Last week we all escaped to the countryside together. In contrast to the sights and sounds of our beloved Enfield homestead, we headed into the Dandenong Ranges to explore the mountains, waterfalls and forests of Victoria. It's an area of the state that I have really not spend much time in at all and with Seth's exams ending, Craig and I clocking our  27th wedding anniversary and Zoe and Ben just needing some respite from work, it seemed like a good a time as any to escape the rat race for a few days and recharge the batteries in nature. 
This short break offered everyone the opportunity to be outdoors, commune with nature and see some fresh, new sights. We witnessed cascading waterfalls, climbed steep mountains, gazed at rushing river waters, admired grand redwoods and breathed in everything that is good, clean and rejuvenating about being in the wilds. 
​2021 was a very restrictive year in general and we hardly wandered very far from our homes for over a year, so it just felt good to be able to be out and about, and the down time was certainly welcomed by all. The only problem with having a short break in November is the need to return to work and re-establish a routine. I found that I very swiftly got accustomed to being off the clock and living a life of leisure and abundance, but we are only another three weeks away from the school term ending, so I honestly think that I've got this. 
And as always, now my attentions are drawn to Christmas which is only 27 days from today. Every year it sneaks up on me and every year I sit down and write on my blog about how much there is to accomplish before Christmas Day arrives. And just as unsurprisingly, the day always does arrive and I am always prepared and ready when it does, so there is really no point in fretting about it or being concerned about how much will be done because it is really quite safe to say that it will all be done, like it always is and it will all go swimmingly well and we will all have a lovely time. 
So I now happily turn my attentions to Christmas with a joyful form of anticipation. As a family we have so much to look forward to in 2022 and I feel like things are only going to move from good to great from this point forward.
The future is looking super bright. 

I recently read a really a beautiful piece of writing called Things My Mother Didn't Tell Me But Should Have by the British poet, author and teacher Warsan Shire. The writing came to me just after I had watched the movie Never Rarely Sometimes Always and it felt like the two forms of art were in some ways almost talking to each other about the challenges of being a young woman in the world today.  I also really loved the piece of writing so much that I just wanted to share it with you all, perhaps it will reach someone at the right moment if I pass it along. 

Never give any kind of pleasure to a boy you wouldn't give to yourself.

Kiss like a promise and wait for the other person to break it. 

Human beings are not ships, you cannot save them from sinking if they don't want to be rescued from the floodwaters. 

Loving someone that doesn't give a damn about you isn't sexy: it's misplaced energy, also known as self-destruction. 

Don't ever treat anyone like a refugee from a civil war; they will come back from battle and leave you as wounded as if you were the one who had been paid for military service.

Forgiveness isn't putting the weapon down; it's learning how to kiss the person pulling the trigger, not just a quick peck on the cheek, but a full one with tongue. 

Let the dead be dead. 
They have no answering machines, no phonelines:
if you call them, only the ground will ring.

Never trust a boy who already packed condoms ready in his coat pocket before he even asks your name.

When the world tries to break your back with its weight, get a stronger spine. 

Your father left us because he was ashamed for not being the one that gave birth to you. 

Even oceans misplace their anchors sometimes. 

Never give a man permission, you shouldn't have to. It should be mutual. 

Stop treating your body like currency - don't pay anyone who doesn't deserve it.  

NEVER RARELY SOMETIMES ALWAYS 
Release Date: 2020
Rating: M
Running Time: 101 mins 
Written and directed by Eliza Hittman, this candid and honest portrayal of a teenagers struggle with an unwanted pregnancy is seriously affecting. After its release at the Sundance Film Festival in January of 2020, Never Rarely Sometimes Always was selected to compete for a Golden Bear Award. The film won the Silver Bear Grand Jury Prize and has since received unanimous acclaim from critics and viewers alike. 
Autumn Callahan is seventeen and has just discovered that she is pregnant. Without anyone to confide in except for her cousin Skylar, the two girls embark on a trip to New York to try and find a solution to Autumn's problem. 
This film is unsettling from start to end, but it is also an extremely realistic portrayal of the challenges and burdens that many young girls face in todays current climate. 
The casting here is perfect with Sidney Flanigan and Talia Ryder delivering believable degrees of strength and fragility in their challenging roles as vulnerable small town girls in the city. The entire film teeters continually between tender and troubling but it also feels so true and genuine; making it powerfully unforgettable.
FINAL SAY: I want to make sure that you're safe. 
4 Chilli Peppers ​

March has kicked off with a flurry of celebration, festivity and fun. Since I last posted things have been hectic in the most delightful of ways. Last weekend Zoe and Ben joined us in Ballarat for a belated Chinese New Year dinner celebration on Saturday evening and then we all attended Summer Salt together on the following Sunday. I cannot even begin to tell you how much joy live music brought back to my life on that day. You really do forget just how marvellous it feels to be in a huge crowd of people all singing together and getting into the vibe of it on a brilliant sun-shiny day. It honestly rejuvenated me in ways that I cannot even explain in words, it was just so damn good for my soul!
The line up of performers was stellar and everyone that performed was clearly just as happy to be in front of a live audience again as much as we were all glad to be back in a crowd of adoring fans. We all greatly enjoyed Nat Vazer, Montaigne, Boy and Bear, John Butler, The Teskey Brothers and The Cat Empire together, sank a few drinks and swayed to the music as the sun went down on a day that none of us will forget in a hurry.  It was a wonderful way to farewell the Summer, share some time with loved ones and reconnect to the electric energy that you can only get from large music festivals once again. 
On Monday night I hit the couch to take in the 2021 Golden Globe Awards which was a bit of an understated event due to the COVID-19 restrictions. However, all things considered I still watched it all, enjoyed seeing all of the cast and crew in their own homes (some looking more glamorous than others) and was genuinely not at all surprised by the outcomes (listed below).  I think that my favourite recipient of the evening was Sacha Baron Cohen  who deservingly won Best actor and Best Motion Picture in a musical/ comedy motion picture for Borat Subsequent Moviefilm.  I think that Baron Cohen may be one of the most interesting and intriguing people on the planet to me right now, and he never fails to make me smile when he is on screen. 
This weekend, also the March labour day long weekend, I hit the highway on Friday night and headed to Zoe and Ben's in Bendigo to attend a weekend yoga festival. I absolutely love yoga, but I gotta say that after being in downward facing dog for the better part of 5 odd hours on Saturday, when I arose on Sunday morning I felt pretty stiff and was feeling the burn in some muscles that I didn't know even know that I had anymore. However, it was an awesome couple of days of getting zen, stretching, meditating, eating great food and spending time with my beautiful daughter and her partner. I even got to take in the Artists market, Farmers market and Mill Market in Castlemaine on Sunday on the way home, so I came home with a swag of goodies and even managed to get some early Easter shopping done as well. 
Today I have quietly spent International Women's Day resting and rebooting my system for the week ahead and reflecting on how wonderful my last few weeks have been. I can't even express how genuinely grateful I am to have been able to enjoy all of these special moments and quality time with the people that I love so much, it has really been a time of great celebration and enjoyment for me. Here's hoping that I can keep this high vibe of mine rolling for the rest of the term; I got the momentum going now, so I say - let's just keep on rolling....
2021 Golden Globe winners
Best motion picture, drama
Nomadland 

Best actress in a motion picture, drama
Andra Day, The United States vs. Billie Holiday 

Best actor in a motion picture, musical or comedy
Sacha Baron Cohen, Borat Subsequent Moviefilm 

Best motion picture, musical or comedy
Borat Subsequent Moviefilm

 Best director, motion picture
Chloe Zhao, Nomadland

Best actor in a motion picture, drama
Chadwick Boseman, Ma Rainey's Black Bottom

Best limited series or TV movie
The Queen's Gambit 

Best actress in a limited series or TV movie​
Anya Taylor-Joy, The Queen's Gambit 

Best supporting actress in a TV role
Gillian Anderson, The Crown 

Best actress in a supporting role in any motion picture​
Jodie Foster, The Mauritanian 

Best TV series, drama
The Crown 

Best motion picture, foreign language​
Minari (USA) 

Best actor in a TV series, drama​
Josh O'Connor, The Crown 

Best actress in a motion picture, musical or comedy
Rosamund Pike, I Care a Lot 

Best TV series, musical or comedy​
Schitt's Creek

Best actor in a TV series, musical or comedy​
Jason Sudeikis, Ted Lasso 

​Best original score, motion picture
Trent Reznor, Atticus Ross and Jon Batiste - Soul

Best original song, motion picture​
Io Si (Seen), The Life Ahead 

Best actress in a TV series, drama​
Emma Corrin, The Crown

Best screenplay, motion picture​
Aaron Sorkin, The Trial of the Chicago 7 

Best actor in a limited series or TV movie
Mark Ruffalo, I Know This Much is True  

Best motion picture, animated​
Soul 

Best actress in a TV series, musical or comedy​
Catherine O'Hara, Schitt's Creek

Best supporting actor in a TV role
John Boyega, Small Axe 

Best actor in a supporting role in any motion picture
Daniel Kaluuya, Judas and the Black Messiah 

THE TRIAL OF THE CHICAGO 7
Release Date: 2020
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 130 mins 
An historical real-life drama written and directed by Aaron Sorkin and released on Netflix due to the COVID-19 pandemic. The Trial of the Chicago 7 went on to receive wide critical acclaim for its excellent screenplay, stellar performances and its modern parallels to the 1960s. 
Seven men find themselves on trial for various charges surrounding the uprising at the 1968 Democratic National Convention in Chicago, Illinois. 
This is one of the most interesting and engaging courtroom dramas that I have seen in an age and the incredible cast are really bringing out their best here. Sacha Baron Cohen practically steals the show in every scene that he is in and even landed himself a Golden Globe nomination for Best Supporting Actor due to his amazing performance. However it must be said that the cast is across the board, with incredible and notable performances delivered from Eddie Redmayne, Alex Sharp, Jeremy Strong, John Carroll Lynch, Yahya Abdul-Mateen II, Mark Rylance, Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Frank Langella. 
The Trial of the Chicago 7 is a dramatization of a significantly important event that not only resonates with current political events but also demonstrates the power and passion of the people when it comes to human rights. 
FINAL SAY: We carried ideas across state lines. Not machine guns or drugs or little girls. Ideas. 
4 Chilli Peppers ​

