My system has taken a real flogging over the last few weeks. The high volume of work and constant travel has taken its toll, and I ended up quite sick and pretty run down as a result. In turn, I felt vulnerable, edgy and at times quite unsure of myself and my ability. In fact this time last week, I was starting to wonder if I even had enough fortitude to manage my workload, and I waivered for the first time in my new job. Thankfully, this feeling did not stay with me, and I got by with a little help from my friends, my work colleagues and most of all my family who all rallied around to ensure that I had support, love and time to reboot my flagging system.
I haven't even been in my new job for six months yet and the workload has certainly not gotten any lighter, in fact it has doubled down. And a workload of that calibre when you are still finding your feet is not fun at all, it's bloody stressful and my anxiety was high to say the least. Team that with a reduction of personal down time and a lack of time in your own home, your own bed and with your own tribe and you've got a recipe for a breakdown. I didn't actually have a breakdown, but I did lose faith in my ability and I did get sick - both which were shithouse and fricken hard. 
I eventually had to have my workload reduced because the hours that I was putting in were just not sustainable. This was hard for me, because it felt like failing in a way, even though I know that no-one could've managed it alone, it still felt shit not having the minerals to go it alone. What can I say - it's in my genes to work until I buckle; and that, I now know, is as stupid as it is dangerous. I made myself ill and emotional and fragile - a gross mixture of things that I haven't felt all at once in a while. But I felt them and I also lived and I also learned. Sometimes you can't make it on your own. 
So I went back to my home, my bed, my tribe and I set about healing myself. I addressed the root cause of the problem, set some healthy boundaries, had some uncomfortable conversations and stood back to reassess the landscape. I healed my tired body with good sleep, key nutrients and anti-inflammatory methods. I stimulated my vagus nerve, I practised somatic therapy and I increased my protein. And, yep, I am definitely starting to feel a lot more like my old self again.
Next week I look forward to being able to increase my physical movement again because I have mostly rested in my down time, and I really want to get back into a regular yoga routine again. Craig and I have planned to spend the King's Birthday long weekend in Hobart for the Dark Mofo Festival and I am really looking forward to spending a few days of down time away with him doing something fun. I have had to cancel quite a few of my joyful plans over the last couple of weeks because of work demands and illness and I really need to do more things that spark joy and bring me positive vibes again.
​So that's the plan for me this Winter,  once I am 100% well again, I want to focus on finding a better work-life balance so that this doesn't happen to me ever again!

DINNER IN AMERICA
Release Date: 2022 
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 106 mins 
A dark comedy and coming of age story; written, directed and edited by Adam Carter Rehmeier. Dinner is America delivers an unexpectedly sweet tale with a punk rock energy. Brimming with absurd and amusing characters, the mix of clumsy infatuation and cock sure confidence is an absolute joy to watch. 
When 'on the run' punk rocker Simon meets awkward and outcast Patty, they seem like they couldn't have anything in common. However, though their unfailing love of punk music and ability to accept differences, they find solace in each other and an escape from their isolated lives. 
The entire film hinges on Simon and Patty, and they are brilliantly and convincingly portrayed by Kyle Gallner and Emily Skeggs, who just light up the screen together here. As amusing as Napoleon Dynamite and as unique as Shark vs Eagle, Dinner in America is destined to become a cult classic.  
FINAL SAY: I'm a watermelon slammed into your driveway. 
3.5 Chilli Peppers ​

I have strangely become very quickly accustomed to having less time to marinate in things lately. Don't get me wrong, I am still practising meditations and yoga, spending time in the kitchen and journaling and often contemplating and pondering as I like to; I still do enjoy a multitude of mindful and gentle practises. I just don't spend as much time sitting around anymore, or over -thinking things, because I honestly just don't have the time to that kind of thing anymore. 
See the need and sort it, make a commitment and stick to it and keep your integrity and honesty in check and usually things seem to go reasonably well. Sure there are evenings that we don't sit down to eat until 7.30pm or later, and when the day comes to an end I do look forward to the soft landing of my bed - when I am in town to be able to access my own bed that is. However, all in all - things have still been seen to and attended to and no one is freaking out about me being out of town regularly. I still have ample time to share with friends and family and I haven't had to give up any of the things that I love to do, so it really hasn't been as challenging as I thought it would be. 
I actually think that I may have been a bit of a time waster to be perfectly honest. A fluffer of sorts, just plodding along and often pouring way to much energy into things that never actually required it of me. And because I had more time, I wasn't as discerning about the ways that I spent it. I gave my time to people who, quite honestly, probably didn't deserve it. I can think of a few people that I poured a lot of energy, attention and care into that turned out to be a complete waste of my time. Now that I have less time that is my own, well I just can't be doing that kind of thing. The people that get a share of my free time now are the people that matter to me greatly - and it is as simple as that. 
You could say that too much free time had allowed me to create some unhealthy habits around the way that I invested it. I had a monkey on my back of sorts, because I had felt obligated to use up my free time and probably invested that time in some pretty bullshit 'people pleasing' things, but not anymore - no sir! That monkey  is off my back for good. Now I worry a hell of a lot less about pleasing other people and I spend a lot more time focused on what pleases me; and it's turned out to be incredible!
In the last month I've spent quality time with my husband, children, my grand-daughter, my mother, my best friends, my new work colleagues and my old work colleagues. I've gone out for drinks, caught up with mates for pizza, I've had spa treatments, and nights away with friends, I went to Tasmania for work, attended a sangha and a book club evening, hosted a Spicywatch movie night, stayed away in Shepparton, Melbourne and Portland, had lunch at a friends house and just last weekend went to the LUME in Melbourne to do yoga. This weekend I am hosting Easter in Enfield and next week I have another trip to Shepparton, a night with Zoe,  a trivia night and a New Moon Sound-bath happening. Happily busy, never bored and certainly not pouring any energy into things that don't deserve my time anymore!

Another whirlwind month slides by as I settle into my new employment and watch my grand-daughter grow more independent and beautiful by the day. I recently turned 51 and spent some time over the long weekend reflecting; as I do when I have a birthday, about the blessings that I have in my life. Whenever I have another lap around the sun, I am always blown away by how generous and kind my loved ones are and how terrifically my friends treat me. Again I was showered with love and attention, some gorgeous and thoughtful gifts and lots of messages and offers to share time in celebration of my life.  Blessings, so many blessings and much to be grateful for.
In the last month I have had so many reason to feel grateful, its hard to name all of them, but some highlights for me were The Bohemian Summer Festival, regular stays with Zoe, Ben and Freja in Bendigo due to work travel, Soundbathing with friends, my mums cast coming off the wrist that she broke in January, seeing Kinky Boots at Her Majesty's Theatre, Sip Champagne bar with Zoe, the Book Club group, trivia nights rebooting, Spicywatch movie night, the National Gallery of Victoria with Seth and watching the Oscars with my feet up and a glass of bubbles in hand!  A bloody amazing month and a reflection of how genuinely lucky I am to be able to engage and afford to be doing so many fantastic things. 
And, I also have my next month of movies lined up thanks to the awards season which always takes the thinking out of 'what to watch' for me for weeks to come. And don't worry - just in case you missed it, here are the nominees and winners in every category of the 2025 Academy Awards. Happy viewing!

Best Picture

• WINNER: Anora
• The Brutalist
• A Complete Unknown
• Conclave
• Dune: Part Two
• Emilia Pérez
• I'm Still Here
• Nickel Boys
• The Substance
• Wicked

Director

• WINNER: Anora — Sean Baker
• The Brutalist — Brady Corbet
• A Complete Unknown — James Mangold
• Emilia Pérez — Jacques Audiard
• The Substance — Coralie Fargeat

Leading Actor

• WINNER: Adrien Brody in The Brutalist
• Timothée Chalamet in A Complete Unknown
• Colman Domingo in Sing Sing
• Ralph Fiennes in Conclave
• Sebastian Stan in The Apprentice

Leading Actress

• Cynthia Erivo in Wicked
• Karla Sofia Gascon in Emilia Perez
• WINNER: Mikey Madison in Anora
• Demi Moore in The Substance
• Fernanda Torres in I'm Still Here

Supporting Actor

• Yura Borisov in Anora
• WINNER: Keiran Culkin in A Real Pain
• Edward Norton in A Complete Unknown
• Guy Pearce in The Brutalist
• Jeremy Strong in The Apprentice

Supporting Actress

• Monica Barbaro in A Complete Unknown
• Ariana Grande in Wicked
• Felicity Jones in The Brutalist
• Isabella Rossellini in Conclave
• WINNER: Zoe Saldana in Emilia Perez

Animated Feature Film

• WINNER: Flow
• Inside Out 2
• Memoir of a Snail
• Wallace & Gromit: Vengence Most Fowl
• The Wild Robot

Cinematography

• WINNER: The Brutalist — Lol Crawley
• Dune: Part Two — Greig Fraser
• Emilia Perez — Paul Guilhaume
• Maria — Ed Lachman
• Nosferatu — Jarin Blaschke

Costume design

• A Complete Unknown — Arianne Phillips
• Conclave — Lisy Christl
• Gladiator II — Janty Yates and Dave Crossman
• Nosferatu — Linda Muir
• WINNER: Wicked —  Paul Tazewell

Documentary feature film

• Black Box Diaries
• WINNER: No Other Land
• Porcelain War
• Soundtrack to a Coup d'Etat
• Sugarcane

Documentary short film

• Death by Numbers
• I Am Ready, Warden
• Incident
• Instruments of a Beating Heart
• WINNER: The Only Girl in the Orchestra

Film editing

• WINNER: Anora — Sean Baker
• The Brutalist — David Jancso
• Conclave — Nick Emerson
• Emilia Pérez — Juliette Welfling
• Wicked — Myron Kerstein

International feature film

• WINNER: Brazil: I'm Still Here
• Denmark: The Girl with the Needle
• France: Emilia Pérez
• Germany: The Seed of the Sacred Fig
• Latvia: Flow

Makeup and hairstyling

• A Different Man — Mike Marino, David Presto and Crystal Jurado
• Emilia Pérez — Julia Floch Carbonel, Emmanuel Janvier and Jean-Christophe Spadaccini
• Nosferatu — David White, Traci Loader and Suzanne Stokes-Munton
• WINNER: The Substance — Pierre-Olivier Persin, Stéphanie Guillon and Marilyne Scarselli
• Wicked — Frances Hannon, Laura Blount and Sarah Nuth

Music (original score)

• WINNER: The Brutalist — Daniel Blumberg
• Conclave — Volker Bertelmann
• Emilia Pérez — Clément Ducol and Camille
• Wicked — John Powell and Stephen Schwartz
• The Wild Robot — Kris Bowers

Music (original song)

• WINNER: El Mal from Emilia Pérez; Music by Clément Ducol and Camille; Lyric by Clément Ducol, Camille and Jacques Audiard
• The Journey from The Six Triple Eight; Music and Lyric by Diane Warren
• Like A Bird from Sing Sing; Music and Lyric by Abraham Alexander and Adrian Quesada
• Mi Camino from Emilia Pérez; Music and Lyric by Camille and Clément Ducol
• Never Too Late from Elton John: Never Too Late; Music and Lyric by Elton John, Brandi Carlile, Andrew Watt and Bernie Taupin

Production design

• The Brutalist — Production Design: Judy Becker; Set Decoration: Patricia Cuccia
• Conclave — Production Design: Suzie Davies; Set Decoration: Cynthia Sleiter
• Dune: Part Two — Production Design: Patrice Vermette; Set Decoration: Shane Vieau
• Nosferatu — Production Design: Craig Lathrop; Set Decoration: Beatrice Brentnerová
• WINNER: Wicked — Production Design: Nathan Crowley; Set Decoration: Lee Sandales

Short film (animated)

• Beautiful Men
• WINNER: In the Shadow of the Cypress
• Magic Candles
• Wander to Wonder
• Yuck!

