Some days you are ahead of the game, and other days you feel like you are invisible. Today was an invisible day. 
It is an unfortunate side effect of being a Learning Support Officer that people often assume that you are an idiot or of lesser value than a teacher. I don't know why people have this idea about what we do or who we are. Our job is actually really difficult, we have to deal with a lot of challenging behaviours and we get paid a pretty crappy wage when you compare it to what we actually deliver. 
This idea that we aren't really all that important can sometimes leave you feeling a bit like a barnacle clinging to a much larger ship, the crew all know that you there but you aren't really factoring in enough for anyone to really care that you're there. 
It isn't always like that, but some days it is, and those days are the shitty ones. Those are the days that I feel like I am wasting my life being treated like I don't matter. But then I always remind myself of something that a co-worker that has never made me feel devalued once said to me - 'it is hard to soar like an eagle when you're surrounded by turkeys.'
That statement has always made me smile, and it helps me to remember that what I do really is valuable and that there are kids at school that are relying on me, so do I really need validation from people that would make me feel unimportant? 
Nah, it was just one of those days. 

THE SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION
Release Date: 1994
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 142 mins 
This dramatic depiction of life inside the walls of the Shawshank State Penitentiary in rural Maine was adapted from the Stephen King novella Rita Hayworth and Shawshank Redemption, and after disappointing box office success, went on to become one of the most viewed and adored movies of all time. 
In 1949, Andy Dufrese (Tim Robbins) was convicted of murdering his wife and her lover, and sent to Shawshank to serve two back to back life sentences. After initially suffering great abuse at the hands of "the sisters," Dufrese manages to secure the safety of himself and his friends by using his skills as a banker and financial consultant to help the guards and wardens with tax dodging and eventually money laundering. He becomes best friends with Red (Morgan Freeman) another 'lifer' and tries to make positive changes to the prison that will benefit the experiences of the inmates. However, in 1965 a new inmate named Tommy Williams shakes things up when he shares a story with Andy and Red about a murderer that he once celled with, that bragged about killing Andy's wife and her lover and getting away with it. 
This is an epic cinematic experience, spanning over forty years  and perfectly depicting the best and the worst kinds of people that you would encounter in the prison system. There is a great sensitivity to this movie, especially the scenes involving the experiences of the lifetime inmates after release. Robbins and Freeman are at their best, delivering touching and believable performances that have allowed The Shawshank Redemption to become the number one movie on IMDb's user generated top movies since 2008. 
FINAL SAY: For the briefest of moments, every last man in Shawshank felt free. 
4 Chili Peppers

This ANZAC day was the 100th anniversary of the Gallipoli landings in 1915 and thousands of people went along to the dawn services to commemorate our fallen soldiers.  I have never been to a dawn service on ANZAC day, not for any political reasons, I just haven't felt like it is something that I have needed to do. A lot of people would slam me and say that I am being un-Australian for never showing my support, especially since the ANZAC legacy really seems to define us as a nation, but this is not a question of my respect for the ANZAC's - naturally I have great respect for their sacrifices, what I am talking about is feeling connected to the event, and please let me explain before you send me a hate message.
The older generations suffered greatly because of war, they were the ones who lived through compulsory conscription, post war depressions and mass loss and devastation. My generation came around at the end of the Vietnam war (1973-ish) and for a while there were peace times for Australia. I grew up in a time that did not understand the threat of war, did not hear of constant trouble abroad and had a generally happier time. This has lead my generation, for good or bad, to be somewhat disconnected from the realities of war. My father never had to go to war, or my siblings, I was not privy to the terror or the loss, I may be one of the only generations to know what that feels like. 
I think that a lot of younger people are now representing at the ANZAC services because now people are starting to feel a re-connection. If you are under 30, then you have not lived in a peace-time at all in your lifetime. For the last 30 years there has been a war of some sort or another mostly centred around the middle east, and young people are now constantly reminded about the threat of war, they understand the sacrifice because it is their sisters and brothers that are going to war. 
As a child, I thought that people were only meant to go to the ANZAC day services if they had lost someone in the war; and I suppose that I still feel a connection to that idea. I believe that ANZAC day it is a time to commemorate the fallen, to remember them, to treat it like wake and to tell stories about who they were and what they did.  And so far in my life I have been lucky enough to not need to go and remember anyone, and I hope I never do. 
It is true, that we should never forget their sacrifice, I cannot agree more with that. But I will stick to buying my ANZAC day badge, baking some ANZAC biscuits, contemplating the lives of others and watching from afar, for now I have no place among the mourners. To be there means that you are a part of the sacrifice, you have been touched by war, you have lost someone, you have the stories to tell and you have earned your seat at the table. For now I do not belong at that table, but I have great respect for those who do. 

