I am currently listening to a life altering audio book called The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment  by Eckhart Tolle. It is both the most interesting book that I have ever engaged and the most perplexing book that I have ever encountered. Basically the book stresses the importance of of living only in the present moment of your life, meaning that you should not be thinking about the future or the past but rather allowing yourself to be completely and totally absorbed by the present moment of your life (which is otherwise known as - The Now).
This book is the ultimate guide to extreme and absolute presence, or if I'm going to go with the buzzword of the decade - mindfulness. And I cannot deny that being 100% in the present moment feels pretty much an impossibility for me to do, in fact most of the time it feels downright wrong, neglectful and lazy to do it. And that is because I have been so conditioned to pay attention to external things and concentrate on the next thing that is coming or drawing from my past that I have actually spent hardly any time at all in the actual moment that I was in at any given time. And not only that, but we have also been conditioned to identify ourselves based on our inability to be in the moment and therefore limit our true potentials. Sounds complex I know, but it all does make sense, let me break it down for you. 
When your thoughts are concerned in the present only you will experience the following:

• Increased awareness of what is happening.
• Strong and focused attention to tasks.
• More enjoyment of life pleasures. 
• An ability to perceive without judgement - knowing that you don't have to label or identify. 
• An ability to step back from your emotions and observe them. 
• Realisation of your potentials.
• Openness, curiosity and acceptance. 

When you are not concerned with the present moment, you will be experiencing:

• Autopilot reactions to situations based on habits.
• Poor attentional control.
• A flippant and non-appreciative attitude to life pleasures. 
• Reliving past experiences and projecting them into your future endeavours. 
• Labelling and judging things as good or bad, right or wrong.
• Your brain emotionally hijacking your responses.
• Neglect of your potential. 
• A limiting attitude. 

So whether you call it being in The Now or practicing Mindfulness, you have to admit the benefits of being in the present moment are far more appealing than not being in the present moment right? However, actually staying in that mindful and present moment is really challenging, and it takes practise and effort to stop your brain from hijacking your thoughts and forcing you back into deep seated and well worn patterns of habit that are derived from your past experiences and your aspirations about the future. 
What worked best for me was accepting that all of the moments behind were truly and completely finished. Nothing that I can do will ever later the past from what it is or change the past from what it is, so worrying about it or revisiting it internally is both pointless and futile. It is utterly and completely unchangeable. The future on the other hand is totally unwritten which means that any thoughts that I have about how that should look or what it should be like are based in complete fiction. Allowing myself to create an illusion about my future is not harnessing my ability to make things happen right now and it is only offering a point of reference that I will feel tethered to completing and if I don't then I will feel disappointed and pained by my shattered illusions. 
No matter how you look at, all we ever really get to have is here and now. This moment and only this moment, nothing more and nothing less than that. By focusing less on your past and worrying less about your future, you will free your thinking and liberate your life from guilt and expectation, which is where most of disappointments about life occur. Start slowly, try to stop multitasking and give your full attention to one task at a time when you can, get out in nature and think about nothing but where you are and what you are doing for the entire time that you are out. Aslo, bring yourself to the current moment whenever you can, like when you are driving, eating a meal or taking a shower, don't do those things on autopilot while you're thinking about other things, but instead fully immerse yourself in whatever you are doing 100%. Everytime that you allow yourself be more present in the moment, the better that you will get at it and before long, every moment will be filled with unlimited potential and joy. But you don't have to take my or Eckhart Tolle's word for it, try it for yourself and see where it takes you, besides you know that you have nothing to lose and everything to gain from giving it a go. 

It's almost been ten days since our Zoe arrived back home after breaking up with her fiance and partner of 8 years Lachlainn. The news came as a bit of a shock to us all, but maybe I just didn't want to see the problems because I wanted to believe that Zoe was happy, but in truth, she wasn't. Looking back on these things with hindsight you can always see the cracks and chips in clarity but at the time you are just blinded by what you want to see. It is always like this with breakups of any kind I think, and even though the clarity is there, it really doesn't make breaking up any easier to do. 
Zoe has been strong and organised with this break up to within an inch of her life, which is what we have all come to expect from our Zoe. She's tough and she strong, and it does take great strength to admit that things aren't working and then to also walk away from them. Zoe leaves behind eight years of memories and most of her formative years experiences with Lachlainn since they practically grew up together. Zoe was only 14 years old when she and Lachlainn got together, so it is both fair and probably to be expected that they have just grown apart as time has progressed, and we really should have seen this coming to be honest, but as I said hindsight is 20/20. 
I think back to some of the douche bags that I was hooking up with when I was only 14 years old and...jeez! There is no way that I could probably even stand to be in the same room with some of those weirdos let alone in a relationship with them. Not that I am saying that Lachlainn is a douchebag or anything, but the likelihood of wanting someone that you hooked up with when you were a kid as an adult are probably slim to none.
Craig and I got together when I was just short of 18 and we have had more dramatic episodes than Days of Our Lives on the way to eventually finding happiness and contentment together. We broke up numerous times, fought like we were on the set of Rocky, got regularly and spectacularly wasted together like we were Sid and Nancy at an Irish stag do and eventually popped out the other end (somehow) still together.
And I'm not going to lie to you, it was really hard to stay together when we were young, it felt downright impossible at times. We were both the youngest of five children so we were both used to having our own ways and we had no idea how to make a relationship work, we were both headstrong, opinionated brats. However, unlike Zoe and Lachlainn we were already married and had a home mortgage and a child before we were even 25 so we felt like we had to stick it out through thick and thin, it was complicated. Fortunately for Zoe and Lachlainn they didn't have any of these responsibilities to make them feel tethered together, so breaking up became amicable and quite simple really, well as simple as breakups can be if that's any consolation. 
Breaking up, no matter how clean, is not easy. You are never  just leaving another person, but also leaving a part of yourself and a way of being that you may have grown accustomed to. You leave behind who you once were when you were with that person and you are technically re-inventing yourself into another version of yourself. A single version of yourself, which will be hard for Zoe because she hasn't really experienced being single yet, it's totally foreign territory. However, as we all know, foreign territory although a little scary at times, can also be exciting, exhilarating and empowering. And if anyone is going to be able to stand on their own two feet, I have absolutely no doubt that Zoe will. She has more strong independent woman in her than Sinead O'Connor and I really believe that although it is sad that she has broken up with Lachlainn that this will be her time to shine and really come into her own. 
Sometimes we need a clean break to kick start a new life, and sometimes that opportunity can only be seized by letting go of an old and outmoded version of ourselves. Sometimes letting go of people in our lives that are holding us back from meeting our true potential is only sad for a short time before we can fluff up our own wings again and take flight on our own. And I cannot deny that the very selfish and motherly parts of me are genuinely  excited to have my darling daughter back in the nest for me to fuss over once again. Here together we can support her, help her to heal the broken parts of herself and then help her to move on to the next big adventure that life has in store for her. Zoe deserves all of that and more and now it is her chance to fly solo, put herself first and do whatever she wants to do. 

If he lived, the news would soon be here. Nay, evil news fly faster still than good. That line came from a play called The Spanish Tragedy which was written sometime between 1582 and 1592. It was the first time that the phrase Bad news travels fast was written in print form and proves that even hundreds of years ago it was human nature to be more interested in failure and woe than success and good tidings. 
And believe it or not, it's not our fault that we do pay more attention to the negative things, because we are actually hard-wired to do that. From an evolutionary standpoint the primary goal is to survive, and in general it's the bad experiences not the good ones that have the biggest impact on that ability to survive. Our evolutionary ancestors would've had a far greater chance of survival if they remembered how to out-maneuver a predator or which berries were safe to eat instead of where they found nice tree to nap under. It was the difference between surviving and dying, so storing negative information and passing it along was a means of survival that we still carry with us today. 
Rick Hanson wrote a fascinating book on the subject called Buddha's Brain: The Practical Neuroscience of Happiness, Love and Wisdom and in it he cites how studies have shown that the brain detects negative information faster than positive, stores it for longer and creates very lasting and difficult to undo pathways that we will reactivate when we find ourselves in similar circumstances. Did you know that in personal relationships it can take up to 5 positive interactions to undo just one negative interaction? It actually takes numerous go overs to unlearn a negative experience which is why it is so difficult to forgive someone when they hurt or betray you, it isn't easy because your brain actually physically resists you creating a new pathway. 
Your brain is unconsciously always deciding whether to avoid or approach everything that it encounters in the world, and regardless of how extroverted you may be, your brain in its most primal form is actually naturally wired to avoidance first and fighting against that is what causes feelings of anxiety. However, not all hope is lost, you don't need to avoid everything and you don't have to suffer relentless anxiety, there are ways to retrain your brain.
Hanson goes on to explain that your brain can override these instincts and be retrained to develop compassion through practising mindfulness, gratitude and self affirmation. You can actually create overriding positives for yourself that will crush your negative experiences, create new and better brain pathways and lead you to a more emotionally balanced and calm lifestyle. 
In short, you don't need to feel like a slave to negative words and thoughts, you can chose positive ones through repetition and focus. You can start today by passing on some good news, sharing your thoughts of gratitude or complimenting others instead of being the bearer of bad news. You don't actually have to help bad news travel at all if you don't want to, you have the power to give yourself peace of mind because you have evolved far beyond the need to ignite your monkey brain functions, you're a higher and more evolved being than that now. 
So it's time to spark your good news, pass along some positives and give yourself a compliment every single day because when you do that you are actually annihilating negative pathways that you have previously carved into your brain and giving yourself the opportunity to be free from anxiety. You deserve to have peace of mind and now you know that it is as easy as being more mindful of your thoughts about others and yourself and honing your ability to focus on the positives around you, it's really is that simple! Change your focus, be positive and be complementary and I promise that you will feel a whole lot calmer and more in control of your emotions, trust me it really works!  

