Here's a shout out to all of the directors that have given me a memorable viewing experience at some point in my lifetime. This list is designed to give credit to my favourite director's work and offer homage to their incredible efforts. I have also cited my favourite movie offering from each director as well, just in case you wanted to know where I thought that they had put down their best work thus far. 
What made me really happy when I was compiling this list was just how varied, vast and interesting the styles of direction are that I have been fortunate enough to experience, but what made me really sad was the lack of female directors that made this list. Clearly, the role of director is still a very male dominated field in Hollywood. I did happen to notice that all of the best movie nominations at the Golden Globes this year were all for male directors. And the saddest thing of all about this is, that it is not at all indicative of female directorial ability or talent in any way, shape or form, what it is indicative of is the lack of opportunities for upcoming female directors, and that is something that really needs to change.
Some of the best movies and television programs that I have seen over the last few years were both written and directed by women. Women have incredible and engaging stories to tell both in front of and behind the camera, and I for one would like to see more of them in the future. So, please make sure that you too are making an effort to see more movies that have been directed women in a show of support for all of the female directing pioneers that are out there telling their stories and sharing their visions in a very male dominated industry. 
So without any further ado, here are my favourite movie directors (in no particular order other than my recall ability) and my favourite movies that they have brought to life on screen. 
David Lynch - A true visionary in every sense, he's the man behind Twin Peaks, Blue Velvet, The Elephant Man and Eraserhead. Lynch is known for his surrealist cinema stylings and deeply original point of view.
BEST MOVIE: Mulholland Drive
Wes Anderson - The king of quirk with a distinct visual style and amusing narrative. He's delivered gems like The Royal Tenenbaums, Moonrise Kingdom and The Grand Budapest Hotel and has produced two incredible stop motion children's animations as well, one of which is on my Hall of Fame.
BEST MOVIE: Fantastic Mr Fox
Lars von Trier- A Danish director and scriptwriter that has had a long and controversial career. Basically he seems to enjoy destroying beautiful things in all of his films, which are gritty and damning. He's responsible for Nymphomaniac, Antichrist, Dancer in the Dark and Dogville, which all left a mark on me. 
BEST MOVIE: Melancholia
Jason Reitman - Reitman seems to 'get' women and understand difficult relationship dynamics, and his films certainly portray that knowledge. He brought us Juno, Up in the Air, Tully and Young Adult which were all exceptionally good. 
BEST MOVIE: Labor Day 
Taika Waititi - A clever New Zealand comedy filmmaker who always seems to get the right balance between poignancy and laughs in his films. He's the funny guy behind Moana (he wrote the first screenplay), What We Do in the Shadows, Eagle vs Shark, Boy and most recently Jojo Rabbit. 
BEST MOVIE: Hunt for the Wilderpeople
Peter Jackson - Jackson is responsible for all of the journeys that I took in darkened cinemas to Middle Earth, I bloody love ya Peter! Besides the all of the LOTR's and The Hobbits, he is also the man behind King Kong, The Lovely Bones and the incredible documentary They Shall Not Grow Old. 
BEST MOVIE: The Lord of the Rings Trilogy
John Hughes - Hughes pretty much dictated everything that I became obsessed with in my teens. From bad boys to '80's fashion Hughes could do no wrong. I have rewatched Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Sixteen Candles and Weird Science countless times, they're absolute classics. 
BEST MOVIE: The Breakfast Club
Stanley Kubrick  - Probably one of the most influential filmmakers of all time, Kubrick has crossed so many genres that his body of work is dizzying! He gave us giants like 2001: A Space Odyssey, The Shining, Full Metal Jacket, Spartacus and A Clockwork Orange. 
BEST MOVIE: Eyes Wide Shut
Alejandro González Iñárritu - With a flair for telling the most compelling international stories about the human condition, this highly acclaimed Mexican director gave us some unforgettable cinematic experiences like Birdman, Amores Perros, 21 Grams and The Revenant. 
BEST MOVIE: Babel
Oliver Stone - A controversial director that has been accused of being a conspiracy theorist. He actually wrote the script for Scarface (which was directed by Brian De Palma) and also gave us Platoon, The Doors, Born on the Fourth of July and Wall Street. 
BEST MOVIE: Natural Born Killers
Michel Gondry - A French director that uses strong visual themes and compositions (often called Mise-en-scene)  to tell a story. Because of this, Gondry's movies are visually striking and are often considered to be art house or avante-garde. He gave us The Science of Sleep, Be Kind Rewind and most recently the brilliant  television series Kidding. 
BEST MOVIE: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Guillermo del Toro - A visionary fantasy director from Mexico who creatively brings monsters and mythical creatures to life in his films. Generally science fiction, horror or fantasy based, del Toro gave us some amazing otherworldly journeys through The Shape of Water, Hellboy and Crimson Peak.
BEST MOVIE: Pan's Labyrinth
Danny Boyle - This British director delivers equal measures of intense action and sincere emotion into everything that he does.  He's tried his hand at many genres and kept us gripped with Trainspotting, 28 Days Later, Sunshine, The Beach and more recently, Yesterday.
BEST MOVIE: Slumdog Millionaire
Sam Mendes - The buzz around this director has been huge this year, given the success of 1917. However, let's not forget all of his other epic offerings like American Beauty, Skyfall and Revolutionary Road.
BEST MOVIE: 1917 
James Wan  - An Australian-Malaysian director who rose to prominence after he co-created the Saw film franchise. Since then he has been scaring the pants off people with memorable horror films like The Conjuring, Insidious and Annabelle films.
BEST MOVIE: The Conjuring 2: The Enfield Case
Greta Gerwig - Actress and filmmaker, Gerwig collaborated with her partner (who is also a director) Noah Baumbach on several films before she kicked off her solo directing career in 2017 with Lady Bird. Since then, Gerwig has become a respected and predominant modern Hollywood director. 
BEST MOVIE: Little Women
Ridley Scott - I feel like I grew up watching Ridley Scott action and science fiction films. He's been entertaining me for decades and he's had some mind blowingly great movies like Alien, Blade Runner, Gladiator, Black Hawk Down and American Gangster. 
BEST MOVIE: The Martian
Michael Moore - A controversial American documentary filmmaker that gets up in everyone's face; love him or hate him, Michael Moore is hard to ignore. He's hit some very high notes with Fahrenheit 9/11, Sicko and Where to Invade Next. 
BEST MOVIE: Bowling for Columbine
Guy Ritchie - Before he married Madonna, Ritchie was making heaps of kick arse British gangster movies that were really funny and very entertaining.  He has just recently gone back to doing that again with The Gentlemen, but let's not forget that he also did Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, RocknRolla and believe it or not, the 2019 live action version of Aladdin. 
BEST MOVIE: Snatch
Jim Jarmusch - The patron saint of independent cinema since the '80's, Jarmusch's films are really arty, really cool, very edgy and hypnotically contemplative. He gave us Paterson, Deadman and Ghost Dog: The Way of the Samurai. 
BEST MOVIE: Only Lovers Left Alive
Steven Soderbergh - When Soderbergh made Unsane in 2018 and filmed it all on his iphone he made us feel like we were wasting our lives! He's a pioneer of independent cinema and his body of work is incredibly impressive; he gave us Contagion, Erin Brockovich and the Ocean's franchise. 
BEST MOVIE: Logan Lucky 
Christopher Nolan - He probably got a bit pigeon-holed for a while due to his Batman trilogy efforts (which I also loved) but let's not forget that he also gave us other memorable epics like Inception, Dunkirk and Memento. 
BEST MOVIE: Interstellar
Sam Raimi - Raimi terrified audiences in the 80's with The Evil Dead and then enchanted them in the early 2000's with Spiderman so it would be fair to say that his work is varied and vast. He also gave us some very noteworthy cult horror movies like Army of Darkness, Drag Me to Hell and Don't Breathe.
BEST MOVIE: The Evil Dead
Clint Eastwood - He blew everyone away when he started directing and acting in a string of extremely good and Oscar worthy movies, which he is still doing to this day. The man's got some serious talent and gave us gems like  Gran Torino, Million Dollar Baby and Mystic River.
BEST MOVIE: Unforgiven
Tim Burton - No-one does eccentric gothic horror and fantasy films better than Burton, he is the master! He has a style that is all his own, and with a lot of help from wife Helena Bonham Carter and actor Johnny Depp he's given us fantastical romps into magical fantasy worlds that have included Charlie and the Chocolate factory, Beetlejuice, Big Fish, Edward Scissorhands and Alice in Wonderland. 
BEST MOVIE: Sweeney Todd
Ang Lee - A visionary and a genuinely beautiful storyteller. It's rare for me not to get choked up when I watch an Ang Lee movie, they are just so deeply affecting. He gave us the gorgeous Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, Life of Pi and The Ice Storm. 
BEST MOVIE: Brokeback Mountain
Sofia Coppola - Daughter of Francis Ford Coppola, Sofia has proven her worth as a director in her own right by delivering thoughtful explorations of female relationships and genuine, modern impressions of the human experience. She was responsible for The Virgin Suicides, Marie Antoinette and The Beguiled. 
BEST MOVIE: Lost in Translation
Judd Apatow -An American comedy director that started out producing and developing the television show Freaks and Geeks in the late 90's. He went on to direct Trainwreck, The 40-year-old Virgin and Knocked Up and also write some of the funniest movies that I have ever seen. 
​BEST MOVIE: Superbad
Alfred Hitchcock - The most influential and extensively studied filmmaker in the history of cinema, how could I possibly leave Hitchcock off my list? He's been giving audiences thrills and chills for years, and he still is with his extensive repertoire of thriller classics like North by Northwest, The Birds, Rear Window and Vertigo.
BEST MOVIE: Psycho
David Fincher - Ever since I saw The Game in 1997 I became interested in seeing more of Fincher's work. He's delivered a strong, controversial and impactful body of work and was responsible for Seven, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, The Social Network and Gone Girl.
BEST MOVIE: Fight Club
Paolo Sorrentino - An Italian director with an eye for truly beautiful and meaningful cinema. His films are absolute masterpieces and offer viewers moments of contemplation and glimpses of magic - I am obsessed with his work. He's responsible for Youth and This Must Be the Place. 
BEST MOVIE: The Great Beauty.
Joel and Ethan Coen - Genius brothers who bring something fresh, quirky and unique to the screen every time.  Their repertoire is so vast and so excellent that I really struggled to pick my favourite because they delivered The Big Lebowski, Blood Simple, O Brother Where Art Thou?, Fargo, Raising Arizona, Burn After Reading and True Grit, all of which were exceptionally great.
BEST MOVIE: No Country For Old Men
Alfonso Cuaron - A critically acclaimed Mexican director with an impeccable body of high quality work that crosses just about every genre of cinema including thriller, fantasy, science fiction and drama. Thanks Cuaron for giving us truly unforgettable moments like Y Tu Mama Tambien, Gravity and Children of Men.
BEST MOVIE: Roma
Francis Ford Coppola - Widely considered to be one of the greatest filmmakers of all time, Coppola practically had an all out nervous breakdown whilst filming Apocalypse Now in 1979. His commitment to 'getting the film right' has led people to see him a visionary of cinema. He gave us such giants as The Godfather trilogy, Bram Stoker's Dracula and The Outsiders. 
BEST MOVIE: Apocalypse Now
Quentin Tarantino - Known for his uber violent, non-linear storylines that contain extended dialogue, huge ensemble casts and loads of Pop Culture references, Tarantino has a style that is all his own. Many of his films pay homage to all of his own cinematic loves, especially Japanese martial arts, kung fu movies, spaghetti westerns and Italian horror. He's the man behind the following cinematic  juggernauts - Reservoir Dogs, Pulp Fiction, Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, Django Unchained, Kill Bill Vol 1 and 2, Death Proof and The Hateful Eight.
BEST MOVIE: Inglourious Basterds
Martin McDonagh - Considered to be the most acclaimed living Irish- British playwright, McDonagh caught my attentions when he made In Bruge, and then delivered again with Seven Psychopaths in 2012. But we all know him best for his amazing 2017 offering that made my Hall of Fame.
BEST MOVIE: Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri
Kathryn Bigelow - Spreading herself across a wide range of genres, Bigelow is not afraid to grapple the big topics. She is forging the way for future female directors with her stellar repertoire which includes Zero Dark Thirty, Near Dark and Point Break.
BEST MOVIE: The Hurt Locker
Darren Aronofsky - A director with a flair for delivering surreal, melodramatic and often disturbing content in his movies. Audiences often seem divided on Aronofsky's material, but I think that he is one of the most talented filmmakers of his generation. He brought us Black Swan, Requiem for a Dream, Pi, The Fountain and Mother!
BEST MOVIE: The Wrestler
Steven Spielberg - Okay, I know that he can be cheesy as hell, but when he gets it right - he really gets it right. There's a reason that Spielberg is still filling cinemas, the man knows how to make a movie. Besides I was virtually raised on Spielberg's material. He gave us E.T., Saving Private Ryan, Jurassic Park, Ready Player One, Schindler's List, Raiders of the Lost Ark, War of the Worlds and Jaws. 
BEST MOVIE: A.I. 
Tarsem Singh - An Indian director that creates films that are a complete immersion and a true feast for the senses. Stunning and absolutely unforgettable, I love his vision and wish that he would make more movies. Singh gave us Immortals, The Cell and Mirror Mirror.
BEST MOVIE: The Fall
Paul Thomas Anderson - Contemplative and filled with flawed and desperate characters, Anderson's movies explore dysfunctional families, alienation and loneliness and they are deeply affecting. He delivered some of my favourite cinematic experiences like Magnolia, Boogie Nights and Punch Drunk Love.
BEST MOVIE: There Will Be Blood.
Martin Scorsese - An American director best known for his gangster and crime movies, he is widely considered to be one of the most influential directors of the New Hollywood era. He tends to cast the same actors in many of his movies, and he has a long professional relationship with Robert De Niro. Scorsese gave us Goodfellas, Taxi Driver, The Departed, Raging Bull and most recently The Irishman. 
BEST MOVIE: Casino
David Cronenberg - Sometimes called the 'Baron of Blood' due to his visceral body horror movies. Cronenberg has made films that people never forget that they have seen, because they are so grotesque! It's really no surprise that I love his work! He gave us The Fly, Videodrome and  Scanners.
BEST MOVIE: eXistenZ
Alexander Payne -  One of the best filmmakers of all time, Payne's movies are full of dark humour and satirical depictions of a dysfunctional modern America. He's the man behind Sideways, About Schmidt and Nebraska.
BEST MOVIE: The Descendants
Jennifer Kent - Kent made her directorial debut in 2014 with the haunting film The Babadook. She is an Australian director that is willing to handle sensitive and disturbing material. Her 2018 movie The Nightingale caused waves due to it's graphic content, but I thought that it was one of the best film of that year. 
BEST MOVIE: The Nightingale
Roman Polanski - I wish that someone that wasn't a pedophile had directed Rosemary's Baby because it's definitely one of my favourite movies of all time. But the love ends there Roman because you're just not a good guy. 
BEST MOVIE: Rosemary's Baby 
HONOURABLE MENTIONS: aka 'I still love ya'