INTERSTELLAR
Release Date: 2014
Rating: M
Running Time: 169 mins 
Christopher Nolan's finest offering to date, and a very fine example of excellent science fiction story telling. Using revolutionary filming techniques and effects, Interstellar won the Best Visual Effects Academy Award in 2014 and mesmerized audiences with its depiction of a post apocalyptic future that requires the assistance of space exploration to find another planet for the human race to recolonize.
The Earth is rapidly becoming uninhabitable, so a NASA physicist, Professor Brand (Michael Caine) formulates a plan to save mankind by finding a new home across the galaxy. To do this, he enlists the help of Cooper (Matthew McConaughey) a former NASA pilot and three researchers, and sends them on an incredibly dangerous mission that requires them to journey through a wormhole to find possible salvation in one of the three planets that exist on the other side.  Cooper must leave his two dependent children in the hands of his aging father to participate in a mission that could possibly save the life of all of humanity. 
This is an incredible watch, the space scenes are utterly gripping and beautiful, the story line is sentimental but not sappy and the acting is amazing. McConaughey is brilliant as Cooper, the self sacrificing and homesick father, Hathaway is bringing her best as Brand, Caine is as good as he always is, and Jessica Chastain and Casey Affleck deliver perfectly as Cooper's adult children. 
Interstellar had me hooked at the five minute mark, it is a beautifully put together piece of cinema that speaks volumes about sacrifice and love. One of the best science fiction offerings that I have seen in years. 
FINAL SAY: Do not go quietly into that good night. 
5 Chili Peppers

Just found out that my sister is going to be posted to Afghanistan in July. Normally this would really freak a person out, but she is cool as a cucumber, in fact she's even looking forward to going. Too many years in the army has fried her faculties I think. But that's my big sister, she's always been gung-ho about the stuff that scares the shit out of everyone else.  She's done loads of weird things, she was even an embalmer for a time and although she has well and truly proven that she can handle herself and this wont be the first time that she has been posted overseas, I can't help but think - Afghanistan - bloody hell!
It is really difficult to know what to say to a person when they tell you that they are being posted to Afghanistan, because your first instinct is say Oh Fuck!  You never hear any good news from that part of the world, and next to Iraq it has a rather distressing body count when it comes to soldiers. But my sister is more than happy to go, so I suppose that she is going into this in the best possible way that anyone could. 
I know that I would make the crappiest soldier ever and I have never had any interest in joining the forces. Firstly, I don't do well with authority and I loathe being told what to do. Secondly,  I am not a  fan of  fitness, running or anything to do with compulsory working out of any variety. And most importantly, I hate the word 'camp' in all of it's forms, especially 'boot-camp' which is my least favourite thing in the world after gastroenteritis and cancer. 
Also, I don't think that my laid back, artsy, free-loving ways would be embraced by the forces, I think that they are looking for someone with a more 'go get 'em' attitude. I am more of a 'you go get 'em and I will just wait here' kind of a person. 
So, I guess what I am trying to say is that I am really glad that there are people out there like my big sister. People that are willing to do whatever needs to be done, to put themselves out there and to step outside of their comfort zone, because quite frankly, most of us just don't have the minerals for it. 