Short film (live action)

• A Lien
• Anuja
• WINNER: I'm Not a Robot
• The Last Ranger
• The Man Who Could Not Remain Silent

Sound

• A Complete Unknown — Tod A. Maitland, Donald Sylvester, Ted Caplan, Paul Massey and David Giammarco
• WINNDER: Dune: Part Two — Gareth John, Richard King, Ron Bartlett and Doug Hemphill
• Emilia Pérez — Erwan Kerzanet, Aymeric Devoldère, Maxence Dussère, Cyril Holtz and Niels Barletta
• Wicked — Simon Hayes, Nancy Nugent Title, Jack Dolman, Andy Nelson and John Marquis
• The Wild Robot — Randy Thom, Brian Chumney, Gary A. Rizzo and Leff Lefferts

Visual effects

• Alien: Romulus — Eric Barba, Nelson Sepulveda-Fauser, Daniel Macarin and Shane Mahan
• Better Man — Luke Millar, David Clayton, Keith Herft and Peter Stubbs
• WINNER: Dune: Part Two — Paul Lambert, Stephen James, Rhys Salcombe and Gerd Nefzer
• Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes — Erik Winquist, Stephen Unterfranz, Paul Story and Rodney Burke
• Wicked — Pablo Helman, Jonathan Fawkner, David Shirk and Paul Corbould

Adapted screenplay

• A Complete Unknown — Screenplay by James Mangold and Jay Cocks
• WINNER: Conclave — Screenplay by Peter Straughan
• Emilia Pérez — Screenplay by Jacques Audiard; In collaboration with Thomas Bidegain, Léa Mysius and Nicolas Livecchi
• Nickel Boys — Screenplay by RaMell Ross & Joslyn Barnes
• Sing Sing — Screenplay by Clint Bentley, Greg Kwedar; Story by Clint Bentley, Greg Kwedar, Clarence Maclin, John "Divine G" Whitfield

Original screenplay

• WINNER: Anora — Written by Sean Baker
• The Brutalist — Written by Brady Corbet, Mona Fastvold
• A Real Pain — Written by Jesse Eisenberg
• September 5 — Written by Moritz Binder, Tim Fehlbaum; Co-Written by Alex David
• The Substance — Written by Coralie Fargeat

A REAL PAIN
Release Date: 2024
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 90 mins
A comedy-drama, written and directed by Jesse Eisenberg who also stars in the lead role, A Real Pain delivers a thought provoking at relationship that is greatly bolstered by Keiran Culkin's incredible portrayal of Benji, a troubled young man who swings between being magnetically care free and offensively careless. Culkin landed the both the Golden Globe and the Oscar for Best Supporting Actor off the strength of his role here and he shines very brightly as Benji. 
David and Benji, mismatched and once close cousins, take a pilgrimage to Poland using the funds that their deceased grandmother left for them. They join a Jewish heritage tour in the hopes of seeing the home that she grew up in and connecting with their Jewish family history. Along the way the odd couple cousins engage in a series of activities that has a profound effect of them both and upon their relationship with each other. 
I loved the way that this movie played out, with Benji's 'real pain' character actually being the main catalyst for change and growth in others, in spite of his own misgivings and at times complete disregard for social norms and etiquette.
A Real Pain is as charming as it is disturbing, brilliantly written and perfectly cast, it's one not to miss. 
FINAL SAY: We used to be different. 
4 Chilli Peppers ​

I have a seat at the table. For the first time, in a very long time, I have a seat at the table and people actually want to hear what I think and people really care about my opinion. You see, for many years I have made decisions, thousands of them in fact but before, no-one ever really gave much of crap about them. When you aren't making what people believe to be 'big decisions' then without realising it, people are actually quite dismissive and generally disinterested in what you're filling your life up with. They just don't care.
If you aren't making decisions that will affect other people, generally speaking, people just don't value your opinions all that much. Now, I personally do not at all ascribe to that way of thinking but since I have had a seat at the table of decision making and some actually autonomy over how things will go, I have come to see this hypocrisy for the utter bullshit that it is. And trust me when I say that it is rife and it does happen all the time, and that you may even be doing it without realising that you are. 
Truth is, that I am no better at decision making than I was when I didn't have a seat at the table. I was just as good at it back when no-one was listening; in fact I would go so far as to say that I was even better at it than some of the people that were making big decisions for myself and others. Which has really made me think a lot more about the power that some people in business can hold over others and the control that utter fricken idiots can wield over far smarter and far better people. And I really hate to say it, but government, education, health and industry are prime examples of this.
Apparently, the fatter your pay packet, the more important that your opinion is, and I call absolute horse shit on that. Just because you can crap-talk yourself into a position of status in a one hour interview, that hardly makes you more worthy of making the big decisions. In some cases yeah, sure, of course it does, if you are exceptional at your job but unfortunately, there are heaps of ding dongs out there being grossly overpaid to make choices for, and to dictate to, people that are clearly smart and more capable than they are. And it just sucks, I know because I did for the better part of 15 years.
Is experience worth more than a university degree? Are street smarts more valuable and desirable than an honours degree? Is a strong work ethic and loyalty seen as simply desirable or should they actually be rewardable traits? Should people be judged on performance rather than qualification? Are scholars better at making decisions than blue collar workers? Does your wage bracket reflect your level of competency?
These are all questions that are worthy of your time to consider. It is important that we are discerning and diplomatic in the way that we approach and understand the power that comes with making decisions for other people. No-one must be made to feel irrelevant or unimportant. Many, many, people deserve a seat at the table but may never get the opportunity to do so and people in positions of power need to be aware of that and respect how that process of compliance and control can make others feel, especially when they demonstrate high levels of autonomy and untapped knowledge themselves. It is certainly something that I have become keenly aware of  this year and because of this I will endeavour to always consider those who I may be representing as I take my seat at the table. And I will also slide out a seat for those who I know should already be involved in the decision making, to sit beside me and have a voice because I never want any of my people to feel powerless or undervalued. 

LITTLE FISH
Release Date: 2005
Rating: R 18+
Running Time: 113 mins 
A gritty Australian drama directed by Rowan Woods and written Jacquelin Perske, Little Fish gets under your skin with its incredibly believable cast whom deliver all of the downtrodden characters and events with staggering affect.
Tracy is trying to get on with her life. She's been clean for four years and runs the local video store. However when her ex-boyfriend returns and the man that she lives with Lionel, begin to rely on her for drug related activities, her sobriety soon becomes tested. 
As I said earlier, it is the intense performances that make this film so good; it is a riveting, albeit unnerving and upsetting watch. Hugo Weaving and Cate Blanchett are totally stripped back and delivering with raw intensity here and they are very well supported by Sam Neill, Noni Hazlehurst, Dustin Nguyen and Martin Henderson. 
It's a hard going watch, and although there are many covers of the Cold Chisel classic tune Flame Trees speckled throughout the movie, have your tissues on hand for both Sarah Blasko's version and the one sung by The Scared Heart School Choir, very stirring stuff. 
FINAL SAY: The past is right here. It's right here. 
3 Chilli Peppers ​

The beginning of a new year, the start of a new job and a fresh chance to alter the journey that I have undertaken so far. That's what 2025 is bringing to my door, and it is both wonderful and terrifying in equal measure. 
I have come to understand that we grow the most and at the fastest pace when we are placed under pressure. Just as you cannot make a diamond without immense pressure and a lotus cannot bloom without mud; so too is the way of all things. You need the difficulty, the challenge and the levels of discomfort to find out what you are truly capable of, and that is what I am experiencing right now. It's not so much unpleasant, its more uncomfortable in this new skin and I am constantly navigating new terrain and having to perform adjustments to find a new normal. In the past this would have stressed me out, but I have grown a lot in a decade and I am finding the process challenging in the most enjoyable of ways. 
Not a day goes by that doesn't call upon my social and emotional skill set and my problem solving skills and it is so good! This is what I have been waiting for, and didn't even realise that I was! Back in November I recall writing a blog about contentment and desire, and it gave me an opportunity to contemplate the extremely high level of life satisfaction that I was experiencing. But, I have come to understand that without desire or drive, contentment can be the mother of stagnation, procrastination and settling for what we have, rather than seeking challenge. In short, although I loved the high levels of contentment that I was experiencing, I wasn't really growing as a person or developing any of my skills. I was just marinating in the ease of it all, which is lovely but you can spoil if you marinate for too long. 
So change was what I needed but I didn't know that I actually needed it until I got it and now I feel so energise and passionate about things again. I haven't felt scared, ambitious, courageous, inventive or creative in a workplace for quite a while and I had forgotten how good it feels to be all of those things. Especially the uncertainty, that in itself is terrifyingly terrific! To not know and to need to learn again, I had forgotten the thirst and hunger that comes with that feeling and I really like it! 
And so, I have started my new career. One that involves leading, learning, travelling, problem solving, listening and sharing. One that offers me a seat at the table of decision makers and contemplators and gosh - what a incredible feeling to have back in my life again. So, it is with joy in my step and a smile in my heart that I launch into this brave new world of uncertainty and welcome the road that rises before me - 2025 is going to be a steep but rewarding learning curve for me, and I am ready to take it on!

MEMOIR OF A SNAIL
Release Date: 2024
Rating: M
Running Time: 94 mins 
An adult stop-motion animation tragic-comedy; written, produced and directed by Adam Elliot. The film's plot is loosely inspired by Elliot's real life experiences and was very well received by audiences and critics alike, landing a nomination for Animation Feature Film at the 2025 Golden Globes. 
Grace Pudel is growing up in Melbourne, Australia in the '70s. She's a little different and she's also very introverted, hence her love of the snail, a creature that always has a safe pace to hide. As we follow Grace throughout her life we discover what it truly means to be alive and free. 
This is a touching tale that explores grief, despair and humanity in humorous and heartfelt ways. The characters are larger than life and the voice actors (Sarah Snook, Kodi Smit-McPhee, Jackie Weaver, Eric Bana and Magda Szubanski - to name a few) are perfectly cast. Memoir of a Snail is moving and original storytelling that shouldn't be missed. 
FINAL SAY: Life can only be understood backwards, but we have to live it forwards. 
3.5 Chilli Peppers ​

Looking back across the landscape of 2024, I see that overall it was a year of massive growth for me. I did a whole lot more than I expected to do, faced some pretty unpleasant situations and had some major celebrations and massive highlights along the way as well.
I do love to brag about my amazing yearly achievements, not because I want to rub anyone's face in them, but mostly because looking back and remembering a year completely really helps me to identify all of the joys, personal highlights and reasons to be grateful, of which I have many in my life. Just take a look over the epic year that 2024 was for me: 
JANUARY: 30 Days of Yoga with Adriene (FLOW), Fruit Picking, Spicywatch Movie nights started, joined the sangha, Seth's 19th birthday, Hepburn bath-house, Day-tripping around Victoria, Chinese New Year celebrations, tuned in to the Triple j Hottest 100.
FEBRUARY:  Freja was born! Blackberry picking. 
MARCH: International Women's Day, My 50th birthday, Joined the Women's New Moon Circle, Drag Bingo, Dahlia Flower Arranging Class with Seth, Mushroom picking, Bendigo Stupa - Enliven Festival 2024, Easter Sunday with the family. 
APRIL: Long Service Leave, Groundhog Day in Melbourne, French Cooking Class in Sorrento, Sanctuary Day Spa,  Trivia Nights Started, Surprise birthday lunch at Myra's, Craig's birthday.
MAY: Ghost Hunt at Barwon Estate, Fiji Holiday (Snorkelling and Kayaking), Heritage Week events and tours, Paris: Impressions at Bendigo Art Gallery. 
JUNE:  White Night, Mindful Mingle Started, Spicywatch's 10th Birthday, Ghost hunt at the Palais in Daylesford, Zoe's 27th Birthday.
JULY: Winter School Holidays, 9 to 5 The Musical, French Cooking Day in Enfield.
AUGUST:  Poco Film Festival, Yoga day at Rocklyn Ashram, Ghost Hunt at Bishop's Palace, Book week dress up, Bowling. 
SEPTEMBER: Girl's Night Out with Zoe, Day out with friends in Geelong, Zoe and Ben purchase their first house, Father's Day, Spring School Holiday Break, Ghost Hunt in Elmore, Day out with mum. 
OCTOBER:  Horror Movie Night, Jubilee Lake Picnic, Cave Hill Creek Camp with School, Overnight Freja babysitting, Halloween Trivia Night at Piano Bar. 
NOVEMBER: Accidentally Wes Anderson, Lunch in Buninyong with friends, Ghost Hunt at Bishop's Palace, Sanctuary Day Spa, 30th Wedding Anniversary,  Zoe and Ben's Housewarming, Winning the Trivia Night at Brown Hill. 
DECEMBER: Wreath Making, Colour Run, Forest Glade Gardens in Mt. Macedon, Year 6 Graduation and farewell, Christmas trivia, Landing a great new job, Christmas Drinks with friends, Christmas Day with the fam,  Midsummers Night's Dream at Kirk's Reservoir. 

There is a lot here to celebrate and appreciate that's for sure. And on top of all of that, I have also managed to squeeze in:

• Daily meditation.
• 72 books - a new record for me!
• Workouts - 5 times a week.
• 211 movies.
• 11,500 average steps a day.
• 143 TV series 
• 22 brunches/ lunches and  delicious restaurant meals with family and friends. 
• A daily French lesson on Duolingo.
• Brain Gym everyday for 10 minutes.
• A daily journal entry. 
• 12 Spicywatch movie nights and 8 cinema visits. 

​
Woohoo! That's a lot of 'doing' for one year! 
And now, as 2025 commences I wonder what will arrive in the next 12 months. A new job on the horizon and a lot of new experiences to be had that's for sure. Let's hope that it's as equally fortuitous and joy filled as 2024 was because the last 12 months were a total game charger for me!

