Anyway, I am virtually gluten free, like 98% of the time, and I intake very little dairy and I have generally adopted a pretty healthy eating regimen in order to assist myself. However, regardless of my efforts, at least once a year and completely out of nowhere, I get a random bout of inexplicable stomach and intestinal pain that is absolute agony. And I mean slap me down and steal my lunch agony, this shit is NOT fun.
The cramping is so intense, like labour pains in discomfort levels, and they are always accompanied by my body forcing its entire contents out of either end for around 5 to 6 six hours straight, with small 20 minute windows of reprieve (sorry a bit graphic I know, but I really want you to get the full picture of horror here). Then my stomach continues to relentlessly cramp for another 24 hours after which time my body then feels like it has been run over by a bus, bashed with a baseball bat and stuck with tiny pins. Just to add insult to injury this time, I also managed to chip my front tooth tripping in a rush to the toilet and smacking my mouth on the side of the bowl, so I also have to see the dentist now too! Brilliant, talk about a comedy of errors.
This happened to me two days ago and I am still recovering. I am as weak as a kitten and as useless as tits on a bull. I am a lump on the couch, a half toothed wonder, lying here like a sausage with it's guts squeezed out, moaning with a blanket over me. Sexy times I tell you.
It is also the third time that this has happened to me in less than three years, meaning that once a year I get this ass-raping of an illness that I can only assume is a by product of my IBS, and honestly it sucks big time. Maybe I shouldn't cheat with the FODMAP diet and then I would be alright, but honestly, sometimes a girl just has to live. However I cannot deny that this getting sick once year shit is wearing thin, maybe I do need to get 100% tough and eat like a saint. Yay, cucumber sticks here I come, well at least that will shift some of my fat off, if I can ever digest solid food again that is!
It was inevitable that life was going to sneak up on me and smack me upside the head at some point, I was just feeling way too zen and enjoying myself far too much, and I was only saying about a week ago that I may have mozzed myself by gloating about how good I was feeling. Oh well, 'cest la vie, back on the horse I say, onward and upward is the only place to go from here, I won't let this shit keep me down for too long.
Release Date: 2012
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 122mins
I really wasn't expecting to like this movie, I thought it was just going to be another fluffy Rom-Com load of crap, but it was actually really enjoyable and very funny.
Bipolar Pat Solatano (Bradley Cooper) is discharged from a mental institution by his mother, under the condition that he will stay with his parents until he is deemed "well" enough to leave by the authorities. Pat struggles to deal with life at home and the restraining order that his wife Nikki has placed upon him; he forms his own intense exercise regime and silver linings mantra to try and cope. However, when he is introduced to the somewhat unstable character Tiffany (Jennifer Lawrence), he soon finds himself distracted from his own troubles as he rapidly becomes involved in hers.
Cooper and Lawrence just shine together in this quirky and certainly non-conventional love story about lost people trying to find their way; their onscreen chemistry is believable and they bounce off each other perfectly. This is quite a pleasant and respectable romance movie, with some great laughs and a super strong support cast as well.
FINAL SAY: Excelsior!
4 Chili Peppers