In life we are presented with a never ending stream of opportunities. Opportunities to meet new people and experience new things, opportunities to evolve and unfold as a person and opportunities to change your way of life or your way of thinking. These opportunities come to us every single day, and sometimes we don't even recognise them for what they are because we are too busy or distracted to see what we are being presented with. 
This time of the year in particular is so consuming; consuming of our time, our money and often our patience as well as we scramble toward Christmas, hanging all of our hopes on the day that our holidays begin or that special day when we get to celebrate with our family and friends. We become so fixated on arriving at our destination (which isn't happening for another month yet mind you) that we completely forget to look around and embrace any new opportunities that may be arriving, and we certainly don't make the most out of everyday of the festive season along the way. This happens every year, and I write about it every year because I see it happening to people all around me every year. For some reason we just don't allow ourselves to enjoy things completely in the lead up to Christmas and I am beginning to think that we have all been programmed to do this, and it really has to stop. 
Now don't get me wrong, I do really enjoy Christmas, I am not Scrooge for goodness sake! However, I do feel like people lose focus of what is important at this time of the year and hold themselves to ransom, often sacrificing huge amounts of money, time and energy which they invest into just one day of the year. A day that comes and goes without nearly as much fuss required as we feel compelled to throw at it in my opinion. What about the next 30 days leading up to Christmas? Don't we deserve to enjoy the ride, the countdown and the anticipation with a bit of joy as well? Damn straight we do! We totally need to stop and smell the flowers along the way, indulge in the lead up to the day and seize any new opportunities along the way to Christmas day, but often we just don't. 
The pressure to deliver a so called 'perfect' Christmas quite frankly has balls on it! The best Christmas's that I have ever had were really quiet events spent with my nearest and dearest in total relaxation. I cannot tell you how much stress I have put myself under for Christmas events in the past, and for what? I've spent hours stressing about whether people would be happy with their gifts or not and then barely received a thank you when the gifts were actually opened. I have spent hours slaving away in the kitchen trying to cook for a tribe of people and then had people only point out what they didn't like about the meal when it was over. I can even recall Christmas' where my own family have made me feel completely unwelcomed at Christmas events, and it honestly made me realise that none of it is worth it. 
The build up, the expectation to deliver, the need to perform, blah! Who needs all that? That is the complete opposite of what Christmas is about in my mind, and I think that so many people are getting it all wrong. Why not take some pressure off yourself this year and seize an opportunity to look around at what is really going on. Be honest with yourself, are you really embodying the Christmas spirit or are you just ticking off some stupid 'to do' list that you feel compelled to complete that has nothing to do with love or generosity or kindness, or bloody Christmas spirit for that matter!
Let's get this into perspective. In a nutshell, gifts at Christmas are a bonus, and should never be an expectation unless you are under 10. Kids get to expect Christmas gifts, adults need to be happy with whatever they bloody well get and should not sook or bitch about it because  it's petty and it's mean to look any gift horse in the mouth, especially if you have enough money to buy yourself whatever you want anyway, which is often the case with the biggest whiners. Keep gifts small and thoughtful and never let yourself get frazzled when selecting gifts for people, remember that it is the thought that counts and anyone that thinks otherwise is an asshole! 
The Christmas food on the day should be special but also simple and it should never be too labour intensive because no-one wants to be chained to the kitchen on Christmas day, it's cruel. And people please, think about your food quantities and don't over do it. Creating days of leftovers is hardly 'good will' toward the planet, it is Christmas dinner, not a 'feed the world' campaign and therefore the amount of food doesn't need to increase. Remember that sometimes less is more, and a delicious simple meal with a couple of special additions always works best in my opinion, so don't freak yourself trying to make a 10 course extravaganza, it's not worth the hassell. 
Decorating before Christmas should be a joyous thing to indulge in, something that the whole family can do together which will also take the pressure off one person being responsible for 'doing' the tree and making things festive. Small accents are enough, you don't need to go all 'flashing lights on the house' crazy to feel like you're bringing the Christmas spirit into your home. Effective natural decorations and Christmas accents can be as basic as a few sprigs of evergreen and a couple of pinecones from outside; so damn simple and also free!
So, how are you going to spend your time in the lead up to Christmas this year? Freaking out or chilling out? Seizing and embracing new opportunities or completely oblivious to anything else because you've got your Christmas 'to do' list to perform and come hell or high water you're gonna get it done? Well, essentially the choice is your own, but I know that I'm not gonna sweating the small stuff this year, that's for sure. I'm on the lookout for fun, frivolity and opportunities to enjoy every day leading up Christmas day and every day after that as well!

