Last week we welcomed a new kitten into our lives. Salem, our black eight week old kitten arrived in Enfield just ten days ago after a screaming drive home from Melbourne to relocate with us. Born from a stray cat and delivered inside of a lawn mower catcher in my brothers backyard, Salem is anything but meek and has been tearing up our home, scratching up the place and making herself more than comfortable in our now very kitten proofed home. 
I cannot deny that I seriously under-estimated how much energy kittens can have, especially since we had a geriatric cat for about a decade that did nothing but eat, snuggle and sleep. Salem does those three cat things a lot as well, but she also jumps, runs, skitters, drags,  chews, destroys, pounces, climbs, bites and scratches. And all of this is apparently very normal for a now nine week old kitten, but boy is it tiring! I am feeling a new level of fatigue that I haven't experienced since my children were toddlers. 
Kittens need a tonne of attention, that's the bottom line. And they require so much of your time, energy and commitment if they are to become well adjusted, content and loving adult pussy cats. In the last ten days alone we have had to navigate settling Salem into her new home environment, a trip to the vet for vaccinations and chipping (which made her so lethargic that I thought she was going to die) and then to add icing to the already quite stressful kitten cake, she also had a bout of explosive kitten diarrhoea which was not only messy and smelly, but truly gross and distressing.  
Has it been amazing? Yes at times, it has been extremely cute, cuddly and enjoyable. But mostly, it has been tiring, taxing, stressful and troubling. And so it should be right? We have literally introduced a wild animal into our home, what did we really expect was going to happen? Sure I had visions of tiny kitten cuddles, morning snuggles and sweet head-butting behaviours teamed with gentle but cute play, and yes we did get all of that, but we also got a tiny bundle of claws and teeth! A pint sized, furry, killing machine that appears to be hellbent on wearing us out, wrecking all of our stuff and keeping us up at night. 
The other day Seth was at home sick, really quite sick indeed and in need of some rest and recovery time.  He said that he was more than happy to do a spot of kitten sitting whilst he was resting at home. When I got home from work I asked how Salem had gone without Craig or I around. Poor Seth proceeded to explain that whilst we were out Salem had bouts of extremely high energy which involved zooming about the house, leaping off the furniture, scaling the fly wire screens, biting his feet, jumping on top of his head and attacking him on and off throughout the day. Needless to say, Seth did not get a lot of rest with all of that going on and he was also sporting some seriously welted battle scars on his stomach, arms and feet; clear evidence that Salem was indeed going bonkers and attacking him roughly. This was the point when we realised that our tiny Salem was going to be a handful and that the 'settling in to her new home' honeymoon was well and truly over!
And what do the experts say about all of this? They say that this is all very normal stuff, and we just have to stay calm and ride it out, that the kitten phase only lasts about a year so we should try to make the most of having a baby in the house. A YEAR! Wtf? I am going to look like that crazy cat lady off the Simpsons if this continues for a year! Walking around aimlessly in an unkempt state and talking gibberish to myself with a cat hanging off my back all of the time. I am praying that our little hellbender settles down a little bit sooner than that, but we will just have to do what the cat whisperer says and find our peace with it. 
When you adopt a pet you have to take it on completely. You sign up to see it through the vet visits, the bouts of explosive diarrhoea, the destruction of property and in our case the mental kitten stage! And you do that for the duration of its lifetime, no matter how it all turns out. When you become a pet owner, its a little like being a parent all over again, you don't get to tap out or check out and you have to make your peace with things going wrong from time to time. And I really cannot deny that in spite of Salem's hellbender antics, those delightful pussy cuddles, feathery soft fur pats and delightful tiny facial expressions do make every bit of the effort utterly worthwhile. 

​HELLBENDER
Release Date: 2022
Rating: R 18+
Running Time: 86 mins 
When it comes to low budget independent films, Hellbender has everything and everyone else trumped. While the rest of the world was lollygagging about during the covid-19 lockdown period, the Adams family were making this movie. And when I say making it, I mean writing, directing, filming, editing, costume designing, music composing and also acting in the lead roles. The trio - composed of John Adams, Toby Poser and Zelda Adams, collaborated on this low budget horror and the results are deeply impressive. 
A mother and her teenage daughter live a solitary life on an isolated mountain. They have their own band, they forage their own food and they appear to live a very peaceful and natural lifestyle, except for one detail. They are hellbenders, and if you want to know what that is, then you'll need to see the movie!
What Hellbender delivers may be janky in effects, but it more than makes up for that with its brilliant cinematography and gripping atmosphere. I was hooked at the 10 minute mark and I think that this little hidden gem deserves  lot more attention and applause. Toby Poser and Zelda Adams are incredibly good in front of the camera here, delivering a mother-daughter, coming of age folk tale like no other. 
FINAL SAY: Growing up is hell. 
3 Chilli Peppers ​

Mother's Day always gets me thinking about all of the wonderful women that I have shared my time, my triumphs and my tribulations with. I reflect on the women that have inspired me with their wisdom, kindness, generosity, patience and genuine care, not only for me but also for the the world around them. In my mind, Mother's Day is not just about whether you are an actual mother or not, it's also about whether you are the type of women who can demonstrate the qualities of being a good mother to others. 
Some women may never actual become mothers themselves, but they spend a great deal of their time caring for others. They bring out the best in others, they inspire and engage us with their mere presence and they nurture and develop the wellbeing of others. If that isn't embodying the qualities of a mother then I don't know what is. However, what I do know is that you certainly do not need to carry a child in your womb to embody the essence of motherhood and become a role model or inspiration to others. 
According to psychologists, in order to be be a good mother (or parent) you need to have a few skills and traits. These traits (not surprisingly) have nothing to do with how much money you have, how big your house is or how many toys or designer clothes you can afford for your family. In fact, most of these traits come from the wellspring of emotional intelligence - you know the stuff that I am always banging on about on my blog? Yep, turns out that emotional intelligence not only makes you a great person, it also makes you a kick arse parent as well. So let's take a closer look at the top ten great parent traits.
1. Patience: a bit of a no-brainer right? As mothers we need to have patience in buckets. Kids are messy and noisy and are often really annoying as well and this requires the patience of a monk to navigate. If you aren't meditating yet, I suggest that you do asap!
2. Multi-tasking: this is a hotly contested topic these days, because mindfulness teaches us that doing lots of things at once isn't actually that good or productive, but whoever said that clearly hasn't had a couple of kids to wrangle! If you can't deal with lots of things going on that you mostly have zero control over then motherhood probably isn't for you! 
3. Encouraging: Just like adults, kids are riddled with self doubt and fear. They need a lot of propping up and guidance and they also need to learn early on that it is okay to make mistakes and get things totally wrong. Encouraging resilience instead of perfection is a terrific way to support your kids and be a super mum. 
4. Intelligence: Hard to teach them if you don't know yourself. Having mental, physical, emotional and social intelligence is not only going to make parenting a shitload easier, it's gonna make you a bloody legend! Get smart and be smart!
5. Flexibility: As a mother you will need to be adaptable and resilient. When kids are around things can (and will) change in a heartbeat and you need to be able to adapt and accept that whatever will be will be, just like Doris Day said. 
6. Leadership Skills: Okay, no matter how much you want to, you can't boss the kids around, but if you have strong leadership skills then your kids are more likely to want to do the right thing on their own steam without you having to bark orders at them like a drill instructor. With positive role modelling and leadership, children will generally be able to lead more efficiently themselves. 
7. Dependability: You have to be good to your word if you want to be a good mother. Kids can smell bullshit a mile away and they do not take kindly to being let down by wayward or unreliable adults. They will also be more honest and trustworthy teens if you set a good example in the early years.
8. Compassion: Kids need comfort, they need a shoulder to cry on and a listening ear to confide in. Regardless of whether they are wrong or right, Children need to feel like their parents are in their corner and their feelings need to be validated just like adults do, so offer compassion without the side of judgement or shame. 
9. A Sense of Humour: Laughter is the best medicine - it's true. Teach your children to laugh at the world, themselves and their worries. By keeping things light you will reduce the stress and anxieties of the world and allow your children to find the smile in any situation. 
10. Self Awareness: Kids have no idea how to act, mostly they just go with whatever they think will work at the time, often they are way off the mark. Many times they will just mimic whatever you do, or your reactions to situations so you need to have a handle on your own modelling and choices. Work on your own self awareness so that you can be the best role model for your children. 

Now have you got all that? Easy right? 
There is no doubt that being a good mother/parent is a tough gig that requires your utmost attention and effort, but my god - the rewards! The rewards of having a wonderful relationship with your children far outweighs any difficulty or challenge that may arise along the way.
And as I said earlier, I have experienced all of these beautiful and loving things from many other women in my life and some of those women are not even mothers yet. So don't despair if you never got these things from your own mother because there are millions of amazing, loving, generous and nurturing women in the world that can offer you all of these things and so much more. 
So go on, be a great mother, or be like a great mother, or be a great woman or better yet, be all of those things - just be great! And on that note I will say - Happy Mother's Day to all of the wonderful women in  the world who give over of themselves to support, teach and nurture the lives of others. You are bloody amazing! 

PORTRAIT OF A LADY ON FIRE
Release Date: 2019 
Rating:  M
Running Time: 122 mins 
Every now and then, if you're lucky, you will happen upon a movie that is so enchanting and so beautiful that every frame feels like a piece of art, Portrait of a Lady on Fire is that movie. When it comes to romance, passion, adoration and fascination this historical French language film wins on all fronts, delivering something that is not only deeply contemplative but visually stunning as well. 
Marianne, a painter, is commissioned to paint a portrait of a troubled young woman named Heloise. Heloise's mother has been unsuccessful in getting her to pose for paintings and encourages Marianne to act as a hired companion to try and keep her portrait painting a secret. It is not long before Marianne becomes enchanted with Heloise, who is betrothed to another and the two women begin a controversial love affair.  
If you are looking for something that captures the subtilties and beauty of affection and love then this slow burning romance will sweep you away completely. It certainly swept me away, I was deeply moved by this film and really loved how powerful it made the simple act of observing another person. 
Noemie Merlant and Adele Haenel are unforgettably gorgeous as the two intertwined women and they are well supported by Valeria Golino  and Luana Bajrami who portrays another convincingly troubled character named Sophie. The film depicts women in various states of joy and peril and it is all delivered perfectly through the poised eye of director Celine Sciamma. This is truly unforgettable film. 
FINAL SAY: When you're observing me, who do you think I'm observing?
5 Chilli Peppers ​

I always feel like I have so much time when I start a school holiday break, but two weeks is never really as long as you would think, especially when you have lots of people to catch up with and appointments to keep. However, I am certainly not complaining, I am always deeply grateful for the respite and reset time and having a couple of weeks off to gather my bearings and reboot my system every 10 weeks or so is truly a god send. 
​In the last two weeks I have really used my time efficiently, swinging between obligation, organisation and pure indulgence, and I have loved every single moment of it.
The highlights for me were:

• Having cocktails with friends.
• Enjoying afternoon tea in the sun at the botanical gardens.
• A freshly baked morning tea at a dear friend's house.
• Walking the neighbourhood most fine days.
• Spending Easter with my loved ones.
• Hosting a pizza/movie night.
• Catching up with far away friends for brunch.
• Going to the ELVIS exhibition in Bendigo with the family.
• Sipping a 'Dark and Stormy' in a swanky bar with a buddy.
• Getting my hair and eyebrows tizzied up.
• Finally organising the the cable guy to hook up the Ethernet to my TV - so long Wi-Fi drop outs!
• Enjoying two meat smoker events.
• Going to the movies.
• Watching 16 films and finishing eight TV series.
• Reading four books.
• Cleaning out my jewellery cupboard and wardrobe - long overdue!
• Eating out at delicious restaurants four times.
• And I also took Craig to pick up his new whip for his 50th birthday - a brand new cherry red Mustang.

