Being a child of the seventies, I can more than appreciate just how incredible, exciting and interesting technology is. When I was a kid we were marvelling over board games and the awesome effects of the very first Star Wars movie. Personal computers, gaming consoles and the internet were non-existent, we didn't even have video tapes for god's sake! 
The instant access to information and external stimulus is overwhelming today, particularly when you compare it to a model of my eighties childhood, a time that was revolutionised by the arrival of the Walkman. Children today are super tech savvy, because they need to be. They live in a world that demands it. Most kids have an Ipad or a PC, or both, and almost every home appears to have succumbed to purchasing a gaming console in one form or another. The world of gaming is a multi-billion dollar industry and billions of people can't get enough of it.
Both of my children are avid gamers and can easily while away hours and hours playing in virtual worlds and living out imaginary lives and realities. Both Craig and I also like to game from time to time, and I know that we used to game an awful lot when we were younger and didn't have so many other responsibilities. That first version Playstation console got the biggest flogging from us when we first moved in together, but I don't remember it being the only passion that we had. 
Seth is insanely passionate about gaming, he would eat, sleep, and dream it if we didn't put restrictions on it. He lives for it, it's not just a hobby, it's what motivates him. It is not just him, it appears to be most of his friends as well, in fact from what I can ascertain, it would seem that most youths around 10 to 19 years old seem to be totally obsessed with some form of technology. I believe that this tech obsession has risen with the ability to play together online and share experiences through gaming or online social media platforms. 
I don't want to sound like I am out of touch or that I have a problem with gaming when I say this, because I actually think that a certain amount of gaming or similar is a really useful stress relief tool and I completely understand the desire to want to go further or gain a new high score in a game, I've been there and done that myself many times. However, when it becomes a person's only passion, surely that is a bad thing right?
Lately I feel like I am fighting a losing battle with Seth in regards to gaming. He does have a number of other things that he likes to do. Like play guitar, read, draw and make art, film stop motion clips and build things - mostly Lego things and he is also really good when it comes to doing his share of chores and helping out when he asked to. However, he only does these things when I make him get offline and do them, which means that they are no longer passions or initiatives of his own volition, they are the things that he does so that he can get me and Craig off his back and then get back online. That's the part that bothers me about it. Not that he loves to game or that he get 100% immersed when he is doing it, because I totally get that, it's the fact that it appears to be the only thing that he gets passionate or excited about anymore. 
Craig just laughs and says that he will discover girls soon enough and things will change, but it still worries me, and I fear that I am losing my son to online fodder. I know that sound super dramatic, but I don't want him to only experience joy when he is hooked up and disconnected from real life. I would bet that there are a lot of other parents that feel the same way about this. Their kids are not bad kids or disobedient kids, they are just really addicted to the thrill of online gaming, which means that they are present but completely not present at the same time.
It's really hard to know the best course of action as a parent on this one. We do restrict the amount of time that he has, and he doesn't fight us on that because we keep it fair, but how do I get him excited about other things? What compares to a virtual world where you can be whoever you want to be and do whatever you chose to do? An open world that you can be lost in with your friends where you can look anyway you wish and do things that you could never really do in the real world? Nothing is the answer, nothing can compare to that. The virtual world is far more exciting than anything that happens outside of it, and that is why I am losing this battle and it's getting harder and harder to get him passionate about other things, but it feels like shit to admit defeat so I will just keep fighting and hope that something comes along that reignites his passion levels for the real world again.

