I have in other posts mentioned how I hate it when a movie franchise capitalises on the success of earlier films and starts to roll out endless sequels that are just absolute shit and not a scrap on the original in any way, and look this does happen quite a lot. However, I don't want to tell you about all of the times that Hollywood wasted my time with shithouse sequels, why would I do that when I can tell you about all of the times when they actually got it completely right?
I would much prefer to talk about all of the times that a sequel or trilogy produced something that was just as good as the original - and dare I say it, sometimes even better! Yes, it is true, that some sequels and sometimes trilogies (and even beyond; which is rare but has happened) can be just as good, if not better than, their predecessor offerings. And I have to say that I get mighty excited when things like this happen.
Whenever I enter the cinema to watch a second coming I never, not ever, expect for it to be great. So you can imagine my surprise and delight when they get the formula right and deliver something fabulous all over again. Impossible you say? I think not, check out these incredible feats of cinematic trilogy and sequel genius -no seriously, you should really check them out, they're actually all very good movies!
TERRIFIC TRILOGIES:

• The Godfather: Arguably the best movie trilogy that has ever been made and certainly one of the best that I've ever seen.
• Toy Story: All four of them are great, all four of them! This is so rare that it is literally unheard of. If you've somehow missed these, see them immediately. 
• Lord Of The Rings (Trilogy): I've said it a thousand times, these three movies are epic. All Hale King Jackson! 
• The Hobbit(Trilogy): More Jackson gold, not as good as LOTR, but still epic.
• John Wick: There have been three of these so far, and they just keep getting better and better, and Keanu gets sexier and sexier as well - bonus!
• The Indiana Jones trilogy: Yeah I know that there were four of them, but the first three were the best and you know it too!
• Before Midnight: The final film in the trilogy, with the first two being Before Sunrise and Before Sunset. These are some of the best and most realistic romance films ever made, and each installment gets more involved. 
• Three Colours: Blue, Red and White: These fabulous french/polish language films are loosely based on the three political ideals in the motto of the French republic: liberty, equality, fraternity, and they're all excellent. 

STUNNING SEQUELS: 

• Terminator 2: Judgement Day: The first one was great, but the second one was bad ass, CGI effects heaven in 1991. 
• Aliens: Yep, loved the original Alien with all of my heart, but kick ass Ripley saving the day in Aliens was so damn good!
• Blade Runner 2049: So good, and in my opinion better than the original in storyline. 
• Paddington 2: Probably the best sequel of 2017, it was just so damn adorable!
• The Dark Knight: Heath Ledger's performance elevated the Batman movies to new and great heights- amazing!
• Thor: Ragnarok: Funnier, faster and way more enjoyable than any of the other Thor films. 
• Logan: The Wolverine franchise swan song was so, so good - it made my best of 2017 film list because it's really intelligent and deeply moving.
• Insidious 2: A perfect follow up to the very creepy first offering, some consistently excellent horror film making here. 
• Deadpool 2 - I love the Deadpool movies, they are so naughty and tongue in cheek, they're winners all round for me.
• Creep 2 - More Mark Duplass weirdness! Creep 2 is a really good and consistent follow on to the first Creep film. 
• Kill Bill Vol 2 - Every bit as good as Kill Bill vol 1, I actually liked the second instalment more than the first, but I know that many would argue this with me. 
• Hellboy 2 - The Golden Army: Even better than the first Hellboy, loads more fantastic creatures and heaps of action packed fun. 
• Manon Des Sources: The second installment of the French language movie Jean De Florette is unforgettable material that shouldn't be missed. 
• Avengers: Endgame: A perfect ending to an incredible franchise and the best super sequel that has ever been made. Hall of Fame material!
• Mad Max: Fury Road: This modern take on Mad Max was an unmissable fuel injected adrenaline rush and made my best of 2015 list. 
• T2 Trainspotting: A mature and contemplative revisit to the lads twenty years on, very interesting. 
• The Conjuring 2 - The Enfield Haunting: Totally freaked me out, that bloody nun is scary as all shit! Way more scares than the first Conjuring offering. 
• The Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2: Just as good as Vol 1 in every way, just as funny, action packed and entertaining. 
• An Inconvenient Sequel: Truth to Power: If you're still in denial about global warming then watch Al Gore's second offering about the subject and get on board with feeling very uncomfortable and worried about the planet. 
• Zombieland: Double Tap: More hack and slash zombie killing with the old gang, what's not to like? 

The Academy Awards (or Oscars) are officially Hollywood's biggest awards 'night of nights.' They serve to award movie makers, directors and actors who have reached a pinnacle of excellence in their careers. To even receive an Oscar nomination is huge deal in Hollywood, and unlike the Golden Globes that celebrate television and film excellence, the Academy Awards are solely focused on recognising achievements of excellence in film.
The categories at the Oscars span much further than acting and directing, and also offer recognition for all of the creative and technical work that goes on behind the scenes when movies are made. From costuming, sound, cinematography, visual effects and cinema shorts, the Academy Awards are the most prestigious and coveted of all of the Hollywood award events, and even though I never miss the Golden Globes, the Screen Actors Guild Awards or the Critics Choice Awards, the Oscars are easily my favourite awards ceremony to watch every year. 
If you should wish to see the Academy Awards ceremony yourself this year, it will be broadcasting live on Channel Seven from 12pm on Monday 10th February, with an encore airing at 7.30pm for those of you who, like myself, will be at work during the day of the ceremony. 
And this year, the Academy Award nominees are as follows:
Best Picture:
“Ford v Ferrari”
“The Irishman”
“Jojo Rabbit”
“Joker”
“Little Women”
“Marriage Story”
“1917”
“Once Upon a Time in Hollywood”
“Parasite”
Lead Actor:
Antonio Banderas, “Pain and Glory”
Leonardo DiCaprio, “Once Upon a Time in Hollywood”
Adam Driver, “Marriage Story”
Joaquin Phoenix, “Joker”
Jonathan Pryce, “The Two Popes”
Lead Actress:
Cynthia Erivo, “Harriet”
Scarlett Johansson, “Marriage Story”
Saoirse Ronan, “Little Women”
Charlize Theron, “Bombshell”
Renee Zellweger, “Judy”
Supporting Actor:
Tom Hanks, “A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood”
Anthony Hopkins, “The Two Popes”
Al Pacino, “The Irishman”
Joe Pesci, “The Irishman”
Brad Pitt, “Once Upon a Time in Hollywood”
Supporting Actress:
Kathy Bates, “Richard Jewell”
Laura Dern, “Marriage Story”
Scarlett Johansson, “Jojo Rabbit”
Florence Pugh, “Little Women”
Margot Robbie, “Bombshell”
Director:
Martin Scorsese, “The Irishman”
Todd Phillips, “Joker”
Sam Mendes, “1917”
Quentin Tarantino, “Once Upon a Time in Hollywood”
Bong Joon Ho, “Parasite”
Animated Feature:
“How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World,” Dean DeBlois
“I Lost My Body,” Jeremy Clapin
“Klaus,” Sergio Pablos
“Missing Link,” Chris Butler
“Toy Story 4,”  Josh Cooley
Animated Short:
“Dcera,” Daria Kashcheeva
“Hair Love,” Matthew A. Cherry
“Kitbull,” Rosana Sullivan
“Memorable,” Bruno Collet
“Sister,” Siqi Song
Adapted Screenplay:
“The Irishman,” Steven Zaillian
“Jojo Rabbit,” Taika Waititi
“Joker,” Todd Phillips, Scott Silver
“Little Women,” Greta Gerwig
“The Two Popes,” Anthony McCarten
Original Screenplay:
“Knives Out,” Rian Johnson
“Marriage Story,” Noah Baumbach
“1917,” Sam Mendes and Krysty Wilson-Cairns
“Once Upon a Time in Hollywood,” Quentin Tarantino
“Parasite,” Bong Joon-ho, Jin Won Han
Cinematography:
“The Irishman,” Rodrigo Prieto
“Joker,” Lawrence Sher
“The Lighthouse,” Jarin Blaschke
“1917,” Roger Deakins
“Once Upon a Time in Hollywood,” Robert Richardson
Best Documentary Feature:
“American Factory,” Julia Rieichert, Steven Bognar
“The Cave,” Feras Fayyad
“The Edge of Democracy,” Petra Costa
“For Sama,” Waad Al-Kateab, Edward Watts
“Honeyland,” Tamara Kotevska, Ljubo Stefanov
Best Documentary Short Subject:
“In the Absence,” Yi Seung-Jun and Gary Byung-Seok Kam
“Learning to Skateboard in a Warzone,” Carol Dysinger
“Life Overtakes Me,” Kristine Samuelson and John Haptas
“St. Louis Superman,” Smriti Mundhra and Sami Khan
“Walk Run Cha-Cha,” Laura Nix
Best Live Action Short Film:
“Brotherhood,” Meryam Joobeur
“Nefta Football Club,” Yves Piat
“The Neighbors’ Window,” Marshall Curry
“Saria,” Bryan Buckley
“A Sister,” Delphine Girard
Best International Feature Film:
“Corpus Christi,” Jan Komasa
“Honeyland,” Tamara Kotevska, Ljubo Stefanov
“Les Miserables,” Ladj Ly
“Pain and Glory,” Pedro Almodovar
“Parasite,” Bong Joon Ho
Film Editing:
“Ford v Ferrari,” Michael McCusker, Andrew Buckland
“The Irishman,” Thelma Schoonmaker
“Jojo Rabbit,” Tom Eagles
“Joker,” Jeff Groth
“Parasite,” Jinmo Yang
Sound Editing:
“Ford v Ferrari,” Don Sylvester
“Joker,” Alan Robert Murray
“1917,” Oliver Tarney, Rachel Tate
“Once Upon a Time in Hollywood,” Wylie Stateman
“Star Wars: The Rise of SkyWalker,” Matthew Wood, David Acord
Sound Mixing:
“Ad Astra”
“Ford v Ferrari”
“Joker”
“1917”
“Once Upon a Time in Hollywood”
Production Design:
“The Irishman,” Bob Shaw and Regina Graves
“Jojo Rabbit,” Ra Vincent and Nora Sopkova
“1917,” Dennis Gassner and Lee Sandales
“Once Upon a Time in Hollywood,” Barbara Ling and Nancy Haigh
“Parasite,” Lee Ha-Jun and Cho Won Woo, Han Ga Ram, and Cho Hee
Original Score:
“Joker,” Hildur Guðnadóttir
“Little Women,” Alexandre Desplat
“Marriage Story,” Randy Newman
“1917,” Thomas Newman
“Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker,” John Williams
Original Song:
“I Can’t Let You Throw Yourself Away,” “Toy Story 4”
“I’m Gonna Love Me Again,” “Rocketman”
“I’m Standing With You,” “Breakthrough”
“Into the Unknown,” “Frozen 2”
“Stand Up,” “Harriet”
Makeup and Hair:
“Bombshell”
“Joker”
“Judy”
“Maleficent: Mistress of Evil”
“1917”
Costume Design:
”The Irishman,” Sandy Powell, Christopher Peterson
“Jojo Rabbit,” Mayes C. Rubeo
“Joker,” Mark Bridges
“Little Women,” Jacqueline Durran
“Once Upon a Time in Hollywood,” Arianne Phillips
Visual Effects:
“Avengers Endgame”
“The Irishman”
“1917”
“The Lion King”
“Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker”

