020 will change all that again. 
However, enough of my own agenda, let's just get onto the very worthy Oscar winners for 2019, my congratulations and sincere appreciation to you all!
Best Picture:
“Parasite”
Lead Actor:
Joaquin Phoenix, “Joker”
Lead Actress:
Renee Zellweger, “Judy”
Supporting Actor:
Brad Pitt, “Once Upon a Time in Hollywood”
Supporting Actress:
Laura Dern, “Marriage Story”
Director:
Bong Joon Ho, “Parasite”
Animated Feature:
“Toy Story 4,”  Josh Cooley
Animated Short:
“Hair Love,” Matthew A. Cherry
Adapted Screenplay:
“Jojo Rabbit,” Taika Waititi
Original Screenplay:
“Parasite,” Bong Joon-ho, Jin Won Han
Cinematography:
“1917,” Roger Deakins
Best Documentary Feature:
“American Factory,” Julia Riechert, Steven Bognar
Best Documentary Short Subject:
“Learning to Skateboard in a Warzone,” Carol Dysinger
Best Live Action Short Film:
“The Neighbors’ Window,” Marshall Curry
Best International Feature Film:
“Parasite,” Bong Joon Ho
Film Editing:
“Ford v Ferrari,” Michael McCusker, Andrew Buckland
Sound Editing:
“Ford v Ferrari,” Don Sylvester
Sound Mixing:
“1917” Stuart Wilson
Production Design:
“Once Upon a Time in Hollywood,” Barbara Ling and Nancy Haigh
Original Score:
“Joker,” Hildur Guðnadóttir
Original Song:
“I’m Gonna Love Me Again,” “Rocketman”
Makeup and Hair:
“Bombshell” Kazuhiro Tsuji
Costume Design:
“Little Women,” Jacqueline Durran
Visual Effects:
“1917” Guillaume Rocheron, Dominic Tuchy, Greg Butler.

When I was a teenager, the worst kinds of drugs that my peers were getting into were things like marijuana, hashish and maybe a few magic mushrooms (if you were lucky enough to know which ones were actually safe to ingest without dying). Now, I don't want anyone to think that I am condoning the taking of illicit drugs, because I don't, but from what I could glean from it all, the biggest consequence of taking any of the aforementioned drugs in your teens in my time was spending an entire weekend listening to back to back Pink Floyd albums and eating all of the packaged snack foods out of your parent's pantry.  
Occasionally you'd hear about older teens experimenting with speed or rohypnol, but in the circles that I ran in, things weren't really getting that heavy and we all just naively believed that it was only the 'kids that ran on the wrong side of the tracks' that were getting into the 'heavier' stuff anyway. 
I do still believe that most of the teenagers that were hanging out in my neighbourhood were actually just happy to experiment with alcohol and nicotine in the 80's and early 90's, although some of the really edgy kids that I knew were dropping acid tabs and going on psyc anthropic trips into other realms on the weekends, but no-one seemed to be experimenting with anything heavier than that.
When I was younger I was so uneducated about drugs that I actually thought that highly addictive drugs like heroin, cocaine or smack were reserved only for 'serious' drug addicts.  I thought that only people that were much older than me would even be able to afford or score drugs of that calibre and I suppose that kind of thinking allowed me to keep highly addictive drugs at a safe distance in some inaccessible realm that I would never need to enter. However in truth, those drugs were actually far closer than I realised at the time and the menu of drug choices was far more substantial than I had ever perceived it to be as well.
Today, teenagers are exposed to the risk of addiction from many more substances than I was ever exposed to, and even though alcohol and marijuana have been cited as the most commonly used drugs across the past four generations, what we are now seeing is a terrifying rise in young people using crystal meth (aka ice), synthetic drugs and (believe it or not) over the counter pain medications. However, what we also need to take into account is the fact that our teenagers are now far more educated and aware than they have ever been before and that kind of awareness is valuable and powerful, especially when we are talking about voluntary drug use. In fact, statistics show that it is not our young people that are at the biggest risk of having serious drug addictions anymore; the real truth about modern drug addiction is actually quite different than what you might have thought that would be. 
Due to the their wide range of health issues, social exclusion and isolation issues,  it is actually the elderly (64 to 86 years) who have the largest number of people that are abusing illicit substances these days. And perhaps just as equally shocking is the 11% of women over 50 years that are currently addicted to prescription medications. Which means that there are actually drug pushers sitting at our community clinics disguised as health care providers! We know this because the biggest rise in drug addiction in the last decade has occurred due to the drugs and medications that doctors are over-prescribing. Turns out that some of our friendly local GP's are now some of the most prolific drug peddlers in town, addicting more and more people to prescription drugs every year and doing it all legally as well!
After a little digging I found a list of the most commonly abused drugs and it's really no surprise that it looked like this: barbiturates, benzodiazepines, sleep medications, codeine, morphine, oxycontin, percocet, vicodin, amphetamines, methylphenidates (ritalin) and DMX. All of them prescription drugs.
However, the five most addictive drugs are: heroin, cocaine, nicotine, barbiturates and alcohol. And even though marijuana is the most abused drug worldwide with approximately 27.1 million users, it is not known as a highly addictive drug and is widely considered to be the safest recreational drug, however it is known as a gateway drug that can lead to other serious substance addictions, like Twisties, Cheezels and Doritos.
Sorry, I couldn't resist, but in reality drug abuse and drug addiction is certainly no laughing matter, and whether you've dabbled yourself, still partake or just have a curious mind about it all, always remember that all drugs, even something as innocuous as caffeine, come at a price to your overall health and wellbeing. So when it comes to the question 'to drug or not to drug?' I always try not to drug as much as possible, but I still can't resist a good whiskey on a Saturday night, and even though I don't ever want to seem flippant about alcohol abuse, I do believe that it hardly puts me into the Trainspotting stakes of addiction does it? 

One thing that you really miss about being on holidays is being able to dictate when you will sleep. I freely admit that I was regularly indulging in the odd siesta over the summer holidays and was often staying up very late and sleeping in until all kinds of unprofessional hours, but hey that's what the holidays are for! However, now that I am back at work  and once again a slave to the clock, it has occurred to me that in order to fulfil my hectic and busy lifestyle choices that something has to give, and for me the first thing to be sacrificed is my sleep. 
Sleep could be seen as a very silly thing to sacrifice, or a very smart one depending on who you are. And I suppose that the most obvious question that gets raised when someone starts to toy with cutting back on their sleep is just how much sleep do you actually need to survive? Notice that I said survive there and not thrive? Well, I suppose what I really mean is how much sleep do we need to still be considered high functioning? And the results of my research may surprise you.
In general, the average adult requires between 7 to 9 hours of sleep per night; however (and this is a pretty big however), everyone actually requires a different amount depending on their individual genetic makeup. And furthermore, you can actually condition your body to function well on as little as 5 hours sleep per night. Yes, really, 5 hours of sleep a night and the secret to doing this lies not in the hours of sleep that you get, but in the quality of sleep that you are getting during those 5 hours of sleep. 
When assessed, it was found that people who can thrive on 5 or 6 hours of sleep and still feel bright and ready to face the day are generally getting very high quality sleep when they are sleeping. They spend less time tossing and turning, more time in REM sleep when they are out and are generally able to relax on a whim if required to do so. For example, these people would be able to drop into a deep meditation mode easily or engage in reading a book in very noisy situations. However, let's be very real about this, being able to go without sleep and survive on only 5 hours of rest every day is a superhuman feat and before you commit to cutting your sleep down to radically small amounts it is also worth considering the side effects of having too little quality sleep in your life. 
Apart from constantly feeling like a crap sandwich, a lack of sleep has also been linked to obesity, heart disease, stroke and high blood pressure, none of which are very alluring at all are they? And there are also some significant signs that you're not getting enough quality sleep that you can keep an eye out for like feeling moody or depressed, getting dizzy, suffering from breakouts and illnesses, having dark rings around your eyes, gaining weight, craving junk food, drinking more caffeine and forgetfulness.  
Experts say that if you take more than 30 minutes to get sleep at night and always feel tired when you wake up then you are more than likely depriving your body of quality sleep. And it is also worth noting that the hormones in your body that control hunger and stress are also regulated by sleep, so odds are that if you're not sleeping enough you're going to be stressing out a lot and generally eating too much.
Everyone knows that sleep deprivation is an incredibly effective and insidious form of torture that attacks your deep biological functions and will eventually cause irreparable mental and physical health complications over time if continued; so do I recommend cutting your sleep back to fit more into your life? Well no, at least not for anyone else...but for me in the interim, I feel reasonably confident that the 6 to 6.5 hours of sleep that I allow myself to have each night is sustaining me just fine. However, I could have already wrecked my brain by now and have absolutely no idea what the hell I am saying, so please don't take my word for it! Go and experiment on yourself and your own sleep patterns to work out what your 'golden and ideal' amount of sleep hours is- you'll definitely have a perfect point, that much I do know for sure, but only you will be able to determine where that is.
In the meantime, make sure that you consider Dr Michael Breus' (from thesleepdoctor.com) recommendations for the perfect bedtime ritual to get more bang for your buck when you are asleep - and sweet dreams everyone!
1. Clean yourself -eg, take a shower, or at least wash your face, brush your teeth, floss and put on clean PJ's.
2. Keep your linen fresh and clean and where possible allow fresh air to circulate your room. 
3. Avoid eating for at least an hour before sleep. 
4. Commit to the same bedtime each night so that you establish a routine.
5. Drink a warm non-caffeinated beverage.
6. Turn off screens at least one hour before retiring.
7. Meditate.
8. Ensure that you have a dark quiet room or use eye shades and ear plugs. 
9. Practise deep breathing and stretching before getting into bed. 
10. Don't fight the sleep, if you're wrestling your sheets or tossing about, get up and make a warm drink and restart your ritual again. Remember that 2 hours of restful sleep is better than 4 hours of restlessness. 

