Don't misread that blog post heading and think that I have gone all fitness mad or anything, because I definitely have not! I have however, entered into the dreaded and controversial period of my life that is commonly known as 'menopause' but really should be called 'fresh hell for women who think they have already experienced everything.'
​So far it has been extremely hot, intensely sweaty and just generally quite gross. This recent wave of menopause has collided with the awards season, so I have been happy to sweat it out on the couch with The Globes, The Emmys and The Critic's Choice Awards which although not at all surprising when it comes to the actual winners, has provided me with some much needed distraction from the hot, flushing and ever present fevers that is my unfortunate, but clearly rapidly declining, hormonal levels. 
So far it's been all 'Sweaty Betty' and 'No Sleep Susan' and I haven't had too many other symptoms, well none that have caused me as much distress and annoyance as a lack of sleep and the constant swampy humidity of my own body. I am managing to get some incredible internal body temperatures these days, and although I haven't exactly been shoving thermometres inside of myself to check on that, I have taken to sleeping with an ice pack on my chest at night, which I believe is a fairly powerful indicator that I am burning up.
In general I am just a big old 'Clammy Sammy' and my body is behaving like I have permanently moved to Northern Thailand by generally being slick and sticky most of the time. Mmmmm, so sexy right? Clearly no, and poor Craig keeps waking up during the night dreaming that he is sunbaking on a beach, only to discover that he is just dealing with the radiant heat that is pouring off of my body during the nocturnal hours. I swear that if I could harness the energy that my body is giving out I could run the lights in our home for months. 
It is like riding a wave of internal combustion, one minute I'm a roast chook, the next I'm icy cold and all of that occurs in a mere matter of minutes. It is just crazy, and I have no idea how long this will last for either. Being a woman is such a thankless roller coaster and now that I am turning 50, hitting menopause and also on the precipice of becoming a grandmother I am starting to see why women become quite cranky at this stage of life. You turn a certain age (by the way menopause usually hits between 45-55 so women beware) and you are suddenly thrust into a fever dream of early crone-hood that is a bit debilitating and quite scary really. I hadn't even though of myself as old (well, not THAT old) and suddenly here I am - an almost 50 year old menopausal grannie! How the hell did that happen?
Only a year ago I was just a mother in her 40's and now...well, old women's business! And I wasn't prepared for old women's business and I don't even know that first thing about menopause, so this has been a true trial by fire - internally, externally, literally and metaphorically as well. Needless to say I have had to trawl the internet for information about menopause and general 'old lady' business as a consequence. And I even went to the local library to borrow books on the topic; god forbid should anyone see me at a book store buying an old lady manual like 'Everything you wanted to know about menopause but were too afraid to ask,' but I really need to educate myself somehow!
And because this has all happened so rapidly, I also needed to do the old 'self litmus' test, you know what I am talking about, when you start asking yourself the 'is this normal?' questions that you only ever worry about when your body starts doing weird shit that it wasn't doing before, like producing more heat than lava. And guess what? Turns out it is normal! So yay, but also boo as well really. 
​Anyway, the summer of 2024 will go down as the sweatiest summer of my life now, well I hope it will be because I really don't want several years of this, but according to everything that I read so far, unless you want to go on Hormone Replacement Therapy, which has a host of it's own issues and symptoms, you just have to suck it up really and go along for the ride and just calmly wait for my body to completely dry up like an old husk of its former self. And that can take anywhere from 6 months to 7 years, so yep, there could well be a few more sweaty summers ahead of me yet! Ah, the true joys of being a woman. Turns out that a vagina really is the gift that just keeps on giving! 

POOR THINGS 
Release Date: 2023
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 142 mins 
If you are looking for something completely out of the box and utterly unique then look no further, Poor Things delivers on all counts. Brilliantly fantastical, artistically designed and continually teetering on the verge of being absolutely bonkers, this latest offering from visionary director Yorgos Lanthimos is not only his best work, but for me, is one of the best movies of 2023. And after garnering lots of attention for it's salacious behaviours and just as many accolades for it's terrific performances and original story-telling, Poor Things quickly became the must see movie of the year. 
Dr. Godwin Baxter, a Frankenstein-eque surgeon, discovers the beautiful, pregnant but unfortunately dead body of a young woman by the edge of a London river. He decides to transplant the brain of her still alive but unborn baby into her adult body and re-animate her, creating 'Bella' a child-like adult in search of delicious and daring experiences. 
This is a wildly original romp into madness and hilarity with Emma Stone delivering at her best as Bella, Mark Ruffalo amusing completely as the lecherous deviant Duncan Wedderburn and Willem Dafoe bringing hideous-genius to life as Dr Godwin Baxter. However underneath all of the hilarity is a story that delivers like a modern day fairy-tale of self discovery, enlightenment and deliverance that is both playful and contemplative. 
The fantasy design and costumes are strikingly good, the details are just amazing, from start to end. I am fairly sure that this is a film that people are going to talk about for years to come, and one that is destined to become a cult classic. For me, Poor Things hits all the right notes in all the right order, and I couldn't help but applaud it and award it a Hall of Fame - 5 Chilli Peppers of greatness. 
FINAL SAY: I have adventured it and found nothing but sugar and violence. 
5 Chilli Peppers ​

​​​The Golden Globe Awards Ceremony happened very early this year; Monday 8th January to be exact, so I was able to sit back, pour a wine and watch everything unfold in real time. Unfortunately, this year kind of delivered like a limp bit of celery and although many valiantly tried, there wasn't a lot of laughs to be found in the mix. In fact the whole night seemed a tad surly and disjointed, which is not what the Golden Globes need after only rising from the ashes of their 2022 controversy last year.
New host Jo Koy certainly fell flat with his lame jokes about 'Barbie's boobs' and he desperately struggling to maintain interest and applause at every turn; he even tossed the writers under the bus in an attempt to save himself at one point. Comics Kristen Wiig and Will Ferrell's attempts at silly dance moves during an award presentation were tepidly receive and it just all felt a bit flat and dull to be honest. Not to mention all of the behind the hand/ bitchy banter  that appeared to be going on in the audience, and some actors even just up and left before the ceremony ended! So weird and a bit disrespectful really. 
And although all of the winners were of course super deserving, it was all extremely predictable and left me a tad underwhelmed this year, which was a shame. 
But never mind, I still now have a swag of films and TV to catch up on and my viewing choices are all laid out for the next few weeks, so that's a definite plus. 
And just in case you missed it, here are the nominees and winners:

Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Motion Picture

• Da'Vine Joy Randolph, "The Holdovers" — Winner
• Emily Blunt, "Oppenheimer"
• Danielle Brooks, "The Color Purple"
• Julianne Moore, "May December"
• Jodie Foster, "Nyad"
• Rosamund Pike, "Saltburn"

Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in any Motion Picture

• Robert Downey Jr., "Oppenheimer" — Winner
• Ryan Gosling, "Barbie"
• Robert DeNiro, "Killers of the Flower Moon"
• Charles Melton, "May December"
• William Dafoe, "Poor Things" 
• Mark Ruffalo, "Poor Things"

Best Performance by an Actress in a Limited Series, Anthology Series or Motion Picture Made for Television

• Ali Wong, "Beef" — Winner
• Brie Larson, "Lessons in Chemistry"
• Riley Keough, "Daisy Jones & the Six" 
• Elizabeth Olsen, "Love and Death"
• Juno Temple, "Fargo"
• Rachel Weisz, "Dead Ringers"

Best Performance by an Actor in a Limited Series, Anthology Series or Motion Picture Made for Television

• Steven Yeun, "Beef" — Winner
• Matt Bomer, "Fellow Travelers"
• Sam Claflin, "Daisy Jones & the Six"
• David Oyelowo, "Lawmen: Bass Reeves"
• Jon Hamm, "Fargo"
• Woody Harrelson, "White House Plumbers"

Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Television Series

• Elizabeth Debicki, "The Crown" — Winner
• Meryl Streep, "Only Murders in the Building"
• Hannah Waddingham, "Ted Lasso"
• Christina Ricci, "Yellowjackets" 
• Abby Elliott, "The Bear"
• J. Smith-Cameron, "Succession"

Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Television Series

• Matthew Macfadyen, "Succession" — Winner
• James Marsden, "Jury Duty"
• Ebon Moss-Bachrach, "The Bear"
• Billy Crudup, "The Morning Show" 
• Alexander Skarsgård, "Succession"
• Alan Ruck, "Succession"

​
Best Screenplay — Motion Picture

• Justine Triet and Arthur Harari, "Anatomy of a Fall" — Winner
• Greta Gerwig and Noah Baumbach, "Barbie"
• Tony McNamara, "Poor Things"
• Celine Song, "Past Lives"
• Christopher Nolan, "Oppenheimer"
• Eric Roth and Martin Scorsese, "Killers of the Flower Moon"

Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series – Musical or Comedy

• Jeremy Allen White, "The Bear" — Winner
• Jason Sudeikis, "Ted Lasso"
• Bill Hader, "Barry"
• Jason Segel, "Shrinking"
• Steve Martin, "Only Murders in the Building"
• Martin Short, "Only Murders in the Building"

Best Performance in Stand-Up Comedy on Television

• "Ricky Gervais: Armageddon" — Winner
• "Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact"
• "Chris Rock: Selective Outrage"
• "Wanda Sykes: I'm an Entertainer"
• "Sarah Silverman: Someone You Love"
• "Trevor Noah: Where Was I"

Best Motion Picture — Non-English Language

• "Anatomy of a Fall" (France) — Winner
• "The Zone of Interest" (United Kingdom)  
• "Society of the Snow" (Spain) 
• "Fallen Leaves" (Finland)
• "Past Lives" (United States)
• "Io capitano" (Italy)

Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series – Musical or Comedy

• Ayo Edebiri, "The Bear" — Winner
• Natasha Lyonne, "Poker Face"
• Quinta Brunson, "Abbott Elementary" 
• Rachel Brosnahan, "The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel"
• Selena Gomez, "Only Murders in the Building"
• Elle Fanning, "The Great"

Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series – Drama

• Kieran Culkin, "Succession" — Winner
• Brian Cox, "Succession"
• Pedro Pascal, "The Last of Us"
• Jeremy Strong, "Succession"
• Gary Oldman, "Slow Horses"
• Dominic West, "The Crown"

Best Motion Picture — Animated

• "The Boy and the Heron" — Winner
• "Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse"
• "Elemental"
• "The Super Mario Bros. Movie"
• "Wish"
• "Suzume"

Best Director — Motion Picture

• Christopher Nolan, "Oppenheimer" — Winner
• Martin Scorsese, "Killers of the Flower Moon"
• Greta Gerwig, "Barbie" 
• Yorgos Lanthimos, "Poor Things"
• Bradley Cooper, "Maestro"
• Celine Song, "Past Lives"

Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture — Musical or Comedy

• Emma Stone, "Poor Things" — Winner
• Margot Robbie, "Barbie"
• Natalie Portman, "May December"
• Fantasia Barrino, "The Color Purple" 
• Alma Pöysti, "Fallen Leaves"
• Jennifer Lawrence, "No Hard Feelings"

Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture — Drama

• Cillian Murphy, "Oppenheimer" — Winner
• Bradley Cooper, "Maestro"
• Leonardo DiCaprio, "Killers of the Flower Moon"
• Colman Domingo, "Rustin"
• Andrew Scott, "All of Us Strangers"
• Barry Keoghan, "Saltburn"

Best Original Score — Motion Picture

• Ludwig Göransson, "Oppenheimer" — Winner
• Robbie Robertson, "Killers of the Flower Moon"
• Mica Levi, "The Zone of Interest"
• Daniel Pemberton, "Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse" 
• Jerskin Fendrix, "Poor Things"
• Joe Hisaishi, "The Boy and the Heron"

Best Original Song — Motion Picture

• "What Was I Made For?" by Billie Eilish and Finneas O'Connell (from "Barbie") — Winner
• "Dance the Night" by Caroline Ailin, Dua Lipa, Mark Ronson and Andrew Wyatt (from "Barbie") 
• "Addicted to Romance" by Bruce Springsteen (from "She Came to Me")
• "Road to Freedom" by Lenny Kravitz (from "Rustin") 
• "Peaches" by Jack Black, Aaron Horvath, Michael Jelenic, Eric Osmond and John Spiker (from "The Super Mario Bros. Movie") 
• "I'm Just Ken" by Andrew Wyatt and Mark Ronson (from "Barbie")

Cinematic and Box Office Achievement

• "Barbie" — Winner
• "Oppenheimer"
• "Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse"
• "Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3"
• "The Super Mario Bros. Movie"
• "John Wick: Chapter 4"
• "Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning Part 1" 
• "Taylor Swift: The Eras Tour" 

Best Television Limited Series, Anthology Series or Motion Picture Made for Television

• "Beef" — Winner
• "Lessons in Chemistry"
• "Daisy Jones & the Six"
• "All the Light We Cannot See" 
• "Fellow Travelers"
• "Fargo"

Best Television Series – Musical or Comedy

• "The Bear" — Winner
• "Ted Lasso"
• "Abbott Elementary"
• "Jury Duty"
• "Only Murders in the Building"
• "Barry"

Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series – Drama

• Sarah Snook, "Succession" — Winner
• Bella Ramsey, "The Last of Us"
• Helen Mirren, "1923"
•  Keri Russell, "The Diplomat"
• Emma Stone, "The Curse"
• Imelda Staunton, "The Crown"

Best Television Series – Drama

• "Succession" — Winner
• "The Last of Us"
• "The Crown"
• "The Morning Show"
• "The Diplomat"
• "1923"

Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture — Musical or Comedy

• Paul Giamatti, "The Holdovers" — Winner
• Jeffrey Wright, "American Fiction"
• Matt Damon, "Air"
• Joaquin Phoenix, "Beau is Afraid"
• Timothée Chalamet, "Wonka"
• Nicolas Cage, "Dream Scenario"

Best Motion Picture — Musical or Comedy

• "Poor Things" — Winner
• "Barbie"
• "American Fiction"
• "The Holdovers"
• "May December" 
• "Air"

Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture — Drama

• Lily Gladstone, "Killers of the Flower Moon" — Winner
• Carey Mulligan, "Maestro"
• Sandra Hüller, "Anatomy of a Fall"
• Annette Bening, "Nyad"
• Greta Lee, "Past Lives"
• Cailee Spaeny, "Priscilla

Best Motion Picture — Drama

• "Oppenheimer" — Winner
• "Killers of the Flower Moon" 
• "Maestro"
• "Past Lives"
• "The Zone of Interest"
• "Anatomy of a Fall"