ZERO DARK THIRTY
Release date: 2012
Rating: R 18+ 
Running time: 157 mins 
I learnt a lot about the events surrounding the hunt for Osama Bin Laden from this movie. The lengths that the government went to were incredibly intense and are all well portrayed in this honest account of the decade-long hunt for the leader of the terrorist group - al-Qaeda. 
Jessica Chastain plays Maya, a CIA operative whose determination and single-mindedness leads her to the whereabouts of Osama Bin Laden, with the help of a Navy SEAL team they close in for the kill. 
Most of the film is spent in various forms of investigation and brutal interrogations, chopping around from one place to another. But the final thirty minutes of the movie bring it all together in a documentary style that suggests that you're actually watching this unfold, it's edge of your seat suspenseful. 
FINAL SAY: Not a lighthearted romp, but certainly a story worth hearing. 
3.5 Chili Peppers 

So many birthdays happening around me at the moment. Helen had hers last week, my nephew turned 18 today and Craig will celebrate his birthday tomorrow. The fact that my nephew has turned 18 is amazing to me, I can still picture him as a cheeky blonde toddler and suddenly he has become an adult, it really is incredible how quickly the time goes.
I can recall as a child having adults say things to me like 'wow, you have grown so much,' and 'enjoy your youth it doesn't last very long', and I never really understood the magnitude of any of that until I hit my forties. 
Now I understand, because things are starting to happen. I am seeing my nieces and nephews growing up, getting hitched and having children. I am also seeing that now that all of my grandparents have past on, my own parents have become the 'old' ones, and that I have stepped into their shoes to be the 'older' generation. This is a somewhat frightening reality because I really don't feel older, but I do distinctly recall thinking that my parents and aunts and uncles were really old, when in reality they were only in their forties and fifties.
In light of all of this, it is probably fair to say that my own nieces and nephews now see me as old. What a horrific thought! Old! Blah, no-one wants to be seen as old, but it is completely and utterly unavoidable. It just sneaks up on you, one day you're the one getting your license and learning about the world and the next you're spending your Sunday afternoons knitting on the couch and baking, which is exactly what I did today! 
Oh God, I have transitioned, I am getting older, I am one of the older generation. Well, I can accept that, I will just have to opt for being the extremely good looking and most fun oldie of them all, that I can live with. 

DEATH BECOMES HER
Release Date: 1992
Rating: M 
Running Time: 104 mins 
This fantasy-comedy directed by Robert Zemeckis was unfairly hammered by critics for it's screwball antics and utterly implausible story line, interestingly enough, they were the very reasons that I enjoyed this movie so much. It's absolutely crazy, and the characters and events are so exaggerated that it is clearly not demanding to be taken seriously; Death Becomes Her is all nonsense and loads of good fun. 
Madeline the actress (Meryl Streep) and Helen the writer (Goldie Hawn) have been rivals every since Madeline stole Helen's fiance Ernest (Bruce Willis). However, when Helen turns up years later looking svelte and youthful, Madeline smells a rat and soon discovers that there is an elixir of eternal youth that is causing Helen's transformation. Madeline wants in, and before long the two are going head to head in an attempt to stay youthful and win over Ernest. 
The effects in this were pretty ground breaking in their time, and Death Becomes Her took out the Academy Award for Best Visual Effects in 1993. There is an all star and highly reputable cast at play here, and I think that what it lacks in story line it makes up for in laughs. Don't be deterred by the critics, Death Becomes Her is a highly entertaining comedy with a valuable message about the pitfalls of never wanting to get old. 
FINAL SAY: Forever young. 
3 Chili Peppers

Seth came home from school today in a God awful state. After another run in with his school nemesis, things went from bad to worse when a girl that he has a crush on turned into a viper and tore his heart from his chest, stomped it into the dirt and then encouraged others to do the same.
Poor Dib, he was gutted. This very attractive and popular young lass has decided that she hates my darling son, and his once secret crush has become a source of extreme anguish and unrelenting girl torment. There is no greater sting than the hateful words of girl that you are secretly in love with, and after calling him a fat slob and telling him that she hates him with all of her being, he was shattered. 
He is so utterly confused by her behaviours and cruelty, one minute she's fine, next she is crying for unknown reasons, then she is - in his words - the devil! He just cannot imagine what her problem is and apart from saying that sometimes girls can be tremendously cruel, there is very little a mother can do. Craig just said "chicks man...." which is quite true, but does nothing to bolster his broken heart and deflated ego.  
All that I know for sure is that it won't be the last time that some girl stomps all over his feelings, because my little guy wears his heart on his sleeve. And even those of us that wear the toughest of armour get burnt by unfulfilled crushes and insensitive words. Growing up can be a treacherous and unpleasant business; and girls, well they aren't easy to understand, and when you're the most desired girl in a school you tend to have the luxury to also be the most scathing. 
There is really nothing that I can do to alleviate the hurt for Seth, because even ten year old boys know that their mother's think them the most handsome, but I do hope that karma sneaks up on that nasty little piece of work and gives her a good kick up the arse sometime soon. 