FINDING NEMO 
Release Date: 2003
Rating: G
Running Time: 100 mins
Pixar Animation Studios really raised the bar with their computer animated, comedy-drama Finding Nemo. This movie tells a meaningful and heartfelt tale of a father-son relationship set under the sea in Australia.
When young clown fish Nemo gets taken from the Great Barrier Reef by a diver, his father Marlin sets out on an epic adventure across the ocean to find his son. Meanwhile Nemo, who has arrived in Sydney, finds himself in a dentist's fish tank filled with a bevvy of other tropical fish that are keen to make an escape. 
There are loads of laughs to be had here, mostly coming from Ellen DeGeneres' character Dory; but more than that, this movie is a visual delight with it's brightly coloured depictions of life aquatic. 
FINAL SAY: Just keep swimming!
4 Chilli Peppers
NOTE: Finding Dory (2016) was an excellent sequel to Finding Nemo, every bit as beautiful and enjoyable as it's predecessor. Boasting a consistent voice cast, this next adventure of sea life mishap is based around a city aquarium.   ​

Everyone has at least one great story to tell. Some people actually have even more than that, but everyone has at least one story that will either enchant, revolt, tantalize, amuse or tug at your heart strings in some way. The reason that I know this to be true is because I like to really listen to people, and when you really listen to people they will tell you the most marvellous things.
Not everything that people will tell you when you listen to them will be happy, in fact some things will be sad or even harrowing or worst of all vile, but they will tell you a story if you give them enough of your attention and ask the right questions, and that is when you will hear the most interesting stories that will stay with you forever. And stories should be varied anyway, our experience of the human condition is completely individualised and therefore multifaceted. No two people have the same life experiences and no two people will even view the same life experience in the same way, so when you think about it like that there are actually billions and billions of untold stories floating around inside random people right now just waiting to be heard. 
Some people have a genuine gift for storytelling and when they start to speak you just want to grab a cuppa and a cushion and dig in for a good listening session. Other people aren't quite as engaging when they tell their tales, but that doesn't make their stories any less meaningful or interesting in the long run. Sometimes the briefest of tales can be the most poignant and meaningful. It is claimed that Ernest Hemingway once wrote a six-word story that could make people for a cry for a bet. The wager was ten dollars, which Hemingway won with the following: "For Sale: Baby Shoes. Never worn." 
In 2006, Wired magazine followed Hemingway's example and asked sci-fi, fantasy and horror writers to come up with their own six word stories, here are a few of my favourites: 
Gown removed carelessly. Head, less so.
- Joss Whedon
Longed for him. Got him. Shit.
- Margaret Atwood
The baby’s blood type? Human, mostly.
- Orson Scott Card
Kirby had never eaten toes before.
- Kevin Smith
TIME MACHINE REACHES FUTURE!!! … nobody there …
- Harry Harrison
Heaven falls. Details at eleven.
- Robert Jordan
He read his obituary with confusion.
- Steven Meretzky
You just gotta love a good story, and even though some are clearly more interesting or insightful than others, none of them are not worth hearing. Who knows? The next person that you meet could have the most interesting tale in the world to share with you! So make sure you take some time to listen to the people around you...because they do want to tell you things! 

ONCE UPON A TIME IN HOLLYWOOD
Release Date: 2019
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 161 mins 
A crime/ drama and at times an exceptionally dark comedy, Once Upon a Time In Hollywood is Quentin Tarantino's brilliantly executed homage to the end of The Golden Age of Hollywood. With a massive ensemble cast and multiple storylines, this is a fairy tale retell of the days surrounding the brutal Sharon Tate murders by the Manson cult that occurred in 1969. Unlike other Tarantino movies, this film demonstrates more restraint around the levels of on screen graphic gore and violence...well...mostly, there are still some intense graphic scenes to experience here, but it is Tarantino and we have all come to expect some shock violence from his films. 
Fading Western television star Rick Dalton (Leonardo DiCaprio) and his best friend and stunt double Cliff Booth (Brad Pitt) encounter colourful and controversial characters as they try to maneuver Dalton out of Hollywood 'Has-Been' oblivion and back into the limelight with the help of spaghetti westerns and Hollywood opportunities. 
No late '60's stone goes unturned here, with everything from The Playboy Mansion and Roman Polanski  to Bruce Lee  and Charles Manson getting a look in. And it all mishmashes together into one terrifically enjoyable old pop culture tribute that I completely adored. I was riveted for the duration and grateful to see something so refreshingly new at the cinema again. 
DiCaprio and Pitt are not only on their A game but they are having a lot of fun with this already witty script. The cast is absolutely massive; Tarantino has again used Zoe Bell and Kurt Russell well, but has also added some fresh new faces to his cast list with notable performances from Margot Robbie as Sharon Tate, Lena Dunham as Gypsy, Dakota Fanning as Squeaky Fromme, Bruce Dern as George Spahn and stealing some hard to grab attention from everyone else was newcomer Julia Butters playing the wise western star child Trudi. 
This is not my favourite Tarantino offering, but I cannot deny that it is one of his best, and it is definitely the best thing that I have seen at the cinema so far this year. 
FINAL SAY: It's official, old buddy. I'm a has-been.
4.5 Chilli Peppers ​

All of my life I have wanted to have people around me that I could share my experiences with and rely on when times were tough. Ever since The Goonies set off in search of One Eyed Willy's Treasure (just on a side note, has anyone else noticed the incredible inappropriateness of that name as an adult?) I have always longed to be part of a group or team that had a common goal and accepted me for who I am. A faithful, reliable and steadfast group of people that would loyally support me and embrace all of the wacky weirdness that I deliver on a daily basis without making me feel like I needed to be any different or edit myself.  
In all honesty, hardly anyone truly gets to experience a genuine Goonies childhood group of friends, because we all know that kids are fickle and friendships change as quick as knickers for them.  However, when you become an adult you start to look for people that you can share like minded experiences with, enjoy a good meal and good conversation with and most importantly, someone that can act like a harbour in a tempest when the waves of life get a little too choppy.  
The sad thing about that is, that not everyone finds friends like that in their lives. Not everyone gets to know the extreme joy and sense of belonging that one can only experience when they are drawn into a tribe of good people and then find much more than just common ground but something supremely supportive and genuine. 
However, finding genuinely enriching friendships is actually quite difficult because adults come with massive amounts of baggage, have no idea how to even be a decent friend and from my experience, a lot of adults would rather cut you down than share in your peace, love and mung beans ideals of friendship. Some adults just aren't looking for new friends, they aren't interested in sharing their time with anyone and they really couldn't give a shit about camaraderie or common goals, but I am pretty sure that they didn't always feel that way. 
Friendships that are that solid and meaningful do actually require a lot of work and a sacrifice of personal time, a sacrifice that many adults just can't be bothered investing in. And to cultivate good friendships you also have to put up with people not being as invested or genuine as you are, and that part sucks pretty badly. I have had some bloody dreadful friends over the years that have made me feel used, manipulated, uneasy, offended and even rejected but I also learnt a shit load from those experiences about what friendship is and what I am looking for when it comes to my own friendships.
As an adult, I have some of the most delightful, engaging and meaningful friendships that I have ever had in my life right now. I have friendships that have spanned decades and some that are just beginning to blossom, I have friends that are super easy to be around and some that take a little more work, but I love them all in varied and special ways. I have social friends, work mates, family friends, long time friends and occasional friends and I like to spend time with them all. All of my friends bring something to the table for me and I love them dearly because they are all darlings. 
So, yeah maybe I didn't get to experience a dedicated friendship group as a kid, but as a 46 year old woman I have more friends and good people in my life than I have ever had before and that is such a wonderful feeling. Maybe in some ways I am finally getting my long desired Goonies experience after all, just in adulthood. Pretty sure that I would be the Chunk of the group these days because I certainly do have the perfect stomach for a little truffle shuffle! 

I was looking at a photo of myself in my Year 8 homeroom class the other day. Good Lord! I was so ridiculously awkward and dorky, there are just no words to describe it accurately, but I will try. Slightly spotty, thin as a rail - which actually goes against everything that my ballet teacher told me that year about how my neck was way too fat for me to ever be a ballet dancer (thanks Charlotte, that didn't half damage me as a teenager!) but anyway, let's get back to my youthful hopelessness. In the photo I have the worst perm imaginable, I mean truly horrific, I do recall wanting a trendy 80's Madonna spiral perm and what I got was more Kath Day-Knight from Kath and Kim than anything Madonna would ever be seen dead in. I don't have a scrap of make-up on, I have a discoloured front tooth, I have the limpest lace headband on and I look like I have no idea what's going on whatsoever. 
What I do get from that photo though is my complete innocence and obvious unawareness of just how much of a dork I actually am. And in truth, I don't actually even remember being or feeling like a total dork in early high school. I don't even think that anyone picked on me for that horrific hairdo or for being a pretty big sado, even though that photo does scream sad on so many levels. However, I do firmly believe that if any teenager rocked up to high school looking like that these days that they would be eaten alive by their peers. 
Now I don't want to paint an inaccurate picture of high school in the eighties being all rainbows and one big lovey-dovey getalong fest, because that would be total bullshit, it wasn't like that at all. High school in the eighties was also a brutal and cruel landscape that teenagers had to endure and attempt to maneuver through with as little baggage and a need for therapy at the other end. I'm pretty sure that high school in any decade came with it's own unique challenges and horrific coming of age awkwardness. However, when I was at high school the standards and expectations around teenage beauty were quite different and without any social media saturation, I think that the pressures to conform to certain physical standards were much lower for us than they are for teenagers now. 
Back in my day, every teenage girl wanted to look like the gorgeous teenage models on the front of Dolly magazine, but honestly even those perfect specimens were really quite normal and healthy looking Australian teens. Some of them even had visible imperfections, and since airbrushing was not a practised art, those girls looked real and felt quite accessible. They weren't glossy or perfect and they really looked like teenage girls and not like young adults. Some Dolly cover girls even had crooked teeth, thick unplucked eyebrows and heaven forbid -everyday faces! And the magazine regularly had articles and advice about realistic health and wellbeing issues that teenage girls legitimately faced at that time. I loved Dolly when I was a teenager and some of those self empowerment articles helped me to believe in my inner beauty and find confidence in my own imperfect skin.
I actually work across the road and around the corner from two secondary schools and everyday I see gorgeous teenage girls walking to and from school. Some of those girls look years older than they actually are and so many of them have dreadful posture because they are slumped over their iphones as they travel around. Some of them will never truly understand the power that they have right now; the poor things can't even see their own potential, youth and beauty because they are so caught up in trying to be part of a manufactured and unrealistic standard. And because of that, they are robbing themselves of their right to be innocent and imperfect. 
How fast do your teenage years go? So damn fast and once they are gone, they are gone forever. You literally have the entire rest of your life to perfect your flaws, find your signature look and climb upon the wheel of lifelong beauty struggles as most adult women tend to do. However, in your teenage years it's totally fine to have imperfect teeth and skin, it's okay to have some puppy fat and a bad perm, it's expected that you will wear clothes that are not in your colours or that suit your style and body shape, and above all it's your time to embrace looking like a total dork and not even caring about it!
Sure, I looked like a trainwreck in Year 8, but I was blissfully unaware of that and I am so glad that I got to have those early teenage years of innocence and oblivion. Who knows what kind of an obsessive nutter I would be now if I hadn't have had that time? I shudder at the thought, and I also feel so very sorry and mostly sad for all of the gorgeous teenagers out there that are already overthinking things way too much for their own good, underestimating their appearance and not revelling in a soon to be lost and never to be returned - age of innocence. 