OPPENHEIMER 
Release Date: 2023
Rating: R 18+
Running Time: 180 mins 
Possibly the most anticipated film of 2023, Christopher Nolan's Oppenheimer delivers an epic biographical tale that received massive critical acclaim. It also became the third highest grossing film of 2023, the highest grossing World War II film, the highest grossing biographical movie and the second highest grossing R rated film as well. The National Board of Review and the American Film Institute named Oppenheimer one of the top ten films of the year, and it is certainly already receiving a lot of pre-Oscar buzz. 
The movie is based on the life of J. Robert Oppenheimer, an American theoretical physicist credited with being the "father of the atomic bomb" for his role in The Manhattan Project - the World War II undertaking that developed the first nuclear weapons. Closely following the 2005 biographical novel American Prometheus by Kai Bid and Martin J. Sherwin, the film chronicles the career of Oppenheimer from his personal highs and successes to his fall from grace in the mid 1950's.
Cillian Murphy is nothing short of perfect in his portrayal of Oppenheimer and he is very well supported by a star studded cast that includes Emily Blunt, Matt Damon, Florence Pugh, Robert Downey Jr, Josh Hartnett, Casey Affleck, Rami Malek and Kenneth Branagh. 
At three hours run time, Oppenheimer is not a film for light weight movie goers; extremely political and scientific in its delivery (neither of which bothered me) but you do need to be attentive if you want to really appreciate and follow the storyline. Visually it's a masterpiece, and an unforgettable cinematic experience. I went in with little to no knowledge about J. Robert Oppenheimer before I watched this, and I learned a lot; not only about the man himself, but also about nuclear weapons, the arms race and the lack of concern or care for life in general when it comes to the way in which these weapons are used.  Not an easy watch, but a very worthy one for sure. 
FINAL SAY: They won't fear it until they understand it. And they won't understand it until they've used it. 
4 Chilli Peppers ​

Just like 2022, the viewing opportunities in 2023 grew so fast that I found myself yet again juggling all of my streaming services and struggling to get to the cinema often enough because as always, I seemed to have an over-abundance of new release material to trawl through.
There was a head spinning amount of high quality viewing material to absorb this year, and I was very grateful to be constantly distracted from the political and environmental disasters of 2023 with cinematic offerings. I also received many welcome high quality recommendations from friends and family throughout the year as well, which has stretched my viewing choices as well.  Long story short, we were all very spoilt for choice in 2023, and if you couldn't find something to watch, then in my opinion, you just weren't trying hard enough!
I managed to get through 180 movies and 160 television series this year. Basically, I was flat out watching something every day of the year and I still didn't get to half of the material that still sits waiting on my 'to see' lists, which has now blow out to more than 580 titles, so it is fair to say that I am not going to be slowing down any time soon either. 
The task of seeing everything has become arduous beyond anyone's means, and unless you are willing to permanently strap yourself to the couch and do nothing but watch movies and TV, there is just no way that you can manage to see it all in one year. So now more than ever, you must be discerning, and hopefully this is where I can offer a hand and some sound advice around what you should be investing in your time in; if you haven't done so already. 
Again, I was thrilled to be able to view so many great movies and TV across all genres, for which I am always grateful. In particular, I again really appreciated seeing so many excellent horror, thriller and fantasy offerings this year; most of which boasted stunningly good visuals and terrifically original storylines. I am now sure that audiences are becoming more acclimated to a few jumps and jolts, and more and more people are embracing high quality horror, thriller and challenging viewing choices, because these genres do thankfully seem to still be on the rise. 
And so, without further ado....here is my selection for the best viewing experiences of 2023. 
BEST MOVIES (2023 release):
Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse - Kid Friendly 4.5 Chilli Peppers 
Oppenheimer - Drama 4 Chilli Peppers
The Banshees of Inisherin - Drama 4 Chilli Peppers
Saltburn - Thriller 4 Chilli Peppers 
Talk to Me - Horror 4 Chilli Peppers 
Barbie - Comedy 4 Chilli Peppers 
John Wick Chapter 4 - Action 4 Chilli Peppers
Evil Dead Rise- Horror 3.5 Chilli Peppers
The Killer - Crime/ Action 3.5 Chilli Peppers 
Leave The World Behind - Sci-Fi 3.5 Chilli Peppers  
Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves - Action/ Super 3.5 Chilli Peppers
Guardians of the Galaxy VOL 3 - Super 3.5 Chilli Peppers 

HONOURABLE MENTIONS - 2023 Release:
Skinamarink- Horror 3 Chilli Peppers 
No Hard Feelings - Comedy  3 Chilli Peppers 
Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny - Action/ Adventure 3 Chilli Peppers 

Here are my top recommendations for pre-2023 releases that I didn't get around to seeing until 2023:
Pinocchio - Kid Friendly 5 Chilli Peppers 
Aftersun - Drama 4.5 Chilli Peppers 
Triangle of Sadness - Drama 4 Chilli Peppers
The Menu - Drama  4 Chilli Peppers
You Wont Be Alone - Art House 4 Chilli Peppers 
The Worst Person in the World - Art House 4 Chilli Peppers 
Paul Dood's Deadly Lunch Break-  Art House 3.5 Chilli Peppers 
Delicious - International 4 Chilli Peppers
Boiling Point - Drama 4 Chilli Peppers
RRR - International 3.5 Chilli Peppers
The Call - International 3.5 Chilli Peppers 
Marcel the Shell with Shoes on - Kid Friendly 3.5 Chilli Peppers 
Wildcat - Doco 3.5 Chilli Peppers 
A Man Called Otto - Drama 3.5 Chilli Peppers 
Bones and All - Horror 3.5 Chilli Peppers
The Survivor- War 3.5 Chilli Peppers 
Where the Crawdads Sing - Romance  3 Chilli Peppers
Deerskin-Art House 3 Chilli Peppers 
Baby Teeth - Romance 3.5 
Be My Cat: A Film for Anne - Gritty 3 Chilli Peppers 

BEST TELEVISION SERIES 2023:
Lessons in Chemistry - Drama 5 Chilli Peppers 
The Bear S2 - Drama 5 Chilli Peppers 
Succession S4 - Drama 5 Chilli Peppers 
The Last of Us- Sci-Fi 5 Chilli Peppers 
Love and Death - Drama 4.5 Chilli Peppers
Tiny Beautiful Things  - Drama 4.5 Chilli Peppers 
The Fall of the House of Usher - Horror 4 Chilli Peppers 
Beef - Drama/ comedy 4 Chilli Peppers 
Slip - Fantasy 4 Chilli Peppers 
Dave S3 - Comedy 4 Chilli Peppers 
The Righteous Gemstones S3 - Comedy 4 Chilli Peppers 
Platonic - Comedy 4 Chilli Peppers
Life and Beth - Drama 4 Chilli Peppers 
GEN V- Super/ Comedy 4 Chilli Peppers
Copenhagen Cowboy - Fantasy/ Art House 4 Chilli Peppers
Shrinking - Comedy/ Drama 3.5 Chilli Peppers 
Interview with the Vampire - Horror 3.5 Chilli Peppers  
Mythic Quest S3- Comedy 3.5 Chilli Peppers 
FISK S2- Comedy 3.5 Chilli Peppers
Our Flag Means Death S2 - Comedy 3.5 Chilli Peppers 
Mirror, Mirror by Todd Samson S3 - Doco 3.5 Chilli Peppers 

2023 TV HONOURABLE MENTIONS: ​
1899- Fantasy  3 Chilli Peppers 
Down for Love - Reality 3 Chilli Peppers 
The Big Door Prize - Comedy 3 Chilli Peppers 
Poker Face  - Crime 3 Chilli Peppers 
Cunk on Earth - Comedy 3 Chilli Peppers 
Daisy Jones and the Six - Drama 3 Chilli Peppers 
Always Sunny in Philadelphia S16 - Comedy 3 Chilli Peppers 
Somebody, Somewhere S2-Comedy 3 Chilli Peppers 
High Desert - Comedy/ Crime 3 Chilli Peppers 
Jury Duty - Reality/ Comedy 3 Chilli Peppers
Aunty Donna's Café- Comedy 3 Chilli Peppers
Deadloch - Crime/comedy 3 Chilli Peppers 
Swarm- Horror  3 Chilli Peppers 
War on Waste  S2- Doco 3 Chill Peppers 
The Traitors - Reality 3 Chilli Peppers 
What We Do in the Shadows S4- Horror/Comedy 3 Chilli Peppers ​

TALK TO ME
Release Date: 2023
Rating: R 18+
Running Time: 95 mins 
An Australian supernatural horror, directed by Danny and Michael Philippou. Talk To Me made its worldwide premiere at the 2023 Sundance Film Festival and has been seriously creeping out audiences ever since. With a virtually unknown cast and a seriously unsettling storyline, Talk To Me is destined to become a cult horror classic. 
A group of teenagers get their kicks from conjuring spirits, filming the outcomes and posting them onto social media. With the aid of a mysterious embalmed hand they are able to allow entities to possess their bodies, but as with all stories of possession, things go wrong and the consequences are of course, dreadful!
This is a genuinely gripping horror tale that had me captivated from start to end. Touching on concepts of grief, loss and the desperate need for belonging when it comes to teens, this film plays out in believable and disturbing ways, with the main actors giving convincing and emotional driven performances. 
Talk To Me really does get under your skin, and it also delivers enough gore and shock value to appease hardcore fans of horror. 
FINAL SAY: I let you in. 
4 Chilli Peppers ​

Looking back across the landscape of 2023, I see that overall it was a year of massive growth for me. I did a lot more than I expected to do, faced some challenges, had some celebrations and also had some massive highlights along the way as well.
I do love to brag about my amazing yearly achievements, not because I want to rub anyone's face in them, but mostly because looking back and remembering a year completely really helps me to identify all of the joys, personal highlights and reasons to be grateful, of which I have many in my life. Just take a look over the epic year that 2023 was for me: 
JANUARY: 30 Days of Yoga with Adriene, Escape Room Adventure, Seth's 18th birthday,  Mini Spa Day, Enfield deck revamp, Seth got his license, Clunes Ghost Hunt, Seppelt Winery Tour, Halls Gap Road Trip, Chinese New Year celebrations, tuned in to the Triple j Hottest 100.
FEBRUARY:  Italian Dinner Party, Blackberry picking. 
MARCH: International Women's Day, My birthday, McQueen Exhibition, Harmony Day Intercultural Celebration, Kate Bush Tribute Show. 
APRIL: Easter Sunday with the family, April holiday break, Spa Day with Craig, Eastern European Dinner Party, Craig's birthday.
MAY: Spicywatch's 9th Birthday, Golden Plains Art Trail, Mother's Day.
JUNE: Mushrooming,  Fleetwood Mac Tribute Show, The Garden's of St. Erth, Torquay Trip, Zoe's 26th Birthday.
JULY: Winter School Holidays, The Sound of Music Theatre Show, Horror Movie night, Bishop's Palace Ghost Tour, Addams Family Theatre Show.
AUGUST: Immigration Museum, Middle Eastern Dinner Party, Borealis at Daylesford Lake, Book week dress up. 
SEPTEMBER: Amazing trip to Uluru, Father's Day, Spring School Holiday Break, Mum's 80th Birthday.
OCTOBER:  Girls Shopping Day, Photo Biennale in Ballarat, Moulin Rogue Theatre Show, Yoga at Chat for Tea, Yoga Festival in Bendigo, Halloween horror movie/ dinner night.
NOVEMBER: 29th Wedding Anniversary, Deep Blue Spa, Enfield Smoke event, Public Speaking Event, Zoe and Ben's baby Shower.
DECEMBER: Summer Holidays kicking off, Seth buys his first car, Wreath Making and Candle Decorating events, Enfield Xmas Brunch, Christmas Day with the fam, Family Smoke Event. 

There is a lot here to celebrate and appreciate that's for sure. And on top of all of that, I have also managed to squeeze in:

• Daily meditation.
• 66 books.
• Workouts - 5 times a week.
• 180 movies.
• 11,000 average steps a day.
• 160 TV series - a new record for me!
• 26 brunches/ lunches and  delicious restaurant meals with family and friends. 
• A daily French lesson on Duolingo.
• Brain Gym everyday for 10 minutes.
• A daily journal entry. 
• And....I reviewed another 38 movies on Spicywatch.com bringing the total number of reviews to more than 1,000! 

Woohoo! That's a lot of 'doing' for one year! 
And now, as 2024 gently unfurls itself before me I wonder what will arrive in the next 12 months. Probably the most exciting thing will definitely be the arrival of my grandchild! As for the rest, well only time will tell, but let's hope it's as exciting as the last year was!​

SALTBURN
Release Date: 2023 
Rating: R 18+
Running Time: 127 mins 
A psychological thriller and a black comedy; written, directed and co-produced by Emerald Fennell, Saltburn is definitely one of my favourite films of 2023. Steeped in gothic mystery, chock full of unscrupulous characters and peppered with kinky interludes, Saltburn is deeply intriguing and absolutely original in every respect. 
Oliver is struggling to fit in at Oxford University. He becomes fast friends with Felix Catton, a rich and influential student that takes Oliver under his wing and asks him to join him at his family home 'Saltburn' for the summer break. Saltburn is a sprawling estate in the British countryside, filled with strange and entitled people and offering a release and a refuge to Oliver who has shared his tragic upbringing and difficult home life situation. But nothing is at all as it seems at Saltburn. 
Sumptuously designed from the costumes and sets to the exceptionally good soundtrack, Saltburn is a true jolt to the senses. Intoxicating in every way, you just cannot look away, especially from the incredible cast that sports the likes of Barry Keoghan, Jacob Elordi, Alison Oliver, Carey Mulligan and Rosamund Pike. This film made me long for a summer holiday and envy the privilege of wealth, but most of all, it made me laugh and it made me blush, and for that I am giving this a big fat tick and a very high recommendation. Feel the burn of Saltburn for yourself!
FINAL SAY: I'm sorry my performance wasn't good enough. 
4 Chilli Peppers ​

It would be fair to say that December wasn't my favourite month of the year this year. I had a huge overhaul of my long term plans, my goals and my life choices, and although this is an extremely cathartic thing to do, particularly at the end of a year, it is a whole other thing when it is actually just thrust upon you to do so. Which is how things went for me at the end of the year. You see, I thought that I had a rather solid plan for the next eight odd years of life and then it turned out that I didn't and it was a bit of a shock to the system to be honest.
The worse part of all was that it happened when everyone else was winding down for the holidays and merry making and feeling jovial and I just wasn't feeling it at all, I just wanted to go to bed, pull the covers up over my head and sleep until Christmas and all the jolly carry on was over this year. I felt deflated, directionless, let down, devalued and to be 100% truthful, I was actually depressed as hell.
Depression does not make you very good company during the silly season, it does not make you fun and it does not make you the life of the Christmas party, it makes you hard work and it makes you a Christmas sad sack. That is what I have been, a Christmas sad sack. I've tried so hard to put on a happy face and join in as best as I can, but god it has been hard.
The food didn't taste great, the wine didn't interest me, the gifts were irrelevant and pointless and everything about the season was a slog. I have never felt so tired, drained and uninterested in Christmas in my life. I just wanted a tap out, from everyone and everything, and most of all from my sad, sad self. How pathetic!
But, it turns out that the universe has others plans for me, which are continuing to unfold themselves on the daily at the moment, but when it comes to my employment choices, well that took a sharp turn at Albuquerque and it appears that my destiny does not lie where I thought it did.  Just when I thought that I saw a clear road ahead and a new way through, well I came to realise that that road was never meant for me at all. What I am actually meant to be doing is yet to reveal itself, but what I have been getting is a tonne of messages of a spiritual nature that are leading me back to my spiritual practises and opening new doorways with the right kinds of people.
Offers to join meditation groups, prayer circles, co-incidental meetings of spiritual healers and spiritual practitioners, an overwhelming reaching out in the form of kind messages from fellow meditators and like minded individuals around the globe that have been continuously flooding in, making it impossible for me to ignore the pull towards healing and self care. 
And not a moment too soon either, because I have a grandchild on the way in 2024, and if that isn't something worth getting excited about, then nothing is! And I will be damned if I am going to let the funk of 2023 ruin the opportunities of 2024 for me. Nope, all of that bullshit is over and done with now, it is time to leave all of that behind and forge valiantly into a new year, a new me and a new way of being. I feel a lot like a snake that has shed its skin, and now the possibilities seem endless for me. I can literally go wherever I want, do whatever I want and forge out a brand new pathway for myself in whatever fashion I like now. 
I have had a seismic shift, a re-route and a complete unravelling of the old me, and now, I look on at the blank canvas before me, ready to be made into whatever  I chose for me and my world. What a perfect way to end a year and start a new; 2024 is going to be my best year yet, I can already feel it. 

