The top ten most common reasons for getting a divorce are:
- Getting married for the wrong reasons (eg. for the money)
- Lack of individual identity or codependence
- Becoming lost in the roles
- Not having a shared vision
- Lack of intimacy
- Unmet expectations
- Lack of finances
- Being out of touch
- No shared interests
- Inability to resolve conflicts
I mean there must have been some common ground, shared vision, idea, expectation at some point for these two people to decided to walk down the aisle and pledge their undying love for each other in front of everyone that they knew, and I have to ask - what the hell happened to those feelings? How do two people that completely loved each other (enough to put themselves through a wedding) just decide to stop loving each other and break up? Was there no sign that this person was going to do your head in before you went and married them? Did you just ignore that and go for it anyway?
I know that some marriages are certainly better off ending than enduring, but I do think that maybe some people do quit a bit sooner than they should these days. The arrival of online dating and hookup opportunities has made a lot of people wonder if they are just settling, and the lure of a possibly 'better option' is definitely changing the amount of crap that people will put up with in a relationship. You can literally jump onto any dating website or download an app like Tinder and start looking for the next best thing right away after getting out of a relationship. People used to wait up to 3 years to start dating after a divorce but now some couples confess to being back on the dating scene within weeks of a separation in order to 'fill the space' that has been left behind, which is really quite concerning.
41% of first marriages end in divorce now, 60% of second marriages and 73% of third marriages, which basically tells me that if it sucked the first time, it will probably suck the second and the third time around as well. And although I am not in any way advocating that you should never get married, divorced or remarried, what I am trying to say is that you need to make sure that it is really, truly and 100% absolutely what you want to do before you just start or end a serious relationship.
Breaking up sure is hard to do and staying together can be equally as hard if it just isn't working. I can tell you with all honesty that if I took flight everytime that my husband gave me the shits, that we would've been over a thousand times by now. Staying together takes work, a bloody shitload of hard work but you have to try, and if you've given it all that there is and it still isn't working than it is totally okay to walk away. Just don't give up too easily, because sometimes it's not as bad as it may seem at the time, and tempers, just like pie crust, soften after a few days and you don't want to throw away something really great because of a few hard yards. In short, what I am trying to say is, that it is totally okay to give up if it's really not working, but just don't give up too soon.
Release Date: 2018
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 90 minutes
There is something about New Zealand comedy that is undeniably hilarious, and The Breaker Uppperers is certainly no exception to that fact. Directed and written by the dynamic duo of Madeleine Sami and Jackie van Beek, who also act in the two lead roles, this movie is rife with all of the awkwardness and discomfort that we have come to love from kiwi comedy and I found myself laughing out loud in the cinema all the way through.
Best friends Mel and Jen run a shady business that specialises in breaking up unhappy couples. Their enduring friendship hits the skids after a series of life changing events.
I cannot deny that the storyline here is simple at best and that there are some rather cheesy scenes, but trust me when I say that they are seriously overwhelmed by the really great cringe-worthy interludes and dark humour. I flat out loved this movie and was glad to have some quality kiwi laughs back in my life.
FINAL SAY: The heart wants what the heart wants.
4 Chilli Peppers