I know that I am so often banging on like a Salvation Army drum about self care, self maintenance and self awareness, and obviously I do hold those things in very high regard. However, with that being said, I do also believe that it is not only our job to care for ourselves, but to also care for others as well. We have an obligation to help everyone and everything on the planet as well as ourselves, which means that we need to not only be hyper vigilant about caring for ourselves but also extremely attentive with our care and concern for the wellbeing of others as well. 
There is no point running about claiming to have your shit together if you are neglecting your loved ones, your friends, members of your community or anyone else that finds themselves in times of hardship or crisis.  We are not doing well in the world when we ignore those around us that are fallen, weak, lonely or destitute.
When we find ourselves in a position of good fortune and wellness then it is our turn to extend a hand, an ear or a dollar to assist others to stand back up onto their feet as well. Some people are only in need of some quality time, a little tea and sympathy may be all that is required. A kind word, a small gesture or thought, a supportive conversation; helping others doesn't have to be expensive or difficult.
It is true that some people's needs may require more time and money than you can invest in on your own, but you can still be a catalyst in launching a meaningful kick start with the help of a local charity or foundation. You can volunteer some time to a local organisation that is in alignment with something that you care about, you can help to fundraise for an important cause and you can spare a few dollars to allow someone else to have more. 
People often don't volunteer because they just don't know where to start, but there are some amazing online resources for people that want to volunteer that can help you to find ways to be supportive and it is super easy to do. The best place to start if you are Australian is to hop onto the govolunteer.com.au website. You can put in your postcode and it will list all of the volunteering opportunities that are coming up in your local area and you can even refine your searches to chose the days, times and types of volunteer activities that you would like to participate in. Once you have found an opportunity that suits you, you just put in an expression of interest to the organisation and you're on your way to making a difference. 
However, if getting involved in something big or organisational isn't your bag, then that's okay too because there are always things that need to be done on a small scale that are no less meaningful or important. You do not need to be making grand or sweeping gestures to be making a difference in the lives of others or showing that you care about the needs of others. In fact, if you really start to listen to the people that are around you everyday in your immediate community, you will find that there are actually opportunities to offer support an help in simple and yet very meaningful ways all of the time. 
Do you know of a tired parent in need a childminder so that they can go and have a coffee with a friend or have an interrupted haircut? Does an exhausted friend need a meal cooked for them and a sympathetic ear? Does a sad co-worker need to be told how amazing they are and what a terrific job they do? Does your elderly neighbour need their lawn mowed? Does your partner deserve a back rub? Have you told your children or your parents how much you appreciate them? There are millions of ways that we can be taking care of others everyday, and more often than not it costs very little of your time, effort and money to do so. 
And the best thing of all about caring for others is that is so good for your soul and your own sense of wellbeing. Start with something small, a random act of kindness or an act of support to someone in your community, and keep building on it. If everyone that was able to offer just a little of themselves every week to help someone else in need, can you imagine what a marvellous world we would live in and how terrifically supported we would all feel? Pay a little of your time, love and/or money forward this week to someone else and enjoy the feeling of knowing that you are making a difference, helping out someone in need, doing something meaningful and contributing to something a whole lot bigger than yourself. 

I love women, I think that they are just amazing. Super resilient, smart, courageous and able to deliver new life into the world, women have really got it all going on! When it comes to feminism I very loudly approve. I am willing to march for other women, fight for women's equality and give anyone that says that women aren't as good, worthy or adept as men a very stern fuck off! Basically, I support feminism and equal rights for women on every front, but lately I have noticed that feminism has taken a rather strange turn. 
Lately, I have noticed that statements like 'lack of sisterhood' have been used to shame some women when they aren't willing to support every other woman on the planet. Some stupid and ridiculous women are actually expecting that just because we all have vaginas that we should be part of a 'sisterhood' that supports each other no matter what! And to that concept I say - no way!  Why do I say that? Well because, some women are quite frankly dreadful human beings. They say terrible things, they do terrible things and they do not deserve to be supported by other women. In short, some women are not doing anything to make the women's equal rights movement any stronger and they are not nice people.
Any woman that expects other women to look a certain way, or endorses a product that holds women to unrealistic standards or props up bullshit prejudices and narrow-mindedness in men, is not someone that I am going to call my sister. I will not support women that demonstrate bias, bitch about other women in derogatory ways or perform any services or acts that take away from women being perceived as equal, worthy or important. This doesn't mean that I don't value feminism or sisterhood or think that we should not support other women. What it does mean is that I hold all women accountable for their behaviours, just as I do for men, and if you're a horrible women then I'm sorry, but I'm not going to support you just because we both have the same genitals.  A vagina is not a Get Out of Jail Free Card!
There is a huge difference between feminism and being accountable, and no genuine feminist would ever seek to gain power through shame or manipulation. Feminists do not expect women to fit a certain mould or hate men,  feminists just want equal rights, and that I do support wholeheartedly. I will not support women that constantly put men down, imply that they are stupid or insinuate that all men are shithouse. Not all men are shithouse, and saying that does not make me anti-feminist. Not all women are nice either, and that also doesn't make me anti-feminist, it makes me a realist and I am only going to support what I believe to be sensical, fair and equitable.
Where has our common sense gone on this topic? There can never be a sisterhood if some sisters are actually the equivalent of the ebola virus for feminism. Sorry ladies, you're actually not all fabulous, some of you are just horrid, insidious, manipulative turds that are a smear on the face of feminism. Fortunately, there aren't too many of you and for the most part women are, as I said earlier, completely bloody amazing and capable of doing anything that they put their minds to.

I am always so surprised when people tell me that they get bored. Who gets bored these day? It is such a weird and incomprehensible thing for me to fathom because I honestly cannot remember the last time that I felt slightly bored. With so many interesting things to do and so many things that simply must be done, I rarely have that much free downtime as it is, and when I do have it, I can assure you that I am never, ever bored. 
You don't have to have a million hobbies or be profoundly busy to distract yourself from boredom, in fact there are so many things that you can do with your downtime that are not only enjoyable but also super productive as well. Here is a list of my personal favourite boredom beaters, as well as some other ideas that I haven't even had the time to have a crack at yet.  
​If should ever find yourself with some free time and nothing to do with it, then I suggest that you take a look at this list: 

• Learn a new skill, language or hobby.
• Read a book. 
• Listen to a podcast.
• Schedule appointments at the doctor, masseuse, dentist, salon etc. 
• Work out. 
• Go for a walk.
• Bake.
• Learn to play an instrument. 
• Set yourself a new personal goal (in detail with all of the steps) and get busy making it happen.
• Start a blog.
• Watch a movie or TV series.
• Write in a journal.
• Go through your old photos and make up some memory albums.
• Revise your budget.
• Do yoga. 
• Visit a local tourist attraction.
• Volunteer.
• Knit, sew or crochet something. 
• Declutter your home. 
• Play a game, either a board game or a console game. 
• Make plans to catch up with friends or family somewhere new. 
• Take an online course.
• Start meditating.
• Clean out your inbox and unsubscribe to emails.
• Create a vision board. 
• Write a meal plan and a shopping list to go with it. 
• Clean out your wardrobe.
• Paint a picture or color in a mindful coloring book.
• Reconnect with people you haven't seen in while eg. email, text, call. 
• Plan a holiday.
• Update your resume.
• Go to the cinema. 
• Call a long distance friend or family member for a chat.
• Watch an inspiring Ted Talk. 
• Perform a random act of kindness. 
• Clean out your pantry and fridge.
• Practise self care eg. take a bath, exfoliate, give yourself a facial, pedicure or manicure. 
• Cook a new dish.
• Start a veggie or floral garden.
• Pick up a camera and start shooting.
• Visit the local library. 
• Make a craft or fold origami. 
• Find a youtube channel that interests you and follow it. 
• Donate to charity. 

I know that there is nothing actually wrong with being bored from time to time, sometimes it can actually be a good thing because it motivates us to try new things. But it's just generally so grey, melancholic and unproductive that I don't think that anyone would actually choose to be bored. Besides from what I have seen and learnt about boredom over the years, I think that it can lead people down some pretty strange and even destructive roads if it goes on for too long. What's that old saying about 'idle hands and the devils work'? I can't say for sure that being productive or unbored will actually keep anyone out of trouble, but it will certainly leave less time for anyone to find it!  