Never was there a happier man than Craig when he pulled up in our driveway in that car, smiling from ear to ear and more gleeful than I have seen him in an age. Craig has wanted a flashy car for as long as I have known him, which is almost 30 years now. He has saved and worked his arse off to make it happen and to see him get something that he has wanted for so long made my heart so full of joy. It was the icing on the cake of my already incredible holiday break. 
And so, like it does at this time every year, a new term begins and I return to the hamster wheel of work  for another couple of months, refreshed and relaxed after my epic break  but still always longing for the days ahead that offer me another round of respite and indulgent joy. 

I WANT YOU BACK
Release Date: 2022
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 111 mins 
A romantic comedy directed by Jason Orley from a screenplay written by Isaac Aptaker and Elizabeth Berger that actually delivers just the right mix of rom/com to work. 
Two recently dumped strangers team up in attempt to win back their exes through unscrupulous and underhanded methods. 
The storyline here is simple enough, but the cast are truly terrific and deliver their roles with tonnes of humour and likeability which really elevates this rom/com from predictable and basic to the halls of genuine enjoyment.
Charlie Day and Jenny Slate play the roles of the two devious and heartbroken friends with a plausible onscreen chemistry and they are very well supported by Scott Eastwood, Manny Jacinto, Clark Backo and Gina Rodriguez whom all believably fall into the messy love entanglement that ensues.
I Want You Back is no game changer, but for a rom/com this is a solid and enjoyable watch. 
FINAL SAY: We're each others sadness sisters. 
3 Chilli Peppers ​

So, I have happily been living my best life. Doing lots of things, getting out amongst the people and having a bloody lovely time. Dinner with friends, a big live music event, an athletics event, a day at the spa and woohoo, with my birthday coming up I was getting pumped for a few nights out, a long weekend (which always occurs around my birthday) and a visit to Melbourne to see Moulin Rogue. 
And then on Saturday poor Seth tested positive to covid-19 and everything had to come to a grinding halt and we were all thrown into seven days of isolation. Oh well, no point crying over spilt milk as they say. Such is life - c'est la vie! Things happen and I have clearly had a very good run over the last couple of months so I have nothing to complain about, and besides as yet (fingers crossed it stays this way) Craig and I have both been testing negative so far; so as long as I don't contract the virus myself over the next four days, I could still make it to Moulin Rogue and all will not be lost. 
​This is the first time that Craig has had to work from home and it's a whole new world for him. Finally, he is getting to see that not being on site is far from ideal and that things are actually ten times harder and twice as annoying to co-ordinate from a distance. Also, I am not sure how I am going to put up with his crazy antics for the next week because, although he is amusing himself around here being loud and a boisterous, he is actually annoying the shit out of Seth and I  who just want to chill out, rest and watch movies.
I don't have to work from home this week, because I really can't, so I have taken the week as sick leave. So I just want to enjoy the down time to be honest. However, it's a bit hard to do that when you've got a bear sized man meandering about the house shouting out random things, talking to himself about work and just generally poking everyone in the ribs because he can't manage being locked up at home and it's only Monday for fuck sake! 
God only knows what state we all be in by Friday if he doesn't manage to calm his farm a bit. Because although a week of no work and relaxation sounds like heaven, it is anything but when you have to be locked in with someone who is not coping well with the situation and cannot read the room and gauge their actions based on the people around them. 
This could actually be a very long week....

BO BURNHAM: INSIDE 
Release Date: 2021
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 87 mins 
Written, directed, filmed, edited and performed by comedian Bo Burnham during the Covid-19 pandemic lockdown of 2020, this unique film is a collection of Burnham's songs and skits in response to his deteriorating mental health and the world's obsession with social media during isolation and enforced lockdowns. 
This entire film feels deeply personal, and that's because it is. We literally get an intimate glimpse inside the head of Bo Burnham, delivered through original music, stand up comedy and meta-commentary. What Burnham manages to do in 87 minutes is take his audience on a ride, delivering something that feels so fresh and genuine that you can't look away.
It's a little bit theatrical, quite heavy on the sarcasm, with a smattering of dark humour and some beautifully bleak and honest storytelling about the social and emotional effects of isolation, in a word it's riveting!
Critics lauded the special's presentation of the Covid-19 pandemic, which he never actually mentions by name at any stage during the film, and he became the first person to win three Emmy's individually in a single year after he took the directing, writing and music direction awards in 2021. 
Bo Burnham: Inside was definitely my favourite comedy of 2021 and it shouldn't be missed.
FINAL SAY: White woman's Instagram!
​4 Chilli Peppers ​

At the moment I have been doing a lot of work and putting a lot of consideration into the ways that I can support the children in my workplace to become more emotionally intelligent. First and foremost, for anyone to become more emotionally intelligent they need to understand what it means to be emotionally intelligent and what being aware of and in control of your emotions can offer you in the long term.
I myself have spent a great deal of time over the last five years practising, refining and building my own levels of emotional intelligence and it has really made me a much kinder, more patient, more accepting and generally better person that I used to be. When I think back to the way that used to behave and the things that I used to say, I practically flush with embarrassment! The way that I chose to present myself to others and how little tolerance I had for, not only my own emotions, but also the emotional needs of others, was actually quite disgusting and unacceptable. 
Unfortunately, I was not taught to be tolerant, kind or aware of my own emotions or the emotions of others when I was younger and as a consequence I turned out to be a bit of a judgemental asshole in my teens and early adult years. It actually took me many years of deprogramming and reprogramming to eventually arrive at where I am now. And now, I value emotional intelligence, kindness and patience above everything else, but I had to work hard to understand that and I wonder every day who I may have become if only I had learned these things a lot earlier. 
As a society in general, we teach children from a very early age to value intellectual intelligence (book smarts) and physical intelligence (sporting prowess) over spiritual intelligence and emotional intelligence. Even though we all know that we need all four intelligences to live a balanced and joyful lifestyle, we just don't really spend a lot of time fostering children with their ability to be spiritually or emotionally intelligent. And why do we do this?
Honestly, I think that it is because a lot of adults themselves are not very spiritually or emotionally intelligent, and you can't teach what you don't know. We also as a society don't generally see those attributes of spiritualism and emotional awareness to be as valuable as being book smart or physically put together, so we tend to feel comfortable with not teaching children these skills directly.  However, I do see some fundamental problems with this thinking, and I also see a lot of children struggling to find meaning and strong relationships in their over stimulated and over-informed worlds. 
Children today have abundant and never ending access to information thanks to devices, social media and high speed Wi-Fi. Which is great, but they also have, as a consequence of this and all the COVID-19 lockdowns and shut ins;  less face to face interactional ability, less understanding of feelings, thoughts, and appropriate emotional responses within themselves and others, less connection to community and less of a sense of belonging to something bigger than themselves. In short, kids today are becoming more confused, jaded and unaware of how they present in the world than ever before. And in my opinion it is the responsibility of all parents, caregivers, educators and support people to up their game around educating young people about their emotional intelligence and emotional wellbeing. 
There are five main areas that I have identified as areas of great need in children today and I believe that we all need to shift our attention and teachings towards these key points if we want to improve emotional intelligences. 
Self Awareness: The ability to recognise and understand your moods, emotions and drives, as well as their affect on others. Hallmarks - Self confidence, realistic self assessment ability and a self depreciating sense of humour. 
Self Regulation: The ability to control or redirect disruptive impulses and moods. The propensity to suspend judgement - to think before acting. Hallmarks - Trustworthiness and integrity. Comfort in ambiguity and openness to change. 
Motivation: A passion to do things for reasons that go beyond reward or status. A propensity to pursue goals with energy and persistence. Hallmarks - Strong drive to achieve. Optimism in the face of adversity. Organizational commitment. 
Empathy: The ability to understand the emotional makeup of other people. An ability to treat people according to their emotional reactions.  Hallmarks - Expertise in building and retaining friendships. Cross cultural sensitivity. Calmness in the face of adversity/ discomfort. 
Social Skills: Proficiency in creating and maintaining relationships with peers and adults. An ability to find common ground and build rapport. Hallmarks - Acceptance of change and differences. Understanding of the nuances of friendships and the 'give and take' dynamics of strong relationships. 

However, as I said earlier, you can't teach what you don't know. So I suppose as adults and stewards for future generations, we must first look at ourselves and address what types of emotional strengths we are delivering and depicting at the front line of society ourselves.
Are we being emotionally intelligent?
Do we meet the key 'emotional intelligence' criteria listed above? 
Are we helping or hindering our youths to become the best version of themselves?
These are questions that we need to be willing to ask ourselves and address if we are to set a respectable standard. The days of "don't do as I do, do as I say" aren't going to cut it for our highly informed young people, they demand and expect better than that, and why shouldn't they? And in response to that, we adults now need to lead by exceptional example, which means that each and every one of us has a responsivity to improve our own emotional intelligence so that we can teach, empower and educate others. 
So please, do yourself a favour and start working on your own emotional intelligence now, you are going to need it in days to come, trust me!

