The final days of summer are upon us, and though we should be enjoying the last days of light joyously, for many the reality of this time of the year is something altogether quite different. People are starting to show early signs of fatigue as the Christmas holiday period fades into the backgrounds of our lives once again. The daily 'grind' becomes the norm, temperatures are ridiculously inconsistent with very little sign of rain and the misty mornings of early autumn have already arrived. What is still alive in my vegetable garden is hanging limply, our water tank is bone dry and the gale force winds blow everything off our deck every other day. One can easily lose sight of the bigger picture at this point of the year; but not me!
March is always one of my most favourite months of the year. There is always something to celebrate on every, single, weekend in March. With the thought of autumn looming, people get super outdoorsy all over again in pursuit of their final days in the sun, which means that my events calendar is always chock-a-block. Add to that a long weekend, an upcoming Easter and for me, two weeks of school holidays and woohoo! You have got the making of one of the best months of the whole year. 
I really enjoy autumn as a season, especially out here in Enfield. Autumn out here means blackberry and apple picking and also mushroom foraging. Bush walking is at its best out here in the autumn, because there is far less risk of snakes and heat stroke. We always have plenty of water on the dam for the our resident ducks in the autumn time and the garden gets some much needed moisture from the heavens. The threat of bushfire is gone, and although the days get slightly shorter, you appreciate them all the more because you know that the days are also growing darker and that soon the sun will no longer hang around in the sky for many hours a day. 
March in Ballarat is particularly good I think. The Begonia Festival, The Golden Plains Arts Trail and White Night are all on and free to access; but there are also heaps of other things that I love about March as well, like the Academy Awards Ceremony (duh!), International Women's Day, World Harmony Day, Solitude Day and this year Good Friday and Easter Saturday as well. Loads to look forward to, and I get to have my birthday in there as well. Yep, for me March is one of the best months of the year, so it is without any sadness at all that I say farewell to another summer in my life and welcome a new season with much enthusiasm and excitement, because there are so many more wonderful days ahead to be enjoyed! 

MUDBOUND 
Release Date: 2017
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 134 mins
An American period drama directed by Dee Rees and based on the novel of the same name by Hillary Jordan.  After premiering at the 2017 Sundance Film Festival, Mudbound was released on Netflix and deservingly earned four nominations at the 90th Academy Awards due its excellent depiction of rural American history.
Two men return to their poverty stricken farming homes in Mississippi after serving their country overseas during WW2. They struggle greatly to re-adjust to a rural lifestyle after the war, especially in a small town filled with racism and discrimination. 
Mudbound is an exceptionally powerful post-war movie. The storyline is completely believable, the cast is exceptionally strong and the struggles of the characters are deeply affecting. I was riveted for the entirety of this movie and was really impressed by the onscreen efforts of Carey Mulligan, Jason Mitchell, Mary J. Blige, Jonathan Banks and Garrett Hedlund. This film deserves to get a lot more attention, it is worth making the time to see it. 
FINAL SAY: I love them all equally. Every mother does. 
​4 Chilli Peppers ​