LEAVE THE WORLD BEHIND
Release Date: 2023
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 138 mins 
An apocalyptic thriller with an all star cast that was produced, written and directed by Sam Esmail, who is best known for his epic work on the television series Mr Robot.  The strength of Leave The World Behind really lies in the performances, everyone is delivering exceptionally well in this film, which elevates the simple and quite eerie storyline to greater heights because of that.
A family heads away for an unplanned holiday at a remote rental that guarantees that you can 'leave the world behind' when you stay there. Keen for some respite the family rush there and attempt to settle in for some down time when the owners of the establishment arrive unannounced, asking to re-enter their home due to black outs and strange occurrences that are happening in the city. 
As with all apocalyptic movies, things go from bad to worse pretty quickly, but in subtle and increasing ways. The whole thing unfolds in an unsettling fashion, but what I loved most about the film was that it was actually implying that America is a completely screwed up country that lacks the ability to save itself when push comes to shove. This is very far removed from the 'Americans save the world' apocalyptic tropes that we have been spoon fed for decades, and honestly it was refreshing. 
As I said earlier, the cast is terrific, with notable performances from Julia Roberts, Mahershala Ali, Ethan Hawke and Kevin Bacon and I do recommend a watch, especially if you enjoy apocalyptic tales. 
FINAL SAY: There is no going back to normal. 
3.5 Chilli Peppers ​

I have been ridiculously busy for the last month, not only have I barely watched any movies (shocker I know) but I have also been completely immersed in a flurry of pre-Christmas events, personal wellness activities and a multitude of celebrations, which have kept me far from my computer and far from my beloved Spicywatch. However, it is only three more weeks until my Summer holidays officially begin and I cannot wait to re-immerse myself in some sunshine, relaxation and restorative practises, which will of course involve plenty of late night movie marathons and some lengthy TV embraces. 
So what have I been so busy doing since I last blogged over a month ago? Well, shit loads but here's a quick run down:

• Five delicious restaurant dinners out with friends 
• A yoga festival weekend away in Bendigo
• Halloween Night event 
• A meat-smoke event
• Dinner at my mum's, for my Dad's 4th remembrance (we miss ya dad) 
• Swanky Cocktails at Itinerant Spirits
• Craig's parent's birthday dinner (which I hosted and catered) 
• Ceramic Open Studio visit with my bestie. 
• 29th wedding anniversary getaway to Warrnambool (visited the Deep Blue Spa)
• A Public Speaking competition for School 
• A Trivia Night at the pub
• A Baby Shower celebration for Zoe and Ben - not long to go now!

I'm guessing that you can now see why I haven't been watching many moves or blogging for four weeks, it has been a tad hectic, but really amazing as well. The next few weeks aren't looking like they will be slowing down either with all of the Yuletide events firing up and end of year celebrations lining up. However, I have created my Christmas shopping list, I have put all of the important events on the calendar which well and truly covers all of the necessary bells, whistles and jolly gatherings one could ever hope for during the silly season. And, like a good and committed movie goer, I have even created a list of 'seasonally appropriate' viewing options for the days leading up to Christmas. If you too are looking for some festival choices, I am going to share my list with you, and we can compare notes right here on Spicywatch in the coming weeks. I haven't yet seen any of the options listed below, so whether they are good or not, well that remains to be seen!
Here's my viewing line up for this December:

• A Boy Called Christmas - Netflix
• Violent Night - Netflix 
• Genie - Netflix
• Happiest Season - Netflix
• The Velveteen Rabbit - AppleTV
• That Christmas - ABC iView 
• Catherine Tate Christmas Special - ABC iView
• Miracle on 34th Steet - Disney
• Le Pupille - Disney
• High Holiday - Stan
• Jones's Family Christmas - Stan
• Almost Christmas - Stan
• Christmas Obsession Eps - Stan 
• Baking It - Seven Plus
• Candy Cane Lane - Stan 
• 8 Bit Christmas - Binge 

AND.... well, I have seen this one many times, but will probably make the time to revisit it again this season because I love it so much!

• ​The Nightmare Before Christmas - Disney. 

Today I went to a yoga class that was followed by a tea drinking and discussion session. It was nice to spend some time in the zen zone with other people because I usually practise yoga and meditation alone; daily, but mostly alone. As we sat about in the warm after-glow of our hour long yoga session, with well stretched limbs and a calm disposition, we sipped tea and discussed the topic of 'The Man Who Wanted to Change the World.'
We listened to a story about a man who set out in his 20's to change the world. In his 30's he decided that perhaps he would downscale and just change his village because the world was too large to manage. Then in his 40's he decided to just focus on changing his family because his village was too big. And then, yep you guessed it, in his 50's he finally realised that what he needed to change was himself and he finally looked inwards and embarked on a journey of self change. We then reflected on this story and shared our thoughts, understandings and experiences.
Everyone looked at it differently and shared a little slice of their own experience. Some people shared what they were hoping to achieve or change within themselves, some people talked about their challenges or desires for self improvement and some people just reflected.  There were no right or wrong answers or reflections, no judgements to be cast, it was a safe circle to share in and everyone was heard in their response. 
I was thinking a lot about the Man Who Wanted to Change the World as I listened to the story and it made me think of how far I have come in my own journey of self discovery. I think that like the 'Man' in the story I was rushing to change things around me in my 20's and 30's as well, and I even tried to change my family in my 40's only to realise that it was the way that I saw the world that needed to be healed. I didn't actually need to change anyone or anything, I needed to fix my own vibration and my perspective on things.
I was so negative and so fixated on the ugliness of life when I was younger. I wasted a lot of time judging people, making assumptions and speaking my mind like I had something important to say. I actually thought that I knew what was going on, but I didn't know shit. In truth, nothing that I had to say was very important at all and I was just masking a lot of hurt feelings and a lot of unresolved tension. I had to turn inwards and do a lot of self healing and a lot of mindfulness and a lot of rebuilding.  I had to change my perspective so that I could see what I now see. 
The world around did not need to be fixed, it was never my job to do that, in fact most of what I thought needed to be fixed just needed to be accepted. The only thing that ever needed to be fixed or changed was me and as soon as I understood that and got busy doing that, my whole life instantly changed for the better. I stop judging everyone and feeling like I needed to be in control of anyone or anything else, and I poured all of my time, effort and focus into managing me. Pretty soon,  everything else around me got so much easier and so much better. I was even starting to see beauty in the mundane, joy in the challenges and purpose in the pain. I was becoming whole because I was focusing on making myself a better person. 
And now, I no longer feel like I need to change the world around me at all. I accept the world and all of the people in it as they are with the knowledge that there is only one thing in this whole big beautiful world that I will ever have any control over, and that is me. Just me, nothing more and nothing less than that. And there is the most marvellous level of comfort to be found in that awareness that is not only liberating and freeing, but also empowering and dynamic. So now, like the 'Man Who Wanted to Change the World' I don't look to change anything or anyone but myself these days, and I am doing that one day at a  time and loving my life and the gift that it is more and more as I go. 

A MAN CALLED OTTO
Release Date: 2022
Rating: M
Running Time: 126 mins 
Sometimes I forget just how great Tom Hanks can be and then I see him in a lead role like A Man Called Otto and I am just blown away by his delivery and emotional range. An American remake of the 2015 Swedish film  A Man Called Ove, which was also based on the novel by Fredrik Backman, A Man Called Otto delivers a touching, affecting and enjoyable tale that is sure to tug at your heartstrings.
Otto is a cynical widower that is tired of living and feels exhausted by the so called 'stupidity' of the people around him. Just as he is about to check out, a new family check in across the street and bring with them both complication and distraction for Otto. Through a series of emotional flashbacks we come to understand who Otto was and how he has become the bitter retiree that he is today.
Mariana Trevino shines as Otto's new neighbour Marisol and Cameron Britton delivers as his power walking neighbour Jimmy, but no-one can outshine Hanks here as he delivers all of Otto's quirks and habits with fastidious accuracy and that subtle humour that we have all come to love about Tom Hanks. To be honest though, everyone is good here, even the scruffy stray cat! A Man Called Otto is a feel good movie that everyone can get something out of. 
FINAL SAY: Basically, his heart is too big. 
3.5 Chilli Peppers ​

Sometimes no matter how mindful you are, how much time and effort you put into yourself or how invested you are in your own wellbeing, something will happen and the wheels will just fall off your wagon. Now, this doesn't mean that you have completely derail, leaving the tracks only to plunge head first into the nearest ravine and catch on fire at the bottom, quite the opposite actually. If you get really good at filling and replenishing your own cup regularly, you will never need to have a full scale derailment again. You will not only be able to sit with your disappointments and discomforts, you'll also be able to bounce back like a boss. 
So what's the secret? Well of course it's hardly a secret but it does require you to be attentive to your own needs and aware of what may be leaking out of your cup before you get too depleted. First and foremost, and I know that you've heard me say this a million times but if you aren't doing the simple necessities well, then you have to start there. Are you eating well? Are you sleeping and resting well? Are you getting enough exercise or activity in your life? If you answered no to any of what I like to call the 'Holy Trinity' of health, then take stock and sort your shit out asap. 
Unfortunately everyone is not wrong about you needing to eat a rainbow of healthy foods, get 6-8 hours of sleep a night, drink 6-8 glasses of water a day and take in around 10,000 steps and half an hour of activity as a base line on the daily. If you are failing on of these fronts, you will feel tired, moody, emotional and probably pretty crappy for the most part. Your body is going to be struggling, so always check in with the 'Holy Trinity' before going anywhere else when your cup needs a top up.
After the 'Holy Trinity' is in order, it's time to get meeting your other needs. Check in with your balance between connection with others and your alone time. Both of these things are equally important. You need alone time to connect with yourself and to reflect on your needs and explore your desires. And you need healthy relationships and moments of connection with others to help you to understand your own value, be of service to others and explore your personal expressions of love and sexuality. However, lots of people over-do one or the other and this can leave you feeling out of balance, lonely or exhausted.  Have a think about how much time you are devoting to others and how much you are devoting to yourself. How do you spend your time with yourself? How do you spend your time with others? Are you using your time wisely? How can you improve on your relationships? How can you use your time alone in a healthy way? 
Another thing that really fills up diminished cups is time in nature and time to be creative. It has been scientifically proven that when people spend some time in nature everyday, especially early on in the day, they experience a much higher level of joy and appreciation in their daily lives. Equally valuable is any time set aside for creative output on a daily basis; a spot of painting, a little mindful colouring, daily journaling, scrapbooking, knitting, sewing, modelling or even cooking up a storm in the kitchen are great ways to stimulate the creative juices and getting a feeling of flow back into your life. 
So in short, start with checking your:

• Sleep
• Diet
• Activity 

And then look at:

• Your relationships and connections with others.
• Your time spent alone and your allocation of time for reflection. 

And last but not least try to:

• Spend some time in nature
• Be creative

Simple enough, and fairly obvious, but sometimes, we are just so busy being inside of our selves that we fail to step back and make sure that we are filling our own cups properly. Take a little time this week to do a self check, and never forget to fill your own cup and check in with yourself regularly. 

NO HARD FEELINGS 
Release Date: 2023 
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 103 mins 
A coming of age film directed by Gene Stupnitsky from a screenplay that he co-wrote with John Phillips, No Hard Feelings swings between inappropriately raunchy behaviours and painful helicopter parenting with an effortless ease that makes it a fun and enjoyable comedy from start to end. 
32 year old Maddie Barker is facing bankruptcy when an opportunity arises for her to get a car free on Craigslist. The only catch is that she has to  "date" a socially awkward and shy 19 year old boy named Percy because his wealthy parents can't deal with him leaving for college without any prior female socialisation or sexual experience. She also has to make it seem natural, so Maddie sets out to secretly seduce and socialise Percy and finds much more than she had bargained for. 
There is nothing astoundingly original or interesting about this tried and tired old movie trope, but Jennifer Lawrence makes this film great by delivering her usual high level of funny and sincere on screen as Maddie. Any icky feelings or controversy around the somewhat questionable storyline is cancelled out by the way that film constantly fails to condone or promote Maddie's crappy choices and immaturity. The teenagers in the film are obviously far more aware and mature than Maddie is and the whole point of the movie is to point out how childlike and pathetic some adults can be, which is easy to see when they are surrounded by capable and intelligent young individuals. 
Overall this is just a low-stake comedy film with higher than expected outcomes, watch it for a giggle. 
FINAL SAY: This kid's undatable!
3 Chilli Peppers ​

I have just returned from a weeks long holiday in the Northern Territory of Australia, primarily the Yulara area near Uluru. I travelled with a friend and it was both of our first times in the NT and also our first time travelling together; and to be 100% honest, it couldn't have been a more enjoyable trip. Everything, from the moment that we departed for the red centre to the time that we touched down back in Victoria went like clockwork. No hiccups, no problems and no distress, just a smooth sailing and very delightful holiday, and a mighty fine first introduction to the joys of the Northern Territory. 
In the space of six days we saw the three 'big' rocks of the area - Uluru, Atila and Kata Tjuta, all of which hold a special, strange and ancient magic to them. My favourite by far was Kata Tjuta also known as The Olga's which means 'many heads'. The rocks themselves look like sleeping indigenous giants at Kata Tjuta, and although I also loved Uluru, the sunrise at Kata Tjuta  is an undeniably spiritual place to be. I definitely felt like there was a strong spiritual presence at Kata Tjuta, something sacred and powerful; but all three rocks are kind of like an ancient holy trinity that really need to be seen to be fully appreciated. 
In spite of the incredible heat that we 'Ballaratarians' are most certainly not used to (Uluru was averaging 35 degrees most days) we still somehow managed to clock up over 85,000 steps in total which equates to over 66 kilometres of walking in six days, and some of those steps were done whilst walking (struggling, panting) straight up the side of Kings Canyon, which almost slayed me completely!
We also did some fantastic garden and bush tucker workshops to learn about the medicinal, culinary and cultural significance of the flora in the area, which I would highly recommend. And we enjoyed an amazing dot painting session with an indigenous elder woman called Evelyn who was a total boss. And now, thanks to Evelyn, I feel like I actually understand the stories in the indigenous paintings that I see. Needless to say, I have purchased one from a local to put up on my wall to commemorate my journey and can interpret everything that is featured in it as well. 
We took in the Field of Lights installation one evening, which houses over seven football fields of tiny colour changing lights that magically alter and shimmer against the darkness of the desert. We also managed to catch sight of most of the sunrises and sunsets which offer so many shades of pink, peach, purple, blue and gold, and some of the most incredible photo opportunities on the planet. 
We happily walked the base of Uluru, visited GOCA (the Gallery of Central Australia), went on a trip to Curtain Springs where we saw some of the vast Northern salt lakes, some cattle stations and a few wild brumbies. Then we got super gutsy and headed to King's Canyon where we did the full 3.5 hour rim walk in the blazing midday sun (death became me). And to top it all off we even learned all about 'The Dark Emu' in the sky, a dark space between the stars in the Milky Way that the local indigenous people navigate by.
In short, we had a hectic, heavenly and incredibly rewarding trip to the red centre that I would recommend that everyone should do at least once in their lifetime. It truly is a place like no other place that I have ever gone to before and I have some marvellous memories to keep from my adventures in the NT. From the red desert sands to the fields of wildflowers, from the giant monolithic rocks to the tiny lizards that scuttle about on their back legs and from the ritzy five star spa stays to the backpackers bar, there is something to suit everyone's taste, capability and price bracket in the NT. And what a gift it was to see it all with a dear friend and to have the time off to enjoy it completely. Feeling very grateful and also a little tired, but wow, what an amazing trip we had!