DUNE: PART ONE
Release Date: 2021
Rating: M
Running Time: 155 mins 
Easily the most anticipated movie of 2021, Dune: Part One was originally scheduled for release in 2020 but was delayed due to the COVID-19 pandemic which only served to heighten the hype around this blockbuster science fiction film. The third attempt at an adaptation of Frank Herbert's epic novel, Denis Villeneuve's Dune: Part One sports a massive ensemble cast and some unforgettably spectacular visuals whilst also managing to deliver something that could best be described as ambitious and seriously intriguing. 
Paul Atreides has valuable magical abilities that he inherited from his mother, but he is also the heir to a noble family bloodline. The House Atreides has been tasked with ruling an inhospitable world where the only thing of value is "spice," a magical substance with many uses that is also capable of extending life and enhancing consciousness. Coveted across the universe, spice is sought after and killed for, making Paul's destiny treacherous and deeply  important. 
Set in the distant future where inhabitants can access interstellar travel, this is an  exciting and emotionally charged hero's journey tale. There is a lot going here, both visually and audibly. Quite beautiful to behold, Dune looks incredible in every way and the actors are all perfectly cast here, especially Timothee Chalamet who just shines as Paul Atreides.  What this movie does do is set up a really strong and sound foundation for future Dune movie efforts to ride upon, and for that reason it feels a little slow at times, but I honestly believe that the pay off is yet to come here. 
What I did see, I liked a lot. What I heard, I also really liked a lot because Dune's soundtrack  is definitely Oscar worthy. Bottom line is that I definitely want to see more of this, so well done Villeneuve, you now have my full attention. 
FINAL SAY: Dreams make good stories, but everything important happens when you're awake. 
4 Chilli Peppers ​

A lot of people were probably really happy to see the back end of 2021. It was another year of COVID-19 madness wasn't it? From vaccinations to pandemic variants, we were subjected to more lockdowns and interruptions than ever before. Communities, workplaces and even families were divided by the decision to vaccinate or not vaccinate and we all tried very hard to keep our heads and our kindness in check as we navigated through another very strange year indeed. 
However, I don't want to whine on about all of the bad things that happened in 2021, I would much rather celebrate the great things that happened and reflect on all of the joys that I managed to squeeze into my time. 
Craig and I were just saying how blessed we were to be operating in virtual 'business as usual' mode during 2021. Unlike many people, we survived relatively unscathed. We didn't have any cut backs to our paid employment, we didn't have to navigate much work from home because we were both considered to be essential workers, we also thankfully did not catch COVID and neither did anyone else in our families and we all managed to get vaccinated with minimal side effects. I would say that these statistics alone would make us more fortunate than 70% of the people on the planet and certainly places us in no position to whine about just how bad 2021 was.
So, there will not be any complaining from me about 2021, instead I am counting my blessings, thanking my lucky stars and acknowledging just how grateful I am for all of the tremendous endeavours that I did get to enjoy  this year.
Here are some of my personal highlights from 2021:

Pretty fair to say that I have had a really lovely year actually.
There is a lot here to celebrate and appreciate that's for sure. And on top of all of that, I have also managed to squeeze in:

• Daily meditation.
• 61 books.
• Yoga 5 times a week.
• 213 movies.
• 10,000 steps a day.
• Nine trips to the cinema.
• 142 TV series.
• 30 delicious restaurant meals with family and friends. 
• A daily French lesson on Duolingo
• Brain Gym everyday for 10 minutes a day.
• And.... I lost 5 kilos and drank 1.5 litres of water a day.

Oddly, 2021 may well have been one of my most productive and focused years to date, go figure. 
Now, let's see what 2022 will bring my way!

DON'T LOOK UP
Release Date: 2021 
Rating: M
Running Time: 138 mins 
An American satirical science fiction film, written, produced and directed by Adam McKay that hosts a massive ensemble cast of Oscar winning actors and comedians. After receiving mixed review from critics upon it's release in December 2021, Don't Look Up went on to become a cult favourite, receiving four Golden Globe nominations and making the top ten movie list of 2021 from The National Board of Review and American Film Institute. 
Two astronomers attempt to warn humanity that a giant comet is on a collision course with Earth that will set about the total destruction of human civilization. However, with a world that is more invested in what pop culture icons are doing with their spare time, the fatal news is not properly received or heard. 
In my opinion this is one of the funniest and sadly also one of the most depressingly accurate films of the year. Slammed for being too heavy handed about total world annihilation, I think that this film was lost on people that don't have a good sense of humour, because it made me laugh out loud so many times. Sure it's not joyful material and the overall message about what the general population have the capacity to digest is undoubtedly provoking, but it is a science fiction comedy for goodness sake, so just have fun with it! 
The cast is insanely good here, from Meryl Streep to Leonardo DiCaprio to Jennifer Lawrence; to name but a few, the performances are solid and the story is genuinely engaging and entertaining. I really liked this movie and it will probably make my top ten of 2021 as well. 
FINAL SAY: You guys, the truth is way more depressing. 
4 Chilli Peppers ​

Last week we all escaped to the countryside together. In contrast to the sights and sounds of our beloved Enfield homestead, we headed into the Dandenong Ranges to explore the mountains, waterfalls and forests of Victoria. It's an area of the state that I have really not spend much time in at all and with Seth's exams ending, Craig and I clocking our  27th wedding anniversary and Zoe and Ben just needing some respite from work, it seemed like a good a time as any to escape the rat race for a few days and recharge the batteries in nature. 
This short break offered everyone the opportunity to be outdoors, commune with nature and see some fresh, new sights. We witnessed cascading waterfalls, climbed steep mountains, gazed at rushing river waters, admired grand redwoods and breathed in everything that is good, clean and rejuvenating about being in the wilds. 
​2021 was a very restrictive year in general and we hardly wandered very far from our homes for over a year, so it just felt good to be able to be out and about, and the down time was certainly welcomed by all. The only problem with having a short break in November is the need to return to work and re-establish a routine. I found that I very swiftly got accustomed to being off the clock and living a life of leisure and abundance, but we are only another three weeks away from the school term ending, so I honestly think that I've got this. 
And as always, now my attentions are drawn to Christmas which is only 27 days from today. Every year it sneaks up on me and every year I sit down and write on my blog about how much there is to accomplish before Christmas Day arrives. And just as unsurprisingly, the day always does arrive and I am always prepared and ready when it does, so there is really no point in fretting about it or being concerned about how much will be done because it is really quite safe to say that it will all be done, like it always is and it will all go swimmingly well and we will all have a lovely time. 
So I now happily turn my attentions to Christmas with a joyful form of anticipation. As a family we have so much to look forward to in 2022 and I feel like things are only going to move from good to great from this point forward.
The future is looking super bright. 

I recently read a really a beautiful piece of writing called Things My Mother Didn't Tell Me But Should Have by the British poet, author and teacher Warsan Shire. The writing came to me just after I had watched the movie Never Rarely Sometimes Always and it felt like the two forms of art were in some ways almost talking to each other about the challenges of being a young woman in the world today.  I also really loved the piece of writing so much that I just wanted to share it with you all, perhaps it will reach someone at the right moment if I pass it along. 

Never give any kind of pleasure to a boy you wouldn't give to yourself.

Kiss like a promise and wait for the other person to break it. 

Human beings are not ships, you cannot save them from sinking if they don't want to be rescued from the floodwaters. 

Loving someone that doesn't give a damn about you isn't sexy: it's misplaced energy, also known as self-destruction. 

Don't ever treat anyone like a refugee from a civil war; they will come back from battle and leave you as wounded as if you were the one who had been paid for military service.

Forgiveness isn't putting the weapon down; it's learning how to kiss the person pulling the trigger, not just a quick peck on the cheek, but a full one with tongue. 

Let the dead be dead. 
They have no answering machines, no phonelines:
if you call them, only the ground will ring.

Never trust a boy who already packed condoms ready in his coat pocket before he even asks your name.

When the world tries to break your back with its weight, get a stronger spine. 

Your father left us because he was ashamed for not being the one that gave birth to you. 

Even oceans misplace their anchors sometimes. 

Never give a man permission, you shouldn't have to. It should be mutual. 

Stop treating your body like currency - don't pay anyone who doesn't deserve it.  

NEVER RARELY SOMETIMES ALWAYS 
Release Date: 2020
Rating: M
Running Time: 101 mins 
Written and directed by Eliza Hittman, this candid and honest portrayal of a teenagers struggle with an unwanted pregnancy is seriously affecting. After its release at the Sundance Film Festival in January of 2020, Never Rarely Sometimes Always was selected to compete for a Golden Bear Award. The film won the Silver Bear Grand Jury Prize and has since received unanimous acclaim from critics and viewers alike. 
Autumn Callahan is seventeen and has just discovered that she is pregnant. Without anyone to confide in except for her cousin Skylar, the two girls embark on a trip to New York to try and find a solution to Autumn's problem. 
This film is unsettling from start to end, but it is also an extremely realistic portrayal of the challenges and burdens that many young girls face in todays current climate. 
The casting here is perfect with Sidney Flanigan and Talia Ryder delivering believable degrees of strength and fragility in their challenging roles as vulnerable small town girls in the city. The entire film teeters continually between tender and troubling but it also feels so true and genuine; making it powerfully unforgettable.
FINAL SAY: I want to make sure that you're safe. 
4 Chilli Peppers ​

March has kicked off with a flurry of celebration, festivity and fun. Since I last posted things have been hectic in the most delightful of ways. Last weekend Zoe and Ben joined us in Ballarat for a belated Chinese New Year dinner celebration on Saturday evening and then we all attended Summer Salt together on the following Sunday. I cannot even begin to tell you how much joy live music brought back to my life on that day. You really do forget just how marvellous it feels to be in a huge crowd of people all singing together and getting into the vibe of it on a brilliant sun-shiny day. It honestly rejuvenated me in ways that I cannot even explain in words, it was just so damn good for my soul!
The line up of performers was stellar and everyone that performed was clearly just as happy to be in front of a live audience again as much as we were all glad to be back in a crowd of adoring fans. We all greatly enjoyed Nat Vazer, Montaigne, Boy and Bear, John Butler, The Teskey Brothers and The Cat Empire together, sank a few drinks and swayed to the music as the sun went down on a day that none of us will forget in a hurry.  It was a wonderful way to farewell the Summer, share some time with loved ones and reconnect to the electric energy that you can only get from large music festivals once again. 
On Monday night I hit the couch to take in the 2021 Golden Globe Awards which was a bit of an understated event due to the COVID-19 restrictions. However, all things considered I still watched it all, enjoyed seeing all of the cast and crew in their own homes (some looking more glamorous than others) and was genuinely not at all surprised by the outcomes (listed below).  I think that my favourite recipient of the evening was Sacha Baron Cohen  who deservingly won Best actor and Best Motion Picture in a musical/ comedy motion picture for Borat Subsequent Moviefilm.  I think that Baron Cohen may be one of the most interesting and intriguing people on the planet to me right now, and he never fails to make me smile when he is on screen. 
This weekend, also the March labour day long weekend, I hit the highway on Friday night and headed to Zoe and Ben's in Bendigo to attend a weekend yoga festival. I absolutely love yoga, but I gotta say that after being in downward facing dog for the better part of 5 odd hours on Saturday, when I arose on Sunday morning I felt pretty stiff and was feeling the burn in some muscles that I didn't know even know that I had anymore. However, it was an awesome couple of days of getting zen, stretching, meditating, eating great food and spending time with my beautiful daughter and her partner. I even got to take in the Artists market, Farmers market and Mill Market in Castlemaine on Sunday on the way home, so I came home with a swag of goodies and even managed to get some early Easter shopping done as well. 
Today I have quietly spent International Women's Day resting and rebooting my system for the week ahead and reflecting on how wonderful my last few weeks have been. I can't even express how genuinely grateful I am to have been able to enjoy all of these special moments and quality time with the people that I love so much, it has really been a time of great celebration and enjoyment for me. Here's hoping that I can keep this high vibe of mine rolling for the rest of the term; I got the momentum going now, so I say - let's just keep on rolling....
2021 Golden Globe winners
Best motion picture, drama
Nomadland 

Best actress in a motion picture, drama
Andra Day, The United States vs. Billie Holiday 

Best actor in a motion picture, musical or comedy
Sacha Baron Cohen, Borat Subsequent Moviefilm 

Best motion picture, musical or comedy
Borat Subsequent Moviefilm

 Best director, motion picture
Chloe Zhao, Nomadland

Best actor in a motion picture, drama
Chadwick Boseman, Ma Rainey's Black Bottom

Best limited series or TV movie
The Queen's Gambit 

Best actress in a limited series or TV movie​
Anya Taylor-Joy, The Queen's Gambit 

Best supporting actress in a TV role
Gillian Anderson, The Crown 

Best actress in a supporting role in any motion picture​
Jodie Foster, The Mauritanian 