No, I am not suffering from a horrific vaginal problem, it's the name of a friend's band that had their annual jam session this weekend. The Burning Fannies are a female acoustic threesome that mainly play folk music and yep, you guessed it, Bernard Fanning covers.  They had a get together in Ballan on Saturday, and what a glorious day they chose! The sun was in full force and people lounged about in a very relaxed state on the grass; eating, drinking and taking in the great live music. Hats off to you Liv, you always manage to throw the best get togethers and have a huge array of very talented friends, it was a fab way to waste a sunny afternoon. 
Sunday was a full blown Ukrainian extravaganza, up at the crack of dawn to start making traditional Easter loaves with my Aunt in Bacchus Marsh to celebrate the Orthodox Easter. I feel like I am keeping the memory of nan alive when I do things like that, she adored Easter and it was a really meaningful time of year for her, going the extra mile at this time of the year is something that I do in her memory because she was as busy as a bee during Easter. It's an all out event with everyone contributing to the workload and bringing good foods to be shared. You never eat breakfast on that Sunday so that there is lots of room for the good stuff. We also get busy decorating Pysanka, they are eggs that are drawn on with hot wax and then dip dyed in layers, when they are done properly they are incredible. When they are done by me, not so much - but I still make one every year to keep. 
So the end of the holiday period has arrived, two weeks of my life just flew by and now I must return to the fold. Term two always presents it challenges, with daylight savings over and the days getting darker and colder, things can get a little grey. But I keep myself warm with the knowledge that in eleven weeks I will be be here again and that working in the educational system does have it's perks. 

ONLY LOVERS LEFT ALIVE
Release Date: 2013
Rating: MA 15+ 
Running Time: 123 mins
A modern vampire tale that belongs on an art house list and not a horror list, because there is really no horror to speak of. Written and directed by Jim Jaramusch and filmed across several locations including Detroit, Tangier, Hamburg and Cologne; Only Lovers Left Alive is exclusively shot at night - due to the vampire issue, and it translates with a mesmerizingly poetic and nocturnal ambiance. 
Adam (Tom Hiddleston) and Eve (Tilda Swinton) are centuries old lovers and vampires. Living in the 21st century has made them far more careful and evolved about the ways that they source their blood, but when Eve's reckless vampire sister Ava (Mia Wasikowska) comes to stay, their harmony and their methods are put to the test. 
Swinton and Hiddleston shine with a calm cool that we would expect from modern day vampires, and their 'eternal love' for each other was translated perfectly. This is a slick and stylish vampire movie that doesn't rely on horror or cliches to get across it's story.  
FINAL SAY: The mutual jeopardy makes me feel safer. 
4 Chili Peppers

God I love the holidays, and with the recent spat of grey skies and drizzle, it has been the perfect opportunity to review movies, watch movies and stay in my Pj's all day long, which is exactly what I did yesterday. 
There is nothing as satisfying as settling in for a good movie with a big cuppa in hand, ugg boots on your feet and a favourite blanket, all set to while away the hours doing absolutely nothing. Love it! Don't get to do it as often as I would like, but thoroughly enjoy the pleasure of nothingness when I can get it. 
And lucky I did take the rest because this week is rapidly amping up to be hectic. Between running Zoe around to and from work (can't wait for her to get her license), catching up with friends and family and doing all of the things that I want to do with my final days of freedom it looks like the days of 'feet up on the couch' may have to take a back seat until the Winter break. 
But in truth I actually do prefer to be busy than idle, and the idea of nothing to do is really only appealing to me for short periods. I'd be lost without my crazy obligations and personal goals, they give my life purpose. I would really make a tremendously shitty Buddhist monk; they have to live in the 'now' and meditate for hours on end, I would be tossed out of the temple faster than I could say, but what are we going to be doing after this? And I know I would piss all of the other monks off, messing with their zen all the time, I would be as popular as a turd in a shopping trolley. 
Nah, too much thinking time and sitting still is definitely not for me. I will continue to take my meditations in small doses, my rest days in good measure and my pleasures where I can get them. That sounds like zen to me. 

