I spend way too much time thinking about the future. Thinking about things I need to get done or other stuff that is 'coming up.' This type of thinking really destroys all opportunity to live mindfully. I could literally think a hole in the ground if I allowed myself to, and it is ridiculous because I am often thinking about stupid and irrelevant things.
​Everyone knows that life unfolds in the present moment, and in that moment alone, and that nothing is ever carved in stone, but we continuously allow ourselves to drift off-road into the uncharted territory of the future and then we cease to be actually living in the moment that is now. 
We are all a bit guilty of allowing our lives to rush past us, unobserved and un-embraced. We allow our minds to think about distant things and unlikely outcomes rather than being fully aware of the present time. I have set myself a personal goal to live more mindfully, and in that I mean to be just more aware of the moment that I am in. In order to do that, I need to be more still, more willing to let my thoughts just happen without embracing them or pushing them away. Apparently this type of non-judgemental awareness cultivates a host of benefits, both physically and mentally. 
That sounds pretty good to me. I doubt that it can hurt, particularly at this time of the year when things start to amp up and everything gets a bit crazy. I would love to arrive at Christmas in a state of zen this year rather than one of exhaustion. So, less watching the clock, less piling things up for me to do and get to, less thinking about things in general and less playing out a myriad of possible outcomes, it's time to embrace the moment. And that is exactly what I am going to do. 

It is always fascinating to contemplate the possibilities of life beyond our own, somewhere out there. I think that may be the reason that I am so into science fiction genre movies, because the possibilities are endless, and even though many sci-fi films are quite ludicrous, it doesn't make them any less interesting to me. Who hasn't starred at a starry night sky and wondered if somewhere out there something was looking back at us? 
​With the recent discovery of water on Mars, it is normal for people have a multitude of questions in relation to what that means exactly. With scientific knowledge leading us to understand that we as humans originally crawled out of a type of primordial soup, mainly made up of salt water, then naturally it raises more than a few eyebrows when NASA announces that they have found salt water on another planet; and not just any planet, but Mars, the next planet away from the sun after our own dear Earth, and the one with the most similarities. 
How many species do we know of that can survive and thrive in salt water conditions? And it is worth considering the fact that we still haven't even chartered the depths of most our own oceans; it sure does get a person thinking. Does this mean that I believe in aliens? Well, I prefer to stray away from the term 'alien', because generally that evokes images of little green men with huge eyes and anal probes in many people, so alien is a term I'd rather not use. But life....the possibility of life somewhere out there, yeah I am willing to say that I think that there is a very high possibility that there is other life out there.
In what form, I cannot say, could be a microscopical organism, could be a shiny very angry squid type creature or it could be a highly intelligent life form that doesn't require a physical form to exist - who knows? And does that life exist on Mars? Maybe, maybe not, but odds are that if there is other life, it is going to be much further away in another galaxy, much further out than we have ever gone; and finding it is like finding a needle in a haystack. But sometimes when I sit out on the deck and look up at the stars, I like to imagine the possibilities and mull them over in mind and wonder if in a couple of thousand years we will know about more than just water on other planets, but about life outside of our own as well...and that is a wonderfully exciting thing to contemplate. 

In the words of dearly departed Michael Hutchins - Sometimes you kick, and sometimes you get kicked. The kicked days are always a heck of a lot harder that's for sure, but you just have to ride out the crapola and try to stay ahead of the game. Easier said than done, when you feel like the world is enormous and filled with ridiculous obstacles. I suppose that it is part of everyone's life to have days when they feel very, very small; I wonder if Kanye West has days like that? 
So, what do you do when things seem to be too large and there appears to be a demon lurking in every corner? Well, you find something that you love and you love the shit out of it until the world doesn't seem like that anymore. Truly, it is the only thing that can be done to fix those thoughts and feelings.  And that doesn't necessarily mean loving another person, odds are no-one is going to want to be bogged down with your low-day whiny-ass bullshit anyway, so it can be much better to find another source. 
For some it is music, for some it is exercise, for some it's driving something fast, for others it's shopping, for me....it's movies, but it can also be whiskey, coffee, cigarettes, drawing, writing, crying uncontrollably, curling up in the fetal position and turning myself into a doona sausage roll - but that's generally reserved for a really, really bad day.
A really, really bad day requires a bit more finesse,  I like to thrash about like a cut snake going through several states of separation from the issues at hand, then I will wallow for a spell and then immerse myself in something I love and voila - healed! Ready to face the world again. 
Whatever it is that keeps you ahead of the game and keeps your tyres spinning is all good with me, as long as it isn't harming anyone or anything, then I say hit it hard and let it fill you up. Because let's be honest, some days are a total crap sandwich, you gotta work hard to find the shine, but it is there, just over the horizon, and that's worth pushing on for. 

