Men's health is an extremely neglected issue, especially in countries like Australia where the term 'Man Up' or 'Don't be a Pussy' are the staple when it comes to male wellbeing. However, the truth is that the stoic, strong and silent male stereotype that Aussie males have happily hung their hats upon for decades has actually been incredibly damning for men.
Australia now has an alarmingly high suicide rate, and 75% of those suicides are men between the ages 15-44, which means that more men die of suicide every year than from road accidents. Suicide has now become the 10th highest cause of death among men, which means that it is an issue that we can no longer afford to ignore. Just today, 6 Australia men will take their own lives, and we desperately need to get to the bottom of what is going on and why this is happening. 
The men that are taking their own lives come from all walks of life, they live in rural areas and cities, they are young and old and they have diverse employment, socio-economic statuses and cultural backgrounds, but they do have one thing in common, and that is the inability to reach out and share their troubles with others. Turns out that the strong male stereotype is so well ingrained that most men say that they are concerned or even afraid to show their true feelings, their worries, their anxieties and their burdens with others, even their closest family members and friends. This inability to share tends to push vulnerable men into drug and alcohol abuse, gambling addictions or other unhealthy outlets to try and cope with their emotions. 
Essentially we have as a culture, disempowered our men to talk about themselves and their problems. Men are struggling to allow themselves to be vulnerable for fear of being singled out as weak; the pull to be an 'Aussie bloke' who can shoulder any responsibility has overridden men's ability to adopt introspection and let their guard down, and the results of this are just catastrophic.
So what can we do about it? First and foremostly, we have to acknowledge that what we are doing isn't working and that we need to make some serious changes to the way that we deal with men and their health and wellbeing issues. Organisation like Gotcha4Life and Movember are supporting programs directed specifically at men and agree that the approach needs to be different. Empowering and encouraging men to have deeper conversations about what is going on with them when they experience a crisis in their lives is the best place to start. We must make room for men to be in touch with the human parts of themselves, which means that they need the space to share, cry, mourn and feel weak from time to time without the fear of negative judgement.
We need to stop telling blokes to harden up or man up and we need to be better listeners and show support and understanding. We need to educate ourselves about men and their unique set of challenges and the heavy unspoken expectations that are placed upon them from an early age. These traditions of expectation have become so ingrained in Australian culture that it is going to take time to loosen the shackles of those constraints for men, but we have to start somewhere because male suicide is on the rise not the decline in Australia. 
So start right away, tell the men in your life how much they mean to you and take more time to just sit and talk with them when you can. Allow time for them to bond with other men recreationally, and encourage them to spend time alone with other men so that they can learn to open up and share their thoughts and feelings in 'safe mate' circle of friends. Support and normalise emotional releases and remember that it is all of our responsibilities to make men feel valued, heard and supported so that they can face the challenges of their lives with dignity. Help men to understand that it is not only okay to feel weak, it is absolutely necessary sometimes, and that being an emotionless robot isn't of service to anyone.
It is time for us all to wave goodbye to the stoic Aussie male stereotype that we have all been conditioned to accept and expect for generations, because we know that we can all do a shitload better than that for our men. And I implore all men to reach out and share, because we are all here and ready to hear you and support you, and never forget that it's all gonna be okay, help is never too far away and it's totally okay to seek it out if you should need it. 

I believe that the death penalty is an archaic and barbaric form of justice, in fact I do not believe that it is really a form of justice at all, it is a reaction to an act of violence with violence, and I think that it should be abolished worldwide. I ask you, how on earth can we ever achieve justice through more acts of injustice? 
I cannot understand it and I will never support it, for me the taking of any life, no matter how wretched that soul may be, goes against every fibre of my being and everything that I believe in. In a day and age where there are options for proper care and rehabilitation through correct practice and procedure, I think that we are far better equipped to deal with the ugliness of social misconduct than we have ever been before. Surely we can boast that we have evolved into a more civilised and humane culture that can bolster better consequences for the mentally unwell than just executing them?
In a recent episode of the television program Kidding, the main character meets the son of his penpal who just happens to be an inmate on death row. Through contact with this penpal we learn the truth about the lethal injection that is given to death row prisoners to euthanize them, and it really got me thinking about how deeply barbaric and horrific it would be to die in that way.
The so called 'painless' execution method is actually very far from painless and consists of a series of three lethal injections. The first of the three injections is an anesthetic called sodium thiopental, which is a fast acting barbiturate that depresses the activity of the central nervous system. This initial shot doesn't serve as a painkiller that numbs pain nerves, but instead it rapidly puts a person into a state of unconsciousness that's theoretically deep enough to make pain undetectable (note the word theoretically there). The assumption is that the drug will last long enough for the other two injections to be administered, but no-one alive has been able to substantiate that theory, so it's a grey area for sure. 
The second injection is pancuronium bromide which causes complete muscle paralysis, so even if the person being executed was in pain, they wouldn't be able to cry out or let anyone know that they were; and the injection also causes the respiratory system to go into arrest because the muscle of the diaphragm (the muscle that pulls air into the lungs) stops working, so odds are it hurts like a bitch. 
The last dosage to be administered is potassium chloride, which floods the heart with charged particles that interrupt its electrical signaling and stop it from beating. According to a study in the Journal of Forensic Science, the average length of time from the first injection to death is 8.4 minutes. Try and get your head around that, 8.4 minutes of possible pain and discomfort, maybe a lot longer, before you eventually die. It's a chilling thought, and not something that invokes a painless drifting off, as one may have imagined about lethal injection previously. It may be more humane than electrocution or a cyanide gas chamber, but let's not kid ourselves here, this is still a completely barbaric practice that needs to be abolished. 
And to top it all off, there are no real health professionals present when lethal injection procedures are administered because doctors and nurses are banned by their professional organisations from participating in executions since it goes against the moral code of health care professionals to be involved in such procedures. Surely that made you raise an eyebrow? 
And even though many countries have abolished the use of the death penalty, there are still 54 countries around the world that still have laws that sanction the use of capital punishment, and in some of those countries, the lethal injection would actually look like a good option considering the fact that they still use hanging, shooting, torture, flogging, firing squads and even stoning as a means of execution which is sometimes conducted publicly. I seriously shudder at the thought. 
An eye for an eye and the world goes blind, and I firmly believe that that is true. We cannot fight fire with fire and expect to survive the inferno ourselves, a life is a life and when others make poor choices we cannot simply put out their light, it is wrong and it is immoral. Anyone that supports the taking of a life for a life really needs to take a good hard look at what is motivating all of that hate in the first place, because in my opinion, it isn't natural to want to destroy your own kind. 

Every now and then someone will call me out on a review that I have done on a movie or a blog post that I have made; and if you are going to put your opinions on the internet, then you have expect that people are going to give their opinions back to you as well.  Total strangers, friends and even family members will point out how they didn't like what I wrote on my blog or point out how wrong I was about a certain movie that was at least one Chilli Pepper hotter or 3 Chilli Peppers colder than I had implied that it was, and I think that a lot them really enjoy sharing their own verdict or opinion on a topic that I have raised or a review that I have posted.
I am not sure whether people are hoping that I will kick off in response to their adverse reactions to my writings, but I can say with complete honesty that I don't mind at all if you disagree with my opinions. You do not have to agree with me, it would be completely weird if you did. I do not claim to be 'the God of all movie knowledge', I am not even close to being an expert in cinema, I am just a movie enthusiast that likes to write, and that is where my expertise ends. Sure I have seen a lot of movies, but there are still millions of movies that I haven't seen, and as for my opinions, well they're just that, opinions not facts or truths to be adopted and set into action, they are merely my opinions, nothing more and nothing less than that. 
Is it actually really great to hear that people don't agree with me. I love to hear about other people's experiences of the movies that they have seen, and that is one of the things that is so damn terrific about cinema, it is completely subjective. Like any expression of art, one person's trash is another person's treasure, and cinema is no different from that in any way. We may agree sometimes, never, seldom or often, it matters not to me one way or another. Make your own mind up about the movies that I review, see them for yourself, be discerning and be disagreeable, I welcome all opinions and you never have to agree with me. 
Cinematic experiences are unique and completely individual to everyone. They can be affected by your mood, your interest level in the subject, your wellbeing, your personal experiences, your tolerance levels and even your level of alertness when you enter a cinema. There are millions of factors at play when a person decides to squat for a couple of hours to watch a film, and I wouldn't dare to assume that my experiences would be in sync with anyone elses for even half of that time. 
Nope, I don't mind if you don't agree with me. In fact, I am ecstatic to hear the opinions of other cinephiles, it is a comfort to know that other people feel as passionately about their movie experiences as I do. I would never stifle  your disagreement of my comments, I welcome them and appreciate every one of my loyal readers opinions, even when they are completely opposed to mine. Please do keep up all of the comments and the conversations about movies with me, I am always happy to receive feedback and those of you that know me well, know that I will never get enough cinema related chatter in my life, so please do share your thoughts with me. 