• Terrence Malick - The Thin Red Line and The Tree of Life, total game changers.
• Brian de Palma - Carrie and Scarface, enough said. 
• Dario Argento - 1977 Suspiria, nothing has come close to matching it in crazy colour design and stylised macabre.
• Neill Blomkamp - District 9 was next level genius, can we get more of that please? 
• Baz Luhrmann - Absolutely loved the Red Curtain Trilogy, and let's not forget The Great Gatsby or Australia. 
• Duncan Jones - you had me at Moon.
• Kenneth Lonergan - Manchester by the Sea, one of the most affecting movies I've ever seen.
• Woody Allen - actually I really don't love ya - NOT at all, you're a weirdo and you're a creep! However, I cannot deny that Blue Jasmine, Annie Hall, Mighty Aphrodite and Vicky Cristina Barcelona were all worthy watches. 

So, the 2020 Golden Globe Nominations have been announced, which will pretty much dictate what I will be watching over my summer break. Yep, I am going to be hitting the couch and the cinema pretty hard over the next few weeks so that I can watch the actual Golden Globe Awards Ceremony live on Arena on January 6th and have some understanding of the content that has been nominated.
As an avid movie addict, I do feel very compelled to see at least 75% of everything nominated before an event of this calibre occurs in order for me to be discerning about whether a movie/program is worthy of the win or not. 
This year there is some really great news for those of you out there that don't like to go the cinema very often because quite a number of the nominated films and television programs are actually available through various streaming networks (which I have indicated below for your viewing ease) which means that you can watch a good swag of them from the comfort of your own couch in preparation for the big event. 
I cannot deny that there does appear to be a couple of incredibly great movies and television series that have been snubbed from the lists here, but this happens every year and I will get around to sharing my personal top pics of the year list very soon, so let's just go with what's been nominated here, and I will talk more about my personal choices for the best of 2019 in the very near future.
So, without further ado, here are the 2020 Golden Globe Nominations - happy viewing!
Best Motion Picture — Drama
1917
The Irishman - Netflix
Joker
Marriage Story - Netflix
The Two Popes - Netflix
Best Motion Picture — Musical or Comedy
Dolemite Is My Name -  Netflix
Jojo Rabbit
Knives Out
Once Upon a Time in Hollywood
Rocketman
Best Foreign-Language Motion Picture
The Farewell
Les Misérables 
Pain and Glory 
Parasite
Portrait of a Lady on Fire
Best Limited Series or TV Movie
Catch-22 - Stan
Chernobyl - HBO
Fosse/Verdon - HBO
The Loudest Voice - Showtime
Unbelievable - Netflix
Best Television Series — Drama
Big Little Lies - HBO
The Crown - Netflix
Killing Eve -  ABC iview or Stan
The Morning Show
Succession - HBO
Best Comedy Series
Fleabag - Amazon Prime
Barry - HBO
The Kominsky Method - Netflix
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel - Amazon Prime
The Politician - Netflix
Best Motion Picture — Animated
Frozen II
How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World
Missing Link
Toy Story 4
The Lion King
Best Director — Motion Picture
Bong Joon-ho, Parasite
Sam Mendes, 1917
Todd Phillips, Joker
Martin Scorsese, The Irishman
Quentin Tarantino, Once Upon a Time in Hollywood
Best Performance by an Actor in a Limited Series or Movie
Christopher Abbott, Catch-22
Sacha Baron Cohen, The Spy
Russell Crowe, The Loudest Voice
Jared Harris, Chernobyl
Sam Rockwell, Fosse/Verdon
Best Performance by an Actress in a Limited Series or Movie
Kaitlyn Dever, Unbelievable
Joey King, The Act - Hulu 
Helen Mirren, Catherine the Great - Foxtel
Merritt Wever, Unbelievable
Michelle Williams, Fosse/Verdon
Best Performance by a Supporting Actor in a Series, Limited Series, or TV Movie
Alan Arkin, The Kominsky Method
Kieran Culkin, Succession
Andrew Scott, Fleabag
Stellan Skarsgård, Chernobyl
Henry Winkler, Barry
Best Performance by a Supporting Actress in a Series, Limited Series, or TV Movie
Patricia Arquette, The Act 
Helena Bonham Carter, The Crown
Toni Collette, Unbelievable
Meryl Streep, Big Little Lies
Emily Watson, Chernobyl
Best Score for a Motion Picture
Little Women
Joker
Marriage Story
1917
Motherless Brooklyn
Best Original Song
“Beautiful Ghosts,” Cats
“(I’m Gonna) Love Me Again,” Rocketman
“Into the Unknown,” Frozen II
“Spirit,” The Lion King
“Stand Up,” Harriet
Best Performance by an Actor in a Comedy Series
Michael Douglas, The Kominsky Method - Netflix
Bill Hader, Barry - HBO
Ben Platt, The Politician - Netflix
Paul Rudd, Living With Yourself - Netflix
Ramy Youssef, Ramy - Stan
Best Performance by an Actress in a Comedy Series
Christina Applegate, Dead to Me - Netflix
Kirsten Dunst, On Becoming a God in Central Florida -  SBS
Rachel Brosnahan, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel - Amazon Prime
Natasha Lyonne, Russian Doll - Netflix
Phoebe Waller-Bridge, Fleabag - Amazon Prime
Best Performance by an Actor in a Drama Series
Brian Cox, Succession - HBO
Kit Harington, Game of Thrones - Foxtel
Rami Malek, Mr. Robot - HBO
Tobias Menzies, The Crown
Billy Porter, Pose -Foxtel
Best Performance by an Actress in a Drama Series
Jennifer Aniston, The Morning Show - Apple TV+
Jodie Comer, Killing Eve
Olivia Colman, The Crown
Nicole Kidman, Big Little Lies
Reese Witherspoon, The Morning Show
Best Performance by a Supporting Actor in a Motion Picture 
Tom Hanks, A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood
Anthony Hopkins, The Two Popes
Al Pacino, The Irishman
Joe Pesci, The Irishman
Brad Pitt, Once Upon a Time in Hollywood
Best Screenplay
Marriage Story
Parasite
The Two Popes
Once Upon a Time in Hollywood
The Irishman
Best Performance by a Supporting Actress in a Motion Picture
Kathy Bates, Richard Jewell
Annette Bening, The Report
Laura Dern, Marriage Story
Jennifer Lopez, Hustlers
Margot Robbie, Bombshell
Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture — Musical or Comedy
Daniel Craig, Knives Out
Taron Egerton, Rocketman
Roman Griffin Davis, Jojo Rabbit
Eddie Murphy, Dolemite Is My Name
Leonardo DiCaprio, Once Upon a Time in Hollywood
Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture — Drama
Christian Bale, Ford v Ferrari
Antonio Banderas, Pain and Glory
Adam Driver, Marriage Story
Joaquin Phoenix, Joker
Jonathan Pryce, The Two Popes
Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture — Musical or Comedy
Ana de Armas, Knives Out
Cate Blanchett, Where’d You Go, Bernadette
Beanie Feldstein, Booksmart
Emma Thompson, Late Night
Awkwafina, The Farewell
Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture — Drama
Cynthia Erivo, Harriet
Scarlett Johansson, Marriage Story
Saoirse Ronan, Little Women
Charlize Theron, Bombshell
Renée Zellweger, Judy

The term 'gaslighting' was popularised after the 1944 film "Gaslight" with Charles Boyer and Ingrid Bergman. In the movie, the husband uses manipulative behaviours and manages to completely disrupt his wife's sense of reality. She begins to doubt her own sanity and he does all this to her so that he can steal her money....what an asshole!
Nowadays however, we use the term 'gaslighting' to describe people that use manipulative or specific patterns of behaviour to keep themselves on top or in control of other people. In short, a gaslighter doesn't want people doing anything without their say so or approval and they will use very sneaky and highly effective methods to keep themselves on top by making others doubt themselves or look incompetent. 
Gaslighters can turn up anywhere, you could even be married to one and not even realize it! They are usually in positions of power and they will most definitely want to keep things that way. Gaslighters can be men or women of any age, religion or nationality. They do often go undetected because their attempts at manipulation are slow, sly and exceptionally secretive. This can make them especially hard to identify in the workplace where they can happily push a lot of their own agenda or mask their cynicism by labelling it as necessary growth. 
Basically, gaslighters love the spotlight so they will happily claim other people's work or effort as their own, imply that other people's level of work is subpar or irrelevant and will openly push back any adverse behaviour that presents any kind of  jeopardy to their own perceived power status. Ever had a boss say something like "Oh,  I don't think that's true, maybe it's just how you choose to see it" when you try to present an issue to them? Well that soft manipulation technique is actually a form of gaslighting. So be aware, if your boss is always on the other side of all of your issues or giving you any reason to doubt yourself, your capabilities or your sense of reality, then odds are that you've been prey to a gaslighter. 
A gaslighter will micromanage others to the point of ridiculous in an attempt to stay in control. They will say things that make you doubt your own ability, they will make you feel like you aren't good enough and they will make it look like you are the one with the problem not them. Gaslighting is a form of narcissism, so you can bet that a gaslighter will vocally point out how successfully they once did the job that you are doing now - only better of course, and probably found it all a lot easier as well. They always lack the ability to put themselves into the shoes of another and therefore they lack empathy, which means that they will struggle to make deep connections with people, unless of course it will be of great benefit to them; then suddenly they will be hyper vigilant! 
Psychotherapist and owner of Mind Balance , Rose Lawrence has sighted the following traits to keep an eye out for when trying to spot a gaslighters: 

• Someone that uses their great humour and people skills to say things that sound innocent, but what they are really saying is underhanded and passive aggressive.
• Someone that listens long enough to collect information from you, but is not fully engaged in the listening process to show signs that they authentically care about what you are saying. 
• Lie and make you feel like it was your fault that they had to lie; gaslighters have zero accountability. 
• Take information and twist it around to their advantage or use it against others.
• Gossip to gain more ammunition.
• Appear confident but if you observe them closely they are actually deeply insecure.
• Leave you feeling like you are not enough. 

I hope that none of you ever have to deal with gaslighters in your life, but it is always good to be on the lookout for their ridiculous methods of manipulation, because as I said earlier, they are often very hard to detect.
If you do suspect that you are being gaslighted, make sure that you document any interactions as evidence. Setting up clear boundaries around what you will not tolerate will help you to document and identify when someone is gaslighting you. You will need very good evidence if you are going to try and out a gaslighter. Remember, gaslighters are sly, manipulative and methodical so you will need to be ahead of them at every step if you want to gain the upper hand or expose them. 
Also, don't forget to reaffirm your own self worth and what it is that you are good at. Doing this will help to combat any lingering doubts about your skills or sanity that a gaslighter might have tried to instill in you, and please seek support if you cannot manage this on your own. Remember, gaslighting is real and effective, that's why manipulative people use this method, so don't downplay the severity or the implications around it. Call it out, talk about it and stamp it out, gaslighting is nothing more than adult bullying and no-one should have to put up with it!