I am all for owning and indulging in your guilty pleasures, and come on, let's put it out there...they're only guilty pleasures if you actually feel guilty about them, right? So rather than calling them 'guilty' pleasures let's just call them straight up pleasures, aka the things that you love to indulge in that other people may not (probably won't) know about. And let's be honest about this, we all have them, so there's no point in acting like you don't. And they could be as innocuous as eating chocolate in the bathtub whilst listening to Cindy Lauper CD's or they could be as dangerous as snorting cocaine off the back of a dunny seat everytime that you go to a Melbourne nightclub; whatever your pleasure (and as long as it isn't harming anyone else) I say that it's okay to indulge in your pleasure vices from time to time. 
I find that as I get older, my choice of 'pleasures' has changed substantially, and that's not because I don't have anything that I desire enough to warrant the effort because I most certainly do, but I find that I am much busier and more financially restricted as the time in my life marches on; so what I can afford to indulge in, and also what I can afford the time to indulge in, has altered quite a lot. Perhaps I just have more expensive pleasures than I did say... fifteen years ago, which is probably closer to the truth and that would generally mean that I just can't afford to indulge in them as often as I would like to. 
When I say expensive, I also mean indulgent and I think that, like most of us, there is a certain level of guilt associated with indulging in your pleasures, especially if you know that they are expensive, dangerous or not really considered to be good for your health - hence the title guilty pleasures. However, if there is one thing that I have learnt thus far in this life,  it's that restricting yourself from the things that you really love and genuinely crave is not only extremely cruel, but it's downright oppressive to your soul as well. One must never forget the age old adage - you can't take your riches with you when you die, so you may as well make the most of them while you can. 
Over the years the topic of guilty pleasures has come up from time to time when I have had people around, it is certainly one of the more interesting topics that you can discuss at a dinner party or friendly gathering. As interesting as your own pleasures are to you, I find it way more interesting to hear about the guilty pleasures of others. Other people's pleasure choices can reveal another dimension to their person that you may have completely overlooked, and although I am not going to out anyone here for their specific desires, I have heard some pretty interesting and even salacious pleasure choices that have raised a few eyebrows in the room when they were revealed.
Check out these rippers:

• Staying a work late to use their internet to game.
• Looking at photos of Kamal and listening to him sing - and getting turned on!
• Getting drunk and binge watching bad reality TV.
• Enjoying McDonald's breakfasts regularly. 
• Dancing in the loungeroom to songs from Dirty Dancing or Grease. 
• Stealing luxury pillows from hotels.
• Eating a (free?) handful of grapes or nuts from the produce section of supermarkets. 
• Drinking a whole bottle of good champagne alone.
• Eating raw cake mixture or biscuit dough. 
• Stealing soaps. 
• Watching Steven Seagal movies and loving them. 
• Getting professional massages on your lunch break.
• Following Justin Bieber on Instagram. 
• Watching 'weird topic' porn.
• Reading Mills and Boon novels. 
• Impulse travelling or road tripping. 
• Sunbaking without sunscreen.
• Eating things straight from the jar or drinking out of the carton.
• Smoking joints.
• Squeezing pimples on other people's backs or faces. 
• Not showering on the weekends. 
• Stalking people on social media platforms. 
• Talking to your pet like it's a real person that understands you. 

Some of those were actually mine, but I am not going to tell you which ones...you'll just have to guess! In the meantime, raise a glass to your own (guilty) pleasures, partake in them and explore what gives you genuine and unbridled joy, because life's too short not to indulge in the sillier, simpler and saucier bits and bobs. And, as long as 'it harms none' then I say go in hard and celebrate being alive everyday!

So, the 2020 Golden Globe Nominations have been announced, which will pretty much dictate what I will be watching over my summer break. Yep, I am going to be hitting the couch and the cinema pretty hard over the next few weeks so that I can watch the actual Golden Globe Awards Ceremony live on Arena on January 6th and have some understanding of the content that has been nominated.
As an avid movie addict, I do feel very compelled to see at least 75% of everything nominated before an event of this calibre occurs in order for me to be discerning about whether a movie/program is worthy of the win or not. 
This year there is some really great news for those of you out there that don't like to go the cinema very often because quite a number of the nominated films and television programs are actually available through various streaming networks (which I have indicated below for your viewing ease) which means that you can watch a good swag of them from the comfort of your own couch in preparation for the big event. 
I cannot deny that there does appear to be a couple of incredibly great movies and television series that have been snubbed from the lists here, but this happens every year and I will get around to sharing my personal top pics of the year list very soon, so let's just go with what's been nominated here, and I will talk more about my personal choices for the best of 2019 in the very near future.
So, without further ado, here are the 2020 Golden Globe Nominations - happy viewing!
Best Motion Picture — Drama
1917
The Irishman - Netflix
Joker
Marriage Story - Netflix
The Two Popes - Netflix
Best Motion Picture — Musical or Comedy
Dolemite Is My Name -  Netflix
Jojo Rabbit
Knives Out
Once Upon a Time in Hollywood
Rocketman
Best Foreign-Language Motion Picture
The Farewell
Les Misérables 
Pain and Glory 
Parasite
Portrait of a Lady on Fire
Best Limited Series or TV Movie
Catch-22 - Stan
Chernobyl - HBO
Fosse/Verdon - HBO
The Loudest Voice - Showtime
Unbelievable - Netflix
Best Television Series — Drama
Big Little Lies - HBO
The Crown - Netflix
Killing Eve -  ABC iview or Stan
The Morning Show
Succession - HBO
Best Comedy Series
Fleabag - Amazon Prime
Barry - HBO
The Kominsky Method - Netflix
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel - Amazon Prime
The Politician - Netflix
Best Motion Picture — Animated
Frozen II
How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World
Missing Link
Toy Story 4
The Lion King
Best Director — Motion Picture
Bong Joon-ho, Parasite
Sam Mendes, 1917
Todd Phillips, Joker
Martin Scorsese, The Irishman
Quentin Tarantino, Once Upon a Time in Hollywood
Best Performance by an Actor in a Limited Series or Movie
Christopher Abbott, Catch-22
Sacha Baron Cohen, The Spy
Russell Crowe, The Loudest Voice
Jared Harris, Chernobyl
Sam Rockwell, Fosse/Verdon
Best Performance by an Actress in a Limited Series or Movie
Kaitlyn Dever, Unbelievable
Joey King, The Act - Hulu 
Helen Mirren, Catherine the Great - Foxtel
Merritt Wever, Unbelievable
Michelle Williams, Fosse/Verdon
Best Performance by a Supporting Actor in a Series, Limited Series, or TV Movie
Alan Arkin, The Kominsky Method
Kieran Culkin, Succession
Andrew Scott, Fleabag
Stellan Skarsgård, Chernobyl
Henry Winkler, Barry
Best Performance by a Supporting Actress in a Series, Limited Series, or TV Movie
Patricia Arquette, The Act 
Helena Bonham Carter, The Crown
Toni Collette, Unbelievable
Meryl Streep, Big Little Lies
Emily Watson, Chernobyl
Best Score for a Motion Picture
Little Women
Joker
Marriage Story
1917
Motherless Brooklyn
Best Original Song
“Beautiful Ghosts,” Cats
“(I’m Gonna) Love Me Again,” Rocketman
“Into the Unknown,” Frozen II
“Spirit,” The Lion King
“Stand Up,” Harriet
Best Performance by an Actor in a Comedy Series
Michael Douglas, The Kominsky Method - Netflix
Bill Hader, Barry - HBO
Ben Platt, The Politician - Netflix
Paul Rudd, Living With Yourself - Netflix
Ramy Youssef, Ramy - Stan
Best Performance by an Actress in a Comedy Series
Christina Applegate, Dead to Me - Netflix
Kirsten Dunst, On Becoming a God in Central Florida -  SBS
Rachel Brosnahan, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel - Amazon Prime
Natasha Lyonne, Russian Doll - Netflix
Phoebe Waller-Bridge, Fleabag - Amazon Prime
Best Performance by an Actor in a Drama Series
Brian Cox, Succession - HBO
Kit Harington, Game of Thrones - Foxtel
Rami Malek, Mr. Robot - HBO
Tobias Menzies, The Crown
Billy Porter, Pose -Foxtel
Best Performance by an Actress in a Drama Series
Jennifer Aniston, The Morning Show - Apple TV+
Jodie Comer, Killing Eve
Olivia Colman, The Crown
Nicole Kidman, Big Little Lies
Reese Witherspoon, The Morning Show
Best Performance by a Supporting Actor in a Motion Picture 
Tom Hanks, A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood
Anthony Hopkins, The Two Popes
Al Pacino, The Irishman
Joe Pesci, The Irishman
Brad Pitt, Once Upon a Time in Hollywood
Best Screenplay
Marriage Story
Parasite
The Two Popes
Once Upon a Time in Hollywood
The Irishman
Best Performance by a Supporting Actress in a Motion Picture
Kathy Bates, Richard Jewell
Annette Bening, The Report
Laura Dern, Marriage Story
Jennifer Lopez, Hustlers
Margot Robbie, Bombshell
Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture — Musical or Comedy
Daniel Craig, Knives Out
Taron Egerton, Rocketman
Roman Griffin Davis, Jojo Rabbit
Eddie Murphy, Dolemite Is My Name
Leonardo DiCaprio, Once Upon a Time in Hollywood
Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture — Drama
Christian Bale, Ford v Ferrari
Antonio Banderas, Pain and Glory
Adam Driver, Marriage Story
Joaquin Phoenix, Joker
Jonathan Pryce, The Two Popes
Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture — Musical or Comedy
Ana de Armas, Knives Out
Cate Blanchett, Where’d You Go, Bernadette
Beanie Feldstein, Booksmart
Emma Thompson, Late Night
Awkwafina, The Farewell
Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture — Drama
Cynthia Erivo, Harriet
Scarlett Johansson, Marriage Story
Saoirse Ronan, Little Women
Charlize Theron, Bombshell
Renée Zellweger, Judy

Whenever I tell people that I have a website that is dedicated to reviewing movies they always ask me the same question - What's Your Favourite Movie of All Time? As a lover of movies, this is one of the hardest questions that I ever get asked because it is almost impossible to choose just one movie when I have seen and enjoyed so many.
There is a reason that I have a Hall of Fame page that is dedicated to movies that I gave 5 Chilli Peppers to, and that's because I find it so hard to compare movies from different genres against each other. If someone asks me what my favourite movie is, I usually respond with 'that depends on which genre you're talking about.'
If I could have the option of choosing a favourite in each genre, then I could definitely tell you my favourites without any trouble at all:
DRAMA: Manchester by the Sea
HORROR: Rosemary's Baby
SCIENCE FICTION: Interstellar
​WAR: Inglourious Basterds
SUPER: Avengers: Endgame
COMEDY: Snatch
CRIME/ACTION: No Country for Old Men
ART HOUSE: Youth
FOREIGN: The Great Beauty (La Grande Bellezza) 
FANTASY: The Lord of the Rings Trilogy
GRITTY: Melancholia
ROMANCE: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind 
KID FRIENDLY: Kubo and the Two Strings 

So why are these my favourite films when I have so many more listed on my Hall of Fame that are also 5 Chilli Peppers worthy? Well that's easy, these are the movies that I go back to time and time again and always enjoy them just as much as I did the first time that I watched them. All of them had an effect on me in one way or another and all of them left me pondering after I had seen them. I guess that I really don't have one favourite movie of all time, I actually have 13, which also happens to be my lucky number! 