THE SKIN I LIVE IN
Release Date: 2011
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 120 mins 
A Spanish psychological thriller, written and directed by Pedro Almodóvar.  Almodóvar has described the film as "a horror story without screams or frights" which is an accurate description. Although The Skin I Live In can't really be regarded as horror, there are certainly plenty of horrific goings on that will seriously mess with your head. 
A regarded plastic surgeon that is plagued by misfortune, creates a wonderful new type of skin that is impervious to damage. His human guinea pig and private obsession is a woman named Vera, a mysterious beauty that resides as a prisoner in his house. 
Antonio Banderas does a brilliant job of portraying the Dr. Frankenstein like surgeon Ledgard, and Elena Anaya is painfully beautiful as his subject, Vera. This movie has all of the elements of a great psychological thriller; devious plot twists, intensely interesting and esoteric characters and plenty of back story. However, because it crosses so many lines it also induces disgust and revulsion, albeit in the most stylish fashion, and for that reason it will not be to everyone's liking. If you can handle the kink levels turned up to high pitch, then you should enjoy the ride. 
FINAL SAY: I breathe. I breathe. I breathe. 
3 Chilli Peppers ​

In our household, no topic is off the table when it comes to family discussions around the dinner table. This open dialogue between myself, my husband and our children has led to many interesting, sometimes awkward and often lengthy and involved banters over the years, and even though many people have raised an eyebrow in regards to how open we are about all topics in our home, I have been vigilant about instilling the values of open conversation and honesty when it comes to family exchanges. 
Because of this open dialogue around the dinner table, we have had what many people would call 'difficult' conversations with our children as they have discovered the truths and at times the ugly realities about the world, but we pride ourselves for never lying to them or hiding an unpleasant truth from them, and they have both turned out to be pretty well rounded and open minded individuals as a result of this.
​Both of my children knew the truth about their body parts, how lives are created and that some people are 'not quite right in the head' well before they even arrived at primary school. And before they left primary school they also knew about war, religion, genocide, enlightenment, rape, cults, incest, racism, paedophilia, discrimination, poverty, mental illness, hate crimes and all forms of artistic, spiritual and sexual expression. Neither of them have become unbalanced by any of this information, and neither of them now struggle to understand the complexities of the world. The truth about the world did not fuck them up or steal their innocence and they both had really normal happy childhoods. In fact, growing up they didn't have nearly as many troubles as their peers when it came to managing social situations or complicated issues and have always had a strong sense of social justice and ethical behaviour as a result of their developed global understanding. 
I worked hard to cultivate a mindset in my children 'that nothing is too big to tell, or too awkward to ask about.' And yes, it has lead to some 'hot' discussion and even some disagreements over the years (because with an open forum people will tend to debate and defend their formed opinions) but it has also meant that my children are always willing to talk to me, really talk to me. If something is going on they will always tell us about it and if something is happened that they don't understand or need clarification about, they will ask. And the conversation is still very lively around our dinner table and although we sometimes hit the hard topics, generally we share many relaxed and casual meals where the order of the day is much laughter and silliness. 
I am in no way saying that open-conversation is going to fly smoothly at everyone's dinner table, but having room for opinion and the comfort to ask questions is certainly not a bad thing to generate in any family. Being able to talk about anything, even the really tough stuff has certainly brought us closer together as a family and my kids have always been grateful for the honesty that they have received from us whilst they were in their formative years.
​I have never been able to think of a good reason to hide things from my children or to lie to them and I have never wanted to cultivate a relationship with my children that was steeped in deception or mistrust. I often wonder when I hear adults say that their children aren't ready to hear the truths about the world if it is just because they as adults aren't ready to deal with all of the ugliness themselves. All that I know for sure from my own experiences, is that nurturing a home where secrets are supported and lies necessitated will only lead to bitter resentments, disappointments and painful truths later on in life, and we all want a lot less of that for our children in the long run. 

No matter how much a well meaning parent or caring mentor may try to arm you with the goods to make the best out of the life that you have been given, there are some things that you just have to learn and find out for yourself. No amount of good advise or pep talking can ever provide you with the smarts that you will get from actually finding something out for yourself through sheer effort, life experience, perseverance and/ or a good splash of stupidity. 
​I have never met anyone that has been able to give me the ability to be strong or to be happy. I have met people that have inspired me to be stronger and happier, but the real work on those fronts comes from within. Strength can only be gained by facing life's adversities and overcoming fears. The strongest people that I know are the ones who have fallen the most in their lifetimes, and that strength is learned and cultivated over time. Everyone's strength and what they derive it from is unique, it is not a torch that can passed along to another. Strength cannot be taught, only demonstrated, and the same goes for happiness.
Everyone must learn to be happy, it isn't something that you can buy or earn, its far more esoteric than that. It is something that you either have or you don't have, it is a state of mind and therefore being truly happy is something that you must learn to do on your own. It is something that you have to choose, even in the face of great adversity, and no one else can give you the minerals to do that. Being truly happy, in spite of life's adversities or suffering is a real skill, and it's one that you have to master yourself. 
However, strength and happiness are not the only things that you must learn to master alone, let's not forget two of the toughest things that you will have to learn in this life, how to forgive and how to love. The saying 'the heart wants what the heart wants' certainly has some truth to it. You cannot make your heart feel what it doesn't want to feel, and learning to love others and yourself unconditionally is an exceptionally difficult challenge and something that people spend many lifetimes trying to learn to do well. Learning to love and willingly give over of yourself without restriction is not easy, and again like all things that you cannot learn from someone else, from a book or just purchase online; it is unique, emotional and challenging to master. 
I think that the art of forgiveness may well be the most difficult of all things that you will have to learn on your own. Being hurt is part of life and it is natural to have your feelings crushed or your hopes dashed by difficult people or even worse, the people that you care about or love the most. But learning that forgiveness can set you free and release you from potential hard-heartedness is something that you simply have to learn to do on your own. No-one can make you forgive another, or tell you to forgive another, you must do it yourself, when you are ready, and where and when that forgiveness happens is yours alone to determine. 
There is no manual for the toughest lessons, and there is no way to give a person true strength or happiness, or the ability to love and forgive. The best that anyone can ever do to instill these qualities in another is to work hard to master them themselves, so that they can at least be a good role model. However in saying that, I do believe that these skills are lifelong endeavours and certainly not something that you can master easily or quickly, and to imply that they are easily managed would be both flippant and ridiculous.
Everyone knows that all of the best fruit on the 'tree of life' is hanging out on the furthest limbs, it is tricky to reach and even harder to pluck, but it is there to be seen nonetheless. There is nothing wrong with forging forward, staying the course and continuing to learn with an open mind and a willingness to go the hard yards alone; and even if you don't ever fully learn to master the hardest lessons that you are expected to manage on your own, you won't ever regret trying. 

And just like that, two weeks of holiday bliss has passed me by again. This time I got to do all of the things that I had set out to do at the beginning of the break. I read a novel, binge watched entire an TV series and saw some terrific movies, painted at the easel, went for a walk everyday, slept in, caught up with a some friends, chilled out with my kids, did yoga and meditation everyday, drank some good whiskey, replanted by garden beds and vegetable patch and just breathed in all of the fabulousness that a fortnight of respite can offer. For the first time ever, I did not run around, I did not make an extensive to do list, I did not chase anyone for a catch up; in fact I barely even left Enfield unless I absolutely had to, and it was one of the most peaceful breaks that I have enjoyed in some time. Above all else, I rested and I rebooted myself for the final and undoubtedly busiest term of the year which is probably the most important thing to do at this stage of the year. 
Finding grace and calm during the busier times of the year is always a challenge, so setting yourself up correctly at the launch pad is always a very wise choice. In 2007, Randy Pausch (a professor from Carnegie Mellon University in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania who had terminal cancer) made a final lecture, entitled Last Lecture, about the most important lessons that he had learned in his life. The lecture became an internet sensation, inspiring millions of people around the globe and spawned an international best-selling book that would be interpreted into 35 languages. In his lecture Randy eloquently says, among many other pearls of wisdom,  "we cannot change the cards that we are dealt, just how we play the hand."
The most resilient and impressive leaders of our time have used this philosophy to stay the the course and to show courage in the face of adversity. The people that use the most challenging times of their lives as valuable teaching moments (for themselves or others) are the wisest and strongest people. And the bottom line is, that in the struggle, there is real growth. And even though I would love to swan around in downward facing dog and wander about the Enfield forest every other afternoon, that is not the only way that my soul is going to get fed. By avoiding all contact, challenge and confrontation I am not really stretching my boundaries as a person and I am not really fulfilling my potential to make a difference. The struggle is important, the struggle is valuable and the struggle is necessary. 
So raise a glass to challenge, welcome some adversity into your life. Don't let it make you furious, let it keep you curious. Like I said in my previous writings, it's all about turning straw into gold and finding the joy in all states of being. Yes, there is a time for rest and relaxation, but there is also a time for action and progress and I recognise that the time for me to pick up my tools and continue with the work at hand has arrived, and I feel like I am ready and recharged for the task ahead. This time, I welcome the return.