Some people have zero percent personality going on. They are about as interesting and enjoyable as a slice of cheap white bread with nothing on it; they're bland and for me, mostly indigestible.
Now I'm not talking about the quiet unassuming people of the world, everyone knows that it's the quiet ones you have watch out for! Seriously though, I really like people that have their 'quiet cool' worked out, it's actually very alluring to a loudmouth like me. No, I'm talking about the people that seem to lack any 'ticker' as Craig puts it. Basically, they have no heart and no moxy and they seem a bit soulless and opaque. It's like there is a void in their makeup that makes them extremely difficult to deal with and pretty much impossible to enjoy on any level. 
Everyone knows someone that is like this, which is unfortunate. Some horrid person that doesn't get excited about anything and never gives over any of themselves for anything. They aren't holding back because they can't help out or they are too busy or anything like that, they are just not interested or invested....in anyone or anything. They are happy to not be involved in life, and from what I have seen, I think that they find living to be of general inconvenience.
Thankfully there aren't a lot of people around like that because the world would be so shithouse if there were, but the ones that do exist, honestly do my frickin head in! 
I get that people have their own shit, their own demons and their own hang ups to deal with, but this is something else altogether. This is something completely different to that, this is a person that does fuck all for anyone else so often that no-one would ever consider asking them for favour because there would be no point. This is a person that avoids others to the point of insulting and never seems to be around when they may be of use. This is a person that lacks motivation, initiative and above all else, care for others. Yeah, there really are people in the world that are that shitty and bland, perhaps even beyond cheap white bread bad, maybe they're more like moldy grey toast bad....
Can you tell that someone has annoyed me yet? 
C'est la Vie, I've vented now, moving along, don't want to dwell in that crusty crapola any longer.

After nursing the school pet (a bearded dragon named Bruce) back to health over the Summer break, you can imagine my disappointment and surprise when the bloody thing just up and died on Thursday. Apparently, whatever I was doing for Bruce wasn't enough to combat the fact that he was well passed his prime and his time to depart the planet had arrived. Even though I only got to enjoy him for a few weeks, it was sad to see the poor thing just fluff out so suddenly. 
The death of a pet is often a challenge for children, but generally the kids at school all took it pretty well. A bearded dragon is not the easiest pet to form a relationship with, and unlike a cute or fluffy class pet, he wasn't exactly adored by the masses for his cuddliness. Still, I did shed a tear for our old scaly mate when he finally bit the big one and so did some of the more sensitive kids that were helping me care for him at school over the last few weeks. 
I will never forget my own first experience of death when I was around eleven. I found three baby birds that had fallen onto the ground from a nest. I recall being doggedly determined to become mother to these young fluffy chicks who responded with open beaks and hungry cries at my touch, and even though my father had warned me that they would never survive without care from their real mother, I was sure that I would make a suitable replacement.
​I dug up worms all afternoon and found an eye dropper to administer water into their tiny beaks and really thought that I was making a difference. The first of the chicks died within hours of me finding them, the second died later on that evening and the third perished overnight.
I recall being absolutely devastated that I could not save their tiny lives. I had such high hopes for them and visions of releasing three healthy birds into the wild with a dramatic toss of my hand in a teary but happy farewell ritual. The death of those tiny birds had a profound affect on me because it was at that moment that I sadly realized that regardless of our best intentions, we just cannot save all of the abandoned, sick and dying creatures on the earth. Those tiny birds taught me that death is inevitable and unbeatable, no matter how much you don't want it to be and the crushing reality of it and my own defeat to death left me weeping for hours and hours. I recall believing at that moment that I would never stop feeling sad ever again.
The permanency of death is indeed a crushing blow to endure, and when you are only eleven years old it feels just as intense about a few baby birds or an old lizard as it does about anyone or anything. These first early brushes with death are quite shaping and certainly aren't easy, but there is an intense respect for life that blossoms from even the earliest realization that all life is fragile and impermanent.
​Socrates once said - Death may be the greatest of all human blessings, and I think that he was right on the money with that one. ​It is only when we fully embrace our own mortality that we can truly begin to understand the importance of living our lives to the fullest. Some of the most important lessons in life are learned through our sadnesses, and the reality of death is most certainly one of those lessons. 