It's almost been ten days since our Zoe arrived back home after breaking up with her fiance and partner of 8 years Lachlainn. The news came as a bit of a shock to us all, but maybe I just didn't want to see the problems because I wanted to believe that Zoe was happy, but in truth, she wasn't. Looking back on these things with hindsight you can always see the cracks and chips in clarity but at the time you are just blinded by what you want to see. It is always like this with breakups of any kind I think, and even though the clarity is there, it really doesn't make breaking up any easier to do. 
Zoe has been strong and organised with this break up to within an inch of her life, which is what we have all come to expect from our Zoe. She's tough and she strong, and it does take great strength to admit that things aren't working and then to also walk away from them. Zoe leaves behind eight years of memories and most of her formative years experiences with Lachlainn since they practically grew up together. Zoe was only 14 years old when she and Lachlainn got together, so it is both fair and probably to be expected that they have just grown apart as time has progressed, and we really should have seen this coming to be honest, but as I said hindsight is 20/20. 
I think back to some of the douche bags that I was hooking up with when I was only 14 years old and...jeez! There is no way that I could probably even stand to be in the same room with some of those weirdos let alone in a relationship with them. Not that I am saying that Lachlainn is a douchebag or anything, but the likelihood of wanting someone that you hooked up with when you were a kid as an adult are probably slim to none.
Craig and I got together when I was just short of 18 and we have had more dramatic episodes than Days of Our Lives on the way to eventually finding happiness and contentment together. We broke up numerous times, fought like we were on the set of Rocky, got regularly and spectacularly wasted together like we were Sid and Nancy at an Irish stag do and eventually popped out the other end (somehow) still together.
And I'm not going to lie to you, it was really hard to stay together when we were young, it felt downright impossible at times. We were both the youngest of five children so we were both used to having our own ways and we had no idea how to make a relationship work, we were both headstrong, opinionated brats. However, unlike Zoe and Lachlainn we were already married and had a home mortgage and a child before we were even 25 so we felt like we had to stick it out through thick and thin, it was complicated. Fortunately for Zoe and Lachlainn they didn't have any of these responsibilities to make them feel tethered together, so breaking up became amicable and quite simple really, well as simple as breakups can be if that's any consolation. 
Breaking up, no matter how clean, is not easy. You are never  just leaving another person, but also leaving a part of yourself and a way of being that you may have grown accustomed to. You leave behind who you once were when you were with that person and you are technically re-inventing yourself into another version of yourself. A single version of yourself, which will be hard for Zoe because she hasn't really experienced being single yet, it's totally foreign territory. However, as we all know, foreign territory although a little scary at times, can also be exciting, exhilarating and empowering. And if anyone is going to be able to stand on their own two feet, I have absolutely no doubt that Zoe will. She has more strong independent woman in her than Sinead O'Connor and I really believe that although it is sad that she has broken up with Lachlainn that this will be her time to shine and really come into her own. 
Sometimes we need a clean break to kick start a new life, and sometimes that opportunity can only be seized by letting go of an old and outmoded version of ourselves. Sometimes letting go of people in our lives that are holding us back from meeting our true potential is only sad for a short time before we can fluff up our own wings again and take flight on our own. And I cannot deny that the very selfish and motherly parts of me are genuinely  excited to have my darling daughter back in the nest for me to fuss over once again. Here together we can support her, help her to heal the broken parts of herself and then help her to move on to the next big adventure that life has in store for her. Zoe deserves all of that and more and now it is her chance to fly solo, put herself first and do whatever she wants to do. 

I am always so surprised when people tell me that they get bored. Who gets bored these day? It is such a weird and incomprehensible thing for me to fathom because I honestly cannot remember the last time that I felt slightly bored. With so many interesting things to do and so many things that simply must be done, I rarely have that much free downtime as it is, and when I do have it, I can assure you that I am never, ever bored. 
You don't have to have a million hobbies or be profoundly busy to distract yourself from boredom, in fact there are so many things that you can do with your downtime that are not only enjoyable but also super productive as well. Here is a list of my personal favourite boredom beaters, as well as some other ideas that I haven't even had the time to have a crack at yet.  
​If should ever find yourself with some free time and nothing to do with it, then I suggest that you take a look at this list: 

• Learn a new skill, language or hobby.
• Read a book. 
• Listen to a podcast.
• Schedule appointments at the doctor, masseuse, dentist, salon etc. 
• Work out. 
• Go for a walk.
• Bake.
• Learn to play an instrument. 
• Set yourself a new personal goal (in detail with all of the steps) and get busy making it happen.
• Start a blog.
• Watch a movie or TV series.
• Write in a journal.
• Go through your old photos and make up some memory albums.
• Revise your budget.
• Do yoga. 
• Visit a local tourist attraction.
• Volunteer.
• Knit, sew or crochet something. 
• Declutter your home. 
• Play a game, either a board game or a console game. 
• Make plans to catch up with friends or family somewhere new. 
• Take an online course.
• Start meditating.
• Clean out your inbox and unsubscribe to emails.
• Create a vision board. 
• Write a meal plan and a shopping list to go with it. 
• Clean out your wardrobe.
• Paint a picture or color in a mindful coloring book.
• Reconnect with people you haven't seen in while eg. email, text, call. 
• Plan a holiday.
• Update your resume.
• Go to the cinema. 
• Call a long distance friend or family member for a chat.
• Watch an inspiring Ted Talk. 
• Perform a random act of kindness. 
• Clean out your pantry and fridge.
• Practise self care eg. take a bath, exfoliate, give yourself a facial, pedicure or manicure. 
• Cook a new dish.
• Start a veggie or floral garden.
• Pick up a camera and start shooting.
• Visit the local library. 
• Make a craft or fold origami. 
• Find a youtube channel that interests you and follow it. 
• Donate to charity. 

I know that there is nothing actually wrong with being bored from time to time, sometimes it can actually be a good thing because it motivates us to try new things. But it's just generally so grey, melancholic and unproductive that I don't think that anyone would actually choose to be bored. Besides from what I have seen and learnt about boredom over the years, I think that it can lead people down some pretty strange and even destructive roads if it goes on for too long. What's that old saying about 'idle hands and the devils work'? I can't say for sure that being productive or unbored will actually keep anyone out of trouble, but it will certainly leave less time for anyone to find it!  

So many people are getting sick at the moment, and it's easy to understand why when the weather is constantly freezing and the wind chill factor makes your fingers, toes and face ache. Even Craig, who rarely if ever gets sick, has a runny nose, sore throat and even gravelier than usual rattle to his speech. The kids at my school appear to have various things leaking out of a variety of orifices and a number of the staff are looking a little worse for wear in spite of just returning from a winter holiday break. But that is July in Ballarat for you - cold, freezing, freezing cold or Tundra, and if you don't like cold weather then moving here would be the stupidest idea in the world. 
A common misconception about Australia is that we have nothing but hot weather. I think that a lot of foreigner visitors expect that since we have so much desert that we are going to be sweltering hot all year round, but that is just not the case. I cannot deny that summers are actually pretty hot all over the country, with the exception of Tasmania which never seems to get over 35 degrees celsius. And I know that 35 degrees celcius may sound hot to some people, but when it comes to Australian summers, 35 is considered the ideal.
In summer it genuinely does get hot, really, really hot. I have seen roads literally melting into sticky tar puddles and desperate snakes searching for water in very open and risky areas in the summertime and it is nothing to get a string of 45+ degree days that make you intensely worried about bushfires when you live in the outlying bush areas.
However, contrary to popular opinions about Australia, it doesn't stay like that all year round and some areas are frickin freezing and even snowy in the winter time. Ballarat is one of those areas and if you're from another more temperate area of the country, the weather here can seem brutally cold and the winters intolerably long. It seems brutally cold and intolerably long to me, and I have lived in the area for over 30 years, but to be truthful I do this every year. I whinge about the cold in the dark of winter and I complain about melting at the peak of summer, but at the end of the day I have very good heating and cooling, and absolutely nothing to whine about at all. I even had my hot water system die this winter and guess what?I lived! Okay, I stank a lot too, but I did survive until I could pin down a plumber to sort out my problem. 
​I think that if you have your health you can face just about anything really, and that's why I really don't want to catch another dreaded lurgy right now, I've already had one of those this year and I hated it! I can totally deal with the wind, the ice and even the snow but please, please don't let me get another lurgy!
Sidenote: I'm already regretting putting that much energy into the sickness topic now, it's a bloody recipe for disaster! I'm just asking for trouble! 

Even the most secure people in the world need to be reassured from time to time, it's human to seek validation and it is not weak to admit that you require some reassured from time to time. I know that every now and then I like to be told that I'm doing okay, that I'm a good person and that I'm completely lovable, and when I don't receive any validation for a while, I start to listen to my persistent and annoying inner voice of self doubt, and then I start to stumble. 
I wasn't raised in a very validating home as a child. Behavioural expectations were high, imperfections were highlighted and opportunities to 'cut one down to size' were used as an everyday form of punishment and embarrassment. Unfortunately, these less than encouraging formative years have had a profound effect on who I have become as an adult, and as a consequence, I have had to severely escalated my efforts to break certain molds and cycles and find a sense of self assurance.
In the past, I have been rejected by my parents because they didn't like my behaviour, I have lost friends who thought that I wasn't worth the effort and my own siblings have all estranged me because they've perceived me to be unlovable and mean. As you would imagine, these things have had a massive effect on my life and have made me quite insecure. I have struggled all my life to feel accepted, comfortable and secure with who I am.
I have poured unknowable hours of my time into self help, self motivation and self care in an attempt to quench my need for acceptance and love, but sometimes you can only get the type of reassurance that you are really looking for from the people around you. There is no book, guide, meditation, fitness class, job or other external thing that can replace someone that you love telling you that they also love you and think that you're amazing. And that is a fact, we all need to feel like we are loved by someone and that we are perfect just the way that we are. It is not just reassuring, it's downright empowering to love and be loved in return, it's the best feeling in the world to know that there is someone on the planet that adores you in some way, shape or form for just being who you are. 
The bottom line is that none of us are completely self-sufficient, even though many of us pretend to be. However, the best thing that all of my self help attempts has taught me over the years is that the most insecure people in the world are those that cannot acknowledge their fears and insecurities, and that pretending to have it all together when you don't is not only stupid, it's also counterproductive to moving forward.  
So now, when I feel like I'm floundering, I just tell people. I spill out the stupid in my head and I say out loud - I need some reassurance. And it is totally okay to say that. No-one feels fabulous all of the time, and sometimes a simple word of reassurance from someone that you care about can be enough to get you back on track and fight off that self deprecating voice inside of you that can be doggedly determined to convince you otherwise.
No-one has to break out the accolades, send in the marching band or shroud me with words of praise in order to reassure me, a simple - I think you're important and I care about you is really all that it takes to reboot my system. But sometimes I need to hear it, and as corny and as silly as that may sound to admit, I just need to hear it. I'm human and sometimes I need some reassurance, and you know, I really don't think that there is anything wrong with admitting that. 