Best TV series, drama
The Crown 

Best motion picture, foreign language​
Minari (USA) 

Best actor in a TV series, drama​
Josh O'Connor, The Crown 

Best actress in a motion picture, musical or comedy
Rosamund Pike, I Care a Lot 

Best TV series, musical or comedy​
Schitt's Creek

Best actor in a TV series, musical or comedy​
Jason Sudeikis, Ted Lasso 

​Best original score, motion picture
Trent Reznor, Atticus Ross and Jon Batiste - Soul

Best original song, motion picture​
Io Si (Seen), The Life Ahead 

Best actress in a TV series, drama​
Emma Corrin, The Crown

Best screenplay, motion picture​
Aaron Sorkin, The Trial of the Chicago 7 

Best actor in a limited series or TV movie
Mark Ruffalo, I Know This Much is True  

Best motion picture, animated​
Soul 

Best actress in a TV series, musical or comedy​
Catherine O'Hara, Schitt's Creek

Best supporting actor in a TV role
John Boyega, Small Axe 

Best actor in a supporting role in any motion picture
Daniel Kaluuya, Judas and the Black Messiah 

THE TRIAL OF THE CHICAGO 7
Release Date: 2020
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 130 mins 
An historical real-life drama written and directed by Aaron Sorkin and released on Netflix due to the COVID-19 pandemic. The Trial of the Chicago 7 went on to receive wide critical acclaim for its excellent screenplay, stellar performances and its modern parallels to the 1960s. 
Seven men find themselves on trial for various charges surrounding the uprising at the 1968 Democratic National Convention in Chicago, Illinois. 
This is one of the most interesting and engaging courtroom dramas that I have seen in an age and the incredible cast are really bringing out their best here. Sacha Baron Cohen practically steals the show in every scene that he is in and even landed himself a Golden Globe nomination for Best Supporting Actor due to his amazing performance. However it must be said that the cast is across the board, with incredible and notable performances delivered from Eddie Redmayne, Alex Sharp, Jeremy Strong, John Carroll Lynch, Yahya Abdul-Mateen II, Mark Rylance, Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Frank Langella. 
The Trial of the Chicago 7 is a dramatization of a significantly important event that not only resonates with current political events but also demonstrates the power and passion of the people when it comes to human rights. 
FINAL SAY: We carried ideas across state lines. Not machine guns or drugs or little girls. Ideas. 
4 Chilli Peppers ​

With work officially out of the way for the moment, I can now safely turn my attentions to Christmas. It is time to focus on sharing some special moments with loved ones and indulging in all of the best things that life has to offer with my friends and family; and trust me when I say that I have had a pretty good start!
Christmas always brings about an acute awareness of how fortuitous and blessed I am in my life. When you have the means to gift others, eat the most rich and extravagant meals and not have to focus on how you are going to afford to do that, then you're bloody blessed!  And Christmas always makes me feel like I have so much to be grateful for. So for me, it's always an important time to give back, pay forward and make a really grand effort to let others know that I see them, care for them and want to share my time with them.
So far I have had a wonderful Japanese dining experience with my mother, my nephew and his family, I have visited a spectacular winery outside of Geelong with some work friends and indulged in many delicious wines and woodfired pizzas and I have even managed to complete all of my Christmas shopping, write all of my Christmas cards and wrap all of my gifts - so underneath my Christmas tree is now jam packed with goodies to share and enjoy with everyone. Yep, it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas and I am getting excited, not just about sharing some quality time with my darlings but also about all of the delicious fare that I am going to get to eat! 
Christmas food should be delicious in my opinion. Your Christmas meal should comprise of something that you've put some effort into creating and is worthy of sharing with your loved ones.  For me this year, it will be a perfectly roasted pork belly with all of the jazzy roast trimmings and for dessert a fabulous family favourite, a chocolate cake that is a combination of cake and pavlova and tastes like heaven.  I will spend time prepping on Christmas Eve, and it will not be a chore, not even in the slightest, it will be a pleasure. And to top it all off I will make a couple of Christmas cocktails to enjoy throughout the day. 
Nothing says 'Christmas in the summertime' like a good Christmas tipple, and this year I think that it will be about pimping up the Prosecco and making some Christmas themed Cosmopolitans. So here are the recipes that I will be using if you need a little tipple inspiration yourself. And please do make sure that you enjoy a very merry, bright, special and magical Christmas with your loved ones this year. 
May the season be kind to you and all of yours; and cheers to you all!
CHRISTMAS COSMOPOLITAN
Half of a pomegranate
40mls vodka
10mls Triple Sec
15mls Lime juice
I orange to serve.
Fill a shaker with ice, squeeze the pomegranate juice through your fingers, then add everything else except the orange. Shake well, strain into a martini glass and garnish with a strip of orange. 
PIMPED-UP PROSECCO
I orange
Half a lime
A good squeeze of pomegranate juice
Half a passionfruit
Quarter of a grapefruit
A splash of elderflower cordial
I bottle of Prosecco
Squeeze the orange, lime and grapefruit into a jug. Add the cordial, pomegranate juice and Prosecco. Scoop the pulp from the passionfruit half into the jug and stir. Serve in chilled champagne flutes. 

​IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE
Release Date: 1946
Rating: PG
Running Time: 130 mins 
Based on the short story "The Greatest Gift" by Phillip Van Doren Stern, this vintage Christmas fantasy drama from Frank Capra has become traditional viewing during the Christmas season and has won a place in thousands of hearts since it's release in the 1940's. 
The story revolves around George Bailey (James Stewart), a man who is contemplating suicide on Christmas Eve. His guardian angel Clarence intervenes by showing George what his community would look like if he had never existed. 
Although the movie wasn't a box office smash when it was released, in spite of it's five Academy Award nominations, it has since gone on to be recognized by the American Film Institute as one of the 100 best American films ever made.
And, it is true, this is certainly an inspiring and touching story, that will bring a tear to your eye and restore your faith in humanity around Christmas time. It's a Wonderful Life is a magnificent and uplifting classic that has a wholesome moral message, making it a perfect and squeaky clean viewing choice for the entire family. 
FINAL SAY: Remember, George: no man is a failure if he has friends. 
3.5 Chilli Peppers

It has almost been ten days since my operation and I am just beginning to resurface from the anesthetic, drug and pain induced coma that I have been existing in ever since the doctor removed my uterus. And wow, I really have to say that having a hysterectomy has completely topped the charts on my 'shittiest life experiences yet' list. There is nothing more sobering, more painful or more difficult to adjust to than having one of your major organs removed from your body, and this entire experience has made me realise just how truly unwell I was for quite some time because the state of that revolting uterus was anything but healthy. 
​I have to be honest, the only other time that I have ever had to go to hospital for a major or life changing procedure was to deliver my children so it would be fair to say that I am certainly no veteran of the knife or the ways of the surgeon. And hopefully, this will be the last experience that I am going to need for a very long time (praying forever) because I really did not enjoy having the hysterectomy, waking up just after having the hysterectomy or the first ten days of weird crap that has followed the hysterectomy.
What actually happens to the space that is left behind after you have had an organ removed from your body? Well, I can tell you that it rapidly gets filled up by all of your other oozing organs that are just happy to have some breathing room back again and what that means is intense weirdness; crazy intense weirdness as your body tries to adjust to what is now that the new norm. And I know that my other organs would undoubtedly be celebrating the exit of my hideously enlarged uterus and its various attached components because the darn thing had gotten so large that it had literally fused itself onto my bladder, spreading out like a disgusting blob and taking over every crevice of my abdomen that it could seep into. It seriously reminded me of the movie The Blob when I heard about my uterus' unquenching penchant for bogarting my entire pelvic region. A gross gelatinous abnormality, living right there inside of me! How fucking disgusting is that? 
Anyway, that bitch is gone for good now and has taken with it every period that I was ever destined to have. Can I get an Amen? What I now have left behind are two ovaries, which may well be floating about in the space inside of me anywhere for all that I know about what actually happened to me, but the doctor assured me that they were healthy and that if I kept them I would have a healthier and more natural menopause. And apparently preserving my ovaries will also ensure that I still continue to produce estrogen, thus saving me from facial hair, a deeper voice and the possibility of ever growing a penis - just kidding I don't actually think that last one can actually happen, but who wants to take any chances at this stage right? I just got rid of my bloody uterus the last thing I want right now is a dick and balls! 
So yeah, all aboard the female hell express, next stop menopause! I mean come on, really? It just never actually ever stops for women does it? First the periods, then the childbearing, then the hysterectomy and now the menopause, and I'm not even 50 yet so this all feels rather premature to me. However, I must admit that for all of my hating on the actual procedure of the hysterectomy, I think that once my body stops being weird ass central that I will actually be glad that I have had it done. Not only did I get rid of The Blob, but I may even be able to have an abdomen that doesn't look like a swallowed a beach ball one day. That day is certainly not today though, because my post-op belly looks so disgusting that I can't even deal with the sight of it at the moment. It's black and blue and that gross yellow/ green that bruises develop as they heal and don't ask me how this is possible, but my abdomen also genuinely seems bloated, tight and yet also flabby at the same time - how is that even possible? Another hysterectomy mystery I suppose!
You know, I stupidly thought that nothing would ever feel as unsettlingly abnormal in my body as the feeling of being pregnant (which literally felt like I was incubating an face hugging Alien embryo inside of me) but pregnancy has nothing on the continuous shifting, lilting, reconfiguration and strange involuntary realignment of my innards right now. I'm actually half expecting to wake up with an ovary sticking out my cheek one morning. I can feel my insides moving about and jostling for rank in there and quite frankly it's straight up horrible. Sort of a mixture of nausea, gas, cramps, aches and a lot of asking myself 'what the hell was that?' and 'that's normal right?'
However, in true Spicywatch fashion, I have resigned myself to the fact that this too shall pass and that one day over the next few weeks I will eventually wake up and not feel like a very freaky laboratory experiment anymore, but more like myself again.
​These are my current meditation mantras, and call me crazy, they do seem to be helping me to remain optimistic and on track to a full recovery. Yep, I'm on my way to complete wellness and I'm not stopping until I get there:

• Pain is part of growing.
• Everything in life is temporary.
• Worry and complaining changes nothing.
• Your scars are your symbols of strength.
• Every little struggle is a step forward. 
• What's meant to be will eventually be.
• The best thing you can do is keep going. 