One of the biggest obstacles that I have faced in my Transcendental Meditation (TM) practises so far has been the relinquishing of my power to control everything, to accept and just let go. Learning to accept all of the aspects of my life and work from a place of non-judgement is not as easy as it may seem and it does require a certain shedding of old habits to make room for new pathways and states of being to generate.
The further that I delved into the inner workings of my own mind (a labyrinth of unchartered territory exists in there I can assure you), the more aware that I am becoming of the layers of hidden anger and hurt that I have shoved down over the years. This anger has manifested itself in so many ways in my life in the past. It has been a merciless beast that has stood in the path of my own happiness, manifesting itself in unpleasant ways through my fear, boredom, ill-will, judgement and criticism. TM is forcing me to challenge those old ways and thought patterns, and it is creating a space for me to 'turn straw into gold.' 
Just like the maiden that is locked in a room and forced to spin straw into gold in the fairytale Rumpelstiltskin, we too have the ability to use our problems and old default modes to discover a true inner wisdom, peace and love. In his book A Path With Heart, Jack Kornfield discusses this exact topic and the ways in which we can overcome these apparent obstacles to uncover a better and higher way of thinking.
It is perfectly normal to have and feel all of these emotions, even the most adept yogis and zen masters in the world still have a myriad of these emotions, they don't just cease to exist because you have found your enlightenment. All emotional states are an integral part of living and they are vital to our growth and development as a whole being. It is not the emotion itself that even matters, it is the way in which we approach these thoughts and feelings that determines how much energy we are willing to invest in them and whether we view them as either straw or gold. 
Think of of it in terms of this ancient and extremely wise tale about a poisoned tree. On discovering the poisoned tree, some people immediately saw it as a threat and exclaimed that it should be cut down at once and destroyed. 'Burn it as well', they demanded, 'so that no more seeds can ever grow again and no-one will ever eat the fruit of the poisoned tree'. This reaction resembles our initial response to the difficulties that arise in our lives, when we encounter aggression, compulsion, greed, or fear, when faced with stress, loss, conflict, depression or sorrow in ourselves or others, our initial response is to avoid, destroy and remove the threat. 
Other people, who may have journeyed further along in life will discover the poisoned tree and have no aversion to it at all. They know you must remain open to all things in this life. They will say, 'do not cut this tree down. Instead let's have compassion for the tree'. They will build a fence around the tree so that it may keep its life and so that others may not be poisoned by it. This approach shows a profound shift of relationship from judgement and fear to compassion. 
And then there is a third type of person, who has travelled even further in life and has much vision and thought, and when they see the same poisoned tree they will exclaim 'Oh! A poisoned tree, perfect! Just what I was looking for'. This individual will pick the poisoned fruit off the tree and investigate its properties, mix it with a bunch of other ingredients and then use the poison as a great medicine to heal the sick and transform the ills of the world. Through respect, intelligence and an understanding that even from great adversity comes wonderful opportunity, this person will find value even in the most difficult of circumstances. This last person has mastered the art of making straw into gold, and we all have the opportunity to become that person by considering the way in which we meet our disappointments, obstacles, challenges and heartaches. 
Through deepening my ability to listen to my inner self (mind, body and spirit), I am becoming more and more aware of my own negative reactions and feelings, as well as my positive ones. I am slowly learning that no state is any more or less valuable than any other, and that all aspects of life and living are valuable and precious. I am trying to learn the art of making straw into gold, and although it is going to take me a long time to learn to do that really well, I am learning none-the-less; which means that I am on a path of self discovery.
That fact alone, is much more than I could have ever hoped TM would offer to me. I have been very fortunate to be able to have the time to embark on this experiment of the soul and it is pretty safe to say that I will be continuing my practises. At this point I would also happily recommend a regular meditation practice (of any type, not just TM)  to everyone,  because we all need to get a little better at making straw into gold and nurturing ourselves. 

One thing that I sure do love about having some extra recreational time in my life is being able to curl up on the couch with a coffee in one hand and a fabulous novel in the other and just read for hours without interruption. Reading is such a pleasurable activity and it is something that so often gets pushed to the wayside for me when I get really busy and it is something that I definitely look forward to indulging when time allows. I try hard to read at least one book and one entire magazine every month (Empire is my preferred choice) and if I don't read at least 10 books over the year, then I feel like I have failed terribly on the reading front. 
These days more and more people are reaching for an e-book for convenience and ease when it comes to their reading needs, but there are actually some extraordinary and scientific reasons to pick up a 'real' book and lose yourself, and a lot of those reasons are linked to health and wellbeing.  
Firstly, and probably foremost, reading increases your intelligence. Remember Dr Seuss' old chestnut? - "the more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you'll go."  Well, there is quite a lot of evidence to support that statement and according to a paper from the University of California, people that are exposed to higher amounts of vocabulary through literature and conversation have higher academic performance and higher IQ's in general.
Reading a 'real' book over a 'screen' book will also increase your reading speed by as much as 20-30% and a real book has been proven to engage memory more significantly than a screen book can because the physical act of turning a page offers your brain a tactile reference to the context which helps you to recall the information with more accuracy in the future. So if it's a reference or study book that you are reading then you should always opt for the real version over the e-book. 
Reading works for your brain in the same way that jogging works for your cardiovascular system, and regular reading improves your brain's memory function, which helps to keep your mind sharper and your processing abilities honed. In turn, that reduces your chances of having lowered mental function and cognition as you get older. And it is now a well known fact that people that read, play chess and complete puzzles are up to 2.5 times less likely to get Alzheimer's disease than people who don't, which proves that reading is actually vital to maintaining excellent mental functions.
Reading has also been scientifically proven to improve empathy and an understanding of other people's mental states. Turns out that every time that you get 'lost' in a novel, that you are actually building up the skills in your brain that allow you to understand complex social relationships and the characteristics of human societies. Which basically means that reading makes you more emotionally intelligent in the long run. 
On top of all that, reading also helps to reduce stress levels by up to 68% and reading before retiring in the evening has been proven to offer a more restful and sound sleep, but again it needs to be 'real' book and not a screen novel that you are reading, because looking at a screen before you go to sleep has the opposite effect. 
If all of that hasn't convinced you that you need to read more often, than I don't know what will. Seriously, go and get a book and get reading, it is so good for you! And if you don't know what to read, well of course I have you covered there as well!
Here is a list of 20 of my all time favourite books (in no particular order) for you to get lost in if you need a good place to start:

1. The Harry Potter Series by J.K. Rowling (my fave book series of all time)
2. Life of Pi by Yann Martel
3. Ready Player One by Ernest Cline
4. Let the Right One In by John Ajvide Lindqvist
5. Going Bovine by Libba Bray
6. I Am Legend by Richard Matheson
7. The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern
8. The Solitaire Mystery by Jostein Gaarder
9. The Industry of Souls by Martin Booth
10. Geek Love by Katherine Dunn
11. Big Brother by Lionel Shriver 
12. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time by Mark Haddon
13. Interview With the Vampire by Anne Rice
14. Crank by Ellen Hopkins
15. Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell by Susanna Clarke
16. The Bartimaeus Trilogy by Jonathan Stroud
17. Like Water for Chocolate by Laura Esquivel 
18. Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka
19. Gods Behaving Badly by Marie Phillips 
20. The Lord of the Rings Trilogy by J.R.R Tolkien

I did something this week that I have never done before in my life, I asked to speak to a manager about poor customer service. Being a person who used to work in the service industry myself, I think that I am pretty lenient when it comes to customer service. I understand that no-one can be at their best 100% of the time and I am usually reasonably accommodating to that fact. I normally would never request to speak a store manager to complain or 'dob' in a worker for their poor service, but on Friday at a well known Australian supermarket chain, I did. And I did it because of the disgraceful service that I received from not one, but two of their staff. 
Let me tell you exactly what occurred. I was in the fresh produce section and realised that there were no produce plastic bags on the rolls in the area that I was in, none in that entire row actually, and I stopped a young female staff member as she was scooting past me and asked -'excuse me, there are no plastic bags in this aisle, could I please get some more?' She did not speak to me, but held out a hand and pointed to another staff member at the other end of the isle, which I found extremely rude for a start. Then when I started to approach the other staff member that she had directed me towards, she quickly wheeled her cart out the back and was gone. Hmmmmm....okay, clearly not the best customer service day at this supermarket, but I just laughed and turned to Seth and commented to him that it was a 'not my job - not my problem' situation and went on with my shopping. 
That was when I overheard the young female staff member that I had first approached at the end of another produce isle, casually bitching to a fellow staff member about how rude all of the customers were today and how she was tired of our surly behaviour. They were both laughing and agreeing and then the first female walked away and the one that she was moaning to came to my end of the produce section. I'm not going to lie here, I was actually pretty annoyed at this stage and I approached the new female staff member and calmly said 'Hello, I was wondering if we could get some plastic bags on the rolls down this isle because there aren't any. I did already ask the young lady that was busy bitching to you down the other end about how surly the customers are today, but she didn't even have the respect to speak to me.'
At first the girl looked shocked, she shifted from foot to foot and then she laughed and said 'we don't have any more bags,' and then she turned her back to me and went on with stacking the fruit. I went on to say, 'you are joking, are you seriously trying to tell me that there aren't any replacement produce bags in this supermarket?' and she then replied to me in a very condescending tone.... now wait for it because this was the when the pin popped out of my grenade, 'there's some in other isles you know, just go and get one from the other end of the produce section.' And that was it, I was just absolutely livid...I felt really really angry, I was triggered, it was like a bomb went off in me. For some reason this simple chain of events had really got me cross, cross enough to go to another staff member and ask to speak to a manager. 
I would like to point out that in spite of me feeling exceptionally cross, I did not yell and I did not abuse anyone, I just calmly told the manager what had happened, and I stated that the young ladies had made me feel extremely unwelcome in the store and that the customer service standards were absolutely appalling. And get this, while I was telling the manager my story, the two young ladies that had just made me feel like crap were standing together in the produce section eyeballing me, whispering behind their hands and giggling, which I also pointed out to the manager in the hope that they would get a decent arse kicking for being so flippant and rude. 
Easily the worst customer service that I have ever had in my life - EVER! And after speaking to the manager who just seemed as ill equipped and lost as his dreadful produce girls, I went home and got onto the supermarket website and made another formal complaint. I was on a roll! And like I said, I would normally just let things go, but I have never felt so mistreated in a shopping environment in my entire life, and considering the fact that I didn't even shout, demand or abuse anyone, then the treatment that I got was totally uncalled for as well. 
I am hoping that this is just an isolated incident and that it isn't an illustration of how low customer service standards have fallen recently, because if I had to put up with that shit every time that I went out shopping, then I would just start to shop online. Talk about ruining a person's zen on a Friday afternoon, it was not a nice start to my weekend at all!