With work officially out of the way for the moment, I can now safely turn my attentions to Christmas. It is time to focus on sharing some special moments with loved ones and indulging in all of the best things that life has to offer with my friends and family; and trust me when I say that I have had a pretty good start!
Christmas always brings about an acute awareness of how fortuitous and blessed I am in my life. When you have the means to gift others, eat the most rich and extravagant meals and not have to focus on how you are going to afford to do that, then you're bloody blessed!  And Christmas always makes me feel like I have so much to be grateful for. So for me, it's always an important time to give back, pay forward and make a really grand effort to let others know that I see them, care for them and want to share my time with them.
So far I have had a wonderful Japanese dining experience with my mother, my nephew and his family, I have visited a spectacular winery outside of Geelong with some work friends and indulged in many delicious wines and woodfired pizzas and I have even managed to complete all of my Christmas shopping, write all of my Christmas cards and wrap all of my gifts - so underneath my Christmas tree is now jam packed with goodies to share and enjoy with everyone. Yep, it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas and I am getting excited, not just about sharing some quality time with my darlings but also about all of the delicious fare that I am going to get to eat! 
Christmas food should be delicious in my opinion. Your Christmas meal should comprise of something that you've put some effort into creating and is worthy of sharing with your loved ones.  For me this year, it will be a perfectly roasted pork belly with all of the jazzy roast trimmings and for dessert a fabulous family favourite, a chocolate cake that is a combination of cake and pavlova and tastes like heaven.  I will spend time prepping on Christmas Eve, and it will not be a chore, not even in the slightest, it will be a pleasure. And to top it all off I will make a couple of Christmas cocktails to enjoy throughout the day. 
Nothing says 'Christmas in the summertime' like a good Christmas tipple, and this year I think that it will be about pimping up the Prosecco and making some Christmas themed Cosmopolitans. So here are the recipes that I will be using if you need a little tipple inspiration yourself. And please do make sure that you enjoy a very merry, bright, special and magical Christmas with your loved ones this year. 
May the season be kind to you and all of yours; and cheers to you all!
CHRISTMAS COSMOPOLITAN
Half of a pomegranate
40mls vodka
10mls Triple Sec
15mls Lime juice
I orange to serve.
Fill a shaker with ice, squeeze the pomegranate juice through your fingers, then add everything else except the orange. Shake well, strain into a martini glass and garnish with a strip of orange. 
PIMPED-UP PROSECCO
I orange
Half a lime
A good squeeze of pomegranate juice
Half a passionfruit
Quarter of a grapefruit
A splash of elderflower cordial
I bottle of Prosecco
Squeeze the orange, lime and grapefruit into a jug. Add the cordial, pomegranate juice and Prosecco. Scoop the pulp from the passionfruit half into the jug and stir. Serve in chilled champagne flutes. 

​IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE
Release Date: 1946
Rating: PG
Running Time: 130 mins 
Based on the short story "The Greatest Gift" by Phillip Van Doren Stern, this vintage Christmas fantasy drama from Frank Capra has become traditional viewing during the Christmas season and has won a place in thousands of hearts since it's release in the 1940's. 
The story revolves around George Bailey (James Stewart), a man who is contemplating suicide on Christmas Eve. His guardian angel Clarence intervenes by showing George what his community would look like if he had never existed. 
Although the movie wasn't a box office smash when it was released, in spite of it's five Academy Award nominations, it has since gone on to be recognized by the American Film Institute as one of the 100 best American films ever made.
And, it is true, this is certainly an inspiring and touching story, that will bring a tear to your eye and restore your faith in humanity around Christmas time. It's a Wonderful Life is a magnificent and uplifting classic that has a wholesome moral message, making it a perfect and squeaky clean viewing choice for the entire family. 
FINAL SAY: Remember, George: no man is a failure if he has friends. 
3.5 Chilli Peppers

It has almost been ten days since my operation and I am just beginning to resurface from the anesthetic, drug and pain induced coma that I have been existing in ever since the doctor removed my uterus. And wow, I really have to say that having a hysterectomy has completely topped the charts on my 'shittiest life experiences yet' list. There is nothing more sobering, more painful or more difficult to adjust to than having one of your major organs removed from your body, and this entire experience has made me realise just how truly unwell I was for quite some time because the state of that revolting uterus was anything but healthy. 
​I have to be honest, the only other time that I have ever had to go to hospital for a major or life changing procedure was to deliver my children so it would be fair to say that I am certainly no veteran of the knife or the ways of the surgeon. And hopefully, this will be the last experience that I am going to need for a very long time (praying forever) because I really did not enjoy having the hysterectomy, waking up just after having the hysterectomy or the first ten days of weird crap that has followed the hysterectomy.
What actually happens to the space that is left behind after you have had an organ removed from your body? Well, I can tell you that it rapidly gets filled up by all of your other oozing organs that are just happy to have some breathing room back again and what that means is intense weirdness; crazy intense weirdness as your body tries to adjust to what is now that the new norm. And I know that my other organs would undoubtedly be celebrating the exit of my hideously enlarged uterus and its various attached components because the darn thing had gotten so large that it had literally fused itself onto my bladder, spreading out like a disgusting blob and taking over every crevice of my abdomen that it could seep into. It seriously reminded me of the movie The Blob when I heard about my uterus' unquenching penchant for bogarting my entire pelvic region. A gross gelatinous abnormality, living right there inside of me! How fucking disgusting is that? 
Anyway, that bitch is gone for good now and has taken with it every period that I was ever destined to have. Can I get an Amen? What I now have left behind are two ovaries, which may well be floating about in the space inside of me anywhere for all that I know about what actually happened to me, but the doctor assured me that they were healthy and that if I kept them I would have a healthier and more natural menopause. And apparently preserving my ovaries will also ensure that I still continue to produce estrogen, thus saving me from facial hair, a deeper voice and the possibility of ever growing a penis - just kidding I don't actually think that last one can actually happen, but who wants to take any chances at this stage right? I just got rid of my bloody uterus the last thing I want right now is a dick and balls! 
So yeah, all aboard the female hell express, next stop menopause! I mean come on, really? It just never actually ever stops for women does it? First the periods, then the childbearing, then the hysterectomy and now the menopause, and I'm not even 50 yet so this all feels rather premature to me. However, I must admit that for all of my hating on the actual procedure of the hysterectomy, I think that once my body stops being weird ass central that I will actually be glad that I have had it done. Not only did I get rid of The Blob, but I may even be able to have an abdomen that doesn't look like a swallowed a beach ball one day. That day is certainly not today though, because my post-op belly looks so disgusting that I can't even deal with the sight of it at the moment. It's black and blue and that gross yellow/ green that bruises develop as they heal and don't ask me how this is possible, but my abdomen also genuinely seems bloated, tight and yet also flabby at the same time - how is that even possible? Another hysterectomy mystery I suppose!
You know, I stupidly thought that nothing would ever feel as unsettlingly abnormal in my body as the feeling of being pregnant (which literally felt like I was incubating an face hugging Alien embryo inside of me) but pregnancy has nothing on the continuous shifting, lilting, reconfiguration and strange involuntary realignment of my innards right now. I'm actually half expecting to wake up with an ovary sticking out my cheek one morning. I can feel my insides moving about and jostling for rank in there and quite frankly it's straight up horrible. Sort of a mixture of nausea, gas, cramps, aches and a lot of asking myself 'what the hell was that?' and 'that's normal right?'
However, in true Spicywatch fashion, I have resigned myself to the fact that this too shall pass and that one day over the next few weeks I will eventually wake up and not feel like a very freaky laboratory experiment anymore, but more like myself again.
​These are my current meditation mantras, and call me crazy, they do seem to be helping me to remain optimistic and on track to a full recovery. Yep, I'm on my way to complete wellness and I'm not stopping until I get there:

• Pain is part of growing.
• Everything in life is temporary.
• Worry and complaining changes nothing.
• Your scars are your symbols of strength.
• Every little struggle is a step forward. 
• What's meant to be will eventually be.
• The best thing you can do is keep going. 

Another Mother's Day rolls around and offers all of the mothers of the world a little time to reflect on their own relationships with their mother and their children. For as long as I can remember, I always wanted to be a mother and have children of my own, I never imagined that I wouldn't have kids one day. And that was certainly not because of any external pressures or expectations that I felt to have them, I just really wanted to have children because in all honesty, I have always really liked children.
Generally, I find children to be quite fascinating and often interesting to be around. Sure they can be like drunk adults with all of their brutal honesty, random vomiting and shitty coping skills but let's face it, when they are at their best little kids are just plain adorable. However, for the ultimate ego booster, there is nothing quite like seeing your own children all grown up, especially when they are bloody amazing and inspiring to be around; it really does put the icing on the motherhood cake. 
And I have to say, my children have actually been two of the best teachers that I have ever had in my life because I have learned more about myself and how to deal with others through them that I have learned through anyone else and that is probably the biggest plus to motherhood of all. In fact now that I think about it, my children have taught me about a lot of things that I doubt that I would have mastered as well as I have without their help along way. 
Firstly, I have completely gotten 'over' the preciousness of my physical self since I have become a mum. There is nothing like pregnancy, labour and the consequences of those two things combined to help you to get over the state of your physical body. Stretch marks, saggy boobs, flabby tummy, crappy uterus? Who cares? The physicalities are a mere blip on the radar of motherhood. Things that would have bothered me immensely about my body prior to having children are in the 'could not give a shit' basket now. Had one visit to the labour ward? Well then you've had them all and after a couple of dozen people have looked up your clacker and half of them have had their hand in there, well you just don't really care as much about stuff like that anymore. The old 'my home is your home' saying, is more like 'my body is everyone's body' after becoming a mum and you just can't afford to get hung up about it or you'll become a raving loony, so you just learn to let go and go with it.
My children have also taught me that it's okay to make mistakes and to not be perfect. Every new mother wants to be the perfect mother, but the perfect mother doesn't exist and trying to be one will just make you tired, frustrated and miserable. I have learnt that doing the best that I can with what I have is enough and apologising when I fuck it all up has worked an absolute treat for me. I have become so comfortable with my imperfections as a mum that I can now say to my children without any shame - 'I'm sorry and I wish I had handled that better' or 'I know that I am not at my best and I am sorry for that.' And they are fine with that, they don't expect me to get it right all the time, just like I don't expect them to, so I suppose that I have learned to accept imperfection as a kind of perfection in itself and that's something pretty amazing that motherhood has given to me. 
I have also learned incredible patience, unusual kindness and intense levels of overwhelming pride and gratitude from my children that nothing else in the world has ever given me. I have discovered that I am not the centre of the universe, although sometimes I still want to be. I have learned that my children need to be their own people, do their own things and be with people of their own choice and it has nothing to do with me whatsoever, and that is a relinquishing of power and control that I have mastered thanks to my children.  
I have learned that losing is not actually losing, it's learning. I have learned that most things don't require my comment or input at all and I have learned to pick my battles wisely and with great forethought (aka I no longer shoot from the hip) which I thank my children for assisting me with.
I have learned so many important and valuable things from my beautiful and wonderful children and I can say without a word of doubt that being a mother has made me a better person, a better wife, a better friend and a better daughter to my own mother as well. I'd be lying if I said that it has all been easy, but it has all been interesting and rewarding like nothing else that I have ever done before. And I have to say, damn I'm glad that I have experienced being a mother in this lifetime, what a genuine pleasure it has really been. 

