What the hell is Transcendental Meditation (TM) and what is the deal with all of the buzz surrounding it? Every famous person and their dog seems to be investing in the power of Transcendental Meditation, claiming that it is a total game changer that is easy to do and simple to access. I have been spending a bit of my free time looking into the rising phenomenon of TM and trying to work out what it is actually all about and whether or not it is just another zen-based sham that hooks in unsuspecting people that are just looking to get a little more well-being into their lives.
From what I can understand, TM dates all the way back to the Vedic traditions of India, however the primary person responsible for bringing it to Western cultures during the 1960's and 1970's was Maharishi Mahesh yogi. He taught his methods to various people who then became his disciples, spreading out and teaching his TM methods to millions of people around the globe. Maharishi Mahesh yogi himself has also taught many celebrities the art of TM, including the Beatles way back in the 60's, which would explain the Sergeant Pepper phase of The Beatles musical career. 
The meditation practice itself apparently involves the use of a simple and natural technique that requires the repetition of a mantra for 15-20 minutes twice a day whilst sitting with your eyes closed. Sounds pretty simple right? TM also vehemently claims that it is NOT religion or a philosophy of any sort, just a new way of engaging and calming the mind.
It is reported to be one of the most widely practised forms of meditation today as well as the most researched form of meditation being used. Users swear by its life changing benefits and famous people are seriously jumping on board the TM bandwagon like bees swarming around a honey pot. Some famous people are extremely vocal about their appreciation of the practice and are constantly online tooting and tweeting about TM's miraculous benefits. Celebs like Ellen Degeneres, Hugh Jackman, Cameron Diaz, Jerry Seinfeld, Paul McCartney, Russell Brand, Katy Perry are all huge advocators, and director David Lynch has even opened his own foundations to support the use of this ancient Vedic practise.
The transcendental meditation process has been proven to help people heal from addiction, depression, insomnia, PTSD, loss and anxiety with very positive results, and it is even being used effectively to assist children with ADHD and Autism with managing their levels of stress as well. Is there nothing that TM cannot do? It literally sounds like a wonder drug doesn't it? So why aren't we all doing it if it's so damn good?
Well the answer to that is quite simple really, it's frickin' hella expensive! Around $1500 for 4 x 60 to 90 minute sessions to be exact, and that is why we aren't all TM ourselves stupid all of the time, it's not free to get that zen apparently! However, after further delving into TM, it appears that there are in fact free avenues that can be accessed, and that you can save yourself a lot of money if you look into those methods before committing to a very expensive program.
The feedback that I have seen from the free methods, does appear to be as good as the actual TM trademark, but hey, the proof is in the pudding right? So I am personally committing to trialing a 30 day TM program (the free method of course because I am not paying anyone $1500 for four hours of meditation) and I will let you all know just how life changing TM is over the coming weeks. Will it be as amazing as all of the propaganda claims that it is? Or is TM really just a Vedic based money making machine for the rich and the famous? Watch this space and I will keep you informed as the month unfolds. 

When you work with children and hit the seven to eight week mark of the third term of the year, you have really hit that part of the year that tests your fortitude in so many ways. The weather relentlessly teases you with hints of the coming spring by supplying glorious afternoons where the sting of the sun can be languished in, only to slap you down again in the evenings with night temperatures plummeting below zero and freezing up the pipes and windscreens of everyone in town.
The children that you work with now know you well enough to exactly estimate where your line in the sand is in regards to behaviour tolerance,  and they will now also feel compelled to do their very best to see if they can nudge that line just one more inch across in their favour. It is also a time when, no matter where you may be working, the honeymoon is truly over. The rest and recharge from the last break that you had has completely worn off and been replaced with a dull sense of fatigue, repetition and lack of personal down time that forces you to work extra hard to maintain your sense of zen and not turn into a whinge or a tyrant. 
This is the time of the year when yoga, meditation, excellent whiskey and movie marathons become absolutely imperative to one's good health and wellbeing. A day of PJ's and couch time, lengthy sessions on Pinterest, long dinner dates with friends, hours hunched over sketchbooks, long hot bubble baths with saucy novels and endless cups of coffee are all necessary solutions to combat the negative effects of too many children over too many days. 
Self preservation of one's zen is absolutely key when it comes to the hard yards of the back end of a winter term. You have to find what it is that makes you feel happy and more resilient, and you have do that thing to death. Do it as often as you can and for as long as you can, whenever you get the chance to. Finding what makes you shine when you don't feel very shiny is so very important, because we all have days when we just want to punch stuff and get shouty, but it's not ever okay to do that; especially if you're working around children! So save yourself the bloody knuckles, the heartache and the worry and learn to stay zen, even when you really don't feel like it. 

The issue of gun control in the US is certainly a hotly contended one. America is completely unique from the rest of the world when it comes to their right to bear arms, because that right is constitutionally protected, and the American people steadfastly defend that right, even when it flies in the face of what is safe, logical and reasonable.
Although many Americans heatedly debate their constitutional right to bear arms, it turns out that they are actually bearing a shit tonne more arms than anywhere else in the world. In fact when it comes to owning firearms, no-one even comes close to the US when it comes to guns per capita, and the statistics are really quite alarming. 
Recently shared data from the Small Arms Survey listed the top ten countries with the most guns per head of the population. Below is the list from that survey with the number of firearms per 100 residents listed beside each country.
1. USA - 112.6
2. Serbia - 75.6
3. Yemen 54.8
4. Switzerland - 45.7
5. Cyprus - 36.4
6. Saudi Arabia - 35
7. Iraq - 34.2
8. Uruguay - 31.8
9. Sweden - 31.6
10. Norway - 31.3
The US is not only the leader on that list by a very long margin, but they also have more than one gun per person in their country! The only country that even comes close to the US is Serbia, but its firearm habit is part of a hangover from the breakup of Yugoslavia in the 90's and subsequent wars, and although I am condoning the fact that almost 76 people out of every 100 Serbians has a gun, at least there have been reasons to substantiate why there are so many guns in their country. 
Americans vehemently stand by their right to own firearms and defend themselves, however with the continuous onslaught of mass shootings claiming the lives of young and innocent victims, isn't it a moral and social obligation that the US reform their guns laws and enforce stricter purchasing and ownership laws?
In democratic countries where the incidence of gun ownership is much tighter, we also see a massive reduction in gun related deaths, it's hardly rocket science! Currently, Australia only has 1.4 homicides by firearm per one million people and America has 29.7, the highest in the world. Also, when you consider that Americans only make up 4.4% of the entire world population but own almost half of the guns around the world, well....it doesn't take a genius to see that there is a problem there does it?
Since 2012 there have been more than 1,600 people killed in the US in mass shooting incidents, and if you average out the number of shootings that occurred in 2015 alone (355) with the number of days in a year, it equates to there being more than one mass shooting per day in the US alone. That probably makes the it one of the most unsafe countries in the world doesn't it?
Come on America, wake and smell the coffee....countries with less guns and tighter gun laws have less gun related deaths, it's that simple. It is time to amend your constitution and drag your gun laws and restrictions kicking and screaming into the next millennium. Your steadfast commitment to bear arms is making your country unsafe, unappealing and unapproachable and unless you are going into a War of the Worlds alien attack type scenario any time soon, more than one gun per capita is just outrageously excessive and completely unnecessary. It's not too late to throw down your guns America and make a movement towards something more peaceful, united and humanitarian; there's never been a better time than right now.