ANORA
Release Date: 2024
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 139 mins 
A comedy-drama, written, directed and edited by Sean Baker; Anora premiered in May 2024 at the 77th Cannes Film Festival where it won the Palme d'Or and quickly became the 'must see' comedy of 2024. Anora comes on like a fever dream, taking unpredictable turns and unleashing something that is equal parts seriously screwball and surprisingly sensitive, making it one of the most original films of 2024. 
Anora 'Ani' Mikheeva is a twenty three year old stripper just making ends meet when she is introduced to Ivan, the twenty one year old son of a wealthy Russian oligarch. The two spend a whirlwind week together with Ivan paying Ani $15,000 to be his girlfriend. Whilst the two are partying in Vegas, Ivan asks Ani to marry him at a Vegas chapel. However, once the news of Ivan's marriage to a stripper reaches home, things take a turn for the worst. 
Mikey Madison is fantastic as Anora and completely embodies the sassy, smart talking  character with an infectious energy. She is extremely well support by Mark Eydelshteyn who plays Ivan and Yura Borisov, Paul Weissman, Karren Karaqulian and Vache Tovmasyan who make up the Russian gangster crew. 
This is a very funny movie, I laughed out loud so many times that I almost got tossed out of the cinema! Easily the funniest film of 2024, Anora is a fabulous offering that shouldn't be missed. 
FINAL SAY: I don't have Instagram. I'm an adult, man!
4 Chilli Peppers ​

You know what they say about the best laid plans right? Well, I got a really big serve of 'nah ya don't' from the universe this month, that I did not see coming at all. And I could've crawled into a hole and cried for days but I did not do that, even though I really wanted to, more than once or twice. Okay, well in all honesty, I may have cried a bit for a day or two, but not nearly as much as I wanted to. I did however decide to get all proactive and take the bull by the horns and I think that I have managed things pretty well, all things considered. 
So, let's start at the beginning. Things started to go south for me on December 3rd when I discovered that I needed to find a new job. After seven years of working 'one to one' with a blind student, I thought that I had given my employer plenty of signals and enough verbal interaction for them to know that I was not willing to undertake another 'one to one' learning support role in 2025. Working 'one to one' with high needs students has a 'burn out' factor that can really only be explained when you have walked the miles yourself, so to speak, and I can assure you that it takes its toll. It takes its toll physically, emotionally and mentally and everyone deserves a break from that level of intensity and I knew that I needed one.
Anyway, my employer did not listen closely to my conversations or requests, and also did not follow through on previous implications around my role, and rather unfortunately placed me in an awkward position where I found myself again in a 'one to one' capacity. Only this time, I was placed with an even more complex student that also needs to be toileted. And to that I said - hmmmm, no thanks! And that is what I told them, thank you, but no thank you. 
Which meant that I was left with less than three weeks of term to find another job. Time to draft my resume and get my cover letter sorted, I was back on the market! Fine, I got this. Then, two days later I was racing Seth to hospital because he had tonsilitis and his throat and epiglottis swelled up so much that it was closing over his wind pipe and he was choking. That was a fun ride to the hospital with my pulse racing so fast that I nearly needed an ambulance as well. 24 hours later, Seth's throat was sorted but I was struggling to sleep. That was also the day that we found the baby brown snake hanging from the garage door and I thought, what the hell is actually happening here? Mind racing, I pulled out of my work staff party (who feels like partying when you feel like that?) and my monthly sangha because I was a bit over-wrought and not great company; in fact my stress levels were quite high at that stage and I just had to retreat and have a re-group. 
I went in hard and applied for six jobs and got two interviews within ten days, which wasn't bad odds. I accepted a terrific job offer on Monday 16th December, only to receive a better one on Wednesday 18th December and then I had to have another awkward conversation to pull out of the first offer. I actually really hated doing that too because I do not like to go back on my word and it was a really good job. However, the job that I did end up taking is excellent and it is probably my last shot at leadership, so I felt that if I didn't take it I would be doing myself a disservice.
Plus, I had asked, or rather prayed, to my dad to help me on this one. I've not asked for his help with anything since he died five years ago, but I was so lost and overwhelmed that I actually called on him for a favour and asked for his support, and sure enough I landed an excellent job - so thanks dad. I really did feel like you and the universe had my back on this one. Crisis averted, got a job lined up for 2025, had my streak of three bad things, I must be coming out of the poo-pit by now right?
Yeah, not quite! After an emotional farewell to the Year 6 graduating students that I have worked with for seven years, a goodbye to the blind students that I have supported for just as long and an exit from my workplace (that's a lot of goodbyes at once - and a lot of feelings right there), I left work on the 20th feeling relatively good in spirit and ready to enjoy a well earned break and rest. All the Christmas shopping done, all I had to do was relax and enjoy the festive season. And then yesterday, because a work colleague had tested positive for covid, I thought I had better, especially since I had mum staying over for Christmas and yep - you guessed it - positive!  I have bloody covid again, for the third time and the second time over Christmas! UUUGGHHH!
​So, yep, Christmas plans had to change again! As I said, the best laid plans right? Honestly it's enough to make you cry. It turns out that Zoe, Ben and Freja all had covid last week, so they have full immunity and can still join us, which is actually fortuitous, if covid can actually ever be fortuitous. Anyway, they are still coming and will arrive tomorrow for a few days. Poor mum however cannot be anywhere near us, so she is the one who really lost out with this, but I have promised to make it up with two fun days out with her as soon as I get a negative test result. 
Anyway, long story short, it is two days until Christmas. I have experienced my own kind of fresh hell in the lead up to it but I do not want to harp on about the shitty stuff anymore. It's time to crack open the champers, put up my feet and share some quality time with my lovelies out here in Enfield. I am ready for some Christmas joy and don't want to hear another bad word about any of it. I am leaving it all behind me with 2024 and moving on up to higher ground. 

SPEAK NO EVIL
Release Date: 2024
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 110 mins
If there is one thing that James McAvoy can do well, it is crazy, and he is completely delivering 'the crazy' in Speak No Evil. A psychological thriller and a remake of the Danish- Dutch film of the same name that was made in 2022, Speak No Evil manages to bring just enough intrigue and interest to keep you invested until the bitter end. 
While vacationing in Italy, an American family of three befriend a free spirited British family and gain an invitation to holiday at their farmhouse in Devon. With the option of free travel available, the Americans happily head to the remote English location to immerse themselves in some local culture but soon discover that they have become embroiled in some very sinister goings on.
The story isn't exactly ground breaking, and the writing is on the wall very early on here, but the incredible cast really sell this film with their on-point delivery; especially Aisling Franciosi, Mackenzie Davis,  Scoot McNairy and as I mentioned earlier, especially James McAvoy who brings so much sinister side eye and sly smiling that it is impossible not to feel unnerved.  For a simple thriller, this is definitely worth a gander. 
FINAL SAY: Because you let us!
3 Chilli Peppers ​

I know that I say this every year, but what happened to October and November? I mean really - what happened? One minute I am contemplating Halloween candy in the shops and the next thing I know I'm putting up the Christmas tree and planning Christmas events. And I do not recall how it happened or how I arrived at December so quickly. Only 14 working days until the summer break commences and this year it is going to be an especially big ending for me because I am going to be saying farewell to a cohort of children that I have been with for seven years, along side of the blind student that I have supported. 
It is huge saying goodbye to a cohort, a role and an identity that I have had for seven years, but I am so ready for a new challenge and I am more than ready (although I do care for them dearly) to farewell the children that I have travelled with throughout their primary school experience. It will be a bitter-sweet farewell and an emotional one as well, that much I am sure of.
And now, over the 23 days I commence the count down to Christmas and begin to consider the wonderful opportunities that I will soon have to once again share more time with my nearest and dearest, and I cannot wait! The December calendar is fast filling up with fun events, festive celebrations and triumphant endings and I am really looking forward to enjoying all of these events with enthusiasm and energy, and the only way to do that is to make sure that I rest well, eat well and mindfully take care of myself along the way to avoid burn out. But none of this should really be a problem for me, I am quite good at setting boundaries and caring for my own wellbeing these days and I have every intention of arriving at the end of term feeling both fresh and relaxed. 
I have even made sure that my December viewing list has been created so that I don't miss any festive flick options. I am hoping to tackle (before Christmas arrives) a number of Yuletide themed undertakings:

• The Heist Before Christmas - Foxtel
• Silent Night - Foxtel
• How to Make Gravy - Foxtel
• There's Something in the Barn - Foxtel
• Dear Santa - Foxtel
• Nugget is Dead - Stan
• Fatman - Stan 
• Ru Paul's Christmas Drag Race - Stan
• No Activity Christmas Special - Stan 
• Christmas Bloody Christmas - Shudder
• That Christms - Netflix
• Nativity 2 - Netflix
• The Man Who Invented Christmas - SBS
• Terrifier 3 - Apple 

And can I please recommend, if you haven't seen it already, a movie that has become my new favourite Christmas movie? You can find the review below if you are interested and I highly recommend that you make some time to see it if you can (currently streaming on Netflix):

THE HOLDOVERS
Release Date: 2023
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 133 mins 
A Christmas drama, directed by Alexander Payne and written by David Hemingson that explores the relationships that can develop when people are placed together by circumstance. With a slew of Oscar and Golden Globe nominations, The Holdovers garnered overwhelming critic acclaim and saw supporting actress Da'Vine Joy Randolph deservingly take both the Oscar and the Golden Globe for Best Supporting Actress. 
It's December 1970 and an uptight professor called Paul Hunham has been chosen to stay behind at Barton Academy, an all male boarding school in New England for privileged young men. Over the Christmas break Paul has to supervise the five remaining students who were not collected at the end of term. As the days go by the boys eventually leave, and only one angry upstart named Angus remains behind with Paul, along with the cafeteria manager Mary Lamb, who has no reason to return home for Christmas since her son Curtis was recently killed in the Vietnam War.  Together they share the days and their stories with each other over the festive season. 
This is a beautiful and satisfying story that really touched my heart. The performances are first class all around with Paul Giamatti, Da'Vine Joy Randolph and Dominic Sessa all delivering emotionally and faultlessly. The Holdovers has just become my favourite Christmas movie of all time, it's an unmissable viewing.
FINAL SAY: For most people life is like a henhouse ladder: shitty and short. 
4 Chilli Peppers ​

Last Friday night I attended a new moon circle and sound-bath. I go to this event each month and I love it. A group of very easy going, non-judgemental and welcoming women gather together at each new moon cycle to share ideas, exchange experiences, practise some sort of craft or art workshop and then wrap up the evening with a healing sound-bath meditation. It always happens on a Friday evening and it is a great way to set an intention and focus on what you might like to manifest into your world during the next month. I always look forward to the event and I always find that the couple of hours that I spend in the presence of these unique and inspiring women that share the circle, rejuvenates my spirit and always gives me pause for reflection. 
This month we were encouraged to write down the desires that we are hoping to manifest into our lives as we move into the influence of the new moon of Scorpio. I pondered this, and never one to rest on my laurels, I thought that my desires would come to me quickly because I am always looking for self improvement and a way to bring more joy into my world. And I was honestly stumped. Not because I lack desire or energy for new experiences but rather because I am just so damn content and grateful for the extremely abundant life that I already have. I have done so much work on myself and I have made so many positive improvements to myself in the last seven years that I am barely even a reflection of the person that I used to be. I have reached a point in my journey where the work that I have rigorously put into self improvement is genuinely paying off and the call to address my desires has really highlighted that for me. 
I have the most amazing relationships in my life now, ones that feel genuine because they are genuine. Ones that make me feel valuable and seen, ones that feed me and comfort me. And they are real and untainted, and I feel safe to be myself in my relationships and I feel safe to be transparent and I feel loved. I give love and receive love in equal measure now, in all aspects of my life. I let go and trusted the universe to have my back and it did, and I am happier than I have ever been in my entire life. 
I sleep well, eat well, exercise well and have balance in my work/life experiences. I have spiritual practises and hobbies that feed my soul, lift my sense of wellbeing and spark joy. I travel, I work, I cook, I clean, I write, I meditate, I garden, I draw, I celebrate, I contemplate, I lead, I follow, I share, I give, I laugh, I love and I listen. I have no hatred inside of me, I have no anger inside of me, I have abundance, I have trust and I look forward to being in my own space everyday because it brings me healing, it brings me smiles and it brings me growth. I love my home, I love my family, I love my friends and I love my life. And I say that without any hesitation or reservation because it is true - absolutely true. 
I forgive myself for all of the things that I did while I was learning to find my true self and I forgive others that I may have perceived to have been hurting me because I now understand that they were just trying to keep themselves safe in the only ways that they knew how to and I honestly wish nothing but peace and fulfilment for them as well. I accept myself and I completely understand that the road that I have travelled, although quite hard at times, has brought me here - to myself, to the truest version of myself that I have ever known. I am the healthiest and happiest version of myself that I have ever been in my entire life and it feels so amazing.  And all that I could possibly ever desire at this stage in my journey is to keep this feeling going, to keep feeling this connected and aware and open. 
So my deepest desire is to keep on keeping on and to continue to flourish and share my life openly and joyfully. To continue to be grateful, mindful and patient. To be open to new experiences, to be willing to help where and when I can and to live the next stretch of my life as authentically and kindly as possible - that is what I desire. 

