I failed to write on my blog last week because I was doing a major overhaul of my review materials. Not only did I re-sort all of my reviews into chronological order, I also did a massive statistical review of my website. This was hours of work, but also a labour of love. 
In total, I now have 888 reviews completed on Spicywatch and only 60 unreviewed films left in my catch up (back log) of movies to review. That may sound like a lot of reviews to catch up on, but when you have managed to already do so many, it is actually quite manageable and it will give me a project to work on over the Summer break. 
My wish list of movies that I would like to see is, in contrast to my 'to review' list, ridiculously long with 493 movies currently starring, and it just continues to grow longer and longer by the day. I have to admit that I may never actually get around to seeing all of the films that I would like to see in this lifetime, but at least I will never run out of viewing options. 
Below is statistical break down of the reviews that I have joyfully completed on my website so far, which may not be that interesting to you but was very interesting for me as the reviewer. I clearly watch a lot more Horror, Drama and Art House movies than any other genres and when it comes to Romance films, I obviously struggle to find ones that I like enough to review. 
I have reviewed movies that span across a 100 year gap and most of the films that I have enjoyed enough to review have been between 1997 and 2020.
I cannot accurately estimate how many movies I have actually seen in my lifetime, however if I use my statistics from the last five years as a base line and only count the last 20 years then I think that I can safely guess that I have already seen around 5,500 films to date, with only 880 of those making it onto my lists so far. 
​At this point it would also be fair to say that I probably only like around 16% of what I actually watch, which I think probably makes me a pretty fussy reviewer!
Anyway, as always thanks for your continued readership and I hope that placing my reviews in chronological order on their genre lists will make them more user friendly for you to peruse in the future. Happy viewing!
DRAMA:
Total - 130 
Oldest Film - Citizen Kane 1941
Newest Film - Nomadland 2021
​Year with the most reviews - 2014
HORROR, THRILLER, SUPERNATURAL:
Total - 113 
Oldest Film - Nosferatu: A Symphony of Horror 1922
Newest Film - Fear Street Trilogy 2021
​Year with the most reviews - 2016
COMEDY:
Total - 92
Oldest Film - Duck Soup 1933
Newest Film - JoJo Rabbit 2019
​Year with the most reviews - 2007
ACTION, CRIME, WAR:
Total - 101
Oldest Film - Seven Samurai 1954
Newest Film - Nobody 2021
​Year with the most reviews - 2019
SCIENCE FICTION, SUPER, FANTASY:
Total - 110
Oldest Film - It's A Wonderful Life 1946
Newest Film - Love and Monsters 2020
​Year with the most reviews - 2017
ART HOUSE, MUSICAL, INTERNATIONAL:
Total - 112
Oldest Film - The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari (Oldest film reviewed) 1920
Newest Film - Another Round 2020
​Year with the most reviews - 2004
GRITTY, CHALLENGING, DOCUMENTARY:
Total - 95
Oldest Film - Deliverance 1972
Newest Film - Swallow 2020
​Year with the most reviews - 2010 and 2011
ROMANCE, MATTERS OF THE HEART:
Total - 68
Oldest Film - My Fair Lady 1964
Newest Film - Palm Springs 2020
​Year with the most reviews - 2013
KID FRIENDLY:
Total - 67
Oldest Film - Wizard of Oz 1939
Newest Film - Cruella 2021
​Year with the most reviews - 2009 and 2016 

​THE CABINET OF DR. CALIGARI
Release Date: 1920
Rating: PG
Running Time: 67 mins 
Considered the quintessential work of German Expressionist cinema, this classic silent movie is arguably the first horror film to have ever been made, and although it may not have the same clout that it had back in it's day, The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari still has punch when it comes to unnerving its audience. 
A man retells his horrifying experiences after meeting Dr. Caligari at a town fair. Dr Caligari has a cabinet that contains a creepy somnambulist that can predict the future, but Dr. Caligari's arrival has also brought about a series of grisly murders to the town.  
There is a stark and twisted visual style to this movie that is absolutely amazing. Sets are askew, landscapes are jagged and the characters are all ghostly white with big black eyes. It is easy to see where Tim Burton may have gotten inspiration, because the odd angles and oblique lines are uncannily similar. 
Since you can watch the entire movie on YouTube for free these days, there is no excuse for not having seen this masterpiece of German cinema. I think it is a movie that everyone should make an effort to see for its vision and uniqueness, there really is nothing else like it. 
FINAL SAY: Dr. Caligari, you are one twisted sicko! 
3.5 Chilli Peppers

Ageing is a cruel and unavoidable process. It makes bones ache, hair grey, muscles weaken, wrinkles appear and perhaps the worst of all is the devastating and detrimental effect that ageing has on our ability to recall facts and remember fragments of our lives with clarity and meaning. The exact amount that we will remember and how much we will recall is completely unique to each and everyone of us, just as much as our appearance and fingerprints, there is really no way of knowing how accurate your recall will be or how much of your past you will be able to clearly remember when you are 85 years old. 
So, what is normal to forget and what rate of forgetfulness is considered to be concerning? Generally, as we approach old age we do see what is called a normal level of memory loss. We may miss a monthly bill, forget what day of the week it is, fail to place a name to a face and sometimes even struggle to recall a word when we are in the middle of a conversation. And none of these things are any real cause for alarm if you are 70 years or older.
In fact, studies have shown that up to 50% of adults over the age of 50 have some mild forgetfulness, and scientists are arguing that people from as young as 45, especially if they are not working their memory or strengthening their brain functions regularly, will have a noticeable drop in their ability to hold onto facts, recall events with accuracy and remember details. 
However, don't despair because if you aren't having any serious or significant problems with your memory then you can easily build it back again and vastly improve your brain functions by following a few simple recommendations. However, before I list these, I think that it is really important to note that if you are suffering from any of these significant memory loss symptoms in relation to your memory or recall abilities then it may be worth seeking some advise from your doctor.
SIGNS OF SIGNIFICANT MEMORY LOSS INCLUDE:

• Making poor judgements and decisions 
• Problems managing money
• Problems managing household tasks eg. keeping the yard tidy, supermarket shopping etc.
• Losing track of time, dates, years.
• Trouble recalling the names of significant family members and friends.
• Struggling to hold a conversations because you struggle with the words. 
• Misplacing or losing items and belongings.

Significant memory loss is sometimes reversible but it rarely improves at all without proper  intervention, so please do seek medical advice if you have concerns. 

For the rest of us, we can get cracking at turning back the hands of time on our brain functions and can begin to improve our memory immediately by following these 12 simple, natural and scientifically proven guidelines.
1. Eat Less Sugar.
Sugar has been linked to a swag of health issues but it is like cyanide for your memory and brain functions. Research has shown that people who regularly consume lots of sugar have poorer memories and lower brain volumes than those who do not. 
2. Try a Fish Oil Supplement
Rich in omega-3 fatty acids EPA and DHA, fish oil supplements will help to strengthen your short term working and episodic memory. They can be purchased at most supermarkets and are relatively cheap and convenient. 
3. Meditate
Meditation isn't just good for your brain and your memory, it's also super good for your whole body as well. Meditation increases the grey matter in the brain and improves your spatial working memory. Make time to tune out a little every day.
4. Maintain a Healthy Weight
Obesity is a risk factor for cognitive decline. Maintaining a body mass index in the normal range will assist you with a host of issues associated with obesity, including poor memory. 
5. Get Enough Sleep
Studies have consistently shown that insufficient sleep affects memory. If you get enough rest you will not only consolidate your memories, you'll perform better on tests as well. 
​6. Be Mindful
Practising mindfulness techniques has been associated with increased memory performance. Mindfulness is also linked to reduced age-related cognitive decline. 
7. Drink Less Alcohol
Alcohol has neurotoxic effects on the brain, including reducing memory performance. Occasional moderate drinking isn't an issue, but binge drinking can damage the hippocampus, a key area in the brain associated with memory. So keep your alcohol consumption in check. 
8. Train Your Brain
Games that challenge your brain and make you think may help you strengthen your memory and may even reduce the risk of dementia later in life. So, do more crossword puzzles, play Tetris or download a brain training app and challenge your thinking. 
9. Cut Back the Carbs
Like adding sugar, refined carbohydrates lead to a spike in blood sugar levels, which can damage the brain over time. Diets high in carbohydrates have been associated with dementia, cognitive decline and reduced brain function. 
10. Make Sure You Have Enough Vitamin D
Vitamin D deficiency is very common, especially in colder climates. It has been related to age related cognitive decline and dementia. If you think that you may be deficient in vitamin, see your GP for testing as soon as possible. 
11. Exercise More
Exercise is clearly beneficial for your entire body, including your brain. Even moderate exercise for a short period has been shown to improve cognitive function across all age groups. A 30 minute walk a day will help to keep your brain matter in tip top order. 
12. Eat Anti-Inflammatory Foods
Anti-inflammatory foods are great for your brain, especially berries and other food that have high levels of antioxidants. Eat lots of fruits, vegetables and drink green tea. And try to add a little cocoa to your diet as well because small amounts of dark chocolate that has 70% cacao will really help to boost your concentration and memory and best of all, it tastes delicious!

​STILL ALICE
Release Date: 2014
Rating: M
Running Time: 101 mins 
Julianne Moore gives a convincing and Oscar worthy performance (Best Actress worthy actually) in this harrowing tale about a middle aged woman that is struggling with Early-Onset Alzheimer's. 
Renown linguistics Professor Alice Howland has started to forget words and minor details, but when she starts to forget where she is, she decides to visit a neurologist to ease her mind. Unfortunately, Alice actually has Early-Onset Alzheimer's and it is rapidly altering her ability levels. Alice must rely on the support of her loving family to help her as she loses more and more of her memories along the way. 
This is one of the saddest movies that I have ever watched, mostly because it is so real and tangible, and also because the levels of hopelessness were so truly heartbreaking to witness. I was literally sobbing on the couch as I watch this once highly intelligent and independent woman lose herself. It's a real tear jerker, have the tissues at the ready. 
FINAL SAY: Hi, Alice. I'm you. And I have something important to say. 
4 Chilli Peppers

As we approach lockdown 7.0 in rural Victoria (yep we had a 6.0 lockdown that I failed to even mention on my blog because it was only for 4 days) it is time to muster up some strength and fortitude from the already dry wells of our tired and weary souls. And what I have learned about myself and others from all of these lockdowns is that we are all a lot more physically, mentally and emotionally stronger than we allow ourselves to think that we are. And when our personal wells appear to have run dry, they may not have actually run as dry as you may have first thought. 
When it comes to physical endurance and strength, no-one does it better than elite athletes. They understand that there is a very clear relationship between one's mind and one's ability to keep on going even when your body has grown extremely fatigued. A fascinating study was conducted around this by researchers at Northumbria University in England. They got a number of cyclists to pedal as fast as they could on stationary bikes for a couple of miles and encouraged them to go as hard as they could. 
They then split the group into two separate groups. Both groups were then sat in front of a computer screen on stationary bikes and were told that they would be racing against the cyclist on the screen. The first group were told that the cyclist on the screen was travelling at their previously best time but it was actually performing 2% faster than their best time. And the second group were told that the rider was 2% faster than their previous best. And guess who did better? The first group did better and matched the 2% faster rider where as the second group only matched their previously best rides and failed to keep up with the avatar because they had already perceived the bar to be too high before they started. 
So what is going on in this study? Well, while an athlete certainly does need to consider their muscles, heart and lungs when it comes to their physical endurance it would also appear that they need to consider their mind set  as well before they go into a race or competition. Mind plays a very crucial role in the way that our bodies will perform and what we allow ourselves to believe that we can endure. In short, our brain is lazy and by saying things like "I can't do this anymore" or "I'm done" or "I need to tap out" we offer ourselves an exit and sometimes our brain goes there sooner than we really need to. 
And just as our brains can tell us that we are too tuckered out to complete physical tasks, it can also do the same with mental tasks and emotional tasks, tapping us out way sooner than we need to. Our brains allow us to perceive things to be bad before they even really are, and this is often the case with repeated lockdowns.  Thoughts like 'I hated it last time' or 'this will last forever' or 'I just can't go another round' often lead us into unnecessary prediction cycles where we are catastrophising and panicking about things that may not even occur. If history has taught us anything, it's that things are transient and changeable, so assuming that it will  be the same all over again is not only unrealistic but it's also feeding our brains the wrong message. 
Now in all fairness to our brains, it is lazy and anxious for a reason, it's harking back to a basic and outdated survival program that we all have inside of us that would've kept us alive once upon a time, but those times have changed and now that mode just wears us out and makes us feel stressed out.  So you have to bypass and dig deep so that you can gain access to those well guarded reserves of strength that you have hidden within you. 
The first step in doing this is to call your brains bluff. When it starts to read out a negative script shut the thought down immediately and replace it with a positive mantra like "I am strong" or "I can do this." Studies have proven that the efficacy of motivational self talk will not only make uncomfortable or challenging tasks less difficult but it will also give you more vigour to complete them in a more efficient and accurate way.
I do understand that emotional challenges are a little more difficult to overcome and often a lot more complicated and telling yourself to buck up when you're feeling depressed isn't exactly going to make your well-spring flood over with fortitude. However, from personal experience, if you are feeling like that, the best place to start is to share your experience with someone who may have already been through something similar to you and come out the other side of it. People who have overcome their own well drying up and been able to replenish it will usually have a wealth of knowledge to share and can be a wonderful bolster during challenging times like these. So don't be afraid to share the load with others and be willing to be transparent about the way that you are feeling. 
Above all else, never forget that this too shall pass and whether you are feeling physically, mentally or emotionally drained about the prospect of yet another lockdown and you feel like you just can't go on, well don't believe that lie, tell that lie to go and fuck off! Dig deeper into your well and you'll be surprised what you may find in reserve down there. You are stronger than you think that you are! 

