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SPICYWATCH

Infinite Possibility 

30/12/2014

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There is nothing like a Summer night; all seasons have their beauty, but a clear Summer night is certainly tough to beat. There's a reason so many songs are written about it. 
When the air is warm and the sky is a magnificent blanket of stars, when the sound of the wind whistling through the pines makes you feel that everything in the world is as it should be and the moon hangs like a mystical jewel in the deep blue darkness, that type of natural wonder is most certainly unbeatable. 
You don't need to talk to anyone on those nights; you can just sit and contemplate the complexities of the cosmos and escape to a quiet place inside of your mind. I have passed many hours like this and it is one of my most favourite things about Summer - the evenings. Anytime from dusk onwards, I just love it. 
Everything seems so full of infinite possibility in that warm calm, it is like a soul recharger courtesy of nature and there is truly nothing else like it. 
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THE HOBBIT (TRILOGY)
1. AN UNEXPECTED JOURNEY
2. THE DESOLATION OF SMAUG
3.THE BATTLE OF THE FIVE ARMIES
Release Date: 2012, 2013 and 2014
Running Time: 474 mins (total) 
Rating: M
A glorious return to Middle Earth as the 1937 novel The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien is brought to spectacular life by Peter Jackson and Guillermo Del Toro. The film takes place sixty years before The Lord of the Rings, and acts as the perfect prequel to the series, fleshing out characters in greater depth and setting the scene for darker times ahead. 
A homebody Hobbit is coerced by the wizard Gandalf into becoming an unlikely thief for a group of 13 Dwarves that are trying to reclaim their home Erebor from a dragon. Adventure ensues as the group encounter Elves, Trolls, a Necromancer, Goblins, Orcs and Smaug the dragon as they try to reclaim their treasure and their land. 
This is a much lighter tale than Lord of the Rings, but it still has the same level of detail and magic that we have come to expect from Middle-Earth and Peter Jackson. All of the cast from The Lord of the Rings have reprised their roles, giving this a fabulous level of consistency and merit, and Martin Freeman is the most darling Hobbit to grace the screen since Samwise Gamgee. 
This is a wonderful realisation of a classic story and even though the second instalment is stretching the story to the limits of almost snapping; I just can't get enough of all of the beauty and wonder of Middle Earth so it didn't bother me in the least. 
FINAL SAY: I'm going on an adventure! 
4.5 Chili Peppers

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And so this is Christmas...

26/12/2014

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There are certain things that you simply cannot avoid at Christmas. One of them is the food, no point trying to cut back and trim down your waistline when you're practically eating a weeks worth of food in one day. I managed to eat almost every type of creature on the planet this Christmas including pork, lamb, chicken and salmon; my apologies to the vego's of the world, but you just can't fight a perfectly baked salmon or a bit of crispy pork crackling.  
There are of course certain food stuffs that occur around Christmas that I can totally do without, one of those is Christmas pudding - never got it, never will - BLAH! Also, the humble pavlova, just done to death really and no amount of great fruit toppings is gonna help that sticky meringue mess as far I am concerned. And hold the mince pies please, nil interest there, but now that I am gluten free I have a way of politely refusing these offerings without appearing ungrateful. 
I do like the grog bit though, getting three parts sozzled over lunch is quite nice, and nobody ever judges you for finishing all the bubbles at Christmas. I think I may have peaked a little early this year though, as I felt my post champers headache kicking in just before dinner at the in-laws. Never mind, just opened up another bottle and added insult to injury - 'tis the season!
One other thing that I do find unavoidable on Christmas Day is the corny Christmas music. I mean when, aside of Christmas, do you listen to Boney M and Wham? Never, and there is a good reason for that. Suddenly, Mariah Carey's 'All I want for Christmas' and Buble's rendition of 'Have yourself a Merry Little Christmas' not only seem acceptable, they seem like great music choices! How? It must be the magic of Christmas I think, it has to be because for some reason I know every word to 'Last Christmas' and I know I never bought that album! 
But for all of it's weird tradition and crazy consumerism, Christmas really is fun. Just plain good fun and a chance to be with the one's you love and to celebrate another year coming to a close. And if Christmas means that you find yourself half pissed singing along to Jingle Bell Rock and stacking on a couple of extra pounds, then so be it, who would want it any other way? 
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GREMLINS  
Release Date: 1984
Rating: M
Running Time: 106 mins 
Director Joe Dante who brought us the great kids classic Small Soldiers, pushes the envelop between children's cinema and the supernatural with his tale about mischievous little creatures called Gremlins. 
Billy's father purchases a mysterious new pet 'Mogwai' for Billy's early Christmas gift. Gizmo, as Billy names him, must be carefully taken of. He cannot be exposed to bright light, he cannot get wet and he must never EVER be fed after midnight. Unfortunately, Billy inadvertently breaks all of the rules and unleashes a gang of Gremlin's that are determined to tear up the entire town on Christmas Eve. 
This is a fabulous pre-Christmas watch for older kids and teens because it is exciting and funny, and even though those '80's effects are getting a bit outdated, Gizmo is still utterly adorable. 
FINAL SAY: I want a Mogwai for Christmas! 
3.5 Chili Peppers