I am already getting tired, really tired, and it is only week three of Term One! These obvious cracks that are starting to occur are making me feel weak and pathetic, but I am honestly feeling really exhausted at the moment. Perhaps it is just the new routine, perhaps it is all just part of getting back into the swing of things, perhaps it is the fact that I get up at 5.40am and don't really stop until 9pm and then feel obligated to watch a movie or something of equal length and effort, perhaps, perhaps, perhaps! Who knows or really cares why I feel so tired, I just do bloody well do! 
If I'm being completely honest with myself about it though, I know that it is because I take on too many things and put my own well being on the back burner for others. So, from this point forward, I have decided to trim as much fat off my life as I can. Yes, I know that I also need to trim some off my fat arse too, but I digress. What I need to do first is minimise the shit that I feel obligated to do and learn to set limits, not just for myself, but to also let others know that I am not a slave to their needs.
Quite often when people set limits like this, others see it as a negative thing or a selfish thing, which I know I have thought of others myself in the past, but not anymore! If it isn't serving me then it can fuck right off as far as I am concerned. I am culling the unneeded, slaying the undesired and destroying as many obstacles to my zen state as possible. This is not a dress rehearsal, this is my life! I want to maximise the good, find my bliss in every moment and live by my own terms and I don't think that there is anything wrong with that.
I actually got to flex my new found fat trimming abilities already this week when I wrote an email to my team at work outlining my dissatisfaction with a current responsibility that I had been lumbered with because it was really making me feel unhappy. The problem was fixed within a day, what a result! And when Seth's friend called last night and asked if Seth could come bowling at 10am on Sunday, I politely informed him that 10am on a Sunday was not a respectful weekend time slot, so he and his very strict and almost militantly driven mother actually changed the time to 11am, again result! 
It is of no service to the self to just take shit you don't want or need on the chin, and there is nothing virtuous about grinning and bearing it. I really don't think that life was meant to be endured, and I have no intentions of enduring things anymore. From now on: no purpose, no joy, no interest; that's my motto and that's just how it has to be!

The old chestnut of a saying - The older you get, the wiser you get - is not necessarily true in my opinion. I know a number of people that are definitely getting older but I would not say that they have gotten any wiser as the years have clocked over. No, I would actually say that a lot of them have become cantankerous, set in their ways and generally unyielding. Which would lead me to say that I think that for many, the saying should be - The older you get - the less willing you become to take on the ideas and opinions of others, which is a ridiculous mouthful, but it does seem to be closer to the truth. 
When I think about someone that is wise, I always envision a person that is intelligent, but not just because of the general knowledge that they have, but also because of their calm, their self awareness, their accumulated life experiences and most importantly their complete open mindedness to the ways of others. That combination of traits would take most of us a lifetime to master, and once you get all that down, then you would certainly be wise. 
I really don't believe that a lot of people are truly wise when they are older. From my experiences, a lot of senior citizens are quite grumpy old bastards that don't seem to give two shits about anyone, in fact some of them are downright vicious old meanies. Not all, I also know some total 'salt of the earth' senior citizens that are completely wasted in their old bodies and unfairly hidden away from us all, but if I am being totally honest, I don't and haven't known that many of them. 
Sorry oldies, but when it comes to wisdom, I'm not sure that many of you really do hold all the cards in that department. I don't consider the ability to save coupons for Coles and prune a plum tree that wise in the big scheme of things, useful sure, but wise? Not so much. And if it is really true that the senior citizens of our society really do hold all of the wisdom, then why aren't they sharing it with us? We all know what the world needs now is some bloody smarts (and love, sweet love, if you're a Burt Bacharach fan), so please old people bestow your wisdoms down on us, we need it now. Don't take it to the grave with you, share old people, share! 
Nope, older is not always wiser, older is just older. More often than not older is just a wrinklier version of a person in their 40's or 50's, and I firmly hold strong to the idea that age is no indication of wisdom. Some teenagers have their shit worked out better than some 50 year olds, so clearly older always being wiser is a load of shit. It may have been the case once upon a time, but not anymore.
​I do think that you should always respect your elders, they were here first and they do deserve that; but always take what they say with a grain of salt, just because they're ancient, it doesn't mean that they're wise. Everyone that you meet in this life is a teacher, the young and the old, the poor and the rich from every race and religion has something to share. Glean your wisdom from as far and wide as you can and stay open minded. Then when you are old, you will be in the ranks of 'the old and the wise' yourself and you can pass some of your own special wisdom along to future generations. 