FORD V FERRARI
Release Date: 2019 
Rating: M 
Running Time: 152 mins 
Unlike many other American sports films, you don't actually need to be invested in the sport to get a lot out of this film. And I know this first hand because I know absolutely nothing about car racing and yet I still thoroughly enjoyed this movie because it is just as much about the dynamic personalities as it is about racing.  Directed by James Mangold and written by Jez Butterworth, Ford v Ferrari received worldwide critical acclaim and appraise and was even nominated for Best Picture at the 92nd Academy Awards. 
In 1963, Enzo Ferrari personally insults Henry Ford's heir - the owner of the Ford Motor Company. In retaliation, a furious Ford Jnr decides to create his own racing division with plans to beat Ferrari at Le Mans. In order to this, they hire former Le Mans winner Carroll Shelby to head the task, who in turn enlists Ken Miles, a hot headed Brit to assist him. 
At 2.5 hours running time you would expect that this film would get boring for anyone that isn't interested in car racing, but nothing could be further from the truth. This is a genuinely interesting real life tale that is delivered perfectly by Matt Damon who plays Shelby and Christian Bale who portrays Miles. The onscreen friendship here is delightful to watch and both actors are bringing their charisma and energy to this movie in buckets, making it a genuinely engrossing and enjoyable watch. 
FINAL SAY: You're gonna build a car to beat Ferrari with....a Ford? 
3.5 Chilli Peppers ​

I recently read a really a beautiful piece of writing called Things My Mother Didn't Tell Me But Should Have by the British poet, author and teacher Warsan Shire. The writing came to me just after I had watched the movie Never Rarely Sometimes Always and it felt like the two forms of art were in some ways almost talking to each other about the challenges of being a young woman in the world today.  I also really loved the piece of writing so much that I just wanted to share it with you all, perhaps it will reach someone at the right moment if I pass it along. 

Never give any kind of pleasure to a boy you wouldn't give to yourself.

Kiss like a promise and wait for the other person to break it. 

Human beings are not ships, you cannot save them from sinking if they don't want to be rescued from the floodwaters. 

Loving someone that doesn't give a damn about you isn't sexy: it's misplaced energy, also known as self-destruction. 

Don't ever treat anyone like a refugee from a civil war; they will come back from battle and leave you as wounded as if you were the one who had been paid for military service.

Forgiveness isn't putting the weapon down; it's learning how to kiss the person pulling the trigger, not just a quick peck on the cheek, but a full one with tongue. 

Let the dead be dead. 
They have no answering machines, no phonelines:
if you call them, only the ground will ring.

Never trust a boy who already packed condoms ready in his coat pocket before he even asks your name.

When the world tries to break your back with its weight, get a stronger spine. 

Your father left us because he was ashamed for not being the one that gave birth to you. 

Even oceans misplace their anchors sometimes. 

Never give a man permission, you shouldn't have to. It should be mutual. 

Stop treating your body like currency - don't pay anyone who doesn't deserve it.  

NEVER RARELY SOMETIMES ALWAYS 
Release Date: 2020
Rating: M
Running Time: 101 mins 
Written and directed by Eliza Hittman, this candid and honest portrayal of a teenagers struggle with an unwanted pregnancy is seriously affecting. After its release at the Sundance Film Festival in January of 2020, Never Rarely Sometimes Always was selected to compete for a Golden Bear Award. The film won the Silver Bear Grand Jury Prize and has since received unanimous acclaim from critics and viewers alike. 
Autumn Callahan is seventeen and has just discovered that she is pregnant. Without anyone to confide in except for her cousin Skylar, the two girls embark on a trip to New York to try and find a solution to Autumn's problem. 
This film is unsettling from start to end, but it is also an extremely realistic portrayal of the challenges and burdens that many young girls face in todays current climate. 
The casting here is perfect with Sidney Flanigan and Talia Ryder delivering believable degrees of strength and fragility in their challenging roles as vulnerable small town girls in the city. The entire film teeters continually between tender and troubling but it also feels so true and genuine; making it powerfully unforgettable.
FINAL SAY: I want to make sure that you're safe. 
4 Chilli Peppers ​

It's no secret that everyone loves a big block bluster movie or even a sleeper hit or some kind of movie that is mainstream and easy and people have heard about it through word of mouth. These types of films can be great and I cannot deny that I really adore it when a movie becomes a sleeper hit in particular. However, there are so many fabulous movies that just slip thought the cracks of people's viewing and get missed all together because not enough people are talking about them.
Well, I am talking about them, constantly! More than likely annoyingly to a lot of people. I would recommend movies to people at last a dozen or more times a week and often people will say things to me like "I haven't even heard of that movie" or "Really? I thought that film looked a bit weird/ strange/ arty / scary for me to see." And it honestly kills me because a huge number of movies that never get seen are absolutely gold, some of the best and they not only deserve to be talked about,  they most definitely deserve to be seen as well.  
Below I have listed my top 10 'You Really Should Be Talking About This Film - and Probably Will Be After You Watch it' for each genre on Spicywatch.com. These are films that are very deserving of your time and attention and in my opinion (for what it's worth) definitely should've gotten a lot more attention than they did. They are not block busters or sleeper hits, they are mostly films that flew under the radar, which means that you could easily have missed them but you really shouldn't have. They are not new, in fact many are old and could probably be streamed on many different platforms for free these days. 
Full reviews can be found on the genre lists should you require more information.
Happy viewing!
DRAMA:

1. Ingrid Goes West 
2. Jungle 
3. Youth 
4. Locke
5. Short Term 12 
6. Don Jon 
7. Eighth Grade 
8. Perfume: The Story of a Murderer
9. Brothers 
10. The Station Agent

​HORROR:

1. The Vigil
2. The Lodge
3. Saint Maud
4. Mandy 
5. Frailty
6. Here Alone
7. A Dark Song
8. The House of the Devil
9. Creep
10. Hell House LLC

ACTION/CRIME/WAR:

1. Uncut Gems
2. The King
3. Good Time
4. The Bad Batch
5. Prisoners
6. End of Watch 
7. Glory
8. Children of Men
9. The Thin Red Line
10. Blood Simple

COMEDY:

1. Instant Family
2. Fighting With My Family
3. The Breaker Upperers
4. Game Night
5. Spy
6. The Grand Seduction
7. In Bruges
8. Son of Rambow
9. Kung Pow! Enter the Fist!
10. Tucker and Dale vs Evil

SCIENCE FICTION/ FANTASY:

1. Save Yourselves!
2. Predestination 
3. Moon
4. Upgrade
5. The Endless
6. Melancholia
7. Ex Machina
8. Under the Skin
9. These Final Hours
10. Sunshine 

ART HOUSE/ MUSICAL/ INTERNATIONAL:

1. The Great Beauty
2. Me and You and Everyone We Know 
3. Once
4. A Ghost Story
5. Black is King 
6. Sightseers
7. Somewhere
8. 20,000 Days on Earth
9. Kung Fu Hustle 
10. Only Lovers Left Alive 

GRITTY/ DOCO/ CHALLENGING

1. Swallow
2. The Nightingale
3. The Tale
4. Chasing Coral
5. The Weight of Elephants
6. Tyrannosaur
7. Dogtooth
8. Metal Skin
9. Birth
10. Fishtank

ROMANCE/ MATTERS OF THE HEART:

1. Film Stars Don't Die in Liverpool
2. Blue Jay
3. What If
4. Man Up
5. The One I Love
6. Bright Star
7. Labor Day
8. Ruby Sparks
9. Chasing Amy
10. Your Sister's Sister

KID FRIENDLY:

1. The Willoughbys
2. Klaus
3. Isle of Dogs
4. The Little Prince
5. Kubo and the Two Strings
6. The Boy and The Beast
7. Paranorman
8. 9
9. Hoodwinked!
10. Hugo 

Everyone has stress in their life from time to time. Some amounts of stress can be good for us, it keeps us alert, aware and on track, but too much stress can have incredibly damaging and long lasting effects on your health and wellbeing. The severity and length that you feel stressed for will depend a lot upon your ability to recognise and acknowledge your symptoms of stress before they can become too big to manage alone. 
Stress can rear it ugly head through many different physical, mental, social or emotional avenues and it will usually begin with a trigger or incident that forces your stress response to kick in.  This is commonly known as the Alarm Reaction Stage. 
The Alarm Reaction Stage refers to the initial symptoms that your body will experience when it is under stress and what you will do on auto-pilot to combat this. You may be familiar with the 'F' responses that people generally engage during the Alarm Reaction Stage. For those of you that aren't familiar with your 'F' responses they usually fit into one of these categories:
Fight - Attacking, confronting, dominating. Being angry and irritable and using insult, blame and the mistreatment of others to deal with stress. 
Flight - Run, hide, quit. Being in denial and anxious and using evasion, sabotage and purposeful rejection to deal with your stress. 
Freeze - Comply, surrender, shutdown. Being numb or empty and using detachment, rationalizing and justification to deal with your stress. 
Face - Challenge and analyse. Being calm and grounded. Using alert, aware and decisive action to deal with your stress. 
Sometimes we may use one or more of these responses when we feel stressed and that is also completely normal. Your body does these things because it is trying to keep you safe. You feel stressed, you feel anxious and your body will kick everything up a notch to keep you out of harms way. Generally before you arrive at the Face response, you will first arrive at the Resistance Stage which comes right after the Alarm Reaction Stage. 
In the Resistance Stage, after the initial shock of a stressful event and your 'F' response, your body will begin to attempt to repair itself.  It will release a lower amount of cortisol and your heart rate and blood pressure will normalize. Although your body will be in recovery, you will still be functioning on high alert. If the stressful situation diminishes your body will continue to heal itself until you are back to normal. However, if stress continues in this phase your body will attempt to learn to live with higher levels of stress and will go through changes that you're unaware of, in attempt to cope. Your body will continue to secrete the stress hormone and your blood pressure will remain elevated. You will feel irritable, frustrated and will struggle to concentrate on things. After a while you will enter the third stage of stress response - The Exhaustion Stage. 
The Exhaustion Stage is the result of prolonged or chronic stress. You will feel drained physically, emotionally and mentally to the point where your body no longer has the strength to engage your 'F' responses. You will suffer complete hopelessness and display fatigue, burnout, depression, high anxiety and an overall decreased ability to deal with even the smallest amounts of stress. Your immune system will be weakened and you'll be more prone to illness, serious diseases and ailments. 
So.... Clearly we need to have the resources and skills to be able to engage our Face 'F' response early on when dealing with a stressful scenario in order to minimise the impact to our health and wellbeing. And although it's not possible to eliminate all stress from our lives, there are things that we can do to minimise the impact that stress can have on us. 
I believe that it's vital that everyone has a sound tool kit of ways to deal with their stress, and that is going to look a little different for everyone.  Acknowledging, recognising and regularly evaluating your stress levels is a key way to ensure that you are managing your stresses before they get too large. If you do suffer from stress indicators, then it's vital that you give yourself adequate time to repair and recover during the Resistance Stage before you enter the Exhaustion Stage. 
Look at what is causing the stress that you have in your life and evaluate your need to continue with this event or action. What can you do to change things for the better? If you find that you cannot eliminate your stress then you will need to investigate methods of stress management with a health care professional which may include exercise, medication, diet, meditation and deep breathing exercises. But, whatever you do don't give up on your attempts to improve your responses to stress and do not let stress rule your life. Remember that some stress is normal but too much is not and you don't want to be a slave to your stress responses. 