We all deserve to know our worth and we all deserve love, kindness and compassion. Often we are very good at providing this to others, but rarely are we very good at offering it to ourselves. In fact usually we are our own worst enemies, judging ourselves harshly and treating ourselves with a lot less respect and gentleness than we deserve. We willingly life up others but happily allow ourselves to suffer. 
But alas! I am growing tired of playing out all of the tired and un-desired tropes with myself. I am growing very, very tired of constantly judging myself and being unkind to myself; and I am choosing to do things differently. I am motivated by being happy, I am moved by self love and kindness and I know that I am good person who deserves to be proud of myself and kinder to myself. Some of the thigs that I have said and done to myself over the years have been utterly unacceptable and refuse to beat myself up any longer. So here, on the precipice of my 50th birthday , I am making a move to choose better for myself. I am taking steps to mend my own fences, set my own boundaries and love myself for who I am today.
And to help me to do that, I have made a list of things that I am going to start doing for myself. Not because I want to change, but because I deserve to unshackle myself from the deeply unkind and relentlessly mean ways that I have treated myself in the past. I deserve to choose better for myself. So from here on, I choose to:

• Surround myself with people who are good for my mental health.
• Increase the time I spend doing self care practises. 
• Talk respectfully about myself when I am speaking to other people.
• Listen to my body and give it what it needs before I worry about everyone else's needs.
• Stop feeling guilty when I do nice things for myself. 
• Accept the ebb and flow of my feelings without needing to project them onto others. 
• Set boundaries around how I let others speak and interact with me. 
• Ask for help when I need it.
• Love and respect my body shape and stop being insecure about the way that I look. 
• Accept that my past is a story of who I was and not who I am now. 
• Eat well and sleep well. 
• Forgive myself for all of the shitty things that I did while I was still under construction. 
• Stop over-reacting or being over-complacent. 
• Acknowledge my strengths and achievements. 

Okay, so it probably won't happen overnight, by I tell you, it will happen. I am heading into my power decade, I can feel it. No more messing about for me, I have wasted too many tears and way too many years not loving myself enough or respecting myself enough and quite frankly, I'm totally sick and tired of it!
It's time to choose better for me, I deserve it!

AFTERSUN
Release Date: 2022
Rating: M
Running Time: 102 mins
An autobiographical drama, written and directed by Charlotte Wells in her feature directorial debut. Aftersun premiered at the Cannes Film Festival in 2022 where it was nominated for the Golden Camera, and after receiving a BAFTA and Academy Award nomination, it was named one of the best films of 2022 by the National Board of Review. 
Calum is a young father about to turn 31, he is travelling with his 11 year old daughter, Sophie. They are vacationing together in Turkey, staying at a low budget resort and discovering things about each other and themselves along the way. 
Although Aftersun presents as a coming of age film, it is really about the gaps in generations and the times in our lives when we just 'don't seem to fit.' Sophie is a tween, struggling between being both too old and too young for so many things in life, and Calum, as a young single father, is as equally marooned as she is in social settings. Calum struggles with his depression that bubbles up from time to time, and he valiantly attempts to styme those feelings with his multitude of self help techniques and escapisms. Sophie, although young, is often in a role of support or tolerance and the whole film plays out with a melancholic reverence that is every bit as prickly as the feeling of after-sun upon the skin itself. 
I loved the glimpses of Sophie in the future, turning 31 herself and reflecting on her time with her young father, and I found the entire film profoundly affecting and deeply moving. Paul Mescal is incredibly good as Calum and Celia Rowlson-Hall beautifully delivers all of the nuance and sensitivity of Sophie with a wisdom that is well beyond her years.  Aftersun is definitely a film not to be missed. 
FINAL SAY:  I think  it's nice that we share the same sky. 
4.5 Chilli Peppers ​

No one has it all worked out, and it is important to remember that, especially if you are prone to playing the comparison game. Everyone will try to make their lives look more rosy and put together than they really are, and that's not because we are liars or deceivers, it's because we are living in a world that praises perfection and leaves very little room for error.
People don't want the world to know about the things that they are getting wrong, they want the world to see them striving, not surviving. And honestly, I don't think that there is anything wrong with that, fake it until you make it and focus on the wins, it's not a bad way to be. However, we all really know that no-one has it all together all of the time and that we all have work to do on ourselves from time to time - or my case; most of the time! If you have read my blog posts more than once, you will quickly work out that I am more than happy to let the world know when I stumble and falter and it is often, very often actually. The most important thing to focus on when you do have moments of doubt, self loathing or turmoil is what you need to do in order to lift yourself back up again. 
I recently stumbled across this terrific trouble shooting guide from @anxiousheartguide that outlines where you may need to invest some time and effort based on the area in your life that that you are struggling in. Now like all the advice/ opinion that I post on my blog, none of it is fool proof or guaranteed to fix you or your problems. However, in saying that, it certainly won't hurt you to consider the options and if, like me, you have nothing to lose then you too may find this little tip sheet pretty helpful. Thrash it or trash it? It is totally up to you.

TROUBLE SHOOTING GUIDE TO KNOWING WHAT YOU NEED TO WORK ON:
STRUGGLE: clingy or needy behaviours
WHERE THE WORK IS: independence and self worth

STRUGGLE: overanalysing and worrying
​WHERE THE WORK IS: mindfulness, meditation and journaling

STRUGGLE: overprioritizing other
​WHERE THE WORK IS: self worth and therapy

STRUGGLE: inability to self sooth or regulate
​WHERE THE WORK IS: therapy, EFT, somatics

STRUGGLE: Intolerance of partner availability 
​WHERE THE WORK IS: hobbies, personal interests 

STRUGGLE: losing yourself in a relationship 
​WHERE THE WORK IS: finding and committing to your values, passions 

STRUGGLE: dependency and co-dependency
​WHERE THE WORK IS: independence and interdependence 

STRUGGLE: Intolerance to being alone
​WHERE THE WORK IS: solo passion projects and friendships

STRUGGLE: Timidity  and lack of confidence 
​WHERE THE WORK IS: Assertiveness education and classes 

STRUGGLE: Oversharing
​WHERE THE WORK IS: sharing self in increasing increments 

STRUGGLE: Fear of criticism or rejection
​WHERE THE WORK IS: Vulnerability and open communication 

STRUGGLE: Need for constant reassurance 
​WHERE THE WORK IS: Trust building and self esteem

STRUGGLE: Moodiness, impulsivity, instability 
​WHERE THE WORK IS: Therapy, meditation and mindfulness

STRUGGLE: Jealousy or insecurity
​WHERE THE WORK IS: vulnerability and open communication 
​
STRUGGLE: stuffing down words, needs or upsets 
​WHERE THE WORK IS: open communication and trust 

STRUGGLE: Dealing with the bullshit patriarchy
WHERE THE WORK IS: Watch the Barbie movie and have a laugh!
(Lol - that one was mine!) 

BARBIE
Release Date: 2023
Rating: PG
Running Time: 114 mins 
A fantasy comedy directed by Greta Gerwig, who wrote the screenplay with Noah Baumbach; Barbie, which is based around the Mattel fashion dolls called Barbie, hits all the right notes and delivers something that is extremely funny, undeniably woke and fantastically pink in every way. 
Barbie (Margot Robbie) and all the other Barbie versions have the most perfect life in Barbieland. It's all smiles and parties in this matriarchal wonderland where Beach Ken (Ryan Gosling) and all the other Ken's exist only to make the Barbie's happy. However, when Barbie gets pulled into the real world due to an outside influence, she discovers that she has not been the perfect role model in the real world that she thought she was. And Ken, who rides along with her, discovers how the patriarchy works, and soon everything in Barbie's world begins to fall apart. 
This is laugh out loud material from start to end. The costumes, sets and designs are dazzling, the soundtrack is fun and thoughtfully put together and Robbie and Gosling are hilariously great as Barbie and Ken. What I wasn't expecting was for it to be so genuinely moving and poignant about the purpose of being a female role model; there is a genuinely great message being conveyed here that will hopefully not be lost on younger audiences.  And Ken's grappling of the what patriarchy looks like in extreme was also really well fleshed out and explored. 
Not just a pink flash in the pan, Barbie is a movie that people will go back to and play again and again for the laughs and the tears, not unlike the beloved doll herself. 
FINAL SAY: Humans have only one ending. Ideas live forever. 
​4 Chilli Peppers ​

I was having a great chat with Zoe (my daughter) recently about the way that we measure health. She is 14 weeks pregnant and is glowing from within. Her skin, nails and hair are immaculate and she has the happy disposition of a first mother-to-be, which is generally a mixture of curiosity about the unknown and excited anticipation about what inevitably lies ahead. In short, she is demonstrating what it looks like to be a healthy expecting mother. 
We got to talking about weight gain (since it is always on the mind of expectant mothers) and I chatted with her about my personal weight loss goals for the year, which are going along pretty well. And although the scales are moving backwards very slowly but surely, my body is looking firmer and feeling stronger by the day, which I love more than any number on a scale. And then she posed a very thought provoking question to me, which was - why do I feel like I need to be a certain number on a scale?  I gave her my BMI rant and explained that it is one area that I feel like I have struggled to maintain control over and it bothers me. Okay, she said, but rather than it being based on a BMI number why don't you make it goal around fitting into something for Summer or Spring that you already own, something that may be tight at the moment? Hmmmm....my mind was ticking. 'You do know,' she went on, 'that BMI is really outdated and fails to measure many other important health indicators right?' Ah, no, not really. Okay so this lead me into a deep dive, was this true? Is BMI outdated, is true health measured in other ways? And if so, in what ways? 
Turns out, she is bloody well right. Physicians all over the world are seriously questioning the usefulness of BMI. For a start it was created in the 19th century, which makes it seriously outdated and out of touch with what a real measurement of health actually is, and it does not account for age, sex, ethnicity, genetics or gender. It was popularised in the 1970's when thin was in, and yet it still continues to dominate as a health measure today. In fact there a number of other health metrics that are now giving physicians a far more accurate measure of what health is and these are the things that you should be paying attention to when measuring your own health levels:
Waist Circumference:
A larger waist circumference - one greater than 35 inches (85cm) in women or 40 inches (101.6cm) in men - indicates greater body fat in the abdominal area, which is associated with a higher risk of chronic disease. 
Hip to Waist Ratio:
A high ratio (greater than 0.80 in women or greater that 0.95 in men) indicates higher fat stores in the stomach area and is linked to a greater risk of heart disease and chronic disease. A low ratio (lower than or equal to 0.80 in women or lower that or equal to 0.95 in men) suggests higher hip fat storage which is associated with better health.
Blood Pressure:
A normal blood pressure reading is between 120/80 mmHg and 129/84 mmHg.  Having a high blood pressure raises your risk of heart attack, stroke, kidney damage, vision problems and sexual dysfunction. 
Heart Rate:
A normal resting heart rate for adults ranges from 60 to 100 beats per minute. Find yourself over that and you're at risk of heart failure, stroke and even sudden cardiac death. 
Cholesterol Levels:
For a healthy population, your cholesterol should be less than 5.5 mmol/L. A high cholesterol reading can lead to narrowing arteries, heart attack, stroke, mini stroke or peripheral heart disease. 
Blood Glucose Levels:
A normal range of fasting blood glucose levels is between 70 and 100 mg/dL. Everyone knows that diabetes is a serious problem with a multitude of health related risks attached. If you have high blood glucose readings you could find yourself with a diagnosis for diabetes.  
Overall Inflammation:
How does your body feel? Do you have a lot of injuries, pain, aches, physical symptoms that are debilitating or detrimental to your ability to function well? If you are suffering from recurring or persistent inflammation anywhere in your body, this can be an indication of poor health. 
Mental Wellbeing:
How's your head space and your mindset? Do you have a positive outlook and a sunny disposition or are you struggling with your mental wellbeing, wellness and general lust for life? Mental health is a serious component of overall health and can have detrimental effects on many other parts of the body and lead to physical symptoms and inflammation if it goes unchecked. 
Diet and Water Intake:
You are what you eat and unfortunately if you eat and drink crap you will feel like crap and your body will get ill. What you put into your body will determine how well it will run, how effective your immune system will function and  how much energy you will have to face the day, so be discerning and eat properly and wisely. 
Sleep Patterns:
People that sleep better live longer and have less health problems overall. Your body not only rests when you are sleeping, it heals itself as well and sleep is vital to tissue repair and the regeneration of healthy cells. If you aren't getting 6-8 quality hours of sleep a night, you may find yourself with some serious health issues as a consequence. 

The good news for me is, that I pass on all of those other tests. I am within the normal range of each of those other health indicators, which is super good news for my wellbeing. Does this now mean that I no longer want to lose a few kilos? Nah, I still want to, but not to reach a certain number on the scale so much anymore, but just for my own satisfaction. Zoe said to me  -do you really think that people are going to stand around at your funeral and say "if only she was a stone lighter, we would've loved her so much more!" Which, when you really think about it is pretty funny and totally true. It is fine to want to lose some weight, but the people who really love you the most are going to love you bones and all no matter what, and there is a great deal of comfort to be found in that knowledge. 

