You could easily be forgiven for thinking that the world is in complete anarchy right now. Ever since COVID-19 spread it's grimy infectious fingers across the globe, it does feel like we have been in a state of constant drama and tragedy around the world. It has literally been one thing after another, just a continuous barrage of hateful behaviour, natural disaster and pandemic mayhem on mass. It has put everyone into a constant state of flight or fight and it is becoming increasingly hard to find any peace, joy or whimsy in the world at the moment.  However, as I enter my 8th lockdown at the same time as my spring holiday break commences I am determined to embrace my own happiness and find some genuine joy over the next two weeks. 
What do you do when the world goes mental around you and you've been wrangling with your own bonkers feelings lately as well? Well, honestly, you just have to go in. You have to focus on what you can control and that means a complete re-focus on the only thing that you can ever really control - yourself! You just have to throw your hands up in to the air, admit that you cannot change anything and go completely inwards and refocus on making the most of your own self. 
There is nothing like a huge dose of worldwide panic and mayhem to make you really feel like withdrawing from society and going into self preservation mode and that is exactly what I am going to be doing. Self preserving, self assessing, self guiding, self healing and most importantly pushing the button on self awareness and self control. And doing that has nothing to do with being selfish or self involved, in fact it is the complete opposite of that. I am doing the only wise thing that can be done right now, taking care of me so that I can take care of others. 
I've got it pretty great compared to so many people on the planet right now. I am healthy, I have had my COVID vaccinations, I get to lockdown in my lovely and comfortable home with plenty of good food, great company and all the creature comforts that I could ever need for a couple of weeks. That makes me one of the most fortunate people in the world. And let's not forget that I also don't have any hang ups, hates or general annoyances in my life right now because I got all of my personal gripes and issues off my chest and dealt with my demons a fortnight ago. So I literally feel completely liberated and free from burden at a time when the world appears to be falling apart all around me.
Is that weird?
Is that stupid?
Is that ignorant? 
No, it's none of those things.
It is deeply liberating and peaceful and unashamedly wonderful to be able to find joy and release at a time like this. And I say that without any malice or judgement towards anyone who isn't feeling like that and I also say it with love and understanding that not everyone is sailing through these choppy waters with a lotus flower in their teeth, sashaying about and proclaiming to be carefree and joyful. All I ask is that you don't judge or condemn me for deciding to flick the switch on my mood and mindset around the current dreadfully grim state of the world right now. 
It's not that I don't care, I do care but I am also powerless to change anything.  And I do not need to fight something that I really just need to accept. I accept that there are things that are happening in the world that are dreadful and unfair and confronting, but I also accept that I am for whatever reason very fortunate in many ways but also powerless to do anything about it. So I am shifting my own thinking and focusing on my own positive vibes. I am focusing on building my own positive energies which I am going to send out into the world. And I do hope that the people that need them the most catch will some of those vibes and find some joy in their lives again soon as well. 
Finding joy is the only think that really matters anyway -it's the meaning of life for goodness sake, so learn to accept what you can't change and learn to manage yourself. It's probably the best thing that most of us can do for the world right now. 

DON'T WORRY, HE WON'T GET FAR ON FOOT
Release Date: 2018
Rating: M
Running Time: 114 mins 
An art house, comedy-drama directed by Gus Van Sant and based upon the memoir of the same name by John Callahan; Don't Worry, He Won't Get Far On Foot was an unexpectedly inspiring and enjoyable watch. This film left me with a delightfully warm and life affirming feeling, and it also delivered some of the strongest performances of the year as well.
Alcoholic cartoonist  John Callahan (Joaquin Phoenix) becomes a paraplegic after a  drunken car accident. Now Callahan has to try and discover new meaning and purpose in his life as an artist, an alcoholic and a paraplegic. 
It's the genuine and heartfelt way that this film is delivered that sticks with you.  The cast are so good and so believable and the onscreen relationships feel plausible and committed. Joaquin Phoenix is a powerhouse here and he is extremely well supported by Jonah Hill, Rooney Mara and Jack Black. In fact Jonah Hill's performance is so amazing that he virtually eclipses Phoenix whenever they are onscreen together, that man can seriously deliver tenderness and compassion!
I just loved this film. I loved the hopefulness, the humanity and the life affirming conversations and considerations that occurred throughout. It's a delightful story that is definitely worth a look. 
FINAL SAY: It is hard teaching people faith.
4 Chilli Peppers ​

I'm not sure what the hell is going on with me at the moment. It could be a side effect of lockdown, it could be that I am tired of feeling like an irrelevant shit kicker and it might be none of those things at all. Maybe it is just the season of the witch - who knows really? Whatever is going on, I have become absolutely incapable of putting up with being treated disrespectfully.  
Maybe when you get to my age you start to think that it is high time to throw caution to the wind and be honest about how you feel. Now I do realise that in becoming especially vocal about your needs and wants (particularly when you are a female of a certain of age) that you can present yourself as a menopausal, troublesome, problematic bitch. And to be honest I am also okay with that as well because how other people choose to perceive me is actually way more about them than it is about me anyway, and I can honestly say that I am not calling anyone out on anything that I wouldn't be comfortable to be called out on myself. 
What I have been doing is setting some pretty clear boundaries around what I am comfortable with, what I will not tolerate and how would prefer to be spoken to. I do this without any malice or entitlement or intent to harm others. I do this because it is something that I believe that everyone should be doing and it is something that I need to do for myself in order to feel self empowered and clearly interpreted.  If anyone should take this as me being a tenacious bitch to them, well that is unfortunate for them.
You see what I have learned from all the lockdowns and the general 'pandemic-stricken' state of the world is that people are really not very concerned with anyone else's lot in life, not genuinely anyway. They will say that they are and they will ask all the right questions but when push comes to shove, rarely do people actually have your back or best interests at the forefront of their thinking. They are far too occupied with their own lot in life and I am totally okay with that - it's fine and reasonable and I have no ill feelings around any of that. But what it does mean is that if you aren't willing to stand up for your own welfare you will get overlooked, mistreated and disrespected. 
Now this kind of treatment is not happening because people set out to treat you like a piece of shit, it just happens because people are so busy in their own affairs that they don't realise that they are treating you like a piece of shit. I get that, I know that I have unintentionally been shitty to people myself because I have gotten pre-occupied in my own dramas and dilemmas. And hey, if a pandemic is not a good enough reason to get caught up in your own shit, then what is right? 
I understand why it happens and I get why it happens, but I also know without a shadow of doubt that if you don't stand up for yourself and put some boundaries in place around the way that people can treat you, then you will be setting yourself up for more bullshit as things progress. Please sir may I have another? No, no, no - don't mind my shattered feelings in any of this or consider my personal hardships, you just keep on wiping your dirty hands on my back as you roll on by.  I got this!
Well, sorry I don't got this! None of has got this! And I am tired of all the bullshit! I am so tired of people going off half cocked and treating people like they don't matter or aren't important. WE ARE ALL IN THIS SHITTY PANDEMIC! All of us, and we all have our own personal struggles and challenges to face being in the world right now.  If the only kindness that you can deliver right now is to yourself then do that, just don't treat everyone around you like a piece of shit in the process. 
Can't say anything nice? Then don't say anything at all! Don't like how things are going? Try telling someone who can actually do something about it instead of whinging and being sour all the time. Need some help? Fucking ask for some then! This will all go along a heck of a lot easier if people would just own their shit, set some boundaries and be a bit frickin' nicer all around. Yes, I know I am being short and blunt and yes, you can call me tenacious B if that feels right for you, but please, I implore you, try a little tenderness! Show some respect and decency to your fellow humankind.
​It's really not that difficult. 

BURNING
Release Date: 2018
Rating: MA 15+ 
Running Time: 158 mins 
A Korean psychological thriller co-written, co- produced and directed by Lee Chang-dong. Based on the short story "Barn Burning" by Haruki Murakami, this movie subtly twists and turns around itself, winding faster and faster all the way to the end of the film, delivering one of the most riveting and ambiguous narratives that I have seen in very long time. 
Jong-su falls for his childhood friend Hae-mi and the two start an intimate relationship. Hae-mi leaves for Africa and asks Jong-su to care for her mysteriously elusive cat in her absence. When Hae-mi returns she has a new man in her life, a wealthy and unusual character called Ben. 
If you are looking for some contemplation, then look no further because Burning provides ponderous interludes in bucket loads. The cast are amazing, with Ah-In Yoo and Jong-seo Jun delivering equally strong and captivating performances, however it was Steven Yeun's eerie portrayal of Ben that had me most intrigued.
You may have some unfulfilled questions when the film reaches its end, depending on how you interpret the material; or like me, you might feel like it all came together perfectly. And I think that is actually the biggest charm of this film - its just so open to interpretation. 
FINAL SAY: They are called the great hungry. 
3.5 Chilli Peppers ​

There has been a pretty significant boom in origin story movies over the last 10 years and for good reason. A great origin story is a powerful tool for explaining how things landed where they have and it can really help viewers to fill in the gaps when it comes to character development and motivation. A good origin film will highlight the start of a mission or vision and will build a sense of understanding and loyalty when it comes to a character's archetype.
Therefore, it is not surprising that in our comic obsessed world that a lot of comic book characters have been given their own origin story movies. However, we are now also seeing a slew of origin tales being released that are not just comic based, some of which are even being developed into full 10 episode television series. And I supposed that it has prompted me to wonder whether all of these origin stories are really all that necessary?
Ultimately, the answer lies in one simple question: What kind of characters really do deserve to have a origin story made about them? In my mind, the types of characters that deserve to have an origin story (or prequel) are the ones that we feel like we want to understand better than we have been able to so far. If there is nothing to be gained or explained from going back to the source of it all, then I would say that means that there is no need for an origin tale about that character.
Furthermore, if a director decides to do an origin tale then they cannot afford to half arse the story; in short - if you are going to tell it you have to tell it all, respectfully and faithfully to any previously established information. I have wasted precious time watching origin films that were not only underwhelming in their delivery but also undermined previously developed storyline and character arcs by changing the game. The worst ones of all didn't add anything to what I had already gleaned from previous films and left me feeling less connected to the storyline or character by the end, which is just completely pointless filmmaking in my opinion. 
However, when an origin film is made well, it is a pleasure to watch and it will deliver some much needed insight into a character's psyche and behaviour, evolve plot lines and elevate the story telling to greater heights. And to that kind of origin movie, I say a very loud yes! 
Here are my top ten favourite origin films that really got the recipe right, proving that sometimes when we go back, we can actually move very far forward with our understanding.