Sometimes things don't turn out the way that we hoped they would.  And one of the hardest things to accept in this life (for me) is disappointment. Usually when things or people disappoint me I get quite depressed about it and then end up feeling disappointed in myself. It's a vicious cycle that I have identified within myself and every time that I go through this, it leaves me feeling extremely flat and drained. 
Unfortunately, this week I have arrived at this station. It's not a station that I have arrived at over the last year or so because I have made so many consistent and valiant efforts to prioritise my own wellbeing and mental wellness, so I am actually really disappointed to find myself here again. However, in spite of all of my hard work to remain positive and mindful since I had my operation this time last year, my wellspring of positivity has run dry for the first time. 
It actually pains me to say this, but I feel as though I have completely run dry. I feel tired and overwhelmed and teary. I feel let down by the people around me. I feel taken for granted and stretched out. I feel alone, despondent and lost. And most of all I feel really, really angry at myself for feeling any of these things because none of these things are genuine or true and my rational thinking mind knows that but for some reason my heart aches and my soul is uneasy. I am melancholic and some ghostly feelings of wanted to flee are rising within me again and I have to fight the urge to run. 
The strangest part of all are the weird dreams that I am having about dying. I have been having a reoccurring dream where I look down at myself mid-dream and suddenly realise that I am haemorrhaging buckets and buckets of blood onto the ground without even knowing that I am cut or injured. And this blood appears to be coming from deep within me but I don't know how it started or why I am even bleeding. As you would image these dreams are desperately upsetting and I always wake up from them in a state of shock. 
Are these dreams associated with my feelings of emptiness and despondency? More than likely, and perhaps these feelings of emptiness are being presented to remind me of just how full and abundant my life really is. Perhaps the blood is symbolic of my life force draining away without me even realising it was; perhaps this drain has been happening for a while and I have only now become aware of it because the well has ran dry.
​Benjamin Franklin once said - When the well's dry, we know the worth of water. And this is so very true because we do take our health and wellbeing for granted, especially our support people and our security and it is not until they are removed that we get a very clear picture of what it feels like to be without them.  Just as Johnny Diesel once sang 'you never miss your water 'til you're dry.' And now that my well feels like it has dried up I need to dig deeper to find some wet earth again and to reignite the flow of positive energy. 
One thing that all of my self help endeavours has given to me is the knowledge to understand that no state, no matter how glum or all-encompassing it may feel, is permanent or unchangeable. I also know that it is completely normal and very human to stumble and fall every now and again. It is what keeps us balanced and grateful and aware that nothing is forever, guaranteed or without its flaws and fragilities.
So if I want to cry I shall and if I want to rest I shall and if I need to heal I will. I will do these things in my own time and at my own pace; for only I can colour my rainbow, etch my silver lining and refill my own wellspring. I am responsible for me, my wellbeing and my mindset and I do not have to hold on to any of these thoughts or feelings, I just have to open my hand and let them go and the well will begin to flow again. 
​It's time to exhale completely.... and then inhale again. 

THE DRY 
Release Date: 2020
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 117 mins
An Australian drama mystery based on the novel of the same name by Jane Harper and a sweet return to great Australian cinema for me. It's been a while since I have seen such an excellent depiction of the harsh, dry Aussie landscape and The Dry manages to captures it; and the attitudes of small rural communities in Victoria with a plausible authenticity. 
Federal Agent Aaron Falk (Eric Bana) returns to his home town under the request of his childhood friend's parents. They are seeking Falk's help in the investigation around their son's death and the strange and unsettling circumstances that surround it. Falk reluctantly tries to solve the mystery of the heinous crime but finds himself dragged back into another local drama that forced him to flee the town many years ago. 
Eric Bana is brilliant as Falk and it was so good to see him back on screen again after such a long hiatus. He is well supported by Genevieve O'Reilly, John Polson and Miranda Tapsell but it cannot be denied that The Dry  is definitely held up by Bana's performance. 
Amidst the complexities of the crimes being unveiled throughout the film are some really solid messages about small town loyalties and the need for secrecy and acceptance in tight knit rural communities. The struggles of the farmers and labourers are also touched upon and the unforgiving and dangerous Aussie landscape provides a perfectly formidable backdrop to all of the drama.
FINAL SAY: The biggest secrets can never stay hidden. 
3 Chilli Peppers ​

After a 441 day hiatus, the longest gap to date, the 93rd Annual Academy Awards finally occurred last Sunday evening. I have now watched nearly all of the awards ceremony for 2021 - The Golden Globes, The Emmys, the BAFTAs and now the Oscars as well and it would be very fair to say the nominations and winners were all very consistent and obviously extremely deserving. 
The MTV awards and Tony's haven't happened yet if you're still thirsty for more awards ceremonies and late May will also bring Eurovision back into our lives if you're hungry for something completely fresh and unique. 
However for now I still have a few things to catch up on watching from the winners lists and I am taking a couple of weeks off award shows because I feel like I have tortured my family enough this year.
I do have to admit that I am currently deeply obsessed with all things Montaigne after seeing her live earlier this year and I will definitely be watching the Eurovision awards because she is representing Australia this year in the competition. 
Here is the line up for the EUROVISION airing times in Australia if like me, you're interested and a little Montaigne obsessed as well. 
Semi-Final 1 – Friday 21 May, 8.30pm (AEST), SBS -FEATURING MONTAIGNE
Semi-Final 2 – Saturday 22 May, 8.30pm (AEST), SBS
Grand Final – Sunday 23 May, 7.30pm (AEST), SBS

And just in case you missed all of the Academy Award action, here is the full list of 2021 Oscar nominations and winners:
Best Actor in a Leading Role
Riz Ahmed (“Sound of Metal”)
Chadwick Boseman (“Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom”)
Anthony Hopkins (“The Father”) (WINNER)
Gary Oldman (“Mank”)
Steven Yeun (“Minari”)

​Best Actress in a Leading Role
Viola Davis (“Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom”)
Andra Day (“The United States v. Billie Holiday”)
Vanessa Kirby (“Pieces of a Woman”)
Frances McDormand (“Nomadland”) (WINNER)
Carey Mulligan (“Promising Young Woman”)

Best Picture
“The Father” (David Parfitt, Jean-Louis Livi and Philippe Carcassonne, producers)
“Judas and the Black Messiah” (Shaka King, Charles D. King and Ryan Coogler, producers)
“Mank” (Ceán Chaffin, Eric Roth and Douglas Urbanski, producers)
“Minari” (Christina Oh, producer)
“Nomadland” (Frances McDormand, Peter Spears, Mollye Asher, Dan Janvey and Chloé Zhao, producers) (WINNER) 
“Promising Young Woman” (Ben Browning, Ashley Fox, Emerald Fennell and Josey McNamara, producers)
“Sound of Metal” (Bert Hamelinck and Sacha Ben Harroche, producers)
“The Trial of the Chicago 7” (Marc Platt and Stuart Besser, producers)

Best Original Song
“Fight for You,” (“Judas and the Black Messiah”). Music by H.E.R. and Dernst Emile II; Lyric by H.E.R. and Tiara Thomas (WINNER)
“Hear My Voice,” (“The Trial of the Chicago 7”). Music by Daniel Pemberton; Lyric by Daniel Pemberton and Celeste Waite
“Húsavík,” (“Eurovision Song Contest”). Music and Lyric by Savan Kotecha, Fat Max Gsus and Rickard Göransson
“Io Si (Seen),” (“The Life Ahead”). Music by Diane Warren; Lyric by Diane Warren and Laura Pausini
“Speak Now,” (“One Night in Miami”). Music and Lyric by Leslie Odom, Jr. and Sam Ashworth

Best Original Score
“Da 5 Bloods,” Terence Blanchard
“Mank,” Trent Reznor, Atticus Ross
“Minari,” Emile Mosseri
“News of the World,” James Newton Howard
“Soul,” Trent Reznor, Atticus Ross, Jon Batiste (WINNER)
Best Film Editing“The Father,” Yorgos Lamprinos
“Nomadland,” Chloé Zhao
“Promising Young Woman,” Frédéric Thoraval
“Sound of Metal,” Mikkel E.G. Nielsen (WINNER)
“The Trial of the Chicago 7,” Alan Baumgarten

Best Cinematography
“Judas and the Black Messiah,” Sean Bobbitt
“Mank,” Erik Messerschmidt (WINNER)
“News of the World,” Dariusz Wolski
“Nomadland,” Joshua James Richards
“The Trial of the Chicago 7,” Phedon Papamichael

Best Production Design
“The Father.” Production Design: Peter Francis; Set Decoration: Cathy Featherstone
“Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom.” Production Design: Mark Ricker; Set Decoration: Karen O’Hara and Diana Stoughton
“Mank.” Production Design: Donald Graham Burt; Set Decoration: Jan Pascale (WINNER)
“News of the World.” Production Design: David Crank; Set Decoration: Elizabeth Keenan
“Tenet.” Production Design: Nathan Crowley; Set Decoration: Kathy Lucas

Best Actress in a Supporting Role
Maria Bakalova (‘Borat Subsequent Moviefilm”)
Glenn Close (“Hillbilly Elegy”)
Olivia Colman (“The Father”)
Amanda Seyfried (“Mank”)
Yuh-Jung Youn (“Minari”) (WINNER)

Best Visual Effects
“Love and Monsters,” Matt Sloan, Genevieve Camilleri, Matt Everitt and Brian Cox
“The Midnight Sky,” Matthew Kasmir, Christopher Lawrence, Max Solomon and David Watkins
“Mulan,” Sean Faden, Anders Langlands, Seth Maury and Steve Ingram
“The One and Only Ivan,” Nick Davis, Greg Fisher, Ben Jones and Santiago Colomo Martinez
“Tenet,” Andrew Jackson, David Lee, Andrew Lockley and Scott Fisher (WINNER)

Best Documentary Feature
“Collective,” Alexander Nanau and Bianca Oana
“Crip Camp,” Nicole Newnham, Jim LeBrecht and Sara Bolder
“The Mole Agent,” Maite Alberdi and Marcela Santibáñez
“My Octopus Teacher,” Pippa Ehrlich, James Reed and Craig Foster (WINNER)
“Time,” Garrett Bradley, Lauren Domino and Kellen Quinn

Best Documentary Short Subject
“Colette,” Anthony Giacchino and Alice Doyard (WINNER)
“A Concerto Is a Conversation,” Ben Proudfoot and Kris Bowers
“Do Not Split,” Anders Hammer and Charlotte Cook
“Hunger Ward,” Skye Fitzgerald and Michael Scheuerman
“A Love Song for Latasha,” Sophia Nahli Allison and Janice Duncan

Best Animated Feature Film
“Onward” (Pixar)
“Over the Moon” (Netflix)
“A Shaun the Sheep Movie: Farmageddon” (Netflix)
“Soul” (Pixar) (WINNER)
“Wolfwalkers” (Apple TV Plus/GKIDS)

Best Animated Short Film
“Burrow” (Disney Plus/Pixar)
“Genius Loci” (Kazak Productions)
“If Anything Happens I Love You” (Netflix) (WINNER)
“Opera” (Beasts and Natives Alike)
“Yes-People” (CAOZ hf. Hólamói)

Best Live-Action Short Film
“Feeling Through”
“The Letter Room”
“The Present”
“Two Distant Strangers” (WINNER)
“White Eye”

Best Sound
“Greyhound,” Warren Shaw, Michael Minkler, Beau Borders and David Wyman
“Mank,” Ren Klyce, Jeremy Molod, David Parker, Nathan Nance and Drew Kunin
“News of the World,” Oliver Tarney, Mike Prestwood Smith, William Miller and John Pritchett
“Soul,” Ren Klyce, Coya Elliott and David Parker
“Sound of Metal,” Nicolas Becker, Jaime Baksht, Michelle Couttolenc, Carlos Cortés and Phillip Bladh (WINNER)

Best Director
Thomas Vinterberg (“Another Round”)
David Fincher (“Mank”)
Lee Isaac Chung (“Minari”)
Chloé Zhao (“Nomadland”) (WINNER)
Emerald Fennell (“Promising Young Woman”)

Best Costume Design
“Emma,” Alexandra Byrne
“Mank,” Trish Summerville
“Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom,” Ann Roth (WINNER)
“Mulan,” Bina Daigeler
“Pinocchio,” Massimo Cantini Parrini