What is the deal with parties? I suppose being a Meyers Briggs INTJ personality type does make me a bit anti-social at the best of times, but I have never really gotten into parties. I do really like the company of others, and even a small soiree can be enjoyable, but people going hard at it on mass just freaks me out. 
I have never been to or thrown a big party that I have really enjoyed, does that make me sad? Other people seem to love parties and large group functions, I on the other hand, find them really trying and generally awkward. This is quite weird in itself, because in general I am not uncomfortable with speaking to large groups of people, I even won a public speaking award in high school, but when the music gets loud and the people get louder, I find myself searching out the nearest exit.
I would go so far as to say that I find most parties over-rated and boring. You have to be really smashed to get anything out of them, and when I get that smashed I don't really remember a lot of what was going on, and what I do remember makes me cringe because I was a total tool by that stage.  How is that good? What am I missing here? 
I have always felt like a bit of a social pariah when it comes to parties. Firstly, because I don't get it, period, I just don't get it.  And secondly, because I feel like I need to talk to all of the people that are clearly having a shitty time of it like me, and they are generally either really boring or incredibly bored and not in the mood for conversation. There are no happy mediums at parties, you're either going at it hard or not going at it much at all. The day after, the 'going at it harder's' are the one's who are saying things like "yeah, didn't get in until 5am and was so wasted that I yakked on the cat and slept in the laundry basket." The 'not going at it harder's' say things like "it was okay, pretty typical, I was home before midnight." Either way, not very appealing to me. 
And you just know that if you are joining the ranks of the wasters that the next day is also going to have those terrible side effects that only come with partying like it's 1999, like no money in your wallet, a blinder of a headache and a vague recollection of you telling everyone how amazing you are. Fucking brilliant! And don't even get me started on surprise parties, good lord, that is like the equivalent of hemorrhoids for me. 
No, it has nothing to do with me getting old either, I have always been a party pooper, for as long as I can remember. Small gatherings and one on one has always been more my style, and I doubt that that will ever change. 

This recent bout of glorious weather has made me realise that I need to shed a couple of kilos before I attempt to squeeze into any slinky summer dresses. There is one thing that a long cold winter can certainly be relied upon to deliver, and that's flab. All of those indulgent winter desserts and thoughtless munchies in front of the TV had given me a tuck shop lady arms and more than generous hips, which have wavered way beyond the realms of voluptuous. 
Never mind, the good weather has afforded me time to wander around in the yard and go bike riding with Seth, so it won't take long to wind back a few winter sins - well at least that's what I am telling myself. 
Isn't it funny how you always notice every little imperfection on your own body, but see so much merit in other people's curves and generous booties. I think that it would be great if we could see ourselves with more forgiving eyes rather, than the judgmental ones that we run over ourselves all the time. I'm sure that we would see more of the things that we liked and less of the things that we want to change. I do try to find things about my body to like, but the older that I get , the more difficult that that practice is becoming. My eyes just go straight to the horrid parts, all of which seem to be slowly dragging further south every time I dare to look. I find myself saying things like 'where the fuck did that come from?' or 'did that always look like that?' or my personal favourite 'lets just pretend that I never saw that.' 
I can only assume that these thoughts are going to escalate as time marches forward, hopefully my eye sight will have completely given out by then, and I will only look in the mirror without my glasses on and therefore be blissfully unaware of my saggy bottom and razor strap breasts. Yes, that's the plan -  blind, fat and unaware of how I look, sounds feasible. Good plan, it just might work! 

500 DAYS OF SUMMER
Release Date: 2009
Rating: M
Running Time: 95 mins
Joseph Gordon-Levitt plays Tom, a man looking for love when he meets Summer (Zooey Deschanel), a girl who doesn't believe in true love. A slightly corny plot line, but overall I think that Marc Webb did a decent job in trying to explore the complications and baggage that people bring to relationships. 
This movie is far more interested in exploring feelings and expectations of love than actually being about love, if that makes any sense. The couple are ridiculously good looking, not a blemish to be seen anywhere, and their super Indy dress sense and at times seemingly purposeless off-beat behaviour is a bit clique, but all that aside, this film has a voice and for a romance movie it is more than tolerable. 
FINAL SAY: There's no such thing as love, it's fantasy. 
3 Chili Peppers ​