1. The Hobbit : An Unexpected Journey 
2. The Godfather 2 
3. Casino Royale 
4. Back to the Future 
5. Red Dragon  
6. Kill Bill Vol 2 
7. Joker 
8. X-Men: First Class 
9. Monsters University
10. Cruella 

As we approach lockdown 7.0 in rural Victoria (yep we had a 6.0 lockdown that I failed to even mention on my blog because it was only for 4 days) it is time to muster up some strength and fortitude from the already dry wells of our tired and weary souls. And what I have learned about myself and others from all of these lockdowns is that we are all a lot more physically, mentally and emotionally stronger than we allow ourselves to think that we are. And when our personal wells appear to have run dry, they may not have actually run as dry as you may have first thought. 
When it comes to physical endurance and strength, no-one does it better than elite athletes. They understand that there is a very clear relationship between one's mind and one's ability to keep on going even when your body has grown extremely fatigued. A fascinating study was conducted around this by researchers at Northumbria University in England. They got a number of cyclists to pedal as fast as they could on stationary bikes for a couple of miles and encouraged them to go as hard as they could. 
They then split the group into two separate groups. Both groups were then sat in front of a computer screen on stationary bikes and were told that they would be racing against the cyclist on the screen. The first group were told that the cyclist on the screen was travelling at their previously best time but it was actually performing 2% faster than their best time. And the second group were told that the rider was 2% faster than their previous best. And guess who did better? The first group did better and matched the 2% faster rider where as the second group only matched their previously best rides and failed to keep up with the avatar because they had already perceived the bar to be too high before they started. 
So what is going on in this study? Well, while an athlete certainly does need to consider their muscles, heart and lungs when it comes to their physical endurance it would also appear that they need to consider their mind set  as well before they go into a race or competition. Mind plays a very crucial role in the way that our bodies will perform and what we allow ourselves to believe that we can endure. In short, our brain is lazy and by saying things like "I can't do this anymore" or "I'm done" or "I need to tap out" we offer ourselves an exit and sometimes our brain goes there sooner than we really need to. 
And just as our brains can tell us that we are too tuckered out to complete physical tasks, it can also do the same with mental tasks and emotional tasks, tapping us out way sooner than we need to. Our brains allow us to perceive things to be bad before they even really are, and this is often the case with repeated lockdowns.  Thoughts like 'I hated it last time' or 'this will last forever' or 'I just can't go another round' often lead us into unnecessary prediction cycles where we are catastrophising and panicking about things that may not even occur. If history has taught us anything, it's that things are transient and changeable, so assuming that it will  be the same all over again is not only unrealistic but it's also feeding our brains the wrong message. 
Now in all fairness to our brains, it is lazy and anxious for a reason, it's harking back to a basic and outdated survival program that we all have inside of us that would've kept us alive once upon a time, but those times have changed and now that mode just wears us out and makes us feel stressed out.  So you have to bypass and dig deep so that you can gain access to those well guarded reserves of strength that you have hidden within you. 
The first step in doing this is to call your brains bluff. When it starts to read out a negative script shut the thought down immediately and replace it with a positive mantra like "I am strong" or "I can do this." Studies have proven that the efficacy of motivational self talk will not only make uncomfortable or challenging tasks less difficult but it will also give you more vigour to complete them in a more efficient and accurate way.
I do understand that emotional challenges are a little more difficult to overcome and often a lot more complicated and telling yourself to buck up when you're feeling depressed isn't exactly going to make your well-spring flood over with fortitude. However, from personal experience, if you are feeling like that, the best place to start is to share your experience with someone who may have already been through something similar to you and come out the other side of it. People who have overcome their own well drying up and been able to replenish it will usually have a wealth of knowledge to share and can be a wonderful bolster during challenging times like these. So don't be afraid to share the load with others and be willing to be transparent about the way that you are feeling. 
Above all else, never forget that this too shall pass and whether you are feeling physically, mentally or emotionally drained about the prospect of yet another lockdown and you feel like you just can't go on, well don't believe that lie, tell that lie to go and fuck off! Dig deeper into your well and you'll be surprised what you may find in reserve down there. You are stronger than you think that you are! 

FORD V FERRARI
Release Date: 2019 
Rating: M 
Running Time: 152 mins 
Unlike many other American sports films, you don't actually need to be invested in the sport to get a lot out of this film. And I know this first hand because I know absolutely nothing about car racing and yet I still thoroughly enjoyed this movie because it is just as much about the dynamic personalities as it is about racing.  Directed by James Mangold and written by Jez Butterworth, Ford v Ferrari received worldwide critical acclaim and appraise and was even nominated for Best Picture at the 92nd Academy Awards. 
In 1963, Enzo Ferrari personally insults Henry Ford's heir - the owner of the Ford Motor Company. In retaliation, a furious Ford Jnr decides to create his own racing division with plans to beat Ferrari at Le Mans. In order to this, they hire former Le Mans winner Carroll Shelby to head the task, who in turn enlists Ken Miles, a hot headed Brit to assist him. 
At 2.5 hours running time you would expect that this film would get boring for anyone that isn't interested in car racing, but nothing could be further from the truth. This is a genuinely interesting real life tale that is delivered perfectly by Matt Damon who plays Shelby and Christian Bale who portrays Miles. The onscreen friendship here is delightful to watch and both actors are bringing their charisma and energy to this movie in buckets, making it a genuinely engrossing and enjoyable watch. 
FINAL SAY: You're gonna build a car to beat Ferrari with....a Ford? 
3.5 Chilli Peppers ​

The 73rd Emmys awards ceremony will be celebrating excellence in television in just over a month from now. The Emmys always gets me thinking about the best television that I have been experiencing and always gives me a range of TV material to put on to my own 'must see' lists. 
If you haven't checked out the line up yet, here are the TV programs that gained the most attention overall this time around that are also nominated for an Emmy:
Comedy series
“black-ish”
“Cobra Kai”
“Emily in Paris”
“The Flight Attendant”
“Hacks”
“The Kominsky Method”
“PEN15"
“Ted Lasso”

Limited series
“I May Destroy You”
“Mare of Easttown”
“The Queen’s Gambit”
“The Underground Railroad”
“WandaVision”

Drama series
“The Boys”
“Bridgerton”
“The Crown”
“The Handmaid’s Tale”
“Lovecraft Country”
“The Mandalorian”
“Pose”
“This Is Us”

TV movie
“Dolly Parton’s Christmas on the Square”
“Oslo”
“Robin Roberts Presents: Mahalia”
“Sylvie’s Love”
“Uncle Frank”

Variety special (prerecorded)
“Bo Burnham: Inside”
“David Byrne’s American Utopia”
“8:46 — Dave Chappelle”
“Friends: The Reunion”
“Hamilton”
“A West Wing Special to Benefit When We All Vote”

Animated program
“Big Mouth”
“Bob’s Burgers”
“Genndy Tartakovsky’s Primal”
“The Simpsons”
“South Park: The Pandemic Special”

Variety sketch series
“A Black Lady Sketch Show”
“Saturday Night Live”

Competition series
“The Amazing Race”
“Nailed It!”
“RuPaul’s Drag Race”
“Top Chef”
“The Voice”

Variety talk series
“Conan”
“The Daily Show With Trevor Noah”
“Jimmy Kimmel Live!”
“Last Week Tonight With John Oliver”
“The Late Show With Stephen Colbert”

Do I personally think that anything got snubbed this year that should've made the list? Well, I am no expert but I do think that the following shows were all worthy of a nomination and deserved a lot more attention, so let's give them an honourable shout out right now:

• It's a Sin
• The Good Lord Bird 
• Small Axe
• Behind Her Eyes 
• Resident Alien
• What We Do the Shadows S2 
• High Fidelity 

Anyway, maybe some of them fell outside of the cut off date and will get their moment of glory sometime in the future. And hopefully you will be able to find something on these lists that is worthy of your own viewing time or to add to your own 'must see' list.
As always dear readers, happy viewing. 

HOST
Release Date: 2020
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 57 mins 
Directed by Rob Savage in his first feature length debut and released on Shudder streaming, Host is different from regular horror films for a number of reasons. Firstly, it is only 57 minute long which is too long to be a short and too short to be a full fledged feature film, so it is unique in that way. Secondly, it was released, shot and edited during the 2020 COVID-19 pandemic lockdown period and the characters in the film reflect that by wearing masks, social distancing and engaging in Zoom meetings to touch base with each other which makes the content feel quite realistic. In fact, a lot of the movie does have an unscripted, almost improvised vibe to it, which in my opinion greatly assists in carrying the scare levels to greater heights. 
A group of six friends decide to perform a séance together whilst they are in an online Zoom meeting with the assistance of a qualified medium. It isn't long before everyone in the meeting begins to sense that something supernatural is occurring and escalating quickly. 
This isn't the first time that a horror movie has been based around sinister online interactions, but it easily the best and most unique version of its kind.  The virtually unknown actors are all really convincing and the overall delivery is so authentic that you cannot help but feel unnerved as the awful events unfold. 
Hardly a game changer, but at 57 minutes Host delivers some decent and plausible scares for half the run time of regular horror films. 
FINAL SAY:  Please take it seriously tho and be respectful. 
3.5 Chilli Peppers ​

Anxiety disorders are no joke, they are real and they can have some very serious medical side effects. Just as serious as heart disease or diabetes in fact and anxiety disorders are now the most common and pervasive mental disorders that we are seeing around the world. The term 'anxiety disorder' refers to specific psychiatric disorders that involve extreme fear or worry and they can range from general to moderate anxieties to serious phobias, disorders and panic attacks. 
Panic attacks occur when a person with anxiety finds it difficult to control their worry and they suffer from an intense fear or discomfort that reaches a peak within minutes. This level of anxiety affects millions of people across the globe and women are more than twice as likely to be affected. Panic attacks can build up gradually over a long period of time and then strike with great force out of the blue, which makes them even more upsetting when they do occur. 
Generally, if you are having a panic attack you will present with at least four of these symptoms at one time:

• Palpitations, pounding heart or an accelerated heart rate.
• Sweating.
• Trembling or shaking.
• Sensations of shortness of breath or smothering.
• Feeling like you are choking.
• Chest pains or discomfort. 
• Nausea or abdominal distress.
• ​Feeling dizzy, unsteady, light-headed or faint.
• Chills or heat sensations.
• Paraesthesia.
• Derealization or depersonalization. 
• Fear of losing control or going crazy.
• Fear of dying. 

Although anxiety is often accompanied by physical symptoms, such as racing heart or knots in the stomach, what differentiates a panic attack from other anxiety symptoms is the intensity and the duration of the symptoms. Panic attacks typically reach their peak level in 10 minutes or less and then begin to subside. Due to the intensity of the symptoms and their tendency to mimic those of heart disease, thyroid problems, breathing disorders and other significant illnesses, people with panic disorders often make several visits to emergency rooms or the doctors convinced that they have life threatening illnesses. 
Panic attacks are extremely unpleasant and can be frightening for sufferers. As a result, people who experience them repeatedly often become worried about having another one and this can increase anxiety even further.  But fear not because help is at hand. If you think that you may be suffering from panic attacks or any other form of anxiety that is making your life a challenge you can start by checking out this website. You will find a self test check in, some excellent self help resources and information and some links to get further support if you think that you may need it. 
We live in challenging times and anxiety is definitely on the rise. If you are concerned, then please do reach out for support, nobody should suffer from anxiety alone. 

NOBODY
Release Date: 2021 
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 92 mins 
An American action thriller directed by Ilya Naishuller and written by Derek Kolstad that delivers a short, sharp, action packed punch to the senses. It may not be breaking any new ground when it comes to storyline but it does deliver an enjoyable, violent romp that is strengthened greatly by Bob Odenkirk's fabulous delivery. 
When seemingly average family man Hutch Mansell's house is broken to by a couple of armed thugs, he is happy to let them leave peacefully to preserve the wellbeing of his family. However, what the thieves don't know, is who Hutch Mansell really is and how their actions have now ignited a violent chain of events that no-one could have predicted. 
The cast throughout is solid, with Connie Nielsen, Christopher Lloyd and Michael Ironside all delivering strong supports but this film is 100% Bob Odenkirk's and he plays Hutch Mansell with such a calm, cool disposition that he gives John Wick a run for his money. I had a lot of fun watching this, its fast and its amusing and it is just the right length for an action thriller. 
FINAL SAY: Give me the goddamn kitty cat bracelet, motherfucker!
3.5 Chilli Peppers ​

I recently read a really a beautiful piece of writing called Things My Mother Didn't Tell Me But Should Have by the British poet, author and teacher Warsan Shire. The writing came to me just after I had watched the movie Never Rarely Sometimes Always and it felt like the two forms of art were in some ways almost talking to each other about the challenges of being a young woman in the world today.  I also really loved the piece of writing so much that I just wanted to share it with you all, perhaps it will reach someone at the right moment if I pass it along. 

Never give any kind of pleasure to a boy you wouldn't give to yourself.

Kiss like a promise and wait for the other person to break it. 

Human beings are not ships, you cannot save them from sinking if they don't want to be rescued from the floodwaters. 

Loving someone that doesn't give a damn about you isn't sexy: it's misplaced energy, also known as self-destruction. 

Don't ever treat anyone like a refugee from a civil war; they will come back from battle and leave you as wounded as if you were the one who had been paid for military service.

Forgiveness isn't putting the weapon down; it's learning how to kiss the person pulling the trigger, not just a quick peck on the cheek, but a full one with tongue. 

Let the dead be dead. 
They have no answering machines, no phonelines:
if you call them, only the ground will ring.

Never trust a boy who already packed condoms ready in his coat pocket before he even asks your name.

When the world tries to break your back with its weight, get a stronger spine. 

Your father left us because he was ashamed for not being the one that gave birth to you. 

Even oceans misplace their anchors sometimes. 

Never give a man permission, you shouldn't have to. It should be mutual. 

Stop treating your body like currency - don't pay anyone who doesn't deserve it.  