Best Makeup and Hairstyling
“Emma,” Marese Langan, Laura Allen, Claudia Stolze
“Hillbilly Elegy,” Eryn Krueger Mekash, Patricia Dehaney, Matthew Mungle
“Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom,” Sergio Lopez-Rivera, Mia Neal, Jamika Wilson (WINNER)
“Mank,” Kimberley Spiteri, Gigi Williams, Colleen LaBaff
“Pinocchio,” Mark Coulier, Dalia Colli, Francesco Pegoretti

Best Actor in a Supporting Role
Sacha Baron Cohen (“The Trial of the Chicago 7”)
Daniel Kaluuya (“Judas and the Black Messiah”) (WINNER)
Leslie Odom Jr. (“One Night in Miami”)
Paul Raci (“Sound of Metal”)
Lakeith Stanfield (“Judas and the Black Messiah”)

Best International Feature Film
“Another Round” (Denmark) (WINNER)
“Better Days” (Hong Kong)
“Collective” (Romania)
“The Man Who Sold His Skin” (Tunisia)
“Quo Vadis, Aida?” (Bosnia and Herzegovina)

Best Adapted Screenplay
“Borat Subsequent Moviefilm.” Screenplay by Sacha Baron Cohen, Anthony Hines, Dan Swimer, Peter Baynham, Erica Rivinoja, Dan Mazer, Jena Friedman, Lee Kern; Story by Sacha Baron Cohen, Anthony Hines, Dan Swimer, Nina Pedrad
“The Father,” Christopher Hampton and Florian Zeller (WINNER)
“Nomadland,” Chloé Zhao
“One Night in Miami,” Kemp Powers
“The White Tiger,” Ramin Bahrani

Best Original Screenplay
“Judas and the Black Messiah.” Screenplay by Will Berson, Shaka King; Story by Will Berson, Shaka King, Kenny Lucas, Keith Lucas
“Minari,” Lee Isaac Chung
“Promising Young Woman,” Emerald Fennell (WINNER)
“Sound of Metal.” Screenplay by Darius Marder, Abraham Marder; Story by Darius Marder, Derek Cianfrance
“The Trial of the Chicago 7,” Aaron Sorkin

HILLBILLY ELEGY
Release Date: 2020
Rating: M 
Running Time: 116 mins 
An American drama directed by Ron Howard and based on the 2016 memoir of the same name by J. D. Vance. Released on Netflix and met with mixed reviews, Hillbilly Elegy's short comings are greatly elevated by the award worthy performances of Glenn Close and Amy Adams. 
J. D. Vance, a young Yale law student, is pulled back in to the dramatics of his old life when he returns to his home town to deal with a family crisis. Upon returning J.D. reflects on the potential outcomes of his own life and the lives of the generations of his family before him. 
This is very much a tale about choosing your own destiny and escaping destructive family cycles. The performances are really strong which adds a lot of levity and merit to the tale overall and contrary to the very tepid reviews that it received, I genuinely enjoyed this film. I thought that this film actually delivered a plausible and compassionate depiction of a small town, low socio-economic family and the challenges that they faced together because of their station in life. Don't be put off by the reviews, Hillbilly Elegy is definitely worth a look. 
FINAL SAY: You got to decide, you want to be somebody or not?
3 Chilli Peppers ​

I'd love to say that the Easter bunny brought a delightful harvest of chocolates to our home, and although we were given an array of lovely nibbles, no-one really felt much like eating any of them because we had an insidious bout of gastro hit our home the week before Easter. And it wasn't just a 24 hour bug either, it was a real 'hang-er-on-er' virus that managed to linger in our home for days and days, making everyone in the house feel generally lethargic, crampy, miserable and very uninterested in food for the days leading up to Easter, during the Easter long weekend and for a few days after as well.
Hardly the nicest way to start your Easter holiday break but at least I didn't have to worry about being at work or looking even somewhat presentable because I have basically schlumped about the house like bag lady for the last couple of days in the most unkempt of states and I am now looking forward to getting out of the house and out of my own way as soon as possible. The lack of exercise and inability to drink much water (due to the fact that everything nauseates me)  has made me feel gross and as flat as a pancake, and not a delicious whipped cream, maple syrup topped kind of a pancake, more like that first test run pancake that you make to check if the pan is hot enough. You know the one I mean, it's half cooked, misshapen and usually ends up on the back lawn for the birds to reluctantly peck away at, that is the kind of flat pancake that I have felt like recently. A shithouse one!
Thankfully tomorrow I have a really good excuse to pull my shit together because I have a spa day planned with the ladies. a full on treat yourself day.  We have had this day planned since the Easter break in 2020, but due to COVID-19 were unable to make it actually come to fruition until now, so this is a long awaited and much anticipated spa day out in Daylesford. I can not wait! I am so keen for a decent massage that I am not even concerned about everyone seeing me in a swimsuit in the mineral pools and saunas, I couldn't care less.
However, I am going to need a serious de-fuzzing this evening before I even consider wearing my swimmers in a public place because I look like a yeti from the waist down. And now that I come to think of it, I don't think that my bathers have even seen the light of day since I went snorkelling in Vanuatu, which is almost 18 months ago now, so I'd better check that they are still decent enough to be worn at a public spa facility.  Saltwater can really deteriorate a swimsuit over time, imagine if I put them on the morning and my whole ass was hanging out! Hilarious for me, really not comfortable for my friends or any other poor sod who happens to be at the spa, so yeah I'd better check that out ahead of time. 
Anyway, Easter wasn't a total wash out. I did get to spend Easter Sunday with my family and although I didn't feel like feasting, I did have an excuse to slam the couch and binge watch a few TV series and films over the long weekend and I did get gifted some mighty fine and delicious treats which I know that I am going to really enjoy when I get an appetite back. At the moment I am still on a BRAT diet. The old Banana, Rice, Applesauce and Toast routine that is generally the only safe thing to eat after you've been a blast ended skrewt and had a gastric virus.  It's an old remedy, but it totally works and restores your gut back to full health pretty quickly if you can stick to it. I want to enjoy spa day tomorrow, so I have stuck to it and it's worked for me. I am feeling completely well today, so I'm sticking to the BRAT diet for one more day just to be sure. Anyway, I better go check out my swim cozy and defuzz myself because tomorrow I am going to have the best day out in the sunshine with my friends! It will be the best post- Easter gift to myself that I've ever had!

THE KING OF STATEN ISLAND 
Release Date: 2020
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 136 mins 
An American drama/ comedy directed by Judd Apatow and adapted from one of Apatow's screenplays. The King of Staten Island delivers something that is both objectionable and yet also tender and poignant. And I know that sounds strange but trust me when I say that you will feel annoyed, angry, upset, tearful and even a little sympathetic for the characters as you join them on this interesting journey that can really only be described as a belated coming of age tale.
Ever since his firefighter father died in a tragic incident when he was seven, Scott has had an overwhelming case of arrested development. As a 24 year old adult he is lazy, un-motivated, self indulgent and has a serious addiction to marijuana and not owning his own shit. When he burns all of his bridges and suddenly finds himself homeless, Scott is finally forced to re-evaluate his life choices.
The cast is tremendously good here with Pete Davidson shining as Scott Carlin, Marisa Tomei delivering as his long suffering mother Margie, Bill Burr believably filling the role of the would be step-father and Steve Buscemi showing his age in a dignified manner as Papa, the mature aged fire fighter. 
The King of Staten Island not only addresses the impact of loss and despondency but also the impact that long-term adolescence has on everyone around the perpetrator. It's a genuinely powerful tale about our modern age and a more reflective offering from Apatow than I have seen before. 
FINAL SAY: We're like the only place that New Jersey looks down on.
​3.5 Chilli Peppers ​

I have been on more than my fair share of great holidays. I have been on planes, trains, ships, trams, boats, buses and even elephants as a means to get around, but I have to say that some of the best holidays that I have ever had in my life have involved road tripping. There is nothing like a road trip to get your senses going and your interests flowing and in my opinion, road tripping may well be the best way to spend your holiday time. 
A road trip gives you loads more time to reflect, stop and smell the flowers. You can literally pull over and get your fill of the landscape at any time. And unlike being stuck in a tour group or on some other vessel that is just going from A to B, a road trip allows you to go at your own pace and take as many detours as you like. Every road sign is a potential adventure and an opportunity to take in something new or explore another area.
You don't have to go far to have a road trip adventure either. A road trip can last a day, a weekend, a week, a month or however long you want to take your holiday for. You can pursue a road trip in your own country (Australia has the best road trip opportunities - so blessed here) or you can plan to travel abroad. Craig and I road tripped from Germany to Italy in a car and it was nothing short of amazing, we also road tripped France and England together, we've taken our family and road tripped across the North Island of New Zealand and I have done short road trips to Sydney and Canberra with my kids as well and I can honestly say that all of those holidays were easily some of the best that we have ever had. 
Another great thing about road tripping is that it is a cheaper and more convenient form of travel than any other transport and as long as your car is in pretty good working order, it's super easy as well. Just fill up your tank and go, any day at any time. You can literally head off at any given moment to explore the countryside and decide where to stay as you go. We usually stay at Airbnb's which is generally a pretty cheap option, but if you've got a caravan or an RV, well that's even easier and cheaper as well.
The thing that I love best about a road tripping is the complete freedom of it. I love blasting my favourite playlists and singing up my tunes, making memories and sharing special moments with my family, operating outside of any schedules or work commitments and just being in the moment 100%. An open and unknown road really can give you all of that. And let's not forget that incredible feeling that you get when you come home after a couple of weeks on the road and you have totally reinvigorated your awareness around how amazing your life and your home actually are. A road trip definitely heightens your awareness, not only to the amazing adventures that you've enjoyed but also around how incredible it is to return to the comfort of your home after the fact. 
Yes, I really do love to go road tripping and having adventures on the holidays, but for me there really is no place like home, and for that reason I know that I am definitely not made for a full time nomadic existence, no matter how much the open road beckons to me. 

NOMADLAND
Release Date: 2021
Rating: M 
Running Time: 107 mins 
An American drama film written, edited, produced and directed by Chloé Zhao and based on the 2017 non-fiction book Nomadland: Surviving America in the Twenty-First Century by Jessica Bruder. I think that being based on a non-fiction book has made this movie feel very authentic, in fact the entire movie plays out just as a documentary would. There are even real life nomads (Linda May, Swankie and Bob Wells) all portraying fictionized versions of themselves here which really adds a lot of depth and credence to the tale. 
Over the course of a year we follow Fern (Frances McDormand), a reclusive nomadic woman who is mourning the loss of her husband and traveling across America in an old camper van. Along the way we experience the highs and lows of Fern's voyage through the people that she encounters on the road, the impermanent work that she undertakes and the places that she visits along the way. 
Nomadland won the Best Motion Picture - Drama and Best Director awards at the 78th Golden Globe Awards, however I think that it is the incredible sweeping landscapes and cinematography that make this film truly unmissable.  I definitely recommend viewing Nomadland on a big screen if you can,  however be warned, the lure to jump into an RV and hit the open road is somewhat overwhelming and you may find yourself planning your next road trip after seeing this. 
FINAL SAY: I'll see you down the road.
4 Chilli Peppers ​

March has kicked off with a flurry of celebration, festivity and fun. Since I last posted things have been hectic in the most delightful of ways. Last weekend Zoe and Ben joined us in Ballarat for a belated Chinese New Year dinner celebration on Saturday evening and then we all attended Summer Salt together on the following Sunday. I cannot even begin to tell you how much joy live music brought back to my life on that day. You really do forget just how marvellous it feels to be in a huge crowd of people all singing together and getting into the vibe of it on a brilliant sun-shiny day. It honestly rejuvenated me in ways that I cannot even explain in words, it was just so damn good for my soul!
The line up of performers was stellar and everyone that performed was clearly just as happy to be in front of a live audience again as much as we were all glad to be back in a crowd of adoring fans. We all greatly enjoyed Nat Vazer, Montaigne, Boy and Bear, John Butler, The Teskey Brothers and The Cat Empire together, sank a few drinks and swayed to the music as the sun went down on a day that none of us will forget in a hurry.  It was a wonderful way to farewell the Summer, share some time with loved ones and reconnect to the electric energy that you can only get from large music festivals once again. 
On Monday night I hit the couch to take in the 2021 Golden Globe Awards which was a bit of an understated event due to the COVID-19 restrictions. However, all things considered I still watched it all, enjoyed seeing all of the cast and crew in their own homes (some looking more glamorous than others) and was genuinely not at all surprised by the outcomes (listed below).  I think that my favourite recipient of the evening was Sacha Baron Cohen  who deservingly won Best actor and Best Motion Picture in a musical/ comedy motion picture for Borat Subsequent Moviefilm.  I think that Baron Cohen may be one of the most interesting and intriguing people on the planet to me right now, and he never fails to make me smile when he is on screen. 
This weekend, also the March labour day long weekend, I hit the highway on Friday night and headed to Zoe and Ben's in Bendigo to attend a weekend yoga festival. I absolutely love yoga, but I gotta say that after being in downward facing dog for the better part of 5 odd hours on Saturday, when I arose on Sunday morning I felt pretty stiff and was feeling the burn in some muscles that I didn't know even know that I had anymore. However, it was an awesome couple of days of getting zen, stretching, meditating, eating great food and spending time with my beautiful daughter and her partner. I even got to take in the Artists market, Farmers market and Mill Market in Castlemaine on Sunday on the way home, so I came home with a swag of goodies and even managed to get some early Easter shopping done as well. 
Today I have quietly spent International Women's Day resting and rebooting my system for the week ahead and reflecting on how wonderful my last few weeks have been. I can't even express how genuinely grateful I am to have been able to enjoy all of these special moments and quality time with the people that I love so much, it has really been a time of great celebration and enjoyment for me. Here's hoping that I can keep this high vibe of mine rolling for the rest of the term; I got the momentum going now, so I say - let's just keep on rolling....
2021 Golden Globe winners
Best motion picture, drama
Nomadland 