Anyone that says that G rated movies are just for kids is an absolute frickin' idiot! Especially given the exceptionally high quality of children's movies that have been released over the last five years in particular. The standard and quality of children's cinema has really come a very long way from when I was a kid, and thank God for that because some of the bullshit media propaganda that we were subliminally subjected to as children was downright ridiculous and would never be tolerated by today's standards. 
There were depictions of sexual harassment, racism, homophobia, discrimination and violence in seemingly innocent cartoons from Warner Bros. Looney Tunes and Merrie Melodies that I can recall seeing as a child. Some television programs that I watched regularly as a child like Sesame Street, The Smurfs, Scooby Doo, Captain Planet and even The Muppets have all now been cited as having inappropriate or biased undertones which are thankfully no longer permissible in children's television. 
When you are a kid, you really aren't aware of the subtle undertones or subliminal messaging that you are being fed through seemingly innocent mediums, but as you get older and reflect back, you realise just how much of it that you were actually seeing and taking in on a daily basis and it is quite a disturbing realisation. 
​I know that when I was a girl, all of the Disney princesses were always saved by some kind of Prince Charming character and they all had incredible hair, svelte figures and immaculate grooming. Not one of them was ever capable of avoiding what appeared to be pretty obvious danger in my mind and none of them had the minerals to ever save themselves without male intervention. Generally, all the young female characters were damsels in distress and the older female characters were portrayed as evil witches, cruel stepmothers or rotund and ditzy nanna/ fairy godmother types. The heroes of the stories were always muscular male role models and after they swept in and rescued said 'damsels in distress'  they would promptly marry them and then it was expected that life would go forth happily ever after - END OF STORY.
People often argue that the Disney Princesses Belle and Mulan broke those stereotypical molds for Disney, but I wonder, did they really? I mean lets be honest, Belle had a raging case of Stockholm Syndrome and Mulan had to dress up like a man to be taken seriously, that is not exactly ideal now is it? Sure they were making improvements, but it was not until more recent years that a shift in gender stereotyping really came about.
Disney and Pixar alike have truly cleaned up their act and shifted their 'Princess' focus to more of a 'family bond' focus in recent years and it has been a very welcomed change. Now instead of the worn out and archaic 'Damsel in Distress' trope, we see more self empowered female lead roles in children's cinema. The hero is now often the heroine and the focus on self esteem, self awareness, family values and environmental issues has become far more prevalent. 
It is has now, more than ever before, become completely unfair to say that G rated movies are just for kids, because the standards of storyline, animation and character development in G rated movies is now higher than it has ever been in the past. Children's films really do deserve to get more attention and producers should be praised for their diligence in attempting to teach children about the more important and relevant issues of our current condition rather than just ensuring that the hottie gets to the ball on time to dance with the prince. 

COCO
Release Date: 2017
Rating: G
Running Time: 109 mins 
It seems that the Pixar/ Disney combo cannot put a foot wrong lately and Coco is another fine example of their terrific storytelling abilities and perfectly honed animation skills. Wisely released in Mexico the weekend before Dia de Los Muertos, Coco swiftly became the highest grossing film in Mexico and since then it has continued to receive worldwide praise and award accolades. 
12 year old Miguel's family owns a shoemaking business that has been passed down through the generations. Ever since grandma Coco's father abandoned her and her mother to pursue a musical career, the family have had a strict no music policy and an expectation that all generations will make shoes. However, secretly budding musician Miguel is desperate to enter the local Day of the Dead talent show and is willing to go against his family's wishes to do so, even is it means stealing a guitar from his musical hero Ernesto's mausoleum. By stealing from the dead, Miguel discovers that he has placed a curse upon himself which must be broken by sunrise to be undone. 
This is a heart warming family tale about remembering those that we have lost and treasuring our memories of them. I am a huge sucker for all things Mexican, especially anything to with Dias de Los Muertos, so I just adored this movie and thought that it was a moving and passionate tribute to Mexican culture and their incredible family bonds, both here and in the afterlife. 
FINAL SAY: Never forget how much your family cares for you. 
4 Chilli Peppers ​