NEVER RARELY SOMETIMES ALWAYS 
Release Date: 2020
Rating: M
Running Time: 101 mins 
Written and directed by Eliza Hittman, this candid and honest portrayal of a teenagers struggle with an unwanted pregnancy is seriously affecting. After its release at the Sundance Film Festival in January of 2020, Never Rarely Sometimes Always was selected to compete for a Golden Bear Award. The film won the Silver Bear Grand Jury Prize and has since received unanimous acclaim from critics and viewers alike. 
Autumn Callahan is seventeen and has just discovered that she is pregnant. Without anyone to confide in except for her cousin Skylar, the two girls embark on a trip to New York to try and find a solution to Autumn's problem. 
This film is unsettling from start to end, but it is also an extremely realistic portrayal of the challenges and burdens that many young girls face in todays current climate. 
The casting here is perfect with Sidney Flanigan and Talia Ryder delivering believable degrees of strength and fragility in their challenging roles as vulnerable small town girls in the city. The entire film teeters continually between tender and troubling but it also feels so true and genuine; making it powerfully unforgettable.
FINAL SAY: I want to make sure that you're safe. 
4 Chilli Peppers ​

As lockdown 5.0 extends for more days than any of us would have liked or could have predicted, I continue to search for happy distraction in my life. So far  I have cooked, exercised, cleaned, sketched, meditated and baked away some of my free time in an endeavour to not be glued to the screen for hours on end.
God knows that there are literally thousands of movies on my 'to see' list not to mention the numerous TV series that I could dive head first into right now but as I said, that does mean a lot of screen time, and when you are already average around 5 films a week, you need to have other outlets.
​Thankfully, I also like nothing better on a cold winter's day than curling up with a good book. I like to listen to audio books and I also like to sit and relax with a good old fashioned print novel as well, I will take my books in any form and I try to get through at least a couple of books a month, regardless of the weather.
During this particularly frigid spat of weather that we are experiencing in Western Victoria right now and the lockdown restrictions keeping everyone at home for most of the time, it's good to have something lovely to do. Reading for me, is one of those lovely things. A great book, a big cuppa and a comfy couch...hmmm, simply heaven and a terrific way to pass a few lockdown hours away on the weekend. 
So what would I recommend for a good, cosy Winter read? Well, I have made a list of the 10 best books to read yourself and the 10 best audio books that I have listened to on Audible in the last 2 years for you to consider. All of the ones to read to yourself are also probably available in audio format if you like to read on the go, the choice of how to digest the material is of course completely up to you. 
All of these books are excellent and will provide you with a fabulous distraction from any lockdown annoyances, happy reading/listening!
​READ TO YOURSELF:

• Where the Crawdads Sing by Delta Owens
• Think Like a Monk by Jay Shetty
• Honeybee by Craig Silvey
• Circe by Madeline Miller 
• Ready Player Two by Ernest Cline 
• Dark Emu by Bruce Pascoe 
• Howl's Moving Castle by Diana Wynne Jones 
• Boy Swallows Universe by Trent Dalton 
• Educated by Tara Westover 
• Modern Love by Aziz Ansari 

LISTEN TO IN AUDIOBOOK FORM:

• Mexican Gothic by Silvia Moreno-Garcia (Narrated by Frankie Corzo) 
• Working Class Boy by Jimmy Barnes (Narrated by Jimmy Barnes on Audible) 
• Bunny by Mona Awad (Narrated by Sophie Amos) 
• Norse Mythology by Neil Gaiman (Narrated by Neil Gaiman on Audible) 
• So You've Been Publicly Shamed by Jon Ronson (Narrated by Jon Ronson on Audible) 
• The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath  (Narrated by Maggie Gyllenhaal on Audible) 
• Slaughter House Five by Kurt Vonnegut Jnr. (Narrated by James Franco on Audible) 
• The Rules of Backyard Cricket by Jock Serong (Narrated by Rupert Degas on Audible) 
• Teresa Raquin  by Emilie Zola (Narrated by Kate Winslet on Audible) 
• Daisy Jones and the Six by Taylor Jenkins Reid  (Various Narrators on Audible) 

We didn't even manage to get a full week in to the new school term before old Dan Andrews slapped another round of lockdown on us poor Victorians. Lockdown 5.0 is what everyone is calling this one and with numbers escalating around the country at a rapid and scary rate, lord only know how long this one will last for?
To be honest, I am not really an anxious person and after this many lockdowns I'm kind of like, yep bring it on. Or as Vicky Pollard from Little Britain would be saying at this stage 'I'm not bothered' about it at all.  If locking down is what we need to do then let's just do it and get it done. 
This latest lockdown was the result of two furniture removal guys travelling from Sydney to South Australia and having a lovely little stop off in Victoria and smearing their COVID19 hands across the state on the way. And there was also a family who broke border restrictions and came down to us from Sydney and brought with them...yep you guessed it - COVID19, the Delta Strain. Bless their hearts right? And that's all it takes, a couple of people not complying and boom - we are back to where we started all over again.
​However, for the first time ever it's not Victoria being blamed for another outbreak, it's poor NSW who is copping it royally this time, with numbers in the hundreds every day and rising. We as Victorians know exactly how this feels and it is just awful and tremendously scary. And naming and shaming the culprits who delivered a fresh batch of hell back to our doorsteps doesn't really change the fact that COVID19 is back in our lives and lockdown again we must. 
​Last year Victoria saw 820 deaths from COVID19 and we were in lockdown for almost four months and in that time we saw over 7,000 people become infected, it was not fun and Victorians remember that horror show and are more than happy to lockdown and do whatever it takes to stop that happening again.  We are bloody lockdown experts now!
Since the first confirmed case of the virus was detected in Australia in January of 2020 we have had 31,771 cases and 914 deaths to date. Which may not seem like many when compared to other parts of world but we certainly don't want any more deaths. Across the globe there have now been 190 million cases and 4.08 million deaths with the worst effected countries being the United State, India, Brazil, Russia and France. The United States alone has had 34 million cases and 608 thousand deaths, which is just mind boggling but there is the true power of Trump leadership for you, a total shit stain on the history of America forever. That country will take generations to recover from the impact of COVID19 and his bullshit leadership.
So, when we compare ourselves to the rest of the world we aren't doing so bad but we don't want to gain credit for having less infections, we just want to look after our fellow citizens and our own wellbeing. Locking down costs money, I get it but the cost of lives is far greater than any amount of money. Every economy across the world is being hit hard by COVID19 but it is only by putting people first that we can defeat this relentless and highly adaptable virus. 
So we forge forward into the great unknown lockdown predicament of 'Lockdown 5.0', not knowing how long it will last or how far it will spread but knowing that we have nothing to fear if we just do the right thing and stay home for as long as it takes. Thank god for streaming services right now that's all I'm going to say. 

FEAR STREET TRILOGY:
Part One - 1994
Part Two - 1978
Part Three - 1666
Release Date: 2021
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 330 mins total 
Based on the Fear Street books written by R.L. Stine, this horror trilogy  directed by Leigh Janiak hits some high notes with its ode to old school horror slasher films. There are Easter eggs galore for fans of retro horror and the storyline that ties the trilogy together is pretty intriguing and generally well executed. 
Welcome to Shadyside, a town that has been plagued with a string of grisly murders for centuries. A group of teenagers accidently unearth and awaken an ancient evil, something powerful that has been buried deep but can no longer remain hidden. The teens unwittingly become involved in uncovering a truth that will change the town forever. 
Is this a perfect formula? Of course not, it's a slasher trilogy, but on that front it does deliver. With a mixture of A Nightmare on Elm Street, Friday the 13th, Halloween and The Witch all rolled into one, Fear Street brings something known but also missing from our screens since the early 90's and I had a lot of fun watching these with my teenage son.
​The cast is a likeable mix of fresh faced 'not so teenage' teens (would we expect anything else from a slasher trilogy?) and the soundtracks for all three films are honestly, completely awesome!
Released by Netflix over the course of three weeks, the Fear Street trilogy is a fun horror romp that doesn't fail to satisfy. 
FINAL SAY: Before the witch's final breath, she found a way to cheat her death. By cutting off her cursed hand, she kept her grip upon our land. 
3.5 Chilli Peppers ​

I have come to the end of another school holiday break and I am feeling exceptionally satisfied with the amount of things that I have squeezed into my time. It's quite amazing just how many things you can get done when you have some extra day time hours away from work to get things in order and also tackle a lengthy and much neglected 'to do' list. 
This winter break I have successfully :

• Hosted three guests for overnight stays at Enfield 
• Visited my mother and helped her to get some of her affairs in order
• Been to the hairdresser
• Had brunch with a friend
• Read a book
• Got my first Pfizer immunisation
• Had dinner at a restaurant with friends 
• Got my car serviced
• Listened to an audio book
• Went to the dentist for a check up
• Had my eyebrows done
• Had morning tea with a friend
• Watched a movie everyday 
• Hosted a dinner party
• Had lunch with a friend
• Went to see a specialist with Seth 
• Made an appointment to get my tax done
• Went clothes shopping 
• Chatted on the phone to family and friends

And I don't want to brag too much but while I'm on a roll I will just say that I still managed to meditate, do yoga, write in my journal, brain train, practise French and get in 10,000 steps every day as well. Not a bad effort at all and now you know why I feel so satisfied about how I've used my time. It was a productive and lovely break and I have genuinely appreciated every moment that I have had to share with my friends and family and all of the lovely things that I have had extra time to indulge myself in. 
I have managed to get six months worth of 'to do' list items sorted in two short weeks and I feel so ready to face the second half of the year now.  All of my happiness chemicals are also firing on full reboot because of the activities that I have engaged in these holidays. I got my dopamine (the reward chemical) kicking over by completing tasks and doing self care activities.  I got my oxytocin (the love hormone) stimulated through my friend and family time. My serotonin (the mood stabiliser) got a recharge from all of the meditation. yoga and nature walking. And my endorphins (pain relief) were ignited from all of the laughter, good food and wine and the extremely pleasant time that I spent  curled up in my favourite chair with a delicious coffee, excellent smelling incense burning and a bit of good quality dark chocolate whilst watching movies or reading. Talk about the perfect way to re-energise your senses and spend the darkest days of winter - so utterly delightful!

​THE LIFE AQUATIC WITH STEVE ZISSOU
Release Date: 2004
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 119 mins 
Another Wes Anderson tale of the weird, the wonderful and the awkward; The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou is a parody-homage to the great French diving pioneer Jacques-Yves Cousteau. Filled with all manner of unusual characters and occurrences, this film flies in the face of conventional comedy by being eccentrically funny and whimsically ironic. 
After his best friend Esteban du Plantier is brutally killed by a supposedly mythical 'Jaguar Shark', renown oceanographer and documentarian Steve Zissou vows revenge. A motley crew join Zissou on his research vessel Belfonte to assist with the tracking and documenting of this dangerous mission -  to find and destroy the Jaguar Shark. 
In true Anderson style, this is really wacky stuff, there are plenty of things happening on and off the camera that are so random and odd that you can't help laughing. I especially adored Pele dos Santos, the safety expert that also happens to be a Brazilian musician who sings David Bowie songs in Portuguese, acoustically throughout the film, gold! 
FINAL SAY: It's a documentary! It's all really happening! 
3 Chilli Peppers

Said you say
You wanna be alone
But someone loves you more than you know
Breath slow
'Cause you don't know
You don't know
'Cause you don't know
All the things that could set you free
Like embracing me....