One of the things that I do enjoy most about a mid-winter break is the ability to catch up on some late night viewing and couch potato antics without any guilty feelings whatsoever. Not having to get up and go to work in the morning allows me to indulge in the pleasure of watching entire seasons of television programs and back to back movies, and honestly it is just heaven. With a good strong coffee in hand, a couple of fluffed up pillows and a cosy blanket, I have managed to wonderfully while away many of my holiday evenings in front of the idiot box and I am more than happy to share my joyful at home viewing highlights with you, should you also wish to indulge in some quality lounge room viewing. 

As far as television goes, there has been no shortage of high quality, engaging programming to get completely lost in this year. I have watched a tonne of television this year, more than I ever have before and a lot of it has been of a really high standard as well. The best that I have seen and would highly recommend so far this year are: (in no particular order) 
Escape at Dannemora (Stan) - dramatisation
Sally 4Ever (HBO - Foxtel) - comedy
After Life (Netflix) - comedy drama
Les Miserables (BBC - Foxtel) - period drama
Game of Thrones - S8 (HBO - Foxtel) - fantasy drama
American Gods S2 (Amazon Prime) - fantasy drama
What We Do in the Shadows (FX - Foxtel) - horror comedy 
This Country (Stan) - comedy mockumentary 
Forever (Amazon Prime) - fantasy drama
Killing Eve s2 (ABC iview) - crime drama
The Last O.G. S2 (Stan) - comedy 
The Let Down S2 (ABC iview) - comedy 
Bad Omens (Amazon Prime) - fantasy drama
Detectorists S3 (ABC iview)  - comedy 
Gentleman Jack (HBO - Foxtel) - period drama
Bridget & Eamon (Amazon Prime) - comedy 
Euphoria (HBO - Foxtel) - drama
Chernobyl (HBO - Foxtel) - dramatisation 
The Act: Dee Dee and Gypsy Rose (Hulu - Foxtel) - dramatisation 
Perpetual Grace (Stan) - art house 
Big Little Lies S2 (HBO - Foxtel) - drama
Stranger Things S3 (Netflix)  - science fiction

To be honest, quality movies to view at home have been a little thinner on the ground, but it is often quite hard for me to find things that I haven't already seen on streaming channels because I go to the movies so often. Seth and I have been trawling through a lot of classic horror, which SBS on demand has an excellent selection of, should you need to sate a yearning for retro horror like The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Halloween, Hellraiser or Scanners. Aside from that Amazon Prime has the largest B grade horror library that I have ever encountered, admittedly it is mostly shit, but you can find the odd retro gem in there as well like Night of the Living Dead, Carrie,  Zombieland and the Friday the 13th Series. 
However, without further ado, here is a list of the best movies that I have watched on the couch (not at the cinema) this year so far: (again listed in no particular order)
Film Stars Don't Die in Liverpool - Netflix (Romance) 
It's Actually a Funny Story - Netflix (Drama)
Suspiria - Amazon Prime (Horror) 
Hush - Netflix (Horror) 
Tully - Netflix (Drama)
The Poughkeepsie Tapes - Stan (Gritty) 
Observance - Amazon Prime (Horror)
American Animals - Foxtel (Crime) 
I am Mother - Netflix (Sci-Fi) 
Pin Cushion - SBS on demand (Gritty) 
Mandy - Foxtel (Horror) 
Full reviews of all of these films can be found on the corresponding genre lists in the drop down menu above if you're looking for more information.
Happy viewing my friends! 

Spicywatch.com has just turned 5, hip hip hooray Spicywatch! Apart from my family and friends, I don't think that I have poured this much of my spare time and energy consistently into anything before, and for as long as I can remember, I don't feel like I have loved or enjoyed pouring my spare time into anything as much as I have loved sharing Spicywatch with all of you wonderful readers. 
Watching and reviewing movies is not just a hobby for me anymore, it is an important part of my life now. For five years I have shared my thoughts, my opinions and my passion for cinema with you all, and so far I have managed to review 790 movies that I honestly believe are worthy of your time and effort to view. I look forward to one day having 1,000 movies on my Spicywatch genre lists that are worthy of your time, but it will take me quite a few more years to get that far. 
Last nights celebrations were focused on the Best Music Moments in Cinema, which is a broad topic, but extremely fun one to investigate. Musicals were most welcome, but not mandatory, and as it turned out, there are actually a huge number of movies that have very significant and memorable music scenes in them that are actually completely non-musical movies. 
My wonderful and supportive friends and family gathered in Enfield to share a drink and their cinematic loves with me; and we laughed, sang and got our groove on to some of the most unexpected (but mostly excellent) musical moments that we could find.
And here is the extensive list of best music moments in cinema (from every genre) as chosen by my nearest and dearest, that made it to the Spicywatch 5th Birthday celebration screening in my living room last night:
Baby Driver (Bellbottoms) 
Pulp Fiction (You Never Can Tell) 
Beetlejuice (Banana Boat Song) 
The Skeleton Twins (Nothings Gonna Stop Us Now) 
Ferris Bueller's Day Off (Twist and Shout) 
Coraline (Garden Scene composed by Peter Corrigan) 
Pretty in Pink (If You Leave) 
The Perks of Being  a Wallflower (Heroes) 
Napoleon Dynamite (Canned Heat) 
Little Miss Sunshine (Super Freak)
Straight Outta Compton (Boyz N Da Hood) 
The Blues Brothers (Shake Your Tail Feather) 
Two Hands (These Days) 
American Psycho (Hip to be Square) 
The Lion King (Circle of Life) 
The Secret Life of Walter Mitty (Space Oddity) 
The Hunt for the Wilderpeople (Ricky's Birthday Song) 
Guardians of the Galaxy (Mr Blue Sky) 
Moulin Rouge (Come What May) 
Mean Girls (Jingle Bell Rock) 
Trainspotting (Lust for Life) 
Sound of Music (Edelweiss) 
Reservoir Dogs (Stuck in the Middle) 
O Brother Where Art Thou? (I Am a Man of Constant Sorrow)
Risky Business (Old Time Rock and Roll) 
Easy A (A Pocketful of Sunshine) 
The Mask (Cuban Pete)
Nacho Libre (Encarnacion) 
Hedwig and the Angry Inch (Origins of Love) 
The Big Lebowski (Just Dropped In) 
Pitch Perfect (Riff off) 
Purple Rain (Title Track) 
Love Actually (Jump) 
Bridesmaids (Hold on) 
Little Fish (Flame Trees) 
Slumdog Millionaire (Jai Ho)
Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (Anything Goes) 
Singing in the Rain (Title track)
And one of my all time favourites: Mulholland Drive (Llorando/ Crying) 

Mother's Day is the one day of the year that we get to celebrate and spend time with the women in our lives that mean the most to us. I had lunch with Craig's mother yesterday and today I traveled to Ararat to see my own mother, whom I have been cultivating a loving and genuine relationship with over the last couple of years. The way that my mother and I finally found our deeper connection with each other came about in the most unusual and painful of ways, but now I have a really terrific relationship with my mum and I am so glad that I have been able to get to know her so completely in her twilight years. 
Around two years ago, I had a really traumatic estrangement from my siblings. One of them, in an attempt to destroy my relationship with my parents, trawled my blog and printed out any posts that contained defamatory content about my mum and dad. They took those printed pages and gave them to my parents, which was not only deeply mean to me but downright cruel to my elderly parents who were very distressed by my writings. I had to own that some of the things that I had said in the past about my parents were unkind, unnecessary and unproductive to our relationship. 
I think that at that point in my life I was using my blog to process my feelings and pour out some of my confusions and misgivings about the people in my family. There was no way to take any of it back and all of the cards were left face up on the table, well for me they were anyway. However, just as the saying goes "the truth shall set you free" and in that exposure, there was a cleansing and with everything laid bare and stripped back, there was no room to hide away, it was time to have some honest and awkward conversations. 
I did not attempt to discuss what my siblings had said to me about my parents themselves in defense of my writings, I owned what I had written completely, the bottom line was that all of those comments had come from me and I had been mean. I promised that I wouldn't talk poorly about them again and that I would work hard to make everything up to them, if they would give me the chance to. My parents were really upset, for a very long time, not just with me but also with my siblings for their vicious behaviour and it has taken me two years to shake off the effects of my estrangement from my siblings and regain the trust of my parents again. 
I now proudly have a meaningful and profound relationship with my mother, one that is based on trust and honesty.  I am not the same person that I was two years ago, and I am no longer petty or consumed by the mistakes of the past. I do not want to go through my life not knowing my mother, understanding my mother, loving my mother and being there for my mother. Having a better relationship with my mum has allowed me to understand the choices that she has made in her own life, why she is the person that she is and just how much she needs and deserves to be loved.
I doubt that I will ever thank my siblings for wounding me as deeply as they did, because that is a wound that just doesn't seem to heal no matter how attentive I am to it, but I cannot deny that out of their hate I did manage to find a real love and respect for my parents that I may not have enjoyed if none of it had ever happened. I don't talk poorly about my parent anymore, I don't complain about my family dynamic to people and I don't spend my free time looking for problems where there are none. As a mother myself, I understand that a meaningful relationship with my own mother is one of the most valuable things that I can ever enjoy in this life, and I have that now and I love spending time with my mother.

​ATONEMENT
Release Date: 2007
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 123 mins 
A romance/war drama, based on Ian McEwan's popular 2001 novel of the same name. Director Joe Wright became the youngest director to open at the 64th Venice International Film Festival at the age of 35 with Atonement, and he enjoyed a lot of notoriety and attention for his saga that outlines a crime and it's consequences over six decades. 
Filled with jealousy and malice, young Briony Tallis (Saoirse Ronan) hatches a story to keep her older sister Cecilia (Keira Knightley) away from the an old family friend and army private named Robbie Turner(James McAvoy). Her deception changes the course of several lives and when war breaks out in Britain, it seems an impossibility that  the two lovers will ever reunite.
This is truly a tale of enduring love, immensely sad and overflowing with unrequited passions. The directing here is on point, the scenes are lush and grandiose, and the actors are so good that they practically outshine the script. I cannot deny that I enjoyed it, for a period romance it was up there for me, it had enough intrigue to keep me interested and there were plenty of beautiful things to look at as well, especially James McAvoy who looks amazing in this. 
FINAL SAY: I love you. I'll wait for you.
4 Chilli Peppers