DEPARTURES
Release Date: 2008
Rating: M
Running Time: 130 mins 
A Japanese drama directed by Yojiro Takita and, in 2009, the first Japanese production to win the Academy Award for Best Foreign Language Film. Acclaimed by critics and audiences alike, Departures is a beautiful film in every respect. With it's touching depictions of relationships and the struggles we have to accept death as an inevitable part of life, Departures is both a meditation and celebration of the transience and beauty of life.  
Young cellist Daigo moves himself and his young wife back to his home town after he loses his job in Tokyo when his orchestra disbands. Disillusioned and desperate for work, Daigo applies for a job at a firm called NK Agent Office that claims to assist departures. Thinking that he will be working in travel, Daigo applies and is bewildered when he learns that NK actually deals with the dead, specifically with preparing bodies for cremation in a ceremony called encoffinment. As the months pass, Daigo find that he has a natural skill for the role, much to everyone's horror, and that the job allows him to reconnect with his past and renew his respect for the life that he has been given. 
Touching is an understatement, this movie will move you so deeply that you may find yourself crying more than once throughout the film, and although the topic of death may seem sombre, this film is actually incredibly uplifting and extremely life affirming. It's a delightful ride from start to end, make sure you don't miss this one. 
FINAL SAY: Fate brought you here. 
4 Chilli Peppers ​

I have been chatting with a lot of people about success lately. And in general I think that most people measure success based on income, belongings, assets and achievements. Not everyone does, but many do. I think that it is the nature of the world to measure success by how much you have or how much you have to offer, but this feels wrong to me and it doesn't sit well with me. 
And let me explain my thinking here. I clearly have more than I could ever want for in this life, or any life for that matter, especially when it comes to my living conditions. I am super fortunate and for that I am eternally grateful. I have a beautiful home, a good car, a decent job that affords me many things, regular holidays and pretty much whatever I want when I want it. This in itself makes me far more well-off than millions of people on the planet, but I could compare myself to people who have much more money than myself and think - wow, I'm actually a failure. I don't have as much as....blah blah...and I haven't done enough with my life....I should have.....in the bank by now....I should be further along financially....I haven't …..
And I could go on and on and on, but I won't because I don't actually feel that way at all. I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything because I know that I am not. And that is because I do not measure success based on income, belongings, assets or achievements. I think that real success looks totally different to that and it has nothing to do with money, property, profession or status. 
I think that real success looks and feels quite different to what most people assume that success will look like. 
To me real success is:

• enjoying and experiencing authentic relationships 
• having a regulated nervous system
• not comparing yourself to others
• showing up for yourself
• having a kind inner dialogue 
• being able to let go 
• owning your own behaviour 
• being aware of your words
• meeting personal goals 
• having authentic connections
• keeping healthy boundaries
• accepting your humanness and the humanness of others
• living your life in a way that feels right for you 
• being forgiving
• feeling positive about your future and yourself 
• showing gratitude easily 
• exchanging love and being willing to be vulnerable 

That's real success to me, that's the stuff that make people complete and whole. All that other stuff is lovely, don't get me wrong, the money and the assets make life comfortable and easy, but are they the true measure of success? 
We all know that some people have a lot of wealth in this world, at their fingertips 24/7 and it may make them feel like they are successful, but we also know that it can bring with it greed, anger, bitterness, selfishness or loneliness as well.
There are some successes that money cannot afford, and they are the successes that I am looking for in my life, they are the priceless things that make me feel grateful, wealthy and joyful; and I willingly invite more of that success into my life any day of the week. 

BREAD AND TULIPS 
Release Date: 2000
Rating: PG 13
Running Time:  114 mins 
An Italian romantic comedy directed by Silvio Soldini that delivers a perfect hit of hopeful joy and renewed self discovery that is both refreshing and entertaining to watch.
Rosalba starts to see the realities of her marriage when her husband leaves her behind whilst on a family holiday. Tired of her routine as a housewife and under appreciated mother, Rosalba embarks on a trip to finally see Venice and experience a new way of being. 
Bread and Tulips is a lot like Shirley Valentine in premise but it contained a lot more heartfelt interactions, way less sarcasm and a lot less sex. Rosalba's charming character is just impossible to not fall in love with and she is perfectly portrayed by the always lovely Lucia Maglietta. The casting here is truly great, and I especially enjoyed Bruno Ganz as Fernando, Marina Massironi  as Gazia and Guiseppe Battiston as the hilarious plumber come private detective, Costantino.
This is a terrific slice of Italian cinema and a heart-warming tale that shouldn't be missed. 
FINAL SAY: I felt my phoenix rise from the ashes. 
3.5 Chilli Peppers ​

My mindful practises have expanded over the school holiday break and I am now embracing slow living. Slow living is kind of like mindfulness, but it is really more focused on grounding and re-setting yourself than needing to be mindful.  Lord knows that I spend a lot of time in mindful contemplation, so the idea of just switching off every now and again, or just doing something for the utter joy of it certainly has great appeal to me also, and nothing provides more time to meander and marinate than a school holiday term break, so I've been embracing the slow with both hands. 
To be totally honest, I actually do crave slow, even though I am often moving at break neck speed and over filling my life to the brim with exciting adventures and opportunities. From time to time I just have to escape everyone and everything for a few days and I will find myself searching for slow rather than mindful ways of being. And one of the best things about slow living is that it totally fills my hedonist bucket because there is a lot of 5 senses stimulation involved in slow living, and who doesn't want more of that action?
Still not sure what slow living might involve? Well here's a list of ways to kick your slow cooker into gear:

• Spending 15 minutes outside with a good coffee in the morning.
• Eating by candlelight.
• Not using your phone/Ipad/device for an entire day.
• Picking out a new books at the library/ bookstore. 
• Selecting a new gin/ whiskey or wine at a tasting.
• Picking fruit/ vegetables or herbs. 
• Listening to an audio book in the bath. 
• Making your own pizza - base and all. 
• Watching the sunrise or sunset. 
• Writing in a journal.
• Having a long breakfast or brunch and making it from scratch. 
• Giving someone a really long hug or cuddling on the couch.
• Having a candlelight shower.
• Sketching, painting or modelling without purpose or plan. 
• Wearing your cosiest clothes all day. 
• Making a pot of soup and homemade bread. 
• Cutting flowers from your garden and arranging them. 
• Hanging at the farmers market and tasting something new. 
• Listening to music or watching an old classic movie. 
• Handwriting someone a letter. 
• Reading in bed. 
• Knitting, sewing, crocheting or stitching something. 
• Changing the linen on your bed. 
• Finding a new cheese at the local deli. 
• Sleeping in and having breakfast in bed. 
• Planting vegetables, herbs or flowers. 
• Baking biscuits or cupcakes.

Getting the idea now? Slow and steady, deeply enjoyable, filled with sensorial joy and just what one needs when they are on an early spring break. Ah, slow living, if only all the days could be so marvellously gentle. 

ABBOTT AND COSTELLO MEET FRANKENSTEIN
Release Date: 1948
Rating: PG
Running Time: 83 mins 
If you haven't yet had the joy of seeing this cult classic, do yourself a favour and take a look. Considered the 'OG' of the horror/comedy genre, Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein is a treasure-trove of classic horror iconography and mighty fine example of old school slapstick comedy. 
Baggage clerks Chick and Wilbur are given the unfortunate job of delivering two large crates to a 'house of horrors' wax museum. Unbeknownst to them, the contents of the crates is none other than Count Dracula in his coffin and Frankenstein's monster, both of whom awaken and with the help of a femme fatale named Dr. Sandra Mornay, begin to exact a devious plan. 
There are few things to really love about this film, the first is seeing Bela Lugosi as Count Dracula, Glen Strange as Frankenstein's monster, Vincent Price as the Invisible Man (keep your ear open for that one) and Lon Chaney Jnr as the Wolfman. The other thing that I really enjoyed was that they chose to make the real villain behind it all a woman, which wasn't a plot line utilised a lot back in the day, and last but not least; well how can you not love a bit of Lou Costello? With his over acting, wheezy, bumbling gestures and silly carry on, he totally steals the show. For me, this is the finest offering that Abbott and Costello have made together and it shouldn't be missed. 
FINAL SAY: I've had this brain for thirty years. It hasn't done me any good!
4 Chilli Peppers ​

I have been sharing two sessions a week of mindfulness with my fellow co-workers. These sessions run for 20 short minutes twice a week and offer the staff an opportunity to engage in a range of mindful activities, meditations and contemplations. I have loved researching and running these sessions and find the undertaking of them deeply enjoyable. As you would well know, I adore the practise of mindfulness and being able to share that passion with others has been extremely joyful for me. 
So far we have engaged in:

• Tai Chi
• Gratitude 
• Sound bath
• Clay Therapy
• The Sound of the Bell Practise
• Contemplative Drawing 
• Mind Body Spirit - candle meditation
• Energy Exchange
• Mindful Walking
• Mindful Eating
• Yoga
• The Four Stones Meditation
• Music interpretation through Art
• NSDR - No Sleep Deep Rest
• Self Worth Meditation
• Slow Art 
• Qigong
• Becoming Whole Meditation
• Colour and Chakra Therapy
• Self Belief and Self Talk Contemplation

Through creating these two small sessions each week, I have really dug down, exploring the possibilities and the opportunities to engage in mindfulness in meaningful ways that are not only accessible for the complete novice, but also interesting and entertaining as well. Some sessions have generated up to 14 staff members, others only 3 or 4, but in all honesty the numbers of attendance are neither here nor there to me, it's that fact that I get to share a practise with others that I am genuinely invested in and completely believe in. 
Mindfulness does work, and better yet, it's not a religion or a fad or a doctrine, it's just a way of being and it does deliver profound and long lasting results. Anyone can do it and anyone can benefit from incorporating more mindfulness into their lives. I wish that delivering mindfulness sessions could become my full time job - is there such as a thing as a mindfulness consultant? I must look into that, I would just love to help others to find their bliss every single day - what a marvellous and meaningful job that would be! 

​PINK FLOYD - THE WALL
Release Date: 1982
Rating: R 18+
Running Time: 95 mins 
A mixture of live action visuals speckled with various styles of animation, Pink Floyd - The Wall delivers an assault to the senses with its extraordinary surrealist soundtrack and controversial and political storyline. The movie delves head first into some emotionally and challenging territory by exploring themes of rejection, depression, oppression and exploitation, in startling and creative ways.
Rock star Pink is driven to madness by the pressures of his stardom and the traumatic events of his life. In order to survive he constructs an emotional and mental wall around himself, which leaves him numb and seeking escape. 
Pink Floyd - The Wall  is truly timeless, I've seen it at least once every decade since I was 15 and every time that I see it, I experience the material in a new way, and I can assure you that the message that it delivers is no less affecting now than it was in the '80s.
A very young Bob Geldof plays Pink with a convincing level of mania and the entire experience is unforgettably affecting and also disturbing in the most psychedelic ways; it's a definite must see movie experience that you won't forget in a hurry. 
FINAL SAY: I have become comfortably numb. 
4 Chilli Peppers

This week I have been mindfully contemplating the concept of worth.
In a world that often measures success and personal worth based on material wealth or external accomplishments, it’s easy to forget our intrinsic value. However, it is important to remember that our worth goes far beyond our accomplishments or material possessions. And we must work hard to remember that we all matter and we all have great worth, and not because of what we do or what we have, but simply because we exist.
Your presence in this world is a gift, and your unique contributions enrich the lives of those around you in ways you may not realize. Take a moment to consider the impact you have on others — the smile you give, the comfort you provide, and the kindness you share. Your presence has certainly left an indelible mark in the hearts of those who know you, and there are many people who will be very happy to hear your news, laugh along with you, and enjoy your warmth.
It’s easy to underestimate our self-worth, especially in a society that often fosters self-doubt and self-comparison. However, it is important to recognize our inherent goodness and accept our worthiness without reservation. You are inherently entitled to love, happiness, and fulfilment, simply for being human. 
As the famous philosopher, Marcus Aurelius once said, “Do you know how many perfect moments unfold before your eyes? Do you know how many you have had? Do you know how many peaceful quiet nights you have experienced, how many hearts have loved you, how many people want to see your name pop up on their phones right now? Do you know how important you are? Do you know how good you are?”
These words remind us of the importance of our existence and the beauty that surrounds us every day. And never forget that your worth has not diminished, reduced or changed since the day that you arrived here on Earth and took your very first breath as a newborn baby.  And right here, right now, you are enough, just as you are, and the world is so much brighter because you are in it. You're priceless and don't you ever forget your worth and exceptional value. 