BONES AND ALL
Release Date: 2022
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 121 mins 
A romantic horror directed by Luca Guadagnino and based on the 2015 novel of the same name by Camille DeAngelis. Bones and All unpacks a fresh horror perspective as well as a coming of age love story in one fell swoop.
It's the late 80's and Maren, a teenager, finds herself abandoned by her father when she acts on her increasing hard to ignore cannibalistic tendencies. On the run and searching to discover the true nature of who and what she is, Maren bumps into some of her own kind which has both delightful and disastrous consequences. 
Not for the faint-hearted, Bones and All  delivers something equal parts repellent and compelling. The acting here is incredibly good with Timothee Chalamet, Taylor Russell and Mark Rylance bringing stunning and genuine performances all round. The overall effect is seriously contemplative and very original. 
FINAL SAY: There's before bones and all, and then there's after. 
3 Chilli Peppers ​

Yes, we have all heard it before, the truth will set you free and liberate you and blah, blah, blah...but sometimes the truth can be a motherfucker and throat punch you to the ground, especially if you aren't expecting it. And even when well meaning people may deliver truths to you in a kind a gentle way, some truths are never easy to hear or experience. For me, there are a couple of really scathing truths that tend to sting like a bitch and unfortunately, never get easier to deal with no matter how wise or well travelled you may get to be in this life time. 
The first truth that blows is getting old, it's an unavoidable truth and we can't do anything about it, everyone on the planet is getting older by the day. And, to be honest I am actually really cool about getting old most of the time, but sometimes my ego takes a slap and I feel like the frumpiest, fattest and oldest person in the room on those days and I hate the truth about getting old. 
I get these feelings only when someone that is the same as age as me is around and another person points out (like I am not even in the room) that they look so much younger than me. Now it is also really poor manners in my mind to say shit like that anyway, but you would not believe how many times this has actually happened to me (concerningly more than twice now); and does it sting? Oh fuck yes it does! No one minds being old, but when people point out that someone looks a lot younger than you and they are your age, it is really not good for your ego. 
Generally, comments like this send me into a tail spin of confusion and self loathing. It usually goes like this: Am I looking ancient? Why don't I look younger? How much younger do they think that person is than me? I think they look my age, am I delusional? What am I doing wrong? I think I look okay, am I delusional about what I actually look like as well? Should I up my skin regimen? Do I need to get botoxed? What the fuck are people thinking when they look at me, that I look old?  Ahhhhh..... Basically it is gross and although I can accept the truth about getting older, the comments made about looking older than a peer are just too harsh a truth to swallow and I wish people wouldn't do it. 
However, that being said all power to the lucky people who do look younger than their age, that's awesome for them, just crappy for me because I clearly look every bit of my almost 50 years. And this brings me to another shitty truth, that women over 40 are invisible. I've whined about this one before so I am going to keep it brief, but once a woman gets to a certain vintage, they become about as appealing as a petrol station hot dog. Sure other women will listen to their wisdom, but men couldn't give a fuck about them and it doesn't even matter if they are fit or well put together, men just aren't that interested in women over 40, it's a proven fact. But being invisible in one thing, when you get to 50, you start to become irrelevant as well and men will literally walk into you on the street like you weren't even there! There are only two ways to gain back the attentions of men (should you want that) as you get older. The first is surgery, you need to get surgery so that you look 20 years younger or you can become a bag lady like the crazy cat lady on The Simpsons and gain attention by being the scary, weird, witch woman of the town that men will definitely notice so that they can avoid completely. Neither of these options appeal to me, so invisible and irrelevant it is then!
And the final truth that kills, and cannot be avoided is that in your life you are going to have to deal with break ups. Breaking up, whether from a relationship, friendship or kinship hurts like a motherfucker! The old adage that breaking up is hard to do is so very, painfully true. There is no way to avoid it, we all go through different break ups. Sometimes it is a death, sometimes it is divorce or separation and sometimes it is abandonment or estrangement, none of it is easy. You have to go through all of the stages of separation one way or another, and it is hard and it takes time and it feels like you're never going to get better when you are in it.
We've all been there and we have all seen the struggle in others, and it is hard and horrible. Breaking up is, for me, the hardest truth of them all. I think that is because I love very deeply and give a great deal of myself to all of my relationships, so breaking up in any form is really difficult for me and takes me a lot of time and also therapy to recover from.  I also really hate to watch others go through it almost as much as I hate to experience it myself, and because the process of actually letting go it is so unique for everyone, it is also challenging to predict how people will cope and how much to intervene or advise. Breaking up is hard to do and that is a shitty and horrible truth.
You know what, sometimes the truth does not set you free at all! Sometimes the truth fucking sucks, and that is one truth that I can get behind!

THE DRY 
Release Date: 2020
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 117 mins
An Australian drama mystery based on the novel of the same name by Jane Harper and a sweet return to great Australian cinema for me. It's been a while since I have seen such an excellent depiction of the harsh, dry Aussie landscape and The Dry manages to captures it; and the attitudes of small rural communities in Victoria with a plausible authenticity. 
Federal Agent Aaron Falk (Eric Bana) returns to his home town under the request of his childhood friend's parents. They are seeking Falk's help in the investigation around their son's death and the strange and unsettling circumstances that surround it. Falk reluctantly tries to solve the mystery of the heinous crime but finds himself dragged back into another local drama that forced him to flee the town many years ago. 
Eric Bana is brilliant as Falk and it was so good to see him back on screen again after such a long hiatus. He is well supported by Genevieve O'Reilly, John Polson and Miranda Tapsell but it cannot be denied that The Dry  is definitely held up by Bana's performance. 
Amidst the complexities of the crimes being unveiled throughout the film are some really solid messages about small town loyalties and the need for secrecy and acceptance in tight knit rural communities. The struggles of the farmers and labourers are also touched upon and the unforgiving and dangerous Aussie landscape provides a perfectly formidable backdrop to all of the drama.
FINAL SAY: The biggest secrets can never stay hidden. 
3 Chilli Peppers ​

I think that the amount of energy that I have been pouring into a stone of weight has made me forget how much I actually really do love my body. In truth, I really don't hate my body or the shape of it at all. And I really want to re-iterate that I never went on a weight loss journey because I don't like who I am or how my body looks, I just feel like being in my healthy weight range is going to offer me more longevity and better health overall. There is nothing wrong with me or anyone who carries some extra weight and I have absolutely zero issue with other people's weight or their body choices. 
I don't care if you're skinny as a toothpick or round as a grapefruit, it matters not to me either way and anywhere in between is also fine by me as well for that matter. I am not doing this for anyone but myself and my ability to stay well and be healthy. And to be clear, my body operates amazingly well as it is now and there is nothing 'wrong' with my body. I have no health issues, I don't take any medications, I eat a balanced and nutrient rich diet, I get daily exercise, drink lots of water and have reasonably good hair and skin. Nobody has judged me, said anything to me or made me feel like I need to change who I am or how I look. 
I don't have a poor opinion of myself and all I am looking for is a number on a BMI scale that says that I am not in the overweight category. My reason for this is because it has been suggested by health care professionals that in general, people who remain within their healthy BMI range live longer lives and stay healthier as they get older. That is it, that is my one and only reason for wanting to shed around a stone of extra weight. It isn't radical or extreme and it isn't because I want to look a certain way. In fact, I actually quite like how my body looks and enjoy all of the things that it can do and how strong I feel. 
However, when I was a stone lighter, I did like the way that my clothes fit, I did like having more space to move in my jeans and I did like being able to do more yoga poses and balances with better ease of movement. But that is honestly it, there wasn't really a huge change in my lifestyle. I was still doing all of the same things, and I was still very much the same person with the same issues and the same thoughts and feelings and insecurities. In other words, I know that a stone of weight is not going to change who I am or magically 'fix' me, that would be a stupid and naïve way to think and I don't expect that to happen. I am not doing this for any other reason than my BMI. In fact if that was still in the healthy weight range, I wouldn't even be undertaking an attempt to lose weight. 
Anyway, with that being said, I have been hyper focused on not being hideous or cruel to my body as I go through the process of shedding some weight and have added some really lovely rituals to my everyday to take care of both my physical and emotional wellbeing along the way. These are not huge things or high impact changes, they are just lovely things that I have really enjoyed incorporating into my daily routine that have boosted my sense of wellness and self care and made me feel good about myself. They have also been quite wonderful to practise over the coldest and darkest weeks of the year as well.
1. Tea drinking - not just any old tea, but a proper brewed pot of delicious leaf tea that is not only great tasting and incredible smelling, but adds to my fluid intake greatly throughout the day. 
2. Sweating and Cooling -  the odd sauna and plunge pool does wonders for the circulation and is an amazing undertaking, especially during the colder months.  If like me, you cannot always afford to go to the local spa regularly, a really hot bath followed by a very cold shower works just as well. 
3. Nature Walking - Nothing raises spirits and mood quicker than a stroll in a lovely space. Most botanical garden, parks and nature reserves are pretty empty in winter and you can wander about with your headphones listening to a podcast or audio book for many uninterrupted hours. 
4. Dry Brushing and Gua sha - Increased blood flow, improved circulation and glowing healthy skin all happen when you dry brushing and gua sha. I cannot believe the improvement of my cellulite since doing this regularly, and the tightening of the skin on my face is noticeable. It doesn't take long and it really works, teach yourself how with simple YouTube tutorials. 
5. Moisturising - Get out the body butter and moisturise like your life depends on it. People don't moisturise enough in winter and it is a deceptively drying time of the year for skin. Do it now and you'll glow for Spring!
6. Affirmations -  Say something lovely to yourself everyday, preferably when you look in the mirror in the morning. It doesn't have to be over the top or ridiculous, it can be as simple as - 'you're doing great' or 'you are a good person who deserves good things' or my personal favourite 'you've got this!' 

Whatever your goal may be, whether its body orientated or something totally different, just remember to always be kind to yourself along the way; take extra care of your mindset and offer love to your inner-space, and then the journey can be just as enjoyable as the destination.

INNERSPACE
Release Date: 1987
Rating: PG
Running Time: 120 mins 
I recall going to the movies when I was only eleven to see this film and loving everything about it. It will always be a childhood favourite of mine, but it still has tonnes of laughs and after a recent rewatch, I can assure you that it still manages to deliver a very zany and enjoyable science fiction ride. 
A test pilot who has been shrunken down to nanobot size in a secret lab experiment, ends up being accidentally injected into a nervous grocery clerk and must enlist his help to be released before he returns to full size. 
The cast is just terrific, with real life couple Dennis Quaid and Meg Ryan filling lead roles, and Martin Short in one if his funniest roles ever as the worry wart hypochondriac Jack Putter. 
Directed by Joe Dante and written by Jeffrey Boam and Chip Proser, Innerspace had some cutting edge effects and concepts back in it's time and although they may have dated a little, the physical comedy most certainly has not. Sporting a kick ass cast and a buzzing '80s soundtrack, this movie is a sci-fi/ comedy treat that the whole family can enjoy. 
FINAL SAY: Oh God! Somebody help me! I'm possessed!
3.5 Chilli Peppers ​

There is nothing quite like a stretch of crappy winter weather to provide the perfect opportunity for a bit of cosy self care time. All of the best self care can be done from the comfort of your own home and in winter, you need to really hone your self care skills. It's easy to get run down, depressed and unwell during the darker months, so making sure that you are doing lovely things for your mind, body and spirit is not only a good idea, its downright wise. 
Here is a useful list of delightfully simple and inexpensive ways to recharge your batteries, reenergise your mood and re-invigorate your system on a wet and gloomy winter weekend.

• Stream a movie
• Listen to some music or make a new playlist
• Read a book
• Knit a scarf or beanie
• Take a bubble bath
• Grab an umbrella and take a walk in the rain
• Try a new recipe
• Clean out your wardrobe
• Binge watch a tv series 
• Do some mindful colouring in
• Learn a new language
• Look through your old photo albums
• Make a vision board
• Put on a face mask
• Have coffee and cake with a friend
• Listen to a podcast
• Meditate
• Plan a holiday 
• Do YouTube yoga
• Make a dessert
• Give yourself a make over
• Sew something
• Take a nap
• Home manicure or pedicure 
• Declutter a cupboard
• Take an online class
• Play a video game
• Start a journal
• Read a magazine or blog
• Play cards 
• Do YouTube Pilates
• Bake biscuits or cupcakes
• Create a collage 
• Call a friend or family member 
• Sing and dance to your favourite songs
• Make a bucket list
• Paint a picture 
• Put outfits together in your wardrobe 
• Write thank you cards to people you value
• Give yourself a new hairdo
• Play a board game 
• DIY something around the house
• Play an app 
• Make a time capsule
• Try nail art
• Watch a documentary 
• Plan a vegetable garden to plant in the spring
• Play with a pet
• Make soup 
• Do an online workout 
• Meal prep
• Donate to a charity online
• Watch funny YouTube clips
• Do a puzzle
• Learn how to read tarot cards 
• ​Watch a movie off the spicywatch Hall of Fame list

Just find something to do that makes you feel amazing! Try to embrace the quiet calm of the winter months and above all else, be kind to your beautiful self. 

THE LODGE
Release Date: 2019
Rating: R 18+
Running Time: 113 mins 
A psychological horror film directed by Veronika Franz and Severin Fiala that delivers a grim and hard hitting portrait of a family in crisis. Ever since Ari Aster gave us the brilliant thriller Hereditary, a lot of other movies have jumped on the 'mentally scarred family in deep crisis' trope and have not been able to deliver. The Lodge certainly does deliver, but it's extremely large helpings of grim isolation, mental torment and painful grief are definitely going to be too jarring for some viewers. 
After their mother suicides, teenage Aidan and young Mia go to live with their father who has just entered another serious relationship with a woman named Grace that he met through his latest research novel about cults. They all retreat to the family's remote lodge in Massachusetts during the deep winter period for some rest and relaxation, what could possibly go wrong?
Everything about this film felt like a red flag to me. You've got the clearly grieving, betrayed and angry children, the clueless father who willingly takes an ex-cult member on holidays to a remote place and Grace herself who is stealthily guzzling meds and has a little dog that appears to do nothing but sit in a basket. It all felt a bit contrived and highly unlikely at its essence. However, there were some good plot twists and ideas being tossed around here, and Riley Keough who plays Grace delivers a gripping and convincing portrayal of a women in peril. 
Not a life changer, but a worthy watch nonetheless. 
FINAL SAY: Nearer, My God, to Thee.
3 Chilli Peppers ​

I am still battling on with my weight goals, and I am finding that my weight continues to yo-yo back and forth between a few kilos from week to week, and I have not really made much more progress than my initial loss of 2 kilos. This slow progress is really nobodies fault but my own as I swing between fully committed and being tepidly involved. I find that as soon as I try to be too restrictive I just want food all the more, this may have a lot to do with my resistance to authority and hard rules, but whatever the reason, the weight is not coming off me as fast as I would like it to. 
I initially made a commitment to get back to my healthy weight range in early March and three months later I have only lost 2 kilos. Don't get me wrong, two kilos is better than no kilos, but its a lot slower than I had envisioned and if I had the moxie to fully commit, I would've already reached my goal by now. However, I cannot deny that I have no-one to blame but myself for still having the best part of 8 kilos to shed before December; I have only given this a half-hearted go, and at times I have been downright flippant and self indulgent. It is super easy to snack outside of meal times, have a little dessert or treat in the evening or drink my body in weight in cocktails and whiskey on a night out, none of which will shed kilos or boost metabolism. And things have to change. 
So, with just over six months to go, I have to stop the bullshit, get serious and really commit if I want to see any sort of result this year. It's only 8 kilos for fuck sake, how hard can it be? LOL! Talk about famous last words, everyone knows that the last 10 kilos of weight loss are the hardest to achieve, so I am being realistic about the fact that this last leg of the race with my wellbeing is probably going to require the most fortitude and effort. Everyone knows its always darkest before the dawn, and clearly my wayward and tepid efforts have only gotten me 2 kilos of movement in 3 months, so if I want to get to my goal by Christmas, well I need to double down on the effort now. No more shitty eating and drinking for me, time to get serious and cut the portions. 
Never fear, I still won't be resorting to cuckoo methods or diabolical extremes, just being more consistent and mindful about food and the way that I deal with it. Consistency is what I need, not the fits and spurts that I have given over so far. Time to roll up the sleeves, dig down and get it sorted and the first thing I am doing is distracting myself from food by setting myself a 31 day poetry challenge. Poetry? What the hell, how's that going to help? I hear you cry; yes poetry, that's what I said - POETRY!
I don't need more activity, because I do yoga and walk 10,000 steps a day, that's enough movement. I don't need more zen because I meditate and write in my journal every day. I don't need more hobbies because I blog, watch movies and TV, read, take French lessons, garden, road trip, brain train, cook and entertain friends in my free time; so I don't have a lot more space for anything big to fit into my routine. However, I have always loved to write poetry and have been doing it on and off since I was about 7 years old.  I have loads of old poetry journals and even have a collection of drunk poetry that I only write when I am shitfaced, and they are so funny and ridiculous! 
Anyway, I am taking on a poetry challenge, where I have to write a piece of poetry everyday for a month about a chosen topic. Instead of reaching for a snack, I will be reaching for a pen. And I don't have to decide what to write about, I just have to write it, in any way that I want, as long or as short as I feel. The topics are outlined below:

1. Happy Things
2. Regret
3. A memory
4. Home
5. Joy
6. Space
7. From me to you
8. Goals
9. A letter
10. Growth
11. Precious
12. For myself
13. A quote
14. Colours
15. Time
16. Words
17. A scent
18. Goner
19. Fake
20. A Season
21. Secrets
22. Anger
23. Eternity
24. Laughter
25. Addiction
26. Reality
27. Lover
28. Release 
29. A Lie
30. Hope
31. Favourite 

Let's see what diving back in to poetry can do for my mood and my waistline! Will the power of the word be enough to distract me from mindless eating? Let's see what happens, it certainly can't hurt that's for sure. 