Whilst perusing Pinterest yesterday an advertisement popped up for Neuralink's new 'Smart Drug' which is basically a mind enhancement medication, which is now on the market and being promoted by Elon Musk who is offering free trials. These revolutionary tablets apparently improve a person's mental performance, problem solving abilities, concentration, efficiency and memory by (aka. up to) 97%, which sounds way too good to be true doesn't it? 
However, people that have trialled the drug are claiming that all of the above is true and more, in fact the people that took them said that they felt more focused and calm than they could have ever imagined that they would ever be, but to be honest I do wonder how much of a mess they were to begin with. Regular users are quoted as saying outrageously sensationalised statements like "it makes me into a Godlike sponge" whatever the fuck that means, or "I have never felt so engaged and capable before" which does sound positive, but again probably way too good to be true. 
There is absolutely no doubt that the idea of optimising yourself is appealing on many levels, but on a more realistic level, I also have a million questions to ask about these wonder tablets. Firstly, and foremostly, what the hell is in these tablets? Who or what have they tested them on? What are the long term effects of taking these kinds of enhancers? Are they addictive? And what happens if you just stop taking them?
I have watched way too many science fiction movies where people in the future quite innocently start to take human enhancing drugs only to wake up with something god awful growing out of them or one day just realising that they have totally lost their minds and the idea of eating their pet cat seems completely plausible. Yes, everyone wants to gets smarter, better, faster, stronger but no sane person wants to be a human guinea pig. 
However, I would be lying if I said that I wasn't curious and maybe even a little keen to try them for myself, but then on the other hand I do feel sad that we all feel so compelled to be continually pushing and stretching our personal limits as humans. I mean this is really just another prime example of us not being enough isn't it? Is this hunger to be more and perform better actually driving us further away from our own true natures as human beings? What will the world look like if we are all operating at a genius level anyway? And what happens to the people that choose not to get on board, or cannot afford to get onboard because the tablets will clearly come with a hefty price tag? Will being 'super smart' only be for the rich or elite? And how is that going to be fair?
Nope, there are too many unanswered questions for me at this point and there are way too many variables that I have serious concerns about before I am willing to get on board with this 'smart drug' of the future. I am all for enhancing the quality of life that I live and I am most definitely all about being alert and active, but I am not sure that being 97% more focused is really what I need in my life right now. If I was 97% more alert than I am already, then I think that my head would explode. If anything, I think that I need to get about 50% less focused!
However, regardless of how you feel about the progression that is being made in the field of human enhancements, they are occurring and it is absolutely inevitable that they are going to become a part of all of our futures, whether we choose to engage in it or not, and I do wonder a lot about what that future will look like for us all. 

The time of too many chocolates, stodgy doughy buns, sugar rich treats, alcoholic tipples and spreading waistlines is upon us. It is Easter, which always means too much of a good thing for me and generally always leads to me needing a decent detox after the event to rid my body of all of the toxic sludge that has been produced after placing myself into an alcohol and sugar induced coma for the four days of the Easter long weekend.  
You would think by now that I would be much better at practising moderation, but no....there is something about the lure of a Cadbury chocolate bunny and a bottle of good red wine that has an overwhelming power to reduce me to nothing better than a lush over the Easter break. I always find myself eating and drinking way more than I normally would, happily indulging well into the wee hours of the morning and always wishing that I hadn't later on when I feel like a lumpy bloated mess.
However, this holiday period hasn't all been about over indulging, I have done some other really cool things to kick off the April holiday season. To get the wheels in motion I went to the movies on Good Friday, I actually went to the movies twice last week, but who's counting? I also spent an entire afternoon hand painting hard boiled eggs with Zoe, Seth and Helen on Easter Saturday and I hosted a lovely Easter family lunch on Easter Sunday which unfortunately did involve eating way to many proteins, sugars and carbs, so needless to say, I am a bit of a puffy sloth today. 
I cannot deny that it does feel good to throw caution to the wind and eat and drink with wild abandon, but I would also be lying if I didn't acknowledge how dreadful my body feels after I have done that. Generally, I live by the 'everything in moderation' standard, however sometimes I do things to excess and I always feel like a shit sandwich for days after. I think that it may have something to do with getting older, because when I was younger it really didn't seem to matter what I shoved down my gullet or how much I drank, my body could always process things pretty easily. These days I only need to stare at a slice of cake for longer than 30 seconds and my hips get wider, and if I drink too much, the hangovers that I get have been hand picked my Satan for my pure displeasure. Agony would be downplaying it, and they last for days not just the day after, so drinking beyond moderation is out of the question for me. 
So I willingly farewell the Easter season and its over abundance of caloric nightmares and carb loaded gorge sessions and look forward to a week of clean eating and a bit of self nurturing to get my system back on track for the rest of the holiday period. 

It's that time again, the time for me to unleash my viewing loves and loathes for the year of 2017. In total, I watched 279 movies and 62 TV series in 2017, so yeah, it is fair to say that I have a robust addiction to entertainment and that I have a fairly good idea of what is out there.
My biggest undertaking for the year was a rewatch of the entire Lost Series, 121 episodes in total, and although it took me the better part of the entire year to get through, it was worth the effort. Next to the Twin Peaks Reboot, Lost was the next biggest mind fuck of the year for me.
I must say that the bar raises every single year for me because movies and TV are constantly improving in quality and there is a never ending stream of excellent viewing to be had. That makes it a lot harder for me to discern the best,  but also a lot more enjoyable in the long run.
However, without further ado, here are my picks for the best and worst of 2017, my full reviews of these movies can be found on their corresponding genre lists. 
BEST MOVIES OF 2017:

• IT  - Horror  4.5 Chilli Peppers
• A Ghost Story - Art House 4.5 Chilli Peppers
• Mother! - Challenging 4.5 Chilli Peppers
• Blade Runner 2049 - Science Fiction 4.5 Chilli Peppers
• Baby Driver - Action 4 Chilli Peppers
• Dunkirk - War 4 Chilli Peppers
• Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2 - Fantasy 4 Chilli Peppers
• Logan - Super 4 Chilli Peppers
• Get Out - Horror 3.5 Chilli Peppers
• A Dark Song - Horror 3.5 Chilli Peppers
• T2 - Trainspotting - Drama 3.5 Chilli Peppers
• Logan Lucky - Action/Comedy 3.5 Chilli Peppers

BEST CATCH UP MOVIES OF 2017: (Movies released before 2017 that I finally saw in 2017)

• La Grande Bellezza (The Great Beauty) - Foreign 5 Chilli Peppers (Hall of Fame)
• Manchester by the Sea - Drama 5 Chilli Peppers (Hall of Fame)
• Moonlight - Drama 4.5 Chilli Peppers
• Arrival - Science Fiction 4.5  Chilli Peppers
• Nocturnal Animals  -Drama 4.5  Chilli Peppers
• Hidden Figures - Drama 4  Chilli Peppers
• Moana - Kid Friendly 4  Chilli Peppers
• The Edge of Seventeen -Comedy 4 Chilli Peppers
• The Conjuring 2 - Horror 4 Chilli Peppers
• Captain Fantastic - Drama 4 Chilli Peppers
• Samson and Delilah - Gritty 4 Chilli Peppers
• The House of the Devil - Horror 3.5 Chilli Peppers
• The Mermaid - Foreign/ Fantasy 3.5 Chilli Peppers

WORST MOVIES OF 2017:

• Kong: Skull Island - Fantasy 2 Chilli Peppers
• The Great Wall - Action/ Fantasy 1.5 Chilli Peppers
• The Ghost in the Shell - Science Fiction 1.5 Chilli Peppers
• A Cure for Wellness - Horror 1.5 Chilli Peppers
• Loving - Drama 1.5 Chilli Peppers
• Valerian and the City of a 1,000 Planets - Science Fiction 1.5 Chilli Peppers
• Baywatch - Comedy 1.5 Chilli Peppers
• Yoga Hosers  -Comedy 1 Chilli Pepper
• The Bye Bye Man  - Horror 0 Chilli Peppers
• The Greasy Strangler - Art House 0 Chilli Peppers

BEST TV SERIES 2017:

• Big Little Lies - Drama 5 Chilli Peppers
• The Handmaid's Tale - Drama/ Fantasy 5 Chilli Peppers
• American Gods - Horror/ Fantasy 5 Chilli Peppers
• Atlanta - Drama 4.5 Chilli Peppers 
• Godless - Western 4.5 Chilli Peppers
• Game of Thrones S7  - Fantasy 4.5 Chilli Peppers
• Stranger Things S2 - Science Fiction 4.5 Chilli Peppers
• Twin Peaks Reboot - Art House 4 Chilli Peppers 
• Mozart in the Jungle - Drama 4 Chili Peppers 
• Alias Grace - Historical Drama 4 Chilli Peppers 
• AHS - Cult - Horror 4 Chilli Peppers
• Peaky Blinders S4 - Historical Drama 4 Chilli Peppers
• Better Things - Comedy 4 Chilli Peppers
• A-Typical - Drama 3.5 Chilli Peppers
• Girls - Final Season - Drama 3.5 Chilli Peppers
• The Sinner - Mystery/Drama 3.5 Chilli Peppers

As far as bad TV series go, well I was so busy watching really high quality TV that I managed to miss all of the shit this year, so I'm not even putting in a category for that. To be honest, I think that this year may have been one of the best of years for quality TV that I have ever known, which fills me with a lot of hope for 2018. 
Hopefully you will find something on my lists that you haven't seen yet and will now go and see on my recommendation. Also, you now know what to avoid like the plague if you should have the misfortune of coming across it.
I hope that the holiday period is being kind to you all, happy viewing!