There is a line in the song Everybody's Free (to Wear Sunscreen) that says - Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly. I have been thinking a lot about that line lately, not because I read beauty magazines because I most certainly do not, but I have really been paying a lot of attention lately to the incredible job that advertising campaigns, the media and the money making 'fat cat' corporations of the world do when it comes to making us regular people feel like we are not enough.
The constant barrage of subliminal and non-subliminal messaging that we are bombarded with on a daily basis is just astronomical, and they all seem to be aimed at making us all believe that we are not conforming, not cutting it or that we are just not very good looking. And, it is not surprising to know, that these constant attempts to make us feel lousy about ourselves have been extremely effective, because not only are we (the consumers) buying more beauty, fitness and diet products than ever before, we also have far lower levels of self confidence about the way that we look and the way that we generally feel about ourselves as well. 
Once you step onto the treadmill of media-fed fear and self loathing, it is a never ending cycle of ugliness. You will catch yourself saying horrible things to yourself like: I am too fat, I need to change, why don't I look like the women in the magazines?....blah ....blah ....blah....and boom, they have won, they have got inside of your head and they have won. They have got you self doubting and not really liking yourself very much anymore, and once that begins, so do the attempts at 'fixing' yourself, and that is damn good for business but not so good for you. 
The path of self improvement is paved with good intentions but so very often it just lines the pockets of very bad people. There is more than one reason that models in beauty magazines are so thin, and it doesn't have a lot to do with looking good, because a lot of them don't really look that good at all in real life, it has everything to do with creating an unattainable and unrealistic ideal that will force us consumers to keep on spending and pushing in some mad pursuit of an unattainable goal. We actually buy in to the idea that some photoshopped, emaciated, plastic surgery victim looks amazing, because we have been programmed to think that fake bodies look great. We sucker ourselves into thinking that being wafer thin, fat lipped, big titted or getting a washboard stomach will complete us and make us more satisfied, and so we spend money willingly to do it. Beauty has become so sad and so removed from reality; and every day more and more people buy into it's glossy and fraudulent ideal. 
And when people can't attain these unrealistic goals, what do they do? Well, they just keep on spending! They spend on binge food, or comfort food or a therapist to try and rebuild their smashed self esteem, but the bottom line is that they spend. And that is all that any of this is about really, money. Beauty magazines, advertisements, campaigns, the media in general, they are all constantly pushing you to reach for your wallet or purse so that you can be more, be better, have more and look amazing. You never see any of them saying, you are perfect just as you are or you don't need to change a thing or you don't need to be any more than you already are; uh of course you don't, that shit doesn't sell! 
I guess what I am trying to say is that yes, beauty magazines will only make you feel ugly, but so will a lot of other things and some people as well, and you have to stand tall against it. Don't let the fat cats win, be true to yourself, love who you are and never believe that anyone in a beauty magazine really looks that amazing in real life; well not every day anyway.
Ignore the haters, enjoy your body, eat well and don't feel like you need to buy anything to be better than you already are. No product can ever replace your own peace of mind or your sense of self worth and you should never sacrifice believing that you are perfect just as you are for any fad, fetish or fanatical behaviour that the media can try and entice you with.
Just be you and be perfectly free, that's about as beautiful as anything can ever get in my mind. 

