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SPICYWATCH

Some Truths Are Hard To Swallow

22/7/2023

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Yes, we have all heard it before, the truth will set you free and liberate you and blah, blah, blah...but sometimes the truth can be a motherfucker and throat punch you to the ground, especially if you aren't expecting it. And even when well meaning people may deliver truths to you in a kind a gentle way, some truths are never easy to hear or experience. For me, there are a couple of really scathing truths that tend to sting like a bitch and unfortunately, never get easier to deal with no matter how wise or well travelled you may get to be in this life time. 
The first truth that blows is getting old, it's an unavoidable truth and we can't do anything about it, everyone on the planet is getting older by the day. And, to be honest I am actually really cool about getting old most of the time, but sometimes my ego takes a slap and I feel like the frumpiest, fattest and oldest person in the room on those days and I hate the truth about getting old. 
I get these feelings only when someone that is the same as age as me is around and another person points out (like I am not even in the room) that they look so much younger than me. Now it is also really poor manners in my mind to say shit like that anyway, but you would not believe how many times this has actually happened to me (concerningly more than twice now); and does it sting? Oh fuck yes it does! No one minds being old, but when people point out that someone looks a lot younger than you and they are your age, it is really not good for your ego. 
Generally, comments like this send me into a tail spin of confusion and self loathing. It usually goes like this: Am I looking ancient? Why don't I look younger? How much younger do they think that person is than me? I think they look my age, am I delusional? What am I doing wrong? I think I look okay, am I delusional about what I actually look like as well? Should I up my skin regimen? Do I need to get botoxed? What the fuck are people thinking when they look at me, that I look old?  Ahhhhh..... Basically it is gross and although I can accept the truth about getting older, the comments made about looking older than a peer are just too harsh a truth to swallow and I wish people wouldn't do it. 
However, that being said all power to the lucky people who do look younger than their age, that's awesome for them, just crappy for me because I clearly look every bit of my almost 50 years. And this brings me to another shitty truth, that women over 40 are invisible. I've whined about this one before so I am going to keep it brief, but once a woman gets to a certain vintage, they become about as appealing as a petrol station hot dog. Sure other women will listen to their wisdom, but men couldn't give a fuck about them and it doesn't even matter if they are fit or well put together, men just aren't that interested in women over 40, it's a proven fact. But being invisible in one thing, when you get to 50, you start to become irrelevant as well and men will literally walk into you on the street like you weren't even there! There are only two ways to gain back the attentions of men (should you want that) as you get older. The first is surgery, you need to get surgery so that you look 20 years younger or you can become a bag lady like the crazy cat lady on The Simpsons and gain attention by being the scary, weird, witch woman of the town that men will definitely notice so that they can avoid completely. Neither of these options appeal to me, so invisible and irrelevant it is then!
And the final truth that kills, and cannot be avoided is that in your life you are going to have to deal with break ups. Breaking up, whether from a relationship, friendship or kinship hurts like a motherfucker! The old adage that breaking up is hard to do is so very, painfully true. There is no way to avoid it, we all go through different break ups. Sometimes it is a death, sometimes it is divorce or separation and sometimes it is abandonment or estrangement, none of it is easy. You have to go through all of the stages of separation one way or another, and it is hard and it takes time and it feels like you're never going to get better when you are in it.
We've all been there and we have all seen the struggle in others, and it is hard and horrible. Breaking up is, for me, the hardest truth of them all. I think that is because I love very deeply and give a great deal of myself to all of my relationships, so breaking up in any form is really difficult for me and takes me a lot of time and also therapy to recover from.  I also really hate to watch others go through it almost as much as I hate to experience it myself, and because the process of actually letting go it is so unique for everyone, it is also challenging to predict how people will cope and how much to intervene or advise. Breaking up is hard to do and that is a shitty and horrible truth.
You know what, sometimes the truth does not set you free at all! Sometimes the truth fucking sucks, and that is one truth that I can get behind!
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THE DRY 
Release Date: 2020
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 117 mins

An Australian drama mystery based on the novel of the same name by Jane Harper and a sweet return to great Australian cinema for me. It's been a while since I have seen such an excellent depiction of the harsh, dry Aussie landscape and The Dry manages to captures it; and the attitudes of small rural communities in Victoria with a plausible authenticity. 
Federal Agent Aaron Falk (Eric Bana) returns to his home town under the request of his childhood friend's parents. They are seeking Falk's help in the investigation around their son's death and the strange and unsettling circumstances that surround it. Falk reluctantly tries to solve the mystery of the heinous crime but finds himself dragged back into another local drama that forced him to flee the town many years ago. 
Eric Bana is brilliant as Falk and it was so good to see him back on screen again after such a long hiatus. He is well supported by Genevieve O'Reilly, John Polson and Miranda Tapsell but it cannot be denied that The Dry  is definitely held up by Bana's performance. 
Amidst the complexities of the crimes being unveiled throughout the film are some really solid messages about small town loyalties and the need for secrecy and acceptance in tight knit rural communities. The struggles of the farmers and labourers are also touched upon and the unforgiving and dangerous Aussie landscape provides a perfectly formidable backdrop to all of the drama.
FINAL SAY: The biggest secrets can never stay hidden. 
3 Chilli Peppers 
​