Most people have suffered from some form of anxiety in their lives, some more severe than others, but we all know what it feels like to be anxious, worried or stressed. Unfortunately, anxiety is not something that many people would feel comfortable to admit to having because we all feel so much pressure to appear 'put together.' No-one wants to seem like they haven't got their shit together because we all exist in the same world, a world that praises high achievers and snubs failure. It's a social status quo and we are all expected to adhere to the unspoken parametres within that expectation, but for people with anxiety it can be very challenging to keep it all together without sacrificing their overall wellbeing. 
Chronic anxiety sufferers are usually acutely aware of their condition and are often medicated and/or professionally supported to manage their stress levels, but high functioning anxiety sufferers can go completely unnoticed and may not even be aware that they have anxiety themselves. Unchecked high functioning anxiety sufferers can develop into chronic sufferers if they don't receive proper treatment or intervention. It is therefore extremely important for everyone to be aware of the signs and symptoms of high functioning anxiety so that they can identify when others may require support, or if they are suffering from any unchecked symptoms themselves. 
1. Hair pulling and skin picking
This is a very typical sign in anxiety sufferers. Nail biting, picking the skin around nails, cracking knuckles, biting the inside of their mouth or pacing around are all physically signs that the sufferer is attempting to release anxiety. 
2. Lying in Bed Awake
Anxiety sufferers have sleep problems because they cannot shut off their minds, ongoing sleep deprivation will only escalate a sufferers anxiety levels if it goes unchecked. 
3. Experience Racing Thoughts
Another common symptom of anxiety sufferers is compulsive overthinking, they will think about things far into the future and even go through several scenarios in their minds. They will struggle to unwind or shut down after a working day. 
4. Overplanning
Extensive to-do lists, over-researching topics, planning the week ahead in extreme detail and over packing for simple excursions are all signs that a person is dealing with anxiety.
5. Counting
Anxious people often count items in a room, like lights on the roof or tiles on a floor in an attempt to quiet their racing mind. 
6. Engaging in Rituals
Just like counting, needing things to be competed in a ritualistic form are ways of releasing anxiety. However, often the rituals become so ingrained that they actually elevate a sufferers anxiety levels when they become obsessive. 
7. Procrastinating
Many high functioning anxiety sufferers are also perfectionists, so they will procrastinate things that may feel like they are not up to completing successfully. 
8. Writing Dozens of Notes
Anxiety sufferers will want to write everything down in an attempt to stay in control. They will have Post-it notes plastered everywhere, it makes them feel like they have increased their bandwidth for higher performance. 
9. Over-Organising
Creating systems of predictability decreases anxiety for sufferers. They will want a clear schedule when they are taken out of their usual environment and they prefer to design that themselves. 
10. Unexplained aches and soreness in muscles
This is because anxiety sufferers tend to tighten up involuntarily which can lead to a sore neck, back and shoulders. They may need to see their physiotherapist more as a consequence.

As I mentioned earlier, we have all suffered from some form of anxiety in our lives and if you suffer from one or two of these symptoms occasionally then you probably don't really have anything to worry about. However, if you can relate to more than half of these symptoms, then you may be suffering from high functioning anxiety. So, if you feel like any of your symptoms are holding you back from feeling happy or being more fulfilled, then it is probably time for you to talk to a therapist about some treatment and strategies to help you manage your anxiety levels. Remember, unchecked high functioning anxiety can lead to more serious health complications down the track if it is left untreated, so if you are concerned about your stress or anxiety levels get some professional advice and support as soon as you can. 

​IT FOLLOWS
Release Date: 2015
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 100 mins 
When it comes to creepy as hell concepts, this film wins hands down. Directed and written by David Robert Mitchell, It Follows is a smart and original horror that will make even the toughest horror fans edgy with it's fast building paranoia. 
19 year old Jay has the worst sexual encounter possible, discovering soon after that her sexual partner has passed on to her an insidious and relentless being that follows it's prey day and night until it destroys them. The only way to get rid of this follower is to have sex with someone else and then they become the followed, however, if they should be killed by it, then it automatically transfers itself back to the last in line. 
This is terrifically atmospheric horror, working on multiple levels and rife with tension and anxiety. The story plays out well, with a cast of virtually unknown youngsters all behaving convincingly horrified and concerned, and the overall feeling that you are left with is one of unease, what more could you ask for when it comes to horror? 
FINAL SAY: It could look like someone you know, or it could be a stranger in a crowd.
4 Chilli Peppers

I have this little daily inspirations magnet on my fridge at home. Everyday you tear off a page to get a dose of daily zen and sometimes the messages that I get really speak to me and even set me up for a day of happy, positive thinking with their inspirational quotes and ideas. Today when I tore off the little sheet of paper I saw this:
                              Neither seek nor avoid, take what comes.
                                            SWAMI VIVEKANANDA
Now I am all about living in the moment, which is pretty much my personal mantra, but neither seek nor avoid? Come on, that's extreme! I am all for counting your blessings and finding bliss in what you have, but I don't think that we should just settle. Life, the world, everything around us is in constant movement, if we just stop seeking and avoiding, we will more than likely just stand still and nothing will progress. Seeking is what makes us hungry, it's what makes us discover and invent, it's what changes us and motivates us. Sometimes not seeking a better option or looking around for new ideas is really just demonstrative of a lack of motivation, and that's definitely not a virtue in my books. How are you supposed to grow if you are not supposed to seek? That's called marinating my friends, and it's not ideal. And how does a person just stop being curious anyway? It's human nature to be curious, and I don't think that it is 'unzen' to want to look around sometimes. 
And what about not avoiding? I have even bigger issues with that one. Obviously one should always avoid a head on collision with a truck or getting an addiction to crack, and I am aware that the Swami wasn't being that literal when he said 'don't avoid', but there are a lot of other things that one should avoid in life in that it would be just plain stupid not to. Like avoiding unnecessary conflict, harsh words, arguments and being involved in any kind of shitty talk about other people. Also it's definitely a good idea to avoid being rude, ignorant, racist, sexist, insensitive...shall I go on? If you just go into everything in the world blindly or without a care for anyone else because you're on the 'neither seek nor avoid, take what comes' life mantra, odds are you're just asking for trouble and trouble will find you, and then you'll just have to accept that too! If the human race didn't avoid sometimes, there would be constant war and unrest in the world, sometimes avoiding trouble or danger is not only smart it's extremely wise and necessary to getting along. 
I just cannot abide by Swami Vivekananda's questionably sage theory if I am being honest because I actually believe that in certain circumstances, taking what comes without question or without using your common sense is really stupid and will only lead to disaster. We are supposed to seek, we are supposed to learn from our mistakes and therefore avoid what we know is disastrous, and we are not meant to just blindly take whatever is dished out to us, because we all deserve better than that. 
I am certainly no Swami, but if I was asked to give my version of the that inspirational quote to be put into a daily zen calendar it would probably say something a little more like this:
    Seek what you need to feel sated, avoid what is unnecessary and unkind,                                      and don't take anything too seriously or for granted. 
                                                         GURU SPICYWATCH 

SEVEN SAMURAI
Release Date: 1954
Rating: PG
Running Time: 207 mins
A Japanese action- adventure film co-written, edited and directed by Akira Kurosawa. Seven Samurai has truly stood the test of time and is still regarded as one of the most highly influential, remade, reworked and referenced films in cinema. I must admit that I felt completely bound to see this film because it kept turning up on so many people's must see lists, I knew that I must have been missing something important, and I was because this is an amazing period action movie, that deserves at least one viewing in everyone's life time. 
Set in 1586 during the Warring States Period of Japan, a village of local farmers hire seven ronin (masterless samurai) to combat a group of thieving bandits that have been ravaging their crops and terrorizing their families for years. 
Seven Samurai is not reliant on gore or effects to depict it's action scenes, there is a real sense of cavalry and style being used here that really enhances the overall effect of the film. As one of the only movies on Rotten Tomatoes to get a full 100% certified fresh rating, this film has just the right mix of everything to keep you interested and engaged, and at over three hours running time, that's really saying something! 
FINAL SAY: Danger always strikes when everything seems fine.
4.5 Chilli Peppers ​

Even the most secure people in the world need to be reassured from time to time, it's human to seek validation and it is not weak to admit that you require some reassured from time to time. I know that every now and then I like to be told that I'm doing okay, that I'm a good person and that I'm completely lovable, and when I don't receive any validation for a while, I start to listen to my persistent and annoying inner voice of self doubt, and then I start to stumble. 
I wasn't raised in a very validating home as a child. Behavioural expectations were high, imperfections were highlighted and opportunities to 'cut one down to size' were used as an everyday form of punishment and embarrassment. Unfortunately, these less than encouraging formative years have had a profound effect on who I have become as an adult, and as a consequence, I have had to severely escalated my efforts to break certain molds and cycles and find a sense of self assurance.
In the past, I have been rejected by my parents because they didn't like my behaviour, I have lost friends who thought that I wasn't worth the effort and my own siblings have all estranged me because they've perceived me to be unlovable and mean. As you would imagine, these things have had a massive effect on my life and have made me quite insecure. I have struggled all my life to feel accepted, comfortable and secure with who I am.
I have poured unknowable hours of my time into self help, self motivation and self care in an attempt to quench my need for acceptance and love, but sometimes you can only get the type of reassurance that you are really looking for from the people around you. There is no book, guide, meditation, fitness class, job or other external thing that can replace someone that you love telling you that they also love you and think that you're amazing. And that is a fact, we all need to feel like we are loved by someone and that we are perfect just the way that we are. It is not just reassuring, it's downright empowering to love and be loved in return, it's the best feeling in the world to know that there is someone on the planet that adores you in some way, shape or form for just being who you are. 
The bottom line is that none of us are completely self-sufficient, even though many of us pretend to be. However, the best thing that all of my self help attempts has taught me over the years is that the most insecure people in the world are those that cannot acknowledge their fears and insecurities, and that pretending to have it all together when you don't is not only stupid, it's also counterproductive to moving forward.  
So now, when I feel like I'm floundering, I just tell people. I spill out the stupid in my head and I say out loud - I need some reassurance. And it is totally okay to say that. No-one feels fabulous all of the time, and sometimes a simple word of reassurance from someone that you care about can be enough to get you back on track and fight off that self deprecating voice inside of you that can be doggedly determined to convince you otherwise.
No-one has to break out the accolades, send in the marching band or shroud me with words of praise in order to reassure me, a simple - I think you're important and I care about you is really all that it takes to reboot my system. But sometimes I need to hear it, and as corny and as silly as that may sound to admit, I just need to hear it. I'm human and sometimes I need some reassurance, and you know, I really don't think that there is anything wrong with admitting that. 