Not sure that I need to be snacking out on anymore treats given the amount of self baked goodies that I have been inhaling since I went into self isolation three and a half weeks ago, but here we are - it's Easter again which means hello chocolate Easter eggs and hello hot cross buns! Ah the time to eat sugar and carbs with wild abandon has arrived and if you're stuck inside with these alluring goodies all around you, well then you're going to be indulging, so just go with it! The time to worry about spreading waistlines and a couple of extra kilos is most certainly not now; we can all focus on that further down the track. So for now I am just concentrating on enjoying my Easter long weekend at home with my two lovely boys. 
And what does an Easter holiday look like during a pandemic? Well, very bloody quiet for one thing since most the world has been forced into a mandatory lockdown situation. I know that the Easter Bunny has been confirmed as an essential worker this Easter, however it will no doubt be a challenge for the bunny to reach everyone during these difficult circumstances, and that combined with all of the enforced social distancing laws is more than likely going to mean a lot less frolicking about and Easter egg hunting for everyone this year.
However, do not despair because there are some fabulous ways to enjoy a COVID-19 ridden Easter to the full without breaking any rules or upsetting any restrictions. 

• Paint/ dye/ design/decorate some regular chickens eggs. You can buy them everywhere and once they are hard boiled you can decorate them in any way that you like. Kids and adults all enjoy doing this activity and it's a fun way to not only kill a couple of hours, but to also get some mindful art time in as well.  
• Bake or cook. Get busy in the kitchen; hell you could have an Easter themed bake off in your own kitchen! Design cupcakes, make slices, decorate a cake, create a new cookie flavour and best of all, eat everything that you've made later on! 
• Gather at the table. Set the table in a special way and make sure that everyone in the family is seated to share in a very special meal together. Cook your Easter feast from scratch, with love and care and share it with the people around you. You don't have to be religious to celebrate this special time of thanksgiving, sharing and togetherness, so get out the good china and open the best bottle of wine in the house and celebrate the loved ones in your life. 
• Watch a movie together, it doesn't have to be Easter themed but do make it fun, light and easy. However, if you are desperate for an Easter flick then I would recommend: Rise of the Guardians, Chocolat or Wallace and Gromit Curse of the Were-Rabbit.  
• Call your family, friends and loved ones. Send out messages of love and good will to the people that you care about. Get your kids to create Easter cards for their grandparents, teachers or other significant care givers to let them know that they are thinking of them at Easter. 
• Treat Yourself! It is a holiday after all, so try to enjoy it! Eat, drink, do something nice for yourself, be merry and push back any bad or troubling thoughts, even if it's just for one day! Celebrate you, your health and your wellbeing. 

And from me to you on this unprecedented and uniquely unusual Easter, please stay safe, stay well and above all else - please stay at home!

I'm not going to lie about it, 2019 was NOT my favourite year. It was a year when things that could go wrong did go wrong for me. It was year of loss, sorrow, illness, confusion and things just frickin breaking or catching on fire (seriously - catching on fire people - just nuts!), but you know what I have to say about that? I say, well yeah it was pretty shitty a lot of the time, but I survived it. And I am stronger and smarter and calmer and wiser because of it all, I have learnt more about myself and others this year than I ever thought that I could learn in one year and even though I am praying that 2020 is somewhat kinder and gentler to me, I am actually proud that I have managed myself as well as I did in the face of all that adversity. 
And it really wasn't all doom and gloom anyway, some really good stuff happened to me in 2019 as well, and I would really like to focus on those peaks and forget about the valleys right now. 

See, loads of good things happening all year long! If you just look hard enough at what you've been doing, you can always find the positives. And although this year has really tested my fortitude, it has also proven to me that I have some incredibly strong, kind and generous people in my life that have really supported me through the tough times, and that is better than so many others things and pretty much makes up for things catching on fire as well! 
So onward and upward I go, 2020 has arrived and along with it an opportunity to rise up, dust off and face the world again with a fresh perspective and some new found optimism. I feel that brighter days lie just ahead!

It is difficult to say whether or not the holiday that Craig and I had booked for our 25th wedding anniversary in Vanuatu had arrived at the most inopportune time ever or the most opportune time ever, but it did happen and we did get on a plane just days after my father's funeral and escape all of the worry and strife of the real world to go to one of the most pristine stretches of beach in the Eastern Pacific to sip cocktails and bask in the sun for five incredible days. 
This was our first trip to Vanuatu and the first time that Craig and I have booked a holiday that was just about the two of us in almost 12 years, so you could say that we were more than due to have some quality 'one on one' time. And perhaps it really was the best time to get away. I was still numb from all of my grief and in dire need of some TLC and headspace, and this holiday did feel genuinely like a complete exhale and a total spiritual reboot in so many ways. 
We stayed at the Eratap Beach Resort which is a boutique style, eco-friendly and completely authentic beach resort that is focused on low numbers, no children and complete five star beachside luxury. From the moment that we arrived and our accommodating host placed a cocktail into my hand as we entered I felt my shoulders drop and my stress begin to just melt away. We had just arrived in paradise, a real paradise with crystal clear waters, gentle ocean breezes and an award winning chef in the kitchen who provided us with nightly seafood feasts that were some of the best dishes that I have ever eaten in my life. 
The food? Completely gourmet and absolutely delicious. The drinks? Different cocktail specials every night and an extensive list that I indulged completely. The beach? White sands, azure and turquoise sparkling waters and the most incredible snorkeling you could ever imagine with clown fish, angel fish and even a giant red octopus; it was so damn good that I couldn't believe it was actually real. The resort? Pristine, perfect and completely seducing with it's swaying palms, tropical grounds and uber friendly staff. We felt like kings from the moment that we arrived and were treated like superstars for the duration. 
We kayaked, snorkelled, swam, hiked, ate, drank and lounged about for five days. We took two journeys outside of the resort which were both provided free of charge by the resort, one to visit the local village of Eratap to see their homes, school and church, and one into Port Vila for a spot of souvenir shopping. The rest of the time we did our own thing, ate whenever we wanted to because the restaurant was open until 11pm every day, and pretty much felt like we were there on our own because there are only 12 villas on the premises, so their were really only around 20 guests on the grounds at any given time. Heaven, totally and utterly divine in every way, we loved it and we were so sad to leave when our stay finally came to it's inevitable conclusion. 
Anyway...one quick 4.5 hour flight back to Melbourne from Port Vila and a fairly short drive from Tullamarine and we were back in Enfield. Unfortunately, it was not the happy return that we had been expecting and we were quickly slammed back into reality when we realised that both of the kids weren't well. Zoe could barely speak and was sporting a raging head cold and a very sore throat, and Seth who seemed okay on Friday night when we got home very late, arose on Saturday morning saying that he felt unwell and by 7pm on Saturday night we had him at the hospital Emergency Room after he had a febrile seizure and passed out in our lounge room. 
He had been vomiting on Saturday and his temperature had gotten dangerously high, then his blood pressure plummeted and teamed with his dehydration from vomiting, he went down for the count (thank God Craig caught him) and they had to put him on drip at the hospital, administer anti-nausea tablets and run some blood tests just to make sure that he didn't have anything more sinister going on. It was pretty stressful, and it was really not good to be back in the emergency ward of a hospital again so soon. However, all is well and Seth was released from hospital at 11pm on Saturday night with the all clear and slept like a baby at home until 9.30am this morning. 
Today I have been able to play nursemaid to both of the kids, and although I wish that we had returned home to happier circumstances, I am also tremendously relieved that we were home to take care of them and the entire situation ourselves. It is wonderful to get away and I am glad that Craig and I got to share such a wonderful experience of complete tranquility in Vanuatu; but for now.... it's back to reality and back to work tomorrow, because nothing - not even paradise - can last forever. 