LEO
Release Date: 2023
Rating: G
Running Time: 102 mins 
An animated musical comedy directed by Robert Marianetti, Robert Smigel and David Wachtenheim and produced by Happy Madison Productions. This unexpectedly heart-warming and enjoyable children's film speaks volumes about a child's need for a reliable soundboard in their life and the power of a class pet.
Leo the lizard has been stuck in the same school and the same reptile enclosure with Squirtle the turtle for a very long time. So long that he has only just realised that his time may be up very soon. Determined to experience a full life, Leo sets out to explore the world at large and invertedly becomes a class guidance counsellor when he discovers that the children in the class can hear him when he speaks. 
Leo is a really funny movie, I laughed out loud several times and since I work in a school myself, I thought that material was actually relatable and quite accurate. Adam Sandler and Bill Burr do a terrific job of voicing Leo and Squirtle and the entire movie delivers with a sweet charm that I highly recommend. Leo may well be the hidden gem of kids movies for 2023. 
FINAL SAY: Enjoy not knowing everything. Enjoy being a kid. 
4 Chilli Peppers ​

The definition of ‘being whole’ means being ‘complete in and of itself’. Therefore, you can feel whole without being dependent on someone else to fill in any missing parts of yourself. The words 'you feel complete' can rustle up a lot of mixed feelings for people, because I find that in general, many people rarely, if ever, actually feel complete. 
From early on in our lives, we are taught that other people influence our wholeness and that people’s opinions and expectations of us are very important. This kind of conditioning takes seed and roots down deeply within us, building in our conscious and unconscious minds and allowing us to form unhealthy relationships with our sense of self and our ability to feel whole as we are. 
Many of us will spend our days trying so hard to be perfect that we may even begin to don social masks or perform in certain ways to try and please others, and in the process we may actually lose some sense of ourselves and move further and further away from being our whole true selves.
So what does being whole actually mean if it doesn’t depend on anyone else? 
Being whole means to be ourselves and to believe in oneself. You don’t feel the need to change everything about yourself or hide your passions or your truths to fit in. You don’t believe that you are too full of problems to be loved and instead realise that no one is perfect. In its rawest form, being whole is means being at peace and comfort with who you are at all times. 
The biggest factor in being whole is being healthy. Not just physically healthy, but mentally and spiritually as well. Lots of people incorrectly confuse physical health with wholeness, but this is only one slice of a very large pie of wholeness. If we are lacking in spirituality, or have poor mental health due to anxiety or stress, we will struggle with being or feeling whole. This is why some people, in spite of having very good physical health and financial wealth will still struggle to feel whole. 
Anger, worries, and fears that we hold on to are things that cause us to lose some of our wholeness. With everything we try to carry and every hidden burden we bear, we have to drop a part of ourselves in order to carry it. Every time we compromise a part of ourselves to compensate for our challenging feelings, we lose a piece of our wholeness. Doing this time and time again, over many years, will lead to a massive deficit in our sense of self and our ability to feel whole. 
This is why I often remind people of the importance of meditation. It allows you to look into yourself, and find what you are missing to make yourself whole. You can focus on positive thoughts and put down some of your stresses and worries. It has been the number one best thing that I have taken up to improve my overall wellness and increase my ability to feel whole and I cannot imagine my life without meditation now. 
And contrary to what people think, you do not need to be sitting crossed legged on a cushion chanting 'OM' to be meditating. Meditation can also be:

• Mindful Practises like art therapy or breathe work
• Counting mala beads
• Listening to gongs or sound bowls or having sound baths
• Moon or star gazing
• Eating in meditation
• Fire, flame or smoke watching
• Movement like qigong, tai chi, yoga, gardening and walking.
• ​Mantra chanting
• Water or bath relaxation 
• 5 sense visualisations 
• Contemplations 
• Mindful colouring in

Try some methods for yourself, see if any of these options allow you to get back to a sense of wholeness or inner wellness. Remember that wholeness is a mind, body and spirit practise, and undoing years of programming takes time, so go gently with yourself, try not to have any expectations and most of all - enjoy the journey. I hope that you can find your way home and back to a better sense of wholeness within yourself through the practise of meditation. 

THE IRON CLAW
Release Date: 2024 
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 132 mins 
A biographical sports drama film, written and directed by Sean Durkin about the Von Erich's, a family of famous professional wrestlers who appear to be constantly cursed with family troubles and tragedy. With an all star ensemble cast, this tale of family loyalty and parental pressure delivers an emotional and affecting punch that will leave you reaching for the tissue box. 
It's the early 80's and now retired professional wrestler Fritz Von Erich, known for his 'Iron Claw' wrestling move, has married and had five sons. One son died as a child and the other four are constantly groomed and pressured as they grow up to become the next Heavy Weight Wrestling Champion of America, a dream of their fathers that he has now instilled into them. His passion for success drives his entire family not only to push themselves as far as they can go, but beyond and into tragedy.
Essentially this isn't just a tale of tragedy, it is a tale about a corrosive father that systematically destroys his family from the inside out, and at times it is genuinely hard to watch. The cast deliver perfectly, with the fours sons played convincingly by Zac Efron, Jeremy Allen White, Harris Dickinson and Stanley Simons. Holt McCallany is tremendous as their overbearing father and Maura Tierney rounds out the cast nicely as the emotionally distant matriarch Doris Von Erich. 
Touching and profoundly disturbing in equal measure, The Iron Claw will make you weepy with its dire and drastic outcomes. 
FINAL SAY: Ever since I was a child, people said my family was cursed. 
3.5 Chilli Peppers ​

I have really been trying to be mindful and fully engaged with every aspect of my life at the moment. Whether it's work, rest or play, I'm giving it 100% (or as near to that as I can muster) as often as I can. And I have to say that it really does have so many advantages. Mindfulness is not just a fad or a trend, it actually works and if you can master it, the results are super impressive.
The first and most obvious of those results is a bit of no brainer, but it turns out that when you give 100% effort and attention to any task, you tend to get excellent results. No shit Sherlock! But really, it has made me realise that I did spend so much time flitting about between tasks that I was really just doing a lot of things half arsed and also robbing myself of better results. Pretty much everything that I am doing seems to be turning out better than it did when I was trying to multi-task everything. By just doing one thing at a time to the absolute best of my ability I have, in the long run, actually saved myself time and effort because nothing needs to be re-done, re-visited or re-designed, it is great the first time around! Amazing!
Also, and I don't quite know why this is, but time seems to move slower if you are mindfully aware of what you are doing. You know the old saying - a watched pot never boils, well that's kind of what happens when you are mindful of the moment, by giving something 100% of your attention it sort of makes it feel like it is going for a lot longer than it actually is.  The hours really feel like hours, not minutes because you are observing every part of it. Every meal is special, every conversation is filled with meaning and every exchange has purpose. Start thinking like that and nothing will ever feel ordinary or pointless. 
And it shouldn't because (and this my favourite thing about mindfulness) nothing is meaningless, well at least it isn't if you are mindful about about it. Every minute becomes filled with possibility and potential, not one moment is wasted. Everything in your life is purposeful and intentional and suddenly, that makes everything very bloody awesome. 
I can't really explain it, but mindfulness has changed my life massively. So much so that I have been doing mindfulness sessions at work for my colleagues because I am absolutely blown away by how much I have gained from doing mindful practises and being more present in my daily activities. I seem to have so much more time on my hands, so why not share what I found with other people? Seems like a logical outcome to me. Now, I don't know if these sessions are doing anything for anyone else (I  hope they are) but I am really enjoying just doing them anyway, so that feels like a win. And people's attendance is voluntary so it's not like I'm forcing anyone to come along, I am just offering - nothing more, nothing less. I prepare a session, I trial the session on myself and then I share the session; feels kind of lovely really. 
Anyway, I am loving what mindfulness has done for me. It has changed my habits, made me more present in my relationships and friendships, helped me find joy in the mundane and given me pause to smell the flowers, share a cuppa and exchange a kind word with more people; and that is all gravy to me. 

ALL OF US STRANGERS 
Release Date: 2023
Rating: R 18+
Running Time: 105 mins 
A fantasy love film written and directed by Andrew Haigh and based on the 1987 novel Strangers by Taichi Yamada. With a kick arse 80's soundtrack and a tale to tug at your heartstrings, All Of Us Strangers delivers a unique, magical and deeply ponderous love story. 
Screenwriter Andrew lives a lonely life in his high rise London apartment, that is until he meets Harry, his drunken neighbour who sets in motion a collision course of love, self- discovery and impossibilities that will change Andrew forever. 
This is a haunting script that explores the ghosts of the past, the present and the future. It is beautifully carried by Andrew Scott and Paul Mescal who both shine brightly in this dazzlingly and unforgettably romantic tale that will certainly bring a tear to your eye.
FINAL SAY: The power of love. 
3.5 Chilli Peppers ​

Because I have a movie blog, people often ask me how many movies I watch in a year. And I usually just say - a lot. Spicywatch.com only reflects my top 1,000-ish movies, but I have to wade through a lot of movies to find titles that I believe to be 3 Chilli Peppers or more. And when I say a lot, I mean a lot. On any given year I can watch anywhere from 250 to 500 films, depending on what else is going on for me and also the quality of television programs on offer that year. Some years I watch more television than movies, and some years it is the other way around. And I also like to read quite a lot of books and listen to music as much as I can as well, so I often find that I am torn between my media passions. 
However, cinema is my first passion and will always hold a special place in my heart and that is why Spicywatch.com is primarily all about movies and not television programs or books or music, even though I do regularly offer my opinion on all of those things well.
​All together, over the course of my lifetime I estimate that I have watched around 10,000 movies, and that is only counting from 15 year of age because before then I know that media was a lot less accessible than it is now, and we never had a VHS tape player until I was 12 years old, so I've not counted my first 15 years of viewing; even though I know that I was already well and truly cinema obsessed by the time I was 10 years old. But, if we calculate say 300 films a year, as an average for 35 years, we land on 10,500 and I think that I sit around there somewhere. 
So, if I have only reviewed around 1,000 worthy cinema choices on Spicywatch.com, then we can safely assume that I have only really enjoy around 10% of the movies that I have ever watched, and I think that is probably a fair statement, not just for me but also for many other people. One in ten films is a stand out and the rest are either so-so or stinkers. I don't review mediocre, and I certainly don't want to review hall of shame offerings, because cinema is like art for me. It's subjective and open to interpretation, and if someone went to the trouble of making it into a movie, then someone really loved it, and who the hell am I to shit all over that? No-one, I'm nothing more than a lady who likes movies and my opinion is no more valuable than yours or anyone else's. 
So, it really doesn't matter how many films I have seen, it's kind of irrelevant really. What I can say for sure however, is that in order to get through around 300 odd movies a year you need to be a bit of a night stalker. And I do love a late night movie marathon! 

LATE NIGHT WITH THE DEVIL
Release Date: 2024
Rating: R 18+
Running Time: 93 mins 
A supernatural horror; written, directed and edited by Colin and Cameron Cairnes that uniquely uses elements of documentary filmmaking to deliver a found footage energy to a wickedly fresh script, and the result is just mesmerising. 
It's 1977 and Night Owls, a variety talk show hosted by Jack Delroy is having a special occult themed Halloween episode.  Special guests include a self proclaimed psychic, a sceptical former magician, a parapsychologist and a 13 year old girl called Lilly who is reportedly possessed by a demonic spirit. What could possibly go wrong? 
This is a delightfully twisted offering, cleverly hinging on 1970's America and its obsession with late night talk shows and all things occult related. David Dastmalchian is just exceptional, and perfectly cast  as talk show host Jack Delroy; and with a strong supporting cast bringing all of the cheesy banter and silly antics of talk show TV to life perfectly, Late Night with the Devil delivers on all fronts. A must see for horror lovers looking for something different. 
FINAL SAY: We met amongst the tall trees...remember? 
4 Chilli Peppers ​

I returned to work this week after an eight week break, the longest personal break that I have ever had and also the most enriching one for me since the leave that I took to have my own children, which although yes, was very enriching; also proved to be quite overwhelming, exhausting and tiring. This leave however left me with none of those feelings, and I returned to work feeling fully reinvigorated and ready to take on the challenges once again. 
What I was not expecting was to feel such a huge sense of overwhelm from the reception that I got when I did return to work, and not in a bad way. The exact opposite actually, for I was welcomed back with the most enormous and genuine hugs and smiles, and the kindest words of welcome and affirmation that I have ever experienced in my life. Many of the students rushed to hug me, many throwing their arms around me and telling me how much they had missed me, and this touched me so very deeply and moved me so much. I felt like I was coming home to my workplace, and gosh - how special is that? How many people can actually say that they felt welcomed back in such a genuine and loving way when they return to work after a lengthy period of long service leave? It was astonishing and remarkable and wonderful all at once.
And that was when I really became acutely aware that I am part of an inclusive and caring community within my workplace. That I have made connections with the people within my workplace that go beyond that of the everyday, humdrum, daily work-life grind; that I in fact have relationships with many, many people; probably more than I had even considered, and that my presence (or lack there of) had not only been noticed, but people were actually glad to see that I had returned. Incredible! And I tell you, it is unexpectedly delightful and deeply affecting to realise that you belong somewhere that you are employed to go to.  This is a new experience for me, a really lovely one. 
So, needless to say, the week went along splendidly, with many joys and reunions. Lots of catching up on things, lots of hearing all about the things that I have missed, but also lots of shared laughs and joys, that perhaps you can only really experience when you are in school setting and surrounded my hundreds of people everyday. With so many people around you daily, it is never hard to find a happy story, a funny experience or a genuine tale of interest to share that not only brightens your day, but gives you purpose and reason to be where you are and doing what you do. 
The weekend was also lovely with time shared with friends and excellent company. I got to meditate with the delightful sangha group, catch up with Helen at White Night, visit the Book Swap with Seth and even indulge in a little cinema to pass the time. It couldn't have been a more perfect week for a first week back at work, but now I am already starting to miss my Freja baby like crazy again! Gotta squeeze some Bibi time in soon! 