Just when you think that you have dealt with the worst of the weather for the year, another round of cold, windy and rainy days arrives, swiftly reminding me that I live in Western Victoria and that November is definitely no guarantee of clear skies and sunshine. However, to be completely fair and honest, it is actually quite nice to have a very decent excuse to pound the couch and catch up on a lot of television that I have stockpiled over the last few weeks, so the recent bout of bad weather hasn't really dampened my spirits that much at all. 
Quality television opportunities are arriving in buckets at the moment, and I am seriously struggling to keep up with the high volume of television series that have continually popped up over the last few months. Never in my life have I watched this much television before, and for good reason, there never used to be this much good television to indulge in! These days, that is certainly not the case, because as soon as I finish one series another six sprout up in it's place. It's like whacking the head off a hydra, the more that you cull the more that new ones seem to arise in their place and it is getting harder and harder to squeeze in as many movies as I would like now that I am getting snowed under with television. 
And I suppose that's why it is imperative to also be really discerning about which television programmes you put your time and energy into, because you can literally find yourself watching hours and hours of mediocre shit just because the show delivered a strong and promising pilot episode and now you feel compelled to see it through. Trust me, I have been roped into watching a number of TV series for that very reason, and I have since learnt that being faithful to a television series but not discerning about its actual content will waste hours of your life that you will never get back, so don't let a series hoodwink you into watching series upon series of tripe if it's not going anywhere, there's too much good stuff around these days to allow yourself to do that. 
Here's my top ten 'avoid at all costs' (aka. what a load of shit) television shows that are not worthy of yours (or anyones for that matter) time:
1. The Walking Dead - probably the most pitifully sad, dragged out, outdated garbage that is still being peddled to the masses. Woefully bad and shameful, I actually feel bad for the cast now, they even look bored delivering it.
2. Modern Family - I think that nine seasons of this has been rolled out now, and it is always the same formula. In nine years not one character has developed beyond who they were in season one, how is that even possible? Blah!
3. The Bachelor / The Bachelorette - why are people even watching shows like this? The premise is awful, the people despicable and the whole concept is deplorable, need I say more? 
4.The Exorcist - we did not need to go here, no one needed to go here, I went there...I really wish I hadn't! The movie is more than enough of that thanks very much, can't believe it got 2 seasons!
5.  Nailed It! - Any television show that has founded its name from a meme or Youtube channel is never worthy of your time, this is just pitiful viewing. The cakes on this show are bad for a reason, the bakers are fucking idiots! 
6. The Handmaid's Tale s2 - started out with some promise, and I was enjoying it, and then.....they totally dropped the ball and went for cheesy and unbelievably stupid story arcs that all had to involve torture or brutal death scenes. Season 1's boots were too big to fill. 
7. Snowfall - I sat through two full seasons of this show about drug dealers because I really liked the first two episodes. It did not get better than the first two episodes, but rather proceeded into a slow and arduous decline. I wasted hours hoping it would improve ...a waste of my time! 
8. American Survivor - if you thought that Australian survivor was getting sad, think again. American Survivor is gut wrenchingly sad, it is utterly unwatchable in every respect and quite possibly the saddest shit on modern television. 
9. No Tomorrow - I was sucked into watching this because it had good online reviews, it was also the last time that I allowed online reviews to dictate what I watch. Think fuzz feel good meets apocalypse and gets all kissy and convenient and you'll be in the wheelhouse. God it was bad. How it got good reviews still kills me. 
10. America's Next top Model - I admit that I got pulled back in this year and gave it another go, and I did love to hate all of the bitchy waifs as they fought their way to the top, but at the end of the day it is a dreadful show. Even when they are trying to be all forward thinking with plus size models and a controversial judging panel, everyone knows that the fashion industry is still as deep as a puddle and rife with terrible people. 
So there it is, my avoid at all costs television list. Hopefully you won't fall into any of those horrific and painful viewing experiences yourself!