Best actress in a motion picture, drama
Andra Day, The United States vs. Billie Holiday 

Best actor in a motion picture, musical or comedy
Sacha Baron Cohen, Borat Subsequent Moviefilm 

Best motion picture, musical or comedy
Borat Subsequent Moviefilm

 Best director, motion picture
Chloe Zhao, Nomadland

Best actor in a motion picture, drama
Chadwick Boseman, Ma Rainey's Black Bottom

Best limited series or TV movie
The Queen's Gambit 

Best actress in a limited series or TV movie​
Anya Taylor-Joy, The Queen's Gambit 

Best supporting actress in a TV role
Gillian Anderson, The Crown 

Best actress in a supporting role in any motion picture​
Jodie Foster, The Mauritanian 

Best TV series, drama
The Crown 

Best motion picture, foreign language​
Minari (USA) 

Best actor in a TV series, drama​
Josh O'Connor, The Crown 

Best actress in a motion picture, musical or comedy
Rosamund Pike, I Care a Lot 

Best TV series, musical or comedy​
Schitt's Creek

Best actor in a TV series, musical or comedy​
Jason Sudeikis, Ted Lasso 

​Best original score, motion picture
Trent Reznor, Atticus Ross and Jon Batiste - Soul

Best original song, motion picture​
Io Si (Seen), The Life Ahead 

Best actress in a TV series, drama​
Emma Corrin, The Crown

Best screenplay, motion picture​
Aaron Sorkin, The Trial of the Chicago 7 

Best actor in a limited series or TV movie
Mark Ruffalo, I Know This Much is True  

Best motion picture, animated​
Soul 

Best actress in a TV series, musical or comedy​
Catherine O'Hara, Schitt's Creek

Best supporting actor in a TV role
John Boyega, Small Axe 

Best actor in a supporting role in any motion picture
Daniel Kaluuya, Judas and the Black Messiah 

THE TRIAL OF THE CHICAGO 7
Release Date: 2020
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 130 mins 
An historical real-life drama written and directed by Aaron Sorkin and released on Netflix due to the COVID-19 pandemic. The Trial of the Chicago 7 went on to receive wide critical acclaim for its excellent screenplay, stellar performances and its modern parallels to the 1960s. 
Seven men find themselves on trial for various charges surrounding the uprising at the 1968 Democratic National Convention in Chicago, Illinois. 
This is one of the most interesting and engaging courtroom dramas that I have seen in an age and the incredible cast are really bringing out their best here. Sacha Baron Cohen practically steals the show in every scene that he is in and even landed himself a Golden Globe nomination for Best Supporting Actor due to his amazing performance. However it must be said that the cast is across the board, with incredible and notable performances delivered from Eddie Redmayne, Alex Sharp, Jeremy Strong, John Carroll Lynch, Yahya Abdul-Mateen II, Mark Rylance, Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Frank Langella. 
The Trial of the Chicago 7 is a dramatization of a significantly important event that not only resonates with current political events but also demonstrates the power and passion of the people when it comes to human rights. 
FINAL SAY: We carried ideas across state lines. Not machine guns or drugs or little girls. Ideas. 
4 Chilli Peppers ​

The sad truth about the world is that not everyone is lovely. Not everyone is kind, generous or looking out for your best interests. The reality is that there are an unfortunate number of not very nice people in this world and we will unfortunately all experience them from time to time. However, if you can spot these shady characters early enough, you can save yourself a lot of unnecessary heartache and stress by avoiding their dramatics and not getting dragged into their very calculating and effective methods. Meeting these people is one thing but having them constantly in your life is a whole other thing, so early detection is vital when it comes to self preservation. 
Here are the top six personality types that I personally find the most toxic and hard to deal with. You are definitely going to encounter these people in your lifetime, they're going to pop up in all walks of life. And although I wouldn't encourage you to go around naming and shaming people that fall into these categories, I do believe that you should actively attempt to avoid encouraging them into your life if you wish to maintain a happy balance and rewarding healthy relationships.
Let's take a closer look at the dirty half dozen!
THE NARCISSIST:
The narcissist really only cares about themselves. They have an inflated sense of self importance and they lack empathy towards others. They yearn to be admired and therefore are unable to accept any form of criticism. They are also dreadful listeners, so they won't remember the things you tell them. Narcissists will often seek relationships with people that are co-dependant, thus allowing them to maintain power and control. People will often describe them as cocky, manipulative, selfish, patronizing and demanding. 
​THE CONTROLLER:
This person likes to be in control of everything. They are micro-managers and gas lighters who make you feel like you can't get anything right. They will struggle greatly to admit when they make a mistake or do something wrong themselves. They will force their beliefs in an almost dictator like fashion and have little tolerance for people who don't follow their standards or 'toe the line.' People will describe them as intolerant, stressful, hypocritical and hypercritical. 
THE DRAMA MAGNET:
This person is a gossip. They love to talk about other people and cannot be trusted to maintain your confidence. If they hear it, they will repeat it, even if it means sacrificing relationships. They are compulsively driven and drawn to drama everywhere that they go and trouble seems to follow them, but really they are the ones creating it. They will put you in uncomfortable positions and try to drag you into their dramas. People will describe them as hard work, overly dramatic, difficult and unreliable. 
THE ENERGY VAMPIRE:
Ever walked away from a conversation feeling completely drained? Then you have met an energy vampire. They zap your energy with their negative rants and overwhelming need to make everything about them. They almost seem to feed off negative energy and will continuously make stupid or bad choices in life so that they can constantly play the victim card. They love to criticise and can often be bullies that will attempt to coerce your feelings and emotions over to their way of thinking.  People will describe them as mean, critical, dark and unfriendly. 
THE COMPULSIVE LIAR:
Compulsive lying is sometimes called pathological lying; its a serious anxiety disorder and people with this condition will lie about matters big and small. They will fabricate lies that are both black and white and struggle to be honest with everyone around them. A compulsive liar is often covering up a deeply sensitive psyche that cannot handle rejection so they use lying as a way to manipulate and control situations to their advantage. People around them will call them inconsistent, dramatic, untrustworthy and odd. 
THE GREEN EYED MONSTER:
This person seems to be unable to be happy for others and is never excited to hear about the achievements or good fortune of others.  They love to play the victim card and will often over-ride other people's happy tales with stories of woe about themselves. It doesn't matter what is happening, the green eyed monster has done it harder, had it worse or can minimise anyone else's grief or joy so that it seems pale or insignificant in comparison to their own experiences. People will describe them as negative, closed minded, catastrophising and troublesome. 

So there you have it, the dirty half dozen. The six hardest and most manipulating characters to avoid if you want to keep misery and strife of your life, which you know we all do! 

MISERY
Release Date: 1990
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 107 mins 
A psychological thriller directed by Rob Reiner and based on the 1987 Stephen King novel of the same name. Misery was one of the first horror novels that I ever read as a teenager and I can assure you that none of the thrills or chills have been lost in this film adaption. 
Famous novelist Paul Sheldon has a car accident on a remote road during a wild blizzard and is thankfully rescued by a nurse named Annie Wilkes. Anne is extremely excited when she discovers that Paul is the writer of her favourite book series based on the adventures of a character called Misery Chastain. Annie insists on helping Paul back to health in her own home and encourages him to write his next novel whilst his injuries mend. However, Paul soon realises that Annie is not just a fan of the Misery series but rather a full blown obsessed loon who will stop at nothing to get the next instalment of her favourite book series.
Misery is greatly enhanced by the brilliant acting performances with James Caan and Kathy Bates both delivering a convincing and disturbingly nail biting, edge of your seat thriller that will have you shouting out in shock and despair. This is a top notch thriller that shouldn't be missed. 
FINAL SAY: Annie, whatever you're thinking of doing, please don't do it.
3.5 Chilli Peppers ​

Another five day lockdown has been enforced for the state of Victoria, which is now the third of its kind and the first for 2021. A very large part of me was strongly hoping and dare I say it....praying, that the days of formal lockdowns were finally behind us. With the vaccine on the way I even allowed myself to feel a bit of release from all of the COVID-19 worries and concerns, but obviously I was wrong. 
When your state Premiere calls a full lockdown that will start in less than 12 hours, you do tend to get nervous, very nervous. And it would be fair to say that some people did appear to go into instant shock, spontaneous worry and some even went right back into toilet paper hording mode as well.  And although this can only be described as inconvenient for most of us, for some us this five day lockdown is actually deeply problematic. 
If you had a wedding or funeral to attend this weekend than this recent lockdown would've been devastating. If you had tickets for an event or had a big soiree planned then this would be fricken' annoying and if you are the sort of person that plays out a million worse case scenarios when things like this occur then this would be a seriously disturbing time for you.  I am pretty certain that there have been a billion inconveniences created by yet another lockdown. 
However, let's try to flip this and find some positives. Firstly, this new, mutant, highly contagious mother load COVID strain that is currently getting around is a killer - even more then the original strain and that's the one that we are locking down for. Worth doing? Yes, it's worth doing, we all know that isolation saves lives, so we are doing our bit to take care of ourselves and others when we comply to these lockdown scenarios. I have faith that Dan Andrews and his medical advisory team wouldn't make this call unless it was imperative and in our best interests, so okay, I'm going with the flow there.
Secondly, at this stage it is only five days. Now I know that's easy to say when I'm not missing out or sacrificing anything major and I don't want to minimize anyone else's struggle, but for most of us - ITS ONLY 5 DAYS - get over it! After being in lockdown for months, this feels like a walk in the park, very manageable and totally okay for the most part. Fingers crossed that it doesn't turn out to be more than 5 days now that I've said all that, but at this moment, I'm going with what I know. 
Also, for a lot of people this latest lockdown will actually just look like a five day weekend.  Not for everyone of course and definitely not for me, but for some people this is going to be a high five moment where a little lockdown time just offers them the chance to rest, reboot and restart their engines for 2021. And to those people I say - you lucky bastards! Enjoy the time  and be gracious and respectful about the way that you have received the time because this is not a time of celebration for everyone. 
And if you still can't find a positive from any of that, then I suggest that you spend some time focusing on the things that you can control  rather than the things that you cannot. What the hell does that mean? Well, I mean rather than getting all worked up over the latest state of affairs which you have absolutely no power or control over anyway, why don't you turn your thoughts around onto yourself and consider the things that you can manage, even from a lockdown perspective.
Things like:

• How you react to people and situations
• What you eat
• How you treat yourself and your body
• Who you spend you time with
• What you put your energy into
• How clean your home is
• How you speak to yourself and others 
• How much sleep you get
• Your morning routine
• What you do in your spare time
• How much exercise you get
• Your thoughts, hopes, dreams and aspirations

These challenging times can actually be a wonderful time for some introspection and contemplation, so why not try and shift your mindset and consider seeing things from a whole new angle. 