In life we are constantly faced with a series of choices and decisions. Some of those choices are simplistic and really don't require any deep thinking on our behalf, they are the no-brainer choices that we make everyday on autopilot, mundane things like 'what will I have for breakfast today, toast or cereal?' And other times the decisions that lay ahead of us are profoundly life altering, and making a choice one way or another can seriously alter the way that our lives will play out. 
There is nothing that any of us can do to avoid facing the fork in the road from time to time. Sometimes we feel ready to make changes and we are happy to discover a crossroad up ahead, and then other times we feel completely ill equipped to choose any of the roads that we are presented with; but the roads rise up to meet us nonetheless and in turn force us to decide our fate.
With decision making (like all choices) there are consequences, and we all want to avoid any bad ones as much as we can and carry our choices with us for the long haul. We all need to be able to live with our decisions, but sometimes things are not as clear cut as we would like them to be and we can find ourselves tossing around in bed at night, anguishing over the 'what ifs' and 'why did I's' that life sometimes dishes out to us. 
So, how do you live with the bad choices that you've made? How do you move on from a poor decision or a dreadful consequence? Well, you just do really, because you have to. It's either that or let it eat away at you until you are just a big ball of anxiety and self loathing and no-one wants to be either of those things. But living with the decisions that you make, good or bad, is certainly easier said than done, and I am yet to meet anyone that doesn't have any regrets about some of the choices that they have made in their past.
And I guess that there is something seriously comforting in that knowledge; that all of us do have regrets and that all of us do make mistakes from time to time. And just knowing that it is okay to do stupid things, say stupid things and make horrific mistakes from time to  time and then put them behind us and move on with our lives is good stuff to know. It's one thing that we all have in common, and in accepting our flaws, faults and mistakes, we can better accept the flaws, faults and mistakes of others as well. It's all part of the process of finding the whole self and getting a little better at 'life-ing.'
However, that being said, I do believe that one should always try to avoid making horrific choices as often as possible as well. Just because we all make mistakes doesn't mean that we should all throw caution to the wind making decisions without thought or in disregard to all consequence. Quite the opposite really, I believe that all choices should be made mindfully and purposefully; with longevity, community and humility always being at the forefront of any choice. An extra day of pondering can allow a lifetime of regret to become a lifetime of happiness, and that is certainly something to consider.
I once read that you should never make decisions when you're angry or elated because neither are sustainable feelings, and I do think that most of the bad choices that I have made in my life were generally during either my angry or elated moments. So I think that there is definitely some sound advice to be found in that little slice of wisdom, and any advice that can leads us to a guilt free, calm and settled lifestyle is good advice in my eyes.
​Even though there is no magic formula when it comes to the best life choices, just remember to always sleep on any big decisions and never allow yourself to feel rushed or pressed to make a big life decision. As for the little stuff, let that shit go, if it isn't going to matter in six months from now, then it isn't worth losing sleep over, let it slide off you like water off a duck's back. And anything that happened more than six months ago is well and truly over, so make peace with your mistakes, own them, learn from them and move on knowing that you just got a little bit better. 

What the hell is Transcendental Meditation (TM) and what is the deal with all of the buzz surrounding it? Every famous person and their dog seems to be investing in the power of Transcendental Meditation, claiming that it is a total game changer that is easy to do and simple to access. I have been spending a bit of my free time looking into the rising phenomenon of TM and trying to work out what it is actually all about and whether or not it is just another zen-based sham that hooks in unsuspecting people that are just looking to get a little more well-being into their lives.
From what I can understand, TM dates all the way back to the Vedic traditions of India, however the primary person responsible for bringing it to Western cultures during the 1960's and 1970's was Maharishi Mahesh yogi. He taught his methods to various people who then became his disciples, spreading out and teaching his TM methods to millions of people around the globe. Maharishi Mahesh yogi himself has also taught many celebrities the art of TM, including the Beatles way back in the 60's, which would explain the Sergeant Pepper phase of The Beatles musical career. 
The meditation practice itself apparently involves the use of a simple and natural technique that requires the repetition of a mantra for 15-20 minutes twice a day whilst sitting with your eyes closed. Sounds pretty simple right? TM also vehemently claims that it is NOT religion or a philosophy of any sort, just a new way of engaging and calming the mind.
It is reported to be one of the most widely practised forms of meditation today as well as the most researched form of meditation being used. Users swear by its life changing benefits and famous people are seriously jumping on board the TM bandwagon like bees swarming around a honey pot. Some famous people are extremely vocal about their appreciation of the practice and are constantly online tooting and tweeting about TM's miraculous benefits. Celebs like Ellen Degeneres, Hugh Jackman, Cameron Diaz, Jerry Seinfeld, Paul McCartney, Russell Brand, Katy Perry are all huge advocators, and director David Lynch has even opened his own foundations to support the use of this ancient Vedic practise.
The transcendental meditation process has been proven to help people heal from addiction, depression, insomnia, PTSD, loss and anxiety with very positive results, and it is even being used effectively to assist children with ADHD and Autism with managing their levels of stress as well. Is there nothing that TM cannot do? It literally sounds like a wonder drug doesn't it? So why aren't we all doing it if it's so damn good?
Well the answer to that is quite simple really, it's frickin' hella expensive! Around $1500 for 4 x 60 to 90 minute sessions to be exact, and that is why we aren't all TM ourselves stupid all of the time, it's not free to get that zen apparently! However, after further delving into TM, it appears that there are in fact free avenues that can be accessed, and that you can save yourself a lot of money if you look into those methods before committing to a very expensive program.
The feedback that I have seen from the free methods, does appear to be as good as the actual TM trademark, but hey, the proof is in the pudding right? So I am personally committing to trialing a 30 day TM program (the free method of course because I am not paying anyone $1500 for four hours of meditation) and I will let you all know just how life changing TM is over the coming weeks. Will it be as amazing as all of the propaganda claims that it is? Or is TM really just a Vedic based money making machine for the rich and the famous? Watch this space and I will keep you informed as the month unfolds. 

Mental wellness is something that most of us will struggle with at some point in our lives. Even the most seemingly 'put together' people have lapses into the world of imbalanced thought and mental challenge from time to time, they are just a lot better at hiding it from everyone. However, whatever walk of life you are from, whatever your background is, whatever your social standing is, you will inevitably, at some point, feel not so fantastic, wonder what the hell you are doing with your life and question whether you are operating at your best. 
It's completely normal to not feel 100% mentally balanced all of the time, hell some people lead very regular lives and feel mostly mentally unwell a lot of the time, it's just not something that a lot of people feel comfortable about proclaiming to the world, because no-one really wants to appear like they haven't got their shit together. However, letting pride dictate how we deal with our mental health issues is archaic and unproductive to societal wellness and we really need to strive to move away from that outdated and counterproductive mindset. We all really need to know, that it is totally okay to not feel okay all of the time. 
​As time rolls on and the methods of researching mental health improve, we are learning how to diagnose, treat and support each with our mental wellness; the old school shame and stigma that was attached to mental health is now being shed and people are feeling more comfortable to come forward, share their stories and be honest about how they are feeling, and in turn receive better support than they ever have been able to before. 
It is a brave new world when it comes to mental health. Gone are the days of closet depression and hidden anxieties as people are now learning to recognize and own their individual mental wellness levels. More people than ever before are seeking treatment and support and we are slowly but surely learning tolerance, detection, prevention and intervention that will definitely set us up for a brighter future together in the coming years.
And the real work surrounding mental wellness is something that we need to be vigilant about every day.  Each of us must make an effort to recognize the signs within ourselves that tell us when our levy has run dry or we have met our own personal limits. And those limits are unique for everyone, and we must respect that and support that understanding. We must become ninjas at recognizing when we are at the top of our game and when we may be feeling weak. When we are at our peak, we have an obligation to assist those that may be feeling weak, and when we are weak we need to feel safe and secure enough to seek support from the strong. We all owe it to each other to be tolerant, supportive and unwavering in our commitment to our own mental health and our support of the wellness of others. 
R U OK? Day is coming up on Thursday September 13th,  which is a national day dedicated to reminding us that we need to check in with each other and support each other with mental wellness. Don't forget to check in with your friends, family, work colleagues and community on that day, and every other day that you can when you are feeling strong enough to support the wellbeing of others. Mental health is the responsibility of us all and it's not something that we can ever afford to ignore. 