Craig and I celebrated our 24th wedding anniversary this weekend by getting away on our own. We headed out to a quaint and quiet Bed and Breakfast in Skenes Creek; if you don't know where that is, it's an extremely picturesque location just a few kilometres away from Apollo Bay and a stone throw away from The Great Ocean Road. The excellent location meant that we were able to enjoy the Otway Ranges on our drive there and the amazing coastal drive on the way home, giving ourselves the best of both worlds when it comes to road tripping. 
Craig and I haven't been away by ourselves for a while now, and I think that as the years tick over and things get a little rusty it is really important to escape the daily routine and getaway together at least once in a while, even if it is only for a short time. And I must say that a couple of days of salty air, sandy feet and hand held strolls did not do us any harm whatsoever. In fact, it probably did us the world of good, because we had been a bit niggly with each other in the weeks leading up to our departure; which is kind of par for the course in long term relationships. Sometimes when you've been married a long time, you can just annoy the shit out of each other and you need to find more creative ways to break that cycle of annoyance and remind yourself of why you love this person so much. 
Over my 24 years of marriage, I have found that a few days alone together can be very rejuvenating for a tiring relationship and I always make sure that wherever I stay when I get away with Craig has as little distraction from each other as possible. Farming your kids out with good intentions of spending some quality time alone at home never ever works. Regardless of how amazing your home may be, being at home alone for a romantic weekend is never as good as getting away together.
When you're at home, you really don't have your full focus on each other for very long, it is way too easy to get swept away or distracted by chores that you feel compelled to complete, unfinished jobs or projects, or other mundane things that may be going on around the house. You may have the most terrific intentions of spending quality time together, but from my experience, you'll soon be spending time doing loads of other things and not actually doing anything special together at all. I've done that so many times that it's just not funny, and it's most definitely not the best way to rekindle a little magic into a relationship.
However, when you're in a completely new place that has no WiFi connection, an alluring natural setting and heaps of tasty restaurants nearby for dinner, well that's what I call a recipe for success, and a success it was. The Airbnb that we booked was even better than we had hoped that it would be and boasted a huge outdoor soaker tub, generous self serve breakfast and a late check out. It would've been completely perfect if poor Craig hadn't found the bed a bit uncomfortable for sleeping on...ahh, the trials of being a 6'3" man, you just have to have a huge bed to accommodate that much leg! However, apart from that hiccup, it was a great little escape and a terrific opportunity for us to rekindle the spark and recharge the batteries before the madness of the silly season dominates all of our free thinking and spare time over the coming weeks. 

I love stories about magic, especially ones about witches, wizards, warlocks and far off enchanted lands. I have always been, for as far back as I can remember, completely allured by tales that involve witchcraft, magic and wizardry, which probably makes me the biggest geek in the world, but I don't care, they're awesome! I have spent many hours of my life absorbed in otherworldly realms, and I do not regret a single moment that I have spent in those places escaping the predictability of my  regular life. 
I suppose that I have always felt like there was quite a bit of magic that really does exist in the world, and the idea of there being a lot more of it going on than the average muggle could ever see has always excited me even further. As an adult reading the Harry Potter series, I was overwhelmed with joy to be losing myself in a world steeped in magic and mystery every time a new book came out, and although I love to read books and watch movies of all kinds, magical ones will always have a special place in my heart.
My first encounter with any kind of magical being came in the form of a troll from the story of The Three Billy Goats Gruff. It was a tale that my father would read to me as a small child, and it terrified me completely. The very idea of some troll living under a bridge that could jump up and snatch anyone off the bridge as they passed by was really scary as a child, and in the book he was described as having huge hands, a long nose like a broomstick and eyes as big as saucers. The image that accompanied the story in the book that we had was truly horrid and I was shit scared of it. I had an unspoken fear of bridges for years because of that book. However, in spite of how horrid that troll was, he did ignite an interest in the unseen world for me and once ignited, that interest never went out.
And so I began my love affair with magical escapism, and escape I did. I escaped during my lunch breaks in primary school, I escaped in my bedroom as a child, I escaped in the garden as a pre-teen and I even escaped in my nana's chook shed as a preschooler. As a child I escaped as often as I could and whenever I could, and literature was my main source of escapism; but it certainly didn't end there. 
As an adult I escaped to the much more potent world of real life escapism, and I found that in practises of the occult. Now before you get any ideas about chasing me down with pitchforks, you really need to calm down, it was a long while ago and I hung my broom and cloak up years ago, so there's no need to panic. At first I just started with dabbling in crystals, chakras and auras, which are pretty fluffy forms of occultism, and then eventually I moved on to using tarot cards and eventually graduated to spellcrafting. No, I wasn't beheading chickens or casting pentagrams of blood, it wasn't anything that extreme, it was purely experimental, mostly performed with curiosity and certainly non-violent in its makings.
However, let me assure you all, that what I did discovered through all of this 'escapism' is that there most certainly are unseen and hidden things in this world, and they are far happier being left the fuck alone! So don't even bother purchasing a ouija board or attempting to summon up spirits because you are most certainly not Sabrina the Teenage Witch, and crafting is most definitely not for meddlers. My advice is, stick to the movies, TV and literature, it is a far more fun, hassle-free and relaxing way to access magical escapism and there is no risk of biting off more than you can chew because you can just switch it off when you've had your fill!