I have in other posts mentioned how I hate it when a movie franchise capitalises on the success of earlier films and starts to roll out endless sequels that are just absolute shit and not a scrap on the original in any way, and look this does happen quite a lot. However, I don't want to tell you about all of the times that Hollywood wasted my time with shithouse sequels, why would I do that when I can tell you about all of the times when they actually got it completely right?
I would much prefer to talk about all of the times that a sequel or trilogy produced something that was just as good as the original - and dare I say it, sometimes even better! Yes, it is true, that some sequels and sometimes trilogies (and even beyond; which is rare but has happened) can be just as good, if not better than, their predecessor offerings. And I have to say that I get mighty excited when things like this happen.
Whenever I enter the cinema to watch a second coming I never, not ever, expect for it to be great. So you can imagine my surprise and delight when they get the formula right and deliver something fabulous all over again. Impossible you say? I think not, check out these incredible feats of cinematic trilogy and sequel genius -no seriously, you should really check them out, they're actually all very good movies!
TERRIFIC TRILOGIES:

• The Godfather: Arguably the best movie trilogy that has ever been made and certainly one of the best that I've ever seen.
• Toy Story: All four of them are great, all four of them! This is so rare that it is literally unheard of. If you've somehow missed these, see them immediately. 
• Lord Of The Rings (Trilogy): I've said it a thousand times, these three movies are epic. All Hale King Jackson! 
• The Hobbit(Trilogy): More Jackson gold, not as good as LOTR, but still epic.
• John Wick: There have been three of these so far, and they just keep getting better and better, and Keanu gets sexier and sexier as well - bonus!
• The Indiana Jones trilogy: Yeah I know that there were four of them, but the first three were the best and you know it too!
• Before Midnight: The final film in the trilogy, with the first two being Before Sunrise and Before Sunset. These are some of the best and most realistic romance films ever made, and each installment gets more involved. 
• Three Colours: Blue, Red and White: These fabulous french/polish language films are loosely based on the three political ideals in the motto of the French republic: liberty, equality, fraternity, and they're all excellent. 

STUNNING SEQUELS: 

• Terminator 2: Judgement Day: The first one was great, but the second one was bad ass, CGI effects heaven in 1991. 
• Aliens: Yep, loved the original Alien with all of my heart, but kick ass Ripley saving the day in Aliens was so damn good!
• Blade Runner 2049: So good, and in my opinion better than the original in storyline. 
• Paddington 2: Probably the best sequel of 2017, it was just so damn adorable!
• The Dark Knight: Heath Ledger's performance elevated the Batman movies to new and great heights- amazing!
• Thor: Ragnarok: Funnier, faster and way more enjoyable than any of the other Thor films. 
• Logan: The Wolverine franchise swan song was so, so good - it made my best of 2017 film list because it's really intelligent and deeply moving.
• Insidious 2: A perfect follow up to the very creepy first offering, some consistently excellent horror film making here. 
• Deadpool 2 - I love the Deadpool movies, they are so naughty and tongue in cheek, they're winners all round for me.
• Creep 2 - More Mark Duplass weirdness! Creep 2 is a really good and consistent follow on to the first Creep film. 
• Kill Bill Vol 2 - Every bit as good as Kill Bill vol 1, I actually liked the second instalment more than the first, but I know that many would argue this with me. 
• Hellboy 2 - The Golden Army: Even better than the first Hellboy, loads more fantastic creatures and heaps of action packed fun. 
• Manon Des Sources: The second installment of the French language movie Jean De Florette is unforgettable material that shouldn't be missed. 
• Avengers: Endgame: A perfect ending to an incredible franchise and the best super sequel that has ever been made. Hall of Fame material!
• Mad Max: Fury Road: This modern take on Mad Max was an unmissable fuel injected adrenaline rush and made my best of 2015 list. 
• T2 Trainspotting: A mature and contemplative revisit to the lads twenty years on, very interesting. 
• The Conjuring 2 - The Enfield Haunting: Totally freaked me out, that bloody nun is scary as all shit! Way more scares than the first Conjuring offering. 
• The Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2: Just as good as Vol 1 in every way, just as funny, action packed and entertaining. 
• An Inconvenient Sequel: Truth to Power: If you're still in denial about global warming then watch Al Gore's second offering about the subject and get on board with feeling very uncomfortable and worried about the planet. 
• Zombieland: Double Tap: More hack and slash zombie killing with the old gang, what's not to like? 

I guess that everyone wants to feel like they have lived their life to the full, and the idea of a full life is different for everybody. Does it mean that you need to have an extensive bucket list of tasks to complete in your lifetime? No, of course it doesn't! Some people lead extremely full and rewarding lives without ever attempting to tick off any bucket lists. 
However, with that being said, I did stumble across a 100 THINGS TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE list that has been clearly designed for Australians, and after ticking off 70 of them immediately I was feeling pretty chuffed about just how many fabulous things I have actually done in my lifetime. What a lucky and very spoilt lady I am!
Now, I have to be honest, some of these things are not going to appeal to you at all. In fact some of them really didn't appeal to me at all as I was reading them; damn some of the things that I have ticked off didn't actually appeal to me that much either, but I still did them!
Look at this list as suggestive, rather than exhaustive. There will, without a doubt, be things that you've done on here and there will be things that you will think are outrageously bad ideas. Who knows, you may see something on the list and think to yourself "yeah, I would like to that before I die," in which case I would encourage you to pursue your aspirations. Regardless of how well you score on this list, or how many things you do or don't wish to do before you die, just remember that you don't need to making grand and sweeping gestures, travelling long distances or eating snails in Paris to be living a full and rewarding life, trust me I've done that one and it was revolting!
And if you don't like any of these, then make up your own 'life bucket list' if you're really motivated. I used to know a woman in her late 50's, and every month she and her friends would take turns at ticking something off each other's bucket lists. She found this method of getting out of her comfort zone extremely rewarding and she and her friends were always going off to do some wild and adventurous thing; it was quite inspiring actually. Whatever you chose to do with this list, thrash it or trash it - just remember that it's your life and you've only got one, so make sure you're doing the things that make you happy. 

JOURNEY TO THE WEST: CONQUERING THE DEMONS
Release Date: 2013
Rating: M
Running Time: 110 mins 
A Chinese language, fantasy, comedy film that was co-written, co- directed and produced Stephen Chow. A loose comedic re-interpretation of the famous Chinese literary classic novel Journey to the West, this sweet and silly tale delivers just the right balance of fantasy and action to make it a real winner. 
An aspiring Buddhist monk attempts to protect a fishing village from three vicious demons. His misadventures lead him to team up with an amorous female demon hunter named Miss Duan, and eventually the two must unite to battle the legendary Monkey King. 
When you're combining ancient tales of Chinese mythology with Stephen Chow's zany and original style of storytelling, you know that you just can't go wrong. Journey to the West: Conquering the Demons is left of centre, highly entertaining, fast paced and extremely funny. In short - it's an unmissable Chinese treat, and a perfect viewing choice for a Lunar New Year celebration. 
FINAL SAY: This is straight up bananas!
3.5 Chilli Peppers ​