Growing up, it's a pretty overrated thing to do if you ask me. You only get to be a kid for around 18 years (although to be honest it is probably more like 15 years these days because the pressures, decision making and expectations start really early for kids now) and then after that, you're an adult - for the rest of your life! And being a 'grown up' is mostly just one big mix of constant responsibility and expectation, and although there is a lot of emotional intelligence that comes with being an adult, a lot of the other stuff is not nearly as fun as I imagined that it would be when I was a child. 
As a child I just wanted to grow up to look as hot as one of those sexy chicks from ABBA and wear really cool clothes, drink coloured liquids from flashy glasses and wear lurid make-up, because that is what cool adults appeared to be doing when I was growing up. I imagined that adult life would be uber cool, carefree and would basically resemble one big unending party of awesomeness where you got to eat whatever you wanted to and drink alcohol and dance the night away every night of the week; which I suppose that you can do as an adult if you don't have any real responsibilities. But who the hell has no real responsibilities? A Kardashian? No, not even a Kardashian, because I am pretty sure that even they probably do have things to get done as well! Seriously, a completely carefree adult life is pretty much a total pipe dream because all adults (even the really rich and famous ones) have responsibilities.
​Unfortunately, as a child, adults never tell you about all of the incredible responsibility and expectation to succeed that comes with being a grown up, but they really should.  I know that I wouldn't have been in a such a damn rush to grow up if I had known how difficult it was to be an adult for the rest of my life. I wish that I had had a realistic idea of what being an adult looked like, because it looks nothing like ABBA or high fashion for me or most of the other adults that I know. 
Most adults that I know are often running around on empty, looking and behaving in a pretty un-glamourous state most of the time. They are often worrying about money or their employment whilst trying hard to juggle their social, private and professional lives and many of them often claim to feel utterly overwhelmed with responsibility. Now if someone had of told me about that, and the realities of how you feel after partying every night, then I would not have rushed through my brief childhood years wishing that I was a grown up.
On the contrary, I think that I would have milked the shit out of being a kid for a bit longer! I like to think that I have still reserved some level of childlike whimsy in my life, but  let's not bullshit ourselves here, no almost 45 year old woman can get away with claiming their 'childlike whimsy' without raising a few eyebrows, it's considered too weird, even for the most open minded of us. And even though we all know how tough it is to be an adult and how much we all need respite from all of the pressure and responsibility of being an adult, we still willingly deny ourselves the opportunity to a embrace our childlike whimsy, which is pretty sad really. And not only  do we deny ourselves of it, we also frown upon other adults that are doing it because it is considered to be a bit on the kooky side. 
Well, if you know that you are doing that, than you need to stop doing it immediately. All adults need to not only keep a sense of childlike whimsy in their lives, but they need to reconnect with that part of themselves that believes that life can be carefree and fun, like we all believed it was when we were children. If you allow your life to get too bogged down in responsibility and expectation, then you stop really living and you just start surviving, and life is not meant to be survived, it is meant to be lived. Lived like you lived it as a child, without constant worry and concern, but with a sense of being in the moment and grabbing as much fun out of every minute along the way as you can. 
You may not be able to do it everyday, but on some days, you most certainly still can. You can still do loads of the things that will make you forget about your adult concerns for a minute and just be in the moment, you just have remember how to do it. Most of us forgotten how good it feels to forget our troubles and responsibilities and just cut loose. It is totally okay to dance all night long, or run in the grass, or drink coloured drinks from fancy glasses, or fly a kite, or climb a tree, or skip with a rope, or sing at the top of your voice when no-one is around.....or to just feel alive. That childlike whimsy may not be something that you feel particularly connected to any more, but you can't let go of your inner child, not ever. Your ability to reconnect to the wonder and free abandon of your inner child will help you to recognise how important it is to let go from time to time. 
​Allow yourself a bit of time to be childlike again, you'll be surprised how good it feel to not be in an adult mindset for a spell. Being an adult has it's rewards, but being in touch with your childlike whimsy is exceptionally rejuvenating and I highly recommend a break from adulting whenever you get the chance. 

CORALINE 
Release Date: 2009
Rating: PG
Running Time: 100 mins
Based on the Neil Gaiman novella of the same name, this stop-motion realisation is a dark little tale indeed. Having also read the book, I was delighted to see that none of the magic or the macabre had been watered down, but this is definitely not a movie for smaller children and parents should heed its PG rating. 
When curious Coraline finds another world that is a strange and yet more exciting version of her own, she thinks she has hit the jackpot. But things are not as they seem in this other world and something sinister is at play. 
Under Henry Selick's direction (Nightmare Before Christmas and James and the Giant Peach) you are going to get creepy undertones and deep metaphors, but you'll also get intelligent children's cinema, so hooray for that - I loved it!
FINAL SAY: I don't want buttons for eyes!
4 Chilli Peppers ​

Last night I went to see BlacKkKlansman at the cinema, which I really enjoyed and felt was very 'of the moment' given the climate of racial tensions around the globe at the moment. The movie really got me thinking about how undeniably evident it is that we have such a long way to go when it comes to tolerance, equality and prejudice, and I feel really overwhelmed by the amount of hate that still exists in our so called civilised and evolved world. And all of that hate does pose some concerning questions around the true nature of how evolved we really are. 
I only recently discovered that it is frowned upon to use the term #alllivesmatter. I must have been living under a rock for the last 3 years, because I had always believed that it was a slogan associated with a person's respect for every living thing -  equally - every human, every animal and every plant - EVERYTHING LIVING! But apparently that hippy theory of mine is definitely not the case. 
To use or support #alllivesmatter is considered deeply offensive because white people have used it as a form of racial slander against the #blacklivesmatter campaign, which in turn created further tensions and stirred up more hate and fighting, and now there is no way that I can use that term in good conscience.
I am so naive about the whole topic that I literally had no idea that it was even racially linked! I genuinely do believe that all lives matter but I am definitely not going to use that term again because for one thing, I am white and for another, I am afraid that I will offend someone unintentionally if I do use it. I am most certainly not at a racist, and I would not like to be mistaken for one just because I ignorantly misused the term #alllivesmatter. 
​There is just no room in this world for all of the hate and all of the tension that is occurring on a daily basis. There is absolutely nothing to be gained from everyone pointing out how different we all are from each other all of the time, what we really should be working harder to do is to find more common ground. We are all more alike than we are unalike, and when it comes to this beautiful planet of ours we really are all on the same side. 
We need to unite and together we need to march for peace not power. We need to celebrate our differences and empower each other to love and most importantly to heal from a very fractured past. We need to learn to stand tall side by side, against tyranny and oppression, and find peaceful ways to move forwards together with our energies firmly invested on nurturing our planet...but we all know that we are not even close to achieving that goal right now. 
While our planet, the one place that we all share together and the one thing that we all have in common withers beneath our feet, we - the people of the globe, would still rather fight and disempower and hate and rape and pillage and steal and condemn; and honestly it just breaks my heart that we are still so damn disillusioned and blinded that we can't see how easy it would be to just love one another instead.
Call me a hippy, call me a dreamer and yes, I suppose that I am both of those things, but you cannot deny that the world would be a far better place to live if we could all just move forward together with a greater purpose. I would love to see that happen in my lifetime, but in reality I am happy to plan and work towards it happening in my grandchildren's; because like I said, we've got a long way to go and the work needs to start now. 

I adore music and just like movies and TV, I love music in all forms and all genres, with the exception of Country and Western and Scream-O, I just can't get into them, and I sincerely apologise to any die hard C & W  or S-O fans out there, but I have tried both and they are definitely not for me. However in saying that, I do respect that both of those music genres have a lot of avid fans. And I also strongly believe that any form of music that can transport you to another place or make you feel a certain way is a success on some level. Whether you like a certain style of music or not is irrelevant anyway, because music is an art form and it is not supposed to appeal to everyone's tastes, and like art is about finding a form that suits you and your personal taste the best. 
It is music's unfailing ability to create a mood, set a scene or transport you to another time that appeals to me the most. I have music compilations on Spotify for every mood and moment, from deep transcendental meditations to high energy dance music, and I regularly listen to them all.
The other day while I was perusing Pinterest I came across a list of 30 questions about music that was a lot of fun to complete. The list of questions had me rummaging about through my old CD collection and scrolling through my playlists and reminiscing about all of my favourite songs. I found myself downloading and listening to a heap of songs that I had long forgotten about, and because I had such a great time answering the questions on that list, then I thought that I should share it with you all so that you can have a go at answering them as well.
I would also like to note that it is a lot of fun to complete this list after you've had a couple of drinks, and it would probably be really good fun to complete with a friend and/or partner as well, but you can always just go solo as I did and still have a blast belting out your old favourite tunes.
So, without further ado, here is the list:
1. A song you like with a colour in the title.
2. A song you like with a number in it.
3. A song that reminds you of the summertime.
4. A song that reminds you of someone that you would rather forget about.
5. A song that needs to be played LOUD!
6. A song that makes you want to dance.
7. A song to drive to.
8. A song about drugs or alcohol.
9. A song that makes you happy.
10. A song that makes you sad.
11. A song that you never get tired of.
12. A song from your preteen years.
13. One of your favourite songs from the 80's.
14. A song that you would love to have played/ or played at your wedding.
15. A cover song that you love.
16. A classical song that you love.
17. A duet song that you would be willing to perform at karaoke.
18. A song from the year that you were born that you love.
19. A song that make you ponder life. 
20. A song that you want played at your funeral.
21. A favourite song with a person's name in the title.
22. A song that motivates you to get going or move on. 
23. A song that you think that everyone should listen to. 
24. A song that you love by an artist that has died.
25. A song by a band that you wish were still together.
26. A song that makes you think about falling in love.
27. A song that breaks your heart.
28. A song by an artist with a voice that you love.
29. A song from your childhood.
30. A song that you think best sums up who you are. 
There you go, hours of musical thinking, pondering and some deep emotional responses to get through on that list, and I still haven't even finished my own list completely yet, it's a work in progress.
If this list doesn't define some of your musical preferences for you, then I don't know if anything will, but anyway, just go and get lost in some musical memories for a few hours because it's just a really nice thing to do a rainy day. 