I know that I have blogged in the past about people not wanting to hear the truth and I still completely stand by the belief that people do not want to hear about the things that they aren't ready to deal with or address about themselves. Hell, I know that I don't like receiving negative feedback or being given the facts straight up about my own shortcomings or inadequacies, but whether you like it or not, transparency is fast becoming a word that is creeping into business and social vocabulary and the expectations around your ability to give and receive it are on the increase. 
So, is transparency actually a good thing? Well, like all new concepts it requires change and honesty, two things that most people do not like at all, so it is probably fair to say that complete transparency is not going to appeal to a lot of people. It also depends greatly upon who is delivering the 'transparent' point of view as well, because this buzz for transparency can also give a lot of nit-picking assholes a super platform to be checking everyone all of the time in the name of 'transparency' and this kind of power in the wrong hands is a recipe for disaster and a sure fire way to build resentment, potential conflict and general unrest. 
Clearly there is a need for moderation and mastery when it comes to total transparency, but that doesn't mean that we should put it into the 'too hard basket' or avoid it altogether just because it has the potential to trigger us or make us feel self conscious. Already the world has become a better place because we have advocated for transparency. Due to our ability to be more honest about others and ourselves there is a lot less underhanded oppression, abuse and manipulation in the world today. Hundreds of  everyday villains have since been outed and held accountable for their behaviours and this type of liberation through transparency can only ever be seen as positive growth for humankind. 
People are more empowered than ever to speak their truth, be their authentic selves and share their stories now that we have an open forum for honest self expression. We are now better than ever at talking through our troubles, doubts, illnesses and hang ups and this proves that when transparency works, it really works well. However, we cannot forget that when transparency is wielded by the hands of  haters or oppressors that it is actually a destructive force of evil and at it's essence deeply disempowering and manipulative. 
Basically, you cannot just assume that everyone is going to be able manage an advocacy for transparency, especially in the workplace. Truth be told, not many people are going to be comfortable with the very real conversations that will come with complete transparency and without adequate training, most people will struggle to implement it well. That is why the real meaning of transparency needs clear and accurate definition to begin with before there can be any expectation of success around it. 
Simply put, transparency can never be used in an accusatory or manipulative manner. What it advocates is honesty, but that honesty has to be delivered without blame, shame or judgement. Not an easy concept to wield because as soon as people start getting in touch with their personal truth, they become emotionally invested and that is where transparency starts to tilt. Rather than it being about building relationships and getting everyone on the same page, it becomes muddied by individual advocacy and agenda. And that is why no-one can assume that transparency will be the magical 'fix all' mode that will solve all workplace and social problems. 
Without decorum, compassion and exceptionally high interpersonal skills, transparency as a 'go to tool' is in danger of starting more fires than it can extinguish, which means that delivering it well will require a  high functioning environment with a group of highly developed individuals to ensure complete success. And the bottom line to that? Well, if your workplace is going to advocate for transparency then they have an obligation to train their staff and also recruit that right types of people to make that happen.
The great news is that you can actually start to build your own personal abilities around transparency immediately, which will give you an edge in the workplace and make the transition to a transparent environment a little easier for you in the long run. Here are my top ten do's when it comes to promoting and delivering transparency in the workplace:
1. Don't keep things secret, especially when it comes to job responsibility or function. 
2. Be proactive, not reactive. If something isn't working suggest a meeting of minds to really explore other options. 
3. Share results, good and bad, around your workplace. This will save people making similar mistakes or having to 'reinvent' the wheel. 
4. Know where to draw the line. Transparency isn't about knowing everyone's business, it's about making sure that everyone has the same level of information to do their job well. 
5. Be willing to have some difficult conversations. Sometimes the only way to fix a problem is to address it head on. Don't avoid uncomfortable conversations, but really consider the best ways to fix the problem before you even engage, and try not to take negative feedback personally but view it as a chance to see yourself from another perspective. 
6. Be genuine, people will trust you more if you are not being fake.
7. Be tolerant. Remember that everyone is more than likely doing the best with the skill set that they have and some people will require more support and training to get to where they need to be - and that's okay.
8. Don't do things unless there is an ultimate goal being met. If you can't state the purpose behind your actions clearly, then you don't need to do it at all. 
9. Trust others. Loads of people make their own work harder my micromanaging, controlling the flow of information or not trusting their team to deliver. Remember that you are only as strong as your weakest link and having one person with all of the knowledge is not being transparent.
10. Be personable. Chat to your co-workers and get to know the staff that you work with on a level beyond professional. You don't need all the details to get an understanding of how a colleague is feeling in their role, their passions and their personal ideals and knowing these things will help you to resolve an issues that may arise in the future. 
So, there you go, a quick start guide to getting your head around transparency and how to make it work for you. Consider your ability to be 'gently transparent' a work in progress, it's something that really does take a long time to develop and years of practise to master. I am a true novice on the topic myself, so in a way we are beginning this journey of improved transparency together.
I wish you well in your pursuit of improved professional and personal relationships. And like all new journeys, make sure you are prepared to make mistakes and also own them along the way!

GAGA: FIVE FOOT TWO
Release Date: 2017
Rating: M 
Running Time: 100 mins 
A cinema verite, Netflix Original documentary, outlining a year in the life of singer/songwriter Lady Gaga. By documenting the main events of her life whilst in production of her fifth album Joanne, we get an intimate peek into who Lady Gaga is as a person and a performer through her relationships both on and off the stage. 
There is no doubt that Lady Gaga has managed to push the envelope at every turn of her career, and this is certainly no exception. At times she appears vulnerable and sheds many tears during the course of the film over her physical pains, insecurities and her family's history. And then at other times she comes across like a hurricane of energy, calling all the shots and behaving like a control freak and an ego-maniac.
She is clearly capable of holding her own and wrangling many tasks at one time, but she constantly appears to be moving around with an entourage of people by her side and she is literally never alone in front of the camera during the movie. I think that made it  hard to tell, even from this expose of her life, who she really is when the cameras are not rolling and the audience has been removed. 
Love her or hate her, this is definitely an interesting viewing. Although I still don't feel any closer to knowing who 'the real' Lady Gaga really is, I cannot deny that she is a talented powerhouse who will no doubt continue to be influential in both the music and fashion industry for many years to come. 
FINAL SAY: A Perfect Illusion
3 Chilli Peppers ​

As if on cue, the 71st Primetime Emmy Awards happened on Monday at 10am. This was extremely fortuitous for me on so many levels. First and foremostly, I am currently on spring break which meant that I could be glued to the TV and watch it all unfold in real time, huge bloody bonus! And on top of that, my car was in for major repairs which meant that I was truly and genuinely housebound anyway, so winner, winner - the TV Gods spoke and I got to camp on the couch for three uninterrrupted hours straight without any guilty feelings whatsoever.
For a TV and movie addict, this was a very pleasant way to kick off my spring break and I must say that I was in total agreeance with the chosen winners in each category and highly recommend all of the TV series that won awards this year. Television just continues to go from strength to strength, and never before has TV ever been this consistently good. The Emmy award line up this year was staggeringly great and I don't think that the competition has ever been this fiercely competitive. All of the series nominated were really high quality which just galvanises the fact that television is better than it has ever been before. 
For anyone that missed all of the glitz, glamour and excitement, I have of course got you covered! Here is a list of the very deserving nominees and winners (in bold) for each category:
Outstanding Drama Series
Better Call Saul
Bodyguard
Game of Thrones
Killing Eve
Ozark
Pose
Succession
This Is Us

Outstanding Comedy Series
Barry
Fleabag
Russian Doll
Schitt’s Creek
The Good Place
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
Veep

Outstanding Lead Actor in a Drama Series
Bob Odenkirk (Better Call Saul)
Kit Harington (Game of Thrones)
Jason Bateman (Ozark)
Sterling K. Brown (This Is Us)
Milo Ventimiglia (This Is Us)
Billy Porter (Pose)

Outstanding Lead Actress in a Drama Series
Emilia Clarke (Game of Thrones)
Robin Wright (House of Cards)
Viola Davis (How To Get Away With Murder)
Sandra Oh (Killing Eve)
Jodie Comer (Killing Eve)
Mandy Moore (This Is Us)
Laura Linney (Ozark)

Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series
Henry Winkler (Barry)
Anthony Carrigan (Barry)
Stephen Root (Barry)
Tony Hale (Veep)
Tony Shalhoub (The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel)
Alan Arkin (The Kominsky Method)

Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series
Sarah Goldberg (Barry)
Sian Clifford (Fleabag)
Olivia Colman (Fleabag)
Betty Gilpin (GLOW)
Marin Hinkle (The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel)
Kate McKinnon (Saturday Night Live)
Alex Borstein (The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel)
Anna Chlumsky (Veep)

Outstanding Writing for a Comedy Series
Barry “ronny/lily”
Fleabag “Episode 1”
PEN15 “Anna Ishii-Peters”
Russian Doll “Nothing In This World Is Easy”
Russian Doll “A Warm Body”
The Good Place “Janet(s)”
Veep “Veep”

Outstanding Directing for a Comedy Series
Barry “The Audition”
Barry “ronny/lily”
Fleabag “Episode 1”
The Big Bang Theory “Stockholm Syndrome”
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel “All Alone”
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel “We’re Going To The Catskills!”

Outstanding Comedy Actor
Bill Hader (Barry)
Don Cheadle (Black Monday)
Anthony Anderson (Black-ish)
Eugene Levy (Schitt’s Creek)
Ted Danson (The Good Place)
Michael Douglas (The Kominsky Method)

Outstanding Comedy Actress
Christina Applegate (Dead to Me)
Phoebe Waller-Bridge (Fleabag)
Catherine O’Hara (Schitt’s Creek)
Natasha Lyonne (Russian Doll)
Rachel Brosnahan (The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel)
Julia Louis-Dreyfus (Veep)

Outstanding Competition Series
American Ninja Warrior
RuPaul’s Drag Race
Nailed It!
The Amazing Race
The Voice
Top Chef

Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Limited Series
Emily Watson (Chernobyl)
Patricia Clarkson (Sharp Objects)
Marsha Stephanie Blake (When They See Us)
Vera Farmiga (When They See Us)
Patricia Arquette (The Act)
Margaret Qualley (Fosse/Verdon)

Outstanding Directing for a Limited Series, Movie, or Dramatic Special
A Very English Scandal
Chernobyl
Escape At Dannemora
Fosse/Verdon “Glory”
Fosse/Verdon “Who’s Got The Pain”
When They See Us

Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Limited Series
Ben Whishaw (A Very English Scandal)
Stellan Skarsgard (Chernobyl)
Paul Dano (Escape at Dannemora)
John Leguizamo (When They See Us)
Michael K. Williams (When They See Us)
Asante Blackk (When They See Us)

Outstanding Writing for a Limited Series, Movie, or Dramatic Special
A Very English Scandal
Chernobyl
Escape At Dannemora “Episode 6”
Escape At Dannemora “Episode 7”
Fosse/Verdon “Providence”
When They See Us “Part Four”

Outstanding Lead Actor in a Limited Series
Mahershala Ali (True Detective)
Hugh Grant (A Very English Scandal)
Benicio del Toro (Escape At Dannemora)
Sam Rockwell (Fosse/Verdon)
Jared Harris (Chernobyl)
Jharrel Jerome (When They See Us)

Outstanding Television Movie
Bandersnatch (Black Mirror)
Deadwood
Brexit
King Lear
My Dinner With Hervé

Outstanding Lead Actress in a Limited Series
Amy Adams (Sharp Objects)
Patricia Arquette (Escape at Dannemora)
Michelle Williams (Fosse/Verdon)
Joey King (The Act)
Aunjanue Ellis (When They See Us)
Niecy Nash (When They See Us)

Outstanding Limited Series
Chernobyl
Escape at Dannemora
Fosse/Verdon
Sharp Objects
When They See Us

Outstanding Writing for a Variety Series
Documentary Now!
Full Frontal With Samantha Bee
Last Week Tonight With John Oliver
Late Night With Seth Meyers
Saturday Night Live
The Late Show With Stephen Colbert

Outstanding Variety Sketch Series
Documentary Now!
Drunk History
I Love You, America With Sarah Silverman
Saturday Night Live
Who Is America?
At Home With Amy Sedaris

Outstanding Directing for a Variety Series
Documentary Now! “Waiting For The Artist”
Drunk History “Are You Afraid Of The Drunk?”
Last Week Tonight With John Oliver “Psychics”
Saturday Night Live “Host: Adam Sandler”
The Late Show With Stephen Colbert “Live Midterm Election Show”
Who Is America? “Episode 102”

Outstanding Variety Talk Series
Full Frontal With Samantha Bee
Jimmy Kimmel Live!
Last Week Tonight With John Oliver
The Daily Show With Trevor Noah
The Late Late Show With James Corden
The Late Show With Stephen Colbert

Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Drama Series
Jonathan Banks (Better Call Saul)
Giancarlo Esposito (Better Call Saul)
Alfie Allen (Game of Thrones)
Nikolaj Coster-Waldau (Game of Thrones)
Peter Dinklage (Game of Thrones)
Michael Kelly (House of Cards)
Chris Sullivan (This Is Us)

Outstanding Writing for a Drama Series
Better Call Saul “Winner”
Bodyguard “Episode 1”
Game of Thrones “The Iron Throne”
Killing Eve “Nice And Neat”
Succession “Nobody Is Ever Missing”
The Handmaid’s Tale “Holly”

Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Drama Series
Lena Headey (Game of Thrones)
Gwendoline Christie (Game of Thrones)
Sophie Turner (Game of Thrones)
Maisie Williams (Game of Thrones)
Fiona Shaw (Killing Eve)
Julia Garner (Ozark)

Outstanding Directing for a Drama Series
Game of Thrones “The Last Of The Starks”
Game of Thrones “The Long Night”
Game of Thrones “The Iron Throne”
Killing Eve “Desperate Times”
Ozark “Reparations”
Succession “Celebration”
The Handmaid’s Tale “Holly"

Being a movie blog, it was hard for me to find a film to attach to this post, but after some consideration I decided to go with Paris is Burning in tribute to this year's Outstanding Competition Television series winner - RuPaul's Drag Race, which was clearly influenced by this outstanding and informative must-see documentary.