IT
Release Date: 2017
Rating: R 18+
Running Time: 135 mins 
A supernatural horror directed by Andy Muschietti and based on the highly successful 1986 novel of the same name by Stephen King. Clearly audiences are thirsting for excellent retro horror tales because IT swiftly became the highest grossing horror film of all time and the third highest grossing R rated movie of all time. 
It's 1988 in a small American town called Derry and something insidious is lurking in the sewers; an ancient evil that feeds on the fears of children and presents itself as a clown called Pennywise. Seemingly invisible to adults, Pennywise starts to abduct the children of Derry, and turns its sights on a tight group of friends called The Losers Club. 
With all of the terrific friendship dynamics  and comradery of The Goonies, Stranger Things and Stand By Me  and all of the creepiness of a James Wan horror, IT has a formula that works on so many levels. Not only is there a creepy as all shit clown torturing the children, but all of the adults in Derry seem to be rather unpleasant as well which adds another layer of turmoil to this already emotionally affecting tale. 
IT is most definitely the best horror movie to come out of 2017. The acting is on point, with Bill Skarsgard delivering one of the most memorably disturbing horror characters of all time in Pennywise. He is however exceptionally well supported by a young and fresh faced cast who are all bringing their A game here as well, with notable performances being delivered by Finn Wolfhard, Sophia Lillis, Nicholas Hamilton and Jeremy Ray Taylor.
The visuals are certainly dark, dreadful and nightmarish; but the coming of age story that is playing in the background is not at all drowned out by the grim effects, which was really pleasing to see. IT is a true horror gem and a must see movie for fans of quality horror.
FINAL SAY: We all float down here. 
4.5 Chilli Peppers ​

On Friday evening I attended a friend's 40th birthday and while I was there I ran into an old friend that I used to go high school with. This person and I used to be school captains at one of the less reputable secondary colleges in Ballarat way back in the early 90's. After a few moments of chatting with him I realised that I have pretty much wiped most of the memories of that time well out of my mind. Why had I done that? Well, because I was a bit of teenage dirtbag when I was in high school, and so were most of the other people that attended our school, and although I cannot deny that I had some really fun moments along the path to adulthood, most of them I would prefer not to recall at all. 
I was astounded by how much this old friend of mine had retained from our formative years, he could quickly recall names, events and people that I had totally deleted from my memory, and up until I had heard their names again I had almost forgiven myself for all of the crappy and stupid things that I had done when I was a teenage dirtbag.
Yes, I did some pretty crappy shit when I was in high school, particularly in my earlier years when I was really trying to discover myself. Some things I did for attention, some things I did because I was too young and stupid to know any better, some things I did out of spite and some things....well.... I don't really know why I did some of the things that I did to be honest, as most teenagers don't. 
Anyway, it didn't take many moments of reminiscing to remember why I had long moved on from my high school experience and my generally confusing teenage years and happily buried those awkward and stupid years way down deep in the desperate hope that I would never have to relive them again.
When he started to tell me about a possible upcoming reunion on the horizon I nearly had a panic attack! Seriously, being in a room full of much older, fatter and hairier versions of my high school friends is not something that I need to put myself through. I don't want to see photos of people's babies and hear about how the last twenty five years have panned out for them because I don't even know them now, not at all. In fact I really didn't know them that well back then either, which is why I don't still see any of them these days. 
I suppose that for some people (like this old friend) that have retained friends from their high school days, a reunion could seem like a really nice chance to get back to together with the old gang. For me, not so much. Don't get me wrong I didn't leave the school with a million enemies or anything, but I never really had a clique in high school. I was a bit of a square peg in a round hole at school, I just drifted about, talking to anyone but not really getting involved with anyone too much either. In the past, I had tried everything to run with the popular kids, but it just never really worked out for me because I always felt like I never really belonged or I had to try too hard or lie about myself to be accepted. I never felt like I could just be myself, and then in year 11 and 12 I just stopped trying to fit in and things got a lot easier. 
I really enjoyed my final years of high school, but again, I didn't really have any friendships that lasted beyond graduation day. I was happy to leave it all behind me when I walked out of school on that very last day. Happy to let go of my teenage regrets, mistakes and embarrassments and just happy to be moving on. And that is the way that it is for millions of people when they leave high school; they just walk away and move on. You don't really spend too much time thinking about it after that; that is until you bump into someone that you used to know and it all comes flooding back in, swiftly reminding you why you put it all behind you so very long ago. 

There are some totally revolutionary thinkers, movers and shakers in the world. Whenever I read a really great book, see a moving piece of art or new invention or view a terrifically original movie I always think about how amazing, imaginative and innovative some people are. In fact, I probably say to myself at least once a week - I love that and I wish that I had thought of it first. 
Apparently, you can actually train yourself to think more innovatively if you practise. Who knew? All this time I could've been honing my ability to inspire and influence if only I had known. Just kidding! I think that I am a creative person, but innovation is in a whole other realm to creativity, a realm that I do not live in. Gluing eyes onto gumnuts can be considered creative, but it's hardly inspirational or innovative is it? Not that I have actually glued eyes onto gumnuts, but I do spend more time wondering about what it might feel like to be influential than actually being influential!
I am sure that there are genuine ways to develop innovative thinking processes, but everyone knows that all truly inspiring people are intelligent on multiple levels. They are emotionally, physically and mentally well developed and I most certainly do not tick all of those boxes! That does not sound like me at all.
To be truly innovative and inspirational you really have to not only be open to the ideas of others, but able to see beyond and further than others when it comes to the application of ideas. Let's be honest, heaps of schmucks can come up with okay ideas but it takes truly innovative people to really set the wheels of process and progress into motion. I hate to admit my own shortcomings, but I don't generally see that far beyond initial ideas, and I do not have my 'make it happen' skills very well honed. Sometimes, and I hate to admit this, I can be downright small town in my thinking. Innovators are always global thinkers, never small town, so again I fail dismally there. Sometimes I think that being an introvert has not helped me with this problem because I actually enjoy the safety of small town thinking sometimes, which I know is not a terrific or inspirational way to be. 
Just the other evening, I was heading out to meet some friends for a drink in a busy public bar. When I arrived (on time like I always am- another pedantic aspect of my personality) no-one else had arrived. After scanning the room and searching the hidden recesses aka. the beer garden, I literally started to have a freak out. Instead of just ordering a drink and chilling out, my brain went straight to I must be in the wrong place, I have made a mistake, why is everyone death glaring me in this place? .....and so it went. Nuts really, and totally illogical of course. I found the nearest exit and high tailed it, doing a lap of the block until I was sure others had arrived and it was safe to re-enter. Hardly the moves of innovative forward thinker now is it? More like the thinking of an emotionally crippled and insecure nutter, but hey, look at me owning that! 
Anyway, I am also sure that some innovative and inspirational peeps are also emotionally crippled and deeply introverted as well, and I really shouldn't let those weirdo aspects of my personally hold me back from being more than what I am now.  Maybe I should look into one of those innovative thinking courses; who knows? Maybe I could hone the inspirational entrepreneur that's hiding inside of me. Maybe, it's not impossible, but for now I am happy to just go along and be inspired by the awesomeness of others. 