I was having a conversation with a good friend of mine the other day and they told me that they felt that they would never find love. Naturally my reaction to this information was, why? In my mind this person is more than lovable, attractive, very intelligent and financially stable, why would someone like that have any trouble finding a meaningful and loving relationship? And then when she started to answer me, it all became very clear why. She had a list of potential partner prerequisites that would make a Harvard post-graduate with a six pack and a Lamborghini run away screaming, it was insane! And it got me thinking about realistic expectations when it comes to meeting a potential partner. 
My friend's list of requirements (and I am pretty sure that you would have heard something similar before) went a little something like this:
My potential love interest needs to be fit, financially comfortable, funny, adventurous and have a really good job. 
I would imagine that there millions of women that have lists very similar to this as their personal  prerequisites to love and I have to say that it is extremely disturbing. Finding a combination of traits like that in anyone at any one given time is going to be extremely rare, but are any of these individual ideals actually realistic anyway? 
My husband is certainly not what anyone would call funny most of the time, but sometimes he is gut bustingly hilarious! Does that count as funny? Who is funny all of the time anyway? That is creepy! And what about being fit? What level of 'fit' are we talking about here? A marathon runner is fit and a bodybuilder looks fit but they are completely different body types, and someone who is super fit would be at the gym or working out all of the time, is that what you're looking for? I asked her. 
And what if some great guy was rich and then gave it all away to charity, would he not be financially stable enough to be considered a good partner? What if he was just between terrific jobs, but was currently unemployed because he had just given up 12 months of his life to go and vaccinate children in Botswana against typhoid, would that guy not be worthy of consideration because he didn't have 'a really good job' at the moment? 
You can see where I am going with all of this right? I said. You have put up walls and expectations that are not only unrealistic but they are not allowing any potential partner to infiltrate that barrier because you don't want them to be human, fallible or individual. How bloody sad! And what about me as a friend? Do you hold me to ransom with the same high expectations? I am not fit, or wealthy and I only have a low earning job, does that mean that I am not good enough for you? 
Of course my friend said no, that they loved me dearly and that they would never see me as anything but a terrific friend and lifelong confident, and that was where I got her and I could see the look on her face. The penny had just dropped and she could finally see that she was actually holding herself back from having meaningful and lifelong relationships with men because she had put so many expectations on them. 
At the end of the day, love cannot be put into a pigeon hole and neither can anyone that you allow yourself to love. Sometimes we are all funny or more stable or flush with funds; and sometimes we are stronger or fitter or more secure, and then other times we are none of those things at all, and that's called life. In life, and love, there are no perfects...at best you may get some pretty perfect days and moments but nothing is ever permanent.
There is nothing wrong with aiming high for yourself, but expectations need to be kept realistic and viable or they are just going to hold you back from life and love. Love doesn't exist in a tiny perfect package, that's just what everybody wants you to think. Instagram is rife with snippets of perfection and people get really caught up in that bullshit and start to aim for something that isn't even real. Let me tell you that real love is messy and unpredictable, it farts on the couch and drinks milk from the carton and will probably make you angry and even cry sometimes, and that's okay. That means it's real. 
So in the end I reassured my friend that she has no reason to believe that she will never fall in love, because any idiot can fall in love, and there are millions of lonely people in the world looking for a connection, she just needs to put her phone back on the hook because she hasn't been receiving! And besides, any fool that decides to have someone as nutty as me as a best friend can definitely find love out there in the big wide world! Stranger things than that happen every damn day!  

STRANGER THAN FICTION
Release Date: 2006
Rating: M
Running Time: 113 mins 
A fantasy romance tale, directed by Marc Forster and written by Zach Helm (better known for his work on Mr Magorium's Wonder Emporium) that offers a sweet and entertaining look into the lives of ordinary everyday people with a whimsical and quirky backdrop. 
Harold Crick, an insanely regimented IRS agent, has his predictable life turned upside down when he begins to hear an internal voice that is narrating the events of his life as they occur. When he falls for Ana, the baker that he has been assigned to audit, things rapidly get even more out of hand for Harold. 
Will Ferrell delivers one of his best ever performances as Harold, and Maggie Gyllenhaal offers another believable quirky indie-chick performance. It is actually the incredible cast that really brings this film to life; Emma Thompson, Dustin Hoffman, Queen Latifah and Tom Hulce all bring levity to the story; which although isn't life changing, is intelligent, charming and quite good fun. 
FINAL SAY: I brought you flours. 
3.5 Chilli Peppers ​

I love going to the movies or sitting down to watch a film and finding a hidden gem. Sometimes I get the most delightfully unexpected surprise from a movie that I wasn't expecting it from, and I just love it when that happens, it really spins my tyres! And it really doesn't happen as often as I would like, a lot of the time when I leave a cinema or get off the couch after a movie I am left with a rather underwhelmed kind of a feeling or even worse, I start to contemplate the hours that I just wasted and will never get back again!
Life is way too short to waste reading bad books, watching poor movies and wasting your precious and valuable free time having mediocre experiences. Especially cinematic ones, after all that's why you have me! I've already found heaps of hidden gems for you, so you can just relax and enjoy the movies that I consider to be the best (and unmissable) hidden gems that you may have accidentally missed or overlooked.
Now, don't feel bad about it, people actually miss a lot of top quality viewing experiences all of the time because smaller and independent movies just get squashed by blockbuster movies, and most people just aren't going to the movies to see small budget or independent films. They also aren't going to the cinema half as much as I am either I would imagine, so it's more than likely that you've missed some of these rippers along the way, not through any fault of your own, but just from a lack of exposure; but never fear....I've got your back!
In no particular order (and remember that my full reviews of these films are on their genre lists if you want more information), here are my top 20 picks for hidden gem movies that you may have missed: 

1. The One I Love (Romance) 
2. Don Jon (Drama)
3. The Cabin in the Woods (Horror)
4. The Only Lovers Left Alive (Art House)
5. Short Term 12 (Drama)
6. A Ghost Story (Art House)
7. Wind River (Drama)
8. Once (Foreign/Romance)
9. Calvary (Art House/Foreign)
10. Moon (sci-fi)
11. Ingrid Goes West (Drama)
12. Son of Rambow (Comedy)
13. Sightseers (Foreign) 
14. In the Mood for Love (Foreign)
15. Young Adult (Drama)
16. Beautiful Boy (Drama)
17. Me and Earl and the Dying Girl (Drama)
18. Youth (Drama)
19. The Fall (Fantasy)
20. The Grand Seduction (Comedy)

I have only been back at work for two days and I have already found my number one hidden gem movie of the year! How good is that? And when you are as movie obsessed as I am and constantly thirsting for quality entertainment, then that is something to get happy about!

Age gap is something that regularly comes up in random conversation and everyone pretty much has their own opinion around what is an acceptable age gap for a couple and what is not. To be honest, I generally don't give that much of a shit about age gap, but I would be lying if I said that I didn't find some age gap relationships a little over the top and somewhat cringe worthy. 
If you ask google what is an acceptable age gap it comes up with this interesting statement:
The rules state that by dividing your own age by two and then adding seven you can find the socially-acceptable minimum age of anyone you want to date. 
My first wondering about that statement is who actually created this so called 'rule' that they speak of? And their definition of a 'socially acceptable minimum age' is, in itself, an extremely grey area, I mean can people outside of this equation still be accepted into society or will they forever feel the sting of being ostracized for their forbidden passions? And why are they assuming that everyone wants to date someone younger than they are? What are the rules for older partners? 
If this statement is true then I could be dating a 29 year old which may not raise too many eyebrows, and if the same applies in reverse then I could also be dating a 73 year old, which may raise even more eyebrows. So, according to this google formula I can date anyone between 29 and 73 and no-one would be put out or offended, but if I started dating a 28 year old or a 74 year old, well that would just be getting freaky. 
I don't think that there really are any 'rules' around age gap dating, because we all know that love is love and that consenting adults have the right to date anyone that they want to. However, as I said earlier there are some age gap relationships that do make me feel uncomfortable. I don't think that people should be dating anyone that is the same age or younger than their own children, and I also don't think that people should date anyone older than their own biological parents either.
In my case, if I was to date someone around my children's age I would be seeing a 21 year old and if I was to date someone around my parents age then my partner would be in their 80's and I am not comfortable with either of those options. Now I know that everyone has their own personal boundaries around age gap dating, and I am not claiming that my choices are correct, I am simply stating that that is where I draw my line in the sand on age gap romances. 
Hollywood is notorious for putting massive age gaps in movies that no-one ever bats an eye at because they are usually younger women with older men; in fact an older man with a younger lady is generally not considered to be nearly as controversial as an older lady with a younger man is for some reason. Perhaps it is because we are conditioned to seeing more older men with younger women romance dynamics in cinema and as a result of that we have become conditioned to accepting it as normal. 
Here are some prime examples of older men with significantly younger women in romance films that defy the realms of acceptable, and yet no-one seemed too bothered about them at all:
Drew Barrymore and Tom Skerritt in Poison Ivy - 42 year gap
Kevin Spacey and Mena Suvari in American Beauty - 20 year gap
Gary Cooper and Audrey Hepburn in Love in the Afternoon - 28 year gap
Woody Allen and Mariel Hemingway in Manhattan - 26 year age gap
Johnny Depp and Amber Heard in The Rum Diary - 23 year gap
Brad Pitt and Rose Byrne in Troy - 16 year gap
Gabriel Byrne and Winona Ryder in Little Women - 21 year gap
Richard Gere and Hilary Swank in Amelia - 25 year gap
Timothy Hutton and Natalie Portman in Beautiful Girls - 21 year gap
Tom Cruise and Olga Kurylenko in Oblivion - 17 year gap
Liam Neeson and Olivia Wilde in Third Person - 32 year gap
Denzel Washington and Lymari Nadal in American Gangster - 23 year gap
Hugh Laurie and Leighton Meester in The Oranges - 27 year gap
However, to be fair, Hollywood doesn't always get it wrong when it comes to age gap movies and there have been some truly tasteful and empowering age gap movies that are not only plausible but also liberating in terms of love and what both platonic and romantic love can look like. Some of my personal favourite recommendations are:

• Film Stars Don't Die in Liverpool - Jamie Bell and Annette Benning - 28 year gap
• The Reader - Kate Winslet and David Kross - 21 year age gap
• Harold and Maude - Ruth Gordon and Bud Cort - 52 year gap
• Leon the Professional - Jean Reno and Natalie Portman - 33 year age gap
• Lost in Translation - Scarlett Johansson and Bill Murray - 34 year gap
• The Graduate - Anne Bancroft and Dustin Hoffman- 10 year gap
• Seeking a Friend for the End of the World -Steve Carell and Keira Knightley - 22 year gap

At the end of the day, everyone knows that age is really just a number and that it can never define what is acceptable in terms of real love and meaningful relationships. I suppose that it is important to not get hung up on the actual age gap in a relationship but rather to look deeper at the parameters of that love and whether or not it is respectful, meaningful, plausible and genuine, and if it is indeed all of those things, then who am I to judge? 