Another Mother's Day rolls around and offers all of the mothers of the world a little time to reflect on their own relationships with their mother and their children. For as long as I can remember, I always wanted to be a mother and have children of my own, I never imagined that I wouldn't have kids one day. And that was certainly not because of any external pressures or expectations that I felt to have them, I just really wanted to have children because in all honesty, I have always really liked children.
Generally, I find children to be quite fascinating and often interesting to be around. Sure they can be like drunk adults with all of their brutal honesty, random vomiting and shitty coping skills but let's face it, when they are at their best little kids are just plain adorable. However, for the ultimate ego booster, there is nothing quite like seeing your own children all grown up, especially when they are bloody amazing and inspiring to be around; it really does put the icing on the motherhood cake. 
And I have to say, my children have actually been two of the best teachers that I have ever had in my life because I have learned more about myself and how to deal with others through them that I have learned through anyone else and that is probably the biggest plus to motherhood of all. In fact now that I think about it, my children have taught me about a lot of things that I doubt that I would have mastered as well as I have without their help along way. 
Firstly, I have completely gotten 'over' the preciousness of my physical self since I have become a mum. There is nothing like pregnancy, labour and the consequences of those two things combined to help you to get over the state of your physical body. Stretch marks, saggy boobs, flabby tummy, crappy uterus? Who cares? The physicalities are a mere blip on the radar of motherhood. Things that would have bothered me immensely about my body prior to having children are in the 'could not give a shit' basket now. Had one visit to the labour ward? Well then you've had them all and after a couple of dozen people have looked up your clacker and half of them have had their hand in there, well you just don't really care as much about stuff like that anymore. The old 'my home is your home' saying, is more like 'my body is everyone's body' after becoming a mum and you just can't afford to get hung up about it or you'll become a raving loony, so you just learn to let go and go with it.
My children have also taught me that it's okay to make mistakes and to not be perfect. Every new mother wants to be the perfect mother, but the perfect mother doesn't exist and trying to be one will just make you tired, frustrated and miserable. I have learnt that doing the best that I can with what I have is enough and apologising when I fuck it all up has worked an absolute treat for me. I have become so comfortable with my imperfections as a mum that I can now say to my children without any shame - 'I'm sorry and I wish I had handled that better' or 'I know that I am not at my best and I am sorry for that.' And they are fine with that, they don't expect me to get it right all the time, just like I don't expect them to, so I suppose that I have learned to accept imperfection as a kind of perfection in itself and that's something pretty amazing that motherhood has given to me. 
I have also learned incredible patience, unusual kindness and intense levels of overwhelming pride and gratitude from my children that nothing else in the world has ever given me. I have discovered that I am not the centre of the universe, although sometimes I still want to be. I have learned that my children need to be their own people, do their own things and be with people of their own choice and it has nothing to do with me whatsoever, and that is a relinquishing of power and control that I have mastered thanks to my children.  
I have learned that losing is not actually losing, it's learning. I have learned that most things don't require my comment or input at all and I have learned to pick my battles wisely and with great forethought (aka I no longer shoot from the hip) which I thank my children for assisting me with.
I have learned so many important and valuable things from my beautiful and wonderful children and I can say without a word of doubt that being a mother has made me a better person, a better wife, a better friend and a better daughter to my own mother as well. I'd be lying if I said that it has all been easy, but it has all been interesting and rewarding like nothing else that I have ever done before. And I have to say, damn I'm glad that I have experienced being a mother in this lifetime, what a genuine pleasure it has really been. 

Not sure that I need to be snacking out on anymore treats given the amount of self baked goodies that I have been inhaling since I went into self isolation three and a half weeks ago, but here we are - it's Easter again which means hello chocolate Easter eggs and hello hot cross buns! Ah the time to eat sugar and carbs with wild abandon has arrived and if you're stuck inside with these alluring goodies all around you, well then you're going to be indulging, so just go with it! The time to worry about spreading waistlines and a couple of extra kilos is most certainly not now; we can all focus on that further down the track. So for now I am just concentrating on enjoying my Easter long weekend at home with my two lovely boys. 
And what does an Easter holiday look like during a pandemic? Well, very bloody quiet for one thing since most the world has been forced into a mandatory lockdown situation. I know that the Easter Bunny has been confirmed as an essential worker this Easter, however it will no doubt be a challenge for the bunny to reach everyone during these difficult circumstances, and that combined with all of the enforced social distancing laws is more than likely going to mean a lot less frolicking about and Easter egg hunting for everyone this year.
However, do not despair because there are some fabulous ways to enjoy a COVID-19 ridden Easter to the full without breaking any rules or upsetting any restrictions. 

• Paint/ dye/ design/decorate some regular chickens eggs. You can buy them everywhere and once they are hard boiled you can decorate them in any way that you like. Kids and adults all enjoy doing this activity and it's a fun way to not only kill a couple of hours, but to also get some mindful art time in as well.  
• Bake or cook. Get busy in the kitchen; hell you could have an Easter themed bake off in your own kitchen! Design cupcakes, make slices, decorate a cake, create a new cookie flavour and best of all, eat everything that you've made later on! 
• Gather at the table. Set the table in a special way and make sure that everyone in the family is seated to share in a very special meal together. Cook your Easter feast from scratch, with love and care and share it with the people around you. You don't have to be religious to celebrate this special time of thanksgiving, sharing and togetherness, so get out the good china and open the best bottle of wine in the house and celebrate the loved ones in your life. 
• Watch a movie together, it doesn't have to be Easter themed but do make it fun, light and easy. However, if you are desperate for an Easter flick then I would recommend: Rise of the Guardians, Chocolat or Wallace and Gromit Curse of the Were-Rabbit.  
• Call your family, friends and loved ones. Send out messages of love and good will to the people that you care about. Get your kids to create Easter cards for their grandparents, teachers or other significant care givers to let them know that they are thinking of them at Easter. 
• Treat Yourself! It is a holiday after all, so try to enjoy it! Eat, drink, do something nice for yourself, be merry and push back any bad or troubling thoughts, even if it's just for one day! Celebrate you, your health and your wellbeing. 

And from me to you on this unprecedented and uniquely unusual Easter, please stay safe, stay well and above all else - please stay at home!

I'm not going to lie about it, 2019 was NOT my favourite year. It was a year when things that could go wrong did go wrong for me. It was year of loss, sorrow, illness, confusion and things just frickin breaking or catching on fire (seriously - catching on fire people - just nuts!), but you know what I have to say about that? I say, well yeah it was pretty shitty a lot of the time, but I survived it. And I am stronger and smarter and calmer and wiser because of it all, I have learnt more about myself and others this year than I ever thought that I could learn in one year and even though I am praying that 2020 is somewhat kinder and gentler to me, I am actually proud that I have managed myself as well as I did in the face of all that adversity. 
And it really wasn't all doom and gloom anyway, some really good stuff happened to me in 2019 as well, and I would really like to focus on those peaks and forget about the valleys right now. 

See, loads of good things happening all year long! If you just look hard enough at what you've been doing, you can always find the positives. And although this year has really tested my fortitude, it has also proven to me that I have some incredibly strong, kind and generous people in my life that have really supported me through the tough times, and that is better than so many others things and pretty much makes up for things catching on fire as well! 
So onward and upward I go, 2020 has arrived and along with it an opportunity to rise up, dust off and face the world again with a fresh perspective and some new found optimism. I feel that brighter days lie just ahead!

It is difficult to say whether or not the holiday that Craig and I had booked for our 25th wedding anniversary in Vanuatu had arrived at the most inopportune time ever or the most opportune time ever, but it did happen and we did get on a plane just days after my father's funeral and escape all of the worry and strife of the real world to go to one of the most pristine stretches of beach in the Eastern Pacific to sip cocktails and bask in the sun for five incredible days. 
This was our first trip to Vanuatu and the first time that Craig and I have booked a holiday that was just about the two of us in almost 12 years, so you could say that we were more than due to have some quality 'one on one' time. And perhaps it really was the best time to get away. I was still numb from all of my grief and in dire need of some TLC and headspace, and this holiday did feel genuinely like a complete exhale and a total spiritual reboot in so many ways. 
We stayed at the Eratap Beach Resort which is a boutique style, eco-friendly and completely authentic beach resort that is focused on low numbers, no children and complete five star beachside luxury. From the moment that we arrived and our accommodating host placed a cocktail into my hand as we entered I felt my shoulders drop and my stress begin to just melt away. We had just arrived in paradise, a real paradise with crystal clear waters, gentle ocean breezes and an award winning chef in the kitchen who provided us with nightly seafood feasts that were some of the best dishes that I have ever eaten in my life. 
The food? Completely gourmet and absolutely delicious. The drinks? Different cocktail specials every night and an extensive list that I indulged completely. The beach? White sands, azure and turquoise sparkling waters and the most incredible snorkeling you could ever imagine with clown fish, angel fish and even a giant red octopus; it was so damn good that I couldn't believe it was actually real. The resort? Pristine, perfect and completely seducing with it's swaying palms, tropical grounds and uber friendly staff. We felt like kings from the moment that we arrived and were treated like superstars for the duration. 
We kayaked, snorkelled, swam, hiked, ate, drank and lounged about for five days. We took two journeys outside of the resort which were both provided free of charge by the resort, one to visit the local village of Eratap to see their homes, school and church, and one into Port Vila for a spot of souvenir shopping. The rest of the time we did our own thing, ate whenever we wanted to because the restaurant was open until 11pm every day, and pretty much felt like we were there on our own because there are only 12 villas on the premises, so their were really only around 20 guests on the grounds at any given time. Heaven, totally and utterly divine in every way, we loved it and we were so sad to leave when our stay finally came to it's inevitable conclusion. 
Anyway...one quick 4.5 hour flight back to Melbourne from Port Vila and a fairly short drive from Tullamarine and we were back in Enfield. Unfortunately, it was not the happy return that we had been expecting and we were quickly slammed back into reality when we realised that both of the kids weren't well. Zoe could barely speak and was sporting a raging head cold and a very sore throat, and Seth who seemed okay on Friday night when we got home very late, arose on Saturday morning saying that he felt unwell and by 7pm on Saturday night we had him at the hospital Emergency Room after he had a febrile seizure and passed out in our lounge room. 
He had been vomiting on Saturday and his temperature had gotten dangerously high, then his blood pressure plummeted and teamed with his dehydration from vomiting, he went down for the count (thank God Craig caught him) and they had to put him on drip at the hospital, administer anti-nausea tablets and run some blood tests just to make sure that he didn't have anything more sinister going on. It was pretty stressful, and it was really not good to be back in the emergency ward of a hospital again so soon. However, all is well and Seth was released from hospital at 11pm on Saturday night with the all clear and slept like a baby at home until 9.30am this morning. 
Today I have been able to play nursemaid to both of the kids, and although I wish that we had returned home to happier circumstances, I am also tremendously relieved that we were home to take care of them and the entire situation ourselves. It is wonderful to get away and I am glad that Craig and I got to share such a wonderful experience of complete tranquility in Vanuatu; but for now.... it's back to reality and back to work tomorrow, because nothing - not even paradise - can last forever. 