No, unfortunately I didn't write those beautiful words, they are from the song Embracing Me by Safia which happens to be one of my favourite songs. I often think of those lyrics when I need a bit of healing or comfort. I recall all of the really great embraces that I have had in my lifetime and how great they all made me feel. Some of those hugs came from my husband and children, some from my parents, some from my friends and some days I have even embraced myself. 
Embracing yourself looks a little different than just stretching out your arms and wrapping them around yourself, although this too can offer a great deal of comfort when the need arises. But the comfort that I am talking about is when you embrace yourself with kindness and pleasure. Still not sure what I mean? 
Well, if you want to embrace yourself physically try these things:

• Go for a morning walk
• Hug someone for a longer than usual length of time
• Drink a glass of lemon water or some good quality herbal tea
• Stretch for 10 minutes or do yoga
• Eat a colourful plant based meal
• Take a hot bath or a cool shower
• Immerse yourself in the sun
• Apply a face mask
• Get a massage 

To embrace yourself mentally try these options:

• Read a book
• Clean out your wardrobe
• Listen to a podcast
• Write in your journal
• Do brain training or brain gym
• Plan a gathering or dinner party
• Watch a TED talk or a documentary
• Play a video game
• Try something new
• Do a puzzle
• Rearrange a room on your house

And to embrace yourself spiritually give these a try:

• Meditate
• Watch a sunrise, sunset or starry sky. 
• Sit quietly in nature
• Connect to someone you miss
• Read or write poetry
• Pray, visualise or contemplate
• Have a laugh with friends

I think you may be getting the idea at this point. And time and time again I have proven myself to be a hedonist aka pleasure seeker in this life.  And lets be honest, life is challenging and demanding and mostly unpredictable so why wouldn't you take some time to embrace the really good stuff that makes you feel more alive? And remember, if there is no-one else around for you to embrace, just embrace yourself- mind, body and soul. 

​​CHASING AMY 
Release Date: 1997
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 113 mins 
The movie that 'Silent Bob' broke his silence for. It could be seen as a bit dated these days, but when it was released, Chasing Amy had a fresh voice about the jealousies and insecurities that ruin good relationships. Written and directed by Kevin Smith (Silent Bob), Chasing Amy won two Independent Spirit Awards in 1998 and was generally received with favourable critic reviews. 
Comic book authors Banky (Jason Lee) and Holden (Ben Affleck) have been best buddies for over 20 years, but the arrival of a high spirited lesbian named Alyssa Jones (Joey Lauren Adams) threatens their friendship when Holden falls for her. Holden finds that his feelings are put to the test, not only by Banky who desperately wants Alyssa gone, but also by Alyssa's checkered and promiscuous past. 
This a great story about young people attempting to find themselves whilst trying to deal with their baggage and hang ups. I really enjoyed this movie because love does come in all kinds of packages, and some of them aren't very neat or pretty. 
FINAL SAY: So, I've spent every day since then chasing Amy. 
3.5 Chilli Peppers

It's no secret that everyone loves a big block bluster movie or even a sleeper hit or some kind of movie that is mainstream and easy and people have heard about it through word of mouth. These types of films can be great and I cannot deny that I really adore it when a movie becomes a sleeper hit in particular. However, there are so many fabulous movies that just slip thought the cracks of people's viewing and get missed all together because not enough people are talking about them.
Well, I am talking about them, constantly! More than likely annoyingly to a lot of people. I would recommend movies to people at last a dozen or more times a week and often people will say things to me like "I haven't even heard of that movie" or "Really? I thought that film looked a bit weird/ strange/ arty / scary for me to see." And it honestly kills me because a huge number of movies that never get seen are absolutely gold, some of the best and they not only deserve to be talked about,  they most definitely deserve to be seen as well.  
Below I have listed my top 10 'You Really Should Be Talking About This Film - and Probably Will Be After You Watch it' for each genre on Spicywatch.com. These are films that are very deserving of your time and attention and in my opinion (for what it's worth) definitely should've gotten a lot more attention than they did. They are not block busters or sleeper hits, they are mostly films that flew under the radar, which means that you could easily have missed them but you really shouldn't have. They are not new, in fact many are old and could probably be streamed on many different platforms for free these days. 
Full reviews can be found on the genre lists should you require more information.
Happy viewing!
DRAMA:

1. Ingrid Goes West 
2. Jungle 
3. Youth 
4. Locke
5. Short Term 12 
6. Don Jon 
7. Eighth Grade 
8. Perfume: The Story of a Murderer
9. Brothers 
10. The Station Agent

​HORROR:

1. The Vigil
2. The Lodge
3. Saint Maud
4. Mandy 
5. Frailty
6. Here Alone
7. A Dark Song
8. The House of the Devil
9. Creep
10. Hell House LLC

ACTION/CRIME/WAR:

1. Uncut Gems
2. The King
3. Good Time
4. The Bad Batch
5. Prisoners
6. End of Watch 
7. Glory
8. Children of Men
9. The Thin Red Line
10. Blood Simple

COMEDY:

1. Instant Family
2. Fighting With My Family
3. The Breaker Upperers
4. Game Night
5. Spy
6. The Grand Seduction
7. In Bruges
8. Son of Rambow
9. Kung Pow! Enter the Fist!
10. Tucker and Dale vs Evil

SCIENCE FICTION/ FANTASY:

1. Save Yourselves!
2. Predestination 
3. Moon
4. Upgrade
5. The Endless
6. Melancholia
7. Ex Machina
8. Under the Skin
9. These Final Hours
10. Sunshine 

ART HOUSE/ MUSICAL/ INTERNATIONAL:

1. The Great Beauty
2. Me and You and Everyone We Know 
3. Once
4. A Ghost Story
5. Black is King 
6. Sightseers
7. Somewhere
8. 20,000 Days on Earth
9. Kung Fu Hustle 
10. Only Lovers Left Alive 

GRITTY/ DOCO/ CHALLENGING

1. Swallow
2. The Nightingale
3. The Tale
4. Chasing Coral
5. The Weight of Elephants
6. Tyrannosaur
7. Dogtooth
8. Metal Skin
9. Birth
10. Fishtank

ROMANCE/ MATTERS OF THE HEART:

1. Film Stars Don't Die in Liverpool
2. Blue Jay
3. What If
4. Man Up
5. The One I Love
6. Bright Star
7. Labor Day
8. Ruby Sparks
9. Chasing Amy
10. Your Sister's Sister

KID FRIENDLY:

1. The Willoughbys
2. Klaus
3. Isle of Dogs
4. The Little Prince
5. Kubo and the Two Strings
6. The Boy and The Beast
7. Paranorman
8. 9
9. Hoodwinked!
10. Hugo 

Everyone has stress in their life from time to time. Some amounts of stress can be good for us, it keeps us alert, aware and on track, but too much stress can have incredibly damaging and long lasting effects on your health and wellbeing. The severity and length that you feel stressed for will depend a lot upon your ability to recognise and acknowledge your symptoms of stress before they can become too big to manage alone. 
Stress can rear it ugly head through many different physical, mental, social or emotional avenues and it will usually begin with a trigger or incident that forces your stress response to kick in.  This is commonly known as the Alarm Reaction Stage. 
The Alarm Reaction Stage refers to the initial symptoms that your body will experience when it is under stress and what you will do on auto-pilot to combat this. You may be familiar with the 'F' responses that people generally engage during the Alarm Reaction Stage. For those of you that aren't familiar with your 'F' responses they usually fit into one of these categories:
Fight - Attacking, confronting, dominating. Being angry and irritable and using insult, blame and the mistreatment of others to deal with stress. 
Flight - Run, hide, quit. Being in denial and anxious and using evasion, sabotage and purposeful rejection to deal with your stress. 
Freeze - Comply, surrender, shutdown. Being numb or empty and using detachment, rationalizing and justification to deal with your stress. 
Face - Challenge and analyse. Being calm and grounded. Using alert, aware and decisive action to deal with your stress. 
Sometimes we may use one or more of these responses when we feel stressed and that is also completely normal. Your body does these things because it is trying to keep you safe. You feel stressed, you feel anxious and your body will kick everything up a notch to keep you out of harms way. Generally before you arrive at the Face response, you will first arrive at the Resistance Stage which comes right after the Alarm Reaction Stage. 
In the Resistance Stage, after the initial shock of a stressful event and your 'F' response, your body will begin to attempt to repair itself.  It will release a lower amount of cortisol and your heart rate and blood pressure will normalize. Although your body will be in recovery, you will still be functioning on high alert. If the stressful situation diminishes your body will continue to heal itself until you are back to normal. However, if stress continues in this phase your body will attempt to learn to live with higher levels of stress and will go through changes that you're unaware of, in attempt to cope. Your body will continue to secrete the stress hormone and your blood pressure will remain elevated. You will feel irritable, frustrated and will struggle to concentrate on things. After a while you will enter the third stage of stress response - The Exhaustion Stage. 
The Exhaustion Stage is the result of prolonged or chronic stress. You will feel drained physically, emotionally and mentally to the point where your body no longer has the strength to engage your 'F' responses. You will suffer complete hopelessness and display fatigue, burnout, depression, high anxiety and an overall decreased ability to deal with even the smallest amounts of stress. Your immune system will be weakened and you'll be more prone to illness, serious diseases and ailments. 
So.... Clearly we need to have the resources and skills to be able to engage our Face 'F' response early on when dealing with a stressful scenario in order to minimise the impact to our health and wellbeing. And although it's not possible to eliminate all stress from our lives, there are things that we can do to minimise the impact that stress can have on us. 
I believe that it's vital that everyone has a sound tool kit of ways to deal with their stress, and that is going to look a little different for everyone.  Acknowledging, recognising and regularly evaluating your stress levels is a key way to ensure that you are managing your stresses before they get too large. If you do suffer from stress indicators, then it's vital that you give yourself adequate time to repair and recover during the Resistance Stage before you enter the Exhaustion Stage. 
Look at what is causing the stress that you have in your life and evaluate your need to continue with this event or action. What can you do to change things for the better? If you find that you cannot eliminate your stress then you will need to investigate methods of stress management with a health care professional which may include exercise, medication, diet, meditation and deep breathing exercises. But, whatever you do don't give up on your attempts to improve your responses to stress and do not let stress rule your life. Remember that some stress is normal but too much is not and you don't want to be a slave to your stress responses. 

Sometimes things don't turn out the way that we hoped they would.  And one of the hardest things to accept in this life (for me) is disappointment. Usually when things or people disappoint me I get quite depressed about it and then end up feeling disappointed in myself. It's a vicious cycle that I have identified within myself and every time that I go through this, it leaves me feeling extremely flat and drained. 
Unfortunately, this week I have arrived at this station. It's not a station that I have arrived at over the last year or so because I have made so many consistent and valiant efforts to prioritise my own wellbeing and mental wellness, so I am actually really disappointed to find myself here again. However, in spite of all of my hard work to remain positive and mindful since I had my operation this time last year, my wellspring of positivity has run dry for the first time. 
It actually pains me to say this, but I feel as though I have completely run dry. I feel tired and overwhelmed and teary. I feel let down by the people around me. I feel taken for granted and stretched out. I feel alone, despondent and lost. And most of all I feel really, really angry at myself for feeling any of these things because none of these things are genuine or true and my rational thinking mind knows that but for some reason my heart aches and my soul is uneasy. I am melancholic and some ghostly feelings of wanted to flee are rising within me again and I have to fight the urge to run. 
The strangest part of all are the weird dreams that I am having about dying. I have been having a reoccurring dream where I look down at myself mid-dream and suddenly realise that I am haemorrhaging buckets and buckets of blood onto the ground without even knowing that I am cut or injured. And this blood appears to be coming from deep within me but I don't know how it started or why I am even bleeding. As you would image these dreams are desperately upsetting and I always wake up from them in a state of shock. 
Are these dreams associated with my feelings of emptiness and despondency? More than likely, and perhaps these feelings of emptiness are being presented to remind me of just how full and abundant my life really is. Perhaps the blood is symbolic of my life force draining away without me even realising it was; perhaps this drain has been happening for a while and I have only now become aware of it because the well has ran dry.
​Benjamin Franklin once said - When the well's dry, we know the worth of water. And this is so very true because we do take our health and wellbeing for granted, especially our support people and our security and it is not until they are removed that we get a very clear picture of what it feels like to be without them.  Just as Johnny Diesel once sang 'you never miss your water 'til you're dry.' And now that my well feels like it has dried up I need to dig deeper to find some wet earth again and to reignite the flow of positive energy. 
One thing that all of my self help endeavours has given to me is the knowledge to understand that no state, no matter how glum or all-encompassing it may feel, is permanent or unchangeable. I also know that it is completely normal and very human to stumble and fall every now and again. It is what keeps us balanced and grateful and aware that nothing is forever, guaranteed or without its flaws and fragilities.
So if I want to cry I shall and if I want to rest I shall and if I need to heal I will. I will do these things in my own time and at my own pace; for only I can colour my rainbow, etch my silver lining and refill my own wellspring. I am responsible for me, my wellbeing and my mindset and I do not have to hold on to any of these thoughts or feelings, I just have to open my hand and let them go and the well will begin to flow again. 
​It's time to exhale completely.... and then inhale again. 

