Made it! 
Yes, I have happily ran the gauntlet that was Christmas 2016. I sang Christmas carols, went to see the twinkly Christmas lights around town, baked gingerbread and shortbread, ate many a roasted beast, opened extravagent gifts and had more than my fair share of champagne and Irish whiskey tipples. I have come out the other end of all of this with the realisation that we place far too much time, money and energy into one day of celebration (well more like three for me) but that's besides the point. What I am trying to say is that I saw a lot of stressed out faces, a lot of annoyed individuals and a lot of eye rolling this season and it made me feel a bit sad to be honest. 
Don't get me wrong, I totally got my merry on and mostly I was having a pretty terrific time; but I did see a lot of other people not having as much of a good time and clearly not feeling the Chistmas spirit very much at all. A lot of people that I encountered seemed to be generally enduring the gathering together process, rather than actually enjoying themselves, and well....that was a bit concerning to me. If you aren't having any fun at your Christmas get togethers, then you are doing it all wrong! 
If everyone is 'enduring' then the recipe is not correct. People should be all 'knees up mother Brown' at Christmas time, and most importantly they need to be really nice to each other because it is supposed to be the merriest holiday of the year. It is most certainly NOT the time to flick your bitch switch and get all fucking hostile and moody. It is absolutely imperative that you keep your personal issues on the back burner at Christmas, otherwise everyone walks away feeling like a piece of shit, swearing that they will never get together again and the whole point of even gathering together in the first place becomes utterly pointless. 
What you should be doing at Christmas gatherings is eating like a king and not worrying about your caloric intake. You should also have a least one good stiff drink (a lot more if you can get away with it) and give everyone at least one really good meaningful hug over the course of the day. You should get at least one awesome thing that you love the shit out of, anything on top of that is gravy. And you really must take some time out to reflect on how fricken lucky you are to have so many opportunities and luxuries and people to spend your time with. If you do all that, then your Christmas gatherings will always be fabulous, lose sight of that stuff, get caught up in the minor details or have a nasty turn and you will have gone all wrong with it. 
I must say, that in spite of some rather odd behaviours that I witnessed, I had a really tremendously good Christmas. I was so spoilt it was ridiculous! I ate some bloody delicious things, and I was generally being mighty merry in every way possible. It was a much better Christmas for me this year than the last one was, and I am now looking forward to a spectacular New Year as well.
I am loving the silly season this year!

THE JUNGLE BOOK
Release Date: 2016
Rating: PG
Running Time: 106 mins 
Here is a version of Rudyard Kipling's classic tale about the adventures of Mowgli the Man-cub that even he would've loved. This visually stunning, live action CGI was directed by Jon Favreau and produced by Walt Disney Pictures, who also produced the 1967 animated film of the same name, which is quite frankly left in the dust in the wake of this beautifully realized and captivating version. 
An orphaned human child named Mowgli has been raised in the wild by a wolf pack and a panther mentor. When he attracts the unwanted attentions of the ferocious tiger Shere Khan, he is sent away by his animal guardians to the safety of the nearest man village, but Mowgli does not want to leave the jungle or his animal family. 
Simply put, the animals are just 'out of this world' amazing in this film, I have not seen anything that comes close to this yet in terms of computer generated wildlife. I was completely spellbound, and spent half of the movie kicking myself that I hadn't gone to see it on the big screen. The animals have been perfectly voiced by Ben Kingsley, Idris Elba, Scarlett Johansson and Christopher Walken, but my favourite by a long mile was Bill Murray's marvelous portrayal of Baloo, the chilled out, honey craving bear that befriends Mowgli. 
This is high quality, engrossing, intelligent family entertainment, that should not be missed. 
FINAL SAY: For the strength of the pack is the wolf, and the strength of the wolf is the pack. 
4.5 Chili Peppers ​

Officially, today is the first day of the holidays for me. I departed work yesterday in spectacular fashion; belly full of good tucker (paid for by the boss thanks very much) adorned with crazy generous gifts from my brilliant work collegues and feeling just the right amount of drinky-happy. I came home and seriously high fived myself because woo-bloody-hoo, the holidays have arrived and the fun is just about to begin! Over five weeks of 'me-time' stretches out before me, and the possibilities of what to do with that time are endless. I just love the beginning of a long break, you really do feel like you have an eternity of free time ahead of you and it feels so damn good!
There are only a few short sleeps until the big event rolls around, which I am super pumped about. Zoe and Lachlainn will be joining us here at home for Christmas, and since my mother-in-law no longer feels compelled to provide the obligatory roast of the day, we are going to indulge in some excellent pork belly and champagne right here for lunch on our own, which will be spectacular I'm sure. Why am I so sure? Because I am the one cooking it that's why, and I do a pretty mean pork belly roast. 
Over the next few days I am planning to clean, cook, bake, wrap gifts and just chill out around the house. I will more than likely also be partaking in a few tipples along the way, adventuring in to town to check out the Christmas lights and overindulging in one of the only biscuits that I can safely eat due to it's rice flour content, the humble Christmas shortbread.  
Bring it on! I am so excited, so many good things to look forward to. Let's make this year the best one ever! 

