From early on in our lives, we are taught that other people influence our wholeness and that people’s opinions and expectations of us are very important. This kind of conditioning takes seed and roots down deeply within us, building in our conscious and unconscious minds and allowing us to form unhealthy relationships with our sense of self and our ability to feel whole as we are.
Many of us will spend our days trying so hard to be perfect that we may even begin to don social masks or perform in certain ways to try and please others, and in the process we may actually lose some sense of ourselves and move further and further away from being our whole true selves.
So what does being whole actually mean if it doesn’t depend on anyone else?
Being whole means to be ourselves and to believe in oneself. You don’t feel the need to change everything about yourself or hide your passions or your truths to fit in. You don’t believe that you are too full of problems to be loved and instead realise that no one is perfect. In its rawest form, being whole is means being at peace and comfort with who you are at all times.
The biggest factor in being whole is being healthy. Not just physically healthy, but mentally and spiritually as well. Lots of people incorrectly confuse physical health with wholeness, but this is only one slice of a very large pie of wholeness. If we are lacking in spirituality, or have poor mental health due to anxiety or stress, we will struggle with being or feeling whole. This is why some people, in spite of having very good physical health and financial wealth will still struggle to feel whole.
Anger, worries, and fears that we hold on to are things that cause us to lose some of our wholeness. With everything we try to carry and every hidden burden we bear, we have to drop a part of ourselves in order to carry it. Every time we compromise a part of ourselves to compensate for our challenging feelings, we lose a piece of our wholeness. Doing this time and time again, over many years, will lead to a massive deficit in our sense of self and our ability to feel whole.
This is why I often remind people of the importance of meditation. It allows you to look into yourself, and find what you are missing to make yourself whole. You can focus on positive thoughts and put down some of your stresses and worries. It has been the number one best thing that I have taken up to improve my overall wellness and increase my ability to feel whole and I cannot imagine my life without meditation now.
And contrary to what people think, you do not need to be sitting crossed legged on a cushion chanting 'OM' to be meditating. Meditation can also be:
- Mindful Practises like art therapy or breathe work
- Counting mala beads
- Listening to gongs or sound bowls or having sound baths
- Moon or star gazing
- Eating in meditation
- Fire, flame or smoke watching
- Movement like qigong, tai chi, yoga, gardening and walking.
- Mantra chanting
- Water or bath relaxation
- 5 sense visualisations
- Contemplations
- Mindful colouring in
Release Date: 2024
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 132 mins
A biographical sports drama film, written and directed by Sean Durkin about the Von Erich's, a family of famous professional wrestlers who appear to be constantly cursed with family troubles and tragedy. With an all star ensemble cast, this tale of family loyalty and parental pressure delivers an emotional and affecting punch that will leave you reaching for the tissue box.
It's the early 80's and now retired professional wrestler Fritz Von Erich, known for his 'Iron Claw' wrestling move, has married and had five sons. One son died as a child and the other four are constantly groomed and pressured as they grow up to become the next Heavy Weight Wrestling Champion of America, a dream of their fathers that he has now instilled into them. His passion for success drives his entire family not only to push themselves as far as they can go, but beyond and into tragedy.
Essentially this isn't just a tale of tragedy, it is a tale about a corrosive father that systematically destroys his family from the inside out, and at times it is genuinely hard to watch. The cast deliver perfectly, with the fours sons played convincingly by Zac Efron, Jeremy Allen White, Harris Dickinson and Stanley Simons. Holt McCallany is tremendous as their overbearing father and Maura Tierney rounds out the cast nicely as the emotionally distant matriarch Doris Von Erich.
Touching and profoundly disturbing in equal measure, The Iron Claw will make you weepy with its dire and drastic outcomes.
FINAL SAY: Ever since I was a child, people said my family was cursed.
3.5 Chilli Peppers