THE DRY 
Release Date: 2020
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 117 mins
An Australian drama mystery based on the novel of the same name by Jane Harper and a sweet return to great Australian cinema for me. It's been a while since I have seen such an excellent depiction of the harsh, dry Aussie landscape and The Dry manages to captures it; and the attitudes of small rural communities in Victoria with a plausible authenticity. 
Federal Agent Aaron Falk (Eric Bana) returns to his home town under the request of his childhood friend's parents. They are seeking Falk's help in the investigation around their son's death and the strange and unsettling circumstances that surround it. Falk reluctantly tries to solve the mystery of the heinous crime but finds himself dragged back into another local drama that forced him to flee the town many years ago. 
Eric Bana is brilliant as Falk and it was so good to see him back on screen again after such a long hiatus. He is well supported by Genevieve O'Reilly, John Polson and Miranda Tapsell but it cannot be denied that The Dry  is definitely held up by Bana's performance. 
Amidst the complexities of the crimes being unveiled throughout the film are some really solid messages about small town loyalties and the need for secrecy and acceptance in tight knit rural communities. The struggles of the farmers and labourers are also touched upon and the unforgiving and dangerous Aussie landscape provides a perfectly formidable backdrop to all of the drama.
FINAL SAY: The biggest secrets can never stay hidden. 
3 Chilli Peppers ​

Yep, it's another round of lockdown for all Victorians in Australia. The government are attempting to give this proposed 7 day compulsory 'shut in' a more palatable name by calling it a 'circuit breaker' lockdown which implies that it will be short. And yes, none of us can deny that the previous 5 day short lockdown in April did seem to do the trick in curbing the rising numbers and stopping the spread, but at this stage of the game I think that Victorians are just so tired of being put under restrictions again (this is our fourth one now) that they are just about ready to rampage in the streets. 
And even though I am all for a lockdown if it's going to save lives, there is absolutely no denying that we wouldn't have needed to do this again if the government hadn't been rolling out the COVID-19 vaccination  at a snails pace this year.  The vaccine has only just become eligible for 40-49 year olds, which is mine and Craig's age bracket, but when we called this weekend to organise getting the jab, the soonest date that we could muster was July 4th! That is hardly rushing things through now is it? And what about anyone under 40? They are still looking at months of waiting until they are even eligible to receive the vaccine. It's a big load of bullshit if you ask me. You cannot keep enforcing lockdowns when there is a vaccine available, people are going to riot. 
I think that the Australian government needs to focus on pouring all of its energies and equity into getting everyone in the country vaccinated, starting with all Victorians, obviously! Everyone in Melbourne and then everyone in the rural parts of Victoria, we Victorians have all endured enough lockdowns and shut ins and the fall out from is costing the government a mint, so let's just get this done for goodness sake.  We should've all been immunised by April 2021 if the government had been able to commit to it's initially planned roll out anyway. 
I do have some serious concerns about the mental wellbeing of singles, widows and isolated elderly people, not to mention the poor teenagers, the hospitalised and the first time mothers. It's just cruel being locked in for long periods of time for some people, and while introverts across Victoria may be high fiving themselves at the prospect of a super long weekend, for some this time represents another stint of loneliness, isolation and financial hardship. So, let's keep the people in our thoughts who may not find this time so easy and make sure that we are there to prop them up and support them as much as we can. Let's hold out the hope that immunisations do roll out faster and Covid-19 becomes a distant part of our history and not our current reality, sooner than later. 
And above all else, take care of yourself, your families, your health and your mental wellbeing during this challenging time. Don't be worn down by this latest setback, stay strong and most importantly stay alert because if history is anything to go by, we really don't ever  know what may be around the next corner. 

​THE MITCHELLS VS THE MACHINES
Release Date: 2021 
Rating: PG
Running Time: 113 mins 
Are you looking for an animated family movie that has both comedy and science fiction? Well, look no further because The Mitchells vs the Machines has both of those things in buckets as well as a huge ensemble voice cast, some really quirky animation techniques and a truly interesting storyline. 
A dysfunctional and unique family head out on a final 'hoo-rah' road trip together to drop their eldest child off at college. Unfortunately their plans are interrupted by a hostile robot uprising that threatens all life on Earth. 
This film is both funny and fun and delivers two terrifically interesting storyline plots simultaneously. On one hand this is a tale about redefining the meaning of family and on the other hand it's a story about an evil robot uprising.  Both storylines are great and the whole experience is enhanced by the colourful and fast paced animations and the incredible voice cast that boasts the likes of Abbi Jacobson, Danny McBride, Maya Rudolph, Eric Andre, Conan O'Brien and Olivia Coleman. 
Steaming on Netflix, The Mitchells vs the Machines is a must see for the whole family. 
FINAL SAY: The endgame has begun. 
3.5 Chilli Peppers

Spicywatch.com has just celebrated its seventh birthday! And how she has grown over the years from a humble dozen or so movies reviews when I first launched her in May 2014 to the massive 873 reviews that she now has under her belt. In the 7 years that Spicywatch has been on the internet I have had over 100,000 hits and on average, good old Spicywatch manages to rustle  up around 2500- 6500 readers a month.
So naturally, I had to celebrate the wonderful and joyful occasion of Spicywatch's 7th birthday, especially since last year I couldn't really do anything significant due to COVID-19.  So in the spirit of all things seven, I asked my guests to investigate the 7 Deadly Sins of gluttony, greed, sloth, wrath, pride, lust and envy and then choose their favourite clips from any or all of those categories to share. 
The event was a small but meaningful gathering and everyone had clearly done their research because we traversed the genres like never before. To give you some idea of the range of the movies that had a clip in the mix, check out this movie list of just some that I can recall from last night's line up. 
GLUTTONY:

• Mathilda
• Austin Powers 
• Spirited Away
• Chocolat
• Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
• Stand by Me
• The History of the World (Monty Python) 

PRIDE:

• American Psycho 
• Citizen Kane 
• Monty Python - The Holy Grail 
• The Joker 

ENVY:

• Fatal Attraction
• Eyes Wide Shut
• Howl's Moving Castle
• Moulin Rogue 
• Zoolander 
• Black Swan

LUST:

• Death Proof
• The Devil's Advocate 
• What We Do in the Shadows 
• The Witches of Eastwick
• Fatal Attraction 
• Team America 
• American Beauty 

SLOTH:

• Trainspotting
• The Goonies 
• The Big Lebowski
• Avengers: Endgame 

WRATH:

• Raging Bull
• The Shining
• Maleficent
• Office Space 
• The Lighthouse 
• Revolutionary Road
• Punch Drunk Love 
• Brothers 
• Kill Bill Vol 2
• Silver Linings Playbook

GREED:

• The Hobbit 
• There Will Be Blood
• Casino
• The Nightmare Before Christmas 
• Pocahontas 
• The Mummy 
• Marie Antoinette 

Many thanks to the few incredible souls that braved the weather to celebrate Spicywatch's birthday with me and thanks to all of my loyal readers that continue to check in, read my reviews, leave comments and support the growth of my little blog. 

Consider this:
The most important relationship that you will ever have in your lifetime is the one that you have  with yourself. 
We all have so many relationships in our lifetimes; some of them intimate, some fleeting, others from a distance and then there are others that will define and shape the person that we become.  But we rarely, if ever, consider the relationship that we have with ourselves. 
In previous posts I have talked a lot about ways that you can improve your relationship with yourself. From the importance of positive self talk and letting go of things that no longer serve you,  to protecting your energy, raising your standards and even shifting your mindset, I've pretty much covered all of the bases.
However, there is one thing that I have not yet discussed that I have discovered about successful people. They all have one really important thing in common. They all make the most of their mornings and have strict mindful morning routines with themselves to ensure that they start everyday at their absolute best. From entrepreneurs, performers and celebrities to religious figure heads and leaders across the globe; it's unanimous that a mindful morning routine is one of the most important and simple things to have in your self care toolkit. 
There is really nothing quite as powerful as the beginning of a new day to reboot our minds and give us a fresh outlook on the day ahead. And best of all, you don't even have to be rising with the morning sun to get the best kick start to your day. Having a mindful morning routine can be as simple as getting up 30 minutes earlier to practise a little self care.
Why not give it a try for yourself. Here is a five step process that could help you to incorporate a little more mindfulness into your day, everyday. 
1. Make sure you get enough sleep. 
You can't really expect to be all peppy and mindful in the morning if you're not getting a good night's sleep. Make sure that you get an adequate amount of rest each evening and set up a good sleep routine. Check out my blog post on the science of sleep and creating a good sleep routine if you need some help with this. www.spicywatch.com/blog/the-science-of-sleep
2. Train yourself to get up earlier. 
Sounds obvious enough, until the alarm goes off and you reach for the snooze button. Try to increase the time that you rise by 10-15 mins each week until you reach the desired amount of extra morning time that you require to practise some uninterrupted mindfulness. 
3. Decide on what you're going to put into your mindful mornings. 
It could be meditation, gratitude journaling, yoga, a mindful tea drinking ritual, mindful walking or being creative with art supplies. It's really up to you to find the thing that will guide you happily into your day and set you up for a terrific start. 
4. The Act of Mindfulness.
Now that you have a plan, you have to put it into practise - mindfully. This is where the real work begins because you may struggle with being mindful a little at first. Being mindful means that for at least 30 minutes you will immerse yourself into your chosen activity completely and uninterruptedly.  You will not go off to do other things, you will not turn on any devices and check emails or apps, you will not quit and when your mind wanders off to your 'to do' list for the day, you will need to purposefully and intentionally pull it back to you and your chosen activity. 
5. Go slowly  and appreciate the silence.
Don't rush, it is first thing in the morning after all! You can't hurry love and you also can't rush a good mindful morning routine. It takes time to establish but it is worth the effort. Try to be gentle with yourself and the process. Take in the quiet and appreciate how good it feels to be alive. Here's a great mindful mantra to say to yourself upon rising:
As I open my eyes,
I awaken to the beauty and freshness of this moment,
A whole new 24 hours has been given to me,
I will live it mindfully,
Appreciating deeply every moment of it. 

I love animated movies and contrary to what a lot of people think, they are not all made with only children in mind; in fact some animations are so adult that kids shouldn't go anywhere near them because they are so violent, crass and controversial. 
As graphic animation styles and techniques continue to develop, animated films continue to go from great looking to downright stunning. However, some older animations still hold up by todays standards, especially if they had kick arse storylines or a unique voice in their own right. 
And it is for all of these reasons that I really struggled to come up with a top ten animated films of all time list because there are clearly way more then ten amazing films to put on an animated list. So instead of a top ten, I have just created a list of what I consider to be the best animated offerings across the board order. Some of  them are stop motion, some are computer generated, some are adult and some are for big and small kids alike. 
What these movies do all have in common is that they are all true works of vision and genius and none of them should be overlooked or missed. They all scored at least 4 Chilli Peppers or more from me and you can find their full reviews right here on the Spicywatch genre lists - which I have added in brackets for you. 
So here is my list of what I believe to be - feature animated movies at their finest:

• Soul - 5 Chilli peppers  (Hall of Fame) 
• Kubo and the Two Strings  - 5 Chilli peppers  (Hall of Fame) 
• Fantastic Mr Fox -  5 Chilli peppers  (Hall of Fame) 
• Toy Story Series - 4.5 Chilli Peppers (The Kids are Alright)
• Spider-man: Into the Spider-Verse - 4.5 Chilli Peppers (The Kids are Alright )
• The Jungle Book - 4.5 Chilli Peppers (The Kids are Alright)
• Inside Out - 4.5 Chilli Peppers (The Kids are Alright)
• Isle of Dogs  - 4.5 Chilli Peppers (The Kids are Alright)
• Spirited Away  -  4.5 Chilli Peppers (The Kids are Alright)
• Monsters Inc - 4 Chilli Peppers (The Kids are Alright)
• Onward - 4 Chilli Peppers (The Kids are Alright)
• Finding Nemo/ Dory - 4 Chilli Peppers (The Kids are Alright)
• Klaus - 4 Chilli Peppers (The Kids are Alright)
• Persepolis - 4 Chilli Peppers (Arthouse)
• Despicable Me - 4 Chilli Peppers (The Kids are Alright)
• WALL-E -  4 Chilli Peppers (The Kids are Alright)
• Waking Life - 4 Chilli Peppers (Arthouse)
• Coco - 4 Chilli Peppers (The Kids are Alright)
• Southpark - Bigger, Longer and Uncut - 4 Chilli Peppers (Comedy)
• Akira - 4 Chilli Peppers (Arthouse)
• Shrek - 4 Chilli Peppers (The Kids are Alright)
• Paddington 2 - 4 Chilli Peppers (The Kids are Alright)
• The Nightmare Before Christmas - 4 Chilli Peppers (The Kids are Alright)
• Coraline - 4 Chilli Peppers (The Kids are Alright)
• Moana - 4 Chilli Peppers (The Kids are Alright)
• ​Zootopia - 4 Chilli Peppers (The Kids are Alright)
• The Boy and the Beast -  4 Chilli Peppers (The Kids are Alright)
• The Lego Movie - 4 Chilli Peppers (The Kids are Alright)
• Mary and Max - 4 Chilli Peppers (Arthouse)
• A Christmas Carol - 4 Chilli Peppers (The Kids are Alright)