Celebrated the Chinese New Year (Year of the Dog) with Craig, Zoe, Seth, Helen and one of Seth's friends yesterday. We went over to the Gold Museum in Ballarat to see an exhibition entitled Awaken The Dragon, which boasted the oldest Chinese Dragon and Chinese Lion in the world amongst its displays, and since it is only in town until April, Chinese New Year seemed like the most appropriate and auspicious time to go and see the display. We then went out for a huge Chinese feast at a local Chinese restaurant, followed by Chinese movies and fortune cookies at Enfield. We watched The Mermaid and Big Trouble in Little China, which has become something of a cult classic in our home and is always watched with much cheering, hilarity and carry on every time we see it. I think I fell into bed around 1 am feeling very tired and satisfied with the day's celebrations, which was a welcomed distraction from going to the cinema for me at the moment. 
With less than a month until the 90th Academy Awards Ceremony, the cinemas in Ballarat are currently flooded with excellent, high quality movies. The downside of this is that we always get most of the Oscar nominated movies later than everyone else and pretty much all of them at the same time. This means that if you are serious about seeing the nominated films before the envelopes are opened on the night (like I am), then you have to be willing to go to the movies at least once a week beforehand. There are nine movies in the running for Best Motion Picture this year, and I have only made it to see five of them so far and I'm fairly certain that I won't make it to see all of them beforehand now. 
For those of you that are not familiar with the line up yet, these are the nominations for Best Motion Picture at this years Academy Awards:
The Shape of Water
Darkest Hour
Dunkirk
Phantom Thread
Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri
Get Out
The Post
Call Me By Your Name
Lady Bird
Having not seen all of them, it is difficult to discern who will win, but I think either Three Billboards or Call Me By Your Name, but it is impossible to say for sure and I often disagree with the Academy's decision anyway. Regardless of the win, the nominated movies are always excellent and worthy watches and I will get around to seeing them all eventually, as I do with every other years nominated films as well. 
It is great to see that some fantasy, science fiction and horror/ thriller movies are getting nominated, however it is pretty safe to say that the Academy will always give the Best Picture award to a drama movie. People still don't really take fantasy, science fiction and horror/thriller genres that seriously, and I can understand why, a lot of it is total shit; but some of it is absolute gold as well and it often sadly gets overlooked. 
The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King was the first fantasy movie to ever win the Best Motion Picture Oscar and no Science fiction movie has ever won it yet. The Silence of the Lambs was the first and only horror/thriller to win it in 1992, but since then, no horror movie has made it past a nomination. Pretty biased I think, but drama is more accessible for most people I suppose. Still though, I would die if they ever stopped making science fiction, fantasy or horror movies because they are three of my favourite genres to watch. 
Every year there is at least one movie that I find completely overrated that gets nominated for the Best Motion Picture Oscar that I think just isn't as good as the other nominations. So far this year, shockingly because I really wanted to love this movie, it is Lady Bird. Again, not a bad movie, but I do question its Oscar nomination when it was only a 3 Chilli Pepper movie for me. This is where the great injustices really come to the forefront for fantasy, horror and science fiction, because IT, A Ghost Story, Mother! and Blade Runner 2049 were all far better films than Lady Bird and yet they didn't even didn't get a look in. I really do think that the Academy needs an overhaul, but I know that millions of people have been saying this same thing for years now and nothing has ever changed, unfortunately, the dramas always get all of the attention. 

LADYBIRD
Release Date: 2017
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 95 mins 
​A coming of age, indy drama, written and directed by Greta Gerwig, the only female director to have her film in the running for an Oscar in 2017. With a believable, original and witty dialogue, Lady Bird swings between amusing and awkward, revealing a strong and strange relationship between a strict mother and her flamboyant daughter. 
Self named Lady Bird (Saoirse Ronan) is navigating her way through her final year at high school, but trying to work out boys, friendships and which college to apply for is continually made all the more difficult under the watchful and scrutinizing eyes of her head strong mother (Laurie Metcalf). 
I really wanted to love this movie, and perhaps I would have if all of the humour wasn't revealed in the preview and everyone hadn't hyped it up so much. It is a good film, but it didn't feel all that original to me. I have seen a lot of coming of age movies now, and Lady Bird did not bring anything new to the table for me.
Ronan and Metcalf are terrific together and the acting is definitely a strength here, as is the witty realistic dialogue, but for an Oscar nominated movie, this fell short for me. Most of the writing is on the wall with this film, the character of Lady Bird is at times annoyingly pretentious and there are no real surprises. The overall outcomes were very predictable. 
FINAL SAY: I gave it to myself. It is given to me by me.
3 Chilli Peppers