PARIS IS BURNING
Release Date: 1990
Rating: M
Running Time: 71 mins
Ever wondered where Madonna got her idea for Vogue? And where RuPaul got his 'fierce' drag competition ideas? Well look no further, because Paris is Burning will answer all those questions and more.  
An American documentary, directed by Jennie Livingston, that chronicles the drag ball culture of the mid to late 80's in New York City and the African-American, Latino, gay and transgender communities involved. This invaluable documentary shines a spotlight on the Golden Age of New York City drag balls and offers a thoughtful exploration of race, class, gender and sexuality in America during the 80's. 
​Elaborately structured drag ball competitions offer contestants the opportunity to 'walk' and be judged on their 'realness' by prominent members of the scene who have established 'houses' that serve as intentional families, social groups and performance teams.
Through a series of ball footage reels and interviews with prominent members, we gain an intimate and insightful understanding of the struggles, strengths, pride and humour that exists within this colourful subculture. 
This is an intelligent, at times troubling, but also desperately hopeful piece that everyone should see at least once in their lifetime.
FINAL SAY: It is so obvious that if you have captured the great white way of living, or looking, or dressing, or speaking - you is a marvel.
3.5 Chilli Peppers ​

This holiday period has not come without it's own unique set of challenges. I am never really sure if it is a good thing for the wheels to drop off during a down period so that I have the time to properly deal with things, or if it only serves to rob me of some much needed down time. However, regardless of how I choose to perceive these inconveniences makes them no less real or prevalent in my life, so I choose to just face them head on and continue to search for the hidden silver linings in these hiccups of the human condition. 
What it has meant is that I have had less free time and also less money to splurge on the frivolous and fun things, but c'est la vie....like all things in life these moments of challenge are impermanent and constantly moving and won't last forever. You have to stay firmly rooted in the 'milk and honey' aspects of your life when you find yourself wrangling with darker days like these. Luckily,  I still have a lot of milk and honey in my life, so it is easy for me to be distracted by love, good company and humour. And it is in these moments of realisation about my blessings and good fortunes that I ponder how people that do not have these things still manage to find their milk and honey during the difficult times. 
It is easy not to drown when you have a life vest, a flotation buoy and a rescue boat coming to get you, but what do you do if you don't have those things in your life? Not everyone is as fortunate in life as I am, so where do they go when the world grows dims and the days feel darker? Clearly for people without good support units around them, things can get rather grim when life seems insurmountably difficult; but all hope is never totally lost because there is always help available if you know where to look for it. 
Aside from trying to expand your support networks, which can be ridiculous difficult for some people and sharpening your own coping skills, which again is easier said than done, there is always a voice of reason that can be reached out to when things get too big and the world gets too loud.
You don't need to have a life full of milk and honey to find a shoulder to lean on, a friendly voice or a helping hand that will pull you up when you feel like you can't lift yourself up, and the great news is that Australia has one of the best help lines in the world for this kind of thing. Lifeline (PH: 131114) is available 24 hours a day 7 days a week with experienced counsellors and it's free and completely confidential.  And no, lifeline is not just for people that want to commit suicide, it's for anyone in crisis that feels like they need someone to talk to or confide  in. 
Many people without adequate support don't reach out for help because they think that their problems may not be significant enough, but anyone in need without adequate support is significant enough. The counsellors at lifeline, regardless of a callers age, gender, ethnicity, religion or sexual orientation are there to listen, provide immediate support, offer strategies and options and provide  referrals that can assist with moving forward.
We all need someone to lean on from time to time, there is no shame in crawling sometimes or admitting that you are finding things hard. Bottom line is that life sometimes is hard, really bloody hard and if you don't have a support network around you, just remember that you are not alone and you do not have to do anything on your own. There is always help out there and your problems are more than important enough to tap into them, so please don't struggle on alone; reach out, open up, share the load and please, please.... get some help. 

PIN CUSHION
Release Date: 2017
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 82 mins 
When odd Iona and her hunchback mother Lyn relocate to a new town, they are both optimistic for a  fresh start and hoping to integrate into their new community and make new friends. Unfortunately, their naivety about just how vicious, exclusive and unpleasant bored suburban housewives and attention seeking teenagers can be, causes them to crumble. 
Written and directed by Deborah Haywood, Pin Cushion completely assaults your senses with it's onslaught of awkward coming of age interludes, cruel and manipulative behaviours and it's agonisingly emotional struggle for acceptance. Joanna Scanlan is amazing as the well meaning social pariah Lyn, and Lily Newmark is perfectly awkward as the 'desperate to be liked' teenager Iona. 
This is truly heartbreaking stuff and at times it is quite hard to watch. Pin Cushion openly explores the many facets of a mother-daughter relationship within a single parent dynamic and explores issues of loneliness, isolation, bullying and co-dependence in ways that cannot be ignored. 
FINAL SAY: It's not just children that can bully in relentlessly cruel ways. 
3.5 Chilli Peppers ​

One of the things that I do enjoy most about a mid-winter break is the ability to catch up on some late night viewing and couch potato antics without any guilty feelings whatsoever. Not having to get up and go to work in the morning allows me to indulge in the pleasure of watching entire seasons of television programs and back to back movies, and honestly it is just heaven. With a good strong coffee in hand, a couple of fluffed up pillows and a cosy blanket, I have managed to wonderfully while away many of my holiday evenings in front of the idiot box and I am more than happy to share my joyful at home viewing highlights with you, should you also wish to indulge in some quality lounge room viewing. 

As far as television goes, there has been no shortage of high quality, engaging programming to get completely lost in this year. I have watched a tonne of television this year, more than I ever have before and a lot of it has been of a really high standard as well. The best that I have seen and would highly recommend so far this year are: (in no particular order) 
Escape at Dannemora (Stan) - dramatisation
Sally 4Ever (HBO - Foxtel) - comedy
After Life (Netflix) - comedy drama
Les Miserables (BBC - Foxtel) - period drama
Game of Thrones - S8 (HBO - Foxtel) - fantasy drama
American Gods S2 (Amazon Prime) - fantasy drama
What We Do in the Shadows (FX - Foxtel) - horror comedy 
This Country (Stan) - comedy mockumentary 
Forever (Amazon Prime) - fantasy drama
Killing Eve s2 (ABC iview) - crime drama
The Last O.G. S2 (Stan) - comedy 
The Let Down S2 (ABC iview) - comedy 
Bad Omens (Amazon Prime) - fantasy drama
Detectorists S3 (ABC iview)  - comedy 
Gentleman Jack (HBO - Foxtel) - period drama
Bridget & Eamon (Amazon Prime) - comedy 
Euphoria (HBO - Foxtel) - drama
Chernobyl (HBO - Foxtel) - dramatisation 
The Act: Dee Dee and Gypsy Rose (Hulu - Foxtel) - dramatisation 
Perpetual Grace (Stan) - art house 
Big Little Lies S2 (HBO - Foxtel) - drama
Stranger Things S3 (Netflix)  - science fiction

To be honest, quality movies to view at home have been a little thinner on the ground, but it is often quite hard for me to find things that I haven't already seen on streaming channels because I go to the movies so often. Seth and I have been trawling through a lot of classic horror, which SBS on demand has an excellent selection of, should you need to sate a yearning for retro horror like The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Halloween, Hellraiser or Scanners. Aside from that Amazon Prime has the largest B grade horror library that I have ever encountered, admittedly it is mostly shit, but you can find the odd retro gem in there as well like Night of the Living Dead, Carrie,  Zombieland and the Friday the 13th Series. 
However, without further ado, here is a list of the best movies that I have watched on the couch (not at the cinema) this year so far: (again listed in no particular order)
Film Stars Don't Die in Liverpool - Netflix (Romance) 
It's Actually a Funny Story - Netflix (Drama)
Suspiria - Amazon Prime (Horror) 
Hush - Netflix (Horror) 
Tully - Netflix (Drama)
The Poughkeepsie Tapes - Stan (Gritty) 
Observance - Amazon Prime (Horror)
American Animals - Foxtel (Crime) 
I am Mother - Netflix (Sci-Fi) 
Pin Cushion - SBS on demand (Gritty) 
Mandy - Foxtel (Horror) 
Full reviews of all of these films can be found on the corresponding genre lists in the drop down menu above if you're looking for more information.
Happy viewing my friends! 

Spicywatch.com has just turned 5, hip hip hooray Spicywatch! Apart from my family and friends, I don't think that I have poured this much of my spare time and energy consistently into anything before, and for as long as I can remember, I don't feel like I have loved or enjoyed pouring my spare time into anything as much as I have loved sharing Spicywatch with all of you wonderful readers. 
Watching and reviewing movies is not just a hobby for me anymore, it is an important part of my life now. For five years I have shared my thoughts, my opinions and my passion for cinema with you all, and so far I have managed to review 790 movies that I honestly believe are worthy of your time and effort to view. I look forward to one day having 1,000 movies on my Spicywatch genre lists that are worthy of your time, but it will take me quite a few more years to get that far. 
Last nights celebrations were focused on the Best Music Moments in Cinema, which is a broad topic, but extremely fun one to investigate. Musicals were most welcome, but not mandatory, and as it turned out, there are actually a huge number of movies that have very significant and memorable music scenes in them that are actually completely non-musical movies. 
My wonderful and supportive friends and family gathered in Enfield to share a drink and their cinematic loves with me; and we laughed, sang and got our groove on to some of the most unexpected (but mostly excellent) musical moments that we could find.
And here is the extensive list of best music moments in cinema (from every genre) as chosen by my nearest and dearest, that made it to the Spicywatch 5th Birthday celebration screening in my living room last night:
Baby Driver (Bellbottoms) 
Pulp Fiction (You Never Can Tell) 
Beetlejuice (Banana Boat Song) 
The Skeleton Twins (Nothings Gonna Stop Us Now) 
Ferris Bueller's Day Off (Twist and Shout) 
Coraline (Garden Scene composed by Peter Corrigan) 
Pretty in Pink (If You Leave) 
The Perks of Being  a Wallflower (Heroes) 
Napoleon Dynamite (Canned Heat) 
Little Miss Sunshine (Super Freak)
Straight Outta Compton (Boyz N Da Hood) 
The Blues Brothers (Shake Your Tail Feather) 
Two Hands (These Days) 
American Psycho (Hip to be Square) 
The Lion King (Circle of Life) 
The Secret Life of Walter Mitty (Space Oddity) 
The Hunt for the Wilderpeople (Ricky's Birthday Song) 
Guardians of the Galaxy (Mr Blue Sky) 
Moulin Rouge (Come What May) 
Mean Girls (Jingle Bell Rock) 
Trainspotting (Lust for Life) 
Sound of Music (Edelweiss) 
Reservoir Dogs (Stuck in the Middle) 
O Brother Where Art Thou? (I Am a Man of Constant Sorrow)
Risky Business (Old Time Rock and Roll) 
Easy A (A Pocketful of Sunshine) 
The Mask (Cuban Pete)
Nacho Libre (Encarnacion) 
Hedwig and the Angry Inch (Origins of Love) 
The Big Lebowski (Just Dropped In) 
Pitch Perfect (Riff off) 
Purple Rain (Title Track) 
Love Actually (Jump) 
Bridesmaids (Hold on) 
Little Fish (Flame Trees) 
Slumdog Millionaire (Jai Ho)
Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (Anything Goes) 
Singing in the Rain (Title track)
And one of my all time favourites: Mulholland Drive (Llorando/ Crying) 

When you have a couple of crappy things happen to you in row, it can be really easy to get totally gung-ho with the 'poor me' routine and lose sight of what is really going on. Over the last week it has been one of those weeks in our household, one of those opposite to a Midas touch kind of weeks, where everything that you do, even if you set out to do it with really grand and noble intentions, it turns out to be shit show.
We all know what it feels like, we have all been there and people even say that these things come in threes to try and limit the amount of crap that can arrive in their lives at one time. However, things do not come in threes, they come any damn way that they want to, because the universe is totally random and unpredictable, which means that sometimes they come in tens and or even twenties. However, sometimes these things that we perceive to be obstacles or setbacks or problems are actually just signposts of change or opportunities to grow, but it's so bloody hard to see it that way when you're in the thick of it all.  
The first thing that you need to do in these situations is to define what really constitutes as a disaster. To some people a flat tyre is a disaster, to others it is merely an inconvenience and then to  others is it a chance to take a walk and smell the flowers. For me a flat tyre is somewhere in the middle, hardly a disaster, but not exactly a delight either. Unfortunately, most people fall into the disaster zone pretty quickly, and it is something that I am attempting to try and engage in less and less often. 
For example, my car needs repairs and I need to go to hospital to have something corrected that is making me uncomfortable.  Neither of these is a disaster, firstly I can pay for the repairs and medical bills and secondly I have a car and can get the medical treatment that I require immediately. That's a lot more than millions of other people in the world have, so first world squabbling about something manageable is pointless and stupid. Is it inconvenient? Sure, but so what? There's no point whining about it, let's just get it done and move on. 
And pretty much all of my stuff has been inconvenient, but that's all, just inconvenient. Some of it has been my own fault actually, like the speeding ticket that I got last Friday night. I got that ticket because I was speeding, no-one told me to speed or made me speed and I didn't even need to rush to where I was going to, so that was clearly a signpost for me to slow the fuck down! I know that I am lead foot at times, and there is nothing more humbling than a hefty bill to make you ease off the accelerator. And I was going way too fast, I could have caused an accident or pranged my car, and then I would've had a disaster to contend with!
So I think that when these things do happen you need to step back and have a really good look at what is actually occuring. Ask yourself, how much of this has been created by your own choices? How much is just necessary maintenance on an abundant lifestyle? And will you even care about this in 6 weeks time? Once you've answered those questions then you can analyse your real depth of disaster or lack thereof, because most of the time everything is really pretty amazing and we do need to be grateful for those moments and not let the small inconveniences distract us from that fact. 