Well into the second week of first Term and I have pretty much worked out what my main challenges are going to be from here on in. My biggest and most major hurdle is definitely going to be stifling the control freak within me and not overthinking every fricken thing. Sounds simple enough, but it is so hard for a freak like me. 
After five weeks of pretty much total withdrawal from society, zening around doing yoga and feeling like bloody guru swarmee, I am finding that my ability to re-adjust and compensate for so many other people's needs has dropped; substantially I might add. Boo to me, it's so difficult to be zen around so many children, but I am trying really hard. The introvert in me is going bonkers!
I am also sure that I am driving the teachers that I work with absolutely nuts as well because I am asking so many questions and seeking so much clarity. Go with the flow I am not, and it has made me a bit shitty with myself for not just stepping back and being a bit more chilled out. Even though my efforts to be organized do come from the right place, I am even starting to annoy myself with all the bullshit.
​It's just so weird to go from virtually no activity to pretty much zero down time and an overabundance of input, the contrast always screws with me for the first few weeks until I can level out again. I feel like I want to hightail it and run back to my zen cave of withdrawal, but I have already made the choice to stop running away from things, so running away is not an option, and besides, I need my job! I'm gonna have to find a way to suck it up, keep calm and carry on - and leave my own anxieties and pedantic bullshit at the door on the way in. 
Think I may need some help from Mr Jamiesons this weekend, a little Irish courage should serve me well. 

Don't you just love it when your kids decide to something completely out of character and in terrible taste at exactly the wrong moment? And why are they are so damn good at doing that? As parents, we are forced to become more and more adjusted to things just happening in our lives, not always good things I might add, just things. These things are often related to our children, however we also know that we cannot control what our kids do 24 hours a day, regardless of how we may try and that we need to be prepared for anything and everything to happen. Well, Seth pulled out a corker last Friday night when he decided to go all "Russell Crowe fighting around the world" at my staff BBQ.  Yes, that's right, a bloody catholic work function of all places!
To be clear and somewhat in his defense, he was seriously antagonised, but that did not make it okay to savage out, turn into Tyler Durden and initiate fight club out the front of a work colleague's house. Put up your dukes and let's just thrash it out is pretty old school, but yeah, he went there. Perhaps he is feeling a little inferior now that he has started secondary school, or perhaps overstressed? But to be honest I haven't seen evidence of either of those things, I think that he just straight up lost his grasp on cool and went for the juggler. Needless to say, he got more than his fair share of lectures that night about personal restraint, appropriateness and self control. 
I can't help feeling a bit responsible though if I am being completely honest about the incident.
Craig and I have always said to the kids - you can't start the fight, but you can finish it, which is actually exactly what he did, so he was just following through on our advice. Total crap that he did it at my work function though, what a dunderhead! Never gets into a serious fist fight in his life and then decides that a catholic school staff BBQ is the place to finally flex his street fighting muscles, brilliant Seth - good one mate!
In truth, I do have to admire the kid for standing up for himself, he clearly isn't going to let anyone just push him around, and who doesn't love a kid with a bit of moxie in his veins? Aside from the whole incident making me question my parenting techniques, I don't think that it was a total  and complete disaster; I'm pretty sure that both boys learnt a valuable life lesson from all of this, well at least I hope they did!

Firing up for another year of action at school and getting back into the rhythm of early morning risings and long, long days. It's all ready, steady, go, as we take our places at the starting line of another hectic school year. The tanned and fresh faced darlings will pour back through the doors tomorrow, and then shit will get real. To be honest, I am actually not in the least bit phased about being back at work, after five weeks of leave it only seems fair to be earning my keep once again. It will probably take me a while to really find my groove again, but for the most part, it is all good with me.
Seth also kicked back into action today, it was his very first day as a Year 7 at secondary college. I don't think that I have ever seen him so nervous before, considering that he is so cool and collected most of the time, it was odd to see him literally quaking in his flashy new shoes as I dropped him off this morning. I think that a certain amount of first day jitters is probably not a bad thing though, you don't want to seem too cocky when you roll up on the first day, the older kids will just peg you for an asshole right away. 
Seth's nervousness made me remember just how traumatic that first day at any new school is. It's tough, brutal even. Especially if you don't really know anyone, which is the case for Seth. I have been the new girl at school twice, both times in high school, and I tell you, it's a bloody challenge walking into a viper pit of already established teen friendships. Needless to say, I never fared very well with my friendships at secondary school; yep, teen girl friendships, it's a slippery slope alright.
Anyway, Seth had a terrific day, and I was truly relieved to see his big smile when I picked him up at 3.30pm. He has already made new friends and managed to deal with his first day of timetables, schedules and challenges. A great beginning from what he has told me. However, the horror of wearing a crisp shirt, tie and blazer all day is going to take some getting used to.