FURIOSA: A MAD MAX SAGA
Release Date: 2024
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 158 mins 
The fifth instalment in the Mad Max franchise that is neither the best offering nor the worst. Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga does however offer another post-apocalyptic adventure into the violent and ruthless wastelands of Australia. And although I didn't enjoy it quite as much as Mad Max: Fury Road, I did think that it was another fun, high-speed action offering that is worthy of your time. 
Lead by the Warlord Dementus, a biker horde stumble across a young girl named Furiosa whilst they are looting 'The Green Place' (one of the last remaining areas in the wastelands that is still abundant with water and agriculture). Eager to please their leader, the bikers steal Furiosa and take her to Dementus who claims her as his daughter; but only after he brutally murders her mother in front of her. As Furiosa grows, she establishes an esteemed foot-hold within the Citadel walls of Immortan Joe, vowing to one day return to The Green Place and strike revenge on Dementus. 
You don't go and see a George Miller 'Mad Max' movie because you are looking for a sophisticated slice of civilised cinema, you go for the high octane, uber violent, gasoline guzzling, apocalyptic carry on; and on that front there is plenty to like about this film. One certainly cannot deny that Anya Taylor-Joy and Chris Hemsworth are brilliant as Furiosa and Dementus, carrying the story to much greater heights with their combined efforts.
So, if you are looking for a couple of hours of action that has tonnes of sand, loads of violence, some souped up rigs and a couple of  unforgettably evil super villains, then you will love what Furiosa is delivering. 
FINAL SAY: Where are you going, so full of hope? There is no hope!
3 Chilli Peppers ​

Hitting my stride at the end of my now five week long respite and I can tell you, I could get used to this! Craig has been with me for the last two weeks and we have been living our very best lives every day with frequent visits to Bendigo to hang out with Freja and frequent trips to the couch to watch movies and relax in the middle of the day; it has been so restful and so rejuvenating. And it's the ability to have time for everything that is one of the most joyful aspects; the sheer uninterrupted and unconditioned time allowance that you can only get when you aren't worrying about or thinking about work. Time to be with people mindfully and completely, the time to spend fully immersed in a passion project or finishing a chore (that doesn't even feel like a chore because you aren't trying to squeeze it in around everything else) or just meditating (for 40 minute stretches) or doing yoga (for an hour) or having a glass of good wine with your lunch...ahhh...the absolute delight of being off the clock and choosing your own adventure on the daily. It's unlike anything else!
This is the longest break I have ever had in my life and I feel like it has given me a very clear glimpse into my retirement years, and if my retirement is only half as good as this break has been, I cannot wait! I have never loved my life the way that I love my life right now. There is something to be said for being able to do the things that you want to do whenever you want to do them that is not only freeing but also completely limitless in possibility. And in only a decade or so this could be my life everyday. Sharing time, indulging in my passions and choosing my adventures on the daily. The retired life sure is appealing but I've got a lot more work and money to save before that's a reality, so that little pipedream will need to be shelved as I head into the final stretch of my break which I will be spending a big chunk of in Fiji; snorkelling, canoeing, sipping cocktails and laying on the beach. It's a tough final call but I'm up to the challenge!
Perhaps one of the best things that this break has offered to me is some pause to take stock. Time to consider where I am at, what I already have and everything that I am grateful for. And there is plenty in my life to be grateful for. In Sweden they say that people run too fast in this life, so they need a good long break in order for their spirit to catch up with their body. This rest time allows reflection time and it is a vital component in becoming fully aware of your life and the blessings that you have. It is a time to be mindful and fully present - mind, body and spirit in all of the aspects of your life to that point and to allow for yourself feel whole and in tune again. I can honestly say that I have spent quite a bit of time contemplating my life and the blessings that I have this year and the last five weeks have really given me even more to reflect on. 
Since I have turned 50 I have felt more alive, in tune and more at peace with myself than I have ever felt before. My spirit has awoken this year and I find myself fascinated in the smallest of things and in awe of almost everything. I find inspiration and joy in everyone that I share time with now, and I feel a love for my family and friends that is resolute and powerful. My relationships bolster, strengthen and improve me and the quality of my life constantly. I am made better by every moment that I share with another, this I am now 100% certain of. The pleasure that shared time has given me is immeasurable and every relationship in my life has shifted to greater heights in the last year. I am surrounded by the best kind of people that give me their love and receive my love with open arms; how could anyone want more than that in their life? 
I also feel an incredible connection to country and a huge respect for every living thing. I am awe struck daily by the sights and sounds outside of my window. I love the land that I live on, I feel connected to it and it gives me joy beyond words or expression. I only need to step outside and be in nature to be refuelled. I only need to touch the trees, see the stars, hear the birds call, smell the air and feel the strength of the earth beneath my feet to know that I am exactly where I am meant to be. The silence and the time has given me back that connection, one that I know that I have tapped in to from time to time throughout my life, but now feel  like I am not just observing, but breathing in; every, single, day. 
So perhaps the Swedish are right, and maybe this time to go slow has given my spirit time to catch up with me. Whatever is happening, I do feel like this is all bringing me closer and closer to being the person that I have always wanted to be. A person who gives and receives love in equal measure, a person who delights in the joys of others as much as they do for themselves and a person who has nothing to prove because they are content to just be. One day, I hope to be that person but for now, I am also more than happy to be exactly where I am, in a state of best living. 

RYE LANE
Release Date: 2023
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 82 mins 
A romantic comedy, set in South London and directed by Raine Allen-Miller in her feature directorial debut. Rye Lane is an exceedingly enjoyable watch with terrific and likeable characters, a plausible storyline and an original style that makes it a fresh rom-com offering. 
Yas and Dom meet in a gender neutral toilet at a mutual friend's art exhibition. Having both recently broken up with their partners, they discover that they have a lot in common and unpack their experiences as they traverse the city together. 
At just over 80 minutes run time, Rye Lane is short, sweet and to the point, leaping in head first with fresh and witty dialogue and a youthful energy that is utterly infectious. The backdrop of South London is showcased in artistic and interesting ways, the soundtrack is fabulous and the two characters of Yas and Dom are delivered perfectly by newcomers Vivian Oparah and David Jonsson; easily making this the best romance movie of 2023. 
FINAL SAY: Peng? Refreshingly disarming?
4 Chilli Peppers ​

I remember Craig coming home from a Christmas party one night a few years ago, he was up to his eyeballs in alcohol and was, for want of a better word, utterly 'pissed.' He was so full of beer that he needed me to pull over so that he could pee on the side of the road on the way home to Enfield, which was only a 25 minute drive, but he just couldn't hold it in. As he was peeing on a tree in a tucked away corner he had the sudden realisation that he was just about to commence a four week holiday break, and he also had a big wad of cash in his pocket that was his annual Christmas bonus. He proceeded to call out as loudly as his lungs would allow (to no-one in particular - maybe some cows in the paddock) "I am living the dream!' He yelled it over and over again, all the way home in the car and to the kids when he stumbled drunkenly in the door. And I remember thinking, geez calm down dude, it's the Christmas holidays, it's not that big of a deal!
And I never really understood just how golden that feeling must've been for Craig at that moment, but I think that presently, I actually do. I am actually starting to understand what Craig was feeling that night that I drove him home with a skin full; he was feeling freedom and release, and joy - pure, pure joy. And I reckon that I have got that very same feeling inside of me at the moment (minus the beer and the Christmas bonus), the feeling of freedom and pure joy and it feels pretty amazing!
I may not be shouting it out to the cows in the paddock as I piss against a tree, but I do feel an overwhelming sense of joy in my life right now. I am, in Craig's words, literally living the dream. I am just about to end my two week school holiday break, which was without a doubt one of the busiest, most wonderful and deeply rewarding school holiday breaks that I have ever had in my life. And I am just about to commence six heavenly weeks of long serve leave, that includes a week in Fiji on a gorgeous stretch of private island with a personal chef and free cocktails - so yep, I get it now, just like Craig, "I am living the dream!" 
And, to be honest, I have been living the dream since my 50th birthday way back in March with more daily celebration than a champagne cellar! Seth and I did the Dahlia flower arranging workshop and lunch extravaganza (which was just beautiful), I had a full day of Mindfulness in Daylesford with the Buddhist community out there, I visited the Bendigo Stupa for their Enlighten event, I had Easter with my darling family (Freja came to Enfield - woo-hoo), I had a movie night and drinks with a dear friend and then afternoon tea with another; I went to Melbourne to see Groundhog Day with lovely Helen, had brunch with another friend, got to babysit Freja with Craig for a night, had another amazing Sangha, went to Sorrento and did an incredible French Cookery Class (Bon Appetit) with a bloody legend of a friend, went to the spa with another gorgeous friend, had my hair done and even got to spend time with Freja and Zoe in Bendigo every mid-week since I've been on break - just because I could - and it's been delightful! Tomorrow night is April Spicywatch movie night, which has been running successfully once a month this year and in a couple of days I will take my mother on a road trip to Bendigo for the day. Yes, yes, yes, I am living the dream and I have 6 more week of joy ahead of me as well. It feels like all of the flowers in my life have bloomed at once and I feel so very blessed and extremely fortunate.
​And I am sharing time; sharing precious, joyful time with so many beautiful and caring and wonderful people. My heart is full of smiles and warmth. I am grateful beyond words. This must be what it feels like to be living the dream. I get it, I am living the dream - 100% and I just don't want to wake up!

DREAM SCENARIO 
Release Date: 2023
Rating: R 18+
Running Time: 102 mins 
An American fantasy-comedy film written and directed by Kristoffer Borgli that delivers something that is so bizarre, so funny and yet so disturbing in equal measure, and yet it still works completely as well. Nicholas Cage again delivers all of the talent that everyone knows that he has but for perplexing reasons does not always deliver upon; and here he shines brightly and carries the entire film to new levels of humour and discomfort in ways that only Nicholas Cage could. 
Paul is a mild manner biology professor that no-one really pays much attention to, that is until he starts to turn up in people's dreams. Paul is rocketed into fame by his ability to be 'inside' everyone's head, but when dreams turn into nightmares, people start to see Paul in a whole new way. 
There is something deeply sinister about the storyline in Dream Scenario as it unfolds, leaving the viewer, just like the main protagonist, reeling at the fickle changes of desirable pop culture and the swift retribution of cancel culture. It's certainly a surreal journey into the possibilities of futuristic dream intervention; which in itself is a frighteningly possible scenario to imagine. 
FINAL SAY: Trauma is trending these days.
3.5 Chilli Peppers ​

Another whirlwind month passes me by, and boy what a month it has been! I kicked off my birthday long weekend in style with a trip to the movies to see Dune Part 2 in Gold Class and then followed it up the next evening with a New Moon women's circle and sound bath session. Went to the Begonia festival, out for lunch and to the theatre with my mum the day before my birthday and then on my actual birthday I was spoilt rotten by my loving family and generous friends who showered with both attention and affection in buckets.
I had breakfast made for me, a gigantic flashy chocolate fudge cake and Thai food from my favourite Thai restaurant in Ballarat. And the gifts! Holy cow was I spoilt! So many generous offerings and lots of wonderful follow up adventures to be had as well that were gifted to me. Craig got me a Fitbit and my favourite French perfume, Seth got me a Dahlia flower arranging class and lunch - just for the two of us, Zoe got me a pass to the spa for a sauna, soak and a massage at Sanctuary Day Spa, Helen got me tickets to see Groundhog Day at the theatre in Melbourne in April and Michelle got me a French cooking Class in Sorrento that she is taking me to in April as well. Winning!
On top of that I went out to Drag Bingo with my work team, for a night of too many cocktails and so many belly laughs. Around 25 people came out to celebrate my 50th from work, which was just incredible; it was an amazing night! Georgia took me out for a Japanese dinner and wants to take me to Melbourne for a night out down the track and I also received a number of very kind messages and lovely gifts from many other people that share their time and energy with me. It was stunningly overwhelming, emotional and deeply moving for me. Turns out that turning 50 is not a bad thing at all, its a bloody awesome thing! And this year is shaping up to get better and better as it goes along. 
You would think that I couldn't top becoming a Bibi and turning 50, and yeah okay, maybe I can't actually top those things, but more joy is definitely coming! I start my long service leave in a few weeks and will be having a couple of months off work which is awesome on its own, but Craig and I have also decided to get away together for a break and we are heading to Fiji for a holiday in May. An overseas holiday - oh joy - it has been 5 years since Craig and I have travelled overseas together so we are really looking forward to this get away. And the extra time off is going to give me so much more time with Zoe, Ben and Freja as well. The distance between us has been really challenging since Freja arrived in the world and I am looking forward to having more quality time with my now extended family over the next couple of months - I just cannot wait! So yes! Life is beautiful and filled with joy and bursting with opportunity and good fortune, and I am so grateful for everything that I am experiencing. 
Oh, and let's not forget that the Oscar's also happened the day after my birthday this year as well, which just happened to be a public holiday so Helen and I hit the couch with some bubbles and a giant wedge of cheese to take it all in.
And just in case you missed it, here are the (not at all surprising) results:
OSCARS 2024 FULL LIST
Best picture
American Fiction
Anatomy of a Fall
Barbie
The Holdovers
Killers of the Flower Moon
Maestro
Oppenheimer – WINNER
Past Lives
Poor Things
The Zone of Interest