That time has rolled around again, the time for me to collate all of my viewing efforts and put forward my recommendations for the best viewing choices of 2018. As I have mentioned before, quality television really dominated my time this year and I gave more 5 Chilli Pepper ratings to TV series than I gave to movies this year. To be honest, overall I do feel that the quality of movies this year was not as strong as it was in 2017, and I feel like I watched a lot more mediocre movies than I did last year as well, but sometimes that happens. 
In total I viewed 253 movies in 2018 and 133 TV series (some of which had several seasons). I have watched programs across every genre, and I can honestly say that there were excellent offerings in all of those genres in both movies and television. This year I am not going to list my least favorite viewings for 2018 because I have made myself a new years resolution to be more positive and to not focus on the negative things, so to list the worst things I saw in 2018 would be counterproductive to that resolution. Besides, as I have said before, even if I didn't love it, doesn't mean that someone else won't or that it is rubbish. At the end of the day, even the movies that we don't really enjoy have required a lot of time, money and effort to be produced; to shit on someone else's dream or vision is a pretty lousy thing to do, so I am choosing not to go there. 
I hope that you find something on these lists that you have not seen yet and can hopefully now explore. For full reviews of all of the recommended movies below, just go to the appropriate genre tab at the top of the page.
So without any further ado, here are my TOP MOVIE CHOICES (2018 release):  

• ROMA - Foreign 4.5 Chilli Peppers
• Hereditary - Horror 4.5 Chilli Peppers 
• Beautiful Boy - Drama 4.5 Chilli Peppers 
• Isle of Dogs - Kid Friendly 4.5 Chilli Peppers
• BlacKkKlannsman  - Drama 4 Chilli Peppers 
• A Star in Born - Romance 4 Chilli Peppers 
• The Tale - Gritty 4 Chilli Peppers 
• Paddington 2 - Kid Friendly 4 Chilli Peppers 
• Avengers: Infinity War -  Super 4 Chilli Peppers 
• The Ballad of Buster Scruggs - Art House 4 Chilli Peppers 
• Upgrade - Science Fiction/ Action 4 Chilli Peppers  
• John Leguizamo: Latin History for Morons - Documentary 4 Chilli Peppers 

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

• A Quiet Place - Sci-Fi/ Horror 3.5 Chilli Peppers
• Annihilation - Sci-Fi 3.5 Chilli Peppers
• Black Panther - Super 3.5 Chilli Peppers
• Ready Player One - Fantasy 3.5 Chilli Peppers
• The Breaker Upperers - Comedy 3.5 Chilli Peppers
• Searching - Crime 3.5 Chilli Peppers
• Game Night - Comedy 3.5 Chilli Peppers
• Love, Simon - Romance 3.5 Chilli Peppers
• Bohemian Rhapsody - Drama 3.5 Chilli Peppers
• Blockers - Comedy 3.5 Chilli Peppers

Here are my top recommendations for pre- 2018 releases that I didn't see until 2018: 

• Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri - Drama 5 Chilli Peppers (Hall of Fame)
• Bright Star - Romance 4.5 Chilli Peppers
• Wind River - Drama 4 Chilli Peppers
• Good Time - Drama 4 Chilli Peppers 
• The Shape of Water - Fantasy 4 Chilli Peppers 
• Coco - Kid Friendly 4 Chilli Peppers 
• Mudbound - Drama 4 Chilli Peppers
• Call Me by Your Name  - Romance 4 Chilli Peppers 
• Ingrid Goes West - Drama 4 Chilli Peppers 
• Beasts of No Nation - Gritty 4 Chilli Peppers 
• The Tunnel - Foreign 4 Chilli Peppers 

BEST TELEVISION SERIES of 2018: 

• Master of None S2 - Comedy/ Drama 5 Chilli Peppers 
• One Strange Rock - Documentary 5 Chilli Peppers
• Atlanta S2 - Drama 5 Chilli Peppers
• Sharp Objects - Crime 5 Chilli Peppers
• Patrick Melrose - Drama 5 Chilli Peppers
• Kidding - Drama 4.5 Chilli Peppers
• Who is America? - Comedy/ Documentary 4.5 Chilli Peppers
• Here and Now - Drama 4.5 Chilli Peppers
• Maniac - Sci-Fi 4.5 Chilli Peppers
• Lemony Snicket's a Series of Unfortunate Events S2 - Fantasy/ Kid Friendly 4.5 Chilli Peppers 
• Mosaic - Crime 4 Chilli Peppers
• The End of the Fucking World S1 - Crime 4 Chilli Peppers
• Dirk Gently S2 - Fantasy 4 Chilli Peppers
• Barry S1 - Crime/ Drama 4 Chilli Peppers
• AHS - Apocalypse - Horror 4 Chilli Peppers
• Mr Inbetween - Crime 4 Chilli Peppers
• Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat - Documentary 4 Chilli Peppers
• Just Another Immigrant - Comedy  4 Chilli Peppers
• Mr Mercedes S1 - Crime  4 Chilli Peppers
• Wanderlust - Drama  4 Chilli Peppers
• The Miracle - Foreign  4 Chilli Peppers
• Anne with an E S2 - Drama 4 Chilli Peppers

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

• Britannia S1 - Fantasy 3.5 Chilli Peppers 
• Ash vs Evil Dead S3 - Horror/ Comedy 3.5 Chilli Peppers 
• Swedish Dicks S2 - Comedy/ Crime 3.5 Chilli Peppers 
• Future Man - Sci-Fi/Comedy 3.5 Chilli Peppers 
• GLOW S2 - Drama 3.5 Chilli Peppers 
• The Detectorists S2 - Comedy/ Drama 3.5 Chilli Peppers 
• Sabrina the Teenage Witch - Horror 3.5 Chilli Peppers 
• Wellington Paranormal - Horror/Comedy 3.5 Chilli Peppers 
• The Kominsky Method - Drama/ Comedy 3.5 Chilli Peppers 

Genocide is the deliberate and systematic destruction, in whole or in part, of an ethnic, racial, religious or national group. When we think about racial genocide we generally think about all of the indigenous communities that were horrifically and systematically murdered, removed or bred out of existence because of greed and intolerance.
Native people with advanced civilisations like the Mayans, the Aztecs, the Incas, the native Mexican tribes, the Apache, the Navajo, the Cherokee, the Yuki, the Indigenous Australian and African tribes, the New Zealand Maori and Inuit tribes were all severely diminished or even completely wiped out when the Spanish, Portuguese, French, Dutch, British, Belgian and Russian explorers began to invade their lands.
These white invaders from across the seas came to rape, plunder and claim the land, at any cost. If they couldn't just overpower or kill the natives outright with brute force, which was often the case, then they crept in, in the most insidious of ways, spreading their diseases, destroying their crops and livelihood and abducting and enslaving their people, eventually destroying entire native cultures from the inside out.
And that, is genocide. And that is the stuff of history is it not? White man comes, white man takes and white man wonders why he is not trusted anymore. And we all like to tell ourselves that this is all just bad water under the bridge, that this type of thing does not happen anymore, that people have learnt from their mistakes and that genocide is not a modern construct but an ancient one. Well I hate to be the one to break it to you, but people haven't learned jack shit from their sordid and generally horrific past exploits because genocide has also feature heavily in the 20th century history as well, and in a lot of those cases, people have actually turned on each other, their very own people and it is just so disturbing. 
There were the atrocities of the Ottoman Empire/ Turkey when the Christian minorities of Armenia, Assyria and Greece were persecuted. There was the starvation of the Ukrainian people during the Soviet Famine of 1932. Then the mass deportation of Lithuanians, Latvians and Estonians and the systematic slaying of Poles and ethnic cleansing of the Crimean Tatars by Stalin in 1937-38.  There was the mass killings of the Chinese people by the Japanese in the Nanking massacre followed by The Holocaust - when the German Nazis murdered approximately 3.8 million Jewish people and performed an ethnic cleansing of the Slavic countries. Then there was a genocide that was carried out on the Cambodians by the Khmer Rouge regime led by Pol Pot in between 1974 and 1979, and the list just goes on and on.....Tibet, the Congo, Somalia, Chechnya, Myanmar, ISIL... I haven't even touched the sides here, there are literally billions of lives and cultures throughout history that have been destroyed through means of genocide. And genocide is still going on today, it is happening right now and the end is nowhere in sight. 
So what have we learned through all of this killing? What is the take away from all of this bloodshed and civil unrest? For some, they have learned nothing and maybe never will, but for many of us around the globe we have learned that no-one is safe from persecution and that only through a united global mindset will we ever be free from another genocide.
The positive is that most countries have now signed to a peace treaty and will not tolerate the inhumane treatment of any ethnic, religious or racial party; and that is a very good start. We now also place more emphasis on learning from the past and understanding our torn history as humans and supporting the liberation of depleted and destroyed cultures.
It is not okay to not own our history, it is ours, we must own it and learn from it if we are to get better, and I do believe that we can, but it's going to take time and patience and empathy and ownership of what has transpired. And quite frankly, not everyone is prepared to own the atrocities of their own heritage which is going to slow us all down quite a bit, but that doesn't mean that we can give up, it means that we have to push even harder to drive home the message that no-one's culture, religion, ethnicity or race makes them inferior to anyone else and that no-one ever has the right to take that very human right away from anyone else. We have seen enough genocide in our past, wouldn't it be nice to see a lot more liberation and fraternity in our future? 

JOHN LEGUIZAMO'S LATIN HISTORY FOR MORONS
Release Date: 2018
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 90 mins
Colombian-American actor John Leguizamo brings his one man Broadway show to Netflix in this unmissable documentary about Latino history. Latin History for Morons earned a 2018 Tony Award nomination for Best Play on Broadway and is easily the most interesting chalk and talk history lesson that you will ever sit through.
When John's son falls victim to a white bully at a Manhattan private school for being Latino, John delves into his own history to try and identify the reasons for America's whitewashed historical recount and the hidden heros that have been sadly overlooked. 
The excruciatingly violent past of the indigenous people of America and South America is delivered here in an informative and effervescent way by Leguizamo who manages to illustrate all of the ugliness with a good speckle of humour and an engaging flair. However underneath it all, this is a harrowing tale about all of the native people that were slain and driven from their homes over the past 3000 years and the impact that is still being felt today as a consequence of that.
Everyone needs to see this, it is a powerful and thought provoking watch that offers a great overview into Hispanic culture for people (or morons like me) that don't know a lot about the topic. 
FINAL SAY: Violence is the lowest form of communication.
4 Chilli Peppers ​