WHIPLASH
Release Date: 2014
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 107 mins 
Written and directed by Damien Chazelle, and based on his experiences in the Princeton High School Studio Band, this film took the cinematic world by surprise with it's gripping and inspiring story about an ambitious young drummer. J.K. Simmons won the Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor for his disturbing portrayal of the abusive teacher Fletcher, and the movie has since gone on to win a host of over 80 other film awards. 
When Andrew (Miles Teller) finally gets accepted into a prestigious jazz music academy for his drumming abilities, he thinks that his dreams have come true. However, he soon realises that his teacher, Professor Terence Fletcher (J.K. Simmons), is a tyrannical perfectionist that will push Andrew to his limits and beyond. 
There is such a raw intensity to this movie; watching the determination of  Andrew as he struggles with his emotional abuse in search of his artistic glory is pretty tough going. When it comes to Whiplash, it truly is a case of 'the agony and the ecstasy,' and with that heart thumping soundtrack racing along in the background all of the time, it keeps a dramatic and intense pace. 
FINAL SAY: Were you rushing or were you dragging? 
3.5 Chilli Peppers ​

Even though I like to think of myself as being reasonably tech savvy, the truth is that I am still totally old school when it comes to certain things. Everyone that was born a Gen X (as I was) or earlier likes to imagine that they are really up with the latest mod cons and gadgetry that is available today, but anyone that even says 'mod cons' is not nearly as tech savvy as they would like to think they are and I know for a fact that I fall into that category. 
I shamefully still read all of my books and magazines in hard copy, regardless of the abundant opportunities that I have to go digital, which is pretty crazy but hey, I like to feel a book in my hand, it's part of my make up now. In fact I even still subscribe to magazines in hard copy and borrow books and DVD's from the local library  which I am pretty sure that no-one under 40 is doing these days. But as I said, it's in my blood now. When you have been doing something for long enough, it is hard to let go of it, even when you are aware that a new and probably better way is available to you. 
So is that just a way of kicking it old school or is it really being an old fuddy duddy pain in the arse? Because I think that I am starting to tread a thin line lately. I still adore a whole lot of old school and dated things that most people are totally over. Like photographs, not instagram shots, but real photos of real people doing real things, that you can hold in your hand. Why do people not like photographs as much anymore? I am still nuts about photos and photo albums and I especially like really old photographs. I also still adore the virtually unused but absolutely amazing fountain pen, and I adore handwritten notes, poetry, cards and letters. I love home cooking, board games, collecting and handwriting recipes into my recipe book, keeping a journal, baking bread, picnics, talking on the phone and retro music compilations. 
Just the other day I caught myself reminiscing about an old school milk bar, the type that had all of the one and two cent lollies lined up under the glass and you could get a little white bag of goodies that were individually selected for just 10 cents. And there were real treasures to be had if you could be patient enough to save up for them, like the all so chic chocolate cigarettes at 25 cents a packet or the illustrious Bubble O' Bill that would set you back a few days of after school bliss to indulge in. I hate to use the term kids these days, but hell, I kind of have to....kids these days will never understand the joy of such a selection or the excitement that was felt when you spied the stamp for a free Sunny Boy ice block on the inside of the wrapper of the one that you had just opened. Pure innocent joy.
And kids today will never understand that joy because everything for them now is completely accessible and available all of the time. Nothing when I was growing up was available all of the time, and although it meant that we had to wait for everything, I think that we also cared about it more for that reason as well. It is true that innovation and technology has enabled a lot of progression, but some of those advances have caused societal and social setbacks that I doubt that any of us could've predicted.
So many people are virtually glued to their devices 24/7 now and they are completely removed from a lot of simple life pleasures. People are spending hours posting pictures, having rants and sharing various goings on about their lives on social media, but half of them don't even know how to hold a decent conversation anymore. It's pretty woeful in some respects. If keeping some old school practises alive makes me feel more alive and in touch with my life, then I am certainly not in any hurry to give them away. Call me corny or old fashioned, it really doesn't matter to me. I like what I like, and although I do love technology, I will always have a place in my heart for the traditional, the old school and the outdated things, even when everyone else has decided that they are unnecessary. 
​And did I tell you how much I love old school horror yet? 

How often do we hear about a relationship failing or a marriage ending in divorce? It seems to be happening more and more all of the time. Just last year 47,638 people got divorced in Australia, which means that 2.1% of the Australian population got divorced in 2017, and that doesn't even count the people that just seperated or broke up in a non-marital relationship. When you think about it in those terms, you do have to wonder if people are just giving up too soon on their relationships or if people are just picking the wrong partners to hook with up in the first place. 
The top ten most common reasons for getting a divorce are:

1. Getting married for the wrong reasons (eg. for the money) 
2. Lack of individual identity or codependence
3. Becoming lost in the roles 
4. Not having a shared vision
5. Lack of intimacy
6. Unmet expectations
7. Lack of finances
8. Being out of touch
9. No shared interests
10. Inability to resolve conflicts

Interestingly, no mention of infidelity there, so cheating or being unfaithful is not one of the main reasons that people break up, it is more about a lack of common ground and vision than anything else when you really look at it. Which is why I wonder if perhaps people just give up a little too easily.
I mean there must have been some common ground, shared vision, idea, expectation at some point for these two people to decided to walk down the aisle and pledge their undying love for each other in front of everyone that they knew, and I have to ask - what the hell happened to those feelings? How do two people that completely loved each other (enough to put themselves through a wedding) just  decide to stop loving each other and break up? Was there no sign that this person was going to do your head in before you went and married them? Did you just ignore that and go for it anyway? 
I know that some marriages are certainly better off ending than enduring, but I do think that maybe some people do quit a bit sooner than they should these days. The arrival of online dating and hookup opportunities has made a lot of people wonder if they are just settling, and the lure of a possibly 'better option' is definitely changing the amount of crap that people will put up with in a relationship. You can literally jump onto any dating website or download an app like Tinder and start looking for the next best thing right away after getting out of a relationship. People used to wait up to 3 years to start dating after a divorce but now some couples confess to being back on the dating scene within weeks of a separation in order to 'fill the space' that has been left behind, which is really quite concerning. 
41% of first marriages end in divorce now, 60% of second marriages and 73% of third marriages, which basically tells me that if it sucked the first time, it will probably suck the second and the third time around as well. And although I am not in any way advocating that you should never get married, divorced or remarried, what I am trying to say is that you need to make sure that it is really, truly and 100% absolutely what you want to do before you just start or end a serious relationship.
Breaking up sure is hard to do and staying together can be equally as hard if it just isn't working. I can tell you with all honesty that if I took flight everytime that my husband gave me the shits, that we would've been over a thousand times by now. Staying together takes work, a bloody shitload of hard work but you have to try, and if you've given it all that there is and it still isn't working than it is totally okay to walk away. Just don't give up too easily, because sometimes it's not as bad as it may seem at the time, and tempers, just like pie crust, soften after a few days and you don't want to throw away something really great because of a few hard yards. In short, what I am trying to say is, that it is totally okay to give up if it's really not working, but just don't give up too soon. 

As much as we want everything to remain somewhat logical in our lives, we do have to make peace with the reality of our lives as well, and that means that we need to be able to accept that some things just won't make any sense. In life, there will be many unanswered questions, confusing interludes, incomplete stories and unsolvable dilemmas, and that is just the tip of the iceberg, because essentially life is just one big mystery and for that reason, some parts of it are not going to make any sense at all; not even a bit. Some parts of your life will be downright frustrating and annoying and absolutely illogical and no matter how much you ponder it, it just won't make any sense. 
And there is absolutely nothing wrong with things not making sense or 'adding-up' in our lives, it should be expected a little more often if you ask me because it happens to us all from time to time. However, learning to accept that some things just won't make any sense and may not ever be properly resolved or understood can be extremely challenging for many of us. Knowing that some things just won't make sense and accepting that some things just won't make sense are not that same thing, and people get into all sorts of bother when they cannot accept when things aren't balancing out with their expectations or ideals.
We all like to imagine that our lives are pretty linear and that we have a certain amount of control over how things will play out for us. We also all get a bit excited about the prospect of a happy ending, a tidy resolution or a big box with a bow that we can pop things into and forget about until we are ready to pull them back out again; but in truth, life rarely allows for things to be that organized and logical, we just like to give ourselves the illusion that it does because it feels a shitload safer and saner than admitting that a lot of the time things just don't make any sense. 
Now I know that some people are going to disagree with me on this topic, claiming that there is always a reason for everything and that nothing just happens without there being a bigger or higher purpose to it all; and to those people I say bullshit!  You can believe whatever you want, but trust me when I tell you that not everything that happens in life occurs for a reason. A whole lot of shit that happens (and will happen to you in life) is utterly purposeless, pointless, meaningless and inconsequential, it is just stuff that happens that doesn't make sense and it doesn't need to. You don't need to fix it, you don't need to stay up late at night deconstructing it, you just have to accept it. It is that simple. Rather than adopting some privileged 'everything happens for a reason' mantra, what you really need to adopt  is the smarts to recognise what you can control in this life and what you cannot. What is worth your time and what is not and what needs fixing and what just needs to be accepted.
One of the greatest challenges that we are presented with in this life is learning to accept that some chapters in our lives have to close without any real closure at all and that no matter how many hours we may pour into some puzzles, the truth is that they were never actually made to be solved in the first place. Some things just won't make sense and nothing that we do, will ever make that truth any different and all that you have to do is accept that fact and get on with living your life. 