CINEMA PARADISO
Release Date: 1988
Rating: M
Running Time: 155 mins 
Nuovo Cinema Paradiso (translating as New Paradise Cinema) is an Italian drama written and directed by Giuseppe Tornatore. Cinema Paradiso has been credited with reviving Italy's film industry and was awarded the Best Foreign Film Academy Award in 1989. It has gone on to huge critical acclaim and was listed #27 in Empire magazines 100 Best Films of World Cinema in 2010. 
A famous film director - Salvatore Toto Di Vita, recalls the events of his childhood when Alfredo, a dear old friend that he made through the Cinema Paradiso, passes away. It was through Alfredo the projectionist, that Toto began his love of cinema and he feels compelled to return to his home town of Sicily for the funeral. However, after 30 years of absence, things have changed and there are still some important secrets that have not yet been revealed. 
This is a must see classic movie, an epic and a fine example of great movie making. It really highlights the wonder of escaping your less fortunate realities to lose yourself in cinema, and for that reason it spoke volumes to me. I loved it from start to end, especially the end, but I'm not going to spoil that for anyone - see it for yourself. 
FINAL SAY: Life isn't like it is in the movies. Life.... is much harder. 
4 Chili Peppers

There comes a time in every parents life, when they have to have an awkward conversation about all imaginary 'seasonal figure heads' with their children. One such conversation arose between Seth and I only two weeks ago, and to be honest I was surprised that we had lasted that long. 
Last Christmas Seth had a stream of questions about Santa, and I knew that were not far off the age of disbelieving, but I had clearly misread these early warning signs as readiness for a truthful conversation. Anyway, it went like this:
SETH: So, Easter's coming up.
ME: Uh huh
SETH: And we will have an egg hunt?
ME: Of course
SETH: From the Easter Bunny? (Eyebrows raised here - clearly testing me out)
ME: Well, no. 
SETH: What are you saying?
ME: (wondering if I should back out) Well, you now that The Easter Bunny isn't real right?
SETH: WHAT?! No, what the....??
ME: (Slightly panicking inside but trying to act blase) Yeah, I thought you knew, especially since you were asking all those questions about Santa last Christmas, I just  figured that you had worked it out.
SETH: WHAT?!! (much louder now) What are you saying, that it's all lies, all of it? That there is no Easter Bunny or Santa? I mean I knew that The Tooth Fairy was all rubbish, but I didn't know that they weren't real! 
ME: Calm down, I just thought that you were old enough to know by now, you are in Grade 5. Santa and the Easter Bunny are invented for little kids to get them involved in the magic of the season, but you're old enough now to understand that there is a deeper meaning to these types of holidays. I thought you would want to know. 
SETH: Well, I didn't want to know, and thanks for lying to me all of these years, and thanks for ruining my childhood! (Storms out of the room in tears, goes to his room and sobs on the bed). 
Jesus, that went well! I let him clam down and again explained that I felt that he was mature enough to handle it (way to pass the buck there - mum of the year!) and eventually he settled into the idea when he realised that our holidays wouldn't be any less magical, just a bit more realistic. He promised not tell the kids who didn't know, but then came up with the best question of all -(asked with a truly concerned voice) "Wait, does Zoe know about all of this?" (For those you that don't know me, Zoe is my seventeen year old daughter, so it was a funny thing to say. Zoe was aware by the age of 10).
Anyway, our Easter did go off without a hitch despite all of the horrifying pre-revelations. We began our day with the obligatory egg hunt - slightly modified of course - no bunny antics, followed by a spot of Easter Egg painting. We had a lovely roast dinner together of seasonal veg and lamb (and I did a salmon too) and of course we had to watch an Easter movie together, our very favourite Easter movie of all time. 