Men's health is an extremely neglected issue, especially in countries like Australia where the term 'Man Up' or 'Don't be a Pussy' are the staple when it comes to male wellbeing. However, the truth is that the stoic, strong and silent male stereotype that Aussie males have happily hung their hats upon for decades has actually been incredibly damning for men.
Australia now has an alarmingly high suicide rate, and 75% of those suicides are men between the ages 15-44, which means that more men die of suicide every year than from road accidents. Suicide has now become the 10th highest cause of death among men, which means that it is an issue that we can no longer afford to ignore. Just today, 6 Australia men will take their own lives, and we desperately need to get to the bottom of what is going on and why this is happening. 
The men that are taking their own lives come from all walks of life, they live in rural areas and cities, they are young and old and they have diverse employment, socio-economic statuses and cultural backgrounds, but they do have one thing in common, and that is the inability to reach out and share their troubles with others. Turns out that the strong male stereotype is so well ingrained that most men say that they are concerned or even afraid to show their true feelings, their worries, their anxieties and their burdens with others, even their closest family members and friends. This inability to share tends to push vulnerable men into drug and alcohol abuse, gambling addictions or other unhealthy outlets to try and cope with their emotions. 
Essentially we have as a culture, disempowered our men to talk about themselves and their problems. Men are struggling to allow themselves to be vulnerable for fear of being singled out as weak; the pull to be an 'Aussie bloke' who can shoulder any responsibility has overridden men's ability to adopt introspection and let their guard down, and the results of this are just catastrophic.
So what can we do about it? First and foremostly, we have to acknowledge that what we are doing isn't working and that we need to make some serious changes to the way that we deal with men and their health and wellbeing issues. Organisation like Gotcha4Life and Movember are supporting programs directed specifically at men and agree that the approach needs to be different. Empowering and encouraging men to have deeper conversations about what is going on with them when they experience a crisis in their lives is the best place to start. We must make room for men to be in touch with the human parts of themselves, which means that they need the space to share, cry, mourn and feel weak from time to time without the fear of negative judgement.
We need to stop telling blokes to harden up or man up and we need to be better listeners and show support and understanding. We need to educate ourselves about men and their unique set of challenges and the heavy unspoken expectations that are placed upon them from an early age. These traditions of expectation have become so ingrained in Australian culture that it is going to take time to loosen the shackles of those constraints for men, but we have to start somewhere because male suicide is on the rise not the decline in Australia. 
So start right away, tell the men in your life how much they mean to you and take more time to just sit and talk with them when you can. Allow time for them to bond with other men recreationally, and encourage them to spend time alone with other men so that they can learn to open up and share their thoughts and feelings in 'safe mate' circle of friends. Support and normalise emotional releases and remember that it is all of our responsibilities to make men feel valued, heard and supported so that they can face the challenges of their lives with dignity. Help men to understand that it is not only okay to feel weak, it is absolutely necessary sometimes, and that being an emotionless robot isn't of service to anyone.
It is time for us all to wave goodbye to the stoic Aussie male stereotype that we have all been conditioned to accept and expect for generations, because we know that we can all do a shitload better than that for our men. And I implore all men to reach out and share, because we are all here and ready to hear you and support you, and never forget that it's all gonna be okay, help is never too far away and it's totally okay to seek it out if you should need it. 

In our household, no topic is off the table when it comes to family discussions around the dinner table. This open dialogue between myself, my husband and our children has led to many interesting, sometimes awkward and often lengthy and involved banters over the years, and even though many people have raised an eyebrow in regards to how open we are about all topics in our home, I have been vigilant about instilling the values of open conversation and honesty when it comes to family exchanges. 
Because of this open dialogue around the dinner table, we have had what many people would call 'difficult' conversations with our children as they have discovered the truths and at times the ugly realities about the world, but we pride ourselves for never lying to them or hiding an unpleasant truth from them, and they have both turned out to be pretty well rounded and open minded individuals as a result of this.
​Both of my children knew the truth about their body parts, how lives are created and that some people are 'not quite right in the head' well before they even arrived at primary school. And before they left primary school they also knew about war, religion, genocide, enlightenment, rape, cults, incest, racism, paedophilia, discrimination, poverty, mental illness, hate crimes and all forms of artistic, spiritual and sexual expression. Neither of them have become unbalanced by any of this information, and neither of them now struggle to understand the complexities of the world. The truth about the world did not fuck them up or steal their innocence and they both had really normal happy childhoods. In fact, growing up they didn't have nearly as many troubles as their peers when it came to managing social situations or complicated issues and have always had a strong sense of social justice and ethical behaviour as a result of their developed global understanding. 
I worked hard to cultivate a mindset in my children 'that nothing is too big to tell, or too awkward to ask about.' And yes, it has lead to some 'hot' discussion and even some disagreements over the years (because with an open forum people will tend to debate and defend their formed opinions) but it has also meant that my children are always willing to talk to me, really talk to me. If something is going on they will always tell us about it and if something is happened that they don't understand or need clarification about, they will ask. And the conversation is still very lively around our dinner table and although we sometimes hit the hard topics, generally we share many relaxed and casual meals where the order of the day is much laughter and silliness. 
I am in no way saying that open-conversation is going to fly smoothly at everyone's dinner table, but having room for opinion and the comfort to ask questions is certainly not a bad thing to generate in any family. Being able to talk about anything, even the really tough stuff has certainly brought us closer together as a family and my kids have always been grateful for the honesty that they have received from us whilst they were in their formative years.
​I have never been able to think of a good reason to hide things from my children or to lie to them and I have never wanted to cultivate a relationship with my children that was steeped in deception or mistrust. I often wonder when I hear adults say that their children aren't ready to hear the truths about the world if it is just because they as adults aren't ready to deal with all of the ugliness themselves. All that I know for sure from my own experiences, is that nurturing a home where secrets are supported and lies necessitated will only lead to bitter resentments, disappointments and painful truths later on in life, and we all want a lot less of that for our children in the long run. 

As much as we want everything to remain somewhat logical in our lives, we do have to make peace with the reality of our lives as well, and that means that we need to be able to accept that some things just won't make any sense. In life, there will be many unanswered questions, confusing interludes, incomplete stories and unsolvable dilemmas, and that is just the tip of the iceberg, because essentially life is just one big mystery and for that reason, some parts of it are not going to make any sense at all; not even a bit. Some parts of your life will be downright frustrating and annoying and absolutely illogical and no matter how much you ponder it, it just won't make any sense. 
And there is absolutely nothing wrong with things not making sense or 'adding-up' in our lives, it should be expected a little more often if you ask me because it happens to us all from time to time. However, learning to accept that some things just won't make any sense and may not ever be properly resolved or understood can be extremely challenging for many of us. Knowing that some things just won't make sense and accepting that some things just won't make sense are not that same thing, and people get into all sorts of bother when they cannot accept when things aren't balancing out with their expectations or ideals.
We all like to imagine that our lives are pretty linear and that we have a certain amount of control over how things will play out for us. We also all get a bit excited about the prospect of a happy ending, a tidy resolution or a big box with a bow that we can pop things into and forget about until we are ready to pull them back out again; but in truth, life rarely allows for things to be that organized and logical, we just like to give ourselves the illusion that it does because it feels a shitload safer and saner than admitting that a lot of the time things just don't make any sense. 
Now I know that some people are going to disagree with me on this topic, claiming that there is always a reason for everything and that nothing just happens without there being a bigger or higher purpose to it all; and to those people I say bullshit!  You can believe whatever you want, but trust me when I tell you that not everything that happens in life occurs for a reason. A whole lot of shit that happens (and will happen to you in life) is utterly purposeless, pointless, meaningless and inconsequential, it is just stuff that happens that doesn't make sense and it doesn't need to. You don't need to fix it, you don't need to stay up late at night deconstructing it, you just have to accept it. It is that simple. Rather than adopting some privileged 'everything happens for a reason' mantra, what you really need to adopt  is the smarts to recognise what you can control in this life and what you cannot. What is worth your time and what is not and what needs fixing and what just needs to be accepted.
One of the greatest challenges that we are presented with in this life is learning to accept that some chapters in our lives have to close without any real closure at all and that no matter how many hours we may pour into some puzzles, the truth is that they were never actually made to be solved in the first place. Some things just won't make sense and nothing that we do, will ever make that truth any different and all that you have to do is accept that fact and get on with living your life. 

Sometimes we want to watch simple movies that follow a pretty linear storyline and allow us to zone out or forget about our troubles. And then other times we want to watch something challenging, deep and meaningful; something a bit grittier that we can really sink our teeth into. Sometimes I really hunger for a movie that will challenge my thinking, push me out of my comfort zone or educate me in some way. If I come away from a film with a fresh perspective or some kind of new learning about a certain topic then I feel particularly pleased with my viewing choice. 
I have heard people refer to these influential and affecting movies as 'movies that matter' but it is pretty irrelevant what title you want to give them, it is what you take away from these movies that make them genuinely important and relevant. These movies can occur in any genre, and they are the types of movies that stick with you long after the credits have stopped rolling. They are not always 5 Chilli Peppers (Hall of Fame) material because they are not always easy to watch or easy to recommend to other people to watch because in short, they are not just another movie, they are 'an experience.' And there are some exceptionally good ones out there that I believe that everyone should see at least once in their lifetime. 
Here is a list of 20 movie experiences (in no particular order) that had a profound effect on me when I saw them for the first time, and although they may not all be 5 Chilli Peppers, they are most definitely important, relevant, thought provoking and absolutely worth seeing.

1. Mother! - Challenging/ Art House/ Gritty (4.5 Chilli Peppers)
2. The White Helmets - Documentary (4 Chilli Peppers)
3. Born into Brothels - Documentary (4 Chilli Peppers) 
4. Samson and Delilah - Challenging/Drama (4 Chilli Peppers)
5. Requiem for a Dream - Gritty/ Drama (4 Chilli Peppers)
6. The Thin Red Line - War (4.5 Chilli Peppers)
7. Into the Abyss - Documentary (4 Chilli Peppers)
8. Bowling for Columbine - Documentary (4.5 Chilli Peppers) 
9. An Inconvenient Truth Pt 1 and Pt 2 - Documentary (3.5 Chilli Peppers)
10. Apocalypse Now - War (4.5 Chilli Peppers)
11. Dead Man Walking - Gritty/Crime/ Drama (4.5 Chilli Peppers)
12. The Elephant Man - Challenging/ Drama (4.5 Chilli Peppers) 
13. Melancholia - Art House (5 Chilli Peppers)
14. The Great Beauty - Foreign/ Drama (5 Chilli Peppers) 
15. A Ghost Story - Art House ( 4.5 Chilli Peppers) 
16. 20,000 Days on Earth - Art House/ Documentary (3.5 Chilli Peppers) 
17. Downfall - Foreign/ War (4 Chilli Peppers)
18. Baraka and Samsara - Documentaries (4.5 Chilli Peppers)
19. The Last Temptation of Christ - Art House (3.5 Chilli Peppers) 
20. Schindler's List - War (4.5 Chilli Peppers) 

By no means are these easy viewing choices, remember that I did say that I like to be challenged by some of my movie choices, and these are all definitely challenging on some level. However, if you haven't already made the time to see these films then I would highly recommend that you do.
Full reviews of all of the above mentioned movies can be found on their respective genre lists on Spicywatch.com (under the genre drop down tab) should you require any further information.  
And I wish you well with your 'challenging' aka 'movies that matter' viewing adventures.  

Had a much needed day out with Zoe and Seth in the city yesterday. We meandered the streets of Melbourne for hours, stopping in at some of our favourite haunts and taking in all of the sights, sounds and smells of the big city environment. Melbourne is somewhere that I love to visit regularly because it doesn't matter how many times you go, there is always something new to discover and the shopping is always fantastic.
We hit up Lush for bath bombs, Haigh's for chocolate and Daiso for some random Asian goodies because those places are an absolute must for us when we go to Melbourne, and then we headed over to Chinatown for a huge teppanyaki feast for lunch which did involve Seth getting most of an omelette tossed into his face from our very cheeky chef. It was quite amusing for us, but not so amusing for Seth who was showered in hot egg pieces that were being flung straight off the steaming teppanyaki grill at his head, but it was all just part of the fun and no real harm was done.
We ended our fabulous day out exploring the Alice in Wonderland exhibition that is currently showing at ACMI, which was a feast for the senses and a real treat for me since I am such a massive Alice in Wonderland fan. The highlight of the exhibition was definitely the Mad Hatter's Tea Party where you entered a room and sat down for a 'virtual' seat at the Hatter's table. Cakes magically appeared on plates and virtual tea poured into cups as we sat amid the butterflies in the mushroom forest. It was pretty exciting and the kids that were sitting near to us were so delighted and enthralled by the scene that it was impossible to not get swept up in the magic of it all, I mean when do you ever get to attend a real Mad Hatter's Tea Party? 
In spite of the cold, wet and blustery weather trying to keep us at bay, we all had a great day out and managed to dodge the Melbourne showers as we went about our business. Today however, has been a completely different story with the rain completely overtaking our Sunday and forcing us all indoors and close to the heater. It has probably been the wettest day of the holidays so far, but I am not complaining because a day of curling up on the couch with Netflix is never a bad day in my mind.
I have managed to binge watch a couple of TV series and watch quite a lot of movies over the break so far. I am slowly making my way through my 'to see' list, which mainly consists of long and gritty movies that I haven't got the time or the mental stamina to deal with during the term. Here's one of my favourite viewings so far these holidays, but as I said, it's long and gritty, so do see it, but only when you're in the right frame of mind to do so, it's tough going.