This holiday period has not come without it's own unique set of challenges. I am never really sure if it is a good thing for the wheels to drop off during a down period so that I have the time to properly deal with things, or if it only serves to rob me of some much needed down time. However, regardless of how I choose to perceive these inconveniences makes them no less real or prevalent in my life, so I choose to just face them head on and continue to search for the hidden silver linings in these hiccups of the human condition. 
What it has meant is that I have had less free time and also less money to splurge on the frivolous and fun things, but c'est la vie....like all things in life these moments of challenge are impermanent and constantly moving and won't last forever. You have to stay firmly rooted in the 'milk and honey' aspects of your life when you find yourself wrangling with darker days like these. Luckily,  I still have a lot of milk and honey in my life, so it is easy for me to be distracted by love, good company and humour. And it is in these moments of realisation about my blessings and good fortunes that I ponder how people that do not have these things still manage to find their milk and honey during the difficult times. 
It is easy not to drown when you have a life vest, a flotation buoy and a rescue boat coming to get you, but what do you do if you don't have those things in your life? Not everyone is as fortunate in life as I am, so where do they go when the world grows dims and the days feel darker? Clearly for people without good support units around them, things can get rather grim when life seems insurmountably difficult; but all hope is never totally lost because there is always help available if you know where to look for it. 
Aside from trying to expand your support networks, which can be ridiculous difficult for some people and sharpening your own coping skills, which again is easier said than done, there is always a voice of reason that can be reached out to when things get too big and the world gets too loud.
You don't need to have a life full of milk and honey to find a shoulder to lean on, a friendly voice or a helping hand that will pull you up when you feel like you can't lift yourself up, and the great news is that Australia has one of the best help lines in the world for this kind of thing. Lifeline (PH: 131114) is available 24 hours a day 7 days a week with experienced counsellors and it's free and completely confidential.  And no, lifeline is not just for people that want to commit suicide, it's for anyone in crisis that feels like they need someone to talk to or confide  in. 
Many people without adequate support don't reach out for help because they think that their problems may not be significant enough, but anyone in need without adequate support is significant enough. The counsellors at lifeline, regardless of a callers age, gender, ethnicity, religion or sexual orientation are there to listen, provide immediate support, offer strategies and options and provide  referrals that can assist with moving forward.
We all need someone to lean on from time to time, there is no shame in crawling sometimes or admitting that you are finding things hard. Bottom line is that life sometimes is hard, really bloody hard and if you don't have a support network around you, just remember that you are not alone and you do not have to do anything on your own. There is always help out there and your problems are more than important enough to tap into them, so please don't struggle on alone; reach out, open up, share the load and please, please.... get some help. 

PIN CUSHION
Release Date: 2017
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 82 mins 
When odd Iona and her hunchback mother Lyn relocate to a new town, they are both optimistic for a  fresh start and hoping to integrate into their new community and make new friends. Unfortunately, their naivety about just how vicious, exclusive and unpleasant bored suburban housewives and attention seeking teenagers can be, causes them to crumble. 
Written and directed by Deborah Haywood, Pin Cushion completely assaults your senses with it's onslaught of awkward coming of age interludes, cruel and manipulative behaviours and it's agonisingly emotional struggle for acceptance. Joanna Scanlan is amazing as the well meaning social pariah Lyn, and Lily Newmark is perfectly awkward as the 'desperate to be liked' teenager Iona. 
This is truly heartbreaking stuff and at times it is quite hard to watch. Pin Cushion openly explores the many facets of a mother-daughter relationship within a single parent dynamic and explores issues of loneliness, isolation, bullying and co-dependence in ways that cannot be ignored. 
FINAL SAY: It's not just children that can bully in relentlessly cruel ways. 
3.5 Chilli Peppers ​

Thick girls get so many mixed messages, it is just ridiculous! I am certainly not what you would call a small lady, in fact I regularly call myself chubby, because truth is, I am. I wear size 16 clothes, I have loads of curves, I have a noticeable belly, I have cellulite and if I was ever to wear lycra I would probably look like the caterpillar out of A Bug's Life because I have fat rolls. However, contrary to what anyone wishes to think when they look at me, I am not ashamed of my body. I do not hate my curves, I do not get offended if someone calls be chubby and do not think that being thin is better than being thick.
I have been many shapes and sizes in my life and because of that I also know without a doubt that people do treat you better, give you more compliments and pay more attention to you when you are thinner. It is an unfortunate and completely unfair truth, but believe me, it is true. I think that it is great that we are seeing more body shapes in the media today and that there are some truly empowered larger ladies flying the flag for curvy lasses everywhere, but I know that as a society we still have a long way to go when it comes to accepting weight and body shape. 
As a thick lady, I feel like I am constantly bombarded with pressure and mixed messages about ideal weight, perfect health and genuine beauty, and it's so annoying. On one side there is this ideal Hollywood Chic body type aka 'the media spotlight woman' and a lot of women feel compelled to aspire to be like her. She's wafer thin and cinched in tightly. She has immaculate nails and hair and always looks perfectly polished, but if you hugged this lady it would probably feel like grasping a skin sack filled with knives and forks; lots of pointy stuff! Women think she's beautiful and men think she's sophisticated and high maintenance aka out of their league!
Then on the other side you have the self empowered Ashley Graham types who are shouting out 'embrace your beautiful curvy body' from the rooftops. They are genuinely thick but they are also very good looking so they get a lot of media coverage. Some of them certainly work hard to stop body shaming in very narrow minded industries like modelling, but are they really reaching the average Joe's of the world with their message? 
And what do you do if you don't fit into either of those cateogories? What if you are not Hollywood thin and you also aren't empowered by your curves, because your curves aren't necessarily in the right places like Iska Lawrence and you aren't stunningly good looking? What then? How are you supposed to love your body and your curves when no-one that is in the public eye that looks like you is celebrating how they look? Trust me when I say that this is a real dilemma for thick people, because I have been reading a lot on the topic and there is a genuine plea for everyday curvy lovelies to  get more media time.
And look, I'm not an idiot, I know that thin women also suffer the same anxieties over their bodies and not looking like they're 'supposed to' as well, but thick girls get treated like shit a lot more for not fitting the mold and it's just an unfortunate truth. However, it would seem that today the 'perfect' female body type is actually the least accessible body type that we have ever encountered before in history. To feel like you are meeting the feminine ideal these days, women need to be curvy, but only if they are in the right places like the boobs and the butt, definitely not around the tummy or the thighs. They need to be fit and toned in the arms and legs, but not too muscular that they don't look vulnerable and they also need to have sensual full lips, absolutely no wrinkles, perfectly manicured nails and long lustrous hair.
Thanks Kim Kardashian, you've made the world so much easier for women everywhere! Your so called 'thick girl empowerment' is complete and utter bullshit, and what you really need is a good hard slap! Truth is, the Kardashians and Minaj's of the world have really not helped women out at all when it comes to body shaming and physical empowerment. What they have done though is created a completely new, inaccessible and totally unrealistic model for men to ogle at and women to compare themselves to and aspire to become; and let's be honest, that is dreadfully sad! 
What we really need to see more of in the media are healthy, happy and awake women. Women that don't feel like they need to fit into a mold to be complete, women that don't prescribe to the pressures of unrealistic female 'ideal' standards and women that genuinely don't care about shallow things like weight, skin, hair, clothes and nails. Because all women, thick, thin and every other size and shape in between and outside of that, deserve to feel good about themselves. There isn't a woman on this planet that hasn't been told at one time or another that it's what's inside that counts, but there a billions of women in the world that have no idea how to practise that. Don't be one of those women; don't judge, don't shame and most importantly don't forget to celebrate that you are more than enough, that you are special and that you are most definitely perfect just the way you are. 

It is during times of struggle and difficulty that we absolutely must endeavour to tighten our commitment to ourselves and bring more attention to our need for self care. The urge to soldier on in the face of adversity or crisis is generally so strong that we will happily place our needs on the back burner and forge forward, often at the peril of our own wellness and sanity. It is a weakness that I too am guilty of, but when push comes to shove, we really aren't doing ourselves or anyone else any favours when we ignore the signals that our bodies are sending us for better self care by continually placing ourselves last. 
By learning about the different forms of self care, we can better arm ourselves with an ability to recognise when we are moving into personal crisis or neglect, and how to fill the voids in our self care routines when they do occur. 
A terrific article from tulipandsage.com categorizes self care into six main types: 
1. Physical Self Care
This is an awareness of your physical body and what it needs to thrive. Exercise, rest and clean food. It does not need to be vigorous or intense to be effective, aim for consistent and enjoyable long term activities, healthy diet choices and adequate sleep to improve your physical self care.
2. Emotional Self Care
Become mindful of your emotions, listen to your feelings and recognizing patterns, triggers or obstacles to your ability to remain calm, focused and happy. Writing in a journal, being artistic, dancing or being creative are just some ways that you can express and develop your emotional awareness and self care. 
3. Spiritual Self Care
This doesn't need to be religious or rigid to be meaningful. Anything that brings you closer to the essence of yourself is nourishing your spiritual self care. It could be doing charity work, being more mindful, taking up meditation, walking in nature; there are lots of ways to strive for more inner awareness. 
4. Intellectual Self Care
We all need new challenges to invigorate and nourish us mentally. Anything that will expand your knowledge and awareness falls into this category, from reading a book or watching a documentary to taking up a class or learning a new language, you'll be expanding yourself and meeting your intellectual needs. 
5. Social Self Care
Whether you're an introvert or an extrovert, people need people. You do need to spend time with other people and have meaningful connections with loved ones, so make plans to get together with people that you enjoy spending time with. Catching up, going out for dinner, meeting for coffee or going to the movies is not only an escape from the norm, it's social self care and it's important to your wellbeing. 
6. Sensory Self Care
Nourish your senses and send healing stimuli to your brain, sensory care is so deeply fulfilling. Through sight, smell, touch, sound and taste you can reinvigorate yourself. Listen to some soothing music, light a scented candle, eat a delicious meal, get a massage, go for a barefoot walk in the park and please don't forget to always stop and smell the roses!