That time has rolled around again, the time for me to collate all of my viewing efforts and put forward my recommendations for the best viewing choices of 2018. As I have mentioned before, quality television really dominated my time this year and I gave more 5 Chilli Pepper ratings to TV series than I gave to movies this year. To be honest, overall I do feel that the quality of movies this year was not as strong as it was in 2017, and I feel like I watched a lot more mediocre movies than I did last year as well, but sometimes that happens. 
In total I viewed 253 movies in 2018 and 133 TV series (some of which had several seasons). I have watched programs across every genre, and I can honestly say that there were excellent offerings in all of those genres in both movies and television. This year I am not going to list my least favorite viewings for 2018 because I have made myself a new years resolution to be more positive and to not focus on the negative things, so to list the worst things I saw in 2018 would be counterproductive to that resolution. Besides, as I have said before, even if I didn't love it, doesn't mean that someone else won't or that it is rubbish. At the end of the day, even the movies that we don't really enjoy have required a lot of time, money and effort to be produced; to shit on someone else's dream or vision is a pretty lousy thing to do, so I am choosing not to go there. 
I hope that you find something on these lists that you have not seen yet and can hopefully now explore. For full reviews of all of the recommended movies below, just go to the appropriate genre tab at the top of the page.
So without any further ado, here are my TOP MOVIE CHOICES (2018 release):  

• ROMA - Foreign 4.5 Chilli Peppers
• Hereditary - Horror 4.5 Chilli Peppers 
• Beautiful Boy - Drama 4.5 Chilli Peppers 
• Isle of Dogs - Kid Friendly 4.5 Chilli Peppers
• BlacKkKlannsman  - Drama 4 Chilli Peppers 
• A Star in Born - Romance 4 Chilli Peppers 
• The Tale - Gritty 4 Chilli Peppers 
• Paddington 2 - Kid Friendly 4 Chilli Peppers 
• Avengers: Infinity War -  Super 4 Chilli Peppers 
• The Ballad of Buster Scruggs - Art House 4 Chilli Peppers 
• Upgrade - Science Fiction/ Action 4 Chilli Peppers  
• John Leguizamo: Latin History for Morons - Documentary 4 Chilli Peppers 

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

• A Quiet Place - Sci-Fi/ Horror 3.5 Chilli Peppers
• Annihilation - Sci-Fi 3.5 Chilli Peppers
• Black Panther - Super 3.5 Chilli Peppers
• Ready Player One - Fantasy 3.5 Chilli Peppers
• The Breaker Upperers - Comedy 3.5 Chilli Peppers
• Searching - Crime 3.5 Chilli Peppers
• Game Night - Comedy 3.5 Chilli Peppers
• Love, Simon - Romance 3.5 Chilli Peppers
• Bohemian Rhapsody - Drama 3.5 Chilli Peppers
• Blockers - Comedy 3.5 Chilli Peppers

Here are my top recommendations for pre- 2018 releases that I didn't see until 2018: 

• Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri - Drama 5 Chilli Peppers (Hall of Fame)
• Bright Star - Romance 4.5 Chilli Peppers
• Wind River - Drama 4 Chilli Peppers
• Good Time - Drama 4 Chilli Peppers 
• The Shape of Water - Fantasy 4 Chilli Peppers 
• Coco - Kid Friendly 4 Chilli Peppers 
• Mudbound - Drama 4 Chilli Peppers
• Call Me by Your Name  - Romance 4 Chilli Peppers 
• Ingrid Goes West - Drama 4 Chilli Peppers 
• Beasts of No Nation - Gritty 4 Chilli Peppers 
• The Tunnel - Foreign 4 Chilli Peppers 

BEST TELEVISION SERIES of 2018: 

• Master of None S2 - Comedy/ Drama 5 Chilli Peppers 
• One Strange Rock - Documentary 5 Chilli Peppers
• Atlanta S2 - Drama 5 Chilli Peppers
• Sharp Objects - Crime 5 Chilli Peppers
• Patrick Melrose - Drama 5 Chilli Peppers
• Kidding - Drama 4.5 Chilli Peppers
• Who is America? - Comedy/ Documentary 4.5 Chilli Peppers
• Here and Now - Drama 4.5 Chilli Peppers
• Maniac - Sci-Fi 4.5 Chilli Peppers
• Lemony Snicket's a Series of Unfortunate Events S2 - Fantasy/ Kid Friendly 4.5 Chilli Peppers 
• Mosaic - Crime 4 Chilli Peppers
• The End of the Fucking World S1 - Crime 4 Chilli Peppers
• Dirk Gently S2 - Fantasy 4 Chilli Peppers
• Barry S1 - Crime/ Drama 4 Chilli Peppers
• AHS - Apocalypse - Horror 4 Chilli Peppers
• Mr Inbetween - Crime 4 Chilli Peppers
• Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat - Documentary 4 Chilli Peppers
• Just Another Immigrant - Comedy  4 Chilli Peppers
• Mr Mercedes S1 - Crime  4 Chilli Peppers
• Wanderlust - Drama  4 Chilli Peppers
• The Miracle - Foreign  4 Chilli Peppers
• Anne with an E S2 - Drama 4 Chilli Peppers

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

• Britannia S1 - Fantasy 3.5 Chilli Peppers 
• Ash vs Evil Dead S3 - Horror/ Comedy 3.5 Chilli Peppers 
• Swedish Dicks S2 - Comedy/ Crime 3.5 Chilli Peppers 
• Future Man - Sci-Fi/Comedy 3.5 Chilli Peppers 
• GLOW S2 - Drama 3.5 Chilli Peppers 
• The Detectorists S2 - Comedy/ Drama 3.5 Chilli Peppers 
• Sabrina the Teenage Witch - Horror 3.5 Chilli Peppers 
• Wellington Paranormal - Horror/Comedy 3.5 Chilli Peppers 
• The Kominsky Method - Drama/ Comedy 3.5 Chilli Peppers 

Gimme a high five, a kiss on the cheek and a slap on the arse - work has officially ended! I have now happily navigated (and survived) the Christmas Staff Party, the work place Kris Kringle certificate exchange and the obligatory tipples, cheerful chatter and tears of goodbye that come with all end of year farewells and the much anticipated and fiercely coveted Summer holiday escape. All of my Christmas work events were thoroughly enjoyable, as one would expect when you work with a group of wonderful people, and I was sweetly touched by the outpouring of love and care that everyone in my school community shared with each other over this busy and genuinely exhausting time of the year.
The children (literally dead on their feet by the final stroke of the clock) showered me with much thanks, many hugs and a ridiculously generous cascade of gifts that were both greatly appreciated and overwhelmingly touching; highlighting all of the reasons that the slog is always worthwhile and that we do indeed change tiny minds everyday for the better. It would be more than fair to say that Christmas definitely came early for me. I don't even need to open another gift now, I have already been insanely spoilt and my ego has had a mighty good fluffing up from the many compliments and thanks that the children's parents (who did not hold back their gratitude or appreciations) happily gave to me. 
And so now I move onto more personal affairs, as today I brave the supermarket hordes to shop for my pre-Christmas get togethers and my family Christmas Day lunch. And even though I know that the supermarket is going to resemble a looting escapade during a zombie apocalypse, this is truly a labour of love now and I will undertake it with a lot of thought and loving devotion, because after all, it is Christmas time and therefore an excellent opportunity to spoil your loved ones and indulge in the finer things in life without feeling guilty. 
I have my menu planned, my shopping list written and I have purposely set aside Christmas Eve to prepare desserts and spend some time with Zoe and Seth swanning about the kitchen cooking up some delicious Christmas fare. I like to do all of the hard work and as much of the preparations before Christmas so that on the day I just have to load up the oven and grab a glass of bubbly. No-one should be slaving away in a kitchen on Christmas Day, that is just downright criminal. The load on the day has to be shared; the kids will dress the table (which Zoe has a turned into an art form), I will fill the oven and carve the roasted beasts, we will all do a little dusting and turning out of pre-prepared sweet treats, Seth will organise some appropriate and festive mood music and Craig, as he always does, will provide a jug of good gravy which he makes with the precision of a surgeon. And voila - we will have ourselves a merry little Christmas family gathering. Nothing more to do on the day but pop open the crackers and enjoy a relaxed meal together, which now that I have written about, am getting very excited for.
​Come on Christmas, I am ready for you to arrive!

So many people have asked me if I think that a remake can be better than an original version of a movie, and my answer is always the same: 'Yes! Of course it can!' With movie technology continually improving, we can now enjoy advanced CGI effects and superior sound and visual experiences, which in short means that we can have a more immersive cinematic experience than we ever could have had before. However, that does not necessarily make the original version redundant or of lesser value and importance, because if I was also asked if remakes were always better the original versions, I would most definitely answer 'Hell No!' 
To this day I still watch a lot of classic movies, and by classic I mean movies from the 1930's to the 1970's. Movies from that time period didn't have a lot of options in the effects and sound department compared to today's standards, so they are often movies that relied on excellent acting and directing to deliver their stories. I have a stockpile of movies on my 'still need to see' list (which seems to be ever expanding and absolutely endless) and around 70% of them would fall into the classic film category. Most of them are very good, some of them are downright legendary and could not be improved upon by a remake, but some of them certainly could. 
To be better than the original movie, there needs to be an improvement on all fronts, and not just in the effects department, because if the storyline is thin then my attention is never held for very long by CGI effects and all of the other bells and whistles that filmmakers feel compelled to throw at movies. For me, there needs to be something fresh about a remake that warrants the movie being remade in the first place. The perspective needs to alter in some way or the story has to become enhanced or given more depth or meaning in a remake. The actors need to be every bit as good and preferably better than the original actors and the director needs to be an avid fan of the original in a way that forces them to keep the integrity of the original intact, in other words it needs to not feel like a director's ego trip, which has happened so many times in remakes. 
There have in fact been heaps of excellent remakes that are deserving of your time, even if you have seen and enjoyed the original version. 
Here is my list of the best movie remakes that I have experienced, in no particular order:
Romeo and Juliet -Baz Luhrmann perfectly remixed this Shakespearean classic by installing a couple of modern heart-throbs and infusing it with a funky fresh soundtrack, and it is slice of pure brilliance. 
Mad Max: Fury Road - I also really liked the original, but the heart-pounding, high octane, adrenaline rush action of the remake was just so damn good, oh and Tom Hardy was in it, definitely a bonus. 
The Jungle Book - Jon Favreau's version of this Rudyard Kipling's classic is a perfect example of how CGI can be used to enhance an experience. It is magical!
Dawn of the Dead - This comedy/ horror homage to George A. Romero from Zack Snyder is a brain eating spectacular, so much blood and tasteless humour! 
Blair Witch - I didn't really like The Blair Witch Project original, but I really got creeped out by the 2016 remake that was simply called Blair Witch. Kept me away from camping for years!
A Star is Born - remade four times, and finally they got it right! The onscreen chemistry  of Coops and Gaga and the modern musical score made this new take an old romance a real winner. 
Ghostbusters - The girls had a swing at it in 2016 and were every bit as good as the boys were in 1984, and they didn't try to 'remake' it so much as have another go at something similar and I enjoyed it a lot. 
The Ring - The 1998 Japanese version was still really good, but the 2002 Gore Verbinski English language remake had an expanded storyline and some extra creepy CGI visuals. The acting was seriously stepped up in this version as well. 
Bram Stoker's Dracula - Dracula has been done to death (pardon the pun) but when Francis Ford Coppola had a go, well it was just magic, finally something Stoker would've loved!
IT - Probably the best horror remake of all time, the effects and storyline have been fine tuned to perfection, unmissable remake material. 
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory -Tim Burton takes us on a delicious and disturbing romp into Willy Wonka's chocolate factory in this accurate realisation of Roald Dahl's classic tale that his own family were involved in creating.
King Kong - Peter Jackson's epic realisation of Skull Island and the tragic tale of Mighty Kong is by far the best version to see for all of it's impressive CGI effects and in depth story telling. 