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All of the Trimmings

23/12/2014

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Running around like a cut snake trying to put all of the last minute details in place for Christmas. I know I sound annoyed, but in truth, being on holidays has allowed me to undertake this type of madness in a pretty joyful fashion. I am getting a tonne of satisfaction from the planning, I should've been an events planner because I just love getting people together for a good meal and a decent reason to celebrate. 
And I really like all of the details, I love a well dressed table and a finely trimmed Christmas tree; I am really getting to toy with my perfectionism and I have the time to indulge my OCD demons as well, what a delight! 
So with only days to go until Christmas I am filling my time with gift wrapping, menu planning, decorating, Christmas lights, Christmas movies and a rather generous libation of good whiskey! With the help of Mr Jameson, all things Christmas related have become truly cheerful and jolly, and as long as I don't die of alcohol poisoning this should actually be a bloody great Christmas indeed! 
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Wrapping It Up

20/12/2014

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The last few weeks are always crazy before Christmas. In the last 10 days I have been to a bevvy of Christmas related events including Christmas carols, break-up dinners, special event morning teas, BBQ's, concerts and the obligatory staff piss up evening where you get to witness normally reserved individuals going bonkers on the bubbles. Anyway, about 20 boxes of chocolates, 200 cigarettes and a case of champagne later, I got my feels on for the best and the worst moments of the wrap up season. 
The feel good moment of the season was easily my wonderfully clever daughter Zoe's achievements. She passed her VCE with Dux in three subject - English, Media and Philosophy. Yes, she did it! She has successfully passed and her ATAR has set her up for an offer at University. The end of a grueling and challenging year for her and I just couldn't have been prouder when I saw her receive her award this week, there is nothing like seeing your kids fly - it's even better than flying yourself! 
The lowest point was the final day of school when we fare-welled six staff, three of which were not just staff members but were also good friends to me and people that I had spent time with outside of work - so it was really hard. There is one friend in particular that I think I am missing already because she is just one in a million, and I know that the work environment is going to be drastically changed for the worst without her presence. So I wrote her a song to say goodbye, cried a little and got all of my feels out of me, it was easily the saddest day leading up to Christmas that's for sure. 
So now with only  5 days to go until the big day, and 40 days and nights of holidays to enjoy and a trip to Bali coming up rapidly I gleefully remind myself that there is still loads more joy to be had just around the corner. 
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200 CIGARETTES 
Release Date: 1999
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 101 mins
Despite the fact that Courtney Love is traipsing around in this, I still managed to find it amusing. From director Risa Bramon Garcia (associate producer of Natural Born Killers) comes a fresh and funny dark comedy about one evening of manic events leading up to New Years Day. 
Set in New York, we follow a collection of twentysomethings as they navigate the city in search of a decent New Years Eve party. This film has all the bases covered with a stellar ensemble cast playing every character imaginable, including a performance artist, two Long Island teens, a woman desperate to throw a successful party, two punks, a bartender, a Scottish painter that is a lousy lover, a clumsy belle, two trendy flirts, an amorous cabby and even Elvis Costello. 
This film was panned by the critics, but I thought it was a great nostalgic '90's watch. It's a huge mish-mash of happenings and there are a lot of silly things going on here, which makes this a great one to watch around the silly season. 
FINAL SAY: Where will you be when the clock strikes midnight? 
3 Chili Peppers