October has arrived, and with it another batch of unpredictable and mostly shitty weather. Normally I would say boo-hiss, piss off crappy weather, but to be honest I have been doing a lot of couch surfing these holidays and the inclement weather hasn't bothered me in the least. Sure I have been neglectful of my chores, and yes there are some areas of my garden that resemble the wildness, and of course I have been dressing like I am on the set of Grey Gardens; but that's what holidays are for!
No-one cares if I am schlumping about in a beanie, ugg boots and dressing gown at 1pm with a watering can in one hand and an armful composting materials in the other, not out here in Enfield they don't anyway. I've lived out here for the better part of a decade now; all of my neighbours are well aware that I am nuttier than a well made fruit cake and they have seen me at my least glamourous on several occasions. I believe that keeping expectations low can be extremely beneficial when it comes to neighbourhood relationships and interactions, so maintaining the image of a mostly mental person can be really self preserving in the long run. I am sure that my years of Enfield schlumping have saved me from a lot of unnecessary small talk with would be caring neighbours and I am happy to keep it that way. 
My neighbours are actually pretty far away from me out here, which means that a casual raise of the hand or a knowing nod are really the only interactions that appear to be required, but as I said, my schlumping has probably maintained the status quo on that front. 
So I have now spent a full week of my holidays in rest mode, and I mean full on rest mode. I have barely left the house aside from one dinner date, one lunch hook up and a rather hasty grocery shop. However, in spite of said schlumping, I have still managed to read two (almost three) books, watch 3 full TV series and 12 movies, sketch in my journal for the better part of every afternoon, do at least 20 minutes of yoga a day, pull a few weeds and pin extensively on Pinterest. So, you could call it pro-active slacking or 'zen like' slacking - kinda like Clayton's slacking - the slacking you do when you're not really slacking. 
Anyway, with only a week to go, I feel that I need to start balancing out the schlumping and the slacking  with some actual real world doing as well. Time to get a few ticks off the old 'to do' list, but I am definitely going to be rocking out in my dressing gown well into the midday hours as often as I can, that is the right of the holiday schlumper!

There has been a lot of discussion and open debate in our household about the ethics of cyber intelligence. I started the conversation some weeks ago after listening to a radio discussion about realistic sex dolls. Apparently dolls are now being manufactured to be more of a 'life companion' rather than just being a glorified sex toy; and they have been given emotional response abilities to make them appear more human. These very expensive and advanced dolls are basically a lifelike synthetic cyborg that is specifically designed to meet a client's every 'pleasure' need and to also provide them with companionship as well. I personally, see no problem with a lonely person accessing this type of technology, it doesn't bother or offend me at all. In fact in some circumstances I see it as a terrific thing to have access to.
Do I want one for myself? Well no, I don't want or need a sex slave doll/ companion in my life, but I would definitely use a maid or cleaner variation if one came onto the market, which no doubt, in time, they most definitely will. And this story of the humanoid sex doll has led to much discussion and debate about how human-like is too human? And whether or not is it ethical to have cyborgs in slave roles if they have been given emotional capabilities? 
After much debate, I must agree that it would appear that we do possibly face a fundamentally huge problem when it comes to artificial intelligence. Putting emotional capabilities into companion dolls is one thing, but how emotionally intelligent do we really want cyborgs to be? It is not ridiculous to foresee a future where robots are looking and behaving exactly like humans, and with the ability to process much faster than us and problem solve better than we ever can and perhaps even generate realistic emotional capabilities that not only appear to be highly evolved, but feel very real for the cyborg; well the question is, is that a good or bad thing? Is that just going too far?
What if these highly developed artificially intelligent beings eventually surpass us and then identify that they are clearly more superior than us in every way and as a consequence of that, see no need to keep us around with all of our pathetic human insufficiencies? I'm talking Terminator stuff here, but seriously, are we actually putting ourselves at risk by creating such highly developed, emotionally intelligent beings?
I know this sounds totally whacky, but it turns out that some of the smartest people on the planet are actually having these exact conversations. People like Elon Musk, the CEO of Tesla and SpaceX, Stephen Hawkings and Nick Bostrom (author of Superintelligence) are actually already warning that these seemingly innocent, perhaps even endearingly interesting early examples of artificial intelligence could potentially spiral out of control and be cataclysmic to humanity in the long run. 
You see the trouble is, that is we don't give AI robots emotional intelligence and they surpass us with their knowledge, then they will not care about eliminating us is we are deemed useless. However, if we do give them emotional intelligences then are we being unethical or playing God? And in light of these possible outcomes, an ongoing discussion has developed in our home about the ethics of creating cyborg maids and sex dolls that have super intelligence and highly evolved emotional ranges when they are only going to be living a life of servitude. I argued that they would only be wires and mechanics and that they could never match our emotional range, but what if eventually they could? As Zoe pointed out to me, just because it is blood and bone, it may not be better than wires and silicone, it's all just material in the end, and once the connects are made....well, they are made, and they become real for that being. So it is quite a realistic possibility that sometime in the future there will be artificially intelligent beings that are impossible to detect from humans because they are so like us, only better than us in every way. Wrap your head around that one, how does that make you feel? 
It was unanimously agreed that giving 'slave' role cyborgs evolved feelings is both maniacal and totally unethical, but at the end of the day it is ridiculous to think that some people won't be doing that if they are given the opportunity. There would however certainly be some roles that an intellectually and emotionally evolved cyborg would be terrific at; like elderly care, additional needs care and respite, nursing, therapists, drug rehabilitation and child care professionals to name but a few. And then again the question arises about how ethical it is to have robots fulfilling the emotional needs of humans. As I said, I am most definitely not opposed to the idea, but it's a big concept to imagine. 
Craig pointed out that the theory of an evolved artificially intelligent species wanting to destroy us could actually be completely unfounded, that perhaps in their highly evolved state they would see no reason to destroy anything at all, but would in fact become more sentient and enlightened beings that actually wanted to help us to improve. Perhaps these emotionally intelligent AI models will in fact be the key to humanity's salvation and not humanity's destruction at all.
​Who really knows for sure how things will play out? But I do know that we would be pretty naive if we didn't think that cyborgs will be playing a much larger role in all of our lives in the not too distant  future. 

I love a good series; I am all over sinking my teeth into a trilogy of movies or a series of films or even a long running TV program, but when do you cut your losses on a franchise and say enough already! Unfortunately, sometimes it happens, even the biggest die hard fans and fangirls can have too much of the same thing. 
We have all been there, God knows that I have invested years of my life in staying up late to catch up on the latest episode of something that I have an addiction for, but in spite of all that, I do think that some movies and TV programs shamelessly flog a dead horse in the name of entertainment. Or should I say, in the hope of capitalising on their devoted fan base at the box offices despite the fact that they are clearly pushing the envelope with the quality of story that is being produced. 
Yep, I said it, sometimes directors, producers and writers need to have a good hard look at themselves and just stop themselves...really....please....just stop! There's a tonne of original material out there just dying to be made, so stop rehashing things over and over again Hollywood, I beg of you... for the love of god, have mercy! 
And believe me when I say that I have a fangirl's perseverance when it comes to series, sequels, remakes and rehashes; but sometimes even I need to check out. I can forgive an average season of a beloved TV series if it's followed up by a kick arse one, which they usually are, but if not - I'm out! And with movies, if the consecutive films appear to be on a downward spiral of crappiness and cannot live up to the first one, then I usually check out as well. 
Take the Alien franchise for example, a totally solid body of work and a worthy undertaking, and a series of films that I am personally a fan of. Love H. R. Giger's freaky art work, love Ridley Scott as a director, love science fiction as a genre, love horror/ sci-fi even more - I mean the films are legendary, no doubt about it - but how many of them do we really need? After almost nodding off during Prometheus and then recently finding myself contemplating the snack food in the cupboard for about twenty minutes whilst watching the latest installment Alien: Covenant, I am going to answer that question by saying about three less than there are already. It would appear that no amount of cool Xenomorph hybrid action, or even Michael Fassbender (am I really saying this?) can make me interested in seeing any more Alien films, they have literally been done to death now. TO DEATH!  And while I am on an Alien rant, let's be honest, there were some pretty dodgy moments on the way to the newest ones as well... Alien 3 - oh boy, don't get me started! And I haven't even bothered to mention the Alien vs Predator spin off series, because that is a whole other saga in itself, I mean come on, enough is enough!
Fair to say that I have loved them, and overall I respect them, but I have really had enough of them. I think that I have just paid to see my last Alien movie, but then again, it is always best to never say never - just in case!