I hate to admit it, but I am secretly obsessed with finding out what Myers-Briggs personality type people are. I know that people say that the test is a certain amount of bullshit, but I find it really interesting to know what people come out as when they take the test. I do think that the test results make it a lot easier to understand how other people are perceiving the world around them, what makes them tick and how they will apply themselves to problems or team tasks. Call me naive, but I do think that there is something to the Myers Briggs test and most people do appear to suit their report results fairly well. 
As with all types of personality tests, there is never going to be any test that offers 100% accuracy. Some people will definitely get different results on different days, and I can see how mood could seriously affect the results in a personality test. Also if a person is neurotic or not able to own certain truths about themselves, that too could seriously alter the accuracy rates of this type of test.
So I guess what I am trying to say is, that although I do not believe that the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator is a definitive personality test to run your life by, I do believe that it is deeply interesting, and if you've not taken the test yet (or haven't in a long while) it is worth a revisit just for the fun of it. 
I have taken the test 4 times now, and every time I come out as an INFJ. I have had a ten year stretch between the first and the last time that I sat the test and it seems that I have not changed at all in that time, because I still got the same result. I am always:
Introverted
INtuitive
Feeling
Judging
The thing that I love to do the most with my results (because I clearly have nothing better to do with my time) is to type my personality type into google to see which famous characters have the same personality type as me. Kind of sad I know, but if you haven't already realized this by now, I am a huge pop culture fan, so of course I want to know who I am most like in my favourite TV shows and movies!
Here are some famous INFJ characters that share my personality type:
Galadriel (Lord of the Rings)
Remus Lupin (Harry Potter)
Daenerys Targaryen (GOT) 
Atticus Finch (To Kill a Mockingbird)
Jay Gatsby (The Great Gatsby)
Doctor Strange (Marvel) 
Groot (Guardians of the Galaxy) 
Elsa (Disney Princess) 
And in the real world, some famous INFJs include:
Gandhi
Kurt Cobain
Benedict Cumberbatch
Nicole Kidman
J K Rowling
Marilyn Manson
Al Pacino
Nelson Mandela
​Martin Luther King Jr.
But enough about me, you must be intrigued to know who you are most like by now yourself. You are literally only one google click away from total geekdom right now, and for that I do apologise! 

A dear friend of mine showcased her art for the first time this week in Ballarat. It was a mixed media exhibition entitled When I Grow Up which was produced by an art collaborative called SHEILAs which stands for Strong, Honest, Exceptional, Inspirational Lady Artists; the collaborative consists of local female artists of all ages. The art depicted in When I Grow Up was a reflection of each lady's unique experience of growing up; reflecting on what they had wanted to be, who had influenced them and who they had aspired to be when they were younger. Needless to say, it was terrific and gathered a diverse crowd of art enthusiasts and admirers, and it was fabulous to see so much support for my lovely friend who is generally known for being a quiet achiever and a generous spirit who always gives of herself in epic proportions to us all. 
The exhibition certainly got me thinking about what I had aspired to be when I was younger, and about the different people that had personally influenced me along the way. Growing up, even though I am one of five children, I do remember being on my own quite a lot of the time. My parents were very often busy since they both worked and were also extremely house proud, which did take up a big chunk of their time. I never really felt like my mother understood me completely as a child but I did always feel valued by my father who would often take time out to chat with me and as we got older, shared some of his deeper thoughts with me. Looking back on it now, I can see that he was probably the most influential adult in my life as a child.
My siblings were all older than I was and quite busy with their own lives when I was small, and they have always been outwardly vocal about how much of a burden I was as a child so I cannot identify any of them as influential to me; in fact I do believe that seeing me fail would have made some them exceptionally happy, which pretty much puts my relationship with my siblings into perspective. 
In light of this, I did spend a lot of time by myself growing up and that did allow me plenty of time for daydreaming, lollygagging and fantasizing, which was always a very big pre-occupation for me. ​For as long as I can remember I have always been interested in story telling and had wanted to be a writer from a very early age. I remember being mesmerized by picture storybooks when I was small and then became obsessed with writers like Roald Dahl, Judy Blume and Robyn Klein when I got a little older. ln primary school I would write all kinds of quirky stories and I was quite good at spinning a tall tale as well. I got into  a lot of trouble for lying as a kid, but I didn't often do it maliciously, it was just that my stories were always so much more exciting and interesting than my real life was, and storytelling was something that I was actually good at.
In secondary school I loved all of my literacy based subjects and spent much of my time reading books and writing bad poetry that no-one would ever read about the plight of being young and privileged! I had some truly terrific teachers over the years, really intelligent and inspirational people that not only encouraged me to write and tell my stories but who also took me under their wing and showed an interest in me as a person as well. I can fondly recall being invited over to my English Literature teacher's house with two other students to meet his wife and have a very adult dinner party at the end of year 12, because we had in fact all become very good friends. I felt like I finally had a voice and that people cared about what I was saying and as a young adult, it was pretty exciting. 
​Back then, I always thought that I would one day be a writer, teacher, lecturer or public speaker of some variety; but I equally adored the chance to perform and was very interested in drama, dance, the theatre and (no surprises here) all things cinematic. And how did that all pan out for me? Well, I won a Rotary public speaking award, I had some of my teenage angst poetry published by the Ballarat Writing Company, I started a teaching degree that I never finished, I tried writing a children's book that never got published (and rightfully so, it was trash) and I got a Diploma in Professional Writing and Editing, which did allow me to enjoy some small print publication success, but certainly nothing substantial. In the last four years the only thing that I have written aside from this blog (which I do love writing) has been some mediocre drunken poetry that no-one should ever have to read; and although I do like what I do for a living, I didn't exactly land where I had first aspired to be. 
I would be lying if I didn't admit that I would still love to work in theatre or cinema, and that I still do aspire to one day write that novel that has been burning within me for so very long, and just because I haven't done those things yet, doesn't mean that I won't do them either. I still have plenty of time to fill in the gaps and achieve my childhood dreams, but for now I am more than content to live out my dreams by regularly haunting the cinema and theatre and filling an enthusiastic seat, writing my blog twice a week and sharing my hopes, dreams, memories and aspirations with you all. Besides, there is no written law that says that we must be what we set out to become when we were children, we don't have to be the person that we pledged to be when we cried 'When I Grow Up,' we just have to be who we are, right now... and there is nothing wrong with that. 

Only three days back into term and....so far so good. I have actually really enjoyed my first few days back at work, the kids and the staff are all bright and shiny and well rested and it is always nice to see everyone when they are in such good spirits and portraying better versions of themselves.
Boy I am ever glad that we get those golden moments of respite (aka. fortnight of relief) after every term to recharge the batteries and reignite the fuse. The last two weeks have really allowed me to relaunch with much vigor and renewed enthusiasm, which I know for a fact that I was seriously flatlining on at the end of term two. It is amazing what a bit of rest and relaxation can do for the mind, body and soul and I do feel incredibly lucky to be able to have those blessed reboot moments regularly throughout the year. 
​Now I am just waiting for the weather to also turn itself around, however anyone with half a brain knows that the weather in Western Victoria can remain cold right up to Christmas and even beyond, so I am certainly not going to hold my breathe in July for a seasonal switch up. However, any day with a little extra sunshine and a little less wind is always welcomed at this point in the year, and like a lazy cat I am eagerly searching out any sign of sunshine that I can spot and attempting to absorb some extra Vitamin D from the pitiful rays that I am occasionally catching. 
The darkest days of the year are often a massive challenge, especially for me, but I have coped a lot better with them this year than I ever have before, which has been really great. Winter is long and hard enough without having to deal with melancholy moods and self loathing on top of everything else, so I am really grateful to have beaten my winter blues before they had a chance to really take hold this year. I know that I definitely feel a lot more settled and content than I did at this time last year, and that can really only be seen as progress in my mind. 
Perhaps you just get better at managing your own stress and bullshit as you get older, or maybe you just get to a certain point in your life where you start to realise that this is as good as it gets and that wasting your life feeling dreadful is really no way to live at all. All that I know for sure is that looking forward to every day and finding the best in every day, no matter how crappy it may seem at times, certainly makes life a lot more enjoyable. I'm hoping that I can keep on rolling out these positive vibes throughout this entire term, because it feels like I have just emerged from a dark place into the light and I really want to keep moving forward. 