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Seasonal Nostalgia

14/12/2014

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This time of year often makes me rather nostalgic. Lets be honest, Christmas is always fun, but when you're a kid it's just brilliant! All of the anticipation and excitement is a million times greater when you're young. All of the corny shit like crackers filled with paper hats and shitty jokes and Christmas gatherings with your cousins are just the best. The days are hotter and much longer, you get to play outside until dark and school is out for the Summer holidays - things just don't get any sweeter. 
I clearly recall the last Summer of my pre-teen years, I was so excited about turning 13 in the coming Autumn and felt that I was much older and more mature than my years. We had just moved from Melbourne to Daylesford and I didn't have any friends yet because school hadn't started back, so I hadn't had a chance to meet anyone my own age yet. I spent that Summer doing some really cool things that didn't seem as awesome at the time; but looking back on it now, it may well have been the best Summer of my young life. 
I had gotten a Walkman for Christmas and a couple of tapes, which I flogged to death. Being new to the area I was very curious to discover the lay of the land and soon discovered some fantastic walking paths through the bush that led to Lake Jubilee. I can't even tell you how many times I walked to and around that lake with my Walkman blasting bad 80's tunes that Summer. I saw my first snake in the wild, had my first taste of Spa water, once saw a wombat digging a burrow and eventually got the guts up to swim out past my comfort zone to the lake pontoon that sat in the centre of Lake Jubilee, which was both exhilarating and terrifying all at once. And I did it all alone, but I don't recall ever feeling lonely. 
In my worn out red Chuck Taylors; I found at least a dozen four clovers whilst lying in the grass, discovered the best tree in our yard to climb and read in and learnt how to shoot a bow and arrow. I ate apples straight from the orchard, caught a thousand drop-tail skinks and made friends with a feral cat that frequented our yard. I also befriended an elderly couple that lived two doors down, they had a Rottweiler called Rocky and were obsessed with classic MGM musicals which I used to watch with them. They always welcomed me in, gave me lemonade or herbal tea with dutch spiced cookies and would chat to me for hours before we sat down to watch Singing in the Rain or something similar. It was also the Summer that I got to know my parents a lot better because they had both retired and all of my siblings had moved on, so we got a lot of quality one on one time that year and I look back on those moments fondly. 
It's funny the stuff that you remember as precious as you get older. It really was an amazing Summer, a Summer before boys and puberty and high school drama. A Summer that I never would've got to experience if we hadn't moved to Daylesford, if I hadn't been friendless and if I hadn't always had a sense of adventure. 
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BETTER OFF DEAD 
Release Date: 1985
Rating: M
Running Date: 97 mins 
This movie always makes me think of my early teens when I was obsessed with it and watched it at least 20 times. It's a coming of age tale by Savage Steve Holland, about a teenage boy that can't cope with his girlfriend dumping him and decides that he should end his life. 
Lane (John Cusack) has the oddest family, add that with his oddball best friend Charles (Curtis Armstrong) and top it off with an epic dumping from the love of his life and you've got a recipe for teen depression with a side of suicidal tendencies. However, Lane is so pathetic that he can't even pull off his own suicide properly and finds that he must face his troubles head on. 
I recall falling in love with John Cusack as a teen watching this movie; I also recall the fabulous 80's fashions and soundtrack that kept me watching it over and over again. It's not a work of art, but it is a wonderful teen-comedy and an iconic coming of age film for me. 
FINAL SAY: I want my two dollars!
3.5 Chili Peppers