I recently read an article called 100 Life Changing Habits on Strangecharmed.com which was all about eradicating bad lifestyle habits and creating new healthier ones. Basically it was an extensive to do list that was broken down into these 10 categories: 
Health, relationships, personal development, spirituality, productivity, career, hobbies, organization, community and charity and money and finance.  There were lots of useful tips and generally good advice about getting the most out of your life and finding ways to live an abundant, happy and mindful lifestyle.  I was pretty chuffed when I read through the list to be honest, because I actually had quite a lot of the suggestions well and truly under control. So yeah, I got to feel good about the fact that after almost 44 years on the planet that I have actually got some of my shit pretty much together; not perfectly together, but pretty much together. 
There were a number of things that I most definitely do not have under control though, two in particular that caught my eye were these little chestnuts that were listed directly next to each other under the heading - personal development:
Say YES to experiences that scare you.
Say NO to experiences that do not serve you.
Hmmm....easier said than done there sensai! I do constantly say yes to horror movies, does that count for things that scare me? Probably not because most of it doesn't really scare me at all! Seriously though, I do know exactly what they really mean when they say 'things that scare you,' they mean getting out of your comfort zone and doing things that make you feel uncomfortable and I absolutely DO NOT have that down, but I have improved, a little. Especially this year because I have been well and truly outside of my comfort zone for the better part of the year and quite a bit of last year as well. However, I would be bullshitting if I said 'I got this' - 'cos I really don't got this! 
Also, I am only just learning to say no to things that do not serve me, because I definitely still allow my sense of obligation to dictate some of the things that I do. I am getting better at setting boundaries for myself, but again...I do not have this yet. Saying no is actually really difficult to do, well it is for me anyway. I often put my own needs and wellbeing on the backburner to accommodate for others, and it is a really stupid thing to do. Sometimes, I will just go and go until I literally run myself ragged or explode like some insane person over the littlest thing. I would really like to learn to say no to people without feeling guilty about it and without worrying about offending them. I hate that we are all so programmed to please that we are often afraid to set very reasonable and sensible boundaries for ourselves and others in our lives.  It is definitely something that I am going to try and make more of an effort to master, the freedom to put myself first and to sometimes say no. 
I really do doubt that anyone would be able to read all 100 points on the 100 Life Changing Habits list and go, yep I got all that down, but if there is someone out there that can, well....all power to you! It takes a lot of guts and determination to be that in control of your life and wellbeing, and it is definitely something that I truly aspire to achieve for myself someday.
For now however I am just satisfied with having the guts to identify my strengths and weaknesses and the balls to own them as well, not as massive as the achievements of others, but not a complete trainwreck either which I am all good with. You gotta love the life you're living!

Seth is currently completely obsessed with the 'Tiny House' movement. He relentlessly tries to convince Craig and I that we should be downsizing and opting to live in a tiny house. Craig tells him that we did once live in a tiny house when we bought our first home, and that it was cramped and that he has just forgotten what that felt like because he was tiny himself back then. Our first house was definitely not a tiny house, however in comparison to where we live now it would seem small. We did have to renovate the crap out of our first home to make it larger and more accomodating for our expanding family needs, and even after we had stretched it to its absolute limits, it just wasn't big enough for our family anymore. However, that doesn't mean that we won't need to downsize sometime in the future, but Seth wants to live in a tiny house right now. 
Now I don't want to deter my son's ambitions to be more environmentally sound and eco-friendly, but there are a few obvious problems with Seth wanting to live in a tiny house in the future, the first being his size. Seth is clearly going to be  bear-man when (or if) he ever stops growing. My side of the family is known for being a sturdy bunch and Craig's side is all height, put those two body types together and add a lot of man hair to that, and you have something that resembles a bear on its hind legs. He is already way taller than me now and he is only 13. These proportions are going to present more than their fair share of problems for Seth in a tiny house, but this has not deterred him. 
The other problem with Seth's tiny house concept is where his tiny house will live, which I can answer immediately, our backyard! I have visions of Seth squeezing himself onto a tiny porch every night in our backyard to go to bed, which in reality will not be downsizing at all, it will be expanding. There is more than enough space here for him in the house, adding another tiny house to our land will not be downsizing! I see the logic in this, unfortunately he does not.
If it was mobile and he could travel with it, that I could understand but to build another smaller house off the size of our already adequate house seems ridiculous to me.
I think that he may just be attracted to the idea of a glorified cubby or tree house if I am being honest about it. As a small child Seth loved to make blanket forts and would hide away for hours under a blanket tossed over a clothes horse or sit in a one man tent with Zoe listening to stories. He has always loved confined spaces and we spent hours extracting from him from under tables and things that he had got himself stuck in as a child, and maybe that longing for small spaces has just never gone away for him. 
I do totally concur with him on the carbon footprint thing though, a tiny house is so much better for the environment and so much cheaper to manage overall, but I would be lying if I said that I didn't love the amount of space that we have out here and that I have grown quite accustomed to a palatial lifestyle. However, in growing accustomed to certain privileges, one must also be responsible for them and Craig and I are both really serious about our impact on the environment. We have put in solar panels as a means of generating green energy and reducing our footprint out here and we do recycle diligently and compost all of our green waste which goes back into feeding our own vegetable patch and garden beds. We use tank water 95% of the time and use grey water on gardens where we can. We reuse everything, only buy or replace things when it absolutely necessary and we never waste food or other precious resources. But who knows, maybe in the future there will be ways to be even more environmentally friendly without having to compromise on life's luxuries or the feeling of having space. I know that I would certainly be all over that. 