WALLACE AND GROMIT - THE CURSE OF THE WERE-RABBIT 
Release Date: 2005
Rating: G
Running Time: 85 mins 
I have always been a fan of all things Wallace and Gromit related, and generally all things Aardman related as well. Dreamworks and Aardman actually teamed up on this adventure, and created what I believe to be the best Easter kids flick of all time. It deservingly took out the Academy Award for Best Animation in 2005 for it's fabulous stop motion techniques, but more than that, it's super funny and great exciting viewing that the whole family can enjoy. 
Wallace and his trusty dog companion Gromit have started a business as pest controllers called Anti Pesto. A giant rabbit is terrorizing the local neighbourhood and eating all of the prize vegetables that were to be entered in the town fair competitions. Lady Tottington (Helena Bonham Carter) hires the duo to stop the rabbit and save her crops, but they soon discover that this is no ordinary rabbit. 
Hilarious antics ensue with a strong voice cast to carry it all home; a cracking way to spend 85 minutes of your time. 
FINAL SAY: BEWARE.....THE MOON!
3.5 Chili Peppers

I have always found the probability and accuracy of people's horoscopes incredibly vague, to the point of utterly ridiculous. I am yet to read a horoscope that isn't possible to relate to any person, anywhere, that has access to a newspaper. Sweeping statements like, you will have the opportunity to change the way you look at things today really don't excite me. Obviously, that could ring true for anyone on the planet and really doesn't tell me anything about what will happen.
I do hold a slightly more value in elemental signs though, not that I am out their preaching this to the people on the street, but I do think that a lot of people hold some traits from their allotted star sign. Not all traits of course, and they are also pretty vague but I do think that there is something to the element that you are. 
Whether you know it or not, you will fall into one of these elemental categories depending on your star sign - Earth, Air, Fire or Water.  In Chinese astrology there is also the element of Wood, which we Westerners do not use. We also have a different set of zodiac symbols, but I am digressing here. 
From my experience, and don't think me crazy, I believe that people usually do fit their element very well. Here is how I see the elements in they're most stripped down form.
EARTH people- down to earth, realists, solid, stable, reluctant to change.
AIR people- free, frivolous, unpredictable, eccentric, intelligent, out of touch with reality
FIRE people - temperamental, dynamic, adventurous, leaders, emotionally out of touch
WATER people - intuitive, emotional, over sensitive, caring, spiritual, over compensating
Now, that doesn't mean that just because you're an Air sign that you can't also be adventurous and dynamic, it just means that most Fire sign people will be like that, from my experience anyway. 
I am a Piscean, which makes me a water sign. So that means that I am an over emotional yet caring and sensitive fruit cake that gets vibes about stuff; see I told you there was something to these elemental signs!  Check out your element and find out how nutty you are too! 

STARDUST  
Release Date: 2007
Rating: M
Running Time: 127 mins
A young man sets out to win the heart of his beloved by venturing beyond the human realms to retrieve a fallen star. But this star is not just a piece of space rock, but a woman named Yvaine (Claire Danes) and her fall to Earth has stirred the attentions of some very nasty characters that wish to do her harm. 
A fantasy-comedy  film based on Neil Gaiman's novel of the same name, Stardust encompasses a massive ensemble cast including Michelle Pfieffer as the evil witch, Robert De Niro as the camp pirate Captain Shakespeare and Peter O'Toole as the King of Stormhold. There is so much magic and mayhem in this movie, that you just can't help being swept up in the madness of it all. 
If you're a fan of movies like Labyrinth and The Princess Bride, then this is the movie that you have been waiting for. Suspend all disbelief for a couple of hours, put up your feet and have a good laugh; because the stars are out and shining very, very brightly indeed!
FINAL SAY: Do the stars gaze back? 
3.5 Chili Peppers