Craig and I celebrated our 24th wedding anniversary this weekend by getting away on our own. We headed out to a quaint and quiet Bed and Breakfast in Skenes Creek; if you don't know where that is, it's an extremely picturesque location just a few kilometres away from Apollo Bay and a stone throw away from The Great Ocean Road. The excellent location meant that we were able to enjoy the Otway Ranges on our drive there and the amazing coastal drive on the way home, giving ourselves the best of both worlds when it comes to road tripping. 
Craig and I haven't been away by ourselves for a while now, and I think that as the years tick over and things get a little rusty it is really important to escape the daily routine and getaway together at least once in a while, even if it is only for a short time. And I must say that a couple of days of salty air, sandy feet and hand held strolls did not do us any harm whatsoever. In fact, it probably did us the world of good, because we had been a bit niggly with each other in the weeks leading up to our departure; which is kind of par for the course in long term relationships. Sometimes when you've been married a long time, you can just annoy the shit out of each other and you need to find more creative ways to break that cycle of annoyance and remind yourself of why you love this person so much. 
Over my 24 years of marriage, I have found that a few days alone together can be very rejuvenating for a tiring relationship and I always make sure that wherever I stay when I get away with Craig has as little distraction from each other as possible. Farming your kids out with good intentions of spending some quality time alone at home never ever works. Regardless of how amazing your home may be, being at home alone for a romantic weekend is never as good as getting away together.
When you're at home, you really don't have your full focus on each other for very long, it is way too easy to get swept away or distracted by chores that you feel compelled to complete, unfinished jobs or projects, or other mundane things that may be going on around the house. You may have the most terrific intentions of spending quality time together, but from my experience, you'll soon be spending time doing loads of other things and not actually doing anything special together at all. I've done that so many times that it's just not funny, and it's most definitely not the best way to rekindle a little magic into a relationship.
However, when you're in a completely new place that has no WiFi connection, an alluring natural setting and heaps of tasty restaurants nearby for dinner, well that's what I call a recipe for success, and a success it was. The Airbnb that we booked was even better than we had hoped that it would be and boasted a huge outdoor soaker tub, generous self serve breakfast and a late check out. It would've been completely perfect if poor Craig hadn't found the bed a bit uncomfortable for sleeping on...ahh, the trials of being a 6'3" man, you just have to have a huge bed to accommodate that much leg! However, apart from that hiccup, it was a great little escape and a terrific opportunity for us to rekindle the spark and recharge the batteries before the madness of the silly season dominates all of our free thinking and spare time over the coming weeks. 

What the heck is going on? The last two movies that I went to the cinema to see were romance movies. Trust me when I say that I hardly ever go to see romance movies at the cinema and it is the genre list that I had the least amount of movies on for ages, but given the recent spat of not just decent but actually enjoyable romance films, I have found myself going to the movies to watch people fall madly in love with each other and kiss each other all over the face! Seriously what the hell is happening to me? Am I getting soft and doughy eyed? Thank God Halloween is just around the corner, I really need to get back on track with my horror viewing. 
To be fair, I am not completely adverse to romance, I do quite like a bit of the luvy-duvy stuff from time to time, but there is just a heck of lot of really shithouse romance to wade through to get to the good stuff. Any film that plays on matters of the heart is at great risk of getting super cheesy and erring on the side of ridiculous; and sometimes the onscreen chemistry is about as exciting as a helium balloon three days after a party. 
There are actually quite a few elements that romance movies do really poorly and I am getting pretty tired of it. The first and most common mistake, is making the main love interest an alpha male or a 'spirited' female that abuses men all the time. In fact they often put the two of them together in movies as the two lead roles. Come up with something better than that for fuck sake, a jock body and a loud mouth chick are never going to live happily ever after now are they? They may wring a decent screw out of it but that's about the extent of that relationship, so stop implying that is a match made in heaven, it's utter crap!
Don't even get me started on the love at first sight stuff, you should know by now how much I don't want to see that old trope rolled out, and can we stop making villains turn good for the sake of love? Again, that 'gone good' shit won't last, so don't paint happily ever after on that crap sandwich and call it a delicious burger because I ain't eating it! And please romance movie makers, could we stop having people need to change to get the person of their dreams? Ever since Sandy Dee went all hot pants, cigarette puffing bad girl to get rough-house Danny Zuko in Grease to notice her, movie makers have been capitalising on the 'change to find true love' trope which not only annoys the piss out of me, but bothers me even more when idiots try to replicate it in real life as well. If you have to change yourself to get someone to love you, then they aren't the right one for you, and romance movies should never have people losing their identities or morals to find love, it's crass and it's sad. 
The best romances have two people in them that know who they are and just want to share who they are with someone else. Sure a little My Fair Lady action is all good and well from time to time, but we also know that it's old fashioned, archaic and is certainly no reflection of a good 'modern romance' tale. Just like all movie genres, you need to be discerning when it comes to the types of romance that you watch as well because Hollywood is exceptionally good at disguising really tasteless romance and selling it off as funny and plausible; but thankfully, that is happening less and less these days. 

Most of the time I not only feel extremely lucky to have the kind of lifestyle that I have, but I also feel exceptionally guilty when I think about all of the people around the globe that do not have nearly enough of anything in their lives, let alone an abundance of anything. Being born in a first world country does tend to make us all a bit jaded about just how fortunate we truly are and how much abundance we get to experience on a daily basis that we don't really take into consideration. 
When was the last time you stopped to think about the people who don't have access to clean water when you turn on a tap in your house? Do you ever think about how lucky you are to have a flushing toilet or water connected to your home or food on the table every night of the week? Most of us don't think about that stuff very much of the time at all, but we do spend a lot of time complaining about the internet dropping out, or the traffic being too heavy or the line at the check out being too long. Many of us go about with surly and inconvenienced attitudes and angry unwelcoming faces, and totally forget to remember just how lucky we are most of the time. 
I think that many people in developed countries actually have a dreadful case of 'glass half empty' when in fact around 85% of the time the glass is actually overflowing and we are just too spoilt to realise it. When was the last time you had to worry about whether you would be able to eat because of a lack of food?  When have you stayed awake worrying about whether your children could access an education or appropriate medical care and vaccinations? When was the last time you yourself got dreadfully ill and could not see a doctor because there wasn't one to see? And when was the last time that you had to walk for two hours to the nearest well to get some water to drink, or even worse wait in the sun all day for a water truck to come by and provide you with a small amount? I would imagine that you answered never to all of those questions, absolutely never. 
And that makes you lucky; very, very lucky. Luckier than most of the people that are sharing this planet with you. And I think that that is something to keep at the back of your thoughts next time you feel like having a whine about something insubstantial or irrelevant, that your blessings in life far outweigh your misfortunes a lot of the time. Singer songwriter Willie Nelson once said - When I started to count my blessing my whole life turned around, and I do believe that there is a lot of power in thinking abundantly and being grateful everyday.
Try it for yourself, adopt an 'attitude of gratitude' and see how you feel about your station in life after a few weeks. Once you begin to focus on how tremendously full your glass is, I guarantee that you'll be delighted with how rich and lucky you are. And feeling abundant has a wonderful flow-on effect, because you will also start to share that abundance more freely with others, filling their glasses in the process, and guess what? It doesn't cost a thing. It's totally free to change your mindset and focus on how lucky you are, and the benefits are huge!
However, that being said, if you are in fact 'crazy rich' (and 'crazy rich' people know exactly who they are) and reading this, then you definitely have more than you are ever gonna need and you should really pass some of that wealth along to those who do need it the most. Impoverished countries are always begging for substantial donations, and helping others feels so damn good. You could change your mindset and someone else's world as well, and that's definitely something to raise a very full and overflowing glass for! 

How often do we hear about a relationship failing or a marriage ending in divorce? It seems to be happening more and more all of the time. Just last year 47,638 people got divorced in Australia, which means that 2.1% of the Australian population got divorced in 2017, and that doesn't even count the people that just seperated or broke up in a non-marital relationship. When you think about it in those terms, you do have to wonder if people are just giving up too soon on their relationships or if people are just picking the wrong partners to hook with up in the first place. 
The top ten most common reasons for getting a divorce are:

1. Getting married for the wrong reasons (eg. for the money) 
2. Lack of individual identity or codependence
3. Becoming lost in the roles 
4. Not having a shared vision
5. Lack of intimacy
6. Unmet expectations
7. Lack of finances
8. Being out of touch
9. No shared interests
10. Inability to resolve conflicts

Interestingly, no mention of infidelity there, so cheating or being unfaithful is not one of the main reasons that people break up, it is more about a lack of common ground and vision than anything else when you really look at it. Which is why I wonder if perhaps people just give up a little too easily.
I mean there must have been some common ground, shared vision, idea, expectation at some point for these two people to decided to walk down the aisle and pledge their undying love for each other in front of everyone that they knew, and I have to ask - what the hell happened to those feelings? How do two people that completely loved each other (enough to put themselves through a wedding) just  decide to stop loving each other and break up? Was there no sign that this person was going to do your head in before you went and married them? Did you just ignore that and go for it anyway? 
I know that some marriages are certainly better off ending than enduring, but I do think that maybe some people do quit a bit sooner than they should these days. The arrival of online dating and hookup opportunities has made a lot of people wonder if they are just settling, and the lure of a possibly 'better option' is definitely changing the amount of crap that people will put up with in a relationship. You can literally jump onto any dating website or download an app like Tinder and start looking for the next best thing right away after getting out of a relationship. People used to wait up to 3 years to start dating after a divorce but now some couples confess to being back on the dating scene within weeks of a separation in order to 'fill the space' that has been left behind, which is really quite concerning. 
41% of first marriages end in divorce now, 60% of second marriages and 73% of third marriages, which basically tells me that if it sucked the first time, it will probably suck the second and the third time around as well. And although I am not in any way advocating that you should never get married, divorced or remarried, what I am trying to say is that you need to make sure that it is really, truly and 100% absolutely what you want to do before you just start or end a serious relationship.
Breaking up sure is hard to do and staying together can be equally as hard if it just isn't working. I can tell you with all honesty that if I took flight everytime that my husband gave me the shits, that we would've been over a thousand times by now. Staying together takes work, a bloody shitload of hard work but you have to try, and if you've given it all that there is and it still isn't working than it is totally okay to walk away. Just don't give up too easily, because sometimes it's not as bad as it may seem at the time, and tempers, just like pie crust, soften after a few days and you don't want to throw away something really great because of a few hard yards. In short, what I am trying to say is, that it is totally okay to give up if it's really not working, but just don't give up too soon. 