When things get crazy and hectic, as they so often do in life, it's so important to search a little harder and dig a little deeper; and for want of a better way to describe it - find the shine in your life.
Sometimes the shine can be extremely hard to find, on certain days, it can be downright elusive; on some days it can feel like there is no real shine left in the world to find at all. On those less than average days when everything and everyone appears to present another obstacle or opposition, you can end up feeling completely depleted and deflated by the world and it's constant pressures. Those are the days that require double what it takes and they are most definitely the days when we especially need to nurture ourselves and find a little gold or a tiny pearl amidst the muck and the mire. 
Don't lose hope, there are some pretty easy ways to restore your faith in humanity and re-find the shine, so relax dear readers, I got you covered! Studies have shown that just thinking about the happy times in our lives can boost the serotonin levels in our brain. Serotonin is the essential component in the prefrontal cortex of the brain and it regulates your  emotions and your self-reflection abilities. Basically, the more serotonin that you can get into your brain, the better that you will feel, and since serotonin also has the power to override old panic patterns it's great for generating a calm mind and disposition.
So, thinking happy thoughts is actually really beneficial to your health, and it will most certainly help to lift you out of your funk on a less than terrific day. As Maria sang in The Sound of Music - "when the dog bites, when the bee stings, when I'm feeling sad, I simply remember my favourite things, and then I don't feel so bad."  And it turns out that she was quite right about that because just thinking about things that make you happy will lift your spirits and make you see that the world really isn't so bad. 
Here are some other quick fix remedies that I like to use for particularly funky days or whenever the need arises (I hope that they may serve to also help you find your gold or tiny pearl next time you need one). 

• Have a laugh - watch a comedy, share a funny story over the dinner table or phone a friend that has a good sense of humour.
• Pamper yourself -  have a home foot spa, paint your nails, force someone to give you a back rub, dye your hair, have a face mask....you get the picture. 
• Surround yourself with beauty - get to the local gardens, bush areas or to an art gallery, or if hotties are more your style then hit the town.
• Get out of your own way - plan an excursion or an overnight stay to break the cycle, just get out of the house and stop mulling things over!
• Get active - walk it off, run it off or dance it off (Shake it off!)
• Perform a random act of kindness - doing nice things for other people has been scientifically proven to again, boost the serotonin levels in your noggin' - so go and be kind and spread some love around.
• Re-read or re-watch  something you love - must be an oldie but a goodie.
• Soak it out - full on deep bath, tonnes of bubbles, wine in hand and stereo blasting something awesome in the background!
• Watch some harrowing movie or documentary about people that have truly shithouse lives and then smack yourself upside the head for not realising how great your life actually is - works for me!

Whilst perusing Pinterest the other day I found this great list of Would You Rather questions. We regularly play the Would You Rather game in our home, particularly around a  bonfire or late in the evening when everyone's feeling pretty mellow; we always get a good laugh out of it and it is a terrific game to play around the dinner table to get conversations flowing. Anyway, this was a list of more than 200 questions - some of them are head scratchers, some of them present a moral conundrum and some are just plain weird, but they were a great compilation; I certainly know what I will be pulling out the next time that I have a get together.
Anyway, here is a dirty dozen from the list to get you started and for you to toss around your own dinner table:

1. Would you rather have a horrible short term memory or a horrible long term memory?
2. Would you rather have one nipple or two belly buttons?
3. Would you rather be alone forever or surrounded by annoying people forever?
4. Would you rather be unable to move your body when it rains or unable to not move your body when it is sunny?
5. Would you rather invent a cure for cancer or discover life on another planet?
6. Would you rather be poor and help people or be rich and hurt people?
7. Would you rather be invisible for a day or fly for a day?
8. Would you rather give up social media forever or give up movies and TV shows forever?
9. Would you rather sell an important personal item or sell one of your internal organs?
10. Would you rather be remembered infamously when you die or forgotten?
11. Would you rather be compelled to high five everyone that you meet or give a wedgie to anyone you see in a green shirt?
12. Would you rather have edible spaghetti hair or edible maple syrup sweat?

Totally weird stuff I know, but potentially terrific ice breaker stuff as well. I am a total sucker for games and good conversation, so Would You Rather is always a solid go to for me, give me a hypothetical conundrum any day of the week; I may not be able to solve it, but I will have a ball trying!

LIFE
Release Date: 2017
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 110 mins 
You know how these alien movies go; astronauts go into deep space, they find something otherworldly and get all excited about it and then before they know what's going on, alien shit is bursting out of people's chests, everyone is freaking out and the ship becomes a claustrophobic alien hell hole. Life is not unlike any of that, in fact it is exactly like that, well almost like that anyway. 
On a mission to Mars, a crew aboard an International Space Station discover life beyond our own planet. However this rapidly evolving life form proves to be a highly intelligent killing machine that is determined to kill everyone on board. 
A stellar cast that includes the likes of Jake Gyllenhaal, Ryan Reynolds and Hiroyuki Sanada deliver a reasonably tight and suspenseful science fiction thriller. The effects are good, the acting is convincing and the alien life form is interesting for sure. The biggest problem that I had with this movie was that it lacked originality; as I said we know how this goes, so predictable would be understatement. If you've never seen any alien movies before, you'll probably love it, for the rest of us, it's just a nice predictable romp through some very familiar territory, but it's certainly not a game changer.
FINAL SAY: This is some Re-animator shit.
3 Chilli Peppers ​

How the hell has a third of the year already gone by? I'm still recovering from last Christmas, how can we already approaching the halfway mark of another year? It is utterly perplexing to me how every year the days seem to get shorter and shorter, and I am not really packing more things in, just maintaining the status quo, so how does this keep happening? At this rate, years are going to feel like they are a few months long by the time I get to be 70! They say that time flies when you're having fun, but it hasn't exactly been all shits and giggles, so that theory doesn't hold any water either. Time just goes by, in a flash, in a moment and there is nothing that can stop its relentless forward march; and suddenly we are already a third of the way into 2017. 
​It is not until you stop and take stock of the year thus far that you begin to realise how much you have already accomplished, but also on some fronts, how little you have achieved. With the majority of the year still available it is always a good time to reflect on what still needs attention. I would like to offer a little more time this year to painting. I haven't even picked up a paintbrush yet this year. I am longing for a couple of undisturbed weekends in front of a canvas with a glass of good wine in one hand, a paintbrush in the other and something soulful on the stereo. That sounds so wonderful to me, that and curling up with a good novel for hours. I haven't been reading as much as would like to either, but I find that as soon as I pick up my book off the bedside table lately I am asleep with it in my hand only moments later. So annoying!
I love to contemplate all of the amazing things that I could get done if I didn't need to sleep, the possibilities are just endless; how awesome would that be? I wish that my battery never ran down at the end of every day because I would have read a million more novels by now, and watched a billion more movies. I definitely would have completed more art pieces, knitted more clothing, drawn more pictures, baked more delicious cakes, created more things and reviewed way more movies; but most of all I would've had a lot more time to spend with the ones that I love. Most of the time I feel like sleeping is such a dreadful waste of my life, I try not to give more than six hours a day to it generally because I begrudge giving up any more of my life to it. Sleep! Boo -it's totally overrated in my books! Shame that it is so damn necessary I reckon.
​Anyway, the next school holidays will definitely offer me the chance to do those neglected and much missed things, and I fully intend to batten down the hatches and spend as much time as possible hibernating out at Enfield over the June/July break. It'll be movie marathons in the evenings, painting, baking and reading in the afternoons, and long brunches after zenning out with yoga in the mornings. That is one of the best things about living in a house that you have built yourself to meet your own needs, you never really feel like you need a holiday from it. I can easily while away entire weeks out here without even contemplating going into town, I love being tucked away from the world. Besides, everything that I need is already here, including my paint easel and my pile of unread good books, I've truly got it made. Looks like my winter break is already planned. Must say though, in spite of my need to sleep, I certainly haven't been neglecting my movie intake in any way, there are certain things that I just cannot sacrifice! 