It's almost been ten days since our Zoe arrived back home after breaking up with her fiance and partner of 8 years Lachlainn. The news came as a bit of a shock to us all, but maybe I just didn't want to see the problems because I wanted to believe that Zoe was happy, but in truth, she wasn't. Looking back on these things with hindsight you can always see the cracks and chips in clarity but at the time you are just blinded by what you want to see. It is always like this with breakups of any kind I think, and even though the clarity is there, it really doesn't make breaking up any easier to do. 
Zoe has been strong and organised with this break up to within an inch of her life, which is what we have all come to expect from our Zoe. She's tough and she strong, and it does take great strength to admit that things aren't working and then to also walk away from them. Zoe leaves behind eight years of memories and most of her formative years experiences with Lachlainn since they practically grew up together. Zoe was only 14 years old when she and Lachlainn got together, so it is both fair and probably to be expected that they have just grown apart as time has progressed, and we really should have seen this coming to be honest, but as I said hindsight is 20/20. 
I think back to some of the douche bags that I was hooking up with when I was only 14 years old and...jeez! There is no way that I could probably even stand to be in the same room with some of those weirdos let alone in a relationship with them. Not that I am saying that Lachlainn is a douchebag or anything, but the likelihood of wanting someone that you hooked up with when you were a kid as an adult are probably slim to none.
Craig and I got together when I was just short of 18 and we have had more dramatic episodes than Days of Our Lives on the way to eventually finding happiness and contentment together. We broke up numerous times, fought like we were on the set of Rocky, got regularly and spectacularly wasted together like we were Sid and Nancy at an Irish stag do and eventually popped out the other end (somehow) still together.
And I'm not going to lie to you, it was really hard to stay together when we were young, it felt downright impossible at times. We were both the youngest of five children so we were both used to having our own ways and we had no idea how to make a relationship work, we were both headstrong, opinionated brats. However, unlike Zoe and Lachlainn we were already married and had a home mortgage and a child before we were even 25 so we felt like we had to stick it out through thick and thin, it was complicated. Fortunately for Zoe and Lachlainn they didn't have any of these responsibilities to make them feel tethered together, so breaking up became amicable and quite simple really, well as simple as breakups can be if that's any consolation. 
Breaking up, no matter how clean, is not easy. You are never  just leaving another person, but also leaving a part of yourself and a way of being that you may have grown accustomed to. You leave behind who you once were when you were with that person and you are technically re-inventing yourself into another version of yourself. A single version of yourself, which will be hard for Zoe because she hasn't really experienced being single yet, it's totally foreign territory. However, as we all know, foreign territory although a little scary at times, can also be exciting, exhilarating and empowering. And if anyone is going to be able to stand on their own two feet, I have absolutely no doubt that Zoe will. She has more strong independent woman in her than Sinead O'Connor and I really believe that although it is sad that she has broken up with Lachlainn that this will be her time to shine and really come into her own. 
Sometimes we need a clean break to kick start a new life, and sometimes that opportunity can only be seized by letting go of an old and outmoded version of ourselves. Sometimes letting go of people in our lives that are holding us back from meeting our true potential is only sad for a short time before we can fluff up our own wings again and take flight on our own. And I cannot deny that the very selfish and motherly parts of me are genuinely  excited to have my darling daughter back in the nest for me to fuss over once again. Here together we can support her, help her to heal the broken parts of herself and then help her to move on to the next big adventure that life has in store for her. Zoe deserves all of that and more and now it is her chance to fly solo, put herself first and do whatever she wants to do. 

The winter holidays kicked off in style, as they always do at the commencement of the June/ July break because Zoe's birthday always occurs right at the beginning of this break every year. Today we celebrated her special day with a leisurely and much needed break together at Peppers Mineral Spa in Hepburn Springs. A full day of mineral spas, detoxing saunas,  a relaxation massage and a two course lunch injected just the right amount of respite and recuperation into all of weary and exhausted our lives, leaving us feeling fresh and pampered in every way. 
Seth spent a day at Ballarat's Winterfest as a volunteer for the Winteractive Arcade at The Mining Exchange where he worked the interactive tattoo booth and taught newbs how to use virtual reality, which he loved doing. So the winter break has really kicked off well for us, and the next few days will be for catching up on some rest, spending some time with my parents and getting together with a few friends. 
​As much I would love for this entire break to be all couch bashing and movie binging, unfortunately it just can't be because I really do need to get some jobs done around here, especially in the garden which is starting to look like the set of The Jungle Book. And this is the biggest dilemma that I face every holiday period, finding that perfect balance between self time, job time and time that I give to others.
In the past I would've had my entire two week hiatus booked out well in advance, but I try not to torture myself like that anymore. Then I went through a faze where I would just hide from everyone and not even return text messages so that I could slip unencumbered onto the couch everyday to binge watch entire seasons of TV, but I just ended up feeling like a big lazy lump at the end of the two weeks because I hadn't got anything important done.
These days I like to find a healthy and also not completely unproductive medium where I catch up with people that I  want to see (not people that I feel obligated to see), get a few things ticked off the household 'to do' list and also settle back onto the couch to binge watch TV and movies for a couple of uninterrupted hours a day. 
There is absolutely nothing selfish about making sure that you actually get some needed rest during your holidays, and sometimes that means that you have to politely say no to requests or put a 'to do' list job on the 'do later' list.
Besides I can admit that I practically limped over the finish line last week. I was exhausted, tired and still not 100% well after the dreaded lurgy smashed me apart two weeks ago. Choosing to take some time to completely repair seems like a necessity to me at this point and I really don't think that I have the energy to soldier on much more anyway if I am really being honest.  The time to go outlaw and reclaim some self time has truly arrived, and I am claiming my self time for myself...y'all hear me? I am claiming it! So step back and give me some room to reclaim my me time! Phewww... really got lost in the moment and went all Outlaw Josey Wales for a minute there didn't I? And that's how I know for sure that I need to claim back some me time and get some rest, I am literally going crazy! 

Every woman knows that when you become a mother you have to relinquish some of your...how can I put this....firmness? I know that with each child that I had things on my body got more saggy, a lot more stripy (stretch marks - the untold horror of pregnancy) and generally a lot softer and plumper. I put on around 5 kilos with each of my children that I have never been able to lose and I have a caesarean scar from my second pregnancy that an Ob Gyn once called 'distressingly large' and even encouraged me to sue for malpractice over, so yeah I have sacrificed some of my youthful suppleness and beauty for my children. And I suppose that I always knew that there would be physical sacrifices that came with being pregnant, that much I was ready for. 
What I wasn't as prepared for was something that seems to happen to women around 45 years of age when they just suddenly become completely invisible to everyone. I am not even kidding, this shit really does happen and unless you look like Michelle Pfeiffer or some other waif like middle aged hottness, then odds are that it will happen to you too. You literally become unseen by everyone, not just men, everyone. Women, children and men will no longer see you unless you instigate the exchange and even then their interest will wane much faster than it did when you were young. 
Thankfully, this is not just a phenomenon that I alone have experienced but in recent polls 43% of women around 45 years of age claim to experience the same effect, a feeling of being invisible. So even though women are generally looking fitter and more youthful in their 40's and 50's than they ever have before in history, they are still falling victim to the dreaded 'ghost' effect that occurs around 45.
Well, it turns out that there is some research being done around this very topic, and there does appear to be contributing factors to these feelings of invisibility that women seem to experience. An analysis was completed that looked at 414 popular scripted movies and TV shows that aired during one year (from September 2014 to August 2015). From that data it was found that men made up 80% of the characters over 40, leaving only 20% to females, and many of those women were significantly older than 40. It was also noted that nearly all of the love interest female parts were filled by women in their 20's (often partnered up with men in their 40's) and that the women over 40 that were cast usually got roles as hags, shrews, witches, nags, struggling mothers or grandmothers.
This form of media profiling certainly appears to be part of the problem and not part of a solution, and by only casting twenty somethings or insanely hot thirty somethings in romantic roles, the media is stereotyping what it means to be sexy or physically viable, but it even goes much further than that. When women were asked about attractiveness, over 80% of them said that youth was akin to attractiveness and that they knew that once they were over 40 years old that men would not find them as interesting! How grim is that?  And even worse are the findings that women also admitted that they do not pay as much attention to or go out of their way for women over 40 unless they are seeking advise or selling them a product, which basically means that young women see me as either a counselor or a big misshapen money sack, any bloody wonders I feel like I am invisible! 
This dreadful feeling of invisibility is also why millions of women are now turning to surgery in an attempt to turn back the clocks and be seen again, which is just so sad when you really think about it.  In fact, now that I really think about it, I actually think that it just depends on who you are spending your time with when it comes to being seen. Women around my own age never make we feel invisible and men that are 10-15 years older than me seem pretty damn keen for a chat, so I suppose that it just depends where you are looking for that attention.
​A 40 something women is never going to stand out in a nightclub full of skimpy-dressed hotties and that kind of invisible is fine with me anyway. Who knows? Perhaps being invisible to young people and middle aged men is a really a super-power and something to be enjoyed, maybe being unseen to leary eyes or unwanted attentions is a blessing. I mean I am not looking for wolf whistles or uninspired conversations with twenty somethings anyway, so I probably shouldn't be complaining. Being unseen and generally unthreatening can certainly be used to one's advantage. Everyone knows that you can get away with almost anything if no-one is ever actually looking at you, and maybe that is not such a bad thing at all! 

Mother's Day is the one day of the year that we get to celebrate and spend time with the women in our lives that mean the most to us. I had lunch with Craig's mother yesterday and today I traveled to Ararat to see my own mother, whom I have been cultivating a loving and genuine relationship with over the last couple of years. The way that my mother and I finally found our deeper connection with each other came about in the most unusual and painful of ways, but now I have a really terrific relationship with my mum and I am so glad that I have been able to get to know her so completely in her twilight years. 
Around two years ago, I had a really traumatic estrangement from my siblings. One of them, in an attempt to destroy my relationship with my parents, trawled my blog and printed out any posts that contained defamatory content about my mum and dad. They took those printed pages and gave them to my parents, which was not only deeply mean to me but downright cruel to my elderly parents who were very distressed by my writings. I had to own that some of the things that I had said in the past about my parents were unkind, unnecessary and unproductive to our relationship. 
I think that at that point in my life I was using my blog to process my feelings and pour out some of my confusions and misgivings about the people in my family. There was no way to take any of it back and all of the cards were left face up on the table, well for me they were anyway. However, just as the saying goes "the truth shall set you free" and in that exposure, there was a cleansing and with everything laid bare and stripped back, there was no room to hide away, it was time to have some honest and awkward conversations. 
I did not attempt to discuss what my siblings had said to me about my parents themselves in defense of my writings, I owned what I had written completely, the bottom line was that all of those comments had come from me and I had been mean. I promised that I wouldn't talk poorly about them again and that I would work hard to make everything up to them, if they would give me the chance to. My parents were really upset, for a very long time, not just with me but also with my siblings for their vicious behaviour and it has taken me two years to shake off the effects of my estrangement from my siblings and regain the trust of my parents again. 
I now proudly have a meaningful and profound relationship with my mother, one that is based on trust and honesty.  I am not the same person that I was two years ago, and I am no longer petty or consumed by the mistakes of the past. I do not want to go through my life not knowing my mother, understanding my mother, loving my mother and being there for my mother. Having a better relationship with my mum has allowed me to understand the choices that she has made in her own life, why she is the person that she is and just how much she needs and deserves to be loved.
I doubt that I will ever thank my siblings for wounding me as deeply as they did, because that is a wound that just doesn't seem to heal no matter how attentive I am to it, but I cannot deny that out of their hate I did manage to find a real love and respect for my parents that I may not have enjoyed if none of it had ever happened. I don't talk poorly about my parent anymore, I don't complain about my family dynamic to people and I don't spend my free time looking for problems where there are none. As a mother myself, I understand that a meaningful relationship with my own mother is one of the most valuable things that I can ever enjoy in this life, and I have that now and I love spending time with my mother.