Men's health is an extremely neglected issue, especially in countries like Australia where the term 'Man Up' or 'Don't be a Pussy' are the staple when it comes to male wellbeing. However, the truth is that the stoic, strong and silent male stereotype that Aussie males have happily hung their hats upon for decades has actually been incredibly damning for men.
Australia now has an alarmingly high suicide rate, and 75% of those suicides are men between the ages 15-44, which means that more men die of suicide every year than from road accidents. Suicide has now become the 10th highest cause of death among men, which means that it is an issue that we can no longer afford to ignore. Just today, 6 Australia men will take their own lives, and we desperately need to get to the bottom of what is going on and why this is happening. 
The men that are taking their own lives come from all walks of life, they live in rural areas and cities, they are young and old and they have diverse employment, socio-economic statuses and cultural backgrounds, but they do have one thing in common, and that is the inability to reach out and share their troubles with others. Turns out that the strong male stereotype is so well ingrained that most men say that they are concerned or even afraid to show their true feelings, their worries, their anxieties and their burdens with others, even their closest family members and friends. This inability to share tends to push vulnerable men into drug and alcohol abuse, gambling addictions or other unhealthy outlets to try and cope with their emotions. 
Essentially we have as a culture, disempowered our men to talk about themselves and their problems. Men are struggling to allow themselves to be vulnerable for fear of being singled out as weak; the pull to be an 'Aussie bloke' who can shoulder any responsibility has overridden men's ability to adopt introspection and let their guard down, and the results of this are just catastrophic.
So what can we do about it? First and foremostly, we have to acknowledge that what we are doing isn't working and that we need to make some serious changes to the way that we deal with men and their health and wellbeing issues. Organisation like Gotcha4Life and Movember are supporting programs directed specifically at men and agree that the approach needs to be different. Empowering and encouraging men to have deeper conversations about what is going on with them when they experience a crisis in their lives is the best place to start. We must make room for men to be in touch with the human parts of themselves, which means that they need the space to share, cry, mourn and feel weak from time to time without the fear of negative judgement.
We need to stop telling blokes to harden up or man up and we need to be better listeners and show support and understanding. We need to educate ourselves about men and their unique set of challenges and the heavy unspoken expectations that are placed upon them from an early age. These traditions of expectation have become so ingrained in Australian culture that it is going to take time to loosen the shackles of those constraints for men, but we have to start somewhere because male suicide is on the rise not the decline in Australia. 
So start right away, tell the men in your life how much they mean to you and take more time to just sit and talk with them when you can. Allow time for them to bond with other men recreationally, and encourage them to spend time alone with other men so that they can learn to open up and share their thoughts and feelings in 'safe mate' circle of friends. Support and normalise emotional releases and remember that it is all of our responsibilities to make men feel valued, heard and supported so that they can face the challenges of their lives with dignity. Help men to understand that it is not only okay to feel weak, it is absolutely necessary sometimes, and that being an emotionless robot isn't of service to anyone.
It is time for us all to wave goodbye to the stoic Aussie male stereotype that we have all been conditioned to accept and expect for generations, because we know that we can all do a shitload better than that for our men. And I implore all men to reach out and share, because we are all here and ready to hear you and support you, and never forget that it's all gonna be okay, help is never too far away and it's totally okay to seek it out if you should need it. 