It's almost been ten days since our Zoe arrived back home after breaking up with her fiance and partner of 8 years Lachlainn. The news came as a bit of a shock to us all, but maybe I just didn't want to see the problems because I wanted to believe that Zoe was happy, but in truth, she wasn't. Looking back on these things with hindsight you can always see the cracks and chips in clarity but at the time you are just blinded by what you want to see. It is always like this with breakups of any kind I think, and even though the clarity is there, it really doesn't make breaking up any easier to do. 
Zoe has been strong and organised with this break up to within an inch of her life, which is what we have all come to expect from our Zoe. She's tough and she strong, and it does take great strength to admit that things aren't working and then to also walk away from them. Zoe leaves behind eight years of memories and most of her formative years experiences with Lachlainn since they practically grew up together. Zoe was only 14 years old when she and Lachlainn got together, so it is both fair and probably to be expected that they have just grown apart as time has progressed, and we really should have seen this coming to be honest, but as I said hindsight is 20/20. 
I think back to some of the douche bags that I was hooking up with when I was only 14 years old and...jeez! There is no way that I could probably even stand to be in the same room with some of those weirdos let alone in a relationship with them. Not that I am saying that Lachlainn is a douchebag or anything, but the likelihood of wanting someone that you hooked up with when you were a kid as an adult are probably slim to none.
Craig and I got together when I was just short of 18 and we have had more dramatic episodes than Days of Our Lives on the way to eventually finding happiness and contentment together. We broke up numerous times, fought like we were on the set of Rocky, got regularly and spectacularly wasted together like we were Sid and Nancy at an Irish stag do and eventually popped out the other end (somehow) still together.
And I'm not going to lie to you, it was really hard to stay together when we were young, it felt downright impossible at times. We were both the youngest of five children so we were both used to having our own ways and we had no idea how to make a relationship work, we were both headstrong, opinionated brats. However, unlike Zoe and Lachlainn we were already married and had a home mortgage and a child before we were even 25 so we felt like we had to stick it out through thick and thin, it was complicated. Fortunately for Zoe and Lachlainn they didn't have any of these responsibilities to make them feel tethered together, so breaking up became amicable and quite simple really, well as simple as breakups can be if that's any consolation. 
Breaking up, no matter how clean, is not easy. You are never  just leaving another person, but also leaving a part of yourself and a way of being that you may have grown accustomed to. You leave behind who you once were when you were with that person and you are technically re-inventing yourself into another version of yourself. A single version of yourself, which will be hard for Zoe because she hasn't really experienced being single yet, it's totally foreign territory. However, as we all know, foreign territory although a little scary at times, can also be exciting, exhilarating and empowering. And if anyone is going to be able to stand on their own two feet, I have absolutely no doubt that Zoe will. She has more strong independent woman in her than Sinead O'Connor and I really believe that although it is sad that she has broken up with Lachlainn that this will be her time to shine and really come into her own. 
Sometimes we need a clean break to kick start a new life, and sometimes that opportunity can only be seized by letting go of an old and outmoded version of ourselves. Sometimes letting go of people in our lives that are holding us back from meeting our true potential is only sad for a short time before we can fluff up our own wings again and take flight on our own. And I cannot deny that the very selfish and motherly parts of me are genuinely  excited to have my darling daughter back in the nest for me to fuss over once again. Here together we can support her, help her to heal the broken parts of herself and then help her to move on to the next big adventure that life has in store for her. Zoe deserves all of that and more and now it is her chance to fly solo, put herself first and do whatever she wants to do. 

The winter holidays kicked off in style, as they always do at the commencement of the June/ July break because Zoe's birthday always occurs right at the beginning of this break every year. Today we celebrated her special day with a leisurely and much needed break together at Peppers Mineral Spa in Hepburn Springs. A full day of mineral spas, detoxing saunas,  a relaxation massage and a two course lunch injected just the right amount of respite and recuperation into all of weary and exhausted our lives, leaving us feeling fresh and pampered in every way. 
Seth spent a day at Ballarat's Winterfest as a volunteer for the Winteractive Arcade at The Mining Exchange where he worked the interactive tattoo booth and taught newbs how to use virtual reality, which he loved doing. So the winter break has really kicked off well for us, and the next few days will be for catching up on some rest, spending some time with my parents and getting together with a few friends. 
​As much I would love for this entire break to be all couch bashing and movie binging, unfortunately it just can't be because I really do need to get some jobs done around here, especially in the garden which is starting to look like the set of The Jungle Book. And this is the biggest dilemma that I face every holiday period, finding that perfect balance between self time, job time and time that I give to others.
In the past I would've had my entire two week hiatus booked out well in advance, but I try not to torture myself like that anymore. Then I went through a faze where I would just hide from everyone and not even return text messages so that I could slip unencumbered onto the couch everyday to binge watch entire seasons of TV, but I just ended up feeling like a big lazy lump at the end of the two weeks because I hadn't got anything important done.
These days I like to find a healthy and also not completely unproductive medium where I catch up with people that I  want to see (not people that I feel obligated to see), get a few things ticked off the household 'to do' list and also settle back onto the couch to binge watch TV and movies for a couple of uninterrupted hours a day. 
There is absolutely nothing selfish about making sure that you actually get some needed rest during your holidays, and sometimes that means that you have to politely say no to requests or put a 'to do' list job on the 'do later' list.
Besides I can admit that I practically limped over the finish line last week. I was exhausted, tired and still not 100% well after the dreaded lurgy smashed me apart two weeks ago. Choosing to take some time to completely repair seems like a necessity to me at this point and I really don't think that I have the energy to soldier on much more anyway if I am really being honest.  The time to go outlaw and reclaim some self time has truly arrived, and I am claiming my self time for myself...y'all hear me? I am claiming it! So step back and give me some room to reclaim my me time! Phewww... really got lost in the moment and went all Outlaw Josey Wales for a minute there didn't I? And that's how I know for sure that I need to claim back some me time and get some rest, I am literally going crazy! 

Every woman knows that when you become a mother you have to relinquish some of your...how can I put this....firmness? I know that with each child that I had things on my body got more saggy, a lot more stripy (stretch marks - the untold horror of pregnancy) and generally a lot softer and plumper. I put on around 5 kilos with each of my children that I have never been able to lose and I have a caesarean scar from my second pregnancy that an Ob Gyn once called 'distressingly large' and even encouraged me to sue for malpractice over, so yeah I have sacrificed some of my youthful suppleness and beauty for my children. And I suppose that I always knew that there would be physical sacrifices that came with being pregnant, that much I was ready for. 
What I wasn't as prepared for was something that seems to happen to women around 45 years of age when they just suddenly become completely invisible to everyone. I am not even kidding, this shit really does happen and unless you look like Michelle Pfeiffer or some other waif like middle aged hottness, then odds are that it will happen to you too. You literally become unseen by everyone, not just men, everyone. Women, children and men will no longer see you unless you instigate the exchange and even then their interest will wane much faster than it did when you were young. 
Thankfully, this is not just a phenomenon that I alone have experienced but in recent polls 43% of women around 45 years of age claim to experience the same effect, a feeling of being invisible. So even though women are generally looking fitter and more youthful in their 40's and 50's than they ever have before in history, they are still falling victim to the dreaded 'ghost' effect that occurs around 45.
Well, it turns out that there is some research being done around this very topic, and there does appear to be contributing factors to these feelings of invisibility that women seem to experience. An analysis was completed that looked at 414 popular scripted movies and TV shows that aired during one year (from September 2014 to August 2015). From that data it was found that men made up 80% of the characters over 40, leaving only 20% to females, and many of those women were significantly older than 40. It was also noted that nearly all of the love interest female parts were filled by women in their 20's (often partnered up with men in their 40's) and that the women over 40 that were cast usually got roles as hags, shrews, witches, nags, struggling mothers or grandmothers.
This form of media profiling certainly appears to be part of the problem and not part of a solution, and by only casting twenty somethings or insanely hot thirty somethings in romantic roles, the media is stereotyping what it means to be sexy or physically viable, but it even goes much further than that. When women were asked about attractiveness, over 80% of them said that youth was akin to attractiveness and that they knew that once they were over 40 years old that men would not find them as interesting! How grim is that?  And even worse are the findings that women also admitted that they do not pay as much attention to or go out of their way for women over 40 unless they are seeking advise or selling them a product, which basically means that young women see me as either a counselor or a big misshapen money sack, any bloody wonders I feel like I am invisible! 
This dreadful feeling of invisibility is also why millions of women are now turning to surgery in an attempt to turn back the clocks and be seen again, which is just so sad when you really think about it.  In fact, now that I really think about it, I actually think that it just depends on who you are spending your time with when it comes to being seen. Women around my own age never make we feel invisible and men that are 10-15 years older than me seem pretty damn keen for a chat, so I suppose that it just depends where you are looking for that attention.
​A 40 something women is never going to stand out in a nightclub full of skimpy-dressed hotties and that kind of invisible is fine with me anyway. Who knows? Perhaps being invisible to young people and middle aged men is a really a super-power and something to be enjoyed, maybe being unseen to leary eyes or unwanted attentions is a blessing. I mean I am not looking for wolf whistles or uninspired conversations with twenty somethings anyway, so I probably shouldn't be complaining. Being unseen and generally unthreatening can certainly be used to one's advantage. Everyone knows that you can get away with almost anything if no-one is ever actually looking at you, and maybe that is not such a bad thing at all! 

Mother's Day is the one day of the year that we get to celebrate and spend time with the women in our lives that mean the most to us. I had lunch with Craig's mother yesterday and today I traveled to Ararat to see my own mother, whom I have been cultivating a loving and genuine relationship with over the last couple of years. The way that my mother and I finally found our deeper connection with each other came about in the most unusual and painful of ways, but now I have a really terrific relationship with my mum and I am so glad that I have been able to get to know her so completely in her twilight years. 
Around two years ago, I had a really traumatic estrangement from my siblings. One of them, in an attempt to destroy my relationship with my parents, trawled my blog and printed out any posts that contained defamatory content about my mum and dad. They took those printed pages and gave them to my parents, which was not only deeply mean to me but downright cruel to my elderly parents who were very distressed by my writings. I had to own that some of the things that I had said in the past about my parents were unkind, unnecessary and unproductive to our relationship. 
I think that at that point in my life I was using my blog to process my feelings and pour out some of my confusions and misgivings about the people in my family. There was no way to take any of it back and all of the cards were left face up on the table, well for me they were anyway. However, just as the saying goes "the truth shall set you free" and in that exposure, there was a cleansing and with everything laid bare and stripped back, there was no room to hide away, it was time to have some honest and awkward conversations. 
I did not attempt to discuss what my siblings had said to me about my parents themselves in defense of my writings, I owned what I had written completely, the bottom line was that all of those comments had come from me and I had been mean. I promised that I wouldn't talk poorly about them again and that I would work hard to make everything up to them, if they would give me the chance to. My parents were really upset, for a very long time, not just with me but also with my siblings for their vicious behaviour and it has taken me two years to shake off the effects of my estrangement from my siblings and regain the trust of my parents again. 
I now proudly have a meaningful and profound relationship with my mother, one that is based on trust and honesty.  I am not the same person that I was two years ago, and I am no longer petty or consumed by the mistakes of the past. I do not want to go through my life not knowing my mother, understanding my mother, loving my mother and being there for my mother. Having a better relationship with my mum has allowed me to understand the choices that she has made in her own life, why she is the person that she is and just how much she needs and deserves to be loved.
I doubt that I will ever thank my siblings for wounding me as deeply as they did, because that is a wound that just doesn't seem to heal no matter how attentive I am to it, but I cannot deny that out of their hate I did manage to find a real love and respect for my parents that I may not have enjoyed if none of it had ever happened. I don't talk poorly about my parent anymore, I don't complain about my family dynamic to people and I don't spend my free time looking for problems where there are none. As a mother myself, I understand that a meaningful relationship with my own mother is one of the most valuable things that I can ever enjoy in this life, and I have that now and I love spending time with my mother.