The Academy Awards (or Oscars) are officially Hollywood's biggest awards 'night of nights.' They serve to award movie makers, directors and actors who have reached a pinnacle of excellence in their careers. To even receive an Oscar nomination is huge deal in Hollywood, and unlike the Golden Globes that celebrate television and film excellence, the Academy Awards are solely focused on recognising achievements of excellence in film.
The categories at the Oscars span much further than acting and directing, and also offer recognition for all of the creative and technical work that goes on behind the scenes when movies are made. From costuming, sound, cinematography, visual effects and cinema shorts, the Academy Awards are the most prestigious and coveted of all of the Hollywood award events, and even though I never miss the Golden Globes, the Screen Actors Guild Awards or the Critics Choice Awards, the Oscars are easily my favourite awards ceremony to watch every year. 
If you should wish to see the Academy Awards ceremony yourself this year, it will be broadcasting live on Channel Seven from 12pm on Monday 10th February, with an encore airing at 7.30pm for those of you who, like myself, will be at work during the day of the ceremony. 
And this year, the Academy Award nominees are as follows:
Best Picture:
“Ford v Ferrari”
“The Irishman”
“Jojo Rabbit”
“Joker”
“Little Women”
“Marriage Story”
“1917”
“Once Upon a Time in Hollywood”
“Parasite”
Lead Actor:
Antonio Banderas, “Pain and Glory”
Leonardo DiCaprio, “Once Upon a Time in Hollywood”
Adam Driver, “Marriage Story”
Joaquin Phoenix, “Joker”
Jonathan Pryce, “The Two Popes”
Lead Actress:
Cynthia Erivo, “Harriet”
Scarlett Johansson, “Marriage Story”
Saoirse Ronan, “Little Women”
Charlize Theron, “Bombshell”
Renee Zellweger, “Judy”
Supporting Actor:
Tom Hanks, “A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood”
Anthony Hopkins, “The Two Popes”
Al Pacino, “The Irishman”
Joe Pesci, “The Irishman”
Brad Pitt, “Once Upon a Time in Hollywood”
Supporting Actress:
Kathy Bates, “Richard Jewell”
Laura Dern, “Marriage Story”
Scarlett Johansson, “Jojo Rabbit”
Florence Pugh, “Little Women”
Margot Robbie, “Bombshell”
Director:
Martin Scorsese, “The Irishman”
Todd Phillips, “Joker”
Sam Mendes, “1917”
Quentin Tarantino, “Once Upon a Time in Hollywood”
Bong Joon Ho, “Parasite”
Animated Feature:
“How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World,” Dean DeBlois
“I Lost My Body,” Jeremy Clapin
“Klaus,” Sergio Pablos
“Missing Link,” Chris Butler
“Toy Story 4,”  Josh Cooley
Animated Short:
“Dcera,” Daria Kashcheeva
“Hair Love,” Matthew A. Cherry
“Kitbull,” Rosana Sullivan
“Memorable,” Bruno Collet
“Sister,” Siqi Song
Adapted Screenplay:
“The Irishman,” Steven Zaillian
“Jojo Rabbit,” Taika Waititi
“Joker,” Todd Phillips, Scott Silver
“Little Women,” Greta Gerwig
“The Two Popes,” Anthony McCarten
Original Screenplay:
“Knives Out,” Rian Johnson
“Marriage Story,” Noah Baumbach
“1917,” Sam Mendes and Krysty Wilson-Cairns
“Once Upon a Time in Hollywood,” Quentin Tarantino
“Parasite,” Bong Joon-ho, Jin Won Han
Cinematography:
“The Irishman,” Rodrigo Prieto
“Joker,” Lawrence Sher
“The Lighthouse,” Jarin Blaschke
“1917,” Roger Deakins
“Once Upon a Time in Hollywood,” Robert Richardson
Best Documentary Feature:
“American Factory,” Julia Rieichert, Steven Bognar
“The Cave,” Feras Fayyad
“The Edge of Democracy,” Petra Costa
“For Sama,” Waad Al-Kateab, Edward Watts
“Honeyland,” Tamara Kotevska, Ljubo Stefanov
Best Documentary Short Subject:
“In the Absence,” Yi Seung-Jun and Gary Byung-Seok Kam
“Learning to Skateboard in a Warzone,” Carol Dysinger
“Life Overtakes Me,” Kristine Samuelson and John Haptas
“St. Louis Superman,” Smriti Mundhra and Sami Khan
“Walk Run Cha-Cha,” Laura Nix
Best Live Action Short Film:
“Brotherhood,” Meryam Joobeur
“Nefta Football Club,” Yves Piat
“The Neighbors’ Window,” Marshall Curry
“Saria,” Bryan Buckley
“A Sister,” Delphine Girard
Best International Feature Film:
“Corpus Christi,” Jan Komasa
“Honeyland,” Tamara Kotevska, Ljubo Stefanov
“Les Miserables,” Ladj Ly
“Pain and Glory,” Pedro Almodovar
“Parasite,” Bong Joon Ho
Film Editing:
“Ford v Ferrari,” Michael McCusker, Andrew Buckland
“The Irishman,” Thelma Schoonmaker
“Jojo Rabbit,” Tom Eagles
“Joker,” Jeff Groth
“Parasite,” Jinmo Yang
Sound Editing:
“Ford v Ferrari,” Don Sylvester
“Joker,” Alan Robert Murray
“1917,” Oliver Tarney, Rachel Tate
“Once Upon a Time in Hollywood,” Wylie Stateman
“Star Wars: The Rise of SkyWalker,” Matthew Wood, David Acord
Sound Mixing:
“Ad Astra”
“Ford v Ferrari”
“Joker”
“1917”
“Once Upon a Time in Hollywood”
Production Design:
“The Irishman,” Bob Shaw and Regina Graves
“Jojo Rabbit,” Ra Vincent and Nora Sopkova
“1917,” Dennis Gassner and Lee Sandales
“Once Upon a Time in Hollywood,” Barbara Ling and Nancy Haigh
“Parasite,” Lee Ha-Jun and Cho Won Woo, Han Ga Ram, and Cho Hee
Original Score:
“Joker,” Hildur Guðnadóttir
“Little Women,” Alexandre Desplat
“Marriage Story,” Randy Newman
“1917,” Thomas Newman
“Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker,” John Williams
Original Song:
“I Can’t Let You Throw Yourself Away,” “Toy Story 4”
“I’m Gonna Love Me Again,” “Rocketman”
“I’m Standing With You,” “Breakthrough”
“Into the Unknown,” “Frozen 2”
“Stand Up,” “Harriet”
Makeup and Hair:
“Bombshell”
“Joker”
“Judy”
“Maleficent: Mistress of Evil”
“1917”
Costume Design:
”The Irishman,” Sandy Powell, Christopher Peterson
“Jojo Rabbit,” Mayes C. Rubeo
“Joker,” Mark Bridges
“Little Women,” Jacqueline Durran
“Once Upon a Time in Hollywood,” Arianne Phillips
Visual Effects:
“Avengers Endgame”
“The Irishman”
“1917”
“The Lion King”
“Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker”

I am still utterly yoga and meditation obsessed. I rarely, if ever, go a day without these two elements in my life now and I am always seeking ways to access classes that are effective and preferably free as well. Don't get me wrong, I have no issue with people paying to go to yoga classes or learning how to meditate from a professional, I just think that there are some really great ways to access quality programs for free that people may not be aware of. 
Over the last four years I have become very disciplined and committed to my yoga and meditation practises and this endeavour has in turn, lead to me finding some amazing YouTube channels that offer free, effective and fun home practises that can hone your skills and give you a cheap alternative to paying for a gym membership or a yoga/ meditation guru. 
Here's my list of best YouTube yoga and meditation home practises: 
Yoga with Adriene - I started my yoga journey with Adriene and her dog Benji, she's a sweet and user friendly way to kick start an 'at home' yoga practise. She does monthly calendars that you can follow and they're terrific!
SarahBethYoga - Gorgeous Sarah has the best at home yoga morning quickies for all levels of ability. You can access an entire library of 10, 15, 20 and 30 minute practises with varying levels of intensity and challenge. 
Fightmaster Yoga - Lesley Fightmaster is a little ditsy with her high voice and daily quotes, but her practises are really great and very effective for body toning. Her channel has something for everyone, including some really advanced yoga challenges as well.
PsycheTruth - This is a health and wellbeing channel that offers more than yoga. Their clips cover nutrition, pain relief, massage, meditation, stress and anxiety relief, holistic health and much, much more. They have loads of instructors so you can try out a variety of them and find one that you like. 
Five Parks Yoga - Erin Sampson is one fit lady! Her channel offers a more advanced 'at home' yoga practise. She does do some shorter sessions as well, but her overall level of intensity is higher. Loads of strength building and core routines with little rest time.
Yoga with Jess - Jess delivers good, short, problem area focused yoga sessions. Unfortunately she hasn't posted for around 9 months now, but there is a good bank of her old stuff still there to access, all of which are very good. 
Bad Yogi Yoga - A little of everything and definitely a good place for beginners to start, this channel is a great way to learn the basics properly. The short '100 poses' videos are terrific for getting your postures correct and learning the names and shapes of yoga poses properly.
Kino Yoga - Kino MacGregor looks like a suntanned health-guru dream yogi. If you can get passed her 'polished and perfect' exterior, you'll see that with 20 plus years of experience under her belt, she offers something for everyone and delivers practises that build strength and flexibility in serious and transformative ways. 
BrettLarkinYoga - Vinyasa flow and meditation channel that has some easy beginners stuff all the way through to the deep sweaty advanced work. Brett (who is actually a woman) also delivers some really great free meditations and nighttime yoga sessions as well. 
The Mindful Movement - Meditations, visualisations, hypnosis, pilates, yoga and mindfulness - this channel is your one stop shop for inner peace and self healing techniques, it has something for everyone. 

Hopefully, you'll be able to find something new to try from my list of free goodies. Anything that makes you feel brighter, gets you balanced and brings joy to your life for free can't be a bad thing! 

AS ABOVE, SO BELOW
Release Date: 2014
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 93 mins 
The critics rather unfairly tore this survival-horror movie a new asshole, and no, it's certainly not a life changer, but given the fact that the cast was a bunch of virtual unknowns, the setting was nothing more than miles of poorly lit tunnel and the director went for another hand held- found footage approach, As Above, So Below still provided an adequately creepy and intriguing environment that kept me watching until the very end. 
Scarlet, an intrepid explorer, takes a team of guides and curious friends into the Parisian catacombs in search of the Philosophers Stone, with dire consequences. 
I would have liked to have seen a bit more 'Hellmouth' action to be honest, because the lead up was far too long and the actual 'hell time' was fleeting, under-developed and rushed. The plausibility of the story line had more holes in it than Swiss cheese, but overall I am still giving this a thumbs up for it's claustrophobic effect and creepy weirdness. 
FINAL SAY: As I believe the world to be, so it is. 
3 Chilli Peppers ​

I am all for owning and indulging in your guilty pleasures, and come on, let's put it out there...they're only guilty pleasures if you actually feel guilty about them, right? So rather than calling them 'guilty' pleasures let's just call them straight up pleasures, aka the things that you love to indulge in that other people may not (probably won't) know about. And let's be honest about this, we all have them, so there's no point in acting like you don't. And they could be as innocuous as eating chocolate in the bathtub whilst listening to Cindy Lauper CD's or they could be as dangerous as snorting cocaine off the back of a dunny seat everytime that you go to a Melbourne nightclub; whatever your pleasure (and as long as it isn't harming anyone else) I say that it's okay to indulge in your pleasure vices from time to time. 
I find that as I get older, my choice of 'pleasures' has changed substantially, and that's not because I don't have anything that I desire enough to warrant the effort because I most certainly do, but I find that I am much busier and more financially restricted as the time in my life marches on; so what I can afford to indulge in, and also what I can afford the time to indulge in, has altered quite a lot. Perhaps I just have more expensive pleasures than I did say... fifteen years ago, which is probably closer to the truth and that would generally mean that I just can't afford to indulge in them as often as I would like to. 
When I say expensive, I also mean indulgent and I think that, like most of us, there is a certain level of guilt associated with indulging in your pleasures, especially if you know that they are expensive, dangerous or not really considered to be good for your health - hence the title guilty pleasures. However, if there is one thing that I have learnt thus far in this life,  it's that restricting yourself from the things that you really love and genuinely crave is not only extremely cruel, but it's downright oppressive to your soul as well. One must never forget the age old adage - you can't take your riches with you when you die, so you may as well make the most of them while you can. 
Over the years the topic of guilty pleasures has come up from time to time when I have had people around, it is certainly one of the more interesting topics that you can discuss at a dinner party or friendly gathering. As interesting as your own pleasures are to you, I find it way more interesting to hear about the guilty pleasures of others. Other people's pleasure choices can reveal another dimension to their person that you may have completely overlooked, and although I am not going to out anyone here for their specific desires, I have heard some pretty interesting and even salacious pleasure choices that have raised a few eyebrows in the room when they were revealed.
Check out these rippers:

• Staying a work late to use their internet to game.
• Looking at photos of Kamal and listening to him sing - and getting turned on!
• Getting drunk and binge watching bad reality TV.
• Enjoying McDonald's breakfasts regularly. 
• Dancing in the loungeroom to songs from Dirty Dancing or Grease. 
• Stealing luxury pillows from hotels.
• Eating a (free?) handful of grapes or nuts from the produce section of supermarkets. 
• Drinking a whole bottle of good champagne alone.
• Eating raw cake mixture or biscuit dough. 
• Stealing soaps. 
• Watching Steven Seagal movies and loving them. 
• Getting professional massages on your lunch break.
• Following Justin Bieber on Instagram. 
• Watching 'weird topic' porn.
• Reading Mills and Boon novels. 
• Impulse travelling or road tripping. 
• Sunbaking without sunscreen.
• Eating things straight from the jar or drinking out of the carton.
• Smoking joints.
• Squeezing pimples on other people's backs or faces. 
• Not showering on the weekends. 
• Stalking people on social media platforms. 
• Talking to your pet like it's a real person that understands you. 