The days appear to be stretching out before me lately, and like well worked dough, I can feel myself spreading out over more and more hours of the day. I'm unsure how, but the days do genuinely seem to be getting longer at both ends. I have even started to accidentally double book myself in for appointments and meetings which is always a telltale sign that I'm probably pushing a little too much into my day, but it just cannot be helped. I have a lot of living to do, and I will be damned if I will limit myself or my experiences just to grab a couple of extra hours of sleep!
​For those of you that already know me, you will be well aware that I am a lady who likes to get up early and also stay up late.  My average week day begins at 5.45am and rarely ends before 11.30pm. On weekends I often sleep in until 8.30pm but will then stay up until 2am or later that evening, especially if I am on a movie watching binge. I suppose that I am actually very lucky to be able to get away with an average of six hours of sleep a night and still feel pretty terrific most of the time. 
I am so conditioned to sleeping less hours at night, that I generally feel quite horrid when I sleep more than eight hours these days, not to mention the amount of anguish that I feel about all of the things that I could've squeezed into that time that I just wasted sleeping! I need all 18 of my waking hours a day to get everything done that I want to do, not that I have to do, that I want to do.
There are things that we all must do daily that do take a big chunk out of our time, they are the necessary things like eating, showering, housework and your paid employment, all of which can also be enjoyable, but odds are they aren't necessarily your favourite times of the day. I am talking about the time that we all need to set aside for the things that we love to do. The things that you do, not because you have to, but because they are your passions. They ignite you and help you to get through all of the other necessary crap so that you can really pursuit your hobbies, your joys and your ways of defusing the world and getting into your own  zone. 
I have a few such passions, and if I don't find the time to indulge in them daily, I can become a bit of a crank. It is amazing how quickly our passions can become our obsessions, and I admit that I am guilty of indulging in my obsessions. Luckily my obsessions are neither dangerous nor illegal, so that's a win, but when you find yourself at the cinema at midnight on a Tuesday evening with friends and you have work the next day, well it's pretty fair to say that you have an obsession, and that you are indulging in it. So glad that it was all for a good purpose though, because this time, my obsession was definitely worth staying up for.