BEASTS OF NO NATION
Release Date: 2015
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 137 mins
A gritty war drama written, co-produced and directed by Cary Joji Fukunaga who also acted as his own cinematographer during filming. Based on the novel of the same name by Uzodinma Iweala, Beasts of No Nation comes on strong with it's striking and horrific depiction of a young boy who becomes a ruthless child soldier. 
Young Agu's Ghanaian village is torn apart when rebel and government forces begin fighting in the streets. His mother and sister flee for safety, his father and brother are murdered and Agu escapes capture by hiding in the jungle. He is found by a ruthless militia group that operate under a vicious commander (Idris Elba) and after undergoing a brutal initiation process he becomes a fully-fledged member and begins his transformation from boy to soldier. 
This is a sobering and uncompromising look at the human cost of war and the exploitation of the innocent and desperate. Idris Elba deservingly won a SAG award for his unforgettable and disturbingly good portrayal of the opportunistic sadist commander, and I am genuinely confused about why he didn't get an Oscar nomination that year as well. All of the child performances are amazingly good, especially Abraham Nii Attah who portrays Agu's transformation perfectly and was awarded the Marcello Mastroianni Award for Best Young Actor at the 72nd Venice International Film Festival. 
Beasts of No Nation is by no means an easy watch, but it is most definitely a worthy one. 
FINAL SAY: I saw terrible things....and I did terrible things. 
4 Chilli Peppers ​

I saw a list on Pinterest yesterday called 'No-Brainer Ways to Challenge Yourself Every Day' which in a way does slightly sound like an oxymoron in itself, however being me and always being keen to find new ways to improve myself, I did peruse the list and I really should've listened to my first thought about the oxymoron thing, because that was five minutes of my life that I am never going to get back again.  
I have to say, they probably should've called the list 'Shit You Should Already be Doing in Your Life: A List for Idiots' Now that may sound harsh to you, but trust me when I say that there was nothing to be gained from reading that list and there wasn't anything on that list that, if you have half a brain, you aren't already doing or attempting to do on a regular basis. 
Do we really need a list that reminds us to:
10. Cook a meal a day
11. Draw a picture
12. Read a book
13. Put down your phone and observe the world
25. Tackle chores
31. Exercise
What's next? Breathe in and out, use the toilet, have a shower at least once a day, go to bed at the end of every day? Kind of obvious stuff I would imagine. 
And what about these little chestnuts of information that none of us could live without when we are setting out to challenge ourselves:
16. Ask questions 
18. Set a goal
23. Quit a habit
30. Turn off the TV
Whaaat? Who wrote this sage advice list? The Guru Swarmie or Jesus Christ himself because this is AMAZING stuff?!?! 
But wait it gets even better, there are some suggestions that even sounded downright dangerous to me and were clearly designed for idiots that want to really push the boundaries of self challenge. Here's a couple of my favourite 'dreadful advice' tips from the list:
6. Talk with a stranger
14. Make eye contact with people you pass on the street
21. Get over a fear
22. Smile even if you're not feeling it
Number 6 and 14 are just asking for trouble in my mind, I mean is this a list on how to be misinterpreted for a stalker or is it a list on how to get one? And smile even when you're not feeling it does not sound very healthy to me. Surely that is completely counterproductive to a person's general wellbeing, mental health and emotional awareness? Just walk around smiling even if you're utterly miserable? And let's not downplay number 21 which very simply says - get over a fear, just like that, not that hard, just get over some deeply seated and probably deeply rooted fear that you have, shouldn't take very long, about as long as ohh, lets say - turning off the TV?
Don't get me wrong, I am all for challenging yourself, but the list was called 'No-Brainer' ways to Challenge Yourself Every Day, I don't really see how quitting a habit or overcoming a fear is 'No Brainer.' That is bloody far from no-brainer, and can't really placed onto a list that includes turn off the TV and read a book, can it?
​Anyway, enough of a rant. I am just genuinely tired of seeing these so called challenging/ self improvement lists everywhere that are either dumb as dog shit obvious or ridiculously unattainable. Where is the happy medium I ask? I would much rather see lists called 'self care' or 'self kindness' any day of the week, because being gentle, nurturing and kind to yourself is actually a massive and ongoing challenge that we all face, and it should always come first in my mind. Ditch the unnecessary challenges and embrace the best of yourself, I guarantee that you'll be much happier in the long run.

Finally, a little later in the year than usual, the saffron milk cap mushrooms that grow wild and freely around our property were ripe and ready for the picking. Helen and I braved the drizzle and cold and managed to fill our baskets in a very short period of time, which means that the mushroom harvest is probably about halfway through. After cleaning and trimming our bounty, we made a delicious mushroom risotto for lunch and then used my dehydrator to make a few jars of dried mushroom to use when the collection season ends. 
Basically, I will be able to eat freshly picked mushrooms everyday for about another fortnight, and then they will gone again for another 12 months, so preserving and dehydrating is kind of a must while the going is so good because it is such a brief harvesting period.
The 'paddock to plate' experiences have been a bit thin on the ground out here this year. The exceptionally dry summer supplied a lot of tomatoes, but very little else; and the very dry autumn meant that blackberry season was pretty much non existent, probably the worst that I have known since we moved here almost a decade ago.
My veggie garden is in serious need of an overhaul, which the upcoming school holidays will certainly provide, but aside from a few spindly herbs and a bit of rhubarb, garlic and kale, there isn't a lot going on. The fruit trees have all been pruned for the cold season and the few apples that we enjoyed are long gone; now the best that I can hope for is the odd lemon here and there.
It always gets really grim around winter and I always forget just how much I take the abundance of spring for granted. It is times like this that you realise how difficult life would've been for our ancestors that were relying on the spoils of the land to survive, because as much as a long summer feels like a blessing, it really does diminish a lot of your choices and the abundance of food supplies. 
I must admit that I absolutely love having the opportunity to eat things that I have grown myself and I feel quite lucky to be able to indulge in so many delicious (and free) culinary experiences out here in Enfield. Understanding what to harvest at the right times of the year, what arrives on its own with each season and how to make the most of those moments has been one of the best things that I have learnt from living out of town and having a little land to work.
​Even during the darkest days of the winter season I can always still manage to rustle up a bunch of wildflowers, some herbs for my dishes and enjoy something that I have frozen, dehydrated or pickled from another season of plenty, which is actually pretty cool. I'm not even close to be being self sufficient, but I have learnt a lot about the seasons, harvesting and preserving over the last 10 years and I certainly have a lot more respect for the food that I eat, for the land and for the work that goes into every plate of food that is produced which definitely makes you a lot more conscious about what you are putting in your piehole on a daily basis that's for sure. 

The Universal Stupa of Great Compassion in Bendigo hosted its annual Festival of Peace and Light this weekend and we were fortunate enough to join the celebrations. Well, word has clearly gotten out about how terrific last years festival was because this time the event had grown substantially, both in participation numbers and the lineup of performers.
Last time we were among a mere 100 odd visitors that had our own seats to view a few international acts and some fireworks and this year the Stupa was swamped with thousands of people. There were over 40 various performances in the afternoon, at least a dozen vegetarian food vans (tofu to die for people), merchandise vendors and of course, the precious Jade Buddha which has returned to the Stupa and created a most auspicious and important reason for Buddhists to make the pilgrimage to Bendigo this weekend. 
Because the event has ballooned to epic proportions it was a lot more difficult to see everything and this time there was more than one stage operating with different attractions happening at one time, kind of like a Buddhist Big Day Out, which did mean that you didn't get to see every performance like we did last time. Also forget seating, there was nowhere to sit unless you wanted to perch on a rock (which I happily did) and if you are a short arse like me you often couldn't see the action that was going on even if you wanted to, but it was still so much fun and definitely worth the trip to Bendigo. 
Chinese lions, drumming, various international dancers, hoop twirlers, a puppet theatre, live music and instrumental performers, singers, acrobats, didgeridoo performances, Tibetan chanting and let's not forget the spectacular sound and light extravaganza that always makes me feel like I am five years old again as I ooh and ahh in amazement as the fireworks go zipping across the sky overhead. 
The food vans this year were super impressive as well, with a massive array of extremely tasty and also healthy vegan delights. I had a particularly good shawarma with beetroot  and hummus, but the curries, felafel, rotis and other Indian fried delights also looked delicious and I don't think that anyone was struggling to find something delicious to eat. Again, it was the line up that seemed to be the biggest obstacle, but as long as you kept your cool and stayed the course, you got fed. Like all festival events, you have to expect crowds and queues and you have to make your peace with it, after all it was the Festival of Peace and Light; you can't go around abusing people and being a dick at an event like that. 
I think that the Festival of Peace and Light showcases Victoria's broad Buddhist diversity and the communities genuine interest in other cultures and religious practises. I know without a shadow of doubt that I will be returning next year, and I really look forward to watching the festival grow and expand each year. Next time I will be more prepared for a more grand experience than I was this time and I cannot wait to see what the organisers are going to bring to fold in 2019, so exciting!  

Every year around the end of Autumn and the beginning of Winter I suffer from a bit of mild depression. Not a throw myself from the nearest building kind of depression, more of a self doubting, self loathing and melancholic period that always seems to appear at the same time of the year. The darker, wetter and colder days seem to also bring with them an air of despair and uncertainty that leaves me feeling out of tune with everything and everyone. I can feel my resilience and tolerance faltering and my usually optimistic demeanor becomes somewhat surley and pessimistic. During these moments I have to fight the urge to run and hide under a blanket somewhere, far away from the world and all of it's noisy responsibilities and complications. 
It's a strange and unnamable feeling that makes me want to retreat, and stranger still is the fact that I am never really sure of what I am actually retreating from. Generally I am a bit over-emotional, super sensitive, easily angered and melodramatic at these times of the year, it's kind of like PMS on steroids and its not a lot of fun for me or the people around me. And what really gets to me about it all, is why? Why do I have these periods in my life and why are they so cyclic? 
Perhaps it is because of the crappy weather, maybe it's because of the stockpile of bills that come at this time of the year that need to be paid, maybe it's because I am just a little run down from being unwell and overwhelmed by the demands of my everyday routine, and then maybe it is actually just a combination of all of those things. Whatever the reason, I do know one thing for sure, it always and I mean always occurs around this time of the year.
Last year around this time I had a particularly difficult time with depression and I felt it more completely than I had in previous years. I had a total dark night of the soul and was actually really concerned about some of the thoughts that I was entertaining. I went to a really dark place and it lasted for way too long. I also had a massive and incredibly painful falling out with my siblings at this time last year, and they have all since become estranged to me, and maybe the hurt of that feels particularly raw at this time of the year and adds to my melancholy. However, I would be lying if I said that it was any one particular thing that made me feel the early winter blues so intensely. 
However, it is not all doom and gloom! By recognising this pattern of self doubt and inner turmoil, I have become a lot better at managing it. Through meditation and yoga practises I have learnt to curb my personal negativity and anxiety because I can now recognize what is happening a lot earlier on. I also know with great certainty that these melancholic moments are transient and fleeting and that I do not have to engage with them when they occur. I no longer need to feed and clothe my personal demons everytime that I get anxious or worried, I can just recognise them and then let them go quietly back into the night. I also recognise that everyone has times in their lives that are rife with anxiety and uncertainty and that I am not alone in my struggles and that it is all a normal part of any growth cycle to fall over every now and then. 
I can now bravely acknowledge that I do get blues from time to time, but it doesn't define who I am and that I don't have to let it take hold of me. Like a quiet passenger on the bus of life I can simply notice these feelings as I pass them by, waving farewell to them before they even get a chance to take hold of me. And that is big part of what surviving your own depression and dark thoughts is like really. You know that these times and thoughts are going to come around every now and again, but like negative people that are hard to have around, you just have to choose to not engage them.
Sometimes that requires a lot of strength, a lot more than you think that you can muster up, but essentially you can. You really can, in spite of whatever your head may be telling you, and just as winter arrives every year, so too does summer and the most powerful thing to remember to help you to get yourself out of a funk like this is that nothing ever lasts forever. It's all transient and it's all fleeting, and you don't have to stay in the moment any longer then you choose to, you can let go at any time, at any moment, just let it pass you by. 

It is always around Earth Day that our attention is drawn to our impact on the environment and our carbon footprint. No-one wants to be responsible for fucking the planet up for future generations, but on some level many of us actually are. After taking a quiz about my carbon footprint on the Earth Day website this morning I was horrified to learn that if everyone lived the same way the I do than we would need 4 Earths to deal with the impact that I am making! Woah, heavy! And I always thought that I was trying harder than the average bear when it comes to being ecological! Clearly, I am not doing nearly enough and the whole thing made me feel absolutely dreadful and completely guilt ridden, but I think that we all probably need a really good kick up the arse when it comes to our personal levels of environmental awareness, because being environmentally sound clearly takes a lot more effort and attention than most of us actually giving it. 
It is very easy to forget about our impact on the environment, and most of the time we don't even consider it at all. We allow ourselves to believe that someone who is far more passionate about environmental issues than we are is already out there fighting the good fight for us. This rather ridiculous belief allows us to become extremely flippant and lazy when it comes to being personally responsible for the environment, and for the most part dreadfully irresponsible. 
It is only in the last few years that I have really started to become more aware of my global footprint. I have made a concerted effort to try and be more eco-friendly and globally conscious. For example, we have installed solar panels on our home, we grow our own produce, we do errands and shop whilst we are in town to save on fuel consumption, we don't use plastic bags, we compost all of our green waste and we are avid recyclers. However, although we have made some positive changes, we are still not doing enough and with 4 Earths hanging over our heads, we need to do a hell of a lot more! 
In fact, Australia has one of the worst global footprints per capita than most of the world. We may have incredible beaches and an awesome lifestyle, but that all feels pretty shithouse when you realise that we are actually fucking up the globe by being dreadful unecological and environmentally unaware. The average global footprint per person in Australia is actually 4.8 Earths, which is something that we really need to do something about, and I do believe that awareness is key when it comes to change. 
The good news is that there are simple ways that each of us can reduce our global impact immediately, and they don't need to be huge changes, just small consistent ones. Here are some simple ways that you can reduce your carbon footprint and start to make a difference:

• Ride, walk, take public transport or carpool whenever you can.
• Don't speed when you drive! Speeding and unneccessary acceleration increase your mileage by up to 33% which wastes fuel and money. 
• Drive an eco-friendly car.
• If you must fly, always fly economy, it works like carpooling by sharing the emissions.
• Insulate your home and windows and only buy appliances with high ENERGY STAR ratings. 
• Turn off lights and appliances that are not being used, and only use LED or compact fluorescent globes. 
• Keep your heating temperature set to 21 degrees celsius or below and grab a blanket if you're still cold. 
• Install solar panels on your house.
• Eat locally sourced organic produce or better still grow your own!
• Eat less meat and if possible eat none. 
• Install water saving devices on showers, toilets and appliances like washing machines and dishwashers. 
• Never use plastic bags and become an avid recycler. 
• Start composting.
• Use grey water on gardens and only planet climate appropriate vegetation on your property.