Best actor in a leading role
Bradley Cooper – Maestro
Colman Domingo – Rustin
Paul Giamatti – The Holdovers
Cillian Murphy – Oppenheimer – WINNER
Jeffrey Wright – American Fiction

Best actor in a supporting role
Sterling K Brown – American Fiction
Robert De Niro – Killers of the Flower Moon
Robert Downey Jr – Oppenheimer – WINNER
Ryan Gosling – Barbie
Mark Ruffalo – Poor Things

Best actress in a leading role
Annette Bening – Nyad
Lily Gladstone – Killers of the Flower Moon
Sandra Hüller – Anatomy of a Fall
Carey Mulligan – Maestro
Emma Stone – Poor Things – WINNER

Best actress in a supporting role
Emily Blunt – Oppenheimer
Danielle Brooks – The Color Purple
America Ferrera – Barbie
Jodie Foster – Nyad
Da’Vine Joy Randolph – The Holdovers – WINNER

Best directing
Anatomy of a Fall – Justine Triet
Killers of the Flower Moon – Martin Scorsese
Oppenheimer – Christopher Nolan – WINNER
Poor Things – Yorgos Lanthimos
The Zone of Interest – Jonathan Glazer

Best animated feature film
The Boy and the Heron – WINNER
Elemental
Nimona
Robot Dreams
Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse

Best adapted screenplay
American Fiction – WINNER
Barbie
Oppenheimer
Poor Things
The Zone of Interest

Best original screenplay
Anatomy of a Fall – WINNER
The Holdovers
Maestro
May December
Past Lives

Best cinematography
El Conde
Killers of the Flower Moon
Maestro
Oppenheimer- WINNER
Poor Things

Best costume design
Barbie
Killers of the Flower Moon
Napoleon
Oppenheimer
Poor Things – WINNER

Best documentary feature film
Bobi Wine: The People’s President
The Eternal Memory
Four Daughters
To Kill a Tiger
20 Days in Mariupol – WINNER

Best documentary short film
The ABCs of Book Banning
The Barber of Little Rock
Island in Between
The Last Repair Shop – WINNER
Nǎi Nai & Wài Pó

Best film editing
Anatomy of a Fall
The Holdovers
Killers of the Flower Moon
Oppenheimer – WINNER
Poor Things

Best international feature film
Io Capitano
Perfect Days
Society of the Snow
The Teachers’ Lounge
The Zone of Interest – WINNER

Best makeup and hairstyling
Golda
Maestro
Oppenheimer
Poor Things – WINNER
Society of the Snow

Best original score
American Fiction
Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny
Killers of the Flower Moon
Oppenheimer – WINNER
Poor Things

Best original song
The Fire Inside – Flamin’ Hot
I’m Just Ken – Barbie
It Never Went Away – American Symphony
Wahzhazhe (A Song for My People) – Killers of the Flower Moon
What Was I Made For? – Barbie – WINNER

Best production design
Barbie
Killers of the Flower Moon
Napoleon
Oppenheimer
Poor Things – WINNER

Best animated short film
Letter to a Pig
Ninety-Five Senses
Our Uniform
Pachyderme
WAR IS OVER! Inspired by the Music of John & Yoko – WINNER

Best live action short film
The After
Invincible
Knight of Fortune
Red, White and Blue
The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar – WINNER

Best sound
The Creator
Maestro
Mission: Impossible – Dead Reckoning Part One
Oppenheimer
The Zone of Interest – WINNER

Best visual effects
The Creator
Godzilla Minus One – WINNER
Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 3
Mission: Impossible – Dead Reckoning Part One
Napoleon

KILLERS OF THE FLOWER MOON
Release Date: 2023
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 206 mins 
An American western and also a crime drama, directed and produced by Martin Scorsese, who co-wrote the script with Eli Roth. Based on the book of the same name by David Grann, Killers of the Flower Moon is not just a movie, it an epic, with an all star ensemble cast and enough corruption and intrigue to keep viewers riveted for the almost three and half hour run time. 
In Oklahoma in the 1920's, a series of grisly deaths continues to befall the Osage Nation People that have a strong hold on the land; due to striking oil. Behind these murders is the land grabbing and influential cattle rancher William King Hale, who will even use his own kin (and any other means available) to take down the Osage members from the inside so that the land inheritances eventually fall into his own family's hands. 
This is a sad story, peppered with the worst kinds of people doing the worst kinds of things. The Osage Nation are represented beautifully, with the main focus firmly placed on Molly Burkhart, a headstrong Osage whose family owns oil headrights. She is portrayed perfectly by newcomer Lily Gladstone and she is extremely well supported by Leonardo DiCaprio as her conniving husband Ernest and Robert De Niro as the awful uncle William Hale. 
Parts of this film are really hard to watch; seeing gentle people being swindled and manipulated continuously is not at all joyful, however the strength, dignity and spirituality of the Osage shines through at every facet  of this movie, and overall, Killers of the Flower Moon delivers something reflective, noteworthy and valuable. A must see epic that deserved all of the accolades and attentions that it garnered. 
​FINAL SAY: Can you find the wolves in this picture?
4 Chilli Peppers ​

Where is the time going? I am head spinning trying to understand how we have already landed in March, I seriously have no idea how I have already travelled this far into 2024 and now find myself on the doorstep of another Easter in only a few short weeks time. Okay, I do have to admit that I have been wrapped in a bubble of baby bliss since I became a grandmother and have been spending a lot of time travelling between Bendigo and Enfield in the pursuit of cuddles and sacred 'Bibi' time, but March already- wow! I mean February just seems to have evaporated into the ether and it has already been around three weeks since my last blog post, and there I was thinking that it had only been about a fortnight when I logged on today. 
It is true, that time waits for no-one and if you don't stop and look around once and while, you really can just miss it completely (Thanks for the reminder Ferris!). However, even though time time does appear to be moving on fast forward, I have been joyfully passing the time and mindfully embracing all of the new experiences that have arrived in my life this year, which have given me pause for thought and room to grow in so many unexpected and wonderful ways. 
Obviously becoming a Bibi (nanna) has been a deeply transformative and rewarding experience for me, well not only for me but for the whole family really. Craig and I have rekindled a love for each other and our blossoming tribe through this new shared experience. We are just loving the unfurling of emotions and opportunities that have arisen from Freja arriving into our lives. She has allowed us to re-experience all of the newness of parenthood along side of Zoe and Ben, and she has cultivated a fresh expression of love for us that is so profoundly deep and nurturing that it often moves me emotionally in ways that I did not foresee. In short, its been a delight and an absolute privilege to become a grandparent and I am excited to travel this new road ahead with Zoe, Ben and Freja. 
I have also joined a local sangha this year which meets once a month and I am loving the experience of a collective meditation group very much. They practise the Plum Village teachings of mindfulness under the guidance of Thich Nhat Hanh, a monastic spiritual leader and peace activist who is revered for pioneering mindfulness, global ethics and spiritual peace. You don't need to become a Buddhist devotee to join, you just need to be a peaceful soul looking for like minded meditation and mindfulness practise, which is very much where I am at presently. We meet every month for sitting meditation, walking meditation, dharma sharing, song and a shared lunch. Yesterday we met in Daylesford, and it was my third sangha for the year and I can honestly say that I enjoy it more and more every time that I attend.  The people that attend these sangha's are truly welcoming, peaceful, gentle souls and I always leave feeling like I have a renewed sense of self and purpose after each session. 
I have also been attending regular sound baths with a new friend that I made this year, I have started a monthly 'Spicywatch' movie night with friends which meets in Enfield for a premiere viewing (with a different genre each time) and I have been enjoying more social time with my work friends in the shape of trivia nights at a local pub, and we have even enjoyed two third places so far!
I certainly feel like the heavy weight of last year has been lifted from me now and that I have gained a new sense of purpose and joy in my life. I even got rid of my bathroom scales and have stopped tracking everything that I eat and weighing myself continuously  because I realised how unhappy these activities were making me and how fixated I was becoming a number rather than a way of being. I am starting to enjoy my body for what it is and I am accepting that although my pursuits for weight loss may have been well intended, they were just adding to me always feeling like a failure and never allowing myself to fully like who I am. My size is not indicative of my wellness or my ability to be vital and healthy; I am in fact very healthy, extremely happy and flourishing in all areas of my life and this means far more to me than the number on a scale. 
I even tweaked my diet, removed some trigger foods and drinks and added some appropriate herbal supplements to my diet and have managed to completely combat my menopausal symptoms in natural and non-invasive ways. I no longer have night sweats or drastic mood swings and I feel very in control of myself. In fact, I have not felt better than I feel right now in years! My wellness is now my priority 100% of the time, and it has nothing to do with my weight, but it has everything to do with how I feel and function from day to day in my mind, my body and my spirit. So sure, the time may be racing ahead, but right now, I feel like I am running along of side it with a spring in my step and a song in my heart, and who could ask for more than that? 

THE BOY, THE MOLE, THE FOX AND THE HORSE
Release Date: 2022
Rating: G
Running Time: 34 mins 
A short, animated adventure that is based on the illustrated book  of the same name by Charlie Mackesy, The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse delivers an emotional and poignant tale about self discovery and the meaning of life. Released by Apple+ streaming, this Academy Award winning short has a strong message that is most definitely not exclusively designed for children. 
Four unlikely friends, a lost boy, a mole, a fox and a horse share their story's and experiences and become tightly bonded as they try to find the lost boy's home. 
Author Mackesy explained that the four characters in this tale actually represent different aspects of the same person. The inquisitive and curious boy, the enthusiastic but greedy mole, the weary 'beaten down by life' fox and the wise and sagacious horse. All that I know for sure is that in 34 mins I had cried, I had smiled and I also walked away feeling like I had a genuinely spiritual experience, and for that reason, I believe this film to be an unmissable watch.
FINAL SAY: Life is difficult, but you are loved. 
4.5 Chilli Peppers ​

Beautiful little Freja Rose Jones was born at 9.09pm on the 6th of February, weighing in at 3.12 kg (6 pound 8 ounces) and measuring 50.5cms in length, her tiny presence immediately changing all of our lives forever. To say that we are smitten would be a drastic understatement, we all fell into raptures at the sight of her little body and beautiful bonny face, she is such a precious angel and a huge source of amazement.
And honestly, our Freja is nothing short of perfect and she has been thriving along for the last 5 days, demonstrating a healthy if not ravenous appetite and an ability to melt everyone's heart without even trying. Zoe and Ben also appear to have taken to parenthood like ducks to water, tag teaming like pros and ensuring that everyone gets enough rest and tap out time. They are certainly giving it their best efforts, but I didn't think that they wouldn't at any stage anyway, they've been dying for Freja to arrive and couldn't wait to get their hands on her to shower her with love and attention. 
And how quickly you remember all of the highs and lows, the joys and the challenges of parenthood when you look into the eyes of your grandchild. It's a strangely emotional time, with lots of big feelings and concerns as the memories of your own experiences flood back into your mind.  It's almost like you strap in right besides the new parents for a brand new ride. And you don't want to do too much or too little, and you don't want to crowd or be too impassive but you do want to know what's going on and how things are progressing every step of the way. And that's because there is someone new to love in the world now, someone that represents a new branch on your family tree and now there will be a million new experiences and opportunities for you to share your life with them. Words can't explain it really, it's just really joyful in the most intensely emotional way.
Unfortunately, I landed a bloody head cold this weekend which meant that I couldn't enjoy another Freja visit this weekend, which nearly broke my heart really, but you can't go and see a new born baby when you are under the weather, so I have to wait until I am 100% before I can some get more of those delightful baby snuggles.
What a weekend of illness did afford me was a chance to binge watch some TV and unwind, which probably wasn't a bad thing to be honest.  The return to work has stretched me greatly over the last fortnight, and I have been feeling like I have transitioned from the hammock to the frying pan in one fell swoop. And that on top of all of the new 'Bibi' feels, worry for my daughter and new grand-daughter and my ever plummeting menopausal hormones, I have been left me feeling kind of emotional and a bit vulnerable. I mean I cried for pretty much n reason at all the other day and struggled to stop myself once I got going, it was ridiculous and I felt like such a ding-a-ling. I hate it when my emotions run away from me, but I suppose that its bound to happen at this stage of my life.
Anyway, onward and upward this week as I settle down and refocus my sights to brighter, healthier and happier days ahead. And there is no denying that Elton John knew what he was doing when he wrote the beautiful song - Your Song, because dear Freja, it's true: how wonderful life is, while you're in the world. 