​ATONEMENT
Release Date: 2007
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 123 mins 
A romance/war drama, based on Ian McEwan's popular 2001 novel of the same name. Director Joe Wright became the youngest director to open at the 64th Venice International Film Festival at the age of 35 with Atonement, and he enjoyed a lot of notoriety and attention for his saga that outlines a crime and it's consequences over six decades. 
Filled with jealousy and malice, young Briony Tallis (Saoirse Ronan) hatches a story to keep her older sister Cecilia (Keira Knightley) away from the an old family friend and army private named Robbie Turner(James McAvoy). Her deception changes the course of several lives and when war breaks out in Britain, it seems an impossibility that  the two lovers will ever reunite.
This is truly a tale of enduring love, immensely sad and overflowing with unrequited passions. The directing here is on point, the scenes are lush and grandiose, and the actors are so good that they practically outshine the script. I cannot deny that I enjoyed it, for a period romance it was up there for me, it had enough intrigue to keep me interested and there were plenty of beautiful things to look at as well, especially James McAvoy who looks amazing in this. 
FINAL SAY: I love you. I'll wait for you.
4 Chilli Peppers

With the minds of many Australians firmly fixed on ANZAC day, it is inevitable that the concepts of heroism and noble efforts on the battlefields will be raised and passed around during this time of remembrance. Most adult Australians and New Zealanders would all understand the concept of The Anzac Spirit because it's pretty much a "national character" concept that was formed by a shared understanding that the tough-as-nails soldiers that fought on the battlefields of World War 1 were exemplary and uniting. Those qualities, although varied, are generally believed to be the traits of endurance, courage, ingenuity, good humour and larrikinism. With these qualities at their disposal, the ANZACs were able to demonstrate mateship and resilience under intensely difficult circumstances, making them nothing short of heroic.
​I cannot help but wonder whether the idea of a war hero is a bit lost on this generation of young people. I mean how well do they even understand the meaning of true heroism? And can they relate to an old ideal of what it means to be a real hero?
There is no doubt about it, a good hero or role model can appear to be hard to find these days. Gone are the days of soldiers proudly marching down the street after a hard won battle or an armour clad hero riding into town on the back of a noble steed triumphantly holding a defeated beasts severed head aloft, that is the stuff of history and fairytales, but that doesn't mean that the days of the hero are done for good. On the contrary, finding real life modern heroes is not nearly as hard as you may think it is, you just need to know what a real life hero actually is. 
If you ask any child to name one of their heroes, they will probably tell you the name of a Marvel or DC superhero that they love, and although they are citing a fictional character as their reference, they are not wrong about the qualities that they are recognising. Even children know that to be a real hero you need to possess certain characteristics. You need to be selfless, genuinely good and kind, courageous, willing to sacrifice for the greater good and willing to act out against oppression and injustice. Basically, you need to be able save the day and put things right, which is most definitely in line with our understanding of an ANZAC war hero, so our ideas about the qualities required to make a hero haven't really changed that much at all, however our ability to recognise them in real life certainly has. 
Long ago heroes had to be strong, stoic and more often than not male as well, but we are a lot more educated now and although we may not have parades in the streets and golden accolades for every heroic deed that is done, we do have a better understanding that people have the ability to be heroic every day if they attend to the basic virtues of being a hero. In fact, you don't really need to look that far to find the most amazing heroes that are flying under the radar all of the time.
You see, what it means to be a 'modern day hero' is to not only have all of those heroic traits that I mentioned earlier, but to possess them without any ego attached to them at all. Real modern heroes are doing brave and noble things not because it makes them look good or gains attention, they do them because they know that  that is what people in an evolved society do. They look out for each other, they save each other and they care about  what happens to their fellow humans, the animals and the planet. And they don't do it for the applause or the recognition, they do it because it is right and just.
Today we can find modern heroes in every walk of life. They are not just in army tanks, fire trucks, rescue helicopters and police squads; we know that they are also in hospitals, science labs, classrooms, supermarkets, standing at the bus stop, picking up their kids from school or even cleaning out your downpipes. You don't need a cape, a mask, a statue, a medal or a standing ovation to be a hero, you just need to have the right mindset and the right ethics.
Think about Frodo Baggins, a simple Hobbit from the Shire. He certainly wasn't the biggest, smartest, funniest or fastest creature in Middle Earth, but he was the hero that saved everyone from the rising and impending doom that was going to destroy everything. And how did he do it? Not with force or strength or by slaying everything that came into his path, no he did it with endurance, kindness and courage, the qualities of a true hero. 
The strength to step outside of a comfort zone, put others first and be relentless in the pursuit of justice is what makes someone a hero, which means that everyone has the potential to be a hero. EVERYONE. Anyone that has the minerals to save the day, no matter who they are or where they have come from, is a hero. And sure there will be war heroes, sports heroes and epic heroes to raise the banners for, but  let's not forget the everyday heroes that make the world a pretty amazing place to be. And let's doggedly talk more to our children about the virtues of  real life heroism and the selflessness that is required to fulfill that role, let's empower a generation of everyday heroes that are willing to be kind, courageous and just even when no-one is applauding their efforts or declaring them so!
​I think that the Foo Fighters said it best in their song My Hero -
There goes my hero
Watch him as he goes
There goes my hero
He's ordinary

I have been truly blessed in this lifetime to have some of the most wonderful people imaginable in my life. My children, my partner, my family, my friends - I have really drawn the ace card when it comes to good people; and everyday of my life is better for knowing these people. During my final week of autumn vacation I was fortuitous enough to share some of my time with people that I love, appreciate, respect and adore most of all in this world, and nothing can make you feel more wealthy and fortunate than having incredible people in your life can. I have shared delightful breakfasts with dear friends, had delicious cake and coffee with quiet confidants, chatted and giggled on the phone for hours with family members that are too far away, and shared sumptuous long lunches with my closest family members. 
I even managed to squeeze in a trip to Queenscliff with some friends during the week. We hired motorized scooters and rode them along the Bellarine Rail Trail in the late afternoon, arriving at a coastal winery called Basil's Farm just as the sun was setting. We enjoyed some good wine, nibbles and even better company in the still of the early evening as we sat by the bay watching the sky change from blue to pink to purple. We happily took a few choice bottles of wine back to our accomodation to share and had a lovely evening of drinking and chatting. It was really nice to get away and enjoy some good company, a little salty air and a change of pace for a while. 
Easter was an extremely busy affair, with Craig's birthday tossed into the middle for good measure. Thank goodness Zoe came down from Geelong for a few days to help me manage all of the cooking and running around that is required to host an Easter feast for a dozen people. In the end, it all went off without a hitch and everyone left with full hearts and even fuller bellies. Now I have a fridge that is overstocked with leftovers, which means that I can take a load off for a couple of days as we work through our stockpile of food provisions, so the whole event was a win-win for me overall. 
Seriously though, I really cannot imagine what my life would be like without all of the wonderful people that I get to share it with, these people support me, raise me up and offer me refuge when I need it most of all. The people that you surround yourself with do give your life meaning and do make it more profound, enjoyable and abundant by just being present. There are a million things in this life that you can be successful at, and a billion more material things that you can collect or earn, but there will never be a greater or more meaningful thing to gather into your life than the love, respect and quality time that you get to share with your good friends and family; it is absolutely priceless.
When you really sit back and take stock of how many incredible people you have in your life, you very quickly realise how blessed you truly are and how much meaning your life truly has. It isn't what we have that makes our lives meaningful, it is who we have in it that makes it more meaningful, so surround yourself with the most wonderful people that you can and get the best out of your life every day, because you deserve to. 

Only a few short years ago I recall writing on this blog with great anxiety about my daughter Zoe leaving home to go to University. I was a total mess at the time; a mess of worry and a mess of emotions. I was filled with a strange and unsettling mixture of pride, melancholia and knee-trembling fear that I haven't really come up against since then. I suppose that letting your children leave home to find their own place in the world really does have it's own unique set of emotions. A set of emotions that can't completely be defined or replicated, and equally cannot be forgotten either.  
I recall that one of my blog entries at that time was entitled But I don't want you to go.... and it was filled with my deep concerns and neurotic carry on about how Zoe could ever cope without me, and also what my life would look like without her around 24/7. I know that at that point in my life I just could not imagine what it would feel like or look like to not have Zoe there all of the time, it was such a foreign idea to me; an idea that I didn't really want to entertain.
​And now here I am, preparing to see Zoe graduate from University tomorrow and wondering what it was that I was so worried about when she left home a few years ago and about how my life and hers, turned out to be just fine, in fact better than fine, pretty damn great! And there is something really comforting about that. You see, I now have the knowledge that in spite of our greatest fears and anxieties we can adjust, we can move forward and we can achieve marvellous things as well. 
Tomorrow Zoe will take to the stage in her gown and tassel mortar-board and she will become a University graduate, the first University graduate in our family and we just couldn't be more proud of her. And she did it on her own, in a new town without us beside her to bolster the waves and lead the way, she did it all on her own. Now I could say that it was because we are such epic parents that she could manage all of this, but I honestly can't take the credit for all of her hard work. This one is Zoe's and Zoe's alone, she did it and she did it so well that she's been invited back to complete her honours as well. Woohoo - you go girl!
This whole experience has not only made Zoe grow up and learn about life, but it has also made Craig and I grow up and learn about life as well. We've changed a lot over the last few years that Zoe has left our home, and we have had a glimpse at what life looks like when you have less chicks in the nest to tend to as well. And you know what? We survived and we thrived, and we are all still close and we all enjoy each others company. I also now know for sure that just because your chicks fly the coop, that doesn't mean that they won't come back to roost for a spell every now and then, and that they aren't still your chicks in every way. 
Letting them fly is difficult because you're so damn worried that they will fall without you, but I cannot tell how incredibly good it feels when they don't fall at all, but when they actually soar to greater heights than you could ever reach yourself. Words just cannot describe it and nothing I write will ever do it justice, so I am not even going to try, but I'm pretty sure that you get the idea. 