Small changes are a great way to start, and doing things a little a lot of the time is the best way to make significant changes for the better. We really do need to be more personally responsible about doing more for our environment. Look around you, it's a wonderful place this world of ours. So precious and beautiful and obviously completely fragile, and each of us is having our own impact on that, an impact that we all need to be personally responsible for. Make one small change right now and help to reduce your global impact today because none of us can afford to pretend that what we do doesn't make a difference. 

Time and tide wait for no man is a phrase that originated way back in 1225 and even predates modern English, however it is no less meaningful today than it was back then. For never has a truer word been uttered that we can all relate to so completely than those few simple words that highlight our own mortality and the relentless passing of time.
No-one is powerful enough to stop the marching of time, and in spite of all of the things in our lives that we do have the power to control, time has never and will never be one of those things. One day you wake up, look in the mirror and barely recognise yourself anymore. A moment from a decade ago seems like it occurred only a year ago, your parents have entered the realms of the elderly and your children are no longer children at all; and you ask yourself, where the hell did all of those years go? 
The days just seem to go faster and faster every year. I start another school year and suddenly Easter has come and gone without me even coming up for air and all of the things that I had planned to have done by this point in the year are not even close to being completed. Has someone tipped the world into overdrive? It feels like it wasn't that long ago that I was planning my fortieth birthday holiday, or sending my son off to primary school or teaching my daughter to read for goodness sake! If the next forty years of my life go anywhere near as fast as the last forty did then I am going to need to not sleep at all in order to fit everything in that I would like to do.
I suppose that no matter how long you get in this life, you just never feel like you have enough time. Every time that you take a holiday or embark on a new task, you feel like you have forever to indulge it, and then before you know it, that time has somehow gone, just gone without you even realising where it all went to. It is the weirdest thing really, because we all want the time to go slower, and yet we fill our lives to the very brim with activity, essentially making everything speed up exponentially, making it impossible for time to slow down anyway. And perhaps that is what keeps us alive after all, the longing to live and be vital and busy in some way, and if we just stopped doing things then we would lose our lust for life and not want it to go on forever at all. 
I spent some time with my folks these school holidays, and I just marvel at how motivated and resourceful they are. My father is in his 80's and my mother is in her late 70's and they have been retired for years now, but they still keep themselves busy volunteering at local charities, tinkering with antiques clocks and knick knacks and working in the garden. Their garden always looks terrific and they spend entire days in the kitchen together cooking up thrifty old school recipes, pickling, making jams and preserves and making breads and cakes from scratch. They seem really content and happy doing these things and their days are generally full and busy, and they too feel like time is passing them by way too swiftly. I suppose that they would be feeling the passage of time in a way that I cannot possibly fathom just yet, because they also know that they don't have another 40 years to get the things done that they may have wanted to do and I wonder how genuinely difficult the twilight years of your life must be for that very reason. 
However, my parents do not appear to be bothered about aging and they never complain about being old either. Everyday, they say, is a gift to them now and they just live one day at a time, enjoying what they have cultivated together over the years. My in-laws say pretty much the same thing as well, and they too are in the same vintage as my parents, and they seem very content with their lives as well and do not appear to be at all worried about not having enough time. 
So I suppose that it is wise to listen to your elders and take a leaf from their book on getting older, and essentially it really shouldn't matter. Just take it one day at time, do what you can and love what you do and don't worry about running out of time. Let the time pass you by gracefully and slowly but surely cultivate the life that you want so that when you get into your own twilight years, you too can just sit back and enjoy what you have created for yourself.

Sometimes in my life it can really feel like I travel two steps forward and then one step back again. I suppose that everyone feels like that from time to time. Sometimes I feel an overwhelming sense of that in every aspect of my life and I have to try really hard to not let these small setbacks make me feel deflated. Things will happen, stuff won't always work out and some of the best laid plans will turn into total horse shit.
The biggest problem with this reality is that I am the sort of person that likes to feel that I am constantly moving forward in life, and it just kills me if I think that I am not. And even though I have an excellent understanding of the fact that no-one, no matter how much they may appear to have their shit together, is ever really continually moving forwards, it is just accepting that fact that is the hardest thing for me.
Standing still or moving backwards are not really terms that ignite excitement in me, generally they have the opposite effect. However, I have discovered that when I find myself in these predicaments, as one does from time to time, that there are things that can be done to make the process a lot less agonising and in fact, even quite enjoyable!
Firstly and above all else, the best thing to do when things go wrong is to take stock of the situation and make an assessment. An assessment that is not based on how far you still have to go, but more on how far you have already come. This is where keeping a daily journal really comes into its own, because when you flick back over a six, or even better twelve month period of your life, and you see just how much you've accomplished and grown, you won't feel deflated or setback for very long. It is so very easy to focus on the negative side of things in life when you face a minor setback, much easier than seeing the good things, but when you can actually see it on the page in front of you, it is very hard to deny your own personal growth. 
And that is the other thing, just because you are being forced to stand still with your progression on something for a while, that doesn't mean that you have ceased to grow altogether. In fact a lull in giant leaps forward are actually an extremely valuable opportunity to really observe the bigger picture, to make sure that you are still on the right track and to make any necessary adjustments before continuing on. When you look at it like that, a step backwards can almost seem like a much needed hiatus and a golden opportunity to uncover a brand new learning or way of doing things. 
​And if I still feel like crap about a setback after all of that, then I like to console and remind myself that I am only human, that is totally okay to make mistakes and get things wrong and that doing dumb shit every now and again is probably good for my soul anyway. Trying too hard to get it all right all of the time is just plain exhausting and I don't want to walk around with the weight of an elephant on my shoulders. I would rather just learn to find the sage in my setbacks, the reason behind my mistakes and the calm in the chaos, because two steps forward and one step back is still one step forward when you really think about it, and I am am happy to take it all just one step at a time anyway. 

In society today, both men and women face different pressures and expectations in regards to how they perform and conduct themselves. Sometimes we can rise to these societal expectations and sometimes we cannot, and although there is no written text outlining these expectations, they very much exist in our communities, our society and even in many of our homes. We all silently and obediently comply to these unspoken 'norms' everyday, but I wonder, should we?
Don't get me wrong here, I am not questioning our social expectations in the hope of creating a societal misconstruct or a revolution, because I do understand full well that we do need certain boundaries and expectations to operate as a well functioning and safe society. What I am saying however, is that some of the expectations, in particular those around gender roles, that are continually thrust upon us, are really not that reasonable or forward thinking, and yet we still willingly adhere and conform to them anyway.  
For women, I think that one of the biggest and most incorrect presumptions that society has is the belief that they are all nurturing and have the potential to be great mothers. Anyone with half a brain in their head knows that this is absolute malarkey; however, even though we know that this is not true, the pressures that society places upon women to conform to this unspoken norm are ridiculously high.
When society views what they believe to be a mother that isn't maternal, motherly or nurturing, they instantly shun her. She is usually viewed as weak, unfeminine and generally a pretty lousy person. No point denying it, it's true, I've heard vicious women picking their teeth with the bones of 'not very good' mothers in school car parks, after school sporting activities and mothers groups; and I would feel more comfortable with the vultures on the savannah to be honest. 
We can forgive women for many things, but as a society we are very unforgiving when it comes to motherhood, and in spite of all of our forward thinking, society still judges women that do not take to motherhood naturally very harshly. They are often branded with labels like 'bad' mother or called pathetic, dramatic and selfish. Women are probably the number one perpetrators of hate against un-maternal and un-nurturing women, and there is a frightening amount of pressure to conform when you become a mother. So much so, that a lot of women just crack under the pressure , and understandably so, it's bloody hard work! Not just being a decent enough mother to not get labelled 'bad' but also actually wrangling children, which at times is a dreadfully un-enjoyable business (just don't tell the other mothers that I said that). 
However, it is not just women that have unrealistic expectations thrust upon them, men get more than their fair share as well. For men, I think that society fails most when it comes to the expectation that men are to be strong, brave and ambitious. Again, what a load of horse shit! Many men that I know are none of those things, and they are really lovely terrific guys, but they do feel pressured by society to conform to expectations all of the time. 
From the time that boys are born, they are told to 'suck it up' and harden up. They are bombarded with media images of strong, smart, successful, brave and adventurous male icons that they are supposed to live up to and if they show too much emotion they are seen as weak and pathetic and sometimes called a sissy or god forbid, a girl. Young men feel like they need to constantly jostle for rank in order to be respected and fear being emasculated by their peers from as young as pre-school, and then we wonder why they become shut down men that are not in touch of their emotions later in life. Again, society says that it is forward thinking, but in some cases we are positively archaic in when it comes to gender stereotyping and expectation. 
Sure we are making progress, but we really aren't there yet, and it is going to require the support of everyone in our communities to change these harmful and unreasonable expectations that we place upon ourselves and those around us, because these old ways are not serving us any longer. The next time that you almost call some woman a 'bad' mother or some guy a 'pussy' think again about whether you are helping or hindering a solution to the problems that we are all facing when it comes to gender expectations and social support. Choose to not label, choose to investigate the whys. Be a pro-active member of your community and start questioning the expectations that you place upon others, and whether you need to do that anymore. 

I recently read an article called 100 Life Changing Habits on Strangecharmed.com which was all about eradicating bad lifestyle habits and creating new healthier ones. Basically it was an extensive to do list that was broken down into these 10 categories: 
Health, relationships, personal development, spirituality, productivity, career, hobbies, organization, community and charity and money and finance.  There were lots of useful tips and generally good advice about getting the most out of your life and finding ways to live an abundant, happy and mindful lifestyle.  I was pretty chuffed when I read through the list to be honest, because I actually had quite a lot of the suggestions well and truly under control. So yeah, I got to feel good about the fact that after almost 44 years on the planet that I have actually got some of my shit pretty much together; not perfectly together, but pretty much together. 
There were a number of things that I most definitely do not have under control though, two in particular that caught my eye were these little chestnuts that were listed directly next to each other under the heading - personal development:
Say YES to experiences that scare you.
Say NO to experiences that do not serve you.
Hmmm....easier said than done there sensai! I do constantly say yes to horror movies, does that count for things that scare me? Probably not because most of it doesn't really scare me at all! Seriously though, I do know exactly what they really mean when they say 'things that scare you,' they mean getting out of your comfort zone and doing things that make you feel uncomfortable and I absolutely DO NOT have that down, but I have improved, a little. Especially this year because I have been well and truly outside of my comfort zone for the better part of the year and quite a bit of last year as well. However, I would be bullshitting if I said 'I got this' - 'cos I really don't got this! 
Also, I am only just learning to say no to things that do not serve me, because I definitely still allow my sense of obligation to dictate some of the things that I do. I am getting better at setting boundaries for myself, but again...I do not have this yet. Saying no is actually really difficult to do, well it is for me anyway. I often put my own needs and wellbeing on the backburner to accommodate for others, and it is a really stupid thing to do. Sometimes, I will just go and go until I literally run myself ragged or explode like some insane person over the littlest thing. I would really like to learn to say no to people without feeling guilty about it and without worrying about offending them. I hate that we are all so programmed to please that we are often afraid to set very reasonable and sensible boundaries for ourselves and others in our lives.  It is definitely something that I am going to try and make more of an effort to master, the freedom to put myself first and to sometimes say no. 
I really do doubt that anyone would be able to read all 100 points on the 100 Life Changing Habits list and go, yep I got all that down, but if there is someone out there that can, well....all power to you! It takes a lot of guts and determination to be that in control of your life and wellbeing, and it is definitely something that I truly aspire to achieve for myself someday.
For now however I am just satisfied with having the guts to identify my strengths and weaknesses and the balls to own them as well, not as massive as the achievements of others, but not a complete trainwreck either which I am all good with. You gotta love the life you're living!