Don't misread that blog post heading and think that I have gone all fitness mad or anything, because I definitely have not! I have however, entered into the dreaded and controversial period of my life that is commonly known as 'menopause' but really should be called 'fresh hell for women who think they have already experienced everything.'
​So far it has been extremely hot, intensely sweaty and just generally quite gross. This recent wave of menopause has collided with the awards season, so I have been happy to sweat it out on the couch with The Globes, The Emmys and The Critic's Choice Awards which although not at all surprising when it comes to the actual winners, has provided me with some much needed distraction from the hot, flushing and ever present fevers that is my unfortunate, but clearly rapidly declining, hormonal levels. 
So far it's been all 'Sweaty Betty' and 'No Sleep Susan' and I haven't had too many other symptoms, well none that have caused me as much distress and annoyance as a lack of sleep and the constant swampy humidity of my own body. I am managing to get some incredible internal body temperatures these days, and although I haven't exactly been shoving thermometres inside of myself to check on that, I have taken to sleeping with an ice pack on my chest at night, which I believe is a fairly powerful indicator that I am burning up.
In general I am just a big old 'Clammy Sammy' and my body is behaving like I have permanently moved to Northern Thailand by generally being slick and sticky most of the time. Mmmmm, so sexy right? Clearly no, and poor Craig keeps waking up during the night dreaming that he is sunbaking on a beach, only to discover that he is just dealing with the radiant heat that is pouring off of my body during the nocturnal hours. I swear that if I could harness the energy that my body is giving out I could run the lights in our home for months. 
It is like riding a wave of internal combustion, one minute I'm a roast chook, the next I'm icy cold and all of that occurs in a mere matter of minutes. It is just crazy, and I have no idea how long this will last for either. Being a woman is such a thankless roller coaster and now that I am turning 50, hitting menopause and also on the precipice of becoming a grandmother I am starting to see why women become quite cranky at this stage of life. You turn a certain age (by the way menopause usually hits between 45-55 so women beware) and you are suddenly thrust into a fever dream of early crone-hood that is a bit debilitating and quite scary really. I hadn't even though of myself as old (well, not THAT old) and suddenly here I am - an almost 50 year old menopausal grannie! How the hell did that happen?
Only a year ago I was just a mother in her 40's and now...well, old women's business! And I wasn't prepared for old women's business and I don't even know that first thing about menopause, so this has been a true trial by fire - internally, externally, literally and metaphorically as well. Needless to say I have had to trawl the internet for information about menopause and general 'old lady' business as a consequence. And I even went to the local library to borrow books on the topic; god forbid should anyone see me at a book store buying an old lady manual like 'Everything you wanted to know about menopause but were too afraid to ask,' but I really need to educate myself somehow!
And because this has all happened so rapidly, I also needed to do the old 'self litmus' test, you know what I am talking about, when you start asking yourself the 'is this normal?' questions that you only ever worry about when your body starts doing weird shit that it wasn't doing before, like producing more heat than lava. And guess what? Turns out it is normal! So yay, but also boo as well really. 
​Anyway, the summer of 2024 will go down as the sweatiest summer of my life now, well I hope it will be because I really don't want several years of this, but according to everything that I read so far, unless you want to go on Hormone Replacement Therapy, which has a host of it's own issues and symptoms, you just have to suck it up really and go along for the ride and just calmly wait for my body to completely dry up like an old husk of its former self. And that can take anywhere from 6 months to 7 years, so yep, there could well be a few more sweaty summers ahead of me yet! Ah, the true joys of being a woman. Turns out that a vagina really is the gift that just keeps on giving! 

POOR THINGS 
Release Date: 2023
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 142 mins 
If you are looking for something completely out of the box and utterly unique then look no further, Poor Things delivers on all counts. Brilliantly fantastical, artistically designed and continually teetering on the verge of being absolutely bonkers, this latest offering from visionary director Yorgos Lanthimos is not only his best work, but for me, is one of the best movies of 2023. And after garnering lots of attention for it's salacious behaviours and just as many accolades for it's terrific performances and original story-telling, Poor Things quickly became the must see movie of the year. 
Dr. Godwin Baxter, a Frankenstein-eque surgeon, discovers the beautiful, pregnant but unfortunately dead body of a young woman by the edge of a London river. He decides to transplant the brain of her still alive but unborn baby into her adult body and re-animate her, creating 'Bella' a child-like adult in search of delicious and daring experiences. 
This is a wildly original romp into madness and hilarity with Emma Stone delivering at her best as Bella, Mark Ruffalo amusing completely as the lecherous deviant Duncan Wedderburn and Willem Dafoe bringing hideous-genius to life as Dr Godwin Baxter. However underneath all of the hilarity is a story that delivers like a modern day fairy-tale of self discovery, enlightenment and deliverance that is both playful and contemplative. 
The fantasy design and costumes are strikingly good, the details are just amazing, from start to end. I am fairly sure that this is a film that people are going to talk about for years to come, and one that is destined to become a cult classic. For me, Poor Things hits all the right notes in all the right order, and I couldn't help but applaud it and award it a Hall of Fame - 5 Chilli Peppers of greatness. 
FINAL SAY: I have adventured it and found nothing but sugar and violence. 
5 Chilli Peppers ​

Looking back across the landscape of 2023, I see that overall it was a year of massive growth for me. I did a lot more than I expected to do, faced some challenges, had some celebrations and also had some massive highlights along the way as well.
I do love to brag about my amazing yearly achievements, not because I want to rub anyone's face in them, but mostly because looking back and remembering a year completely really helps me to identify all of the joys, personal highlights and reasons to be grateful, of which I have many in my life. Just take a look over the epic year that 2023 was for me: 
JANUARY: 30 Days of Yoga with Adriene, Escape Room Adventure, Seth's 18th birthday,  Mini Spa Day, Enfield deck revamp, Seth got his license, Clunes Ghost Hunt, Seppelt Winery Tour, Halls Gap Road Trip, Chinese New Year celebrations, tuned in to the Triple j Hottest 100.
FEBRUARY:  Italian Dinner Party, Blackberry picking. 
MARCH: International Women's Day, My birthday, McQueen Exhibition, Harmony Day Intercultural Celebration, Kate Bush Tribute Show. 
APRIL: Easter Sunday with the family, April holiday break, Spa Day with Craig, Eastern European Dinner Party, Craig's birthday.
MAY: Spicywatch's 9th Birthday, Golden Plains Art Trail, Mother's Day.
JUNE: Mushrooming,  Fleetwood Mac Tribute Show, The Garden's of St. Erth, Torquay Trip, Zoe's 26th Birthday.
JULY: Winter School Holidays, The Sound of Music Theatre Show, Horror Movie night, Bishop's Palace Ghost Tour, Addams Family Theatre Show.
AUGUST: Immigration Museum, Middle Eastern Dinner Party, Borealis at Daylesford Lake, Book week dress up. 
SEPTEMBER: Amazing trip to Uluru, Father's Day, Spring School Holiday Break, Mum's 80th Birthday.
OCTOBER:  Girls Shopping Day, Photo Biennale in Ballarat, Moulin Rogue Theatre Show, Yoga at Chat for Tea, Yoga Festival in Bendigo, Halloween horror movie/ dinner night.
NOVEMBER: 29th Wedding Anniversary, Deep Blue Spa, Enfield Smoke event, Public Speaking Event, Zoe and Ben's baby Shower.
DECEMBER: Summer Holidays kicking off, Seth buys his first car, Wreath Making and Candle Decorating events, Enfield Xmas Brunch, Christmas Day with the fam, Family Smoke Event. 

There is a lot here to celebrate and appreciate that's for sure. And on top of all of that, I have also managed to squeeze in:

• Daily meditation.
• 66 books.
• Workouts - 5 times a week.
• 180 movies.
• 11,000 average steps a day.
• 160 TV series - a new record for me!
• 26 brunches/ lunches and  delicious restaurant meals with family and friends. 
• A daily French lesson on Duolingo.
• Brain Gym everyday for 10 minutes.
• A daily journal entry. 
• And....I reviewed another 38 movies on Spicywatch.com bringing the total number of reviews to more than 1,000! 

Woohoo! That's a lot of 'doing' for one year! 
And now, as 2024 gently unfurls itself before me I wonder what will arrive in the next 12 months. Probably the most exciting thing will definitely be the arrival of my grandchild! As for the rest, well only time will tell, but let's hope it's as exciting as the last year was!​

SALTBURN
Release Date: 2023 
Rating: R 18+
Running Time: 127 mins 
A psychological thriller and a black comedy; written, directed and co-produced by Emerald Fennell, Saltburn is definitely one of my favourite films of 2023. Steeped in gothic mystery, chock full of unscrupulous characters and peppered with kinky interludes, Saltburn is deeply intriguing and absolutely original in every respect. 
Oliver is struggling to fit in at Oxford University. He becomes fast friends with Felix Catton, a rich and influential student that takes Oliver under his wing and asks him to join him at his family home 'Saltburn' for the summer break. Saltburn is a sprawling estate in the British countryside, filled with strange and entitled people and offering a release and a refuge to Oliver who has shared his tragic upbringing and difficult home life situation. But nothing is at all as it seems at Saltburn. 
Sumptuously designed from the costumes and sets to the exceptionally good soundtrack, Saltburn is a true jolt to the senses. Intoxicating in every way, you just cannot look away, especially from the incredible cast that sports the likes of Barry Keoghan, Jacob Elordi, Alison Oliver, Carey Mulligan and Rosamund Pike. This film made me long for a summer holiday and envy the privilege of wealth, but most of all, it made me laugh and it made me blush, and for that I am giving this a big fat tick and a very high recommendation. Feel the burn of Saltburn for yourself!
FINAL SAY: I'm sorry my performance wasn't good enough. 
4 Chilli Peppers ​

It would be fair to say that December wasn't my favourite month of the year this year. I had a huge overhaul of my long term plans, my goals and my life choices, and although this is an extremely cathartic thing to do, particularly at the end of a year, it is a whole other thing when it is actually just thrust upon you to do so. Which is how things went for me at the end of the year. You see, I thought that I had a rather solid plan for the next eight odd years of life and then it turned out that I didn't and it was a bit of a shock to the system to be honest.
The worse part of all was that it happened when everyone else was winding down for the holidays and merry making and feeling jovial and I just wasn't feeling it at all, I just wanted to go to bed, pull the covers up over my head and sleep until Christmas and all the jolly carry on was over this year. I felt deflated, directionless, let down, devalued and to be 100% truthful, I was actually depressed as hell.
Depression does not make you very good company during the silly season, it does not make you fun and it does not make you the life of the Christmas party, it makes you hard work and it makes you a Christmas sad sack. That is what I have been, a Christmas sad sack. I've tried so hard to put on a happy face and join in as best as I can, but god it has been hard.
The food didn't taste great, the wine didn't interest me, the gifts were irrelevant and pointless and everything about the season was a slog. I have never felt so tired, drained and uninterested in Christmas in my life. I just wanted a tap out, from everyone and everything, and most of all from my sad, sad self. How pathetic!
But, it turns out that the universe has others plans for me, which are continuing to unfold themselves on the daily at the moment, but when it comes to my employment choices, well that took a sharp turn at Albuquerque and it appears that my destiny does not lie where I thought it did.  Just when I thought that I saw a clear road ahead and a new way through, well I came to realise that that road was never meant for me at all. What I am actually meant to be doing is yet to reveal itself, but what I have been getting is a tonne of messages of a spiritual nature that are leading me back to my spiritual practises and opening new doorways with the right kinds of people.
Offers to join meditation groups, prayer circles, co-incidental meetings of spiritual healers and spiritual practitioners, an overwhelming reaching out in the form of kind messages from fellow meditators and like minded individuals around the globe that have been continuously flooding in, making it impossible for me to ignore the pull towards healing and self care. 
And not a moment too soon either, because I have a grandchild on the way in 2024, and if that isn't something worth getting excited about, then nothing is! And I will be damned if I am going to let the funk of 2023 ruin the opportunities of 2024 for me. Nope, all of that bullshit is over and done with now, it is time to leave all of that behind and forge valiantly into a new year, a new me and a new way of being. I feel a lot like a snake that has shed its skin, and now the possibilities seem endless for me. I can literally go wherever I want, do whatever I want and forge out a brand new pathway for myself in whatever fashion I like now. 
I have had a seismic shift, a re-route and a complete unravelling of the old me, and now, I look on at the blank canvas before me, ready to be made into whatever  I chose for me and my world. What a perfect way to end a year and start a new; 2024 is going to be my best year yet, I can already feel it. 

LEAVE THE WORLD BEHIND
Release Date: 2023
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 138 mins 
An apocalyptic thriller with an all star cast that was produced, written and directed by Sam Esmail, who is best known for his epic work on the television series Mr Robot.  The strength of Leave The World Behind really lies in the performances, everyone is delivering exceptionally well in this film, which elevates the simple and quite eerie storyline to greater heights because of that.
A family heads away for an unplanned holiday at a remote rental that guarantees that you can 'leave the world behind' when you stay there. Keen for some respite the family rush there and attempt to settle in for some down time when the owners of the establishment arrive unannounced, asking to re-enter their home due to black outs and strange occurrences that are happening in the city. 
As with all apocalyptic movies, things go from bad to worse pretty quickly, but in subtle and increasing ways. The whole thing unfolds in an unsettling fashion, but what I loved most about the film was that it was actually implying that America is a completely screwed up country that lacks the ability to save itself when push comes to shove. This is very far removed from the 'Americans save the world' apocalyptic tropes that we have been spoon fed for decades, and honestly it was refreshing. 
As I said earlier, the cast is terrific, with notable performances from Julia Roberts, Mahershala Ali, Ethan Hawke and Kevin Bacon and I do recommend a watch, especially if you enjoy apocalyptic tales. 
FINAL SAY: There is no going back to normal. 
3.5 Chilli Peppers ​