I have done some pretty unusual things in my lifetime, some of those things were gutsy, many of them were stupid, occasionally they've been reckless and some of them were memorably out of my comfort zone. There are a few things that come to mind when I think of experiences that have been outside of my comfort zone.
The first of those was attending a toga party (being thrown by a family member no less) with Craig, well before we got married. I think that we always thought of ourselves as being a pretty open-minded couple, but not that open! I don't think that a strip of cheesecloth will ever constitute as a proper toga, and I never want to see that many hairy adult bums or bare women's breasts again in my life, I am still trying to get that twister game out of my mind, but I doubt I ever will. Let's just say that it was years before I agreed to attend another toga party after that night! 
​Another time that I can clearly recall being out of my comfort zone was at a tattoo show and competition. I have no problems with tattoos, I even have one of my own, and Craig was actually invited to attend because his tattoo had been entered into the competition by the tattooist, who clearly felt proud of their work. I just wasn't quite prepared for the amount of flesh that was going to be on display, and again, I am not a prude but you don't see people getting naked in public places very often, so that was weird and a bit confronting.
A tattoo show does tend to generate a certain type of crowd, and by that I mean a heavily tattoo-ed crowd, a rather rowdy crowd from memory and also a heavy drinking crowd. The start was all very civilised, a flash of arm or leg, the odd back job, nothing much. But as the day wore on and the people got drunker, the full body tattoo component of the competition commenced and well...yeah...too much flesh for me I'm afraid. This was the point in my life when I realised that people really got their vaginas and penises tattooed - extensively! Anyway, Craig and I left with a big trophy - yes Craig's tattoo came second, and a lot more educated about the world of the highly tatto-ed. 
I have also felt out of my comfort zone hanging off the side of the second highest mountain in the Grampians in a harness, washing an elephant's bum in Thailand, having to do a mock swim rescue retrieval of a body from the bottom of a swimming pool, being in labour and riding on the back of Craig's motorbike, which I flat-out refuse to do anymore. But I do think that these adventures have created some of the best stories for me to tell, and let's be honest, you have to get out of your comfort zone from time to time to really grow don't you? Yes, I have done a lot of things that made me feel like a fish out of water, but I regret none of it....well except that toga party maybe, that I could've lived without.

Crikey I have been watching a lot of movies lately, some good, some bad, some awful and some amazing. Talk about burning the midnight oil, it is nothing for me to stay up until the wee hours getting my fill of cinema in. However, I am a bit of a tight arse when it comes to paying for movies, I really do love the cinema but generally, I try to get my flicks for free when I can. No, I'm not a downloading demon, in fact there are tonnes of ways to get movies legally for free, if you just know how.
One of my favourites is to use of Apple TV and an ipad, there a quite a few television apps out there that are not only free but have a good array of movies and TV series that can be thrown up onto Apple TV from your mobile device for big screen viewing. Some free apps that I regularly use are:
SBS on Demand
ABC iview
9jumpin
PLUS7
Tenplay
Crackle
And if you already have a subscription - Foxtel Go and Netflix, but these aren't technically free. 
Another fantastic way to get tonnes of free movies is through your local library. If you have a library card (the library is free to join of course) you can go online and order whatever movies you like. The local library has pretty much everything, and if they don't have it, they will order it in from another library. They even send an email to let you know when your order is ready to collect. I have saved hundreds (possibly thousands by now) of dollars hiring for free from the library, and you get to check them out for two weeks at a time, bonus! 
I have a list as long as my arm (probably longer if the truth be told) of movies that I want to see. Some have been recommended to me, some I have seen a preview of and I want to see and others are just movies that I never got around to seeing but really need to; and I am managing to whittle through that list for next to nothing. So you don't need to break the law or spend a fortune to see really good movies, you just have to to be willing to seek them out. 
I would say that 85% of the movies that appear on my genre lists would be available to see for free, so....what are you waiting for? You have the genre lists, go and watch something awesome for free!  
Watched this corker for free last night, can't get it out of my mind. 

Thank God, my cat casually sauntered home a day after my last post, like she had just been on a lovely vacation. I however I was like a nutter, running about calling out her name around the neighbourhood and just making a bloody twit of myself for hours on end. I was even perched up in the backyard with a torch in the wee hours like some stalker in the bushes, trying to coax her back. But, at least she did return in the end. 
The holidays have drawn to a close with a fabulous stretch of fantastic weather, allowing me to don my first pair of shorts in what feels like a year. I think that the glare of white from my legs may have scared the nearby nesting magpies and had passing drivers thinking that Nosferatu had finally called it day and decided to just hit the daylight as a means to end it all! But I have to start somewhere, and if that means getting my almost translucently pale pegs out to kick start a summer tan, then so be it.
Everyone frowns on tanning these days, it's like smoking, you know that you're killing yourself when you do it, but you still do it, you just don't admit that you do it. And everyone gives you the look of shame if they catch you doing it, so you have to do these cancer risky things in private where no-one can see you and cast the glaring eye of judgement upon you. Gone are the good old days of sitting in the sun slathered with cooking oil whilst lighting up a fag, seriously you'd be stoned in the street for that these days. 
These days it's all fake tanning and spray tanning, which rarely looks good, in fact it looks downright hideous on a lot of people. When you start to look like you've been rolling in Doritos, then you need to pull back. Orange is not tanned, but so many people seem to miss that all important detail. If you can't get a natural looking tan, then just don't tan. It's just that simple, but no, we are subjected to a parade of Oompa Loompas every summer that just aren't fooling anyone. Embrace the pale if that's what you've been given, it's really not that bad, and trust me when I say that is far better than looking like rouge mandarin all summer long.