All forms of self care are equally as important as each other and you should endeavour to not neglect your needs in any area. Listen to your body, listen to your soul, listen to your heart...it may sound corny but you are actually sending yourself small but not insignificant messages about your needs all of the time and you just need to be quiet enough to hear them. Self care matters because you matter, and it is neither selfish nor self indulgent to take care of yourself, so listen carefully to your self care needs and learn how to be kinder to yourself. 

You can take every precaution in the world, but no matter how well planned or prepared you may think you are, a head cold or some new strain of the flu will eventually track you down and smack you to the ground like a bad playground bully. Turns out that my health scare was just the flu, I say 'just the flu' very flippantly, but the alternative to that was far worse, so I am sticking to 'just the flu.' 
Of course, 'just the flu' has come with a plethora of discomfort and side effects that have today forced me to hide away from the world, not just for my benefit but also for everyone else's as well. Body aches, headaches, chest pains, severe joint pain, nausea, dizziness, a persistent dry hacking cough and the all so lovely night sweats have all made an appearance over the past five days and I have been left feeling drained, impatient, over-tired and frayed around the edges in ways that I have not felt for a very long time, and do not wish to feel again in a very long time. 
It is always the last couple of weeks of the Winter school term that really brings the 'shove over' for me every year. In fact, according to my journal entries, every year for the last 8 years in  a row I have had some kind of head cold or flu in the month of June. Thankfully, none of them have required anything more than a couple of days of rest, but still it would appear that 'tis the season for me to feel gross, wear out and generally feel like a slice of shit toast every year. 
In light of that, perhaps in the future June would be a fortuitous time for me to take a trip each year to Bahamas in order to escape the dark recesses of Winter and the dreaded lurgy that hunts me down and pounces on me at the same time every year. However, I doubt that my employer would share my enthusiasm for an annual winter retreat, so that idea will probably need to wait until I am retired. 
I swear that bears have the right idea when it comes to seasonal self adjustment though. Gorge yourself stupid on all of the deliciousness of an Autumnal harvest, find a comfy place to hide and sleep out the dead of Winter and then pop back into the world when the Spring blooms are just peaking their heads out of the soil. Sounds terrific to me!
I have always found the human need to maintain the status quo during the winter months both ridiculous and counter productive, because let's be honest we all need more rest in the winter time. It's darker, colder and completely uninviting outdoors most of the time. You just want to eat way too much comfort food for your trousers to manage! And getting out of bed in the mornings is often an impossible and monumentally unpleasant task. The writing is on the wall isn't it really? Let's make the months of June, July and August four day working weeks. Everyone gets an extra day off a week to be like a bear and roll about in bed, binge on Netflix and eat stoggy goodies! Hooray, Winter woes solved! Everyone gets more rest time, less cold exposure and a day to play every week. I think that I would actually look forward to Winter a lot more if that was going to happen every year.
And I honestly believe that my brilliant idea would mean that less people would get really sick as well. I mean you would have less exposure to other people and therefore less exposure to other people's germs, you would also be more rested and better fed therefore making you generally more resilient as well and you would be feeling a lot more job satisfaction because the work to life ratio would be more agreeable. We really do need to take a leaf out of the books of the hibernating and migrating creatures of the world because the animals clearly have their shit sorted out a lot better than we do. I'm pretty sure bears don't have to ring in sick or contend with hacking coughs all night during the winter do they? 

Every year I change my personal boundaries. That probably sounds super sloppy, but it really isn't, it is the exact opposite of sloppy if the truth be told. My boundaries alter because I take the time to assess where I have placed them in the past and why I even placed them to begin with. And I do this regularly.
As I get older, the line between what I will and what I will not tolerate or lose sleep over has altered quite substantially, so it's always wise to have a revisit and reassess to make sure that I am being true to myself, my life goals and my enjoyment levels. 
Most of the boundaries that I have created for myself over the last few years look nothing like the ones that I had for myself in my twenties and thirties. I used to set a lot of boundaries around what I would allow myself to do or what I expected of others, but now I set my boundaries purely around my tolerance, my ability to self love and my general peace of mind.
What does that mean exactly? Well, here is a list of what I think good boundaries look like. Adopting these kinds of personal boundaries is a really liberating thing to do for yourself, and I have found that I have become a lot more peaceful and accepting as I have learnt to incorporate them into my daily life. 

1. It's not my job to fix others.
Let other people do them, and you just do you. 
2. It's okay for other people to get angry with me. 
Anger is fine and normal and also fleeting, there is no need to get hung up on it. 
3. Sometimes no is the best answer. 
Odds are people won't want to hear it, but that doesn't make it wrong. Setting limits for yourself is wise. 
4. It's not my job to be responsible for others.
Let people own their own shit, you have no power to control others so don't bother. 
5. I am responsible for my own happiness.
My happiness is my job, not anyone else's. To make it anyone else's is selfish and stupid. 
6. It's okay if we don't agree.
Agree to disagree. Fighting over anything gets no-one anywhere. 
7. I have the right to my feelings.
Everyone has the right to get angry, upset and annoyed, and that's okay. 
8. I can put me first.
It is not selfish or mean to put yourself first sometimes.
9. I can let go.
Don't dwell on bad things or hold resentments because it feels like shit. 
10. I am enough.
You don't need to change who you are to please others. You're all good! 

So, there they are, a healthy 10 commandments of boundaries to set your dial to. I guarantee that if you set yourself better personal boundaries based on your genuine emotional needs then you will definitely worry  a lot less and enjoy your life a lot more, and that's gotta be better for your stress levels in the long run!

I cannot say exactly how many times I have heard people complaining to me how much certain things annoy or upset them, like horror movies or certain kinds of reality TV programs or the evening news. Sometimes people even complained to me about how much they hate social media, yet they have every form of it on their phone and will even check it when I am right there in front of them. Hmm.....I have to say that I see a few problems with this kind of behaviour. 
I have a real problem with people saying how much certain forms of media disturb them when they actually have a lot of power to control the amounts that will actually filter through to them in the first place. Don't like horror? Cool then don't watch it. Don't like the horrible stories on the news? Well there is an off button that you can click if it is affecting you too much, so use it. Not enjoying social media platforms? Well, just delete your accounts. No-one is holding anyone to ransom on any of these issues, you do not have to watch or participate in any of these forms of media if you find them disturbing, but for some reason people feel like they do have to and it's annoying as hell to me.
Free will people, participate or don't, watch or look away, this isn't the set of the movie A Clockwork Orange, no-one is holding your eyeballs open with toothpicks and insisting that you watch, you actually don't have to watch anything that you don't want to do. You don't ever have to watch things that you don't like and you don't have to subject yourself to things that upset you, and just for the record, you are not going to get martyred for enduring Facebook or Instagram, so just delete your profile if it gives you the shits. 
It's normal and fine to not like certain things or to not want to be subjected to continual media propaganda or political hype all of the time, but what I don't get is, why does anyone feel like they need to? Just look away, switch off, choose not to be a cog in the machine if that makes you feel better, just do whatever makes you happy. Just don't look if it offends you, and move on. Whatever you do, just do me a favour and don't keep on thinking that anyone actually cares if you don't like to watch certain things, because they don't care, they really just don't care at all. And trust me when I say that no-one is ever going to think that you're a legend for watching the nightly news or posting on Facebook if you hate it. 
And while I am on a rant, can I just say that checking your social media or using your phone when you are with me is never going to garner favour because I really don't like it. I find constant phone check-ins as socially inept and rude as helicopter parents. I am a pre-tech aged person, therefore the allure of devices are limited for me at best. I can still hold really excellent conversations and I do not need to have my phone out on the table when I am around people. My phone is not my security blanket, I functioned for many years without it and guess what? I survived!  And I could live without a mobile phone again in a heartbeat because I actually believe that their existence has been detrimental to proper social interaction overall anyway.
Also, I do not care two shits about your social media goings on, I really don't, so please don't include me or subject me to your online fodder when you are around me. I value face to face, non-interrupted conversation when I am with a person. I do not leave my house to look at other people's phone screens, I could stay at home and look at my own if that's what I wanted to do. I spend time with people for their company, not their crafty use of mobile phones. Sure I like the odd meme, who doesn't? But if you are on your phone for more than 10% of our interactions, I'm not going to be enjoying it, just saying.
However, why should you care what I think anyway? Well, truth be told you shouldn't, do whatever makes you happy, my opinions on phone usage are irrelevant because odds are if you are the type of person who would use their phone that often, then we probably wouldn't hang out together anyway.
​Let's be honest, the bottom line is that I don't have to endure anything that offends me and neither do you, so if it offends you, I say just look away. 

Nothing makes me feel more proud of myself than the moments in my life when I turn out to be the bigger person in a situation. Notice that I said the bigger person there and not the better person? Being bigger does not make you better, but it does make you kinder and more tolerant, not only to others but especially to yourself. Being better can make you faster, smarter and stronger, but it does not always make you bigger, in fact sometimes those qualities can actually shrink your ability to be bigger in certain situations. 
So what exactly do I mean when I say the bigger person? Well, in my opinion the bigger person is someone who can admit to their own faults, forgive others for theirs and move on gracefully from difficult situations or occurrences. Being the bigger person is a totally tough call, because when we are the bigger person we not only have to own our own shit, but we also have to forgive others for their shit as well and somehow find a space to move forward. Being bigger is always great in theory, but when you have to actually demonstrate it, it's a whole other ball game. 
For one, you have to fight off your own ego to be a bigger person. No-one wants to hear the bad stuff about themselves, it sucks and having someone else point it out is just torture. Most of us are well aware of our short comings and the last thing that any of us want is for someone else to point it out to us, especially in a blunt way. Bigger people can shake off the negative comments, search them, separate the bullshit from the truth, interpret the meaning behind it all and take anything valuable on board as an opportunity to evolve. Your ego cannot come into play if you want to be the bigger person, you have to take it in, process it, trash the crap and thrash the lesson. Bottom line is, it's hard. 
A bigger person never lets their emotions sit in the drivers seat when it comes to difficult situations or conflict resolutions. Bigger people keep it real, they don't get personal or petty and they stick to the facts. By only mentioning the things that are truths and steering away from assumptions, you're always going to come out as the bigger person. It takes skill to keep your emotions in check, learning to let things slide off you like water off a ducks back takes years of focused effort to master. I always try to remember that knee jerk reactions are for small minded people. Anytime that I have employed reactive behaviours in stressful situations in the past there has been nothing but carnage and I have always come off looking stupid, intolerant or just plain bitchy, and no one wants to be seen in that light. 
When you are the bigger person in the room during high stress situations, well it is something to be proud of, because it's a tough gig. Keeping yourself in check, not taking things personally and knowing that you shouldn't take things personally are incredibly good life skills to have in your tool kit. Every time that you can take one on the chin, own your own crap and move forward in a dignified way is definitely a sign that you're becoming a gentler, kinder and more well rounded person, and that is definitely something to be proud of. 