FRIDA
Release Date: 2002
Rating: MA 15+ 
Running Time: 125 mins 
A biographical drama film directed by Julie Taymor which depicts the professional and private life of surreal Mexican artist Frida Kahlo. Through intimate storytelling and visually striking events we are given a candid view of Frida's larger then life persona and passion for the arts.
At only 18 years of age Frida Kahlo suffered a traumatic injury that would plague her for the rest of her life, however it did not stop the talented and vivacious woman from living her best life and creating magnificent works of art. 
Salma Hayek is a vision as Frida Kahlo, a role that saw her nominated for an Academy Award and to date this is still my favourite role that I have ever seen Hayek portray. Alfred Molina is also excellent as Frida's life partner Diego Rivera and the cast is well supported by cinema heavyweights like Geoffrey Rush as Trotsky and Antonio Banderas as Siquerios.   
From the colourful interludes, the brilliant soundtrack and the genuinely interesting storyline, Frida is a movie about art that is actually a work of art itself!
FINAL SAY: I had two big accidents in my life Diego, the trolley and you. 
3.5 Chilli Peppers ​

Everyone wants to feel like they are liked and they belong. For some people fitting in and being liked is like second nature, they just have a way about them that makes people enjoy their company and a certain way of engaging others that makes people desire more time with them. For other people however, being in social situations can feel more like navigating shark infested waters than being natural. It is actually very unnatural for some and no matter what they do or how they do it, they seem to make mistakes; stumbling about in social interactions making one bumble after another.
These kinds of people often struggle to make connections with others or just generally feel like they aren't running with the crowd. It can lead to them having difficult feelings of isolation or inadequacy, and can even lead to social anxiety and depression. And although there is no cure for being socially awkward, there are some nifty little psychological tricks that you can implement that will make people like you more than they did before. And the best part of all is that you don't  have to a lot to make these things work, just a few small changes and you'll be off and running. 
Firstly, if you want to be liked in your workplace and avoid all the drama, compliment people behind their back instead of whinging or bitching about them behind their backs. People will fast identify you as a good guy and will also not feel safe to whine or bitch to you, since you don't engage in that kind of chatter. This will keep you out of idle gossip and will help you to find the good in your colleagues. 
When you say "you're right" instead of "I know" it will remove the asshole factor from your listening methods. Validating people's feelings and keeping your own on the shelf is smart and it will make people feel like you're an awesome listener. Everyone loves being right and they will like it when you tell them so, just make sure that you're "righting" to empower and not joining in the hate-fest banter. 
Instead of asking "Do you have any questions?" ask "What questions do you have?" The first almost always results in silence, while the second helps people feel comfortable to ask, like you think that there should be questions and you're expecting to be asked. People will respond in kind.
When you have something important to say to your kids, say it in a very quiet voice so that they listen. Kids are really immune to yelling and shouting, but whispering never fails to get attention. You can be guaranteed that they will turn to you and ask you "what did you just say?" and bam! You've got their attention without a rant, rave or raised voice. 
If someone is escalating and you need them to calm down so that you can communicate with them, simply ask them questions about numbers or personal information. People need to access certain parts of the brain for fact recall, and it is almost impossible to do so when they are angry. If you ask the right questions, they will be forced to let their guard down to provide the answers and within moments, they will be deescalated.
Shy people are always super reluctant to speak, and when they do, they usually want to keep it short and sweet. To keep a shy person talking, nod your head when they speak whilst you are looking at them.  This will make them feel validated and push them to provide more information or share more. 
And last, but not least, say hello to everyone you know whenever you see them. At work, in the supermarket, at the doctors office, if you bump into someone you know, don't ever pretend that you don't know who they are. When you pass people at work, acknowledge them and try to say their name, and always do it with a smile. This is super simple, but effective. People will always remember if you snubbed them or didn't acknowledge them when you saw them, and not just for that day either. Research has shown that people remember this kind of snubbing for years, so make an effort to raise a hand to wave and flash a smile when you see a familiar face. 
And there you have it, a few sure fire ways to get along better with others. Sure, if you try them you may not have people fawning all over you at the next workplace gathering, but at least you won't have to worry about being at odds with others or being seen as the social pariah or wicked witch of the office anymore. And when all else fails, then just do what I do and head to the grimoire and cast a likability spell over those mother fuckers! 

Spicywatch.com celebrated its ninth birthday last night. Nine years - where did that time go? And how spicywatch.com has grown over the years from a humble dozen or so movie reviews when I first launched in May 2014 to the massive 987 reviews that it now has under its belt. In the 9 years that Spicywatch.com has been on the internet I have had over 150,000 hits and on average, good old Spicywatch manages to rustle  up around 3000 readers a month. 
So naturally, I had to celebrate the wonderful and joyful occasion of Spicywatch's 9th birthday and invite some movie loving family and friends around to Enfield to share in some movie chatter and celebration. 
This year I put the focus on International and Foreign Language Films, and I asked my guests to share a favourite clip from that category.  It could be something about the dialogue, a certain scene, the costuming, the lighting, the atmosphere, the overall composition or just something that they found memorable to them. Any genre was up for discussion, it just had to be an international choice. I even included an appropriately dubbed clip with my invitations this time, check it out for yourself. 
​www.captiongenerator.com/v/2287882/spicywatch-is-nine!

As it has been at every Spicywatch birthday occasion, we traversed all of the genres together; laughing, crying and remembering the international movie moments that have stuck with us throughout the years. 
Here is a sampling of some of the movies that made it to the viewing arena this year:

• RRR
• Dead Snow
• Roma
• The Great Beauty
• Journey to the West
• The Little Prince
• Kung Fu Hustle
• The Mermaid
• Let the Right One In 
• REC
• Another Round
• The City of Lost Children
• Amelie
• Babette's Feast 
• Hunting and Gathering
• Parasite
• Pom Poko
• Life is Beautiful
• Nosferatu
• Bahu Bali
• The Worst Person in the World
• Spirited Away
• A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night 

Many thanks to the special people who gave up their Saturday evening and made the very cold journey out to Enfield to share the celebration of Spicywatch.com with me, your presence is always a wonderful and treasured gift. And please make sure that you keep on viewing because I am rounding the 1,000 review mark and we will definitely need to celebrate that when it happens! 

BABETTE'S FEAST
Release Date: 1987
Rating: G 
Running Time: 103 mins 
A Danish drama film directed by Gabriel Axel and the first Danish film to win an Oscar for Best  Foreign Language Film. Steeped in charm and delivered with a melancholic undertone,  Babette's Feast is a timeless Scandinavian film that explores relationships, passions and devotion.
In the late 19th century, two pious sisters in a Danish village have their lives changed forever when they take in a French refugee called Babette. Babette, who works for the sisters as a servant, comes into a large sum of money and wants to repay the sisters for their generosity by cooking a feast  for them and their friends. But this is no ordinary feast, and the strictly religious community is about to experience something new and transformative. 
This film nourishes the senses completely, it is delightful and profound and utterly unforgettable. Stephanie Audran is mesmerising as Babette and the entire experience of this film is genuinely moving and lovely. Babette's Feast is a film that should not be missed. 
FINAL SAY: An artist is never poor. 
4 Chilli Peppers ​

I am finding that there is a very confusing amount of information available online about wellness, health and diet, most of it coming from people that have absolutely no credentials or concrete evidence to support their claims. I mean I literally cannot open up YouTube without being bombarded by a massive influx of clips that claim to have the 'one true method' for supreme health, wellness, diet and fitness. Thank god I am not on social media, I can only imagine how overwhelming the material is on those platforms. 
Anyway, I have watched some of these 'miracle' videos, mainly out of sheer curiosity and so far this is what I have taken away from what I have been told (and this shit is real, people are really peddling this stuff):

• ​You should never eat carbohydrates - they will make you fat.
• You should work out twice a day for 45minutes everyday if you expect to get fit.
• You need around 12 hours of sleep a night to be properly rested.
• If you have pubic hair you are disgusting!
• Clean eating is the only way to get lean and healthy. 
• If you are serious about weight loss you need to fast.
• Exercise is better for weight loss than diet.
• You should never eat or drink sugar in any form - it's fattening and gross for your insides. 
• Drinking apple cider vinegar everyday will shed weight off you overnight while you sleep.
• You need to eat more potatoes - they are good for filling you up without too many calories.
• You should never eat potatoes  -  they have tonnes of calories and will make you fat.
• Doing a body wrap is the quickest way to lose weight.
• People who gain weight back after a diet have poor self control.
• You need to drink 3 litres of water a day to be properly hydrated.
• Tans are healthy, we all need a little vitamin D.
• Soy gives you breast cancer.
• The fewer calories you eat the better and days of fasting are excellent for your body.
• Avoid all fats and oils, they make you fat.
• Just detox and you'll lose all the weight you need to.
• Eat six small meals a day to lose weight. 
• Have a massive breakfast, a medium lunch and a tiny dinner everyday. 
• If you aren't sweating, you aren't working out!
• Fruit is full of sugar and will make you fat, avoid it at all costs. 
• Juicing is the best way to get skinny and stay skinny.
• Egg yolks will make you fat.
• Fill up on superfoods and you'll never have to worry about your weight again.
• Gluten free = wellness.
• Pasta makes you so fat!

I shouldn't need to go on, this is clearly all outrageously silly and dreadful advice. The bottom line of health and wellbeing is far more simple and a lot less contrived than all that bullshit. And here are 8 simple tips that do seem to make sense and work, and that I do stand behind. 
1. Eat a wide variety of foods that are as close to their natural state as possible and avoid refined or genetically modified foods.
2. Don't label foods as good or bad, just eat refined foods and sugars in very small amounts and always stop eating when you are satiated. 
3. Counting calories is pointless, not all calories are equal. Just try to opt for healthy choices 80% of the time.
4. Drink water (6 -8 glasses a day) not juice or soda. 
5. Take moderate to mild exercise daily and make sure that you move your body whenever you can. 
6. Get around 6-8 hours of quality sleep a night.
7. Stay within the recommended 10 alcoholic drinks per week if you must drink. 
8. Work on your mindset by meditating, journaling, practising mindfulness and engaging in positive relationships. 

And that's it - eight tips for staying well and being healthy. But what do I even know right? I am no expert and I have zero credentials apart from around 50 years on the clock. All that I know for sure is that I do not have any major health issues, I sleep well, love well, live well and feel amazing most of the time. I rarely get ill and when I do, I bounce back quickly. I have fabulous relationships with my family and friends, I make the best of everyday and I plan to keep on doing that until I am well into my nineties. That's really all that I have to go on.
Health and wellness looks different for everyone, for one person it could be six pack abs and a ripped body, for another it could be walking to the shop for the paper everyday. I am not going to judge anyone's ideas or ideals around this, to each their own. I also fully understand that what works for one person may not work for another and there really is no one magic formula that will work for everyone. So really the only advice that I can be 100% sure of, around any of what I have read, learned or experienced about health and wellbeing, is that that you have to be willing to question anyone that isn't a professional and you should never put your own health at risk for any fad diet or vague recommendation. Also, I do believe that eating well is a form of respect, and that you do deserve that respect for yourself and also your body.
The absolute bottom line, I believe is, to find what works for you and makes you feel good about you and gives you the best ride for your money and time; and then smash it every day and you'll be on the right track for sure!

SUPER SIZE ME 
Release Date: 2004
Rating: M
Running Time: 100 mins
Here's a way to get yourself sworn off McDonald's for the rest of your life. This controversial documentary records a month of solid junk food eating for Morgan Spurlock as he personally puts his health on the line to demonstrate the pitfalls of eating from fast food outlets.
Clearly this is an extreme way of getting across an anti fast food message, but it is riveting watching nonetheless. There is nothing truly scientific going on here, we all know that if you eat nothing but McDonald's for a month you're going to feel like crap. But Morgan's month is closely monitored by a dietitian, a practitioner, a gastroenterologist and a cardiologist, which makes the rapid demise of his health all the more prevalent and alarming. 
This documentary will leave you feeling sick to your stomach and trust me when I say that you won't be going to the drive-through window for a while after seeing it. 
FINAL SAY: No, I don't want fries with that!
3 Chilli Peppers
Note: Super Size Me 2: Holy Chicken! (2017) sees Morgan Spurlock opening his own fast food chicken restaurant in an attempt to explore whether fast food is actually as healthy as it now claims to be. What he discovers is not only an exploitation of the consumers belief in what they are eating, but also an exploitation of chickens and the farmers that raise them for the fast food industry. I actually enjoyed this instalment more than the first Super Size Me and found it overall a lot more alarming as well. It's a solid 3.5 Chilli Peppers documentary. ​

Authenticity is talked about a lot these days. Everyone wants to be seen as more authentic and valued for their authenticity, but no-one really talks about what it actually means to be authentic. I am going to take a deep dive into what it actually means to be authentic and how to tell if someone is actually being authentic or just being a big phoney baloney! 
First and foremost, authentic people do not try hard to be likable. Now that doesn't mean that they are aloof assholes either, but they aren't that worried about ruffling a few feathers when it comes to standing up for what is right, just or fair. They embrace making right choices and they don't crave attention or have ulterior motives when they do this, they have a 'can do' and 'will do' attitude that attracts others to them and makes them highly reliable. 
Authentic people are also good a reserving judgement on others and themselves. They accept their own flaws and faults, and those of the people around them. They will try hard to see the world through other peoples eyes and are open-minded individuals who can meet people where they are at. They are often excellent listeners and can usually see the positive and negative aspects in people and situations.
An authentic person is generally unapologetic about expressing their thoughts. Followers worry that they may lose face of favour if they speak up about what they really think, a genuine person will express their thoughts and opinions without worrying if they wont be celebrated for it. They are not trying to garner attention or brownie points and they would never be cruel, angry or derogatory in the way that they express themselves, so they have no need to worry about how they will be interpreted.  An authentic person would never express their thoughts to attack, manipulate or offend someone, they have good character and a strong sense of integrity. 
One of the other things that you will see in people of high integrity is the ability to self reflect. You have to look inside to be a genuine and authentic. Authentic people will have fewer self doubts and experience less anxiety because they are regularly looking inside and re-evaluating the landscape of their lives.  The own their choices and decisions and can stand behind their ideas and thoughts. An authentic person will not go off half cocked or shoot from the hip, they think before they act and consider the outcomes before they approach. 
Authentic people are generous in spirit. They give to others in many ways. Through resources, time and information, they willingly share in and of themselves as much as they can and enjoy doing so. They love to entertain and spoil the people they love, and they will always share whatever they have access to with others around them. They are never secretive or mean and will not need to take credit for things that they may have been involved in launching. They like to see other succeed as much as themselves and will always bolster the people around them as much as they can. 
And I know that I have covered the topic of transparency before, but authentic people are transparent, honest and empathetic. You do not need to worry about an authentic person trying to trick you, deceive you or discredit you, this not something that an authentic person would ever embark upon. Authentic people are also not arrogant or self-satisfied and they can handle criticism and confrontation with decorum and calm. They understand that things are not always about them and can step back without having to belittle or berate someone behind their back. They welcome open conversation and honest exchanges. 
It is pretty easy to spot a person who isn't really authentic. Obviously they will lack many of the qualities listed above, but they will also have a deep need to be accepted and/or revered in their lives. This will make them insecure, quick to anger and judge others and generally quite competitive. They will be problem finders, energy drainers, constant complainers and negative Nancy's. You will not feel safe with a person who is not authentic and you will definitely struggle to get to know them on a deeper level because they may often be haughty, aggressive, secretive, sallow or dismissive. 
In short, for authentic people, the integrity, reliability and transparency of their character is always going to be more important than any monetary or social status gain. They are never in it for the glory. They are focused on their goals and willingly help others to reach theirs whenever they can. They listen when others speak instead of constantly offering their judgements and opinions. They can express genuine feelings and thoughts without hurting others, they are who they are and would not have it be any other way. They are just great people to have in your life and I hope that you have some rocking authentic people in your world to help you to shine brighter every day and grow more authentic in yourself every day. 