Made it! New South Wales Road Trip 2017 is completed....all the way from here to there and then all the way back again as well.... meaning all the way to Sydney and beyond (somewhere near Tuggerah) and all the way back to Enfield. About 24 hours of driving in total, which included loads of bad coffee, numerous truck stop dunnies and way too many gross food encounters at fast food outlets along the way for my liking, but mostly it was just a whole lot of good fun, especially travelling with my two weirdo kids, they are such amazingly good company and being with them for the duration was just fantastic.
We stayed with some of Craig's family up on the Central Coast which allowed for some chill out time on the beach. We managed to collect shells, take in some salty air and have a stroll along the sand together, which is always a lovely thing to do, even in the Autumn time when swim suits are clearly not required. 
On a day trip to the city, Zoe and Seth got their first up close glimpse of Circular Quay, The Sydney Opera House and The Sydney Harbour Bridge. Zoe was fascinated that The Opera House was covered in white tiles, which is something that you never realise until you see it up close, but Seth was more interested in the historical Man o' War Steps that float and continuously shift about in the harbour. We all enjoyed some fish n' chips on the grass at the First Fleet Park where the bin chickens (ibis) flock around in droves hoping for the smallest hint of a bit of tossed batter. Zoe found them incredibly intimidating and Seth kept encouraging their antics by continuing to feed them discarded chips, needless to say it wasn't the most relaxing lunch that we've ever had. We ended the day with a wander around The Rocks and a giggle when we spotted the restaurant where The Real Housewives of Sydney's infamous Athena X had her fishnet cape tossed into the harbour. 
You never really know what you will encounter when you go on a road trip. We listened to podcasts, playlists and each other for hours on end and we also managed to see a giant merino ram in Goulbin, a huge land-bound submarine in Holbrook, a number of 'off track' unsealed roads thanks to my crapola GPS and a tonne of shithouse drivers. Some drivers that we encountered were either really tired, really drunk or really stupid, or maybe even a combination of those three things; and even though we had a great time, it was so nice to get home and finally get out of the car on the last day of our trip, the day that we drove for over 12 hours with very few breaks. I was so tired on that final stretch home that I had to consume a lot of coffee and chocolate to get me through, but I tell ya, it works - caffeine and sugar - it's the stuff of champions and long haul drives. 
So that's it for long drives for me for a while. I did a short stint to Bacchus Marsh to celebrate Ukrainian Easter with my family today, and the 45 minute trip each way barely seemed like any effort for an old pro like me now, as easy as a walk in the park, and just as enjoyable. Ate and drank like a king, and came home with the spoils of everyone's efforts as well, which means tonight, I don't have to cook tea, and with one day of holiday to go, I also don't need to go to bed early either....I think that I can feel a movie marathon coming my way. 

Sometimes when I am by myself doing mundane things like unstacking the dishwasher or folding the laundry, my mind wanders off to strange and long forgotten territory that is locked away most of the time somewhere in my brain. I will randomly and unconsciously search way back into the farthest recesses of my memories, pulling out the most useless and pointless recalls ever. Suddenly, mid knicker folding, I am reliving an awkward conversation that I had with my boss 15 years ago, or thinking about some horrible guy that I was crushing on 30 years ago or rehashing an argument that I had with one of my sisters about something that seemed important at the time but now seems obviously irrelevant. 
When I emerge from this 'unconscious recall' I often get to thinking about my make up as a person, I mean, does everyone do this kind of stupid thing? Is everyone pulling up random old shit from time to time, or is it just me? And is there any point to rifling back through the trivial memories and mistakes of old? I doubt it, especially since most of the shit that I drag back up is either pretty useless memorabilia or just stuff that I would have preferred to have just forgotten about anyway. 
I must admit that often when I do think back, a lot of what I am recalling just makes me cringe. I cringe about how immature I was, or how clueless I was or how superficial I was. In fact I hardly ever have a memory of a moment when I was just being awesome or seriously cool. So does that mean that I have hardly ever been awesome or super cool or does it just mean that I am haunted by the dumb mistakes of my past? I am going with the latter on that one, but honestly neither option is particularly pleasing.  
I am sure that there are some excellent medications on the market these days that can stop me from doing these 'random recalls', but I am holding out on the hope that this is just something that everyone does from time to time and that I am not three parts crazy. I really don't see any harm in doing it, I just find being human so very odd at times; I mean the stupid, stupid things that we fill our heads and time with, it's all so irrelevant and unimportant and yet we allow it to be so all encompassing and valid. 
​Memories are slippery little suckers for sure, they have a knack of insidiously sneaking up on you in those quiet moments and snatching up your full attention, forcing you to ponder and reminisce the unchangeable.
​Barbra Streisand sang in The Way We Were "memories, may be beautiful and yet, what's to painful to remember we simply chose to forget." Meaning that most of the stuff that we do recall unconsciously when we are just daydreaming is pretty mundane because the really difficult and important stuff is buried down way deeper than that.
So maybe remembering the mundane stuff isn't that bad after all, I mean if we were rehashing the big stuff all the time, that's when we really would need to enlist the help of some good quality medications. Hmmm, maybe there is nothing wrong with reliving the small mistakes and minor mishaps, after all, the small ones are so much easier to deal with. If we gain nothing from these ponderings but a rough map of how far we have come, and what not to do in the future, well then it's probably not a bad thing to daydream our past shortcomings  at all, it may even be an extremely cathartic thing to do. 

I have always thought of myself as being a resonably easy going individual, but it turns out that that is not the truth. I am obviously very good at deceiving myself in regards to my own personality, because when people tell me how they actually see me, I am always horrified about what they have to say.
According to other people, I am quite difficult to read and often come across as negative, mean and unpleasant, in others words, I am a horrible, moody, difficult bitch. This revelation has truly shocked me to the core, mostly because I have tried so very hard over the years to snuff out the ugly sides of my personality and to try and support the people around me. Clearly I have done a totally lousy job of it if people still find me so difficult, nasty and hard to please.
I can't even begin to tell you how much this information has plagued me. Being a huge over thinker at the best of times, it has driven me to exhaustion pawing over every aspect of my personality in an attempt to decipher what it is about me that is so difficult to like; and I tell you, that kind of thinking really makes a person want to toss themselves under the next passing bus.
​There is nothing zen about this state of mind, it is the total opposite to zen; it is depressive, dark and soul destroying. I am like a bad, scratchy, tape that is stuck in a loop, replaying and rehashing conversations in my mind relentlessly. This way of being is surely a type of madness, for it seems to offer me no peace or relief of any kind, only further concern.
The other night I actually cried myself to sleep for the first time in many, many years. I was just so completely overwhelmed and exhausted by the oppressive thoughts of others. I am loathe to admit it, but I fear that I may be suffering from some form of depression. 
However, I am also keenly aware of my state which means that I can change it. I just need to quieten the voices in my head for a while that's all, and learn to take the opinions of others on the chin. I am sure that there is some good to be gleaned from all of this 'self truth' that I have been exposed to, and when the dust settles and the hurt feelings soften, I will probably be a better person for it.....I suppose. Unfortunately, it is time to put my metal-skin back on once again, which is disappointing, but clearly I haven't outgrown it at all and I feel that it is the only way that I can see a way forward at the moment.
Go hard or go home Barb. 