Freshly back in Australia from our adventures in New Zealand, and what adventures we all had! I can honestly say that our family trip to New Zealand was one of the best trips that I have ever had overseas and now I am already keen to return and check out the New Zealand South Island as well.
The Gods truly blessed our trip and we had terrific and mostly mild weather for the entire duration, all of our Airbnb accommodations were even better than we had anticipated them to be and we managed to fit in everything that we had planned to do (and then some) without a hitch or a glitch along the way. And trust me when I say that we did plenty whilst we were there.
We only spent one night in Auckland before hitting the road for the Waitomo Caves to do the 'Black Labyrinth' glow-worm cave tour. This tour required us to don a wetsuit and caving gear, carry a flotation tube into the depths of the earth and then navigate ourselves through the uneven and dark terrain to see the glow worms that line the roof and walls of the caves. No-one told me that this tour would require me to leap backwards off waterfalls into water of an unknown depth in the dark whilst we were in the caves, if they had've I probably would've chickened out and then missed out on what turned out to be three of the funnest and most exhilarating hours of our entire trip.
For all of the initial fear, there was a tonne of fun to be had in those caves, and our guides were really helpful and knowledgeable and certainly  alleviated all of our concerns very quickly. The glow-worms are really dazzling and floating about in the dark water surrounded by their intense blue light is a pretty magical  and once in a lifetime experience.
We spent the next few days indulging in all of the exciting opportunities that Rotorua and the surrounding areas had to offer us. Which included a tour of Hobbiton (which made us all gung-ho to re-watch the trilogy again), a ride on a skyline gondola, some downhill luging, ziplining through the forests, kayaking on Lake Rotorua, zorbing (not for me thanks!), a Maori interactive experience and hangi (cooked in coals under the earth) dinner, a trip to see the thermal geysers and hot pools, a visit to a wildlife park to see a kiwi up close and personal (turns out that they are nocturnal birds, which I did not realise until I went to see one) and we also celebrated Seth's 14th birthday as well!
For the five days that we spent in Rotorua we stayed on the lake in a home owned by a movie lover like myself, which meant unlimited access to thousands of DVD's and also included a hot-tub, a daily visit from the resident swans and around an acre of immaculately landscaped gardens to explore, tough going I know, but someone had to do it!
From Rotorua we headed to the largest lake in New Zealand, Lake Taupo. Lake Taupo is large enough to fit Singapore inside of it! No shit, it's really that big! We went out on a yacht to take a look because there are some incredible Maori carvings out there that can only be reached by boat, and even though we sailed on the lake for the entire morning, we only saw around 6% of it. It has it's own horizon for goodness sake, it is absolutely massive! We had a lovely couple of days chilling out and enjoying our final days of lake life at Taupo. 
From there we headed down to our final destination of the trip, Wellington. The home of the vampires from What We Do in the Shadows and the city that Wellington Paranormal (one of my personally favourite TV shows) is based on. We stayed on the edge of the North Island in a flashy modern beach house that shares its neighbourhood with Peter Jackson. We kept our eyes open for any sign of him, but sadly he wasn't anywhere to be seen.
However, we did get to see a seal which was lazily sunning itself and hopping into the sea for a cool down swim off the rocks just across the road from our accommodation, which absolutely chuffed me! I haven't observed a large wild animal (without a handler) doing whatever it likes that close up before, usually you have to pay for those kinds of experiences, it was a real treat. There were also penguin nesting boxes there as well, but I think that the seal may have scared them away, so we didn't get to see them in action, but apparently they do cross the road regularly in that area because our Airbnb host told us to watch out for them. 
The coastline provided us with plenty of opportunities to collect abalone shells (paua shells), observe starfish and native sea life in the rock pools and also swim and snorkel. Our (I say our, but really it was mine) main priority whilst we were in Wellington was to visit the Weta Caves, which is a treasure trove of movie memorabilia and special effects information for movie geeks like me. I got a some great shots with the cave trolls from The Hobbit whilst I was there. And then in Wellington central we rode the city Cable Car to the peak of the city and strolled the botanical gardens taking in the incredible views and local flora. 
Fair to say that we were kept pretty busy, but it was a joyful level of busy. There was still ample time for sleeping in, eating out, shopping, meandering, meditating, late night movies and generally lollygagging in an awe-struck fashion at the incredible mountainous and green landscapes that we constantly engaged as we traversed the island. I have some incredible photographs of the amazing and altering terrain, it was so lush and made Australia look even more flat, arid and dry than I remembered it being when we left ten days ago, but I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't glad to be home again, because we all know that there is no place like home. 
Would I recommend a trip to the New Zealand North Island? Hell yes I would! Our family trip was worth every cent that we spent on it, we all had the best time in New Zealand and now we have a lifetime of memories of our time together to enjoy forever. It has been an unforgettable summer vacation  for us all.

Tomorrow we leave for New Zealand. As a huge heat wave hits Victoria we are escaping to the cooler and more manageable climates of Auckland, Rotorua and Wellington for the better part of 10 days. This family holiday has been in the making for the last two and a half years and I have excitedly planned and booked this self guided trip around the North Island with a lot of enthusiasm and loving detail. I have tried to encompass all of the things that our family have show an interest in exploring whilst we're in New Zealand, even the things that may be pushing me well outside of my comfort zone like spelunking (caving) and zip lining, which means that without a doubt this is going to be an epic family adventure for all of us. 
I am drawing the line at bungee jumping and zorbing though, happy for the kids to throw themselves off bridges and toss themselves down hills in giant plastic balls, but I am not willing to be involved in that kind of stuff and nonsense. The last thing that I need before I head back to work is a back injury, broken arm or leg or worse; no thank-you! I am going to leave the high impact action to the young and brave of heart, besides I am more than happy to wait out their high octane antics from the comfort of a good day spa with a glass of delicious New Zealand wine in my hand. Have at it kids, I'm happy to find my own fun! 
This trip will be especially significant for Zoe because this trip is her 21st birthday gift - finally coming to fruition! It's one thing to give someone plane tickets and spending money as a gift, it's another thing altogether to finally get on to that flight and have the chance to spend that money overseas. So needless to say, the anticipation is high and the excitement has reached fever pitch.
We are all super excited to be going over to New Zealand as a family for what will probably be the last big overseas holiday that we all have together for quite some time. Zoe has overseas destinations that she wants to explore with her fiance and Craig and I have a few big ticket items to get done out here that will occupy our spending money for a while as well, so it's hard to say when we will have an opportunity as good as this again. In light of that, we are all heading to New Zealand with our sights set on having an absolutely marvellous time.
​So I bid you all a fond farewell as I depart the country for a spell, I will without a doubt have wonderful tales to tell upon my return.
Just like Bilbo Baggins in The Hobbit, I am going on an adventure! Perhaps my most favourite adventure of all time and I cannot wait!

THE FAVOURITE
Release Date: 2018
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 121 mins 
An historical period drama/ black comedy directed by Yorgos Lanthimos and written by Deborah Davis and Tony McNamara. After winning the Grand Jury Prize at the 75th Venice International Film Festival where it had it's world premiere, The Favourite has since gone on to receive further critical acclaim, praise and accolades for it's screenplay, cinematography, music, costume design and the stellar performances of the three lead roles portrayed by Olivia Colman, Emma Stone and Rachel Weisz. 
In 1708 whilst Britain is at War with France, Queen Anne (Colman) sits on the throne entertaining eccentric behaviours and struggling with her unpredictable emotions and eating patterns. Sarah Churchill (Weisz) offers the Queen counsel, advise and comfort in many and varied ways, and has always held the Queen's attentions and affections. That is until her impoverish cousin Abigail Hill (Stone) arrives and seeks to gain the Queen's affections and adorations over Sarah. An unspoken and vicious competition commences as the two women vie for the Queen's favour. 
I adore Yorgos Lanthimos as a director, he always brings a fresh and raw perspective to his storytelling and The Favourite may be my favourite of his movies so far. This film looks lush in every way, and the constant excessive indulgences really drive home the dreadfully wasteful and revoltingly spoilt lifestyles of the British Aristocracy of that period perfectly.
The acting is flawless and the three leads have been perfectly cast and the story is delivered in a wickly interesting way. Olivia Colman is looking mighty good for a Best Actress Oscar here, and Weisz and Stone bring a very real threat to the Academy Awards in their terrific support roles as well. This is unmissable stuff, a truly amazing cinematic experience. 
FINAL SAY: As it turns out, I'm capable of much unpleasantness. 
4.5 Chilli Peppers ​

Another year is drawing to a close and what a wonderful year it has been for me. There have been so many highlights and so many special events, holidays and celebrations that I have been able to share with my family, my friends and my work colleagues this year that it is hard to know where to start. 2018 has truly been a year filled with great blessings, personal growth and many, many smiles.
I really like to make a list of the highlights of a year as it draws to close because it is so easy to forget just how many joyful things you do and get to be apart of; and how much you have achieved if you don't take stock on some level.  I always feel so deeply overwhelmed whenever I look back at everything that I have achieved and shared throughout the year and reflecting on a year is a really lovely thing to do that really helps you to count your blessings and focus on the abundance in your life. 
Here are my favourite highlights from 2018, all of which have brought me a great deal of joy, a sense of belonging, a feeling of enrichment and have provided me with many memories to reflect upon during the quieter and more contemplative times of the year. 