​CARNAGE
Release Date: 2011
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 80 mins 
When two sets of parents meet in a Brooklyn apartment to discuss the fight that their eleven year old boys had in the park, things go from civilised to downright manic rapidly. 
Directed by Roman Polanski, this black-comedy is based on the Tony Award winning play God of Carnage by French playwright Yasmina Reza. A stellar cast that includes Jodie Foster, Kate Winslet, Christoph Waltz and John C. Reilly really bring together all of the ugliness and viciousness of couples with children, played out in real time. 
No stone is left unturned as these four adults go head to head with each other with increasing levels of ferocity; displaying more childish behaviours than the children that they are meant to be discussing. All is stripped bare in this interesting and at times hilarious character study. 
FINAL SAY: Keep on stroking your ego. It's beautiful. 
3 Chilli Peppers

Regardless of how amicable, nice, funny, mindful, considerate or generous you are in this life, you are eventually going to come against someone that you just don't like. It may be someone that you're related to, or someone that you work with or someone that has come into your life because they are associated with another person that you know, and you are not going to like this person. They are going to grind your gears and irritate you, they are going to annoy you and because they now exist in your life, you may not always have the choice to avoid them. And this is where you need to employ your best diplomacy and intelligence, and just get along. 
Easier said than done though right? It is pretty hard to get along with someone that really ruffles your feathers and generally gives you the shits, but there are ways to get along, even in the face of great adversity. 
The first thing that you need to accept is that you are not going to like everyone, and also not everyone is  going to like you and that's totally OK. So OK in fact, that's it's practically perfect. Yep, that's right I said practically perfect. We all know that we do our best growing during our darkest times, so the people that we butt up against actually force us to grow in ways that we may not even recognise at the time. I have learnt more about myself through the people that I haven't liked than the ones that I have adored, and that is a fact. I may not want to go and have a BBQ with the people that I don't like, but I can recognise that these annoying individuals are triggering a very real and unpleasant reaction in me, which probably needs further investigation. 
Sometimes the people that annoy me the most are really just people that have very different ideas, points of view or social boundaries to me, which means that we could never really be great friends anyway, but that doesn't mean that I need to treat them like crap, that would be stupid and illogical. Tolerating people that you really don't like very much is a skill that intelligent people have mastered, and I have found in the past  that unintelligent people usually create their own dramas and demise anyway, so there is no need to engage anyone that annoys you any more than is absolutely necessary. 
When dealing with people that you don't like, you absolutely must have a terrific poker face, a really good and convincing one. A face that you can wear over the top of gritted teeth or clenched fists that makes you appear to be calm, open and diplomatic. This is you having self control over your emotions, not stooping to anyone elses levels of behaviour or adopting anyone else's body language; in short you appear to be neutral and in control of yourself. Adopting a good poker face and calm exterior will allow you to gain the upper hand over people that you don't like every time. And if they don't like you, well at least they won't be able to say that you treated them poorly at any point in your exchanges. Mastering your emotional reactions will help you to manage difficult or unpleasant people, even if you only appear that way on the surface, it's always worth doing. 
Sometimes the people that I find most annoying turn out to be people that I have just expected too much from. Just because you have yourself in check, that doesn't mean other people have as well. Expecting people to do as you do, or behave as you behave is just asking for trouble and will only lead to frustration and disappointment. Next time someone gets up your nose, check in and see what it is that you are expecting from them, odds are that it's more than they have the ability to deliver, so adjust your expectations and you'll find that you may not dislike the person as much as you thought that you did. 
And when all else fails and you just cannot stand someone that you have to deal with regularly, then just take a deep breathe, give yourself some space from them as much as you can and take some time to address what it is about that person that is triggering you off so much. Is it an isolated comment? An ongoing action? A lifestyle choice? Or is it just the way that they make you feel? Have you yourself contributed to the bad blood that you have with this person? Is it fixable? Whatever the reason, really analyse whether this person is worth all of the anxiety, stress and energy that you are giving to them. If you think that they are, then you need to take steps to clear the air and move forward in your relationship with them, if you think that they're irrelevant, then just keep that poker face going and get on with things. And always remember that you do not have to get along with everyone and that it's totally OK to find some people as annoying as hell. 

I was getting ready for work the other day and a song from The Lost Boys soundtrack popped up on one of my Spotify playlists, and wow....what a blast from the past! I was instantly transported back to the 1980's, a time when I was an impressionable teenager who was coming of age and was easily obsessed with things of a pop culture nature (not much has changed there). And it was with a smile that I fondly reminisced the things that I had obsessed over at that time in my life. 
The Lost Boys movie was definitely one of those obsessions for me, I loved that film and had Lost Boys posters on the inside my wardrobe because I wasn't allowed to hang pictures up on my bedroom wall. I thought that it was the coolest movie that I had ever seen, probably because it was packed to the rafters with smoking hot teen boys, but I think that I also loved it because all of the characters in the movie seemed to have so many exciting things going on in their lives, and at that time in my life I didn't have a lot going at all, just an intense teenage yearning and a burning curiosity. 
'80's movies will always hold a very special place in my heart, because I was completely obsessed with them as a teenager. Horror, sci-fi, comedy and adventure movies were my favourite genres and I filled many of my bored teenage days with films that I devoutly watched over and over again on the VCR all by myself in the mostly unused and very cold 2nd lounge room of our house. It was there, huddled under a blanket that I spent many wintery weekends, watching and rewatching my favourite movies obsessively. I was almost able to recite some of those films line for line, and I know that that sounds really dorky, but you have to remember that this was a time before the internet and if you weren't running with the cool kids (which I wasn't) there wasn't exactly a lot to do with your time. Besides, a VCR was actually a pretty cool thing to have back then and having access to your own library of tapes was even better!
I was part of the MTV generation, so watching movies was a way to connect with my teenage awkwardness and also a way to vicariously generate some self discovery through the experiences of other teens on screen. It was clearly a time in my life that solidified my movie obsession and also started a genuine thirst within me for more cinematic experiences that would allow me to vicariously see the world through other people's eyes. However, no matter how many movies I watch in my life, I will always and forever have the softest spot for a good '80's teen flick.
Here is a list of my favourite teen movies (in no particular order) that I have seen way too many times for my own good, and even though some of them are not even 3 chilli peppers worthy of being on my genre lists, I cannot deny that I still have a soft spot for the nostalgia that they ignite in me whenever I watch them. 

• The Breakfast Club
• Sixteen Candles
• Ferris Bueller's Day Off
• Weird Science
• Better Off Dead
• Back to the Future
• The Goonies 
• One Crazy Summer
• Fright Night
• Stand by Me

and of course....The Lost Boys.

I have been truly blessed in this lifetime to have some of the most wonderful people imaginable in my life. My children, my partner, my family, my friends - I have really drawn the ace card when it comes to good people; and everyday of my life is better for knowing these people. During my final week of autumn vacation I was fortuitous enough to share some of my time with people that I love, appreciate, respect and adore most of all in this world, and nothing can make you feel more wealthy and fortunate than having incredible people in your life can. I have shared delightful breakfasts with dear friends, had delicious cake and coffee with quiet confidants, chatted and giggled on the phone for hours with family members that are too far away, and shared sumptuous long lunches with my closest family members. 
I even managed to squeeze in a trip to Queenscliff with some friends during the week. We hired motorized scooters and rode them along the Bellarine Rail Trail in the late afternoon, arriving at a coastal winery called Basil's Farm just as the sun was setting. We enjoyed some good wine, nibbles and even better company in the still of the early evening as we sat by the bay watching the sky change from blue to pink to purple. We happily took a few choice bottles of wine back to our accomodation to share and had a lovely evening of drinking and chatting. It was really nice to get away and enjoy some good company, a little salty air and a change of pace for a while. 
Easter was an extremely busy affair, with Craig's birthday tossed into the middle for good measure. Thank goodness Zoe came down from Geelong for a few days to help me manage all of the cooking and running around that is required to host an Easter feast for a dozen people. In the end, it all went off without a hitch and everyone left with full hearts and even fuller bellies. Now I have a fridge that is overstocked with leftovers, which means that I can take a load off for a couple of days as we work through our stockpile of food provisions, so the whole event was a win-win for me overall. 
Seriously though, I really cannot imagine what my life would be like without all of the wonderful people that I get to share it with, these people support me, raise me up and offer me refuge when I need it most of all. The people that you surround yourself with do give your life meaning and do make it more profound, enjoyable and abundant by just being present. There are a million things in this life that you can be successful at, and a billion more material things that you can collect or earn, but there will never be a greater or more meaningful thing to gather into your life than the love, respect and quality time that you get to share with your good friends and family; it is absolutely priceless.
When you really sit back and take stock of how many incredible people you have in your life, you very quickly realise how blessed you truly are and how much meaning your life truly has. It isn't what we have that makes our lives meaningful, it is who we have in it that makes it more meaningful, so surround yourself with the most wonderful people that you can and get the best out of your life every day, because you deserve to. 