Getting angry is a normal part of life. Everyone has a tipping point and it is okay to feel pissed off or annoyed from time to time. However, being angry all of the time is not only dreadful for you and everyone else around you, it is also really bad for your health and wellbeing and has been linked to all kinds of diseases and ongoing mental illnesses. Eliminating as much anger and stress from your life is something that everyone should make a priority and although I am certainly no expert on the issue, I have learned how to reduce my own anger substantially over the last few years by enlisting a few simple things into my daily routine.  
Firstly and foremost, I cannot speak highly enough of yoga and meditation when it comes to assisting people to manage their stress and anger levels. If you are looking to zen out your life, then you need to be going within because that's where you'll find your inner strength and peace. Mindfulness, relaxation, self care and creative practises have all been linked to the improvement of mental health, concentration, cognitive flexibility and coping abilities, and we all need more of that good stuff in our busy lives. However, if you are angry or stressed a lot of the time than you really need it and I cannot advocate for these practises enough, they have really turned my life around over the last few years and I am more calm and in control of my life than I have ever been before.
I also adopted a personal mantra earlier this year, which I know sounds extremely corny, but it has really worked wonders for me. I tell myself this mantra whenever I find myself getting overwhelmed, upset or disappointed with situations, actions or people. It is a mantra that is simple and yet extremely effective in calming me down and helping me to get my head back into the right place when I find myself steering off course and getting bogged down in other people's bullshit.
I like to whisper it to myself and take a couple of deep breaths as I do, which is I know is slightly reminiscent of the Goosfraba chant from the movie Anger Management, but what can I say, my mantra works and it has saved me from a lot of heartache, stress and possibly explosive moments on numerous occasions. My mantra is simply:

​        I am only responsible for myself and my behaviour.

I cannot tell you how many times I have reminded myself of this and how liberating it is to think in this way. The only thing that you will ever have 100% control of is you. Your words, your behaviour, your thoughts and your actions. When you start to accept that mantra as an absolute truth, it is not only liberating for your own stress and anger levels, but it also allows you to become liberated from other people's stress and anger. You don't have to take on anyone else's stuff as your own, because it is not yours, it is theirs; and they have to be responsible for their behaviour. 
I do highly recommend finding a personal mantra that works for you and trying it out when you find yourself in particularly stressful situations or when you feel your anger levels tweaking. We all deserve to live peaceful and harmonious lives and it is a challenge to not get bogged down in this busy and often insensitive world so why not try to manage your own anxiety in peaceful ways? You never know how zen you can get until you try. 

You think that you know people....but you never really do. We allow ourselves to believe that we know our family, our spouses and our friends pretty well because we like to think that we do, but the reality of that is actually quite different. When you spend a lot of a time with a person you like to think that you get a sense of who they are, what they believe in and what they stand for, but essentially we are all just compartmentalising people and putting them into pigeon holes that we feel comfortable with, and that does not necessarily portray who they really are at all. 
According to Nicholas Epley, author of "Mindwise: Why We Misunderstand What Others Think, Believe, Feel and Want," you probably don't know anyone nearly as well as you think you do. And you may also have a poor idea of how they'd assess you. Essentially, we fundamentally view ourselves from a very different perspective than other people do because we have a ton of information about ourselves. Based on that, we understand ourselves far better than others, and we also make our assessment on others based on that inner understanding of ourselves; which is where the problem lies. We automatically assume that other people are wired like we are, which is of course so very far from the truth; just because you are looking at the same thing, doesn't mean that you are seeing the same thing, and that leads to a lot of misinterpretation and heartache. 
Trust me when I say that I have been seriously deceived by people in the past that I wrongly believed that I knew really well. I have been utterly flabbergasted by the things that people who I truly loved and cared about, people that I thought were part of my tribe, have been cruel enough to do and say without a second thought. People that I trusted and defended and fought to protect, people that I thought felt the same way about me, but it was all just an illusion of love, they never really cared for me at all, in fact they hated me and the worst part of all was that I didn't even know how much they hated me. I completely misread these people and made a wrong assessment about who they were and how they felt about me. 
I cannot tell you how damaged that misinterpretation has left me as a person. You don't ever get over a hurt that deep, not ever. And I have been forever changed by my past experiences in ways that I wish that I hadn't, because I really miss feeling like I can trust people and open up to them, but I will never be able to completely trust like that ever again now. When you love people with all of the love that you have to give and they hurt you so viciously, there is really no coming back from that. All that is left in their place now is a raging sense of injustice and a shattering awareness that you can never really know anyone, no matter how much you want to think that you do. Assuming that people are feeling the things that you want them to feel is the most foolhardy thing in the world to do and I never want to go through that in this lifetime again. 
Once bitten, twice shy they say, and I am now tremendously shy, perhaps to the point of paranoid, but I have certainly learned that there is a huge difference between knowing someone and thinking that you know someone, and I will not make that mistake or get too comfortable with anyone like that, ever again.

I saw a list on Pinterest yesterday called 'No-Brainer Ways to Challenge Yourself Every Day' which in a way does slightly sound like an oxymoron in itself, however being me and always being keen to find new ways to improve myself, I did peruse the list and I really should've listened to my first thought about the oxymoron thing, because that was five minutes of my life that I am never going to get back again.  
I have to say, they probably should've called the list 'Shit You Should Already be Doing in Your Life: A List for Idiots' Now that may sound harsh to you, but trust me when I say that there was nothing to be gained from reading that list and there wasn't anything on that list that, if you have half a brain, you aren't already doing or attempting to do on a regular basis. 
Do we really need a list that reminds us to:
10. Cook a meal a day
11. Draw a picture
12. Read a book
13. Put down your phone and observe the world
25. Tackle chores
31. Exercise
What's next? Breathe in and out, use the toilet, have a shower at least once a day, go to bed at the end of every day? Kind of obvious stuff I would imagine. 
And what about these little chestnuts of information that none of us could live without when we are setting out to challenge ourselves:
16. Ask questions 
18. Set a goal
23. Quit a habit
30. Turn off the TV
Whaaat? Who wrote this sage advice list? The Guru Swarmie or Jesus Christ himself because this is AMAZING stuff?!?! 
But wait it gets even better, there are some suggestions that even sounded downright dangerous to me and were clearly designed for idiots that want to really push the boundaries of self challenge. Here's a couple of my favourite 'dreadful advice' tips from the list:
6. Talk with a stranger
14. Make eye contact with people you pass on the street
21. Get over a fear
22. Smile even if you're not feeling it
Number 6 and 14 are just asking for trouble in my mind, I mean is this a list on how to be misinterpreted for a stalker or is it a list on how to get one? And smile even when you're not feeling it does not sound very healthy to me. Surely that is completely counterproductive to a person's general wellbeing, mental health and emotional awareness? Just walk around smiling even if you're utterly miserable? And let's not downplay number 21 which very simply says - get over a fear, just like that, not that hard, just get over some deeply seated and probably deeply rooted fear that you have, shouldn't take very long, about as long as ohh, lets say - turning off the TV?
Don't get me wrong, I am all for challenging yourself, but the list was called 'No-Brainer' ways to Challenge Yourself Every Day, I don't really see how quitting a habit or overcoming a fear is 'No Brainer.' That is bloody far from no-brainer, and can't really placed onto a list that includes turn off the TV and read a book, can it?
​Anyway, enough of a rant. I am just genuinely tired of seeing these so called challenging/ self improvement lists everywhere that are either dumb as dog shit obvious or ridiculously unattainable. Where is the happy medium I ask? I would much rather see lists called 'self care' or 'self kindness' any day of the week, because being gentle, nurturing and kind to yourself is actually a massive and ongoing challenge that we all face, and it should always come first in my mind. Ditch the unnecessary challenges and embrace the best of yourself, I guarantee that you'll be much happier in the long run.

After nearly eleven weeks of term, watching the children at school develop and the days grow colder and wetter, we have finally arrived on the cusp of the the winter school holiday break. I cannot tell how much I am looking forward to happily wasting time that I will actually have the pleasure to waste. It's been a lot of 'go' and very little 'whoa' for me this year, and although I have really loved all of the new challenges that my new position has offered to me, and believe me when I say that there have many;  I am more than willing to admit that I do need a break right about now.
A few sleep ins, some couch slouching, a movie marathon or two, a good novel,  a catch up with friends, some quality, unhurried time with the people that I love, some time in the garden and probably some time at the easel as well....ah yeah.... it is all looking very promising and I am more in need of a serious reboot than I have been in a very long time, so I intend to spend my time wisely. 
The year so far has gone by at an incredible pace, it's really quite hard to get my head around the fact that we are actually half way through another year already. Last Christmas really doesn't seem all that long ago to me. Is it age that makes time speed up like it does, or is it that we just keep cramming more and more into our lives and that is why we appear to have less and less time?
I can't say for sure, but I do know that I am looking forward to the next two weeks slowing right down to a snail's pace as I switch myself back a notch, lose myself in the quiet of contemplation, tune myself out for a spell and focus on all of the things that I love most about this crazy world and none of the stuff that I don't.