JANUARY:  Zoe and Lachlainn's engagement, Seth's 13th birthday, Jubilee Lake Picnic in Daylesford, Australia Day Fireworks, BBQ's and Drinks on the Enfield deck, TRUE - 30 days of Yoga program, Started my new job adventures. 
FEBRUARY: Chinese New Year- the Year of the Dog,  Rockabilly Festival, dinner and coffee dates with friends, Curry/movie night get togethers kicked off. 
MARCH: White Night Festival, International Women's Day, Cooking Day at Enfield  with friends, My Birthday, Jesus Christ Superstar, The Begonia Festival, The Arts Trail, the Egg Painting session at Enfield on Easter Saturday.
APRIL: Craig's Birthday, Eating Hot Cross Buns and good quality Chocolate on Easter Sunday, Dinner Parties, the Autumn School Holiday Break, Movie Nights at Enfield with mates, Apple and Quince harvesting. 
MAY: Mother's Day, The Festival of Light at the Great Stupa in Bendigo, a Daylesford Chocolate Mill visit, meeting Daniel Kish (aka. The Batman- echolocation expert), Spicywatch's 4th Birthday.
JUNE: Zoe's 21st Birthday, Winter Solstice Celebrations, Mushrooming, Completing my Level One Braille Qualification, Weekend Breakfast Dates with friends, the Winter School Holidays.
JULY: Alice in Wonderland at ACMI, Winter Movie Marathon nights, Flashy Cocktails and Long Lunches with my friends, When I Grow Up Art Exhibition, All day Baking and Soup making Sessions, Prospects dinners, eating Homemade Apple Pie with my Family. 
AUGUST:  Dinner parties, Dress-up Events at School (Book Week, 100 days of School, PJ day), committing to 30 days of 30 minutes of extra exercise (which I have continued with ever since).
SEPTEMBER: Father's Day, Seeing the Showcase Performance at school, Commencing 20 minutes of daily Transcendental Meditation (have also continued with this all year), the Spring School Holiday Break.
OCTOBER: Halloween horror movie/ dinner night, Rediscovered the joy of the local Botanical Gardens, School trip to Melbourne Zoo, Landcare Open Day, Cocktail and Perfume Night at The Lost Ones.
NOVEMBER: Bonfire Night, Anniversary weekend at Skenes Creek, Dinner Dates and Movie Nights, Sunday afternoon Live Music at Smythesdale Pub. 
DECEMBER: Dinner Party with friends, Having a KK to spoil and one that spoilt me as well, Staff Christmas function, Student Graduation, the Foundation Team Dinner, Summer Holidays kicking off, Christmas Day, Champagne Breakfasts, Reuniting with my nephew. 

Seriously, it has been the best year, I have so many things to be grateful for and so many reasons to celebrate what a wonderful life I have. On top of all of that, Spicywatch hit 11,000 return readers this month and I cannot tell you how wonderful it is to think that people are not only reading my blog and reviews, but are returning for more, it is just incredible to me. I am truly thankful to each and every Spicywatch reader for their continual check ins to my website, for their beautiful comments and their amazing support throughout the year. 
May 2019 bring you all much peace, much happiness and an abundance of all of the best things in life. I look forward to delivering more reviews and movie information to you all in 2019 and sharing my personal life experiences with you along the way as well.
Happiest of New Year's wishes to you all, may your resolutions be fulfilled, your hearts be full and your hangovers minimal; may you discover many new, enjoyable challenges and rewards in the new year and I hope that 2019 allows you to find your groove in all things,
Sending all of my love to you,
Happy New Year,
From Spicywatch xx

Gimme a high five, a kiss on the cheek and a slap on the arse - work has officially ended! I have now happily navigated (and survived) the Christmas Staff Party, the work place Kris Kringle certificate exchange and the obligatory tipples, cheerful chatter and tears of goodbye that come with all end of year farewells and the much anticipated and fiercely coveted Summer holiday escape. All of my Christmas work events were thoroughly enjoyable, as one would expect when you work with a group of wonderful people, and I was sweetly touched by the outpouring of love and care that everyone in my school community shared with each other over this busy and genuinely exhausting time of the year.
The children (literally dead on their feet by the final stroke of the clock) showered me with much thanks, many hugs and a ridiculously generous cascade of gifts that were both greatly appreciated and overwhelmingly touching; highlighting all of the reasons that the slog is always worthwhile and that we do indeed change tiny minds everyday for the better. It would be more than fair to say that Christmas definitely came early for me. I don't even need to open another gift now, I have already been insanely spoilt and my ego has had a mighty good fluffing up from the many compliments and thanks that the children's parents (who did not hold back their gratitude or appreciations) happily gave to me. 
And so now I move onto more personal affairs, as today I brave the supermarket hordes to shop for my pre-Christmas get togethers and my family Christmas Day lunch. And even though I know that the supermarket is going to resemble a looting escapade during a zombie apocalypse, this is truly a labour of love now and I will undertake it with a lot of thought and loving devotion, because after all, it is Christmas time and therefore an excellent opportunity to spoil your loved ones and indulge in the finer things in life without feeling guilty. 
I have my menu planned, my shopping list written and I have purposely set aside Christmas Eve to prepare desserts and spend some time with Zoe and Seth swanning about the kitchen cooking up some delicious Christmas fare. I like to do all of the hard work and as much of the preparations before Christmas so that on the day I just have to load up the oven and grab a glass of bubbly. No-one should be slaving away in a kitchen on Christmas Day, that is just downright criminal. The load on the day has to be shared; the kids will dress the table (which Zoe has a turned into an art form), I will fill the oven and carve the roasted beasts, we will all do a little dusting and turning out of pre-prepared sweet treats, Seth will organise some appropriate and festive mood music and Craig, as he always does, will provide a jug of good gravy which he makes with the precision of a surgeon. And voila - we will have ourselves a merry little Christmas family gathering. Nothing more to do on the day but pop open the crackers and enjoy a relaxed meal together, which now that I have written about, am getting very excited for.
​Come on Christmas, I am ready for you to arrive!

In our household, no topic is off the table when it comes to family discussions around the dinner table. This open dialogue between myself, my husband and our children has led to many interesting, sometimes awkward and often lengthy and involved banters over the years, and even though many people have raised an eyebrow in regards to how open we are about all topics in our home, I have been vigilant about instilling the values of open conversation and honesty when it comes to family exchanges. 
Because of this open dialogue around the dinner table, we have had what many people would call 'difficult' conversations with our children as they have discovered the truths and at times the ugly realities about the world, but we pride ourselves for never lying to them or hiding an unpleasant truth from them, and they have both turned out to be pretty well rounded and open minded individuals as a result of this.
​Both of my children knew the truth about their body parts, how lives are created and that some people are 'not quite right in the head' well before they even arrived at primary school. And before they left primary school they also knew about war, religion, genocide, enlightenment, rape, cults, incest, racism, paedophilia, discrimination, poverty, mental illness, hate crimes and all forms of artistic, spiritual and sexual expression. Neither of them have become unbalanced by any of this information, and neither of them now struggle to understand the complexities of the world. The truth about the world did not fuck them up or steal their innocence and they both had really normal happy childhoods. In fact, growing up they didn't have nearly as many troubles as their peers when it came to managing social situations or complicated issues and have always had a strong sense of social justice and ethical behaviour as a result of their developed global understanding. 
I worked hard to cultivate a mindset in my children 'that nothing is too big to tell, or too awkward to ask about.' And yes, it has lead to some 'hot' discussion and even some disagreements over the years (because with an open forum people will tend to debate and defend their formed opinions) but it has also meant that my children are always willing to talk to me, really talk to me. If something is going on they will always tell us about it and if something is happened that they don't understand or need clarification about, they will ask. And the conversation is still very lively around our dinner table and although we sometimes hit the hard topics, generally we share many relaxed and casual meals where the order of the day is much laughter and silliness. 
I am in no way saying that open-conversation is going to fly smoothly at everyone's dinner table, but having room for opinion and the comfort to ask questions is certainly not a bad thing to generate in any family. Being able to talk about anything, even the really tough stuff has certainly brought us closer together as a family and my kids have always been grateful for the honesty that they have received from us whilst they were in their formative years.
​I have never been able to think of a good reason to hide things from my children or to lie to them and I have never wanted to cultivate a relationship with my children that was steeped in deception or mistrust. I often wonder when I hear adults say that their children aren't ready to hear the truths about the world if it is just because they as adults aren't ready to deal with all of the ugliness themselves. All that I know for sure from my own experiences, is that nurturing a home where secrets are supported and lies necessitated will only lead to bitter resentments, disappointments and painful truths later on in life, and we all want a lot less of that for our children in the long run. 

I am officially on school holidays! I started a little earlier than everyone else because my son needs to have some serious dental work done later today, so I am a couple of days in advance of all of the other staff at school that are still in it for the long haul; and even though I may be nursing a rather sore and sorry teenager for the next couple of days, I am certainly thankful for the early respite. 
I know that I say this every time that the school holidays roll around, but school staff really do earn every minute of holidays that they get each term, and a winter term is always a tough one to get through, for both the staff and students. So a little frolick time in the warming spring air is just what the doctor ordered and I am really looking forward to hitting the garden, the easel, the couch, the yoga mat, the cinema and probably the whiskey bottle as well if I am being really honest about it. With 18 work free days ahead of me, the possibilities are endless and I will be taking full advantage of balancing out my rest, relaxation and realignment time with getting some 'need to do' tasks ticked off my list as well. 
The yard is looking positively swampish out here at the moment, weeds are protruding from every garden bed, some plants droop sadly after the ravages of the heavy winter frosts and the driveway is starting to look more like a lawn than a gravel track, which means that it's weed spraying time! I actually quite enjoy being in the garden and I find gardening tasks more than tolerable especially when they are teamed with a decent podcast and a spot of sunshine. I can easily spend a few days in the sun pottering about in the yard and not feel like I have done any chores at all, and the results are always more than worth the time that you spend making them happen. 
I was more than pleased to see that my vegetable patch has self seeded a lot of spring vegetables without any assistance from me, so a bit of weeding and a few extra pots of vegetables from the nursery should put that all back in order again. In fact there is already a very healthy speckling of rhubarb, beetroot, spring onion, chard, leek, kale, parsley, kohlrabi, oregano, spinach and even a couple of heads of lettuce that have flourished without much effort from me at all. I haven't even been out there in over eight weeks, so I was pretty surprised to see so much action when I checked it the other day. It truly is amazing what a bit of sunshine, rain and some warm spring air can do to a garden...and to the soul. 
I am certainly finding myself in high spirits at the moment, not just with the holiday situation but also with my TM practices. I have been meditating for at least 20 minutes a day over the past 10 days now and I have been feeling a lot more at ease as a result of that. Transcendental Meditation actually requires two twenty minute sessions a day, but with the half an hour of yoga and half an hour of walking that I already do every day, it is just too much to squeeze in. Perhaps over the break I will be able to increase my meditation time further, but when I am working it is a challenge to make everything fit. However, one of the biggest benefits that I have noticed so far with TM has been my increased energy levels and lack of tiredness. I rise around 5.40am and go to bed around 11pm and I sleep so restfully and always wake feeling totally rejuvenated, often before my alarm even goes off now!
And, on top of my regular daily routine which (aside from my paid work) always includes yoga, walking, journaling, meditation, braille practice, meal preparation, cleaning and household chores, I have also (in the last 10 days) entertained two dinners (with three courses that I cooked from scratch), gone out for dinner with friends four times, gone to the movies, attended a work PD, had a coffee date with a friend and kept up with my blog and the all of the TV series that I am watching at the moment. PHEWWW! It's been hectic, but I don't feel worn out at all, in fact I feel like I have more energy than I have ever had. Is that possible? Is it all psychosomatic? Am I convincing myself that TM is making my life richer or does it really work? Hard to say just yet, but safe to say that I am going to be continuing with my practice at this point, and let's just see where it all takes me.