When you have a couple of crappy things happen to you in row, it can be really easy to get totally gung-ho with the 'poor me' routine and lose sight of what is really going on. Over the last week it has been one of those weeks in our household, one of those opposite to a Midas touch kind of weeks, where everything that you do, even if you set out to do it with really grand and noble intentions, it turns out to be shit show.
We all know what it feels like, we have all been there and people even say that these things come in threes to try and limit the amount of crap that can arrive in their lives at one time. However, things do not come in threes, they come any damn way that they want to, because the universe is totally random and unpredictable, which means that sometimes they come in tens and or even twenties. However, sometimes these things that we perceive to be obstacles or setbacks or problems are actually just signposts of change or opportunities to grow, but it's so bloody hard to see it that way when you're in the thick of it all.  
The first thing that you need to do in these situations is to define what really constitutes as a disaster. To some people a flat tyre is a disaster, to others it is merely an inconvenience and then to  others is it a chance to take a walk and smell the flowers. For me a flat tyre is somewhere in the middle, hardly a disaster, but not exactly a delight either. Unfortunately, most people fall into the disaster zone pretty quickly, and it is something that I am attempting to try and engage in less and less often. 
For example, my car needs repairs and I need to go to hospital to have something corrected that is making me uncomfortable.  Neither of these is a disaster, firstly I can pay for the repairs and medical bills and secondly I have a car and can get the medical treatment that I require immediately. That's a lot more than millions of other people in the world have, so first world squabbling about something manageable is pointless and stupid. Is it inconvenient? Sure, but so what? There's no point whining about it, let's just get it done and move on. 
And pretty much all of my stuff has been inconvenient, but that's all, just inconvenient. Some of it has been my own fault actually, like the speeding ticket that I got last Friday night. I got that ticket because I was speeding, no-one told me to speed or made me speed and I didn't even need to rush to where I was going to, so that was clearly a signpost for me to slow the fuck down! I know that I am lead foot at times, and there is nothing more humbling than a hefty bill to make you ease off the accelerator. And I was going way too fast, I could have caused an accident or pranged my car, and then I would've had a disaster to contend with!
So I think that when these things do happen you need to step back and have a really good look at what is actually occuring. Ask yourself, how much of this has been created by your own choices? How much is just necessary maintenance on an abundant lifestyle? And will you even care about this in 6 weeks time? Once you've answered those questions then you can analyse your real depth of disaster or lack thereof, because most of the time everything is really pretty amazing and we do need to be grateful for those moments and not let the small inconveniences distract us from that fact. 

John Lennon once said:
It's easier to shout 'Revolution' or 'Power to the People' than it is to look at yourself and try and find out what's real and what isn't, when you try pull the wool over your own eyes and your own hypocrisy. 
I have been really investigating my own essence a lot lately, which sounds bloody kinky I know, but I assure you that it isn't. By essence I mean, who I am at the root of it all. Who I am when no-one is around, who I am when I don't have to be a certain way or fill a certain role, who I actually am when everything is stripped back to the basics. Just me, without my belongings, my friends, my family, my external pretenses, just me and only me, me alone. And it has been one of the strangest and most interesting ponderings that I have engaged in, and it has really made me address my own ethics, values and personal goals. 
Lying to ourselves is so easy, we do it all the time. We create excuses, manufacture obligations, revel in distraction and allow ourselves to engage in the drama of others; all so that we can lie to ourselves, hide from our fears and avoid our true nature. Generally speaking, addressing ourselves face on is a pretty scary prospect, but it is inevitable that at some point in everyone's life that they will have to address themselves and consider their place in this world, whether they want to or not. 
And honestly, everyone probably should. A life spent without any contemplation, reflection or introspection sounds like a pretty crummy life to me, and a rather underdeveloped one as well. If you don't stop to self assess and have a look at yourself once and awhile, well sorry but, you might just be an asshole. Anyone that travels through their entire life without ever pondering themselves, stepping back from their everyday existence and questioning their own motives doesn't sound like someone that I would like to spend time with. 
Anyone who is interested in learning the whole truth about themselves (which the Buddhists call dharma) is a warrior, because facing who you really are at the core of your being takes guts and bravery. Unless you are the enlightened one him or herself, then you are probably going to come up against some shit that you don't necessarily like about yourself. It could be stuff that was programmed into you from an early age, it could be something that you'd said or done that was unkind, it could be a belief about something or someone that you have allowed to cloud your better judgement or could be a habit or opinion that you have formed that no longer serves who you are.
You may feel guilty, bad, ashamed or even terrible about yourself when you start to explore and look at yourself deeper, and you may not like what you find, and that's okay too because it is signpost that you know a better way of being and that you have the power to change your direction. The important thing to do with those feelings is not to linger on them, but to use them to arm yourself with better tools and strategies. By doing this you are teaching yourself to be proactive not reactive to the world around you, and you are cultivating a more stoic and real approach to life. You are training yourself to live without regret and shame, because you know that you are in control of making your own better choices. 
It requires fearlessness and willingness, but it is a worthwhile undertaking to attend to from time to time to help you to grow into the best version of yourself. To face yourself you need to be still and quiet and above all else honest. Acknowledge where you've been, recognise where you are and cultivate a pathway ahead that brings you closer to who you want to be. 
I'm not gonna lie to you, it's frickin hard work, but any work of the self always is. Most of us are more than willing to roll up our sleeves to pitch in and help others, but even more willingly to neglect the work of the self. I tell you with all honesty, the work of the self is where the real growth occurs, so take the wool from your eyes, stop being distracted and spend a little time getting to know yourself on a deeper level because a better you is just around the corner. 

I am not what you would call sports minded, or sports orientated or even sports enthusiastic for that matter. I don't follow or participate in any team sports and I don't have a favourite team that I barrack for, not even in the AFL (Australian Football League) which often comes as a horrific shock to so many Australians when I tell them that. I have no idea who won the AFL Grand Final, ever for that matter. I don't know the names of any sports people and I never go to see people playing sports professionally. However, that does not mean that I do not recognise that sport is a strong and alluring form of entertainment to hundreds of thousands of people and that there are some huge benefits to being a part of a competitive team, but honestly, it's just so not my jam in any way, shape or form. 
It's not that I have never been a part of a sports team in my life, because I have, on many occasions actually. You can't grow up in Australia and completely avoid being involved in some kind of sport at some point in your life. Australia and a love of all things sport related goes hand in hand, and when I was growing up if you weren't good at sports or interested in sport you were a total freak. Even the most unfit beer-bellied blokes in my street would talk about the footy, watch the cricket and squat on the couch to catch the highlights from the Bathurst car rallies. You don't need to be fit to love your sport in Australia, you just have to love it, and if you don't, well you are just weird.
Growing up I was on a softball team, a footy team, a table tennis team, a beach volleyball team and once I was even part of a calisthenic squad. As a teenager I danced ballet, ballroom and even tried my hand at Taekwondo, but none of it stuck. I always thought that TV sports were dead boring and could never see any purpose in watching other people 'do' sport. The only part of the Olympics that I have ever really gotten into was the opening ceremony, and I have always considered competitions that awarded people for being the fastest and strongest and most physical enduring really archaic and rather uninspiring. However, as I said earlier, I understand that it serves a purpose as entertainment, but it has just never entertained me. 
I never kept up with any of the sports that I have been involved in, and over the years sports related activities have become of lower and lower priority and interest to me. I know that people are incredibly devoted to their sports, to their teams and to their sporting heros, but I am not and never will be a part of those ranks. And it still makes me an outcast to not be involved in, or at the very least enthusiastic about, sports. It is almost a prerequisite to society in Australia to love sport, in some way, in some fashion. And even though there's a plethora of sports to get behind and support, I honestly don't have any interest in knowing any more about any of them. 
I completely understand that people devote their lives to their sports, and hey....go them! Seriously, big props to that, but it doesn't inspire me to get involved. From what I have gleaned about professional sportsmanship, and I can only give an outsider's perspective on this, it seems elitist, corrupt, controlled, sexist, marketed and unnatural in every way. I have seen interviews with sport people that have left me feeling very sad about how inflated their egos are and how little regard they appear to have for their young and influential fans, and nothing that I have learned about sports as an adult has made me want to get back on board yet.  
However, that being said, every once and a while a sports story comes along that breaks the mold and makes me see how people can be reached through sports in enlightening and forward-thinking ways. Occasionally I can see how change can be garnered through a few brave and dedicated heroes of the sports arena, and how, just like any form of entertainment, it can be used for good or bad purposes. I just wish that  a sports story would come along that would make me want to be more involved again, but it would need to be a pretty frickin amazing one to make that happen! 

FIGHTING WITH MY FAMILY 
Release Date: 2019
Rating: M
Running Time: 108 mins
A biographical sports comedy/drama based on the 2012 documentary The Wrestlers: Fighting with my Family by director Max Fisher. With a surprisingly fresh dialogue (mainly due to Stephen Merchant's writing and directing) Fighting with My Family delivers an enjoyable, educational and entertaining look into the world of female professional wrestling. 
A British amatuer wrestling family have their lives changed forever when they receive a call from an NXT executive requesting that two of their children (Zak and Saraya 'Paige' Bevis) try out for a spot in the WWE. However, when it is Paige that gets selected to join, Zak struggles to be supportive in the wake of his own lost dream, leaving Paige to face the cutthroat world of professional wrestling on her own. 
This is a perfectly cast film, with Nick Frost and Lena Headey providing excellent support to Florence Pugh (Paige) as her enthusiastic wrestling parents, and also delivering some much needed levity and humour to an otherwise pretty predictable script. Vince Vaughn is also terrific as trainer and WWE representative Hutch Morgan and Jack Lowden steals the show with his pouty disposition and scruffy likeability as Paige's put upon brother Zak. Dwayne Johnson is playing himself here and also depicting his old wrestling persona 'The Rock' which is always amusing to me.
The cast really do make this movie, but I cannot deny that it was also really great to watch another female empowerment movie about a strong, determined women taking the lead, breaking stereotypes and kicking some arse along the way.
FINAL SAY: Dick me dead, and bury me pregnant. 
3.5 Chilli Peppers ​