THE DIG
Release Date: 2021 
Rating: PG
Running Time: 112 mins 
A British period drama directed by Australian film and theatre director Simon Stone and based on the 2007 novel of the same name by John Preston. The Dig, released by Netflix, delivers a delightful true story adaptation of an important archaeological dig and the events and people that surrounded the excavation. 
An historically important dig is occurring in the quiet township of Sutton Hoo, Britain in 1938; coinciding with the commencement of WW2. The lives of those involved with the excavation become swept up in the celebration, drama and trepidation of the time, whilst also dealing with their own personal struggles. 
Carey Mulligan and Ralph Fiennes give stellar portrayals of the real life stakeholders Edith Pretty and Basil Brown and the superb English countryside makes for a most beautiful backdrop. The cinematography is exceptionally good here thanks to Mike Eley's keen eye and many of the shots are so perfectly executed that it almost feels like a piece of art. 
Overall, I was pleasantly surprised by The Dig not only for it's terrific performances and visual appeal but also for its genuinely wholesome and interesting script which is a combination of story telling that I don't see as often as I would like to. 
FINAL SAY: From the first human handprint on a cave wall, we're part of something continuous. 
3.5 Chilli Peppers ​

There are a couple of things that always tell me that the long and greatly coveted Summer holiday break is rapidly drawing to a close. The first of those is Australia Day because the return to work for all people working in the education sector will generally occur within a day of this annual event. This year, educators return the day after that public holiday which means that it will not be a good day for tipples or overindulging of any fashion because that first week back is always hella challenging after such a lengthy respite. 
The second red flag event for me is the annual Triple J Hottest 100 which I listen to religiously every year and again falls just before the dreaded end of Summer vacation. This year the Hottest 100 happened yesterday, heralding a foreshadowing and awareness that my days of self indulgence and pleasure seeking are rapidly coming to a close. In short, I have two days left of Summer break, however on the upside the first week back has been reduced to a very manageable 3 days which is actually quite heavenly and very welcome.
And in spite of COVID-19 still looming about in the shadows like an repugnant stalker I have actually had one of the most relaxing, productive and deeply enjoyable Summer holiday breaks of my life, and my sights are now firmly fixed on making this year - my year to shine! When I say shine, I really don't mean in the spotlight, I mean that this year I really want to feel like I have a better handle on my own wellbeing in every possible way. 
Last year I had my hysterectomy and it felt a lot like of a year of repair for me. I spent a lot of time resting, doing meditation and generally getting myself well and strong again. This year I really want to up my game and add some more things into my everyday regimen that will serve me well in many different ways. Of course I will not be dropping my daily meditation or yoga sessions, that stuff has become non-negotiable for me now and I couldn't imagine not doing those things on the daily. However, this year there are a few other key ingredients that I want to add into the mix, or should I say that I have already added into the mix this year and want to continue to stay committed to doing from here on out. 
They aren't really huge changes, but over a long period of time, they will deliver grow into my life and should make me healthier and happier in the long run. Here is a list of the new things that I have added to my personal regimen and committed to doing for myself  in 2021:

• 10,000 steps a day
• 20- 30 minutes of cardio three times a week 
• 10 -15 minutes of brain training daily (Elevate) 
• 10-15 minutes of learning another language (French) 
• Drink 1.5 litres of water/ herbal tea a day  
• Cut back my alcohol consumption

See these are hardly huge changes, however if you add them to my daily journaling, meditation, yoga, allocated time that I schedule with my children, husband, mother and friends, as well as my blog and my volunteer job, well its getting pretty busy right? Wrong, it's actually pretty manageable, well it's been manageable but I haven't been at work and I think that trying to fit these extra few things in once I am back is going to require a little more effort, especially at either ends of the day. However, I am up for the challenge and very determined use the time that I have wisely. And anyway, if things don't fit well and it's a total car crash well...that's okay too because I can always go back to the drawing board and revamp. 
Let's hope I am writing a blog about the successes of my extra self commitments over the coming weeks and not about navigating the pitfalls of an over scheduled life - but hey I will keep you posted about that, watch this space!

ON THE ROCKS
Release Date: 2020
Rating: M 
Running Time: 96 mins 
A comedy/drama written and directed by Sofia Coppola that delivers a short, sweet tale about a father-daughter relationship. Not nearly as memorable as Coppola's previous endeavours, On the Rocks is a much lighter and more mainstream approach than we have seen in previous times, however it still has Coppola's keen eye for excellent male-female relationship dynamics all over it, which makes it quite enjoyable. 
Laura (Rashida Jones) has a growing suspicion that her husband who travels a lot for work may be engaging in an affair.  She confides her concerns in her father Felix (Bill Murray) who decides that her husband is clearly cheating and the two set out on a covert mission to discover the truth. 
Jones and Murray are truly great here together with a deeply plausible onscreen connection and a good smattering of humour which really elevates the story greatly. Sure it's no game changer, but it is a fun exploration of child/parent bonds, marriage and fidelity.  
FINAL SAY: It must be very nice to be you. 
3 Chilli Peppers ​

Normally at this time of the year I would have been able to recount all of the wonderful things that I did and the people that I shared my time with throughout the year, and write a really amazing blog post reminiscing about those events; this year however - not so much! To say that 2020 was a difficult year would be a massive understatement, but for those of you that are out there reading this, well at least we survived it right?
Equally it was a strange year of cinema to say the least! I cannot deny that the viewing opportunities in 2020 grew wider and faster than anyone (even myself) could possibly have kept up with. However, this year I only watched 185 movies in total, which does sound like a lot but it was actually 30 less than I watched in 2019. This was mainly due to the quality of the films on offer, which in opinion were not nearly as consistently great as they were in 2019 and I found myself wading through a lot mediocre movies this year. 
However, television was a whole other ball game, and I watched 153 television series (some of which were more than one series of catch up as well) which was a lot more TV than I viewed in 2018 or 2019, so it all balances out to the same amount of couch smashing in the end and still translates to me being a serious media addict. 
You will notice that there are a lot of TV series listed below that got 4 chilli peppers or more, certainly more than movies did and that is simply because there were a lot more excellent TV experiences to be had this year. The influx of genuinely high level television in 2020 was literally never ending and because of COVID19 lockdowns across the globe we were given the best TV streaming opportunities that we have ever had before. My 'to see' list is pages long these days as I struggle to keep ahead of the game and the movie reviews that I still need to add to my blog, but alas it is a labour of love and I have enjoyed every moment of media escapism that I have indulged in this year. 
2020, just like 2019 managed to deliver greatness across all genres, for which I am very grateful. The international films, independent films and animated films were amazingly good this year and it was great to see so many excellent films and series from those genres. And so, without further ado....here is my selection for the best viewing experiences of 2020. 
BEST MOVIES (2020 release):
Soul - Kids  5 Chilli Peppers (Hall of Fame)
Borat Subsequent Moviefilm - Comedy 4 Chilli Peppers 
Sound of Metal - Drama 4 Chilli Peppers 
Onward - Kids  4 Chilli Peppers
Black is King - Musical  4 Chilli Peppers
The Vast of Night - Sci-Fi   3.5 Chilli Peppers
The Invisible Man - Horror 3.5 Chilli Peppers 
The Willoughbys - Kids  3.5 Chilli Peppers
His House - Horror 3.5 Chilli Peppers 
Colour Out of Space - Sci -Fi  3.5 Chilli Peppers
Da 5 Bloods - War 3.5 Chilli Peppers
Enola Holmes  - Crime 3.5 Chilli Peppers
Deadwood: The Movie - Crime 3.5 Chilli Peppers
Save Yourselves! - Sci-Fi/ Comedy   3.5 Chilli Peppers

2020 HONOURABLE MENTIONS:
The Platform - Gritty/ International  3 Chilli Peppers
Swallow - Gritty 3 Chilli Peppers
Palm Springs -  Romance/ Comedy 3 Chilli Peppers 
Vivarium - Sci-Fi 3 Chilli Peppers 
#Alive - Horror 3 Chilli Peppers
American Murder: The Family Next Door - Doco 3 Chilli Peppers 
Relic - Horror 3 Chilli Peppers 

Here are my top recommendations for pre-2020 releases that I didn't see until 2020:
1917 - War 5 Chilli Peppers (Hall of Fame) 
Parasite - International 4.5 Chilli Peppers 
Shadow - International 4.5 Chilli Peppers
The Nightingale - Gritty  4 Chilli Peppers
Uncut Gems - Crime 4 Chilli Peppers
The Lighthouse - Art House  4 Chilli Peppers
The Farewell - Drama 4 Chilli Peppers 
Burning - International 3.5 Chilli Peppers
Ford v Ferrari - Drama 3.5 Chilli Peppers 
Chasing Coral - Doco  3.5 Chilli Peppers
The Peanut Butter Falcon - Drama 3.5 Chilli Peppers 
Mid90s - Drama   3.5 Chilli Peppers
Zombieland 2: Double tap - Horror 3.5 Chilli Peppers
Dr Sleep - Horror 3.5 Chilli Peppers 
Rocketman - Musical  3.5 Chilli Peppers
The Gentlemen - Crime 3.5 Chilli Peppers
El Camino: A Breaking Bad Movie - Crime  3.5 Chilli Peppers
Hail Satan? - Doco  3.5 Chilli Peppers
3 Identical Strangers - Doco  3.5 Chilli Peppers
Mystify: Michael Hutchence - Doco  3.5 Chilli Peppers
The Lodge - Horror 3 Chilli Peppers
The Night Eats the World - Horror 3 Chilli Peppers

BEST TELEVISION SERIES 2020:
Succession S2 -  Drama 5 Chilli Peppers
Ozark S3 - Crime 5 Chilli Peppers
Lovecraft Country - Horror 5 Chilli Peppers
This Country S3 - Comedy 5 Chilli Peppers
Raised by Wolves - Sci- Fi 4.5 Chilli Peppers
The Queen's Gambit - Drama 4.5 Chilli Peppers
The Mandalorian - Sci-Fi 4.5 Chilli Peppers 
Better Call Saul S5 - Crime 4.5 Chilli Peppers 
Morning Wars - Drama 4.5 Chilli Peppers 
I May Destroy You - Drama 4.5 Chilli Peppers 
DEVS - Sci-Fi  4 Chilli Peppers 
The Magicians S5 - Sci-Fi 4 Chilli Peppers
The Great - Period Drama 4 Chilli Peppers 
What We Do in the Shadows S2 - Horror/Comedy 4 Chilli Peppers
Mythic Quest - Comedy/Drama 4 Chilli Peppers
Kidding S2 - Art House 4 Chilli Peppers
Awkwafina is Nora from Queens - Comedy 4 Chilli Peppers
The Boys S2 - Super 4 Chilli Peppers
Ramy S2 - Comedy/ Drama 4 Chilli Peppers
The Haunting of Bly Manor -  Horror 4 Chilli Peppers
The Undoing - Drama 4 Chilli Peppers
Wayne - Crime/ Comedy 4 Chilli Peppers
Unorthodox - Drama 4 Chilli Peppers
​It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia S14 - Comedy 4 Chilli Peppers
High Fidelity - Drama 4 Chilli Peppers

2020 TV HONOURABLE MENTIONS: ​
Ratched - Thriller  3.5 Chilli Peppers 
SEE - Sci- Fi  3.5 Chilli Peppers 
Avenue 5 - Sci-Fi/ Comedy  3 Chilli Peppers 
Dave - Comedy  3 Chilli Peppers
The Servant - Thriller  3 Chilli Peppers
 The Umbrella Academy S2- Fantasy 3 Chilli Peppers
The Third Day - Thriller  3 Chilli Peppers 
After Life S2 - Comedy  3 Chilli Peppers 
Killing Eve S3 - Crime  3 Chilli Peppers 
Breeders - Comedy  3.5 Chilli Peppers 

After what I can only describe as one of the most wonderful and enjoyable Christmases of my entire life, I have found myself in the quiet in-between days that fall after Christmas and before the arrival of another New Year. And boy do I ever love the few days that fall between the 26th and the 31st of December, it is pretty much my favourite time of the the year for so many reasons. 
Firstly, just about everyone is on holidays so there is a really laid back vibe to those six days that you don't get at any other time of the year. People are chilling out, they are all living their best lives and all of the frantic 'must get done before Christmas' stresses have been tossed aside and replaced with afternoon tipples, sleep ins, joyful time wasting and a general decompression of the past year.
Also, the weather is usually pretty lovely which offers everyone room in their lives for picnics, long walks, outdoorsy explorations, BBQ's, star gazing, novels in hammocks and long relaxed conversations at any given moment. You never feel guilty for wasting time because you're off the clock and time suddenly becomes completely irrelevant, it's absolutely heavenly! 
And lastly, but certainly not least of all, because you just got gifted a whole bunch of new things you feel like a totally spoilt rich bitch for a while. You have new things to play and fiddle with, new clothes and jewellery to bling up on and often you'll even some some cash in your pocket to burn. For me, this year was particularly fortuitous and I got spoilt silly by by family and friends beyond anything that I could have imagined, it was both delightful and unexpected but let's not bullshit anyone here, it was also extremely enjoyable. 
So now I happily find myself falling into the quiet in-between days and just like a lazy cat stretching out on a furry rug, it feels amazing! So far, I've been sketching, reviewing films on Spicywatch and binging TV. I've also been listening to audio books, meditating, walking, playing brain training apps, doing 45 minute yoga sessions and having Pisco sour cocktails in the afternoons. Tomorrow I am heading to Melbourne for the first time in over a year because of COVID restrictions and I have plans to spend a couple of days roaming the city with my best friend, visiting the NGV and hitting up Chinatown for Yum-Cha. 
Oh yes it is the most wonderful time of the year! And I hope that you are all equally enjoying the quiet in-between days as much as I am and that you also enjoy a glorious and safe transition from 2020 to 2021. Let's hope that just like the quiet in-between days, that it's a gentler and kinder year to us all!