Christmas has a way of making people go a little bit kooky. Generally rational people get all worked up about the fine (and mostly insignificant details) and suddenly the whole thing doesn't feel like a peaceful upcoming event, but more like some kind of extreme gaunlet to be endured over a period of a few days. People shopping in stores are hideously impatient, impolite and irate, the list of to-do's seems insurmountable and now, sadly, it has all become too big and completely stressful.
That is not  what Chistmas should be like. It also should not be anything like all of those crazy American versions of Christmas that you see in Christmas movies and TV shows. In my opinion, those tightly wound Christmas' that appear in the media are designed by the advertising industry to make us all feel like we are failing to deliver 'The Perfect Christmas'. Any depiction of Christmas that involves perfectly decorated trees and impeccibly wrapped gifts, creamy, boozy, egg-nogs by the fire and rooms that look like Martha Stewart threw up in them, have nothing to do with what Christmas should be about. Sure it's great to have some decorations out, a Christmas tree up and some gifts to share, but it isn't the most important thing and it shouldn't be the defining thing about the jolliest holiday of the year. 
When I think of the perfect Christmas, I am in my own home surrounded by the people that I love the most. We have opened some gifts by the Christmas tree, and we are just enjoying each others company. We are sharing a really special meal together, a meal that goes on for hours and involves many glasses of good liquor. There is plenty of time for playing, clowning around and chatting, and even an afternoon nap before tucking into leftovers in the evening for tea. The day ends with full bellies and fuller hearts and lots of hugs and giggles. That's what I think that Christmas should be like, everything else is just uneccessary fluff. 
We all want it to look amazing, but the truth is that it really doesn't matter what it looks like. Aim for harmony, kindness, generosity and above all gentleness because we are all really tired and in need of a holiday about now. Leave the flamoyance to those that really know how to do it, save yourself the stress and just have another champagne! 

Yes, that's correct, there are only 10 days left until the big event - Christmas Day! School has ended for the students at my school and everyone seems to have shaken their sillies out, especiallly me who was clearly getting bogged down with other people's crap, playing precious and not focusing on the important stuff. It's totally okay to do that from time to time, especiallly at this time of the year when we are all quite tired and fragile.
​We all get our hang ups and feel tested from time to time, you just can't linger there on the edge of crazy town for too long, or else you'll start to assimilate and turn into a full time nutter. No thanks I say, being stressed and anxious is bloody hard work, I haven't felt that drained in an age! 
This hectic week has not allowed me any spare time to ponder anything anyway, which has probably been the best case scenario in truth because some distraction from my own negative inner diatribes has been just what I've needed.  That distraction came in the form of two graduation ceremonies, one for Seth and one for the Year 6 children at my school.
There is nothing like a joyful coming of age ceremony to really put things into perspective. Watching all of those bright young hopefuls (especially my own!) take to the stage and share their goals and aspirations is a really wonderful thing. Seth's class did an amazing dance mash-up that was just terrific, it left me with my first real smile in days.
Just seeing the pride on their faces as they accepted their graduation certificates really did lift me out of my funk, that's for sure. There is a real magic that surrounds the young, their energy and life force is truly tangible and it is virtually impossible to feel unhappy when you are around them at their best. 
I was also insanely spoilt by my students this week as they said farewell to me for another year. They showered me with an abundance of generous gifts; and the kindest words were written inside of lovely Christmas cards that were genuinely touching to receive. How could I still be in a funk after that I ask you? 
On top of all that good mojo, there are only three working days to go until I am free for the Summer and the silly season alike, and lets be honest, if that doesn't leave me in a feel good mood, then nothing can! I am really looking forward to Christmas and can't wait to spend some quality time with my children over the holidays, I need to feel release, and it is so close that I can almost taste it. 

I have always thought of myself as being a resonably easy going individual, but it turns out that that is not the truth. I am obviously very good at deceiving myself in regards to my own personality, because when people tell me how they actually see me, I am always horrified about what they have to say.
According to other people, I am quite difficult to read and often come across as negative, mean and unpleasant, in others words, I am a horrible, moody, difficult bitch. This revelation has truly shocked me to the core, mostly because I have tried so very hard over the years to snuff out the ugly sides of my personality and to try and support the people around me. Clearly I have done a totally lousy job of it if people still find me so difficult, nasty and hard to please.
I can't even begin to tell you how much this information has plagued me. Being a huge over thinker at the best of times, it has driven me to exhaustion pawing over every aspect of my personality in an attempt to decipher what it is about me that is so difficult to like; and I tell you, that kind of thinking really makes a person want to toss themselves under the next passing bus.
​There is nothing zen about this state of mind, it is the total opposite to zen; it is depressive, dark and soul destroying. I am like a bad, scratchy, tape that is stuck in a loop, replaying and rehashing conversations in my mind relentlessly. This way of being is surely a type of madness, for it seems to offer me no peace or relief of any kind, only further concern.
The other night I actually cried myself to sleep for the first time in many, many years. I was just so completely overwhelmed and exhausted by the oppressive thoughts of others. I am loathe to admit it, but I fear that I may be suffering from some form of depression. 
However, I am also keenly aware of my state which means that I can change it. I just need to quieten the voices in my head for a while that's all, and learn to take the opinions of others on the chin. I am sure that there is some good to be gleaned from all of this 'self truth' that I have been exposed to, and when the dust settles and the hurt feelings soften, I will probably be a better person for it.....I suppose. Unfortunately, it is time to put my metal-skin back on once again, which is disappointing, but clearly I haven't outgrown it at all and I feel that it is the only way that I can see a way forward at the moment.
Go hard or go home Barb. 