​ATONEMENT
Release Date: 2007
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 123 mins 
A romance/war drama, based on Ian McEwan's popular 2001 novel of the same name. Director Joe Wright became the youngest director to open at the 64th Venice International Film Festival at the age of 35 with Atonement, and he enjoyed a lot of notoriety and attention for his saga that outlines a crime and it's consequences over six decades. 
Filled with jealousy and malice, young Briony Tallis (Saoirse Ronan) hatches a story to keep her older sister Cecilia (Keira Knightley) away from the an old family friend and army private named Robbie Turner(James McAvoy). Her deception changes the course of several lives and when war breaks out in Britain, it seems an impossibility that  the two lovers will ever reunite.
This is truly a tale of enduring love, immensely sad and overflowing with unrequited passions. The directing here is on point, the scenes are lush and grandiose, and the actors are so good that they practically outshine the script. I cannot deny that I enjoyed it, for a period romance it was up there for me, it had enough intrigue to keep me interested and there were plenty of beautiful things to look at as well, especially James McAvoy who looks amazing in this. 
FINAL SAY: I love you. I'll wait for you.
4 Chilli Peppers

With the minds of many Australians firmly fixed on ANZAC day, it is inevitable that the concepts of heroism and noble efforts on the battlefields will be raised and passed around during this time of remembrance. Most adult Australians and New Zealanders would all understand the concept of The Anzac Spirit because it's pretty much a "national character" concept that was formed by a shared understanding that the tough-as-nails soldiers that fought on the battlefields of World War 1 were exemplary and uniting. Those qualities, although varied, are generally believed to be the traits of endurance, courage, ingenuity, good humour and larrikinism. With these qualities at their disposal, the ANZACs were able to demonstrate mateship and resilience under intensely difficult circumstances, making them nothing short of heroic.
​I cannot help but wonder whether the idea of a war hero is a bit lost on this generation of young people. I mean how well do they even understand the meaning of true heroism? And can they relate to an old ideal of what it means to be a real hero?
There is no doubt about it, a good hero or role model can appear to be hard to find these days. Gone are the days of soldiers proudly marching down the street after a hard won battle or an armour clad hero riding into town on the back of a noble steed triumphantly holding a defeated beasts severed head aloft, that is the stuff of history and fairytales, but that doesn't mean that the days of the hero are done for good. On the contrary, finding real life modern heroes is not nearly as hard as you may think it is, you just need to know what a real life hero actually is. 
If you ask any child to name one of their heroes, they will probably tell you the name of a Marvel or DC superhero that they love, and although they are citing a fictional character as their reference, they are not wrong about the qualities that they are recognising. Even children know that to be a real hero you need to possess certain characteristics. You need to be selfless, genuinely good and kind, courageous, willing to sacrifice for the greater good and willing to act out against oppression and injustice. Basically, you need to be able save the day and put things right, which is most definitely in line with our understanding of an ANZAC war hero, so our ideas about the qualities required to make a hero haven't really changed that much at all, however our ability to recognise them in real life certainly has. 
Long ago heroes had to be strong, stoic and more often than not male as well, but we are a lot more educated now and although we may not have parades in the streets and golden accolades for every heroic deed that is done, we do have a better understanding that people have the ability to be heroic every day if they attend to the basic virtues of being a hero. In fact, you don't really need to look that far to find the most amazing heroes that are flying under the radar all of the time.
You see, what it means to be a 'modern day hero' is to not only have all of those heroic traits that I mentioned earlier, but to possess them without any ego attached to them at all. Real modern heroes are doing brave and noble things not because it makes them look good or gains attention, they do them because they know that  that is what people in an evolved society do. They look out for each other, they save each other and they care about  what happens to their fellow humans, the animals and the planet. And they don't do it for the applause or the recognition, they do it because it is right and just.
Today we can find modern heroes in every walk of life. They are not just in army tanks, fire trucks, rescue helicopters and police squads; we know that they are also in hospitals, science labs, classrooms, supermarkets, standing at the bus stop, picking up their kids from school or even cleaning out your downpipes. You don't need a cape, a mask, a statue, a medal or a standing ovation to be a hero, you just need to have the right mindset and the right ethics.
Think about Frodo Baggins, a simple Hobbit from the Shire. He certainly wasn't the biggest, smartest, funniest or fastest creature in Middle Earth, but he was the hero that saved everyone from the rising and impending doom that was going to destroy everything. And how did he do it? Not with force or strength or by slaying everything that came into his path, no he did it with endurance, kindness and courage, the qualities of a true hero. 
The strength to step outside of a comfort zone, put others first and be relentless in the pursuit of justice is what makes someone a hero, which means that everyone has the potential to be a hero. EVERYONE. Anyone that has the minerals to save the day, no matter who they are or where they have come from, is a hero. And sure there will be war heroes, sports heroes and epic heroes to raise the banners for, but  let's not forget the everyday heroes that make the world a pretty amazing place to be. And let's doggedly talk more to our children about the virtues of  real life heroism and the selflessness that is required to fulfill that role, let's empower a generation of everyday heroes that are willing to be kind, courageous and just even when no-one is applauding their efforts or declaring them so!
​I think that the Foo Fighters said it best in their song My Hero -
There goes my hero
Watch him as he goes
There goes my hero
He's ordinary

I have been truly blessed in this lifetime to have some of the most wonderful people imaginable in my life. My children, my partner, my family, my friends - I have really drawn the ace card when it comes to good people; and everyday of my life is better for knowing these people. During my final week of autumn vacation I was fortuitous enough to share some of my time with people that I love, appreciate, respect and adore most of all in this world, and nothing can make you feel more wealthy and fortunate than having incredible people in your life can. I have shared delightful breakfasts with dear friends, had delicious cake and coffee with quiet confidants, chatted and giggled on the phone for hours with family members that are too far away, and shared sumptuous long lunches with my closest family members. 
I even managed to squeeze in a trip to Queenscliff with some friends during the week. We hired motorized scooters and rode them along the Bellarine Rail Trail in the late afternoon, arriving at a coastal winery called Basil's Farm just as the sun was setting. We enjoyed some good wine, nibbles and even better company in the still of the early evening as we sat by the bay watching the sky change from blue to pink to purple. We happily took a few choice bottles of wine back to our accomodation to share and had a lovely evening of drinking and chatting. It was really nice to get away and enjoy some good company, a little salty air and a change of pace for a while. 
Easter was an extremely busy affair, with Craig's birthday tossed into the middle for good measure. Thank goodness Zoe came down from Geelong for a few days to help me manage all of the cooking and running around that is required to host an Easter feast for a dozen people. In the end, it all went off without a hitch and everyone left with full hearts and even fuller bellies. Now I have a fridge that is overstocked with leftovers, which means that I can take a load off for a couple of days as we work through our stockpile of food provisions, so the whole event was a win-win for me overall. 
Seriously though, I really cannot imagine what my life would be like without all of the wonderful people that I get to share it with, these people support me, raise me up and offer me refuge when I need it most of all. The people that you surround yourself with do give your life meaning and do make it more profound, enjoyable and abundant by just being present. There are a million things in this life that you can be successful at, and a billion more material things that you can collect or earn, but there will never be a greater or more meaningful thing to gather into your life than the love, respect and quality time that you get to share with your good friends and family; it is absolutely priceless.
When you really sit back and take stock of how many incredible people you have in your life, you very quickly realise how blessed you truly are and how much meaning your life truly has. It isn't what we have that makes our lives meaningful, it is who we have in it that makes it more meaningful, so surround yourself with the most wonderful people that you can and get the best out of your life every day, because you deserve to. 

Only a few short years ago I recall writing on this blog with great anxiety about my daughter Zoe leaving home to go to University. I was a total mess at the time; a mess of worry and a mess of emotions. I was filled with a strange and unsettling mixture of pride, melancholia and knee-trembling fear that I haven't really come up against since then. I suppose that letting your children leave home to find their own place in the world really does have it's own unique set of emotions. A set of emotions that can't completely be defined or replicated, and equally cannot be forgotten either.  
I recall that one of my blog entries at that time was entitled But I don't want you to go.... and it was filled with my deep concerns and neurotic carry on about how Zoe could ever cope without me, and also what my life would look like without her around 24/7. I know that at that point in my life I just could not imagine what it would feel like or look like to not have Zoe there all of the time, it was such a foreign idea to me; an idea that I didn't really want to entertain.
​And now here I am, preparing to see Zoe graduate from University tomorrow and wondering what it was that I was so worried about when she left home a few years ago and about how my life and hers, turned out to be just fine, in fact better than fine, pretty damn great! And there is something really comforting about that. You see, I now have the knowledge that in spite of our greatest fears and anxieties we can adjust, we can move forward and we can achieve marvellous things as well. 
Tomorrow Zoe will take to the stage in her gown and tassel mortar-board and she will become a University graduate, the first University graduate in our family and we just couldn't be more proud of her. And she did it on her own, in a new town without us beside her to bolster the waves and lead the way, she did it all on her own. Now I could say that it was because we are such epic parents that she could manage all of this, but I honestly can't take the credit for all of her hard work. This one is Zoe's and Zoe's alone, she did it and she did it so well that she's been invited back to complete her honours as well. Woohoo - you go girl!
This whole experience has not only made Zoe grow up and learn about life, but it has also made Craig and I grow up and learn about life as well. We've changed a lot over the last few years that Zoe has left our home, and we have had a glimpse at what life looks like when you have less chicks in the nest to tend to as well. And you know what? We survived and we thrived, and we are all still close and we all enjoy each others company. I also now know for sure that just because your chicks fly the coop, that doesn't mean that they won't come back to roost for a spell every now and then, and that they aren't still your chicks in every way. 
Letting them fly is difficult because you're so damn worried that they will fall without you, but I cannot tell how incredibly good it feels when they don't fall at all, but when they actually soar to greater heights than you could ever reach yourself. Words just cannot describe it and nothing I write will ever do it justice, so I am not even going to try, but I'm pretty sure that you get the idea. 