Some of those were actually mine, but I am not going to tell you which ones...you'll just have to guess! In the meantime, raise a glass to your own (guilty) pleasures, partake in them and explore what gives you genuine and unbridled joy, because life's too short not to indulge in the sillier, simpler and saucier bits and bobs. And, as long as 'it harms none' then I say go in hard and celebrate being alive everyday!

Here's a shout out to all of the directors that have given me a memorable viewing experience at some point in my lifetime. This list is designed to give credit to my favourite director's work and offer homage to their incredible efforts. I have also cited my favourite movie offering from each director as well, just in case you wanted to know where I thought that they had put down their best work thus far. 
What made me really happy when I was compiling this list was just how varied, vast and interesting the styles of direction are that I have been fortunate enough to experience, but what made me really sad was the lack of female directors that made this list. Clearly, the role of director is still a very male dominated field in Hollywood. I did happen to notice that all of the best movie nominations at the Golden Globes this year were all for male directors. And the saddest thing of all about this is, that it is not at all indicative of female directorial ability or talent in any way, shape or form, what it is indicative of is the lack of opportunities for upcoming female directors, and that is something that really needs to change.
Some of the best movies and television programs that I have seen over the last few years were both written and directed by women. Women have incredible and engaging stories to tell both in front of and behind the camera, and I for one would like to see more of them in the future. So, please make sure that you too are making an effort to see more movies that have been directed women in a show of support for all of the female directing pioneers that are out there telling their stories and sharing their visions in a very male dominated industry. 
So without any further ado, here are my favourite movie directors (in no particular order other than my recall ability) and my favourite movies that they have brought to life on screen. 
David Lynch - A true visionary in every sense, he's the man behind Twin Peaks, Blue Velvet, The Elephant Man and Eraserhead. Lynch is known for his surrealist cinema stylings and deeply original point of view.
BEST MOVIE: Mulholland Drive
Wes Anderson - The king of quirk with a distinct visual style and amusing narrative. He's delivered gems like The Royal Tenenbaums, Moonrise Kingdom and The Grand Budapest Hotel and has produced two incredible stop motion children's animations as well, one of which is on my Hall of Fame.
BEST MOVIE: Fantastic Mr Fox
Lars von Trier- A Danish director and scriptwriter that has had a long and controversial career. Basically he seems to enjoy destroying beautiful things in all of his films, which are gritty and damning. He's responsible for Nymphomaniac, Antichrist, Dancer in the Dark and Dogville, which all left a mark on me. 
BEST MOVIE: Melancholia
Jason Reitman - Reitman seems to 'get' women and understand difficult relationship dynamics, and his films certainly portray that knowledge. He brought us Juno, Up in the Air, Tully and Young Adult which were all exceptionally good. 
BEST MOVIE: Labor Day 
Taika Waititi - A clever New Zealand comedy filmmaker who always seems to get the right balance between poignancy and laughs in his films. He's the funny guy behind Moana (he wrote the first screenplay), What We Do in the Shadows, Eagle vs Shark, Boy and most recently Jojo Rabbit. 
BEST MOVIE: Hunt for the Wilderpeople
Peter Jackson - Jackson is responsible for all of the journeys that I took in darkened cinemas to Middle Earth, I bloody love ya Peter! Besides the all of the LOTR's and The Hobbits, he is also the man behind King Kong, The Lovely Bones and the incredible documentary They Shall Not Grow Old. 
BEST MOVIE: The Lord of the Rings Trilogy
John Hughes - Hughes pretty much dictated everything that I became obsessed with in my teens. From bad boys to '80's fashion Hughes could do no wrong. I have rewatched Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Sixteen Candles and Weird Science countless times, they're absolute classics. 
BEST MOVIE: The Breakfast Club
Stanley Kubrick  - Probably one of the most influential filmmakers of all time, Kubrick has crossed so many genres that his body of work is dizzying! He gave us giants like 2001: A Space Odyssey, The Shining, Full Metal Jacket, Spartacus and A Clockwork Orange. 
BEST MOVIE: Eyes Wide Shut
Alejandro González Iñárritu - With a flair for telling the most compelling international stories about the human condition, this highly acclaimed Mexican director gave us some unforgettable cinematic experiences like Birdman, Amores Perros, 21 Grams and The Revenant. 
BEST MOVIE: Babel
Oliver Stone - A controversial director that has been accused of being a conspiracy theorist. He actually wrote the script for Scarface (which was directed by Brian De Palma) and also gave us Platoon, The Doors, Born on the Fourth of July and Wall Street. 
BEST MOVIE: Natural Born Killers
Michel Gondry - A French director that uses strong visual themes and compositions (often called Mise-en-scene)  to tell a story. Because of this, Gondry's movies are visually striking and are often considered to be art house or avante-garde. He gave us The Science of Sleep, Be Kind Rewind and most recently the brilliant  television series Kidding. 
BEST MOVIE: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Guillermo del Toro - A visionary fantasy director from Mexico who creatively brings monsters and mythical creatures to life in his films. Generally science fiction, horror or fantasy based, del Toro gave us some amazing otherworldly journeys through The Shape of Water, Hellboy and Crimson Peak.
BEST MOVIE: Pan's Labyrinth
Danny Boyle - This British director delivers equal measures of intense action and sincere emotion into everything that he does.  He's tried his hand at many genres and kept us gripped with Trainspotting, 28 Days Later, Sunshine, The Beach and more recently, Yesterday.
BEST MOVIE: Slumdog Millionaire
Sam Mendes - The buzz around this director has been huge this year, given the success of 1917. However, let's not forget all of his other epic offerings like American Beauty, Skyfall and Revolutionary Road.
BEST MOVIE: 1917 
James Wan  - An Australian-Malaysian director who rose to prominence after he co-created the Saw film franchise. Since then he has been scaring the pants off people with memorable horror films like The Conjuring, Insidious and Annabelle films.
BEST MOVIE: The Conjuring 2: The Enfield Case
Greta Gerwig - Actress and filmmaker, Gerwig collaborated with her partner (who is also a director) Noah Baumbach on several films before she kicked off her solo directing career in 2017 with Lady Bird. Since then, Gerwig has become a respected and predominant modern Hollywood director. 
BEST MOVIE: Little Women
Ridley Scott - I feel like I grew up watching Ridley Scott action and science fiction films. He's been entertaining me for decades and he's had some mind blowingly great movies like Alien, Blade Runner, Gladiator, Black Hawk Down and American Gangster. 
BEST MOVIE: The Martian
Michael Moore - A controversial American documentary filmmaker that gets up in everyone's face; love him or hate him, Michael Moore is hard to ignore. He's hit some very high notes with Fahrenheit 9/11, Sicko and Where to Invade Next. 
BEST MOVIE: Bowling for Columbine
Guy Ritchie - Before he married Madonna, Ritchie was making heaps of kick arse British gangster movies that were really funny and very entertaining.  He has just recently gone back to doing that again with The Gentlemen, but let's not forget that he also did Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, RocknRolla and believe it or not, the 2019 live action version of Aladdin. 
BEST MOVIE: Snatch
Jim Jarmusch - The patron saint of independent cinema since the '80's, Jarmusch's films are really arty, really cool, very edgy and hypnotically contemplative. He gave us Paterson, Deadman and Ghost Dog: The Way of the Samurai. 
BEST MOVIE: Only Lovers Left Alive
Steven Soderbergh - When Soderbergh made Unsane in 2018 and filmed it all on his iphone he made us feel like we were wasting our lives! He's a pioneer of independent cinema and his body of work is incredibly impressive; he gave us Contagion, Erin Brockovich and the Ocean's franchise. 
BEST MOVIE: Logan Lucky 
Christopher Nolan - He probably got a bit pigeon-holed for a while due to his Batman trilogy efforts (which I also loved) but let's not forget that he also gave us other memorable epics like Inception, Dunkirk and Memento. 
BEST MOVIE: Interstellar
Sam Raimi - Raimi terrified audiences in the 80's with The Evil Dead and then enchanted them in the early 2000's with Spiderman so it would be fair to say that his work is varied and vast. He also gave us some very noteworthy cult horror movies like Army of Darkness, Drag Me to Hell and Don't Breathe.
BEST MOVIE: The Evil Dead
Clint Eastwood - He blew everyone away when he started directing and acting in a string of extremely good and Oscar worthy movies, which he is still doing to this day. The man's got some serious talent and gave us gems like  Gran Torino, Million Dollar Baby and Mystic River.
BEST MOVIE: Unforgiven
Tim Burton - No-one does eccentric gothic horror and fantasy films better than Burton, he is the master! He has a style that is all his own, and with a lot of help from wife Helena Bonham Carter and actor Johnny Depp he's given us fantastical romps into magical fantasy worlds that have included Charlie and the Chocolate factory, Beetlejuice, Big Fish, Edward Scissorhands and Alice in Wonderland. 
BEST MOVIE: Sweeney Todd
Ang Lee - A visionary and a genuinely beautiful storyteller. It's rare for me not to get choked up when I watch an Ang Lee movie, they are just so deeply affecting. He gave us the gorgeous Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, Life of Pi and The Ice Storm. 
BEST MOVIE: Brokeback Mountain
Sofia Coppola - Daughter of Francis Ford Coppola, Sofia has proven her worth as a director in her own right by delivering thoughtful explorations of female relationships and genuine, modern impressions of the human experience. She was responsible for The Virgin Suicides, Marie Antoinette and The Beguiled. 
BEST MOVIE: Lost in Translation
Judd Apatow -An American comedy director that started out producing and developing the television show Freaks and Geeks in the late 90's. He went on to direct Trainwreck, The 40-year-old Virgin and Knocked Up and also write some of the funniest movies that I have ever seen. 
​BEST MOVIE: Superbad
Alfred Hitchcock - The most influential and extensively studied filmmaker in the history of cinema, how could I possibly leave Hitchcock off my list? He's been giving audiences thrills and chills for years, and he still is with his extensive repertoire of thriller classics like North by Northwest, The Birds, Rear Window and Vertigo.
BEST MOVIE: Psycho
David Fincher - Ever since I saw The Game in 1997 I became interested in seeing more of Fincher's work. He's delivered a strong, controversial and impactful body of work and was responsible for Seven, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, The Social Network and Gone Girl.
BEST MOVIE: Fight Club
Paolo Sorrentino - An Italian director with an eye for truly beautiful and meaningful cinema. His films are absolute masterpieces and offer viewers moments of contemplation and glimpses of magic - I am obsessed with his work. He's responsible for Youth and This Must Be the Place. 
BEST MOVIE: The Great Beauty.
Joel and Ethan Coen - Genius brothers who bring something fresh, quirky and unique to the screen every time.  Their repertoire is so vast and so excellent that I really struggled to pick my favourite because they delivered The Big Lebowski, Blood Simple, O Brother Where Art Thou?, Fargo, Raising Arizona, Burn After Reading and True Grit, all of which were exceptionally great.
BEST MOVIE: No Country For Old Men
Alfonso Cuaron - A critically acclaimed Mexican director with an impeccable body of high quality work that crosses just about every genre of cinema including thriller, fantasy, science fiction and drama. Thanks Cuaron for giving us truly unforgettable moments like Y Tu Mama Tambien, Gravity and Children of Men.
BEST MOVIE: Roma
Francis Ford Coppola - Widely considered to be one of the greatest filmmakers of all time, Coppola practically had an all out nervous breakdown whilst filming Apocalypse Now in 1979. His commitment to 'getting the film right' has led people to see him a visionary of cinema. He gave us such giants as The Godfather trilogy, Bram Stoker's Dracula and The Outsiders. 
BEST MOVIE: Apocalypse Now
Quentin Tarantino - Known for his uber violent, non-linear storylines that contain extended dialogue, huge ensemble casts and loads of Pop Culture references, Tarantino has a style that is all his own. Many of his films pay homage to all of his own cinematic loves, especially Japanese martial arts, kung fu movies, spaghetti westerns and Italian horror. He's the man behind the following cinematic  juggernauts - Reservoir Dogs, Pulp Fiction, Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, Django Unchained, Kill Bill Vol 1 and 2, Death Proof and The Hateful Eight.
BEST MOVIE: Inglourious Basterds
Martin McDonagh - Considered to be the most acclaimed living Irish- British playwright, McDonagh caught my attentions when he made In Bruge, and then delivered again with Seven Psychopaths in 2012. But we all know him best for his amazing 2017 offering that made my Hall of Fame.
BEST MOVIE: Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri
Kathryn Bigelow - Spreading herself across a wide range of genres, Bigelow is not afraid to grapple the big topics. She is forging the way for future female directors with her stellar repertoire which includes Zero Dark Thirty, Near Dark and Point Break.
BEST MOVIE: The Hurt Locker
Darren Aronofsky - A director with a flair for delivering surreal, melodramatic and often disturbing content in his movies. Audiences often seem divided on Aronofsky's material, but I think that he is one of the most talented filmmakers of his generation. He brought us Black Swan, Requiem for a Dream, Pi, The Fountain and Mother!
BEST MOVIE: The Wrestler
Steven Spielberg - Okay, I know that he can be cheesy as hell, but when he gets it right - he really gets it right. There's a reason that Spielberg is still filling cinemas, the man knows how to make a movie. Besides I was virtually raised on Spielberg's material. He gave us E.T., Saving Private Ryan, Jurassic Park, Ready Player One, Schindler's List, Raiders of the Lost Ark, War of the Worlds and Jaws. 
BEST MOVIE: A.I. 
Tarsem Singh - An Indian director that creates films that are a complete immersion and a true feast for the senses. Stunning and absolutely unforgettable, I love his vision and wish that he would make more movies. Singh gave us Immortals, The Cell and Mirror Mirror.
BEST MOVIE: The Fall
Paul Thomas Anderson - Contemplative and filled with flawed and desperate characters, Anderson's movies explore dysfunctional families, alienation and loneliness and they are deeply affecting. He delivered some of my favourite cinematic experiences like Magnolia, Boogie Nights and Punch Drunk Love.
BEST MOVIE: There Will Be Blood.
Martin Scorsese - An American director best known for his gangster and crime movies, he is widely considered to be one of the most influential directors of the New Hollywood era. He tends to cast the same actors in many of his movies, and he has a long professional relationship with Robert De Niro. Scorsese gave us Goodfellas, Taxi Driver, The Departed, Raging Bull and most recently The Irishman. 
BEST MOVIE: Casino
David Cronenberg - Sometimes called the 'Baron of Blood' due to his visceral body horror movies. Cronenberg has made films that people never forget that they have seen, because they are so grotesque! It's really no surprise that I love his work! He gave us The Fly, Videodrome and  Scanners.
BEST MOVIE: eXistenZ
Alexander Payne -  One of the best filmmakers of all time, Payne's movies are full of dark humour and satirical depictions of a dysfunctional modern America. He's the man behind Sideways, About Schmidt and Nebraska.
BEST MOVIE: The Descendants
Jennifer Kent - Kent made her directorial debut in 2014 with the haunting film The Babadook. She is an Australian director that is willing to handle sensitive and disturbing material. Her 2018 movie The Nightingale caused waves due to it's graphic content, but I thought that it was one of the best film of that year. 
BEST MOVIE: The Nightingale
Roman Polanski - I wish that someone that wasn't a pedophile had directed Rosemary's Baby because it's definitely one of my favourite movies of all time. But the love ends there Roman because you're just not a good guy. 
BEST MOVIE: Rosemary's Baby 
HONOURABLE MENTIONS: aka 'I still love ya'