Yesterday was Easter Monday, the easter break has officially come to an end for yet another year; well for most people anyway! I am lucky enough to be stretching my legs out, kicking back on the couch and curling up with a good book as the days grow colder and darker by the hour because it is the Autumn school holiday break. We said goodbye to daylight savings time just over a week ago but it sure does feel like the that hour of daylight has turned into three hours of darkness ever since. I don't think that the cold snap of weather has aided that very much either, because the constant drizzle and grey skies have been pretty much relentless since the school holidays started four days ago. 
But you know me, always the optimist. This hazy Autumn weather has provided me with ample time to indulge my movie loving loins, read books, journal, bake, visit family (already taken two road trips) and sip good whiskey and wine by the heater with my delightful furry friend (Salem) on my lap. Hardly challenging for me at all. Poor Craig had to return to work today, but Seth and I are definitely enjoying the fruits of freedom with Seth indulging in his love of gaming and guitar playing and me luxuriating in long meditations, yoga sessions and bubble baths. Making it work people, I'm making it work! 
Easter was actually busy with us running about from one part of the state to the other as we navigated two family Easter gatherings outside of our home. This is unusual for us, because we are are generally the entertainers of most big events out here in Enfield, but this year Zoe hosted a get together and my mum hosted one as well, so it was a bit different. I can't say that I minded not having to be the host for a change, it is nice to change things up and not have to clean up everything after the fact as well. Of course I made things to contribute to the efforts, but it was more of a sit and relax Easter this year, rather than a cook, set-up,  clean and clear up afterwards event, so no complaints from me.
Needless to say there were many treats, most of which I managed to navigate with a pretty good level of self control and decorum. I didn't scoff a whole bag of chocolate eggs or inhale any chocolate bunnies, and I actually only ate three hot cross buns for the entire season, and although I may not have lost a lot of weight this week, I didn't gain any extra back on, so I am calling that a win. It has been a bit more of a challenge to get my 10,000 steps in with the change in weather, but I haven't quit and I feel really good about that. 
Now that my kids are all grown up, there is really no need for any Easter bunny carry on or egg hunting fiascos these days. Nowadays my children get things like slippers, PJ's, books, alcohol and random other fun stuff for Easter, basically anything that I would want to get! And in between all of the celebrating and drinking, napping and indulging that the Easter season offered, we did manage to get to the cinema on Good Friday for a little cinema action to see Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves, and if you (like me)  enjoy fantasy/adventure movies, then I would I recommend that you catch this one on the big screen yourself too. 
Hope the Easter season was kind to you all my good readers, stay well and warm. 

DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS: HONOR AMONG THIEVES
Release Date: 2023
Rating: M
Running Time: 134 mins
Sometimes you just want to watch a movie and have a bit of fun with it, no over-thinking or analysis required, just a 'sit back and enjoy' kind of a time. Well Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves certainly offers viewers that experience. This action adventure film, that is based on the role-play game of the same name, is a definite crowd pleaser and a well-cast slice of fantasy fun. 
A charismatic thief and a band of misfit and magical characters embark on a quest to retrieve a lost relic; and soon find themselves running into many dangers and disasters along the way.
Of course there is a quest, and magic, and adventure; what else would you expect from a Dungeons and Dragons movie? What I didn't expect was for it to be so amusing, charming and enjoyable. The visual effects are terrific, the costumes and attention to character detail are impressive and the cast are remarkably good and extremely well cast. Chris Pine and Michelle Rodriguez are at their best here and they are handsomely supported by an adorable Sophia Lillis, a villainous Hugh Grant and almost unrecognisably evil Daisy Head. 
Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves is easily as good as Guardians of the Galaxy in my mind, with less Spaceballs antics and more LOTR fantasy sprinkled in. Just have fun with it. 
FINAL SAY: This isn't some bedtime story; this is the real world!
​3.5 Chilli Peppers ​

Why do we defy? What is happening inside of us when we feel the need to defy? Usually it is some kind of authority or something that we may feel oppressed by or overwhelmed by that may trigger a need in us to resist openly and boldly. The need to defy rather than accept is human, we all do it, but the degree that we feel compelled to do it, does differ from person to person. So why do some people feel like they need to defy more often or more strongly when others are just happy to comply? And what is actually going on when we find ourselves falling into defiance? 
The topic of defiance is as complex in its psychology, design and origin as the cosmos. Sometimes defiance happens because it is expressing a need, other times it is expressing a deficit or disgust and sometimes defiance can be as simple as your mood or your internal stress levels on any given day. Whatever the reason, we have all at some stage felt the urge to fight back, push back, refuse to accept or bristle against, and that my friends is defiance.
What I can tell you, is that people don't defy for nothing, so for whatever reason, the person in defiance feels very justified in their defiance, which makes it one of the most difficult states to alter and manage and it is why people will so stubbornly adhere to their defiance's. Just like our values and morals, our defiance levels are part of who we are, but there has been some interesting scientific investigation into the topic of defiance that suggests that some people may have less control over their defiance than others. 
At its most simple definition, defiance is basically control aversion. It is the urge that all humans have to rebel against control over one's decisions or ideals. It can be explained by investigating the connectivity between two regions of the brain (the parietal and frontal lobes) as well as behavioural measures of distrust or a lack of understanding. It has been scientifically proven that people with stronger synchronous activation of the two mentioned brain regions were more likely to demonstrate stronger defiant behaviours. They were also more likely to struggle with trust, real consequence constructions and overall decision making. 
When children go into defiance mode, they go hard; this is because they are generally lacking the language or emotional aptitude (due to their immaturity) to restrain or comprehend their feelings of defiance, so they often demonstrate their defiance physically, violently or in extreme measures. Defiance in children often looks like stubbornness, annoyance, refusal or obstinance. It can look pretty much the same in people that have a strong link between the partial and frontal lobes of their brains. These people are synonymous throughout history with rebellion, insurrection, mutiny, revolt, revolution and uprising. They are people who can get a crowd into a flurry when they get going!
And sometimes, we need people to perform these tasks, we need people to revolt, to speak out, to push back and to question the status quo. If there was never any defiance in the world we would have some very serious problems. Corruption, abuse, war and and manipulation would be rife and people with little conscience would rule the planet while everyone else would happily conform like a bunch of mindless lemmings. Not a very appealing prospect at all.
It is true, we do need defiance, it serves a purpose, we need it to protect and defend ourselves and others. However, it is worth noting that not everyone has their defiance levels in check and some people will defy that the sky is blue just to engage another persons limits. This is when defiance is not pro-active or necessary, it is destructive, foolish and thoughtless. It is not empowering, it is disempowering. It is not strong, it is challenging. It is not pushing back, it is pushing over.
Learning to understand where your own levels of defiance sit and where the line sits between proactive and destructive defiance is a moral obligation that we all owe to ourselves and everyone else that we share this incredible planet with. Sometimes defiance is needed and sometimes compliance is necessary, and knowing when to use each of them will make you a better person. And if like me, you think that you may have a strong connection between your parietal and frontal lobe that make you want to fight the powers that be and be a little more defiant than you probably need to be at times, don't despair. Put your penchant for defiance to good use and always stand up for the underdog, question anyone that is obviously a gas lighter, oppressor or fuckwit and try hard to use your powers of defiance to do good things in the world. You don't have to start a revolution to be making changes and you don't have to insight a rebellion to gain a following, and don't you forget that!

​SAINT MAUD
Release Date: 2021 
Rating: MA 
Running Time: 84 mins 
A British psychological thriller that could have easily sat on the gritty list due to its disturbing behaviours and shocking outcomes. Directed by Rose Glass in her feature directorial debut, Saint Maud has received rich critical acclaim for its direction, atmosphere, performances and score. 
A young and deeply pious hospice nurse becomes obsessed with her client, a terminally ill dancer. Desperate to save her client's soul before she dies, Maud goes to extreme and dangerous lengths. 
Saint Maud is a genuinely unsettling watch that constantly swings between religious fanaticism, social awkwardness and a nauseating sense of discomfort and unease. Morfydd Clark portrays Maud with such striking and disturbing effect that you find yourself swimming upon the waves of ecstasy and horror along side of her and the finale delivers a slap down ending that is pretty unforgettable. 
Not an easy watch but Saint Maud is definitely not one to miss either. 
FINAL SAY: Never waste your pain.
4 Chilli Peppers ​

So it is exactly one month since I blogged about re-committing to my wellness and starting my weight loss journey once again and I did say that I was going to be totally transparent about that journey and update my progress every month; so here I am, baring myself to the world again and being 100% transparent about how the journey is going. 
At this stage, I would say that I have experienced the highs and lows of any new journey. I have had good days and bad days. I have lost two kilos on the scales, which is not a lot but it is consistent progress that equates to half a kilo a week. I have not been strict or restrictive with myself because if I make the journey too hard I know that I will quit, slip or give up. If I get hungry I eat, I am not starving myself or being ridiculous. I am not trying to get thin, I am trying to get back to a healthy BMI because I want longevity and best health for life. 
You may have noticed that after I posted about my re-commitment to wellness, I posted about the Stages of Healing, about the process of change and the stages that we have to go through to make real life changes. I wrote about that because I have been going though those stages since I re-committed. I have had a pretty deep dive into why I feel the need to be a certain size and weight and why I cannot accept myself as I am. I mean, it's not like a few extra kilos has made me sick or incapable, on the contrary, I am healthy as a horse, rarely ever getting ill and I have an abundance of energy and a great mindset. I have also been investigating what has led me to fail time and time again to keep the weight off that I have lost so many times before, am I on a cycle of self sabotage and if so, why? 
And I have come to understand that it is not my fault that staying lean is hard for me, I honestly don't think that I meant to be lean. This is why I am not looking for lean, or skinny or thin, because I also know without a shadow of doubt that being lighter or thinner will not make me better, happier or more complete. In the end all that it will do is drop me into the healthy BMI range, which is literally only around a stone of weight difference, so why all the fuss? Do people like me less for being heavier? Does my husband love me less? Do I have less opportunities? No, no and no to all of these. 
However, I did like feeling lighter and knowing that I was in my healthy weight range. I did like that my clothes felt better on me and things on my body looked tighter when I looked in the mirror.  I did enjoy being able to wear more flattering outfits. However, in saying all of this, I know that it sounds and seems so stupid and shallow. I never care about other people's body shapes and genuinely believe that all bodies are good bodies. I know full well that no-one is just the size on their dress label or the number on their scales, so why does it bother me so much about myself? Why am I so obsessed with my own physical inadequacies at the moment? 
You see what I mean? I am deep in the Stages of Healing with all of this. I know that for longevity, I must stay within a heathy BMI range, that is a fact. On the other hand, I also know that a healthy BMI range doesn't necessarily constitute a 'be all end all' when it comes to the 'wellness' scale. It is literally just a number on a scale and doesn't really tell a person anything more about their wellness than their weight; it doesn't consider mental wellness, relationship happiness or general lust for life does it? And I have those things in buckets, and yet here I am writing about eight kilos of weight like it is going to change me profoundly. Which I know it won't because I got down there less than 3 years ago and it didn't make me better than I am now. 
However, I have worked my arse off on improving myself. I have put in countless hours to get my mental, emotional, relationship, spiritual and intellectual health in good order. I have done the Stages of Healing on myself over and over and over. I have shed my skin, bared my soul and completely re-invented my life from the steaming shit pile that it once was and I have worked so hard to get to where I am now. And I honestly feel like getting back into my healthy weight range will be the last rung on a ladder of self improvement that I have been climbing for almost a decade now. Every other time that I have lost the weight and then it put it back on again was because I lacked some other important aspect of the self, some vital piece of the puzzle that needed to be put into place first. Well not this time, this time I am ready. 
As I said previously, this time I am not looking for quick fixes or diets or fad fixers. I am looking for a lifestyle change that will mean that I don't need to keep trying to get to my healthy BMI, I will get there and I will stay there this time.  Slowly and surely and trusting the process along the way, I will get there. I have officially moved out of denial and shock and I now have recognition, I recognise what needs to be done and I know that I have the fortitude to do it. So yeah, that's where I am on the journey. I am in recognition mode, soon to be acceptance I believe. I'm on the road again, I'm working to improve myself again, I'm putting one foot in front of the other and I will get there. 
I'm smoothing out my triangle of sadness....don't know what that means? Well, check out the movie and see for yourself. 

Spent the Labour Day public holiday swanning about the house all day watching the 95th Academy Awards Ceremony. It was a beautiful sunny day, but there was no outside frolicking for me in the morning. Instead, like the movie obsessed beast that I am, I sat through the entire 4.5 hour Oscars ceremony, sacrificing what may be one of the sunniest mornings of Autumn so far. Please don't judge me too harshly though because I did get out for a long walk in the afternoon!
Host Jimmy Kimmel delivered well, speckling the ceremony with humour and interest, and he couldn't resist the opportunity to take a poke at Will Smith for his ridiculous and violent outburst at last years Oscars event. This year was far more subdued and civilised and no-one walked away with a slapped face or offended feelings. It was definitely a huge sweep for Everything, Everywhere All at Once with 7 wins and All Quite On the Western Front with  5 wins; both of which were my top two movies choices for 2022, so I wasn't surprised. I did think that The Banshees of Inisherin would've got a few nods, because I adored it so, but overall, there was no doubt that the winners were deserving. 
Some highlights for me were Jamie Lee Curtis' acceptance speech for best supporting actress in Everything, Everywhere All at Once. She has been making films for 40 years and it was great to see her get some serious recognition. I also loved seeing composer MM Keeravani sing his acceptance speech for winning Best Original Song for RRR's 'Naatu Naatu' and I was genuinely touched by John Travolta's emotional presentation of the Memoriam, where he had to push back his remorse about the loss of his good friend Olivia Newton John last year. 