Freshly back in Australia from our adventures in New Zealand, and what adventures we all had! I can honestly say that our family trip to New Zealand was one of the best trips that I have ever had overseas and now I am already keen to return and check out the New Zealand South Island as well.
The Gods truly blessed our trip and we had terrific and mostly mild weather for the entire duration, all of our Airbnb accommodations were even better than we had anticipated them to be and we managed to fit in everything that we had planned to do (and then some) without a hitch or a glitch along the way. And trust me when I say that we did plenty whilst we were there.
We only spent one night in Auckland before hitting the road for the Waitomo Caves to do the 'Black Labyrinth' glow-worm cave tour. This tour required us to don a wetsuit and caving gear, carry a flotation tube into the depths of the earth and then navigate ourselves through the uneven and dark terrain to see the glow worms that line the roof and walls of the caves. No-one told me that this tour would require me to leap backwards off waterfalls into water of an unknown depth in the dark whilst we were in the caves, if they had've I probably would've chickened out and then missed out on what turned out to be three of the funnest and most exhilarating hours of our entire trip.
For all of the initial fear, there was a tonne of fun to be had in those caves, and our guides were really helpful and knowledgeable and certainly  alleviated all of our concerns very quickly. The glow-worms are really dazzling and floating about in the dark water surrounded by their intense blue light is a pretty magical  and once in a lifetime experience.
We spent the next few days indulging in all of the exciting opportunities that Rotorua and the surrounding areas had to offer us. Which included a tour of Hobbiton (which made us all gung-ho to re-watch the trilogy again), a ride on a skyline gondola, some downhill luging, ziplining through the forests, kayaking on Lake Rotorua, zorbing (not for me thanks!), a Maori interactive experience and hangi (cooked in coals under the earth) dinner, a trip to see the thermal geysers and hot pools, a visit to a wildlife park to see a kiwi up close and personal (turns out that they are nocturnal birds, which I did not realise until I went to see one) and we also celebrated Seth's 14th birthday as well!
For the five days that we spent in Rotorua we stayed on the lake in a home owned by a movie lover like myself, which meant unlimited access to thousands of DVD's and also included a hot-tub, a daily visit from the resident swans and around an acre of immaculately landscaped gardens to explore, tough going I know, but someone had to do it!
From Rotorua we headed to the largest lake in New Zealand, Lake Taupo. Lake Taupo is large enough to fit Singapore inside of it! No shit, it's really that big! We went out on a yacht to take a look because there are some incredible Maori carvings out there that can only be reached by boat, and even though we sailed on the lake for the entire morning, we only saw around 6% of it. It has it's own horizon for goodness sake, it is absolutely massive! We had a lovely couple of days chilling out and enjoying our final days of lake life at Taupo. 
From there we headed down to our final destination of the trip, Wellington. The home of the vampires from What We Do in the Shadows and the city that Wellington Paranormal (one of my personally favourite TV shows) is based on. We stayed on the edge of the North Island in a flashy modern beach house that shares its neighbourhood with Peter Jackson. We kept our eyes open for any sign of him, but sadly he wasn't anywhere to be seen.
However, we did get to see a seal which was lazily sunning itself and hopping into the sea for a cool down swim off the rocks just across the road from our accommodation, which absolutely chuffed me! I haven't observed a large wild animal (without a handler) doing whatever it likes that close up before, usually you have to pay for those kinds of experiences, it was a real treat. There were also penguin nesting boxes there as well, but I think that the seal may have scared them away, so we didn't get to see them in action, but apparently they do cross the road regularly in that area because our Airbnb host told us to watch out for them. 
The coastline provided us with plenty of opportunities to collect abalone shells (paua shells), observe starfish and native sea life in the rock pools and also swim and snorkel. Our (I say our, but really it was mine) main priority whilst we were in Wellington was to visit the Weta Caves, which is a treasure trove of movie memorabilia and special effects information for movie geeks like me. I got a some great shots with the cave trolls from The Hobbit whilst I was there. And then in Wellington central we rode the city Cable Car to the peak of the city and strolled the botanical gardens taking in the incredible views and local flora. 
Fair to say that we were kept pretty busy, but it was a joyful level of busy. There was still ample time for sleeping in, eating out, shopping, meandering, meditating, late night movies and generally lollygagging in an awe-struck fashion at the incredible mountainous and green landscapes that we constantly engaged as we traversed the island. I have some incredible photographs of the amazing and altering terrain, it was so lush and made Australia look even more flat, arid and dry than I remembered it being when we left ten days ago, but I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't glad to be home again, because we all know that there is no place like home. 
Would I recommend a trip to the New Zealand North Island? Hell yes I would! Our family trip was worth every cent that we spent on it, we all had the best time in New Zealand and now we have a lifetime of memories of our time together to enjoy forever. It has been an unforgettable summer vacation  for us all.

Tomorrow we leave for New Zealand. As a huge heat wave hits Victoria we are escaping to the cooler and more manageable climates of Auckland, Rotorua and Wellington for the better part of 10 days. This family holiday has been in the making for the last two and a half years and I have excitedly planned and booked this self guided trip around the North Island with a lot of enthusiasm and loving detail. I have tried to encompass all of the things that our family have show an interest in exploring whilst we're in New Zealand, even the things that may be pushing me well outside of my comfort zone like spelunking (caving) and zip lining, which means that without a doubt this is going to be an epic family adventure for all of us. 
I am drawing the line at bungee jumping and zorbing though, happy for the kids to throw themselves off bridges and toss themselves down hills in giant plastic balls, but I am not willing to be involved in that kind of stuff and nonsense. The last thing that I need before I head back to work is a back injury, broken arm or leg or worse; no thank-you! I am going to leave the high impact action to the young and brave of heart, besides I am more than happy to wait out their high octane antics from the comfort of a good day spa with a glass of delicious New Zealand wine in my hand. Have at it kids, I'm happy to find my own fun! 
This trip will be especially significant for Zoe because this trip is her 21st birthday gift - finally coming to fruition! It's one thing to give someone plane tickets and spending money as a gift, it's another thing altogether to finally get on to that flight and have the chance to spend that money overseas. So needless to say, the anticipation is high and the excitement has reached fever pitch.
We are all super excited to be going over to New Zealand as a family for what will probably be the last big overseas holiday that we all have together for quite some time. Zoe has overseas destinations that she wants to explore with her fiance and Craig and I have a few big ticket items to get done out here that will occupy our spending money for a while as well, so it's hard to say when we will have an opportunity as good as this again. In light of that, we are all heading to New Zealand with our sights set on having an absolutely marvellous time.
​So I bid you all a fond farewell as I depart the country for a spell, I will without a doubt have wonderful tales to tell upon my return.
Just like Bilbo Baggins in The Hobbit, I am going on an adventure! Perhaps my most favourite adventure of all time and I cannot wait!

THE FAVOURITE
Release Date: 2018
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 121 mins 
An historical period drama/ black comedy directed by Yorgos Lanthimos and written by Deborah Davis and Tony McNamara. After winning the Grand Jury Prize at the 75th Venice International Film Festival where it had it's world premiere, The Favourite has since gone on to receive further critical acclaim, praise and accolades for it's screenplay, cinematography, music, costume design and the stellar performances of the three lead roles portrayed by Olivia Colman, Emma Stone and Rachel Weisz. 
In 1708 whilst Britain is at War with France, Queen Anne (Colman) sits on the throne entertaining eccentric behaviours and struggling with her unpredictable emotions and eating patterns. Sarah Churchill (Weisz) offers the Queen counsel, advise and comfort in many and varied ways, and has always held the Queen's attentions and affections. That is until her impoverish cousin Abigail Hill (Stone) arrives and seeks to gain the Queen's affections and adorations over Sarah. An unspoken and vicious competition commences as the two women vie for the Queen's favour. 
I adore Yorgos Lanthimos as a director, he always brings a fresh and raw perspective to his storytelling and The Favourite may be my favourite of his movies so far. This film looks lush in every way, and the constant excessive indulgences really drive home the dreadfully wasteful and revoltingly spoilt lifestyles of the British Aristocracy of that period perfectly.
The acting is flawless and the three leads have been perfectly cast and the story is delivered in a wickly interesting way. Olivia Colman is looking mighty good for a Best Actress Oscar here, and Weisz and Stone bring a very real threat to the Academy Awards in their terrific support roles as well. This is unmissable stuff, a truly amazing cinematic experience. 
FINAL SAY: As it turns out, I'm capable of much unpleasantness. 
4.5 Chilli Peppers ​

Another year is drawing to a close and what a wonderful year it has been for me. There have been so many highlights and so many special events, holidays and celebrations that I have been able to share with my family, my friends and my work colleagues this year that it is hard to know where to start. 2018 has truly been a year filled with great blessings, personal growth and many, many smiles.
I really like to make a list of the highlights of a year as it draws to close because it is so easy to forget just how many joyful things you do and get to be apart of; and how much you have achieved if you don't take stock on some level.  I always feel so deeply overwhelmed whenever I look back at everything that I have achieved and shared throughout the year and reflecting on a year is a really lovely thing to do that really helps you to count your blessings and focus on the abundance in your life. 
Here are my favourite highlights from 2018, all of which have brought me a great deal of joy, a sense of belonging, a feeling of enrichment and have provided me with many memories to reflect upon during the quieter and more contemplative times of the year. 

JANUARY:  Zoe and Lachlainn's engagement, Seth's 13th birthday, Jubilee Lake Picnic in Daylesford, Australia Day Fireworks, BBQ's and Drinks on the Enfield deck, TRUE - 30 days of Yoga program, Started my new job adventures. 
FEBRUARY: Chinese New Year- the Year of the Dog,  Rockabilly Festival, dinner and coffee dates with friends, Curry/movie night get togethers kicked off. 
MARCH: White Night Festival, International Women's Day, Cooking Day at Enfield  with friends, My Birthday, Jesus Christ Superstar, The Begonia Festival, The Arts Trail, the Egg Painting session at Enfield on Easter Saturday.
APRIL: Craig's Birthday, Eating Hot Cross Buns and good quality Chocolate on Easter Sunday, Dinner Parties, the Autumn School Holiday Break, Movie Nights at Enfield with mates, Apple and Quince harvesting. 
MAY: Mother's Day, The Festival of Light at the Great Stupa in Bendigo, a Daylesford Chocolate Mill visit, meeting Daniel Kish (aka. The Batman- echolocation expert), Spicywatch's 4th Birthday.
JUNE: Zoe's 21st Birthday, Winter Solstice Celebrations, Mushrooming, Completing my Level One Braille Qualification, Weekend Breakfast Dates with friends, the Winter School Holidays.
JULY: Alice in Wonderland at ACMI, Winter Movie Marathon nights, Flashy Cocktails and Long Lunches with my friends, When I Grow Up Art Exhibition, All day Baking and Soup making Sessions, Prospects dinners, eating Homemade Apple Pie with my Family. 
AUGUST:  Dinner parties, Dress-up Events at School (Book Week, 100 days of School, PJ day), committing to 30 days of 30 minutes of extra exercise (which I have continued with ever since).
SEPTEMBER: Father's Day, Seeing the Showcase Performance at school, Commencing 20 minutes of daily Transcendental Meditation (have also continued with this all year), the Spring School Holiday Break.
OCTOBER: Halloween horror movie/ dinner night, Rediscovered the joy of the local Botanical Gardens, School trip to Melbourne Zoo, Landcare Open Day, Cocktail and Perfume Night at The Lost Ones.
NOVEMBER: Bonfire Night, Anniversary weekend at Skenes Creek, Dinner Dates and Movie Nights, Sunday afternoon Live Music at Smythesdale Pub. 
DECEMBER: Dinner Party with friends, Having a KK to spoil and one that spoilt me as well, Staff Christmas function, Student Graduation, the Foundation Team Dinner, Summer Holidays kicking off, Christmas Day, Champagne Breakfasts, Reuniting with my nephew. 

Seriously, it has been the best year, I have so many things to be grateful for and so many reasons to celebrate what a wonderful life I have. On top of all of that, Spicywatch hit 11,000 return readers this month and I cannot tell you how wonderful it is to think that people are not only reading my blog and reviews, but are returning for more, it is just incredible to me. I am truly thankful to each and every Spicywatch reader for their continual check ins to my website, for their beautiful comments and their amazing support throughout the year. 
May 2019 bring you all much peace, much happiness and an abundance of all of the best things in life. I look forward to delivering more reviews and movie information to you all in 2019 and sharing my personal life experiences with you along the way as well.
Happiest of New Year's wishes to you all, may your resolutions be fulfilled, your hearts be full and your hangovers minimal; may you discover many new, enjoyable challenges and rewards in the new year and I hope that 2019 allows you to find your groove in all things,
Sending all of my love to you,
Happy New Year,
From Spicywatch xx