• Terrence Malick - The Thin Red Line and The Tree of Life, total game changers.
• Brian de Palma - Carrie and Scarface, enough said. 
• Dario Argento - 1977 Suspiria, nothing has come close to matching it in crazy colour design and stylised macabre.
• Neill Blomkamp - District 9 was next level genius, can we get more of that please? 
• Baz Luhrmann - Absolutely loved the Red Curtain Trilogy, and let's not forget The Great Gatsby or Australia. 
• Duncan Jones - you had me at Moon.
• Kenneth Lonergan - Manchester by the Sea, one of the most affecting movies I've ever seen.
• Woody Allen - actually I really don't love ya - NOT at all, you're a weirdo and you're a creep! However, I cannot deny that Blue Jasmine, Annie Hall, Mighty Aphrodite and Vicky Cristina Barcelona were all worthy watches. 

Not always the easiest things to do, but listening to your emotions is vital to staying on track and managing yourself in a dignified and intelligent way. Once you become adept at acknowledging emotions and the message that they are sending to you, then you can empower yourself to question the validity of the message and respond accordingly. Sounds rather scientific, but it really isn't and just like any other muscle that you work on to make it stronger, your emotional intelligence is just as pliable and important, so why not start to decipher your feels, identify them and manage them like a boss?
Here is a list of some common negative emotions that you may be feeling and what they could be trying to tell you to address:
Bitterness: you are not healed from an old pain, your hanging onto a judgement of yourself and/or others. 
Resentment: you're living in the past and not allowing the present to be as it.
Discomfort: You need to start paying attention to what is occurring to you right now. You could be ignoring an opportunity to change or hanging on to outmoded version of yourself. 
Anger: Your passionate about something or you feel like an injustice has occurred. Check your boundaries and reassess your need to force your passions outwards.
Disappointment: You tried for something, you didn't give in to apathy and you still care.
Guilt: Guilt helps you to understand the person that you do not want to be. You have an opportunity to forgive yourself and move on. 
Shame: You're internalizing someone else's beliefs about who you should be (or who you are) and you need to connect with yourself. 
Sadness: You have depth in your feelings, you care for others and the world.
Jealousy: You are not content with what you have, you need to discover what it is that is making you feel incomplete.

You do not have to be slave to your negative emotions, remember that you are always in control and that you must try to resolve your feelings first and foremostly, with acceptance. Become aware of what you are feeling, name it and notice where in your physical body it is affecting you, and then without judgement just mindfully label it, eg. this is anxiety. Don't deny the emotion or reject it, accept it completely and even though that may seem like an overwhelming thing to do, also remind yourself that it is not a permanent feeling and that it will, like all things, eventually come to pass. Work hard to identify your triggers and what is going on that makes these feelings rise up within you from time to time and let go of the need to be in control of your emotions all the time. 
You don't have to deny or control your feelings, you only need to manage your responses to them. As I have said in previous blog posts, even Buddhist monks get pissed off from time to time, they just don't act on those feelings, and that is emotional intelligence - just letting the emotions come in and leave without you needing to engage with them at all. And you can do this, and you do deserve to live a life free of stress and anxiety, and you do deserve to feel happy and content, so allow yourself to do the work of the self as often as you can. 
I think that Charles Bukowski summed it all best when he said:
"Nobody can save you but yourself -
and you're worth saving.
It's a war not easily won 
but if anything is worth winning -
this is it."