A dear friend of mine showcased her art for the first time this week in Ballarat. It was a mixed media exhibition entitled When I Grow Up which was produced by an art collaborative called SHEILAs which stands for Strong, Honest, Exceptional, Inspirational Lady Artists; the collaborative consists of local female artists of all ages. The art depicted in When I Grow Up was a reflection of each lady's unique experience of growing up; reflecting on what they had wanted to be, who had influenced them and who they had aspired to be when they were younger. Needless to say, it was terrific and gathered a diverse crowd of art enthusiasts and admirers, and it was fabulous to see so much support for my lovely friend who is generally known for being a quiet achiever and a generous spirit who always gives of herself in epic proportions to us all. 
The exhibition certainly got me thinking about what I had aspired to be when I was younger, and about the different people that had personally influenced me along the way. Growing up, even though I am one of five children, I do remember being on my own quite a lot of the time. My parents were very often busy since they both worked and were also extremely house proud, which did take up a big chunk of their time. I never really felt like my mother understood me completely as a child but I did always feel valued by my father who would often take time out to chat with me and as we got older, shared some of his deeper thoughts with me. Looking back on it now, I can see that he was probably the most influential adult in my life as a child.
My siblings were all older than I was and quite busy with their own lives when I was small, and they have always been outwardly vocal about how much of a burden I was as a child so I cannot identify any of them as influential to me; in fact I do believe that seeing me fail would have made some them exceptionally happy, which pretty much puts my relationship with my siblings into perspective. 
In light of this, I did spend a lot of time by myself growing up and that did allow me plenty of time for daydreaming, lollygagging and fantasizing, which was always a very big pre-occupation for me. ​For as long as I can remember I have always been interested in story telling and had wanted to be a writer from a very early age. I remember being mesmerized by picture storybooks when I was small and then became obsessed with writers like Roald Dahl, Judy Blume and Robyn Klein when I got a little older. ln primary school I would write all kinds of quirky stories and I was quite good at spinning a tall tale as well. I got into  a lot of trouble for lying as a kid, but I didn't often do it maliciously, it was just that my stories were always so much more exciting and interesting than my real life was, and storytelling was something that I was actually good at.
In secondary school I loved all of my literacy based subjects and spent much of my time reading books and writing bad poetry that no-one would ever read about the plight of being young and privileged! I had some truly terrific teachers over the years, really intelligent and inspirational people that not only encouraged me to write and tell my stories but who also took me under their wing and showed an interest in me as a person as well. I can fondly recall being invited over to my English Literature teacher's house with two other students to meet his wife and have a very adult dinner party at the end of year 12, because we had in fact all become very good friends. I felt like I finally had a voice and that people cared about what I was saying and as a young adult, it was pretty exciting. 
​Back then, I always thought that I would one day be a writer, teacher, lecturer or public speaker of some variety; but I equally adored the chance to perform and was very interested in drama, dance, the theatre and (no surprises here) all things cinematic. And how did that all pan out for me? Well, I won a Rotary public speaking award, I had some of my teenage angst poetry published by the Ballarat Writing Company, I started a teaching degree that I never finished, I tried writing a children's book that never got published (and rightfully so, it was trash) and I got a Diploma in Professional Writing and Editing, which did allow me to enjoy some small print publication success, but certainly nothing substantial. In the last four years the only thing that I have written aside from this blog (which I do love writing) has been some mediocre drunken poetry that no-one should ever have to read; and although I do like what I do for a living, I didn't exactly land where I had first aspired to be. 
I would be lying if I didn't admit that I would still love to work in theatre or cinema, and that I still do aspire to one day write that novel that has been burning within me for so very long, and just because I haven't done those things yet, doesn't mean that I won't do them either. I still have plenty of time to fill in the gaps and achieve my childhood dreams, but for now I am more than content to live out my dreams by regularly haunting the cinema and theatre and filling an enthusiastic seat, writing my blog twice a week and sharing my hopes, dreams, memories and aspirations with you all. Besides, there is no written law that says that we must be what we set out to become when we were children, we don't have to be the person that we pledged to be when we cried 'When I Grow Up,' we just have to be who we are, right now... and there is nothing wrong with that. 

German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche once quoted that people don't want to hear the truth because they don't want their illusions destroyed; meaning that humans prefer to be lied to. Having a personality that it somewhat 'tell it like it is' myself, I can assure you that this quote is absolutely 100% accurate and that people do not ever really want to hear the truth about themselves or about the things that are going on in their lives. They may tell you that they want the truth, but don't be fooled by that one, they most definitely DO NOT want to hear the truth. As Jack Nicholson famously shouted in A Few Good Men, they can't handle the truth and it will just about always freak them out and send them into a frenzy of hate, self doubt and/or depression.
People are far more comfortable with you going along with the flow, keeping your thoughts to yourself, accepting things as they come and generally not 'rocking the boat' as it is often termed. As humans we do have a strong tendency to adhere to the 'flock with birds of a feather' ideology. We conform, almost on autopilot, to groupthink situations, often succumbing to pressures that we don't really agree with just so that we can maintain the status quo and have a sense of belonging. 
There have been a few times in my life when speaking the truth has gotten me into a lot of trouble. I rarely mince my words, and I like to be honest about my thoughts and feelings; I don't really see the point in going along with things that I find upsetting, unfair or just plain ridiculous. However, as I said before, people do not want your honesty, so being skilled at 'telling it like is' is not really seen as a very good social skill to have; well not if you want to fly with the flock anyway.  
This 'skill' of mine has on a few occasions led to me inadvertently upsetting or offending people. Sometimes I have felt bad about that, sometimes I have not, depending on the situation of course. However, as I get older I realise that Nietzsche was not only right about people not wanting to hear the truth about themselves, but also that his advice should probably be followed if you don't want to continuously alienate the people in your life. 
And this is where the real conundrum lies, because I don't actually want people in my life that I can't be honest with. I value people being genuine and up front with me and I don't want people feeling like they have to follow any social norms or pretend to be anything or feel anything that they don't in order to be in my life. I respect people for being forthright and I would expect that the people that I have in my life would feel the same way. Of course, I understand that there is a fine line between speaking your truth and being a totally intolerant asshole all of the time as well. There are certain things that never need to be spoken about or commented on; and yes, a white lie here or there is absolutely necessary when it comes to us all getting along, but are we all generally over editing ourselves to appease the flock most of the time?
I do feel like many people probably do drastically over edit their thoughts and opinions in favour of 'flying with the flock.' Everyone is so scared of being seen as the 'opinionated' one, or the 'difficult' one that they just adopt an insincere tolerance to things that they do not agree with and an allowance of others to behave as they like and dictate how things should be, even though it may fly in the face of their own personal values or ethics. I can assure you from personal experience, that over-editing yourself and being ingenuous about how you feel will inevitably only lead to unrest, anger, resentment and hostility, which is hardly a terrific result or positive outcome. 
I suppose that the only really zen thing to do when it comes to speaking your truth is learning to become more adept at identifying when it is and when it is not appropriate to do so. Every situation and person is unique and therefore the levels of honesty that can be used varies constantly from situation to situation and person to person. Much easier said than done I know, because I have spent a good deal of my spare time overthinking things that I have said and removing my foot from my mouth on a regular basis.
It is important to find a happy medium in life where you do feel comfortable to stand strong in your own values and truths, but in doing so, to also make sure that you are not making everyone else feel uncomfortable when you do. If you succeed at doing this, please let me know how so that I too can become better at finding the 'happy medium' where I am sometimes flying with flock and sometimes flying solo as well without making any of the birds feel bad about themselves. 

CALL ME BY YOUR NAME
Release Date: 2017
Rating: MA 15+
​Running Time: 132 mins 
A coming-of-age romance drama directed by Luca Guadagnino and written by James Ivory. Based on the 2007 novel of the same name by Andre Aciman, Call Me By Your Name was released at the 2017 Sundance Film Festival and has since received numerous accolades for its melancholic and powerful portrayal of a first love romance. 
In the Summer of 1983 in Lombardy, Italy, 17 year old Elio meets Oliver, an older handsome American that is working for Elio's father. Against the sumptuous sunburnt landscapes of an Italian summer, Elio and Oliver become involved in a passionate love affair that will change both of their lives forever. 
This film feels like a foreign language/ art house movie, and perhaps that is what makes it so good. The script never feels like it is conforming to cinematic or societal expectations, it is completely genuine and honest in its portrayal of budding first love discoveries and gay relationships which makes it uniquely forward thinking and exceptionally refreshing. 
The 80's era is portrayed perfectly and the two lead actors, Timothee Chalamet and Armie Hammer, are absolutely flawless as the infatuated lovers. I was so impressed by Chalamet's notable onscreen presence, he will definitely be one to watch in the future and Hammer shows us some serious acting chops that I have not seen before as well. 
Call Me By Your Name is nothing short of a modern gay classic and is powerful viewing that shouldn't be missed. 
FINAL SAY: Is it better to speak or die?
4 Chilli Peppers ​

There is a line in the song Everybody's Free (to Wear Sunscreen) that says - Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly. I have been thinking a lot about that line lately, not because I read beauty magazines because I most certainly do not, but I have really been paying a lot of attention lately to the incredible job that advertising campaigns, the media and the money making 'fat cat' corporations of the world do when it comes to making us regular people feel like we are not enough.
The constant barrage of subliminal and non-subliminal messaging that we are bombarded with on a daily basis is just astronomical, and they all seem to be aimed at making us all believe that we are not conforming, not cutting it or that we are just not very good looking. And, it is not surprising to know, that these constant attempts to make us feel lousy about ourselves have been extremely effective, because not only are we (the consumers) buying more beauty, fitness and diet products than ever before, we also have far lower levels of self confidence about the way that we look and the way that we generally feel about ourselves as well. 
Once you step onto the treadmill of media-fed fear and self loathing, it is a never ending cycle of ugliness. You will catch yourself saying horrible things to yourself like: I am too fat, I need to change, why don't I look like the women in the magazines?....blah ....blah ....blah....and boom, they have won, they have got inside of your head and they have won. They have got you self doubting and not really liking yourself very much anymore, and once that begins, so do the attempts at 'fixing' yourself, and that is damn good for business but not so good for you. 
The path of self improvement is paved with good intentions but so very often it just lines the pockets of very bad people. There is more than one reason that models in beauty magazines are so thin, and it doesn't have a lot to do with looking good, because a lot of them don't really look that good at all in real life, it has everything to do with creating an unattainable and unrealistic ideal that will force us consumers to keep on spending and pushing in some mad pursuit of an unattainable goal. We actually buy in to the idea that some photoshopped, emaciated, plastic surgery victim looks amazing, because we have been programmed to think that fake bodies look great. We sucker ourselves into thinking that being wafer thin, fat lipped, big titted or getting a washboard stomach will complete us and make us more satisfied, and so we spend money willingly to do it. Beauty has become so sad and so removed from reality; and every day more and more people buy into it's glossy and fraudulent ideal. 
And when people can't attain these unrealistic goals, what do they do? Well, they just keep on spending! They spend on binge food, or comfort food or a therapist to try and rebuild their smashed self esteem, but the bottom line is that they spend. And that is all that any of this is about really, money. Beauty magazines, advertisements, campaigns, the media in general, they are all constantly pushing you to reach for your wallet or purse so that you can be more, be better, have more and look amazing. You never see any of them saying, you are perfect just as you are or you don't need to change a thing or you don't need to be any more than you already are; uh of course you don't, that shit doesn't sell! 
I guess what I am trying to say is that yes, beauty magazines will only make you feel ugly, but so will a lot of other things and some people as well, and you have to stand tall against it. Don't let the fat cats win, be true to yourself, love who you are and never believe that anyone in a beauty magazine really looks that amazing in real life; well not every day anyway.
Ignore the haters, enjoy your body, eat well and don't feel like you need to buy anything to be better than you already are. No product can ever replace your own peace of mind or your sense of self worth and you should never sacrifice believing that you are perfect just as you are for any fad, fetish or fanatical behaviour that the media can try and entice you with.
Just be you and be perfectly free, that's about as beautiful as anything can ever get in my mind.