AKIRA 
Release Date: 1988
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 124 mins 
This Japanese animated post-apocalyptic action film is widely considered to be one of the best science fiction animation films of all time. Directed by Katsuhiro Ohtomo who also wrote the film with Izo Hashimoto, Akira was pivotal in launching the Japanese cyberpunk subgenre and had a massive impact on popular culture worldwide, paving the way for the growth of anime and Japanese pop culture in the Western world.  
It is 2019, 31 years after the nuking of Tokyo and another threat is looming. After a secret military project goes wrong, a rogue biker gang member discovers that he has been altered and is unable to manage the extraordinary changes that are happening to him. A few brave teenagers and a group of child psychics attempt to stop the threat and restore order to the already torn down city.  
Akira is a dark and violent offering that is both visually pleasing and dazzlingly original in it's presentation. The age of this movie has not affected its impact at all and although it is insanely convoluted and incredibly strange, it is also a visionary work of art that deserves at least one viewing in everyone's lifetime. 
FINAL SAY: There must be a future that we can choose for ourselves. 
4 Chilli Peppers ​

After a 441 day hiatus, the longest gap to date, the 93rd Annual Academy Awards finally occurred last Sunday evening. I have now watched nearly all of the awards ceremony for 2021 - The Golden Globes, The Emmys, the BAFTAs and now the Oscars as well and it would be very fair to say the nominations and winners were all very consistent and obviously extremely deserving. 
The MTV awards and Tony's haven't happened yet if you're still thirsty for more awards ceremonies and late May will also bring Eurovision back into our lives if you're hungry for something completely fresh and unique. 
However for now I still have a few things to catch up on watching from the winners lists and I am taking a couple of weeks off award shows because I feel like I have tortured my family enough this year.
I do have to admit that I am currently deeply obsessed with all things Montaigne after seeing her live earlier this year and I will definitely be watching the Eurovision awards because she is representing Australia this year in the competition. 
Here is the line up for the EUROVISION airing times in Australia if like me, you're interested and a little Montaigne obsessed as well. 
Semi-Final 1 – Friday 21 May, 8.30pm (AEST), SBS -FEATURING MONTAIGNE
Semi-Final 2 – Saturday 22 May, 8.30pm (AEST), SBS
Grand Final – Sunday 23 May, 7.30pm (AEST), SBS

And just in case you missed all of the Academy Award action, here is the full list of 2021 Oscar nominations and winners:
Best Actor in a Leading Role
Riz Ahmed (“Sound of Metal”)
Chadwick Boseman (“Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom”)
Anthony Hopkins (“The Father”) (WINNER)
Gary Oldman (“Mank”)
Steven Yeun (“Minari”)

​Best Actress in a Leading Role
Viola Davis (“Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom”)
Andra Day (“The United States v. Billie Holiday”)
Vanessa Kirby (“Pieces of a Woman”)
Frances McDormand (“Nomadland”) (WINNER)
Carey Mulligan (“Promising Young Woman”)

Best Picture
“The Father” (David Parfitt, Jean-Louis Livi and Philippe Carcassonne, producers)
“Judas and the Black Messiah” (Shaka King, Charles D. King and Ryan Coogler, producers)
“Mank” (Ceán Chaffin, Eric Roth and Douglas Urbanski, producers)
“Minari” (Christina Oh, producer)
“Nomadland” (Frances McDormand, Peter Spears, Mollye Asher, Dan Janvey and Chloé Zhao, producers) (WINNER) 
“Promising Young Woman” (Ben Browning, Ashley Fox, Emerald Fennell and Josey McNamara, producers)
“Sound of Metal” (Bert Hamelinck and Sacha Ben Harroche, producers)
“The Trial of the Chicago 7” (Marc Platt and Stuart Besser, producers)

Best Original Song
“Fight for You,” (“Judas and the Black Messiah”). Music by H.E.R. and Dernst Emile II; Lyric by H.E.R. and Tiara Thomas (WINNER)
“Hear My Voice,” (“The Trial of the Chicago 7”). Music by Daniel Pemberton; Lyric by Daniel Pemberton and Celeste Waite
“Húsavík,” (“Eurovision Song Contest”). Music and Lyric by Savan Kotecha, Fat Max Gsus and Rickard Göransson
“Io Si (Seen),” (“The Life Ahead”). Music by Diane Warren; Lyric by Diane Warren and Laura Pausini
“Speak Now,” (“One Night in Miami”). Music and Lyric by Leslie Odom, Jr. and Sam Ashworth

Best Original Score
“Da 5 Bloods,” Terence Blanchard
“Mank,” Trent Reznor, Atticus Ross
“Minari,” Emile Mosseri
“News of the World,” James Newton Howard
“Soul,” Trent Reznor, Atticus Ross, Jon Batiste (WINNER)
Best Film Editing“The Father,” Yorgos Lamprinos
“Nomadland,” Chloé Zhao
“Promising Young Woman,” Frédéric Thoraval
“Sound of Metal,” Mikkel E.G. Nielsen (WINNER)
“The Trial of the Chicago 7,” Alan Baumgarten

Best Cinematography
“Judas and the Black Messiah,” Sean Bobbitt
“Mank,” Erik Messerschmidt (WINNER)
“News of the World,” Dariusz Wolski
“Nomadland,” Joshua James Richards
“The Trial of the Chicago 7,” Phedon Papamichael

Best Production Design
“The Father.” Production Design: Peter Francis; Set Decoration: Cathy Featherstone
“Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom.” Production Design: Mark Ricker; Set Decoration: Karen O’Hara and Diana Stoughton
“Mank.” Production Design: Donald Graham Burt; Set Decoration: Jan Pascale (WINNER)
“News of the World.” Production Design: David Crank; Set Decoration: Elizabeth Keenan
“Tenet.” Production Design: Nathan Crowley; Set Decoration: Kathy Lucas

Best Actress in a Supporting Role
Maria Bakalova (‘Borat Subsequent Moviefilm”)
Glenn Close (“Hillbilly Elegy”)
Olivia Colman (“The Father”)
Amanda Seyfried (“Mank”)
Yuh-Jung Youn (“Minari”) (WINNER)

Best Visual Effects
“Love and Monsters,” Matt Sloan, Genevieve Camilleri, Matt Everitt and Brian Cox
“The Midnight Sky,” Matthew Kasmir, Christopher Lawrence, Max Solomon and David Watkins
“Mulan,” Sean Faden, Anders Langlands, Seth Maury and Steve Ingram
“The One and Only Ivan,” Nick Davis, Greg Fisher, Ben Jones and Santiago Colomo Martinez
“Tenet,” Andrew Jackson, David Lee, Andrew Lockley and Scott Fisher (WINNER)

Best Documentary Feature
“Collective,” Alexander Nanau and Bianca Oana
“Crip Camp,” Nicole Newnham, Jim LeBrecht and Sara Bolder
“The Mole Agent,” Maite Alberdi and Marcela Santibáñez
“My Octopus Teacher,” Pippa Ehrlich, James Reed and Craig Foster (WINNER)
“Time,” Garrett Bradley, Lauren Domino and Kellen Quinn

Best Documentary Short Subject
“Colette,” Anthony Giacchino and Alice Doyard (WINNER)
“A Concerto Is a Conversation,” Ben Proudfoot and Kris Bowers
“Do Not Split,” Anders Hammer and Charlotte Cook
“Hunger Ward,” Skye Fitzgerald and Michael Scheuerman
“A Love Song for Latasha,” Sophia Nahli Allison and Janice Duncan

Best Animated Feature Film
“Onward” (Pixar)
“Over the Moon” (Netflix)
“A Shaun the Sheep Movie: Farmageddon” (Netflix)
“Soul” (Pixar) (WINNER)
“Wolfwalkers” (Apple TV Plus/GKIDS)

Best Animated Short Film
“Burrow” (Disney Plus/Pixar)
“Genius Loci” (Kazak Productions)
“If Anything Happens I Love You” (Netflix) (WINNER)
“Opera” (Beasts and Natives Alike)
“Yes-People” (CAOZ hf. Hólamói)

Best Live-Action Short Film
“Feeling Through”
“The Letter Room”
“The Present”
“Two Distant Strangers” (WINNER)
“White Eye”

Best Sound
“Greyhound,” Warren Shaw, Michael Minkler, Beau Borders and David Wyman
“Mank,” Ren Klyce, Jeremy Molod, David Parker, Nathan Nance and Drew Kunin
“News of the World,” Oliver Tarney, Mike Prestwood Smith, William Miller and John Pritchett
“Soul,” Ren Klyce, Coya Elliott and David Parker
“Sound of Metal,” Nicolas Becker, Jaime Baksht, Michelle Couttolenc, Carlos Cortés and Phillip Bladh (WINNER)

Best Director
Thomas Vinterberg (“Another Round”)
David Fincher (“Mank”)
Lee Isaac Chung (“Minari”)
Chloé Zhao (“Nomadland”) (WINNER)
Emerald Fennell (“Promising Young Woman”)

Best Costume Design
“Emma,” Alexandra Byrne
“Mank,” Trish Summerville
“Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom,” Ann Roth (WINNER)
“Mulan,” Bina Daigeler
“Pinocchio,” Massimo Cantini Parrini

Best Makeup and Hairstyling
“Emma,” Marese Langan, Laura Allen, Claudia Stolze
“Hillbilly Elegy,” Eryn Krueger Mekash, Patricia Dehaney, Matthew Mungle
“Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom,” Sergio Lopez-Rivera, Mia Neal, Jamika Wilson (WINNER)
“Mank,” Kimberley Spiteri, Gigi Williams, Colleen LaBaff
“Pinocchio,” Mark Coulier, Dalia Colli, Francesco Pegoretti

Best Actor in a Supporting Role
Sacha Baron Cohen (“The Trial of the Chicago 7”)
Daniel Kaluuya (“Judas and the Black Messiah”) (WINNER)
Leslie Odom Jr. (“One Night in Miami”)
Paul Raci (“Sound of Metal”)
Lakeith Stanfield (“Judas and the Black Messiah”)

Best International Feature Film
“Another Round” (Denmark) (WINNER)
“Better Days” (Hong Kong)
“Collective” (Romania)
“The Man Who Sold His Skin” (Tunisia)
“Quo Vadis, Aida?” (Bosnia and Herzegovina)

Best Adapted Screenplay
“Borat Subsequent Moviefilm.” Screenplay by Sacha Baron Cohen, Anthony Hines, Dan Swimer, Peter Baynham, Erica Rivinoja, Dan Mazer, Jena Friedman, Lee Kern; Story by Sacha Baron Cohen, Anthony Hines, Dan Swimer, Nina Pedrad
“The Father,” Christopher Hampton and Florian Zeller (WINNER)
“Nomadland,” Chloé Zhao
“One Night in Miami,” Kemp Powers
“The White Tiger,” Ramin Bahrani

Best Original Screenplay
“Judas and the Black Messiah.” Screenplay by Will Berson, Shaka King; Story by Will Berson, Shaka King, Kenny Lucas, Keith Lucas
“Minari,” Lee Isaac Chung
“Promising Young Woman,” Emerald Fennell (WINNER)
“Sound of Metal.” Screenplay by Darius Marder, Abraham Marder; Story by Darius Marder, Derek Cianfrance
“The Trial of the Chicago 7,” Aaron Sorkin