And just like that, it's all over and done for another 12 months, so now I'll need to keep my eye for the next big thing on the horizon. Back to the cinema again for me!
And just in case you missed it all...you know I got you covered! Here are the nominees with the winners for each category highlighted and underlined. 

Best Picture
“All Quiet on the Western Front,” Malte Grunert, Producer
“Avatar: The Way of Water,” James Cameron and Jon Landau, Producers
“The Banshees of Inisherin,” Graham Broadbent, Pete Czernin and Martin McDonagh, Producers
“Elvis,” Baz Luhrmann, Catherine Martin, Gail Berman, Patrick McCormick and Schuyler Weiss, Producers
“Everything Everywhere All at Once,” Daniel Kwan, Daniel Scheinert and Jonathan Wang, Producers
“The Fabelmans,” Kristie Macosko Krieger, Steven Spielberg and Tony Kushner, Producers
“Tár,” Todd Field, Alexandra Milchan and Scott Lambert, Producers
“Top Gun: Maverick,” Tom Cruise, Christopher McQuarrie, David Ellison and Jerry Bruckheimer, Producers
“Triangle of Sadness,” Erik Hemmendorff and Philippe Bober, Producers
“Women Talking,” Dede Gardner, Jeremy Kleiner and Frances McDormand, Producers

Best Director
Martin McDonagh (“The Banshees of Inisherin”) 
Daniel Kwan, Daniel Scheinert (“Everything Everywhere All at Once”) 
Steven Spielberg (“The Fabelmans”) 
Todd Field (“Tár”) 
Ruben Östlund (“Triangle of Sadness”)

Best Lead Actor
Austin Butler (“Elvis”) 
Colin Farrell (“The Banshees of Inisherin”) 
Brendan Fraser (“The Whale”) 
Paul Mescal (“Aftersun”) 
Bill Nighy (“Living”) 

Best Lead Actress
Cate Blanchett (“Tár”) 
Ana de Armas (“Blonde”) 
Andrea Riseborough (“To Leslie”)
Michelle Williams (“The Fabelmans”) 
Michelle Yeoh (“Everything Everywhere All at Once”)

Best Supporting Actor
Brendan Gleeson (“The Banshees of Inisherin”) 
Brian Tyree Henry (“Causeway”) 
Judd Hirsch (“The Fabelmans”)
Barry Keoghan (“The Banshees of Inisherin”) 
Ke Huy Quan (“Everything Everywhere All at Once”) 

Best Supporting Actress
Angela Bassett (“Black Panther: Wakanda Forever”) 
Hong Chau (“The Whale”) 
Kerry Condon (“The Banshees of Inisherin”) 
Jamie Lee Curtis (“Everything Everywhere All at Once”) 
Stephanie Hsu (“Everything Everywhere All at Once”)

Best Adapted Screenplay
“All Quiet on the Western Front,” Screenplay by Edward Berger, Lesley Paterson & Ian Stokell
“Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery,” Written by Rian Johnson
“Living,” Written by Kazuo Ishiguro
“Top Gun: Maverick,” Screenplay by Ehren Kruger and Eric Warren Singer and Christopher McQuarrie; Story by Peter Craig and Justin Marks
“Women Talking,” Screenplay by Sarah Polley

Best Original Screenplay
“The Banshees of Inisherin,” Written by Martin McDonagh
“Everything Everywhere All at Once,” Written by Daniel Kwan & Daniel Scheinert
“The Fabelmans,” Written by Steven Spielberg & Tony Kushner
“Tár,” Written by Todd Field
“Triangle of Sadness,” Written by Ruben Östlund

Best Cinematography
“All Quiet on the Western Front”, James Friend
“Bardo, False Chronicle of a Handful of Truths,” Darius Khondji
“Elvis,” Mandy Walker
“Empire of Light,” Roger Deakins
“Tár,” Florian Hoffmeister

Best Documentary Feature Film 
“All That Breathes,” Shaunak Sen, Aman Mann and Teddy Leifer
“All the Beauty and the Bloodshed,” Laura Poitras, Howard Gertler, John Lyons, Nan Goldin and Yoni Golijov
“Fire of Love,” Sara Dosa, Shane Boris and Ina Fichman
“A House Made of Splinters,” Simon Lereng Wilmont and Monica Hellström
“Navalny,” Daniel Roher, Odessa Rae, Diane Becker, Melanie Miller and Shane Boris

Best Documentary Short Film 
“The Elephant Whisperers,” Kartiki Gonsalves and Guneet Monga
“Haulout,” Evgenia Arbugaeva and Maxim Arbugaev
“How Do You Measure a Year?” Jay Rosenblatt
“The Martha Mitchell Effect,” Anne Alvergue and Beth Levison
“Stranger at the Gate,” Joshua Seftel and Conall Jones

Best Film Editing
“The Banshees of Inisherin,” Mikkel E.G. Nielsen
“Elvis,” Matt Villa and Jonathan Redmond
“Everything Everywhere All at Once,” Paul Rogers
“Tár,” Monika Willi
“Top Gun: Maverick,” Eddie Hamilton

Best International Feature Film 
“All Quiet on the Western Front” (Germany) 
“Argentina, 1985” (Argentina) 
“Close” (Belgium)
“EO” (Poland) 
“The Quiet Girl” (Ireland) 

Best Original Song 
“Applause” from “Tell It Like a Woman,” Music and Lyric by Diane Warren
“Hold My Hand” from “Top Gun: Maverick,” Music and Lyric by Lady Gaga and BloodPop
“Lift Me Up” from “Black Panther: Wakanda Forever,” Music by Tems, Rihanna, Ryan Coogler and Ludwig Goransson; Lyric by Tems and Ryan Coogler
“Naatu Naatu” from “RRR,” Music by M.M. Keeravaani; Lyric by Chandrabose  
“This Is a Life” from “Everything Everywhere All at Once,” Music by Ryan Lott, David Byrne and Mitski; Lyric by Ryan Lott and David Byrne 

Best Production Design 
“All Quiet on the Western Front,” Production Design: Christian M. Goldbeck; Set Decoration: Ernestine Hipper
“Avatar: The Way of Water,” Production Design: Dylan Cole and Ben Procter; Set Decoration: Vanessa Cole
“Babylon,” Production Design: Florencia Martin; Set Decoration: Anthony Carlino
“Elvis,” Production Design: Catherine Martin and Karen Murphy; Set Decoration: Bev Dunn
“The Fabelmans,” Production Design: Rick Carter; Set Decoration: Karen O’Hara

Best Visual Effects
“All Quiet on the Western Front,” Frank Petzold, Viktor Müller, Markus Frank and Kamil Jafar
“Avatar: The Way of Water,” Joe Letteri, Richard Baneham, Eric Saindon and Daniel Barrett
“The Batman,” Dan Lemmon, Russell Earl, Anders Langlands and Dominic Tuohy
“Black Panther: Wakanda Forever,” Geoffrey Baumann, Craig Hammack, R. Christopher White and Dan Sudick
“Top Gun: Maverick,” Ryan Tudhope, Seth Hill, Bryan Litson and Scott R. Fisher

Best Animated Feature Film 
“Guillermo del Toro’s Pinocchio,” Guillermo del Toro, Mark Gustafson, Gary Ungar and Alex Bulkley 
“Marcel the Shell With Shoes On,” Dean Fleischer Camp, Elisabeth Holm, Andrew Goldman, Caroline Kaplan and Paul Mezey
“Puss in Boots: The Last Wish,” Joel Crawford and Mark Swift
“The Sea Beast,” Chris Williams and Jed Schlanger
“Turning Red,” Domee Shi and Lindsey Collins

Best Animated Short Film
“The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse,” Charlie Mackesy and Matthew Freud
“The Flying Sailor,” Amanda Forbis and Wendy Tilby
“Ice Merchants,” João Gonzalez and Bruno Caetano
“My Year of Dicks,” Sara Gunnarsdóttir and Pamela Ribon
“An Ostrich Told Me the World Is Fake and I Think I Believe It,” Lachlan Pendragon

​Best Costume Design 
“Babylon,” Mary Zophres
“Black Panther: Wakanda Forever,” Ruth Carter
“Elvis,” Catherine Martin
“Everything Everywhere All at Once,” Shirley Kurata
“Mrs. Harris Goes to Paris,” Jenny Beavan

Best Live Action Short
“An Irish Goodbye,” Tom Berkeley and Ross White
“Ivalu,” Anders Walter and Rebecca Pruzan
“Le Pupille,” Alice Rohrwacher and Alfonso Cuarón
“Night Ride,” Eirik Tveiten and Gaute Lid Larssen
“The Red Suitcase,” Cyrus Neshvad

Best Makeup and Hairstyling 
“All Quiet on the Western Front,” Heike Merker and Linda Eisenhamerová
“The Batman,” Naomi Donne, Mike Marino and Mike Fontaine
“Black Panther: Wakanda Forever,” Camille Friend and Joel Harlow
“Elvis,” Mark Coulier, Jason Baird and Aldo Signoretti
“The Whale,” Adrien Morot, Judy Chin and Anne Marie Bradley

Best Original Score 
“All Quiet on the Western Front,” Volker Bertelmann
“Babylon,” Justin Hurwitz
“The Banshees of Inisherin,” Carter Burwell
“Everything Everywhere All at Once,” Son Lux
“The Fabelmans,” John Williams

​Best Sound
“All Quiet on the Western Front,” Viktor Prášil, Frank Kruse, Markus Stemler, Lars Ginzel and Stefan Korte
“Avatar: The Way of Water,” Julian Howarth, Gwendolyn Yates Whittle, Dick Bernstein, Christopher Boyes, Gary Summers and Michael Hedges
“The Batman,” Stuart Wilson, William Files, Douglas Murray and Andy Nelson
“Elvis,” David Lee, Wayne Pashley, Andy Nelson and Michael Keller
“Top Gun: Maverick,” Mark Weingarten, James H. Mather, Al Nelson, Chris Burdon and Mark Taylor

And here's a little hidden gem that was nominated for Best Animation at the Oscars this year, but couldn't stand up against Guillermo del Toro's juggernaut film: Pinocchio. Darling Marcel the Shell with Shoes On may not have garnered a lot of attention, but I do recommend a look should you get the chance. 

MARCEL THE SHELL WITH SHOES ON
Release Date: 2022 
Rating: PG
Running Time: 89 mins
A stop motion animation based on the shorts of the same name by Jenny Slate and Dean Fleischer Camp, who both take up the title roles in this movie length adaptation. Poignant, profound and utterly heart-warming, this movie has tonnes of spirit and will leave you with delightfully warm, fuzzy feeling afterwards. 
An adorable shell named Marcel becomes the main character in an online documentary series by recently separated Dean. Marcel discusses everything about life amongst the clutter at an Airbnb; explaining the highs and lows of life for himself, his beloved Nana Connie and their pet lint ball, providing both insightful contemplations  and inspiring resilience along the way. 
This darling little film is definitely not just for children, Marcel The Shell With Shoes On provides many laughs and life lessons along the way for adults as well. Marcel is beautifully voiced by Jenny Slate and her Nana by Isabella Rossellini and although he may be small, Marcel is probably going to leave a big impression on you. 
FINAL SAY: I couldn't tell you, but the space in my heart gets bigger and louder everyday. 
3.5 Chilli Peppers ​

When we set about changing ourselves or 'fixing' ourselves as many people like to term it these days, we set out to transform ourselves and ultimately (in the best setting) we set out to heal ourselves. You see, we would not need to change or fix ourselves if we had not experienced something that damaged us, deformed us or broke us in the first place. So in order to change or fix the things that we don't like or want in our lives any longer, we have to go through the processes of healing ourself, and that comes in stages. 
As with all significant change or new-ness we resist, even if it is good for us, we still resist because we are ding dongs that like to hold onto predictability and perceived safety. So it is hardly surprising to see that the first stage of healing is denial.
DENIAL: 
Denial is our greatest barrier to healing ourselves. It is generally the longest leg of the healing journey because we resist it so much. Recovery cannot begin until unveiling and acceptance happen first. 
SHOCK:
Once you stop denying your need to heal you may experience some unpleasant feelings like: numbness, anger, pain, rage, guilt, vulnerability or shame. Don't fight these feelings, they are part of the healing journey and need to be dealt with. 
​RECOGNITION:
Recognition and acceptance are the greatest liberators. Now that you are aware, the once stagnant waters can begin to flow again. You will start to clear out the old to make way for the new. Work through your feelings and reactions with an open heart.
ACCEPTANCE:
Healing is a journey that ebbs and flows like the ocean. One moment you're all over it and the next you're no where close to where you want to be. This up and down is very normal and you need to be gentle with yourself here; good days and bad days are part of healing. 
RELEASE:
Recognise that while you may not be where you want to be, you can release the idea that you have to anything but here and now. 
REFLECT:
Make space to witness your progress from a third person perspective. Take a step back and survey the story that you are now experiencing. Breathe deeply and reflect on how far you have already come. 
EMPTINESS:
Take time to mourn the old version of yourself that isn't serving you any longer. See how you are growing and changing and developing better ways to be. This is also a time when we may feel the need to release certain people that are associated with our old selves from our lives. This is because they no longer fit into your new lifestyle choices. This shedding can be difficult and leave us feeling spiritually or emotionally naked. 
INTEGRATION: 
Integrating new strategies that will stick is difficult. It takes time and repetition to replace old habits with new and better ones. This process can be challenging but it is also deeply rewarding and important work. Don't give up, keep going!
TRANSFORMATION:
You are now making constant changes that you feel are most appropriate for your journey. You are in control of your own destiny, you are not the person that you were and you have healed yourself. Congratulate yourself and celebrate your transformation. 

It is really important to remember that healing and change, in any guise, takes time and commitment. It is often slow and challenging and it can be trying and traumatic. If you cannot do it alone, seek professional assistance or personal guidance from a trusted friend or companion. The road to healing is fraught with danger and difficulty, be aware that every set back is part of a process and every attempt to heal yourself is a worthy undertaking. Be kind to yourself, be patient and be willing to fail, succeed and find a better you in the process. 

FLEE 
Release Date: 2021
Rating: M
Running Time: 90 mins
A Danish adult-animation documentary film directed by Jonas Poher Rasmussen that received unanimous acclaim from film festivals and critics alike for its excellent animation, story, thematic content, subject matter and LGBT representation. And there is certainly no denying that Flee is deeply and profoundly affecting from start to end. 
A man under the alias of Amin Nawabi recounts the trauma and terror of his hidden past which included fleeing from his home country of Afghanistan to Denmark. 
Through gripping, candid and distressing storytelling, we come to view a plight that is practically incomprehensible to most westerners. Flee is essentially a survival story about one man trying to make sense of his shattered past and traumatic experiences in order to embrace the man that he is today. 
I saw the English language dubbed version which has Riz Ahmed and Nikolai Coster- Waldau performing as the narrators, and I would definitely recommend this version to English speaking viewers. The film also contains archival film footage of actual  events in Afghanistan around the time that Amin fled, and this really adds to the overall impact of this powerful and unforgettable film. 
It's definitely not a pleasant story but it is certainly one that needs to be heard by everyone. 
FINAL SAY: We have no idea what's going to happen to us. 
4 Chilli Peppers ​