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The Truth about Cats and Dogs

10/12/2014

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Sometimes when you find out the truth about people it can set you free. This week I found out the truth about some people in my life that have been a source of constant concern and confusion to me. I have pondered their motivations and their reasons for doing the things that they do for a very long time, and finally I plucked up the courage to lay my cards on the table and request honesty. 
This may not sound like a very big deal, asking for honesty - but in truth we rarely want to hear the truth from others, and we all ask for it even less. But this was something that I had to do for my own sanity and for a slice of relief. 
And the truth did come out...spilling forth like an avalanche running down a mountain. And suddenly there was clarity. 
It was all right there in front of me the entire time, but I had missed all of the signals, I had ignored all of the signs and then the clouds just parted and....what I felt was a relief so grand that I actually wept. Wept not because the truth hurt me deeply, but wept because the truth did actually set me free. 
This truth had the power to finally release me from my own inner turmoil and to forgive some very deep and dark hurts that I had been carrying for a very long time. It would seem that sometimes the people that we perceive to be lions are really just stray cats; and the wolves just lost puppies. 
I'm looking forward to seeing things differently now that I have a new perspective on the truth about cats and dogs. 
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DOGVILLE
Release Date: 2003
Rating: R 18+
Running Time: 138 mins
Lars Von Trier galvanizes his talent in this brilliant piece of film making set in 9 acts and entirely filmed on just one set. Dogville is unlike any movie that I have seen before and not just because the story is utterly compelling and the acting is incredibly superior, but because it is a unique exploration of the dark, the beautiful and the perverse all tossed into one tiny basket.
When beautiful Grace (Nicole Kidman) arrives in lonely Dogville on the run from the mob, a local named Tom (Paul Bettany) feels compelled to enlist the help of the town to assist with hiding Grace from her foes. But Dogville is a town set in its ways and things unfold in the most unexpected of ways. 
The cast are literally acting their hearts out here, they have to, the sets are drawn on the ground in white paint. This is the absolute best that I have seen Nicole Kidman and she rarely does anything poorly. Lauren Bacall, James Caan, Patricia Clarkson and Phillip Baker Hall all make their mark here, and the entire story is narrated perfectly by John Hurt. 
I was so impressed with this movie that I have debated on putting it into the Hall of Fame, it is utterly brilliant! 
FINAL SAY: Dogs can be taught a great many things, but not if we forgive them every time they obey their own nature.
4.5 Chili Peppers

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The Perfect Gift

7/12/2014

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At this time of year people start to think about what they will purchase their loved ones for Christmas. Some people put a lot of time and effort into their gift giving, others just wrap any piece of crap that they see or can re-gift from last years cast offs. And I do realise that Christmas isn't just all about the gifts, but let's be honest - no-one wants to get the craptastic gift of the century, it's really embarrassing when you receive someone's shit gift.
There is nothing harder than trying to pretend that you love an item that obviously has nothing to do with who you are, or what you are in to. I don't care about expense, I have had gifts that probably cost less than $5 but they were purchased with me in mind, and therefore I loved them! It's the gifts that show that a person has not learnt anything about, or just didn't give a flipping crap when they got it - those gifts bother me the most. 
Seriously, why bother to give a person a gift at all if you are not even going to think about who it is for? Now that defeats the entire purpose of a gift - that is a chore, certainly not a joy. It's an obviously reluctant outpouring of effort that was done begrudgingly and with no thought of Christmas or the sentiment attached to giving a gift. 
Poo on those people! You see them all the time during this time of the year, ready to scratch the eyes out of other shoppers just to get themselves done and dusted as soon as possible. They hate Christmas, they hate the process and the inconvenience and they especially hate the fact that they are expected to spend their money on others. People like that should be given an opt out, what is the purpose of making people do Christmas and be involved? If you're not feeling it, fine don't do it! It will spare us all your temper tantrums down the street and shitty thoughtless gifts - that sounds like the perfect gift to me! 
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LUCY
Release Date: 2014
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 89 mins