HILLBILLY ELEGY
Release Date: 2020
Rating: M 
Running Time: 116 mins 
An American drama directed by Ron Howard and based on the 2016 memoir of the same name by J. D. Vance. Released on Netflix and met with mixed reviews, Hillbilly Elegy's short comings are greatly elevated by the award worthy performances of Glenn Close and Amy Adams. 
J. D. Vance, a young Yale law student, is pulled back in to the dramatics of his old life when he returns to his home town to deal with a family crisis. Upon returning J.D. reflects on the potential outcomes of his own life and the lives of the generations of his family before him. 
This is very much a tale about choosing your own destiny and escaping destructive family cycles. The performances are really strong which adds a lot of levity and merit to the tale overall and contrary to the very tepid reviews that it received, I genuinely enjoyed this film. I thought that this film actually delivered a plausible and compassionate depiction of a small town, low socio-economic family and the challenges that they faced together because of their station in life. Don't be put off by the reviews, Hillbilly Elegy is definitely worth a look. 
FINAL SAY: You got to decide, you want to be somebody or not?
3 Chilli Peppers ​

You may recall me writing down a list of things that I was planning to start to doing on the daily back in January.  I was proposing to do a number of extra things on top of my already busy schedule and see where it landed me, and I did promise to provide some honest feedback about my progress around it all and tell you how I had I gone in my pursuit of a healthier and happier me. 
Well, it's been three full months since 24th January and here is what I have actually managed to achieve in that time:

• I have successfully committed to doing  10,000 steps a  day. 
• I have completed 10-15 minutes of brain training a day on Elevate.
• I have completed at least one French lesson everyday on Duolingo. 
• I have managed to consume at least a litre of water a day. 
• I have cut back my alcohol consumption by more than half.
• I have lost 5 kilos of weight. 
• I have journaled every day. 
• I have meditated for 20 minutes daily and performed 20 minutes of yoga at least 5 days a week. 
• I have menu planned and made shopping lists every week and saved more money in the last 3 months than I have ever saved in my life. 
• I have been out for dinner nine times, went to the cinema three times, went on two weekend trips, attended two art classes (one for ceramics and one for canvas painting), shopped at three weekend craft markets and also attended an open air concert. 
• I've watched 23 TV series and 39 movies.
• I've laughed more, shared more, loved harder and been more generous and grateful than I have ever been before. 

And although it really has been mostly rainbows and sunshine along the way, unfortunately, I did have one really sad thing happen, which was completely out of my hands but dreadfully difficult to deal with. My darling cat Samhain died on Tuesday morning at the age of 22.
​This was the first time that I have nursed a pet and provided what can really only be described as palliative care for an animal as they left the world and I have to say that it is so hard to watch something that you love so dearly waste away and pass on in front of you. Although losing Sam was heart-wrenchingly tough, I learnt a lot about letting things go and the natural order of the world from this experience.
All living things must die, it is inevitable and unavoidable. We try to shield ourselves from this as best we can, but eventually we all have to face it square on, one way or another.  Nursing my cat through her final days and eventually her final hours was an ordeal but also a gift that I was able to share with her.
She was old; very, very old and frail and over the last month she had gotten more and more weary of the world and less and less able to care for herself. She left this world in the way that we would all hope to go eventually, surrounded by loved ones, calmly and without any pain. She spent her final evening getting lots of hugs and pats and gentle kisses on her head, she was sung to and her paw was held. She was given pain killers to ease her weary body and her lips were regularly moistened as she lost the ability to drink even a sip of water in her final moments. She looked just like a peaceful little angel when she passed, asleep in her favourite chair and curled up comfortably like she always was when she was having her deepest sleeps. 
At dawn we laid her to rest under the pines and said our final farewells and in the days that have followed I have gone through all five degrees of grief separation. Everything from denial and anger to bargaining and depression and then finally I arrived at acceptance about a day ago.
It's impossible to know how the death of a long term pet is going to affect you, but after 22 years of having Samhain in my life, I felt like I had lost one of my best friends and I was just shattered. So I mourned her in the way that we need to mourn the loss of a big love and that takes time and patience and a bit of self kindness as well.
So, in the last three months I not only did a lot of good things for my health and wellbeing, but I also learned what it feels like to let things die naturally and return to the earth. This was a lesson the will stay with me for the rest of my life and has given me a great respect for people that work in palliative care and for anyone that has nursed a loved one that was terminally ill or dying of old age in their final days.
Letting go is hard, but it is also a way of making room for new beginnings. It is in rhythm with the natural order of the world and now I have 22 years of beautiful and precious memories to reflect on whenever I feel sad about Samhain - my wonderful cat, my faithful companion and one of my very best friends.
​I will see you again on the other side my sweet, feline darling xx 

​HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON 1 & 2
Release Dates: 2010 and 2014
Rating: PG
Running Time: 200 mins total 
The How to Train Your Dragon series is easily one of my favourite kids movie offerings because it is so consistently good and the story line is exciting and meaningful. A lot of kids movies really don't have much of a point, but these films seem to have a moral conundrum at play and I like that children are being challenged to think whilst they are watching. 
The first instalment introduces us to the city of Berk and all of its wonderful Viking characters. Eventually our main hero Hiccup happens upon a rare and most feared Night Fury dragon that he befriends and names Toothless, and the wheels are set into motion for Berk to be changed forever. 
The second instalment sees Hiccup all grown up and falling in love. Berk has become a different and dragon loving place, but now the threat of dragon hunters is the biggest problem. 
DreamWorks has done a wonderful job of presenting all of the magic and fantasy of a dragon filled world into a breathtakingly beautiful animation that will enchant children and adults alike for many years to come. 
FINAL SAY: I want a Night Fury dragon too! 
4 Chilli Peppers

Sometimes things in life are certainly not as linear or as straight forward as we would like them to be. In fact, quite often you can have two opposing thoughts, ideas or concepts running at the exact same time in your life which may seem to be  in contradiction of each other.
What do I mean by this? Well, I was reading a really interesting article by clinical psychologist Dr Heidi Green the other day about opposing energies in our lives and she had an excellent list that gave examples of how two things in our lives can be true at the same time. 
Here are some examples:

• Your parents did the best that they could, AND their choices wounded you. 
• You love someone AND you know it's not healthy to keep them in your life.
• You're terrified to take the next step AND you know it's the right thing to do. 
• You want to have a healthy relationship AND unresolved trauma is making it difficult. 
• You're afraid to fail AND you believe in yourself. 
• You really want to get fit AND you hate to exercise  (I actually just made that one up myself and yep, it's probably one of my own opposing truths)

​Food for thought right? Well it certainly was for me because I have a couple of opposing truths functioning in my life right now and having those two dialogues running at the same time can make you feel rather torn about your choices and decisions if you can't manage them well. 
So what can you do about your opposing truths? To be honest, sometimes you don't have to do anything about them but accept them to be the truth and learn to live with the fact that things aren't always tidy, easy or finished off with a neat little bow in life. Some opposing truths are just that, TRUTHS! Truths about yourself that you need to swallow, digest and accept. And as long you aren't in denial about those truths, then maybe you don't need to do anything about them. 
However, if you are allowing yourself to hang on to destructive, dangerous or potentially damaging truths about yourself then it is probably high time that you faced your opposing truths head on and started to make choices that are more inline with what you want to do, who you wish to become or how you want to be perceived. Not being willing to change things about yourself that are holding you back, perpetuating a problem or keeping you in denial is never going to be good for your overall wellbeing, so tackle any damning oppositional truths about yourself as soon as you can. 
And most importantly, at the end of the day, be gentle with yourself. Facing opposing truths about who you are isn't always easy and most of us have at least one or two of them.  Some of them will feel like bitter pills to swallow, some will feel like downright poison and burn on the way down and then some will feel like a cloud passing you by on blue sky day as you let them go and turn your attentions to more pressing matters. 
And always remember that opposing truths are both truths about you and who you are and in being so, you always have the power to squash one and bring the other one into the light at any given time, and that really is some food for thought. 

LOVE AND MONSTERS 
Release Date: 2020
Rating: PG
Running Time: 109 mins
An adventure film directed by Michael Matthews that hits some unexpectedly high notes with it's unique mix of coming of age story and monsterpocalypse action. 
After the destruction of an asteroid heading for Earth, the chemical fallout causes all of the cold blooded animals to mutate into large monsters that seem hell bent on destroying humanity. Humans are forced underground to survive and after 7 years in a bunker, Josh (the least likely hero of the story) decides to trek above ground to be reunited with his long lost teenage crush Aimee who lives in a beach colony across the state. 
There is a lot to enjoy here so don't be put off by the cheesy title. Firstly, it's fun and fast moving and the monsters and action scenes are really well orchestrated. Also the actors, especially Dylan O'Brien who plays Josh, are really likeable and the complete silliness of the whole thing makes it really fun to watch. And last but not least, it's pretty squeaky clean as far as sex, language and gore goes, which makes it very family friendly and mighty rare for a monster flick. 
FINAL SAY:  I really didn't have your typical upbringing. I mean, I did at first and then the world ended. 
3 Chilli Peppers ​

I have been working on the subjects of 'focus and control' in my life lately. I have spent a great deal of time thinking about the things that consume my time (for good and bad) and about the things in my life that I should be working towards eliminating because it would increase my enjoyment of life, boost my sense of freedom and  offer me a chance to self liberate. 
Being a person who works closely with children and also supports them with their social skill set and self moderation techniques, I also feel that it is paramount for me to not be holding onto any unnecessary bullshit or engaging in things that are counterproductive to my ability to be able to socialise well, care for others and myself and self moderate like a boss. Basically, if you want to lead well you should be able to lead by example and you should be practising what you are preaching. And lets face it, when it comes to kids they can sniff out bullshit from a mile away, so if you're attempting to instruct them on ways to lead a more harmonious lifestyle and then behaving like an asshole yourself, well it's just not going to fly is it? 
So it was with this in mind that I decided to take a big step back from myself, take stock of my life and my relationships and have a good think about what I should be letting go of in order to become more self aware, kind (to myself and others) and mindful about my behaviours and what I am sending out into the universe.
What became abundantly clear quite quickly as soon as I started to look at my role in my family, my close relationships, my job, my friendships and the way that I interact with others was my ridiculous need to be validated and how much of a people pleaser I am. And this lead me to realise that I genuinely needed a serious overhaul in the way that I was doing things and the way that I was spending my precious time and here's the list that I came up with of things that I need to let go of to become a more whole and rounded person. 
1. Trying to make everyone happy.
It's ridiculous how compelled I am to taking care of everyone else's needs before my own. I go out of my way to make sure that everyone's needs are met, all the boxes are ticked and everyone feels heard and respected, and even though this is a lovely thing to do, It's actually  not my job to make everyone happy. Everyone has a responsibility to create their own joy and find their own happiness, so attempting to do that for someone else is just hindering their ability to self manage. It's my job to make myself happy and that's going to be my focus from now on. 
2. Saying yes to people or events that I'm not invested or interested in.
Saying no, choosing to not over schedule my calendar and having the courage to weed out some negative people from my circle of friends is a really hard thing for me to do. However, over the years my inability to say no has made me put up with some pretty shitty one sided friendships, spend my free time listening to people who don't care about me at all, allowed people to unload their baggage onto me and then disappear for months and has also made me negative and bitter at times. Well no more! If I am not feeling it then I am not doing it anymore, life is too short for mediocre friends and crappy events and gatherings. 
3. Fear of failure.
All of my life I have hated the idea of being wrong or getting things wrong. In the past I have even engaged in pointless arguments just so that I didn't have to admit that I was wrong, how seriously stubborn and messed up is that? Talk about a closed mindset. Well that's over for me now, I am now more than willing to fail and learn and even fail again, it's all good. It's just like the Japanese proverb "Nana korobi, ya oki" which means 'Fall down seven times, stand up eight' which is a much gentler and kinder way to live your life than always trying to be clever, smart or right. I actually don't mind being wrong these days and I also don't mind not knowing things, I love to learn and that is my new focus now.  Failing is human and its how we grow.
4. Not Trusting That Things Will Pass
I have said 'this too shall pass' a million times, but when things are happening to me, I often allow myself to get caught up in the drama of it all. Being able to accept that all states are transient and fleeting in the big scheme of things is something that I am really working hard on. It is just as much about trust as it is about letting go and it really comes down to one's ability to manage their emotional responses, be self aware and moderate as required. All things are impermanent and this does gets easier to accept as I get older, however being able to keep calm and stay the course when the waves get high is something that is still a work in progress for me. 
5. Listening with My Whole Self
I have a tendency to get distracted and not always give 100% effective listening to people. I really hate it when people do it to me and yet, I sometimes find myself drifting off when people are talking to me. I want to stop doing that and I want to become an active listening zen master.  I want people to feel like they are the only person when the room when they speak to me, I want to listen more and talk less and I want to completely engage when people are talking to me. This will require me to block out all other distractions and so this has to be my first port of call on the way to being an active listening zen master, so I am choosing to take this approach one conversation at a time. And if you are someone that has a relationship with me, feel free to prompt me back if you see me glaze over but also forgive me if I am so focused that it starts to get scary, at which point you can also prompt me to back off!