I believe that the death penalty is an archaic and barbaric form of justice, in fact I do not believe that it is really a form of justice at all, it is a reaction to an act of violence with violence, and I think that it should be abolished worldwide. I ask you, how on earth can we ever achieve justice through more acts of injustice? 
I cannot understand it and I will never support it, for me the taking of any life, no matter how wretched that soul may be, goes against every fibre of my being and everything that I believe in. In a day and age where there are options for proper care and rehabilitation through correct practice and procedure, I think that we are far better equipped to deal with the ugliness of social misconduct than we have ever been before. Surely we can boast that we have evolved into a more civilised and humane culture that can bolster better consequences for the mentally unwell than just executing them?
In a recent episode of the television program Kidding, the main character meets the son of his penpal who just happens to be an inmate on death row. Through contact with this penpal we learn the truth about the lethal injection that is given to death row prisoners to euthanize them, and it really got me thinking about how deeply barbaric and horrific it would be to die in that way.
The so called 'painless' execution method is actually very far from painless and consists of a series of three lethal injections. The first of the three injections is an anesthetic called sodium thiopental, which is a fast acting barbiturate that depresses the activity of the central nervous system. This initial shot doesn't serve as a painkiller that numbs pain nerves, but instead it rapidly puts a person into a state of unconsciousness that's theoretically deep enough to make pain undetectable (note the word theoretically there). The assumption is that the drug will last long enough for the other two injections to be administered, but no-one alive has been able to substantiate that theory, so it's a grey area for sure. 
The second injection is pancuronium bromide which causes complete muscle paralysis, so even if the person being executed was in pain, they wouldn't be able to cry out or let anyone know that they were; and the injection also causes the respiratory system to go into arrest because the muscle of the diaphragm (the muscle that pulls air into the lungs) stops working, so odds are it hurts like a bitch. 
The last dosage to be administered is potassium chloride, which floods the heart with charged particles that interrupt its electrical signaling and stop it from beating. According to a study in the Journal of Forensic Science, the average length of time from the first injection to death is 8.4 minutes. Try and get your head around that, 8.4 minutes of possible pain and discomfort, maybe a lot longer, before you eventually die. It's a chilling thought, and not something that invokes a painless drifting off, as one may have imagined about lethal injection previously. It may be more humane than electrocution or a cyanide gas chamber, but let's not kid ourselves here, this is still a completely barbaric practice that needs to be abolished. 
And to top it all off, there are no real health professionals present when lethal injection procedures are administered because doctors and nurses are banned by their professional organisations from participating in executions since it goes against the moral code of health care professionals to be involved in such procedures. Surely that made you raise an eyebrow? 
And even though many countries have abolished the use of the death penalty, there are still 54 countries around the world that still have laws that sanction the use of capital punishment, and in some of those countries, the lethal injection would actually look like a good option considering the fact that they still use hanging, shooting, torture, flogging, firing squads and even stoning as a means of execution which is sometimes conducted publicly. I seriously shudder at the thought. 
An eye for an eye and the world goes blind, and I firmly believe that that is true. We cannot fight fire with fire and expect to survive the inferno ourselves, a life is a life and when others make poor choices we cannot simply put out their light, it is wrong and it is immoral. Anyone that supports the taking of a life for a life really needs to take a good hard look at what is motivating all of that hate in the first place, because in my opinion, it isn't natural to want to destroy your own kind. 

I absolutely love podcasts. I have a number of shows in my podcast library on my phone that I regularly listen to. Just like the recent rise in accessible quality television, podcasts are fast following suit with a wider variety of entertaining shows becoming available daily and I have become pretty hooked on a number of them.
Cooking, cleaning, gardening or even exercising, I find that even the most menial  and mundane of tasks can be elevated to enjoyable if you have a good podcast to tune into whilst you are doing it, and I wanted to share some of my very favourite finds with you all. 
First and foremost I think that I need to list my fave movie/TV podcasts, because I do like to stay ahead of what is being released and what looks worthy of a trip to the cinema to see, and these podcasts are my go-to's on the subject of quality viewing:

• The EMPIRE Film Podcast
• WHO Magazine's TV Binge List 
• Man vs Movies
• Mad About Movies
• Film Junk

Next are my 'Feel Good' podcast faves, which offer me motivation, inspiration and stimulation when I am feeling like I need a lift:

• Dear Sugars
• Something Amazing
• Your Own Magic
• Mind, Body Musings
• LET IT OUT
• All in the Mind
• Happier with Gretchen Rubin
• Mindfully
• The Lively Show
• The Pineapple Project
• The Good People Effect
• Beautiful Anonymous
• Ladies We Need to Talk
• Meditation Oasis
• Getting Curious with Jonathan Van Ness

Here are my favourite 'Freak Me Out' podcasts, which can be supernatural, crime or just plain weird, but I do like a good freaky tale from time to time:

• Lore
• The Other Stories
• Something Scary 
• Unravel True Crime

And lastly, but certainly not least are my fave comedy podcasts because we all need a good laugh from time to time:

• My Dad Wrote a Porno
• Comedy of the Week - BBC Radio 4
• The Cracked Podcast
• Conan O'Brien Needs  a Friend

So there you have it, my favourite regular podcasts, I hope that you can find something inspiring to listen to yourself, and if you have any amazing recommendations please let me know.
Honestly, with you would think that I wouldn't have time to squeeze in any movies with all of the podcast listening that I do, but trust me, I still do!