The Golden Globes Awards happened on Monday at midday and I was lucky enough to watch them in real time from the comfort of my couch. However, it is extremely hard to really enjoy any type of celebration or merriment wholeheartedly at the moment without feeling extremely guilty. Especially when you are surrounded by a very ominous, dark, smokey haze that has drifted over from the devastating bushfires that are ravaging our country at the moment. To call the state of affairs in Australia grim at the moment would be a serious understatement, they are truly troubling and frightening real. 
Gone are the days of a laid back and relaxed Aussie Summer, the reality of our warmer season now is  an endurance of long dry days, hypervigilance and dire concern as year after year we watch in despair as our country turns to ash. And I am well aware that our climate makes us more susceptible to bushfire, but the frequency, ferocity and duration of this year's blazes has been unprecedented. Nowhere in Australia is safe from the threat of fire anymore and when you already live in a high fire risk area as I do, you can't help but be very, very concerned. 
Many of the actors that took to the stage on Monday extended their thoughts and solidarity towards Australia during our country's fire crisis, but goodwill and thoughts, although kind, aren't exactly going to extinguish the roaring blazes or save family homes. So, what can anyone really do to help? At this point in the crisis what we really need is more money, money to replace homes and support devastated communities to get back onto their feet and to help care for injured wildlife and fund koala hospitals. These donations can be made through The Red Cross, the CFA, Wildlife Victoria and also directly to The Victorian Bushfire Appeal, all of whom can easily be reached online if you feel compelled to offer financial support. 
In the long run however, it is up to us as a nation to not only be stronger in our fire awareness and prevention but to be far more mindful about where we place our votes for our country's leadership in the future. Without a leader in this country that is willing to make serious and realistic moves towards our climate change issues nothing is going to improve. Australia desperately needs a national climate and energy policy review, and most of all a leader that is willing to undertake that work. That is never going to happen if we don't make it happen, so please, I implore you to not waste your next vote but to thoughtfully consider what the future of our country will look like for our children and children's children and to have that at the forefront of your thinking when you vote next. Come on Australia - we can make big changes for the better by just casting our vote to where it is needed. 
​But enough about politics, let's lighten the mood and announce the Golden Globe recipients for 2020 - a most worthy and deserving bunch for sure:

Another incredible year of movies and television as the entertainment bar raises even higher and the standards of exceptional viewing opportunities continue to grow wider and faster than anyone could have predicted. This year I watched 212 movies, which was around 30 less than I watched in 2018, but I did watch 147 television series (some of which were more than one series of catch up as well) which was a lot more TV than I viewed in 2018, so it all balances out to the same amount of couch smashing in the end and still translates to me being a serious media addict. 
You will notice that there are a lot more TV series listed below than movies, and that is simply because there were a lot more excellent TV experiences to be had this year. The influx of genuinely high level television in 2019 was literally never ending, and to be perfectly honest there was also a tonne of exceptionally fabulous movies produced as well. If viewing opportunities keep escalating at this rate I am going to need to take long service leave just to stay on top of it all! 
However, in all seriousness, 2019 was a super strong year when it came to viewing experiences across all genres and without further ado....here is my selection for the best viewing experiences of 2019. 
BEST MOVIES (2019 release):

• Little Women - Period Drama 5 Chilli Peppers (Hall of Fame) 
• Avengers: Endgame - Super 5 Chilli Peppers (Hall of Fame)
• Marriage Story - Romance/ Drama 4.5 Chilli Peppers 
• Once Upon a Time in Hollywood - Drama 4.5 Chilli Peppers 
• The Irishman - Crime 4 Chilli Peppers 
• The King - War/ Historical 4 Chilli Peppers
• Toy Story 4 - Kid Friendly 4 Chilli Peppers 
• Jojo Rabbit - Comedy 4 Chilli Peppers
• Midsommar - Horror 4 Chilli Peppers
• John Wick 3: Parabellum - Action 4 Chilli Peppers
• Joker - Super 4 Chilli Peppers
• Klaus - Kid Friendly 4 Chilli Peppers

HONOURABLE MENTIONS:

• Knives Out - Crime 3.5 Chilli Peppers 
• Captain Marvel - Super 3.5 Chilli Peppers 
• Fighting With My Family - Sports Drama 3.5 Chilli Peppers 
• Top End Wedding - Comedy 3.5 Chilli Peppers
• I Am Mother - Science Fiction 3.5 Chilli Peppers

Here are my top recommendations for pre-2019 releases that I didn't get to see until 2019:

• The Favourite - Drama 4.5 Chilli Peppers
• They Shall Not Grow Old - Documentary 4.5 Chilli Peppers 
• Spiderman: Into the Spiderverse - Super 4.5 Chilli Peppers
• Green Book - Drama 4 Chilli Peppers
• Film Stars Don't Die in Liverpool - Romance 4 Chilli Peppers
• American Animals - Crime 4 Chilli Peppers 
• End of Watch - Crime 4 Chilli Peppers
• 45 years - Drama 4 Chili Peppers
• Mandy - Horror 3.5 Chilli Peppers
• Eighth Grade - Drama 3.5 Chilli  Peppers
• Tully - Drama 3.5 Chilli Peppers
• Sorry to Bother You - Art House 3.5 Chilli Peppers

BEST TELEVISION SERIES 2019:

• Escape From Dannemora - Crime 5 Chilli Peppers
• Game of Thrones (Final Series) - Fantasy 5 Chilli Peppers 
• Chernobyl - Historical Drama 5 Chilli Peppers
• Fleabag S1 and S2 - Comedy 5 Chilli Peppers
• The Dark Crystal - Fantasy 5 Chilli Peppers
• The Watchmen - Science Fiction 5 Chilli Peppers
• Lemony Snicket's: A Series Unfortunate Events S2 - Fantasy 4.5 Chilli Peppers
• Les Miserables - Period Drama 4.5 Chilli Peppers 
• Britannia S2 - Fantasy 4.5 Chilli Peppers 
• The Let Down S2 - Comedy 4.5 Chilli Peppers 
• Gentleman Jack - Period Drama 4.5 Chilli Peppers
• The Act - Crime 4.5 Chilli Peppers
• Lambs of God - Drama 4.5 Chilli Peppers

HONOURABLE MENTIONS: 

• SMILF S2 - Comedy 4 Chilli Peppers 
• Sally 4eva - Comedy 4 Chilli Peppers 
• After Life - Comedy/ Drama 4 Chilli Peppers 
• Love, Death and Robots - Science Fiction 4 Chilli Peppers 
• What We Do in the Shadows - Comedy/Horror 4 Chilli Peppers 
• Forever - Science Fiction 4 Chilli Peppers 
• Sabrina S2 - Horror 4 Chilli Peppers 
• American Gods S2 - Fantasy 4 Chilli Peppers 
• Detectorists S3 - Comedy 4 Chilli Peppers 
• Bad Omens - Fantasy 4 Chilli Peppers 
• The Hot Zone - Historical Drama 4 Chilli Peppers 
• Euphoria - Drama 4 Chilli Peppers 
• Perpetual Grace - Fantasy/Drama 4 Chilli Peppers 
• Stranger Things S3 - Science Fiction 4 Chilli Peppers
• Big Little Lies S2 - Drama  4 Chilli Peppers 
• Marianne - Horror/ Foreign 4 Chilli Peppers 
• The Kominsky Method S2 - Drama 4 Chilli Peppers 
• Castle Rock S2 - Horror 4 Chilli Peppers 
• The Righteous Gemstones - Comedy 4 Chilli Peppers 
• Mr Robot (S4 - final Season) - Drama 4 Chilli Peppers 
• Upright - Drama 4 Chilli Peppers 

I'm not going to lie about it, 2019 was NOT my favourite year. It was a year when things that could go wrong did go wrong for me. It was year of loss, sorrow, illness, confusion and things just frickin breaking or catching on fire (seriously - catching on fire people - just nuts!), but you know what I have to say about that? I say, well yeah it was pretty shitty a lot of the time, but I survived it. And I am stronger and smarter and calmer and wiser because of it all, I have learnt more about myself and others this year than I ever thought that I could learn in one year and even though I am praying that 2020 is somewhat kinder and gentler to me, I am actually proud that I have managed myself as well as I did in the face of all that adversity. 
And it really wasn't all doom and gloom anyway, some really good stuff happened to me in 2019 as well, and I would really like to focus on those peaks and forget about the valleys right now. 

See, loads of good things happening all year long! If you just look hard enough at what you've been doing, you can always find the positives. And although this year has really tested my fortitude, it has also proven to me that I have some incredibly strong, kind and generous people in my life that have really supported me through the tough times, and that is better than so many others things and pretty much makes up for things catching on fire as well! 
So onward and upward I go, 2020 has arrived and along with it an opportunity to rise up, dust off and face the world again with a fresh perspective and some new found optimism. I feel that brighter days lie just ahead!

Words are flowing out
Like endless rain into a paper cup
They slither while they pass
They slip away across the universe
Pools of sorrow, waves of joy
After drifting through my opened mind
Possessing and caressing me
Jai Guru Deva, Om
Nothing's gonna change my world...

Beautiful words from John Lennon and the lyrics from the incredible song Across the Universe by The Beatles.  
And why have I written them here? Well, sometimes I find that words are not always enough to express a feeling, but song lyrics - like poetry, seem to fill that void for me. In fact, I often seek the mellow embrace of a song when I really need to let it all out and there are many songs that evoke deep emotional responses within me, but for some unknown reason Across the Universe is one that I find myself turning to when my emotions get a bit jammed up or muddled. 
Apparently, The Beatles stated that the song was heavily influenced by their interest in Transcendental Meditation during the late 1960's. The mantra "Jai Guru Dev, Om" that features in the song is actually a Sanskrit phrase whose words can have many meanings. In translation it approximates as "glory to the shining remover of darkness" and it can also be paraphrased as "Victory of God divine", "hail to the divine guru," or the phrase commonly invoked by the late Maharishi Mahesh Yogi in referring to his spiritual teacher, "All glory to Guru Dev."
Whatever the interpretation, the lyrics are highly image-based with abstract concepts and in a 1970 interview with Rolling Stone magazine, John Lennon referred to the lyrics of Across the Universe as "one of the best lyrics that I've written. In fact, it could be the best. It's good poetry, or whatever you call it, without chewin' it." And he is right, it is an incredibly well written piece of music and I always feel emotional when I listen to it. 
I suppose everyone has their favourite songs that they turn to when they want to cry a little or release something or just feel a connection. Here is a list of my top 25 favourite "get your feels out" songs that help me to release my pent up emotions. These songs really get me right in the heart every damn time that I listen to them. 