Okay, so there is, me being all transparent about all the crappy things that I do that I need to let go of and work on. It's never easy to admit our shortcomings but in the name of self improvement, I am always all about it; and admitting a personal flaw is definitely the first step to fixing one. 

I'd love to say that the Easter bunny brought a delightful harvest of chocolates to our home, and although we were given an array of lovely nibbles, no-one really felt much like eating any of them because we had an insidious bout of gastro hit our home the week before Easter. And it wasn't just a 24 hour bug either, it was a real 'hang-er-on-er' virus that managed to linger in our home for days and days, making everyone in the house feel generally lethargic, crampy, miserable and very uninterested in food for the days leading up to Easter, during the Easter long weekend and for a few days after as well.
Hardly the nicest way to start your Easter holiday break but at least I didn't have to worry about being at work or looking even somewhat presentable because I have basically schlumped about the house like bag lady for the last couple of days in the most unkempt of states and I am now looking forward to getting out of the house and out of my own way as soon as possible. The lack of exercise and inability to drink much water (due to the fact that everything nauseates me)  has made me feel gross and as flat as a pancake, and not a delicious whipped cream, maple syrup topped kind of a pancake, more like that first test run pancake that you make to check if the pan is hot enough. You know the one I mean, it's half cooked, misshapen and usually ends up on the back lawn for the birds to reluctantly peck away at, that is the kind of flat pancake that I have felt like recently. A shithouse one!
Thankfully tomorrow I have a really good excuse to pull my shit together because I have a spa day planned with the ladies. a full on treat yourself day.  We have had this day planned since the Easter break in 2020, but due to COVID-19 were unable to make it actually come to fruition until now, so this is a long awaited and much anticipated spa day out in Daylesford. I can not wait! I am so keen for a decent massage that I am not even concerned about everyone seeing me in a swimsuit in the mineral pools and saunas, I couldn't care less.
However, I am going to need a serious de-fuzzing this evening before I even consider wearing my swimmers in a public place because I look like a yeti from the waist down. And now that I come to think of it, I don't think that my bathers have even seen the light of day since I went snorkelling in Vanuatu, which is almost 18 months ago now, so I'd better check that they are still decent enough to be worn at a public spa facility.  Saltwater can really deteriorate a swimsuit over time, imagine if I put them on the morning and my whole ass was hanging out! Hilarious for me, really not comfortable for my friends or any other poor sod who happens to be at the spa, so yeah I'd better check that out ahead of time. 
Anyway, Easter wasn't a total wash out. I did get to spend Easter Sunday with my family and although I didn't feel like feasting, I did have an excuse to slam the couch and binge watch a few TV series and films over the long weekend and I did get gifted some mighty fine and delicious treats which I know that I am going to really enjoy when I get an appetite back. At the moment I am still on a BRAT diet. The old Banana, Rice, Applesauce and Toast routine that is generally the only safe thing to eat after you've been a blast ended skrewt and had a gastric virus.  It's an old remedy, but it totally works and restores your gut back to full health pretty quickly if you can stick to it. I want to enjoy spa day tomorrow, so I have stuck to it and it's worked for me. I am feeling completely well today, so I'm sticking to the BRAT diet for one more day just to be sure. Anyway, I better go check out my swim cozy and defuzz myself because tomorrow I am going to have the best day out in the sunshine with my friends! It will be the best post- Easter gift to myself that I've ever had!

THE KING OF STATEN ISLAND 
Release Date: 2020
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 136 mins 
An American drama/ comedy directed by Judd Apatow and adapted from one of Apatow's screenplays. The King of Staten Island delivers something that is both objectionable and yet also tender and poignant. And I know that sounds strange but trust me when I say that you will feel annoyed, angry, upset, tearful and even a little sympathetic for the characters as you join them on this interesting journey that can really only be described as a belated coming of age tale.
Ever since his firefighter father died in a tragic incident when he was seven, Scott has had an overwhelming case of arrested development. As a 24 year old adult he is lazy, un-motivated, self indulgent and has a serious addiction to marijuana and not owning his own shit. When he burns all of his bridges and suddenly finds himself homeless, Scott is finally forced to re-evaluate his life choices.
The cast is tremendously good here with Pete Davidson shining as Scott Carlin, Marisa Tomei delivering as his long suffering mother Margie, Bill Burr believably filling the role of the would be step-father and Steve Buscemi showing his age in a dignified manner as Papa, the mature aged fire fighter. 
The King of Staten Island not only addresses the impact of loss and despondency but also the impact that long-term adolescence has on everyone around the perpetrator. It's a genuinely powerful tale about our modern age and a more reflective offering from Apatow than I have seen before. 
FINAL SAY: We're like the only place that New Jersey looks down on.
​3.5 Chilli Peppers ​

I have been on more than my fair share of great holidays. I have been on planes, trains, ships, trams, boats, buses and even elephants as a means to get around, but I have to say that some of the best holidays that I have ever had in my life have involved road tripping. There is nothing like a road trip to get your senses going and your interests flowing and in my opinion, road tripping may well be the best way to spend your holiday time. 
A road trip gives you loads more time to reflect, stop and smell the flowers. You can literally pull over and get your fill of the landscape at any time. And unlike being stuck in a tour group or on some other vessel that is just going from A to B, a road trip allows you to go at your own pace and take as many detours as you like. Every road sign is a potential adventure and an opportunity to take in something new or explore another area.
You don't have to go far to have a road trip adventure either. A road trip can last a day, a weekend, a week, a month or however long you want to take your holiday for. You can pursue a road trip in your own country (Australia has the best road trip opportunities - so blessed here) or you can plan to travel abroad. Craig and I road tripped from Germany to Italy in a car and it was nothing short of amazing, we also road tripped France and England together, we've taken our family and road tripped across the North Island of New Zealand and I have done short road trips to Sydney and Canberra with my kids as well and I can honestly say that all of those holidays were easily some of the best that we have ever had. 
Another great thing about road tripping is that it is a cheaper and more convenient form of travel than any other transport and as long as your car is in pretty good working order, it's super easy as well. Just fill up your tank and go, any day at any time. You can literally head off at any given moment to explore the countryside and decide where to stay as you go. We usually stay at Airbnb's which is generally a pretty cheap option, but if you've got a caravan or an RV, well that's even easier and cheaper as well.
The thing that I love best about a road tripping is the complete freedom of it. I love blasting my favourite playlists and singing up my tunes, making memories and sharing special moments with my family, operating outside of any schedules or work commitments and just being in the moment 100%. An open and unknown road really can give you all of that. And let's not forget that incredible feeling that you get when you come home after a couple of weeks on the road and you have totally reinvigorated your awareness around how amazing your life and your home actually are. A road trip definitely heightens your awareness, not only to the amazing adventures that you've enjoyed but also around how incredible it is to return to the comfort of your home after the fact. 
Yes, I really do love to go road tripping and having adventures on the holidays, but for me there really is no place like home, and for that reason I know that I am definitely not made for a full time nomadic existence, no matter how much the open road beckons to me. 

NOMADLAND
Release Date: 2021
Rating: M 
Running Time: 107 mins 
An American drama film written, edited, produced and directed by Chloé Zhao and based on the 2017 non-fiction book Nomadland: Surviving America in the Twenty-First Century by Jessica Bruder. I think that being based on a non-fiction book has made this movie feel very authentic, in fact the entire movie plays out just as a documentary would. There are even real life nomads (Linda May, Swankie and Bob Wells) all portraying fictionized versions of themselves here which really adds a lot of depth and credence to the tale. 
Over the course of a year we follow Fern (Frances McDormand), a reclusive nomadic woman who is mourning the loss of her husband and traveling across America in an old camper van. Along the way we experience the highs and lows of Fern's voyage through the people that she encounters on the road, the impermanent work that she undertakes and the places that she visits along the way. 
Nomadland won the Best Motion Picture - Drama and Best Director awards at the 78th Golden Globe Awards, however I think that it is the incredible sweeping landscapes and cinematography that make this film truly unmissable.  I definitely recommend viewing Nomadland on a big screen if you can,  however be warned, the lure to jump into an RV and hit the open road is somewhat overwhelming and you may find yourself planning your next road trip after seeing this. 
FINAL SAY: I'll see you down the road.
4 Chilli Peppers ​

By definition, mantra is a Sanskrit word that means a sacred utterance of numerous sounds, syllables or words. Many languages have mantras that are believed to hold religious, magical or spiritual powers. In modern and westernised spiritual practises, the word mantra has become the mainstream word for intention, but in truth mantra and intention are quite different.
The word mantra can be broken down into two words. The first being 'man' which means mind and 'tra' which means transport or vehicle. In other words a mantra is an instrument for moving your mind from one state of being into another. It is a way of triggering a shift in your mindset, which is clearly quite different from setting an intention. 
Just like planting a seed into fertile soil to get the best results, when you plant your mantra over and over in your mind you will also get the best results. Basically, you need to shift your consciousness to more abundant patterns of thinking by repeating your mantra to yourself during meditation, times of focus or when the need to 'shift gears' arises. The key to a successful mantra is all in the repetition. 
When you undertake a course in transcendental meditation with a qualified practitioner, you are given a personal mantra which is usually in the form of a 2 or 3 syllable chant. However, you don't have to go to a professional to set yourself a mantra or chant, you just have to find a saying, sound or group of words that transport your mind to a better or higher frequency of thinking and feeling. 
I have had many mantras over the years. Some have been short and sweet and yet still very effective like "I am strong" "I am focused" and "I can let go." Others have been chants or chimes, bells or transcendental vibration noises. Most recently I have adopted the following mantra:
"Where attentions goes, energy flows"
I say the first three words on the inhale and the last two on the exhale when meditating. However, I have used this mantra to help others as well by gently reminding them about what they are pouring their energy into and whether it deserves as much of their attention and energy as they are giving it. I say this to myself when I feel like I am entering a power struggle, beginning to play into some else's drama or getting caught up in  negative thought patterns about someone else, myself or a situation. 
At the end of the day, a mantra is supposed to bring you back to simplicity, which if done correctly, will support you in protecting your energy as well, which is what I wrote about in my last blog post. We live in a complex world and it is so easy to get lost in all of the details. Having a mantra can help you to keep circling back to a simplistic approach to life and to help you to focus on those things that inspire and truly make you happy, so why not give it a go and create your own mantra, what have you got to lose? 

BLACK IS KING
Release Date: 2020
Rating: M
Running Time: 85 mins 
There is no disputing that Beyoncé is not everyone's cup of tea, but after Lemonade I was more than willing to have a look at Black is King and I was definitely not disappointed. 
A musical and visual album that was directed, written and produced by Beyoncé herself, the film serves as a visual companion to the 2019 album The Lion King: The Gift, a tie-in album curated by Beyoncé for The Lion King. 
The story revolves around a young African prince that is exiled from his kingdom after his father passes away. When he becomes a man, he embarks on a journey to discover his true identity and purpose. He is protected and guided by his ancestors and eventually reclaims his rightful place upon the throne again. 
The music, dances, costumes, themes and sets are all simply divine and the overall experience is a complete transcendence into sight, sound and spirit. There is a lot to love here, and if like me you are a fan of artistic expression and creativity, you will love this as well. 
FINAL SAY: Find Your Way
​4 Chilli Peppers ​