Being an avid and addicted movie goer has also made me extremely hungry for great original stories. Unfortunately, the more books that you read and the more movies and television that you consume, the more that you will often feel that finding new, fresh and interesting stories becomes harder and harder. And quite honestly, it does. It just does, it gets harder and harder all of the time to find original, quality viewing. And there is so much crap to wade through in your pursuit of quality that it can become really laborious trying to find that next great thing. And it isn't just cinema addicts like me that are desperately thirsting for great new material, just about everyone does and there are a few main reasons that this happens. 
Firstly, stories activate parts of the brain that allow a receiver to turn parts of the story in to their own ideas and experiences, this is called neural coupling. It doesn't mean that you'll have delusions and believe that some sci-fi story actually happened to you, but it does expand your neural activity to form empathy pathways or understandings around the storytelling material that didn't exist before, which can make people more emotionally evolved and intelligent. Some listeners or viewers will even be able to mirror emotions and experiences and this can also create new pathways in brain activity, which is of course highly stimulating. 
Secondly, the brain releases dopamine into your system when you experience an emotionally charged event, even if you just witness it. The effect of viewing material that elicits an emotional response within you can be just as powerful as a real life experience and that dopamine release is highly addictive, which is why your brain will want to repeat the experience, hence the desire to find original and varied viewing experiences.
And lastly, when you are processing new ideas or facts, two main areas of your brain are activated, the Broca's and the Wernicke's areas. The Broca's area links to your speech, language and understanding of movement. The Wernicke's region of the brain is where your comprehension and understanding of language usage comes from. Those two parts of your brain light up like a Christmas tree when you see or hear something new, forming new pathways, expanding your vocabulary and strengthening your understanding of the world. 
Pretty clear to see why we all long to find the next new thing isn't it? Our brains and bodies are actually addicted to it. We all long for more stimulation, and for me that comes in the form of something fresh and original. It can be a TV program, a podcast or a book, but my ultimate passion  and deepest longing will always be for a movie that ignites my senses. 
And in my search for cinematic gold, I have a few handy tricks up my sleeve which may also help you to locate more quality and compatible viewing materials easily in the future. 

1. Before you watch anything, check the reviews IMDb and Rotten Tomatoes. Anything that gets less than 70% or 7 out of 10 is probably going to be a waste of your precious time and more than likely unoriginal, so don't bother. 
2. Find an online reviewer that you agree with 70% of the time. It could be a YouTuber or a blogger - Spicywatch is an excellent reviewer (LOL), but find someone that you know has similar and consistent taste with you. For me that person is Chris Stuckmann on YouTube. 
3. Download the taste app, it will give you movie and TV recommendations based on the things that you have previously loved and it will also tell you where you can stream them, this app is a godsend for me. (Try the Goodreads app if you are looking for new reading material - it works in the same way).
4. Don't get sucked in by the feature films that appear when you go on to your streaming services. Just because a streaming service has been promoting something heavily that doesn't necessarily make it good or high quality, try not to be taken in by the flashy shorts and previews, learn to be discerning. 
5. Read reputable movie and TV magazines like Empire, Total Film or Film Comment to stay ahead of what is coming out. This will help you to keep your eye out for things that you are interested in and that are worthy of your time. 
6. Watch movie previews on IMDb and scan lists like 'best movies of 2019' to make sure that you haven't missed anything amazing. 
7. Keep a list of movies that you want to see somewhere so that you can refer back to it when you need something good to watch.
8. Record recommendations straight onto your phone as soon as you get them so that you don't forget the name of something that someone told you was excellent. 
9. Don't be afraid to watch old or classic material. Some of the best things you'll ever watch or read will not be found on the new release list. 
10. Share your amazing viewings with others, because as I said, we all hunger for quality storytelling. 

CITIZEN KANE
Release Date: 1941
Rating: PG
Running Time: 119 mins 
Cited by more directors than you can poke a stick at as one of their 'all time favourite' movies, Citizen Kane has been inspiring filmmakers and intriguing audiences for decades with it's mysterious plot line and noir film styling. Directed and written by, as well as starring in the lead role, Orson Welles who absolutely shines before and behind the camera in this masterpiece of classic cinema. 
Publishing tycoon Charles Foster Kane's extraordinary, unusual and turbulent life becomes a source of great fascination after he passes away. A journalist is sent to investigate Kane's perplexing final utterance as he lay on his deathbed through a series of interviews and speculations from the people that were closest to him in life.  
This film is not only visually well ahead of it's time, it also sparks great debate and discussion, which is probably why so many schools still choose to study it in media and art. It's deeply esoteric and totally ambitious, but it delivers in all respects and will always be a movie that everyone should see at least once in their lifetime. 
FINAL SAY: Rosebud.
4.5 Chilli Peppers ​

We all know that 2020 has been a rather tepid year when it comes to blockbuster movies, and for good reason. Who in their right mind would want to launch their huge box office smash hit movie when every cinema in the world is closed due to coronavirus restrictions? Clearly the smart thing to do is to just  hold off until everything returns to normal, and a lot of big budget film makers that are fortunate enough to have the equity to do that have done that. However, a lot of other smaller or independent film makers have been forced to sell the rights to their movies to streaming services in order to pay the bills - so to speak. What this has meant for us as viewers is access to a large number of sleeper hits that we have been able to watch in our own homes. 
So what is a sleeper hit? In the entertainment industry a sleeper hit is any movie, TV series, music release or video game that is usually not very successful upon first release and then gains momentum and becomes a huge success down the track. Sleeper hits often have little promotion or lack a successful launch (this often happens with films that go directly to streaming) but then they builds a reputation through critic reviews and attention which increases their overall exposure. Eventually the unknown form of entertainment becomes very popular because it has gained outside attention for being very good, original or controversial.
Some great examples of past sleeper hit movies that started out small and then deservingly gained a large following are:

• Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon - International/ Action
• Slumdog Millionaire - Romance/ Drama
•  Juno - Drama
• Saw - Horror 
• My Big Fat Greek Wedding - Comedy/ Romance 
• Napoleon Dynamite - Comedy 
• Paranormal Activity - Horror 
• The Greatest Showman - Musical 

For someone like me who goes to the movies to see pretty much everything, being able to access high quality new release cinema at home has been an appreciated and well utilised privilege, and I have to say that I have seen some excellent movies through my streaming services this year that I definitely would have gone to the cinema and paid good money to have seen if coronavirus restrictions weren't in place.
And so without further ado, here is my list of the top ten movies that have streamed this year that I would not only recommend but also regard as 2020 sleeper hits that are definitely worthy of your time and attention:

1. #Alive - International/ Horror (Netflix) 
2. Enola Holmes - Crime/ Action (Netflix) 
3. Black is King - Music (Disney) 
4. His House - Horror (Netflix) 
5. Relic - Horror (Stan) 
6. Da 5 Bloods - War (Netflix) 
7. The Willoughbys - Kids (Netflix) 
8. The Platform - International/ Thriller (Netflix) 
9. Swallow - Thriller (Stan) 
10. Palm Springs - Romance (Prime) 

As the rural Victorian children both sheepishly and excitedly returned to onsite learning this week, in my mind I was saying a little prayer in the hope that we do not go into a third round of COVID-19 lockdowns and restrictions. The prospect of another term of remote and online learning makes me feel slightly nauseous and although the teachers all did a tremendous job of making it work, we can't really kid ourselves into thinking that it was the best model for learning. Tolerable but far from ideal would be my best estimation of remote learning. 
However, in the grand scheme of things Australia is fairing pretty well, with many countries around the globe succumbing to what can only be described as catastrophic COVID-19 circumstances. Even Donald Trump, for all of his bullshit and bravado has fallen ill to the virus and will hopefully now finally admit that America has a very big COVID problem. However given the fact that has been seen unmasked, posing for photographers and out and about in public when he is still considered to be contagious, well let's just say that I am not going to hold my breath. 
And so, in this most unusual climate we begin the work of attempting to find ourselves again. We try to establish a new norm and acceptance that this is now the new norm because life is going to be different and it is going to be different for an unperceivable length of time. And even when we do fully re-emerge after a vaccine has been created, the world will never be the same again because there's no denying that we have all been changed by this pandemic. We will be excited to be experiencing real freedom again, but also filled with trepidation and worry about whether anything like this could happen to us again. 
Just like our forefathers understood the worry of war, we in 2020 understand the worry of pandemic. A faceless and indiscriminate danger that can consume much of our previously joyful and carefree thinking with fear and concern. However, just like the countless brave humans that have inhabited this planet for thousands of years before us, we cannot succumb or surrender to our worry or worst case scenario fears; we must, for want of a better way to put it, keep calm and carry on. 
Basically, no amount of worry will change what we are facing now and no sleepless nights in the future will guarantee our safety in years to come, so the only reasonable thing that we can do is stay hopeful, support each other and believe that the best days are ahead of us. COVID-19 may have made the world different, but it has also highlighted just how alike we all are and how much we all need each other.
The expressions on the faces of the children as they returned to onsite learning spoke volumes to me and what I took away from our first week back at school together was how great it was to be around a lot of young and vibrant people again and share in their experiences. It really galvanized my thoughts around how much we do have to look forward to together as we find our way out of this mess. 
So here we go again, praying that this time we have reduced the number of infections enough to enjoy some civil liberties and social experiences. Hoping that conditions improve quickly for the countries who are suffering the most and knowing without a shadow of doubt that we absolutely must count our blessings on the daily and never ever take anything for granted ever again.
With a hopeful heart I say, let's give this another shot!

THE FAREWELL
Release Date: 2019
Rating: PG
Running Time: 100 mins 
​An American- Chinese drama/comedy written and directed by Lulu Wang and partly based on her own real life experiences. The Farewell delivers a beautiful and complicated family story that really touched my heart with it's intense sense of loyalty, tradition and good intentioned ideals. 
American independent writer Billi finds herself flung back into the arms of her extended family in China when her grandmother (Nai Nai) is diagnosed with terminal lung cancer. The family try to support the dying matriarch by not telling her about her cancer and instead create a fake family wedding in order to gather everyone together for one last celebration that will also serve many as a form of farewell. 
This script is so tender and believable; it is such a delight to watch. Awkwafina is incredible as Billi and she brings lots of humour and genuine love to her relationship with her Nai Nai, who is played perfectly by  Zhao Shuzhen. The Farewell is testament to the fact that real life stories about family traditions and ideas are not only interesting but also extremely inspiring. 
FINAL SAY: Chinese people have a saying, when people get cancer they die. It's not cancer that kills them, it's the fear. 
4 Chilli Peppers ​

The Emmy awards were held last Monday, which I was again fortunate enough to be at home to enjoy - Hazar! This year was the first time that a big awards ceremony was held remotely due to COVID19 and I have to say that although yes, it wasn't as good as the usual extravaganza of glitz and glamour that we have come to expect from the Emmy's, however given the circumstances it was still really enjoyable and completely watchable. Hosted by Jimmy Kimmel who apparently said "I don't know where we will do this or how we will do this or even why we are doing this, but we are doing it and I am hosting it" when he found out that the Emmy's were still going ahead in spite of the worldwide pandemic. And seriously, why shouldn't it go ahead? We need a little bit of celebration and frivolity right now and I always appreciate a good awards ceremony regardless of the format. 
Anyway, it was Schitt's Creek's night for sure when they won an incredible and completely deserving nine Emmy's in total and broke the record for the most wins in a single season for a comedy. And having seen almost all of the TV programs that won, I can definitely say that every winner was deserving and I was not surprised to see that Succession and Watchmen blitz the evening as well because they were easily two of my favourite TV programs of the year. 
And just in case you missed them, here are the nominations and winners of the 2020 Emmy Awards:
Outstanding comedy series