I recently took some tadpoles into work so that the kids could watch them transforming into frogs. The trans-formative process that a frog undergoes has always been really fascinating to me. We have managed to raise quite a few frogs in captivity at Enfield, which has always been a source of wonder and interest for Seth before we release them back into the wild. I figured that the kids at school would also enjoy seeing this process, for it is genuinely intriguing. 
The concept of transformation and things becoming "something else" has always been a major source of inspiration to great horror and sci-fi writers alike. Probably because the concept of metamorphosis is so completely strange; to us mere humans it is nothing short of utterly weird and incomprehensible, so naturally to me it is nothing short of extremely cool and greatly fascinating.  
So many well known horror archetypes go through some sort of major transformation to become their new selves; especially vampires, zombies and ghosts who have to die before they can transform. And what about the poor old werewolf? Talk about painful and regular alteration! Every time a full moon comes around they transform into a blood thirsty beast that generally kills indiscriminately - hardly a beautiful butterfly's metamorphosis is it? And everyone knows that any decent alien movie must have some form of metamorphosis, that creepy arse shit is what aliens are all about, they just love a good transformation; especially if it takes place inside of a human host! 
There is no denying that things undergoing transformation are oddly fascinating. From the real life tales of transformation in the form of the caterpillar entering the chrysalis only to hatch out days later as a butterfly; to the morbidly fascinating metamorphosis of Jeff Goldblum as he consumes his own regurgitated food and grows foreign body parts in The Fly, it is all really interesting stuff.
​It's a definitively unique process that unites real life with science fiction and fantasy in it's wonder and horror, and quite frankly, even though it is totally gross at times, I cannot deny that I really enjoy watching the process. 

One full week of sobriety down, and just over three more weeks to go until the end of the month, but whose counting?
On the plus side my liver is shouting out 'thank-you oh kind woman', and my stomach hasn't felt this good for weeks, maybe even months, so a reprieve from grog, fatty foods and caffeine was clearly way overdue. 
On the downside, I have realise that I like to drink when I feel stressed, and I also like to drink when I feel happy and I especially like to drink when I feel relaxed, so pretty much 24/7 - I like to drink! When I was driving home from work on Friday, after a particularly hectic day topped off with a grocery shop at ALDI (let's be honest, that is never much fun), I started to think about alcohol. I usually reward myself with a drink when I get home on Friday, followed by a few more rewards in regular intervals until I roll into bed sometime later in the evening (or early Saturday morning) three parts sozzled. Well this week that wasn't an option, so I just went home and made a pot of tea, like a good nun should. 
Don't drink, don't smoke, what do ya do? Remember those lines from that Goody two Shoes, Adam Ant song? Well that's my life now. No huff, no puff, and no cheeky nips, not for one whole month anyway. It's actually not really that bad if I am being honest, it's not like I drink during the week or anything, but I have come to realise that drinking on a Friday and Saturday (and occasionally a Sunday afternoon too) has become routine for me. Perhaps a little too routine to be considered healthy. I know that binge drinking is meant to be the worst sort of drinking, and I hadn't really thought of myself as a binge drinker before, but I most certainly am a binger - of epic proportions. 
Aside of the obvious physical benefits, I think that this month of sobriety is also going to make me a lot more mindful of the amount that I drink in one sitting from now on, and the amount of days that I consecutively drink. I think that I have really been quite unkind to my body and probably have caused a fair amount of damage to my internal organs in my continuous pursuit of oblivion. 
I have until Halloween to contemplate my previously wicked and lush lifestyle choices, because that is when I am letting myself climb (not fall) off the wagon. I am saying climb, because I am determined to not get wiped out on that weekend and fall shit faced off the back of the wagon and into the gutter. I plan to just gently easy back into alcohol, like an adult; an adult that has to take care of their damaged internal organs type of an adult. Can't be getting all sloppy in November after being such an angel in October, that's what December is for! 

Zoe came out to stay with us in Enfield this weekend; it has been almost four weeks since she stayed over and I have missed her tremendously. Four weeks is the longest that I have gone without seeing her in a very long time, and I do not want to do that again in a hurry. It was so wonderful to have all of my family together for a weekend, I just love having my children around and always enjoy their company. After four weeks apart, many uni assignments for Zoe and a trip to Singapore for me, there was certainly no shortage of material to chat about and the weekend whizzed by at lightening speed. 
On Saturday afternoon we went to the cinema to see Suicide Squad, just for shits and giggles really. I was not expecting to be wowed, and I wasn't really, but it was okay. Margot Robbie does make an exceptional Harley Quinn and Will Smith wins the prize for having the most interesting character, but overall, it was only 2.5 Chili Peppers for me, and really not something that you need to rush out and see. 
If you are anything like me, then sometimes you will just want to watch something brainless at the cinema, and I think that there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. I do generally like to be challenged by my movie choices, but at least once a month I really like to see a total no-brainer. A no-brainer movie is a film that you willingly attend with full awareness (before you even purchase your ticket) that it is not going to improve who you are or expand your intelligence any way, shape or form. If the no-brainer movie scores above 2 Chili Peppers you're always pleasantly surprised. A no-brainer film requires a simple, one layered narrative that has more effects than it needs and a blown out budget to match; Suicide Squad meets that brief in every way. 
Once and a while though, a no-brainer movie can give you a big surprise and turn out to be much more than you had expected it to be, for me that means making it to a 3 Chili peppers rating and getting onto my genre lists.
​The last movie that did that, was American Ultra. 

The sun came out today and put a smile on everyone's face and gave us all renewed energy and enthusiasm to get out into the yard and do some much needed weeding and garden chores. Whilst getting stuck into the garden beds today I noticed that the first daffodil buds were sticking their heads up out of the ground, which is always a good indication that the worst of winter has passed us by. And judging by the amount of newborn baby lambs that are wiggling their frisky tails and leaping about in the fields of the nearby farming properties, it is clear that Spring is now definitely on the horizon. 
The first sun after a long wet winter stretch is a truly marvelous thing, it really does have the power to lift ones spirits, which is just what I needed after last weeks illness. Off to the dentist to get my tooth fixed tomorrow and the whole fiasco will be a distant memory. I am back to 100% health, back into my 30 day yoga challenge (day 27 down) and feeling really positive about the coming holiday to Singapore. 
A busy week lies ahead as the days to Singapore melt away and preparations need to be put into place, but it is nothing too taxing, just some small things to do. This time next week I will already be in Singapore, now that's a pleasing thought, and proof of how quickly these planned trips sneak up on you.
I am getting really excited now. I love travelling so much and the chance to take off for a few days mid-winter can't ever be looked at as anything but a blessing, so yeah, it's fair to say that I am getting pumped. This holiday that my sister has organised (and paid) for me to go on, would have to be the most generous and lovely gift that I have ever received in my life, so I am also quite overwhelmed by the outpouring to be honest and really grateful to be going, the whole thing is just the nicest experience to be a part of; I am super chuffed! 
I think I might round out my good feelings by catching a few last rays on the deck with a coffee and a good book this afternoon, before the sun leaves us again. I do believe that a good dose of vitamin D will be the perfect way to end my quiet, and yet totally productive weekend.  

SUNSHINE
Release Date: 2007
Rating: M
Running Time: 107 mins 
A science fiction thriller directed by Danny Boyle and adapted from the screenplay written by Alex Garland. Boyle sited 2001: A Space Odyssey, Solaris and Alien as some of his influences when considering the claustrophobic space environments that he desired to create for the film, and production designer Mark Tildesley won the Best Technical Achievement award at the British Independent Film Awards for his original and creative merit. 
It is 2057, and the Earth is perishing because the sun is dying. A crew of international astronauts are sent out in the aptly named spacecraft 'Icarus' to deliver a payload of nuclear weapons that will hopefully re-ignite the dying star and save the planet. 
A fantastic ensemble cast including Cillian Murphy, Rose Byrne, Chris Evans and Michelle Yeoh make up the very convincing crew, and the sets, designs and CGI are all tastefully orchestrated to give viewers a genuine feel of infinite space and severely claustrophobic living arrangements. This is a gripping and deeply atmospheric watch, the peril is palpable and the creepy level is set to high alert, making this is a thrilling and entertaining journey to the sun. 
FINAL SAY: So, if you wake up one morning and it's a particularly beautiful day, you'll know we made it. 
3.5 Chili Peppers ​