There is nothing that you can do to slow down the growth and development of your children. One day you're trying to decide what kind of childcare would be appropriate for your precious little bundle and then the next thing you know you're preparing to watch them graduate from University. And you will have no idea what the hell happened to those years in between. It just happens, your kids just grow up and you have to ride it all out alongside of them, every nitty gritty and sometimes shitty moment of it. And trust me when I say that it is never, no matter how awesome your family dynamic may be, going to be terrific 100% of the time. 
There are going to be less than awesome days when your son or daughter is going to bitch slap you upside the head and tell you that they hate you or that you suck, which is of course bullshit because they never really hate you, they just hate the power that you have over them to make descisions for them; decisions that they are way too young to be responsibly making for themselves. But yeah, they are going to hate you for it, and you know what? That's okay. It is actually healthy to have a few power struggles with your kids, it's normal in any good and fruitful relationship to have a few power struggles. It's how families build trust and responsibility, and learn how to depend upon each other through the good and the bad times which only occurs when you are all riding it all out together, no matter what comes your way. 
I am always deeply concerned and also utterly perplexed when I hear parents nonchalantly talking about how their teenager has driven them so bonkers that they have had to kick them out or encouraged  them to move out or leave the house. Seriously, as a parent you don't get to check out - not ever! Never ever, no matter how bonkers your teenager may be making you. You cannot let them leave, you cannot toss them out and you cannot decide at any point (no matter how crapola things may appear to be) that you have had enough.
​Sorry, but you gave up your right to check out when you signed up to be a parent. There are no 'Get Out of Jail Free' cards when it comes to parenting. How your child decides to behave is pretty much irrelevant because you are the adult and you have to be the voice of reason, the harbour in the tempest and the example of 'how we do when shit isn't going awesome.' You have to take some shit on the chin from time to time and you absolutely (without fail) have to remember that when your kids are behaving at their worst, it's always because they are needing you the most. Especially teenagers, who are exceptionally loathe to asking for help or guidance because well...you know....they already know everything! And any sign of a chink in the armour would be extremely uncool as well, and god forbid any parent that is trying to make their teenager feel uncool!
Finding a happy medium where you are always holding on with one hand but also letting go with the other is really the only way to go as a parent I believe. You have to let them make some mistakes, but not too many. You have to let them fight their own battles, but not if they get too big. You have to let them be angry, but not all the time or for no good reason. You have to hug them when they are dreadful, encourage them when they want to give up and also be adult enough to admit that you're only human and that you have a multitude of your own shortcomings. Always apologise when you act like a dickhead yourself, don't ever hold grudges with your kids and never let them leave,  unless they absolutely have to, and even then make sure that they know that you would much prefer that they stay!
It's a tough gig being a good parent, but it's a bloody great gig too, and it's certainly not something that you would ever want to give up on, not for all the tea in China. 

Had a much needed day out with Zoe and Seth in the city yesterday. We meandered the streets of Melbourne for hours, stopping in at some of our favourite haunts and taking in all of the sights, sounds and smells of the big city environment. Melbourne is somewhere that I love to visit regularly because it doesn't matter how many times you go, there is always something new to discover and the shopping is always fantastic.
We hit up Lush for bath bombs, Haigh's for chocolate and Daiso for some random Asian goodies because those places are an absolute must for us when we go to Melbourne, and then we headed over to Chinatown for a huge teppanyaki feast for lunch which did involve Seth getting most of an omelette tossed into his face from our very cheeky chef. It was quite amusing for us, but not so amusing for Seth who was showered in hot egg pieces that were being flung straight off the steaming teppanyaki grill at his head, but it was all just part of the fun and no real harm was done.
We ended our fabulous day out exploring the Alice in Wonderland exhibition that is currently showing at ACMI, which was a feast for the senses and a real treat for me since I am such a massive Alice in Wonderland fan. The highlight of the exhibition was definitely the Mad Hatter's Tea Party where you entered a room and sat down for a 'virtual' seat at the Hatter's table. Cakes magically appeared on plates and virtual tea poured into cups as we sat amid the butterflies in the mushroom forest. It was pretty exciting and the kids that were sitting near to us were so delighted and enthralled by the scene that it was impossible to not get swept up in the magic of it all, I mean when do you ever get to attend a real Mad Hatter's Tea Party? 
In spite of the cold, wet and blustery weather trying to keep us at bay, we all had a great day out and managed to dodge the Melbourne showers as we went about our business. Today however, has been a completely different story with the rain completely overtaking our Sunday and forcing us all indoors and close to the heater. It has probably been the wettest day of the holidays so far, but I am not complaining because a day of curling up on the couch with Netflix is never a bad day in my mind.
I have managed to binge watch a couple of TV series and watch quite a lot of movies over the break so far. I am slowly making my way through my 'to see' list, which mainly consists of long and gritty movies that I haven't got the time or the mental stamina to deal with during the term. Here's one of my favourite viewings so far these holidays, but as I said, it's long and gritty, so do see it, but only when you're in the right frame of mind to do so, it's tough going.

BEASTS OF NO NATION
Release Date: 2015
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 137 mins
A gritty war drama written, co-produced and directed by Cary Joji Fukunaga who also acted as his own cinematographer during filming. Based on the novel of the same name by Uzodinma Iweala, Beasts of No Nation comes on strong with it's striking and horrific depiction of a young boy who becomes a ruthless child soldier. 
Young Agu's Ghanaian village is torn apart when rebel and government forces begin fighting in the streets. His mother and sister flee for safety, his father and brother are murdered and Agu escapes capture by hiding in the jungle. He is found by a ruthless militia group that operate under a vicious commander (Idris Elba) and after undergoing a brutal initiation process he becomes a fully-fledged member and begins his transformation from boy to soldier. 
This is a sobering and uncompromising look at the human cost of war and the exploitation of the innocent and desperate. Idris Elba deservingly won a SAG award for his unforgettable and disturbingly good portrayal of the opportunistic sadist commander, and I am genuinely confused about why he didn't get an Oscar nomination that year as well. All of the child performances are amazingly good, especially Abraham Nii Attah who portrays Agu's transformation perfectly and was awarded the Marcello Mastroianni Award for Best Young Actor at the 72nd Venice International Film Festival. 
Beasts of No Nation is by no means an easy watch, but it is most definitely a worthy one. 
FINAL SAY: I saw terrible things....and I did terrible things. 
4 Chilli Peppers ​

Although turning 21 isn't quite as important as it used to be in the old days, there's still something pretty exciting about the day that you finally become a 'real' adult. Sure kids become adults at 18, but everyone knows that they are still mostly under construction. It isn't until you turn 21 that the world suddenly realises that you really are an adult and with that realisation people finally start to listen to you when you speak and respect you as a functioning member of society.
And I suppose that it is also around 21 that people start to expect that you will somewhat have your shit together and have some idea about what about you what you want to do with your life, but everyone also really knows that this is rarely ever the case. 
Our Zoe turned 21 yesterday. I cannot believe that 21 years of her life have already gone by, it certainly doesn't feel like it has been that long since I screamed the hospital down giving birth to her all those years ago. And what an amazing adult she has become, so very smart and also beautiful, Zoe has become more of the type of woman that we want in our society than I could have ever hoped that she would be. Strong, funny, ambitious, kind and compassionate, our girl sure does have it all. She has lived away from home for almost three years and during that time I have watched her blossom into the fine independent woman that I know and love so dearly, I just couldn't be more proud of my daughter, she is a constant source of wonder and inspiration to me. 
On top of everything else, Zoe is also on the verge of graduating University this year, she has become a coordinator for the YMCA and coaches competitive gymnastics squads, she got engaged earlier this year to her long term sweetheart Lachlainn and she has now also turned 21; it's been a pretty big year for our darling Zoe. And she never fails to visit us here in Enfield every other week, chat on the phone to me twice a week and always have a smile on her face when I see her. What's not to love about this kid? She's is an absolute sweetheart, inside and out, and Craig, Seth and I, well we just bloody love her stupid and thank our lucky stars that we have managed to get someone so wonderful batting on our team. 
Being the generous soul that she is, Zoe didn't want a 21st birthday party this year, she wanted to for us all to go on a holiday together for her birthday. She wanted us to have some quality travel and family time together before she commits to full time employment and a house mortgage or any of that other life stuff that will get in the way of travel and spending money. So that's what we are doing, we are all going away to New Zealand in January together to celebrate not only Zoe's 21st birthday, but also how wonderful it is to be a part of a family that love and care for each other. Which has given us all something fantastic to look forward to over the summer break and something to save our money towards. 
So happy 21st birthday my darling Zoe, I hope that the years ahead are kind to you, I wish all of the best things in abundance for you and please know that we will always be there for you, a million hugs and kisses from your adoring family for your special day xxxx.
​PS. Couldn't resist putting in a review of a movie that we have watched a hundred times over together.