1. Across the Universe - I love The Beatles version, but recently Aurora did a version on Triple J's Like a Version and it is pretty much perfect in every way. 
2. This Woman's Work - Kate Bush 
3. Thirty-Three - The Smashing Pumpkins 
4. Morning Theft or Hallelujah - Jeff Buckley
5. Breathe Me - Sia 
6. Speak My Mind or Decision- N.Y.C.K. 
7. Get on the Road - Tired Pony
8. The Drugs Don't Work - The Verve
9. Unravel - Bjork
10. Watch You Go - Tyne-James Organ
11. Horizon - Aldous Harding 
12. Listen to Soul, Listen to Blues - Safia
13. River - Leon Bridges 
14. No Stars - Rebekah Del Rio 
15. Delete - DMA's 
16. Runaway or Vanderlyle Crybaby Geeks- The National 
17. Into Yellow - Martin Luke Brown
18. Pain and Misery - The Teskey Brothers 
19. ​Misplaced - Riley Pearce
20. Elegy - Leif Vollebekk
21. Primitive - Annie Lennox
22. All We Do - Oh Wonder 
23. I Get Overwhelmed - Dark Rooms
24. Medicine - Daughter
25. The Finish Line - Snow Patrol

I'm not 100% sure that crying out your feels to your favourite sad songs is the best way to deal with your emotions, but sometimes we all need to go to dark places to find ourselves again after stressful or traumatic times and listening to "get your feels out" songs seems like a pretty innocuous way to do that; just make sure you bring your tissue box along for the ride! 

JOJO RABBIT
Release Date: 2019 
Rating: MA 15+ 
Running Time: 108 mins
Written and directed by Taika Waititi (who also stars as an imaginary Adolf Hitler) Jojo Rabbit is set to divide viewers with it's strange mixture of comedy, war and drama. This unexpected 'feel good' movie swings between poignant and disturbing depictions of the atrocities of WW2 and full blown Nazi-mocking humour, never really committing to any one genre for the duration.
Living in Nazi occupied Germany during the latter stages of WW2, young Johannes "Jojo" Betzler, his best friend Yorki and his imaginary friend Adolf Hitler attend a Deutsches Jungvolk Hitler Youth training Camp together. The camp is designed to offer boys the basics in Nazi training, whilst strengthen their hate for all things Jewish. However, when Jojo comes into close contact with a Jewish girl, all of his training and pre-conceptions are put to the test. 
This is really funny stuff; Taika Waititi, Rebel Wilson, Stephen Merchant, Sam Rockwell and Scarlett Johansson all bring a lot of comic relief and support to Roman Griffin Davis who plays Jojo with loads of flair and and an engaging fresh faced innocence.  However, this movie is not just all about the laughs, because there are a lot of important and valuable things being said here as well which definitely makes it one of the most original films of the year for me. 
For fans of previous Waititi offerings, you are certainly in for a treat and although there is no denying that Jojo Rabbit isn't not going to appeal to everyone's taste, it certainly appealed to mine. 
FINAL SAY: Definitely not a good time to be a Nazi. 
4 Chilli Peppers ​

So much build up for just one day, and then poof! Christmas Day comes and then it goes again for another twelve months in the wink of an eye. I think that Christmas Day always seems to move at breakneck speed and generally it always feels like a bit of a blur for me. I always host a Christmas lunch which means that I do get busy in the kitchen on the actual day, and because this was our first Christmas without dad I also collected my mother on Christmas Eve to ensure that she was not alone on Christmas morning or Christmas Eve.
Mum's house is a three hour round trip from our house, so the travel required an extra element of time management in order to keep all of the Christmas events running smoothly and on time, but we managed and everything went well. To be honest, I had completely forgotten just how much effort some people go to every year for Christmas. Flitting around the countryside from one Christmas event to another is absolutely exhausting and we haven't had to do that for a very long time. I'd forgotten how drained it makes you! Craig's family hosted an afternoon/evening event in town here last night and I was absolutely knackered by the time the day drew to an end around 11.30pm - I slept like a bloody yuletide log! 
But, I am not complaining, Christmas should be a little hectic and a little bit crazy, it's a big event after all, so of course it deserves one's full attention! And it was a really wonderful day; we dressed the table in all of our finery, ate like kings, drank good wine, shared beautiful gifts, played games, hugged family members and laughed a whole lot together, so it was really a terrific day all round.
And today? Well today is Boxing Day so it is a completely different tale. Today I shlump about with unbrushed hair and an unwashed face in my old T-shirt and shorts looking like a bag lady as I picked at plates of leftovers, played Chinese Checkers with Seth and Craig and stood about in the garden with a hose at dusk for two hours in an attempt to water my sun crippled plants, all the while wondering how it is that the weeds in my yard look so lush and healthy. And tomorrow? Well, tomorrow reality will set in and I will probably pack Christmas away into boxes and bags for another year and begin to contemplate what I will do with the rest of my long hot Summer break. 
These days when the whole Summer break stretches out before you are the absolutely best days of all. And not just because of the possibilities of what you can do to fill those days, but for me, at this point in my life, right now, it's about knowing that there will definitely be days ahead for me digest the year that lies behind me and really take stock of where I want to be heading in the next twelve months of my life. I desperately need some contemplation time and I am so relieved to know that it is on the way!

So, the 2020 Golden Globe Nominations have been announced, which will pretty much dictate what I will be watching over my summer break. Yep, I am going to be hitting the couch and the cinema pretty hard over the next few weeks so that I can watch the actual Golden Globe Awards Ceremony live on Arena on January 6th and have some understanding of the content that has been nominated.
As an avid movie addict, I do feel very compelled to see at least 75% of everything nominated before an event of this calibre occurs in order for me to be discerning about whether a movie/program is worthy of the win or not. 
This year there is some really great news for those of you out there that don't like to go the cinema very often because quite a number of the nominated films and television programs are actually available through various streaming networks (which I have indicated below for your viewing ease) which means that you can watch a good swag of them from the comfort of your own couch in preparation for the big event. 
I cannot deny that there does appear to be a couple of incredibly great movies and television series that have been snubbed from the lists here, but this happens every year and I will get around to sharing my personal top pics of the year list very soon, so let's just go with what's been nominated here, and I will talk more about my personal choices for the best of 2019 in the very near future.
So, without further ado, here are the 2020 Golden Globe Nominations - happy viewing!
Best Motion Picture — Drama
1917
The Irishman - Netflix
Joker
Marriage Story - Netflix
The Two Popes - Netflix
Best Motion Picture — Musical or Comedy
Dolemite Is My Name -  Netflix
Jojo Rabbit
Knives Out
Once Upon a Time in Hollywood
Rocketman
Best Foreign-Language Motion Picture
The Farewell
Les Misérables 
Pain and Glory 
Parasite
Portrait of a Lady on Fire
Best Limited Series or TV Movie
Catch-22 - Stan
Chernobyl - HBO
Fosse/Verdon - HBO
The Loudest Voice - Showtime
Unbelievable - Netflix
Best Television Series — Drama
Big Little Lies - HBO
The Crown - Netflix
Killing Eve -  ABC iview or Stan
The Morning Show
Succession - HBO
Best Comedy Series
Fleabag - Amazon Prime
Barry - HBO
The Kominsky Method - Netflix
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel - Amazon Prime
The Politician - Netflix
Best Motion Picture — Animated
Frozen II
How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World
Missing Link
Toy Story 4
The Lion King
Best Director — Motion Picture
Bong Joon-ho, Parasite
Sam Mendes, 1917
Todd Phillips, Joker
Martin Scorsese, The Irishman
Quentin Tarantino, Once Upon a Time in Hollywood
Best Performance by an Actor in a Limited Series or Movie
Christopher Abbott, Catch-22
Sacha Baron Cohen, The Spy
Russell Crowe, The Loudest Voice
Jared Harris, Chernobyl
Sam Rockwell, Fosse/Verdon
Best Performance by an Actress in a Limited Series or Movie
Kaitlyn Dever, Unbelievable
Joey King, The Act - Hulu 
Helen Mirren, Catherine the Great - Foxtel
Merritt Wever, Unbelievable
Michelle Williams, Fosse/Verdon
Best Performance by a Supporting Actor in a Series, Limited Series, or TV Movie
Alan Arkin, The Kominsky Method
Kieran Culkin, Succession
Andrew Scott, Fleabag
Stellan Skarsgård, Chernobyl
Henry Winkler, Barry
Best Performance by a Supporting Actress in a Series, Limited Series, or TV Movie
Patricia Arquette, The Act 
Helena Bonham Carter, The Crown
Toni Collette, Unbelievable
Meryl Streep, Big Little Lies
Emily Watson, Chernobyl
Best Score for a Motion Picture
Little Women
Joker
Marriage Story
1917
Motherless Brooklyn
Best Original Song
“Beautiful Ghosts,” Cats
“(I’m Gonna) Love Me Again,” Rocketman
“Into the Unknown,” Frozen II
“Spirit,” The Lion King
“Stand Up,” Harriet
Best Performance by an Actor in a Comedy Series
Michael Douglas, The Kominsky Method - Netflix
Bill Hader, Barry - HBO
Ben Platt, The Politician - Netflix
Paul Rudd, Living With Yourself - Netflix
Ramy Youssef, Ramy - Stan
Best Performance by an Actress in a Comedy Series
Christina Applegate, Dead to Me - Netflix
Kirsten Dunst, On Becoming a God in Central Florida -  SBS
Rachel Brosnahan, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel - Amazon Prime
Natasha Lyonne, Russian Doll - Netflix
Phoebe Waller-Bridge, Fleabag - Amazon Prime
Best Performance by an Actor in a Drama Series
Brian Cox, Succession - HBO
Kit Harington, Game of Thrones - Foxtel
Rami Malek, Mr. Robot - HBO
Tobias Menzies, The Crown
Billy Porter, Pose -Foxtel
Best Performance by an Actress in a Drama Series
Jennifer Aniston, The Morning Show - Apple TV+
Jodie Comer, Killing Eve
Olivia Colman, The Crown
Nicole Kidman, Big Little Lies
Reese Witherspoon, The Morning Show
Best Performance by a Supporting Actor in a Motion Picture 
Tom Hanks, A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood
Anthony Hopkins, The Two Popes
Al Pacino, The Irishman
Joe Pesci, The Irishman
Brad Pitt, Once Upon a Time in Hollywood
Best Screenplay
Marriage Story
Parasite
The Two Popes
Once Upon a Time in Hollywood
The Irishman
Best Performance by a Supporting Actress in a Motion Picture
Kathy Bates, Richard Jewell
Annette Bening, The Report
Laura Dern, Marriage Story
Jennifer Lopez, Hustlers
Margot Robbie, Bombshell
Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture — Musical or Comedy
Daniel Craig, Knives Out
Taron Egerton, Rocketman
Roman Griffin Davis, Jojo Rabbit
Eddie Murphy, Dolemite Is My Name
Leonardo DiCaprio, Once Upon a Time in Hollywood
Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture — Drama
Christian Bale, Ford v Ferrari
Antonio Banderas, Pain and Glory
Adam Driver, Marriage Story
Joaquin Phoenix, Joker
Jonathan Pryce, The Two Popes
Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture — Musical or Comedy
Ana de Armas, Knives Out
Cate Blanchett, Where’d You Go, Bernadette
Beanie Feldstein, Booksmart
Emma Thompson, Late Night
Awkwafina, The Farewell
Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture — Drama
Cynthia Erivo, Harriet
Scarlett Johansson, Marriage Story
Saoirse Ronan, Little Women
Charlize Theron, Bombshell
Renée Zellweger, Judy