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Body Positive

3/7/2023

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I think that the amount of energy that I have been pouring into a stone of weight has made me forget how much I actually really do love my body. In truth, I really don't hate my body or the shape of it at all. And I really want to re-iterate that I never went on a weight loss journey because I don't like who I am or how my body looks, I just feel like being in my healthy weight range is going to offer me more longevity and better health overall. There is nothing wrong with me or anyone who carries some extra weight and I have absolutely zero issue with other people's weight or their body choices. 
I don't care if you're skinny as a toothpick or round as a grapefruit, it matters not to me either way and anywhere in between is also fine by me as well for that matter. I am not doing this for anyone but myself and my ability to stay well and be healthy. And to be clear, my body operates amazingly well as it is now and there is nothing 'wrong' with my body. I have no health issues, I don't take any medications, I eat a balanced and nutrient rich diet, I get daily exercise, drink lots of water and have reasonably good hair and skin. Nobody has judged me, said anything to me or made me feel like I need to change who I am or how I look. 
I don't have a poor opinion of myself and all I am looking for is a number on a BMI scale that says that I am not in the overweight category. My reason for this is because it has been suggested by health care professionals that in general, people who remain within their healthy BMI range live longer lives and stay healthier as they get older. That is it, that is my one and only reason for wanting to shed around a stone of extra weight. It isn't radical or extreme and it isn't because I want to look a certain way. In fact, I actually quite like how my body looks and enjoy all of the things that it can do and how strong I feel. 
However, when I was a stone lighter, I did like the way that my clothes fit, I did like having more space to move in my jeans and I did like being able to do more yoga poses and balances with better ease of movement. But that is honestly it, there wasn't really a huge change in my lifestyle. I was still doing all of the same things, and I was still very much the same person with the same issues and the same thoughts and feelings and insecurities. In other words, I know that a stone of weight is not going to change who I am or magically 'fix' me, that would be a stupid and naïve way to think and I don't expect that to happen. I am not doing this for any other reason than my BMI. In fact if that was still in the healthy weight range, I wouldn't even be undertaking an attempt to lose weight. 
Anyway, with that being said, I have been hyper focused on not being hideous or cruel to my body as I go through the process of shedding some weight and have added some really lovely rituals to my everyday to take care of both my physical and emotional wellbeing along the way. These are not huge things or high impact changes, they are just lovely things that I have really enjoyed incorporating into my daily routine that have boosted my sense of wellness and self care and made me feel good about myself. They have also been quite wonderful to practise over the coldest and darkest weeks of the year as well.
1. Tea drinking - not just any old tea, but a proper brewed pot of delicious leaf tea that is not only great tasting and incredible smelling, but adds to my fluid intake greatly throughout the day. 
2. Sweating and Cooling -  the odd sauna and plunge pool does wonders for the circulation and is an amazing undertaking, especially during the colder months.  If like me, you cannot always afford to go to the local spa regularly, a really hot bath followed by a very cold shower works just as well. 
3. Nature Walking - Nothing raises spirits and mood quicker than a stroll in a lovely space. Most botanical garden, parks and nature reserves are pretty empty in winter and you can wander about with your headphones listening to a podcast or audio book for many uninterrupted hours. 
4. Dry Brushing and Gua sha - Increased blood flow, improved circulation and glowing healthy skin all happen when you dry brushing and gua sha. I cannot believe the improvement of my cellulite since doing this regularly, and the tightening of the skin on my face is noticeable. It doesn't take long and it really works, teach yourself how with simple YouTube tutorials. 
5. Moisturising - Get out the body butter and moisturise like your life depends on it. People don't moisturise enough in winter and it is a deceptively drying time of the year for skin. Do it now and you'll glow for Spring!
6. Affirmations -  Say something lovely to yourself everyday, preferably when you look in the mirror in the morning. It doesn't have to be over the top or ridiculous, it can be as simple as - 'you're doing great' or 'you are a good person who deserves good things' or my personal favourite 'you've got this!' 

Whatever your goal may be, whether its body orientated or something totally different, just remember to always be kind to yourself along the way; take extra care of your mindset and offer love to your inner-space, and then the journey can be just as enjoyable as the destination.
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INNERSPACE
Release Date: 1987
Rating: PG
Running Time: 120 mins 

I recall going to the movies when I was only eleven to see this film and loving everything about it. It will always be a childhood favourite of mine, but it still has tonnes of laughs and after a recent rewatch, I can assure you that it still manages to deliver a very zany and enjoyable science fiction ride. 
A test pilot who has been shrunken down to nanobot size in a secret lab experiment, ends up being accidentally injected into a nervous grocery clerk and must enlist his help to be released before he returns to full size. 
The cast is just terrific, with real life couple Dennis Quaid and Meg Ryan filling lead roles, and Martin Short in one if his funniest roles ever as the worry wart hypochondriac Jack Putter. 
Directed by Joe Dante and written by Jeffrey Boam and Chip Proser, 
Innerspace had some cutting edge effects and concepts back in it's time and although they may have dated a little, the physical comedy most certainly has not. Sporting a kick ass cast and a buzzing '80s soundtrack, this movie is a sci-fi/ comedy treat that the whole family can enjoy. 
FINAL SAY: Oh God! Somebody help me! I'm possessed!

3.5 Chilli Peppers ​

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