Being an avid Luc Besson fan, I was anticipating something more than this movie was able to deliver.  With a strong beginning I thought I was onto a winner, only to watch the movie fall further and further into the realms of the unoriginal and utterly unbelievable. 
Lucy (Scarlett Johansson) becomes an unwilling drug mule to a Taiwan drug-lord when he surgically inserts a new synthetic drug into Lucy's lower abdomen. After a good kick to the stomach, Lucy's package bursts open inside her and she instantaneously begins to 'evolve.' With not much time left to live but a rapidly growing brain capacity, Lucy seeks out Professor Norman (Morgan Freeman) a specialist in matters of the mind to share her knowledge with. The idea was there, the cast was there, but in the end Lucy fell short with it's glaring plot holes and reliance on Scarlett Johansson's incredible beauty rather than her talent. 
FINAL SAY: 10% use of our brains seems like a rather archaic theory to me.
2.5 Chili Peppers
 

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All of the Ugly Bits

3/12/2014

 
Faced with all of the ugly bits of myself this week as I struggle to not behave like a right royal asshole. I feel frayed around the edges, too little butter spread over too many pieces of toast. That teamed with my crappy as coping mechanisms generally means that I become a raving bitch with the patience of strung out crack addict. 
Yay, good times for those that have to be around me. The horrible thing is that not only do I behave badly, but I  also feel so bad for allowing the ugly parts of me to show through. You see, when you've spent your entire life shoving down all aspects of your hurt and angry self to get on with life, then when you are faced with those parts it is so tough. It's like a failure of the self, a sharp and undeniably painful truth about yourself that not only do you despise, but you never want anyone else to know about. 
It's weak and it's pathetic and it's just not good enough. 
And it's hard work keeping up the status quo and continually stifling your feelings. But I do, and I guess we all do sometimes. Cover it all up with a joke, because you just don't want people to see the real person in there, a watered down and funnier version is always so much easier to deal with. 
Easier on the self.....easier on everyone. 
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IRREVERSIBLE 
Release Date: 2002
Rating: R 18+
Running Time: 97 mins 
Every now and again I watch a movie that has a profoundly disturbing affect on me, Irreversible definitely falls into that category. Be warned, this film is not for the fainthearted at all, it is incredibly graphic and completely revolting. Director Gaspar Noe pushes his viewers to new heights when it comes to comfort levels, and all of his movies have left their mark on me, although this one left the most lasting impression. 
Irreversible plays backwards, literally. You start at the end, even the credits roll at the beginning of the film. We watch the events of one traumatic evening in Paris unfold in reverse-chronological order; retelling the brutal rape and beating of the beautiful Alex and the actions of her revenge filled boyfriend Marcus; played by real life couple at that time, Monica Bellucci and Vincent Cassel. 
The background noise in the first 30 minutes of this film runs with a hidden frequency of 28Hz which is almost inaudible. In humans it creates nausea and vertigo, which adds to the extremely unsettling effect of this movie. Three people actually fainted during its showing at the Cannes Film Festival in 2002, and it is still the most walked out of movie of all time. 
Don't have a big dinner before you watch it, and don't expect an easy ride because this is really horrid stuff. Love it or hate it, you will never forget it. 
FINAL SAY: Can't unsee that shit
4 Chili Peppers

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    Hi, my name is Barb.
    I crave excellent, high quality viewing experiences. 
    ​Share in my addiction. 

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