It is so easy to be petty. And it is way too simple to be negative. It is also extremely convenient to be those things when you think that you have some legitimate excuse to be that way, but at the end of the day you will actually never have a legitimate excuse to be any of those things and you will only make yourself feel like crap if you indulge in the bad, sad and ugly sides of yourself when things are going wrong in your life.  
It is during these particular challenging times of my life that I always try to reel my intentions and my attitude back in, reassess, stop being a whiny bitch and get back on with putting one foot in front of the other and just generally being an adult. However, I cannot deny that sometimes this is far easier said than done. 
Over the years I have had to employ more and more adult behaviour into my life, even though I would far prefer to be flossing about in the garden with flowers in my hair and no thought or concern about tomorrow. Yes, that is a very appealing scenario to me, but as you get older the opportunities to indulge in these kinds of behaviors gets dimmer and dimmer and further away all of the time. This does not mean that you should just stop indulging your innermost child, but it does mean that sometimes you have slap yourself upside the head, shake it off and get on with the processes of life, no matter how much that does not interest or excite you. 
Adulting is an unfortunate side effect of getting older, an extremely unfortunate side effect if you ask me, but it must be done because the expectations around 'being an adult' are plain and clear. No-one is going to put up with an immature whiny middle aged woman for very long, God knows I cannot put up with myself for very long when I am at my worst!
However, it's not all doom and gloom because there are actually some really great benefits and signs that you are maturing in the most wonderful of ways. Take a look at this list from quotecollective.com about the top ten signs that you're maturing:

1. Small talk no longer excites or interests you.
2. Sleep is more important to you than a Friday night out. 
3. You forgive more.
4. You become more open-minded.
5. You respect differences. 
6. You don't force your love onto others.
7. You accept heartache and failures.
8. You don't judge quickly.
9. You sometimes prefer to stay silent rather than engage in nonsense. 
10. Your happiness doesn't depend on others but on your inner self. 

And I would like to add another 10 positives to maturing that I have found particularly humbling over the last 12 months of my life:

1. You acknowledge that sometimes your inner voice is a bitch and you know that you don't have to listen to her. 
2. You know and accept that things happen and you can't do a frickin thing about it and you can 'just deal.' 
3. Smile and wave boys, smile and wave - if you're mature you will completely understand.
4. You acknowledge and accept that you have little to no control over what your children will say and do.
5. If people aren't making any effort, you recognise that they're not your people. 
6. You know that your needs do not have to come first.
7. You know that you are not ever a victim because you create your own reality. 
8. You understand that complicated is just as okay as simple. 
9. You accept that not everyone will get you and can say 'big whoop' when that happens. 
10. You know that you will never always be motivated and therefore you must learn to be disciplined. 

OOOHHH! Look at me, all grown up and finally learning to accept, acknowledge and recognise my own shortcomings, I have done some pretty serious evolving over the last twelve months that's for sure. Still though, I cannot deny that the frolicking in the garden thing is still wildly appealing to me. Regardless of how much I may be adulting the crap of things lately, there are certain things that I am not ready to abandon for a mature life just yet. 

The term 'gaslighting' was popularised after the 1944 film "Gaslight" with Charles Boyer and Ingrid Bergman. In the movie, the husband uses manipulative behaviours and manages to completely disrupt his wife's sense of reality. She begins to doubt her own sanity and he does all this to her so that he can steal her money....what an asshole!
Nowadays however, we use the term 'gaslighting' to describe people that use manipulative or specific patterns of behaviour to keep themselves on top or in control of other people. In short, a gaslighter doesn't want people doing anything without their say so or approval and they will use very sneaky and highly effective methods to keep themselves on top by making others doubt themselves or look incompetent. 
Gaslighters can turn up anywhere, you could even be married to one and not even realize it! They are usually in positions of power and they will most definitely want to keep things that way. Gaslighters can be men or women of any age, religion or nationality. They do often go undetected because their attempts at manipulation are slow, sly and exceptionally secretive. This can make them especially hard to identify in the workplace where they can happily push a lot of their own agenda or mask their cynicism by labelling it as necessary growth. 
Basically, gaslighters love the spotlight so they will happily claim other people's work or effort as their own, imply that other people's level of work is subpar or irrelevant and will openly push back any adverse behaviour that presents any kind of  jeopardy to their own perceived power status. Ever had a boss say something like "Oh,  I don't think that's true, maybe it's just how you choose to see it" when you try to present an issue to them? Well that soft manipulation technique is actually a form of gaslighting. So be aware, if your boss is always on the other side of all of your issues or giving you any reason to doubt yourself, your capabilities or your sense of reality, then odds are that you've been prey to a gaslighter. 
A gaslighter will micromanage others to the point of ridiculous in an attempt to stay in control. They will say things that make you doubt your own ability, they will make you feel like you aren't good enough and they will make it look like you are the one with the problem not them. Gaslighting is a form of narcissism, so you can bet that a gaslighter will vocally point out how successfully they once did the job that you are doing now - only better of course, and probably found it all a lot easier as well. They always lack the ability to put themselves into the shoes of another and therefore they lack empathy, which means that they will struggle to make deep connections with people, unless of course it will be of great benefit to them; then suddenly they will be hyper vigilant! 
Psychotherapist and owner of Mind Balance , Rose Lawrence has sighted the following traits to keep an eye out for when trying to spot a gaslighters: 

• Someone that uses their great humour and people skills to say things that sound innocent, but what they are really saying is underhanded and passive aggressive.
• Someone that listens long enough to collect information from you, but is not fully engaged in the listening process to show signs that they authentically care about what you are saying. 
• Lie and make you feel like it was your fault that they had to lie; gaslighters have zero accountability. 
• Take information and twist it around to their advantage or use it against others.
• Gossip to gain more ammunition.
• Appear confident but if you observe them closely they are actually deeply insecure.
• Leave you feeling like you are not enough. 

I hope that none of you ever have to deal with gaslighters in your life, but it is always good to be on the lookout for their ridiculous methods of manipulation, because as I said earlier, they are often very hard to detect.
If you do suspect that you are being gaslighted, make sure that you document any interactions as evidence. Setting up clear boundaries around what you will not tolerate will help you to document and identify when someone is gaslighting you. You will need very good evidence if you are going to try and out a gaslighter. Remember, gaslighters are sly, manipulative and methodical so you will need to be ahead of them at every step if you want to gain the upper hand or expose them. 
Also, don't forget to reaffirm your own self worth and what it is that you are good at. Doing this will help to combat any lingering doubts about your skills or sanity that a gaslighter might have tried to instill in you, and please seek support if you cannot manage this on your own. Remember, gaslighting is real and effective, that's why manipulative people use this method, so don't downplay the severity or the implications around it. Call it out, talk about it and stamp it out, gaslighting is nothing more than adult bullying and no-one should have to put up with it!

I have no idea how December just suddenly arrived. Actually, I have no idea what happened to this year in general, it just doesn't feel like we are reaching the end of another year. And what a year it has been, talk about the best of times and the worst of times... it's been a year of complete polarities and I really haven't processed all of the goings on properly yet, and I more than likely won't now until the school term ends in three weeks time. 
That being said, there is nothing like being busy to distract one from all worry and strife, so the hectic state of December poses some welcome this year for me and in all honesty I am looking forward to the days falling away at the unrelenting pace that they will from here on in. Let them go I say, let the year end! I am ready to gain a fresh start and shake off 2019 like an old winter coat. I am looking forward to a long summer break full of of pointless novels, cocktail concoctions, midnight movie marathons and unlimited meditation and yoga sessions. Looking forward to it? Hell, I am craving it!  
The Christmas tree has gone up here and even thought the festive decorations have been strewn about the house, it still feels completely surreal and unbelievable to think that Christmas is only 24 days away. I have barely even acknowledged the concept of Christmas shopping, which feels not only premature but also somewhat overwhelming to me at the moment. It might be a good year to do all of my Christmas shopping online which would save me the gauntlet of fake santas, antsy people, tired kids, overstocked shops, horrific Christmas music and general indecision. No-one will care if I am procrastinating online with my gift choices and I can do it in my pajamas on a Sunday morning from the comfort of my bed which is also a pretty huge bonus!  
However, to be honest I am finding that I am struggling to find the time to do much of anything lately. I have been dreadfully neglectful of Spicywatch and have been blogging only half as much as I would like to. I have a stockpile of unwatched movies, TV series, audio books and podcasts that would be considered ridiculous to anyone but myself. My garden basically looks like jungle and my veggie patch has either gone to seed or gone to God; and everywhere that I look I see things that are needing my attention but I am just not interested in doing any of it. And it's weird because I am not depressed, sad or anything like that, I am just not as motivated as I usually am. I am...hmmm... the best way that I can put it is that I am just 'going along for the ride.' 
And I suppose that sometimes it is not a bad thing to just 'go along for the ride' but it isn't something that I do very often and it is weird to feel so damn unenthusiastic when I am usually quite the opposite. And I do understand full well that this state won't last forever, and that it is probably just the acceptance stage of my grieving that is causing me to feel this way, which is totally natural and doesn't require me to overthink or even address it but to just 'go along with it.' 
And so I shall, I will just go with it and allow the silly season to take me wherever it may. Everything else can wait until I have more free time and a renewed sense of motivation, which will return to me eventually, but for now I shall relax my mind and gently float downstream...there's no need to swim against the current right now.