THE SHAPE OF WATER
Release Date: 2017
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 123 mins 
A romance fantasy movie, written and directed by Guillermo del Toro and Vanessa Taylor that will definitely tug at your heartstrings with its whimsical fairytale-esque storyline and adorable characters. After scooping the Golden Globe for Best Director and Best Original Score, The Shape of Water looks like a strong contender for an academy award as well, especially since it has 13 nominations.
​Elise is a mute cleaner (Sally Hawkins) that works at secret government laboratory. She discovers an amphibious humanoid (Doug Jones) that is being held against its will and the two form a secret relationship through a mutual love of proteins and music. When the creature's life becomes endangered, Elise sets about trying to rescue it from the facility, putting herself and the creature at great risk. 
​This movie is so deliciously sweet! The musical score, the costuming, the set design, the storyline, it all works beautifully. The performances are equally strong, with Hawkins delivering a divine portrayal of a pint sized angel, Michael Shannon playing the role of bad-guy Strickland with a terrifying conviction, Doug Jones - a del Toro veteran, is consistently fabulous as the amphibious man and Octavia Spencer, Richard Jenkins and Michael Stuhlbarg all offer solid support roles. 
I haven't liked a del Toro movie for a long while now, however, The Shape of Water proves that he's back, and that he still has what it takes when it comes to making enchanting monster movies. 
FINAL SAY: If we do nothing, neither are we. 
​4 Chilli Peppers ​

Self talk is a buzz term for the subconscious voice or inner dialogue that quietly runs in the background of our thinking minds all of the time. This inner voice keeps itself busy by making comment on how we see ourselves or suggesting how we should be doing things for ourselves. We all have a 'self-talk' voice, whether we want to acknowledge that we have one or not is totally irrelevant, trust me when I say that we all do have one. We just aren't really thinking about it, or what that voice is saying to us most of the time.
We are generally quite content to just let our inner dialogue run on auto-pilot, which can be fine if your self talk is usually positive, however, for many of us, that autopilot 'self talk' voice is not very kind or forgiving at all. Letting a negative self talk voice run on autopilot is probably not a very wise thing to do at all because it can have a huge effect on how you feel about yourself and what you choose to do with your life.
The way that we speak to ourselves matters, a lot actually. I have been investigating self talk lately and there has been a lot of studies done on the subject in recent years. As you probably already know, a negative self talking voice can drag people down so much that they can become seriously anxious and depressed, but did you know that persistently unchecked negative self talk has been linked to personality, esteem and body image disorders and can even lead to self harming and suicide? Yep, your subconscious self talk could be seriously sabotaging your chances of being happy and fulfilled. 
​Since considering all of this, I have been seriously paying attention to the quality of self talk that has been playing on autopilot in my subconscious, and I can confidently say that I have been quite unkind to myself for a very long time. There are some things playing on autopilot up there that are actually deeply damaging, even downright nasty! I would never put up with the crappy things that my inner voice says to me from anyone else, and yet I totally tolerate it from my own self, what the hell is that about?  And how long have I been being so unkind to myself? Where did these thoughts come from and why have I allowed this to go on for so long?
My self talk says horrible things about my physical, mental and emotional self that are so harsh, cruel and unloving that I cannot even write them down because they are just so horrid. As a consequence of that, I have learnt to not like certain things about myself, I have actually learned to hate some things about myself, and I have been doing it for almost 44 years!
So, clearly that all needs to change because I have no reason not to like myself, warts and all. I refuse to have some worn out, negative, self talking bullshit running on autopilot in the background of my subconscious any longer! It is time to feel more confident and to move on from old mindset habits and thoughts, they are no longer serving me and these negative thoughts that I have cultivated are only hindering my progress. 
Now whenever I catch myself having a negative self talking session, I ask myself these simple questions in an effort to combat my inner demons:

• Is there any evidence to support my thinking?
• What would I say to a friend if I heard them saying something like that about themselves?
• Is there a positive way to look at this?
• Am I keeping things in perspective? Is this rational?
• Is there anything that I can do to change what I am feeling bad about?

That usually seems to do the job, but I would be lying if I didn't say that is hard to break old habits and negative self thoughts, it takes constant and conscious effort to quell those asshole inner voices that try to convince us that we are not enough. I am not nearly out of the woods in regards to conquering my self talk yet, but I've made a start and I think that that is a mighty fine step in the right direction. I am not expecting to ever fully fall in love with who I am, but if I can stop saying terrible things to myself, that  sure would be a terrific place to begin.