Wow! Everything has kicked up a serious degree, or should I say 10 degrees? And not just the action, but also the weather too. Damn lucky that I got myself all zen on the weekend because it has been all guns firing at work and around the home front this week. Everything is in Christmas and 'end of the year' amplification mode, and it has made the days a shit load longer at both ends. My days have been starting at 5.40am and ending around 8pm when I usually collapse onto the couch utterly knackered.
​Between breakfasts, morning teas, lunches, extra social events, endless phone calls, Christmas carols, shopping, baking, finishing off everything at school for 2016, concerts, meetings, excursions, two Grade 6 graduation ceremonies to attend to whilst trying to wrangle Seth's books, uniform and orientaton for catholic college in 2017, I am running on strong coffee and dark chocolate and lots of it! 
​The days are rocketing by now, jam packed and hurtling through time and space at break neck speed. Everything will come together in one final delightful symphony of Summer bliss when the down time commences on Wednesday 22nd December - my first day of holidays. I think that I am going to sleep until lunch time on that day because I am going to need to. Until then, off to the coffee machine I go....things to do!

Totally kicked it down a massive notch this weekend and focused back in on the zen parts of my life. Spent some time practicing yoga and being mindful, also spent some time in complete whiskey oblivion binge watching TV series, and sure enough, things have taken a turn for the better!
The weather has been fine and clear, perfect for spending some time outside in the garden frolicking amongst the flowers and enjoying the fruits of my labours in the vegetable patch. I even took a trip in to the local nursery to buy some pretty flowering pots to pep up our garden beds, and also planted my next veggie harvest of tomatoes, cucumbers, zucchini and lettuces. Craig mowed the lawns and I weeded the garden beds, and now the yard looks immaculate again; which is always uplifting I think. 
Craig and I have stopped being at each other throats and have made our peace with our drained financial resources. I do think that Craig's wisdom teeth extraction may have also helped with keeping the peace, because he was too sore and too drugged to be bothered with arguing anymore, and that certianly worked in my favour.
On the financial side of things, we really only set up our extra savings account for a rainy day anyway. Our rainy day just happened to come before Christmas and totally wipe us out, but at least we had the savings to cover it, which is certainly something to be happy about when you really think about it. Sure it's a shame that we didn't get to spend it on a few days away or something cool for the house, but at the end of the day, we really don't have anything to complain about. Our money problems have been annoying, but certainly not catastrophic. 
It is way too easy to get bogged down in your own troubles and not look at the big picture, which is precisly what I have been doing for the past few weeks. I promised myself that I was going to zen my way through to Christmas, and I am still totally determined to do that in every way, perhaps now more so than ever.
​Sure I may not have any cash in the bank, but my bills are paid and I have a Summer holiday break heading my way in only 16 days time, and that is what I am focusing on for the rest of December. Only I have the power to turn my head and my attitude around, and that's just what I have done this weekend, and not a minute too soon. 

THE REVENANT 
Release Date: 2015 
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 156 mins 
Inspired by Michael Punke's The Revenant: A Novel of Revenge, this American Frontier drama had me transfixed from the opening scenes. Skillfully directed by  Alejandro González Iñárritu, The Revenant showcases the magnificence of the American wilderness, the struggles of the Native tribes-people and the flawless performances of Leonardo DiCaprio and Tom Hardy, making this an atmospheric, pulse-racing and grimly affecting story. 
It is 1832, and a team of hunters and trappers are ambushed by a tribe of Arikara Native Americans that wish to steal their pelts. The trappers are forced to flee, taking as many pelts as they can salvage, and beginning an arduous and dangerous journey back to their base - Fort Kiowa. Along the way, one of their best trackers, Hugh Glass (Leonardo DiCaprio) is savagely attacked by a grizzly bear which forces the group to rethink their tactics. 
If I called this film bleak, that would be a massive understatement, this movie is uncompromisingly harsh.  However, embedded within all of it's atrocity is an incredible story about the endurance of the human spirit and the relentless determination of a vengeful man. DiCaprio superbly captures the soul of Glass, a man that not only endures immense physical abuse, but also suffers unimaginable grief. If Leo doesn't get an Oscar for his efforts here, then something is very wrong in the world!
FINAL SAY: As long as you can grab a breath, you fight. You Breathe....keep breathing. 
4.5 Chili Peppers ​