Sometimes I like to imagine that it is the end of the world. I know that that sounds really fucked up, but it's not like I'm thinking about it because I want it to happen, I just like to imagine what I would do if I knew that the end was nigh. Believe it or not, I firmly feel that this type of cataclysmic thinking is actually quite good for putting things into perspective, because when you really whittle things down to their most finite reality, it's amazing the clarity that can be gleaned from it. 
For example, let's just say that some worldwide apocalyptic event was about to occur, something swift, close and something that no-one had any control over - it's the end of the world and it's completely unstoppable. What would you chose to do with your final hours? Who would you chose to spend your final moments with? Would you run around like a lunatic freaking out or would you just accept the hand that fate has dealt you and go out peacefully? Would you loot and pillage your final moments away like some crazed viking raider or would you just chill with your friends and family? 
For me it is the latter, but I am pretty sure that thousands would decide to go all 'opportunist' seizing a final moment of 'whatever goes' and attempting to go out in a blaze of glory. I think that what you would prefer to be doing in those last moments, really puts your real life into perspective. It places your true values and genuine nature into perspective, and makes it very easy to see what you have been living for up to this point.
It is the people that have nothing to lose that will always become the most dangerous, it is the people that haven't accepted their own mortality that will always struggle the most and it is the people that realize that this is all just fleeting and that nothing is forever that will go peacefully. Personally, I like to imagine that my final hours will be spent with my loved ones, sharing a last good meal and a few drinks, holding onto each other and reminiscing about all of the wonderful things that we have been so lucky to have had together. Because when it all boils down, all we really have is each other, everything else is just filler and fluff, it's meaningless - it's just a way to pass the time. 
​It's the moments, the memories, the relationships that we have forged over our blood, sweat and tears that are going to take centre stage for most of us in those final hours. And this is why it is so cathartic to imagine that it is the end of the world, because those amazing relationships shouldn't have to wait for it to be the end of the world for your nearest and dearest to take centre stage. They should be the most important things every damn day and if they aren't, well, you're doing it wrong. I say, make the most of every single minute, every single moment that you can and never ever miss the chance to let someone you love know how much they mean to you.
The end of the world may never happen, but your place in it will end one day, that much is certain, so don't fill your life and time with too much fluff and crap, focus on your meaningful relationships and just take it one beautiful day at a time. Yeah, I said beautiful day, because when you think that you may not have many of them left they all seem pretty beautiful don't they? 
So put on a smile and enjoy yourself, after all, it's not like it's the end of the world or anything!

Lately I have been getting caught up in other people's dramas. Not because I want to be, trust me, I really don't want to be, but for one reason or another I have been getting tangled up in a lot of other people's shit, that really appears to have very little to do with me, and everything to do with them. 
By tangled I basically mean being accused of being or behaving in certain unsavory ways. And by unsavory I mean - being a total cow. The really odd thing about this is that I don't even recall behaving in any way that would offend or upset someone, but perhaps my body language and my general demeanor is speaking volumes for me - now that I can believe. Anyway, the whole thing has just left me over analysing my behaviours and pondering whether it's me or if everyone just needs to take a 'chill the fuck out' pill - hard to say for sure, but I can honestly say that I haven't been trying to piss anyone off on purpose, and yet it is undeniable that I, in some way unknownst to me, have. 
Things like this happen, they just do from time to time, because let's be honest, no matter who you are, you're going to ruffle feathers and some people are just not going to like you. I get that and it doesn't bother me in the least. I don't need to be holding hands and singing kumbaya with everyone all of the time, totally cool. But when people accuse me of doing, saying or behaving in certain ways that I really cannot recall, I tend to get a bit pissed off and then I really do get annoyed because I can't deal with the bullshit dramas of others. 
Call me intolerant, but at the end of the day I think that Sweet Brown said it best - Ain't Nobody Got Time for That! And I really don't. Not only am I completely not interested in being dragged into your petty bullshit fantasies about what you believe I am thinking and doing, I honestly don't care either. There are people out in the world with real problems, big ones - your problems are not that large - get some perspective!
​All that I can really say for sure is that some people need to hang their issues and insecurities on someone else's hat rack, because mine is full up!  

Have you ever felt like you were born in the wrong era; the wrong time, the wrong place? I have often thought that I should have been born in the 1950's, a time of cool cars, fantastic fashion and a love of curvy women. A time when everyone smoked, sipped strong liquor from gorgeous glasses and things seemed to be whole lot simpler on the surface. Unfortunately, it truly is just the surface that I like about that time, because we all know that the 1950's was also rife with gender inequality, chauvinism, unwanted pregnancies, prejudices, political unrest and ridiculous ideas about parenting. 
You see no matter which period of time you fall in love with or feel some affinity to, there is always going to be some seriously shitty things that go with that era that will whip the gloss off it quicker than a bottle of turpentine.
If you are someone that romanticizes about living in last century then you have a whole other load of unsavory possibilities to contend with, aside of the magnificent dresses and ballroom events, there was a serious possibility of incurable disease, overwhelming poverty, corporal punishment or even Jack the Ripper! Head even further back in time and it gets even messier, you could be burned at the stake, disemboweled, beheaded, tortured or worse, and these were everyday occurrences. 
Putting it bluntly, there never was and there will never be a perfect or completely safe time period in which to be born, however by comparison we have come a mighty long way and conditions, as pitiful as they appear to be at times, are as good as they have ever been. 
Still though, who hasn't had dreams about wandering the Hanging Gardens of Babylon in their full glory, seeing the Acropolis when Athena still stood tall within it's walls, finding out what really went down at Stonehenge, walking down Hollywood Boulevard when Marilyn Monroe and James Dean were still alive, rocking out at Woodstock or slapping a peanut butter sandwich out of Elvis' hand?
The grass always appears to be greener on the other side, but I'd bet that anyone from those times would've killed to live in a more modern time like ours. A time when people in a first world country can enjoy a life expectancy of over 80 years, can freely express their sexual persuasions, can find the answers to most things at the touch of a button and can even go shopping without anything but a plastic card. But that's just the peachy side, I bet none of them ever had to consider Global Warming, declining forestry, epidemic obesity, slow wi-fi, reality TV, Facebook rants or terrorism either, so that just proves my point, there is no perfect time period in which to be born- there never has been, and there never ever will be. Still though....nice to imagine what a sneak peak would be like now and then, I just know that I would look great in some of those sweet 50's dresses!

My work place had their annual Christmas function on Friday night, which is generally a pretty fun night of merry making and seasonal frivolity. I always go to the staff function every year because it is nice to have a casual meal and a chat with the people that you have been working along side of all year, and lets be honest, a few drinks and a bit of a boogie on the dance floor never goes astray in December.
However, there is always at least one person (no matter where you work) that just cannot find their flood level on nights like these and will proceed to get utterly shitfaced, act like a complete buffoon and 'go at it' in ways that should never be 'gone at' at a work function. Even though it can be interesting to observe the behaviours of the crazy person when they've been set free and they're out of their usual habitat, I do find that I tire of it really quickly too. Yeah, it's always funny to a point but when things start to get offensive and possibly dangerous to this person's permanent reputation, then I stop being amused and start getting annoyed and honestly, a bit embarrassed for them as well. And then....glancing at my watch...wow is that the time? Time sure flies when you're having...whatever this is....I think I need to go home. 
Maybe I am just getting too set in my ways, maybe I should drink more bubbles and less whiskey when I go to these things, maybe I shouldn't be such a judgmental bitch, whatever the case, by 10.30pm I was done, dusted, over and out! Which is a bit of a shame really, because my work place has some really awesome people that I genuinely like to hang out with, but the introvert in me just cannot handle the crowd, the noise and the carry on. 
Without the prospect of needing a cigarette to create an out for me, I found myself contemplating the wallpaper at one point whilst trying to ignore an extremely drunken co-worker that had taken to unrolling condoms with her mouth whilst attempting (but failing epically) to dance provocatively. You cannot just unsee that shit- how can I face her on Monday now with that image in my head? Anyway, it was around that time that I decided that perhaps I had had my fill and was going home for a coffee and some hypnotherapy to wipe some of the less tasteful things from my mind. And that was that, another Christmas function over, another week closer to the end of Term and another step nearer to Christmas Day...it's all just moving too fast!