• Curb Your Enthusiasm
• Dead to Me
• The Good Place
• Insecure
• The Kominsky Method
• The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
• WINNER: Schitt's Creek
• What We Do in the Shadows

Outstanding drama series

• Better Call Saul
• The Crown
• The Handmaid's Tale
• Killing Eve
• The Mandalorian
• Ozark
• Stranger Things
• WINNER: Succession

Outstanding limited series

• Little Fires Everywhere
• Mrs. America
• Unbelievable
• Unorthodox
• WINNER: Watchmen

Lead actor in a comedy series

• Anthony Anderson, Black-ish
• Don Cheadle, Black Monday
• Ted Danson, The Good Place
• Michael Douglas, The Kominsky Method
• WINNER: Eugene Levy, Schitt's Creek
• Ramy Youssef, Ramy

Lead actress in a comedy series

• Christina Applegate, Dead to Me
• Rachel Brosnahan, The Marvellous Mrs. Maisel
• Linda Cardellini, Dead to Me
• WINNER: Catherine O'Hara, Schitt's Creek
• Issa Rae, Insecure
• Tracee Ellis Ross, Black-ish

Supporting actor in a comedy series

• Andre Braugher, Brooklyn Nine-Nine
• William Jackson Harper, The Good Place
• Alan Arkin, The Kominsky Method
• Sterling K. Brown, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
• Tony Shalhoub, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
• Mahershala Ali, Ramy
• Kenan Thompson, Saturday Night Live
• WINNER: Dan Levy, Schitt's Creek

Supporting actress in a comedy series

• Betty Gilpin, GLOW
• D'Arcy Carden, The Good Place
• Yvonne Orji, Insecure
• Alex Borstein, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
• Marin Hinkle, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
• Kate McKinnon, Saturday Night Live
• Cecily Strong, Saturday Night Live
• WINNER: Annie Murphy, Schitt's Creek

Lead actor in a drama series

• Jason Bateman, Ozark
• Sterling K. Brown, This Is Us
• Steve Carell, The Morning Show
• Brian Cox, Succession
• Billy Porter, Pose
• WINNER: Jeremy Strong, Succession

Lead actress in a drama series

• Jennifer Aniston, The Morning Show
• Olivia Colman, The Crown
• Jodie Comer, Killing Eve
• Laura Linney, Ozark
• Sandra Oh, Killing Eve
• WINNER: Zendaya, Euphoria

Supporting actor in a drama series

• Giancarlo Esposito, Better Call Saul
• Bradley Whitford, The Handmaid's Tale
• WINNER: Billy Crudup, The Morning Show
• Mark Duplass, The Morning Show
• Nicholas Braun, Succession
• Kieran Culkin, Succession
• Matthew Macfadyen, Succession
• Jeffrey Wright, Westworld

Supporting actress in a drama series

• Laura Dern, Big Little Lies
• Meryl Streep, Big Little Lies
• Helena Bonham Carter, The Crown
• Samira Wiley, The Handmaid's Tale
• Fiona Shaw , Killing Eve
• WINNER: Julia Garner, Ozark
• Sarah Snook, Succession
• Thandie Newton, Westworld

Lead actor in a limited series or movie

• Jeremy Irons, Watchmen
• Hugh Jackman, Bad Education
• Paul Mescal, Normal People
• Jeremy Pope, Hollywood
• WINNER: Mark Ruffalo, I Know This Much Is True

Lead actress in a limited series or movie

• Cate Blanchett, Mrs. America
• Shira Haas, Unorthodox
• WINNER: Regina King, Watchmen
• Octavia Spencer, Self Made
• Kerry Washington, Little Fires Everywhere

Supporting actor in a limited series or movie

• Dylan McDermott, Hollywood
• Jim Parsons, Hollywood
• Tituss Burgess, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt: Kimmy vs. the Reverend
• WINNER: Yahya Abdul-Mateen II, Watchmen
• Jovan Adepo, Watchmen
• Louis Gossett Jr, Watchmen

Supporting actress in a limited series or movie

• Holland Taylor, Hollywood
• WINNER: Uzo Aduba, Mrs. America
• Margo Martindale, Mrs. America
• Tracey Ullman, Mrs. America
• Toni Collette, Unbelievable
• Jean Smart, Watchmen

Outstanding reality competition series

• The Masked Singer
• Nailed It
• WINNER: RuPaul's Drag Race
• Top Chef
• The Voice

Outstanding variety talk series

• Daily Show with Trevor Noah
• Full Frontal with Samantha Bee
• Jimmy Kimmel Live
• WINNER: Last Week Tonight with John Oliver
• Late Show with Stephen Colbert

Outstanding variety sketch series

• A Black Lady Sketch Show
• Drunk History
• WINNER: Saturday Night Live

Outstanding Television movie

• American Son
• WINNER: Bad Education
• Dolly Parton's Heartstrings: These Old Bones
• El Camino: A Breaking Bad Movie
• Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt: Kimmy vs. The Reverend

Writing for a comedy series

• WINNER: Daniel Levy, Schitt's Creek
• David West Read, Schitt's Creek
• Michael Schur, The Good Place
• Tony McNamara, The Great
• Sam Johnson and Chris Marcil, What We Do In The Shadows
• Paul Simms, What We Do In The Shadows
• Stefani Robinson, What We Do In The Shadows

Writing for a drama series

• Thomas Schnauz, Better Call Saul
• Thomas Schnauz,
• Gordon Smith, Better Call Saul
• Peter Morgan, The Crown
• Chris Mundy, Ozark
• John Shiban, Ozark
• Miki Johnso, Ozark
• WINNER: Jesse Armstrong, Succession

Writing for a limited series, movie or drama

• Tanya Barfield, Mrs. America
• Sally Rooney and Alice Birch, Normal People
• Susannah Grant, Ayelet Waldman and Michael Chabon, Unbelievable
• Anna Winger, Unorthodox
• WINNER: Damon Lindelof and Cord Jefferson, Watchmen

Director for a comedy series

• Matt Shakman, The Great
• Amy Sherman-Palladino, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
• Daniel Palladino, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
• Gail Mancuso, Modern Family • Finale Part 2
• Ramy Youssef, Ramy
• WINNER: Andrew Cividino and Daniel Levy, Schitt's Creek
• James Burrows, Will & Grace

Directing for a drama series

• Benjamin Caron, The Crown
• Jessica Hobbs, The Crown
• Lesli Linka Glatter, Homeland
• Mimi Leder, The Morning Show Mimi Leder,
• Alik Sakharov, Ozark
• Ben Semanoff, Ozark
• WINNER: Andrij Parekh, Succession
• Mark Mylod, Succession

Directing for a limited series

• Lynn Shelton, Little Fires Everywhere
• Lenny Abrahamson, Normal People
• WINNER: Maria Schrader, Unorthodox
• Nicole Kassell, Watchmen
• Steph Green, Watchmen
• Stephen Williams, Watchmen

ENOLA HOLMES 
Release Date: 2020
Rating: M
Running Time: 123 mins 
A crime/mystery period film based on the first book in the series of the same name by Nancy Springer which focuses on the adventures of Enola Holmes, teenage sister of already famous crime investigator Sherlock Holmes. Enola Holmes was distributed by Netflix streaming services when they acquired the rights for distribution from Warner Bros. because of the COVID-19 pandemic. 
Raised to be carefree and headstrong by her free spirited mother, teenager Enola Holmes becomes distressed when her mother goes missing in the middle of the night without explanation. An attempt to enlist the help of her two older brothers Sherlock and Mycroft proves disastrous, so Enola takes matters into her own hands and sets off to discover what happened to her mother for herself. 
I cannot deny that Millie Bobby Brown breathes some much needed fresh air into Baker Street with her effervescent and energic portrayal of Enola and she is definitely what makes this movie so delightful and enjoyable. She is however extremely well supported by Henry Cavill as Sherlock, Sam Claflin as Mycroft and Helena Bonham Carter as the mother of them all Eudoria Holmes. 
There is an infectious and intoxicating teenage energy to this movie that I really loved and I do hope that we will get to see further instalments of this series in the future. 
FINAL SAY: Sometimes you must dangle your feet in the water in order to attract the sharks. 
3.5 Chilli Peppers ​

When it comes to taking care of ourselves and not getting smashed on the shores of real life events, introverts can often be quite inept at listening to their inner voice and stepping back before reaching burn out or fever pitch. There is nothing worse than dealing with an introvert that has been ignoring their inner voice that has been telling them to slow down and take a break, it can start to feel a lot like you're reasoning with Jake LaMotta from the movie Raging Bull and it isn't fun for anyone involved. 
Where extroverts get energy from other people and feel down if they are left alone for long periods, introverts work at the polar opposite end of that scale and require regular alone time in order to feel grounded and centred. 
For that reason I have compiled a list of the best self care strategies that I use to sate my need for alone time and quench my introverted feelings of overwhelment and frustration. If you too, like me are an introvert then hopefully you will find this list helpful when you find yourself in need of little self care and t.l.c. 
1. STOP!
And I don't just mean sit down for 5 minutes, I mean fully and completely stop. All devices, distractions and external noises turned off. You need to be completely alone and uninterrupted for 10 solid minutes. If you are at work or in a public space you may need to seek out a spot to make this happen (even your car can be an option if all else fails), but wherever you are, you have to find a way to make it possible to be alone and switch off completely. Think of yourself like a iphone that needs recharging, you have to find a power outlet and plug in - you're giving yourself the recharge that you need to get through the day - it's valuable and vital - especially if you are the type of introvert that is prone to burnout. 
2. DO SOMETHING CREATIVE
Nothing soothes a messy mind like putting something down on paper. Colour a mindful colouring book, doodle, paint, sketch, write in a journal or if you are really crafty make something more 3D with your hands. Paper crafts, sculpting, jewellery making, knitting, crocheting, sewing, making bread or even playing an instrument have been scientifically proven to release stress reducing endorphins. You will not only produce something handmade and awesome but will also allow the introvert in you to tune out from external input and reboot your system. 
3. NANNA NAP 
Nothing recharges a weary mind like a good nap. If you are fortunate enough to take a 30-40 minute nanna nap on the weekend or even squeeze a 20 minute afternoon reboot into your weekday routine, then do it! You're definitely going to be glad that you did because a half hour sleep in the afternoon has also been scientifically proven to boost emotional, physical and mental capabilities. Old people swear by it and little people can't function without it, so why not treat yourself to a nanna nap more often? 
4. WALK IT OFF
Get your feel good endorphins kicking with a nice easy walk around a park. I am not talking about a power walk here, I am talking about a casual meander through the local gardens, somewhere that you can literally stop and smell the flowers, take in a little sunshine and breathe in some good fresh air. If walking is not your bag, that's fine too, you could also try yoga, Tai Chi or gentle swimming. Make it more about the journey rather than the steps on the pedometer. 
5. READ
Everyone knows that I am a huge advocate of getting lost between the pages of a good book for a couple of hours when you can and it is not just about being immersed in a great story but also about the stress reducing and long term health benefits around reading. Reading is so damn good for you; it increases your intelligence, memory and general IQ  and next to meditation it is the most effective way to stimulate your mind without the need for movement or chemicals. Introverts get reading now - it's a brilliant way to detox and reboot. 
6. TOUCHY FEELY
No I don't mean going off to have a bit of rumpy-pumpy, but if that's what get you feeling good then so be it, by all means have at that too. What I was actually referring to was using your sense of touch to diffuse your introvert anxieties. The best ways to do this are to engage in mellow and releasing touch stimulations like petting your cat or dog, taking a bubble bath, having a massage, having a long hot shower or putting on your favourite comfy clothes or PJ's and snuggling under a soft blanket. Physical touch release actually works really well for introverts and if you haven't tried this method of self soothing yet, I would definitely urge you to do so. 

​And there you have it, six sure fire ways for any introvert to defuse their anger, reverse their exhaustion and reboot their systems. Make some time for your introverted self and take care of your wellbeing, because nobody likes a tired, grumpy or intolerant introvert; so save us all from the Raging Bull antics and be kind to yourself!

RAGING BULL
Release Date: 1980
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 129 mins
Martin Scorsese and Robert De Niro are truly a winning combination and Raging Bull is certainly testament to that fact. Considered one of the best films to have been made in the 1980's, Raging Bull was clearly ahead of it's time. Shot in moody black and white, this is certainly not like any other sports drama that had been made at the time; and the script works hard to disclose the barbaric and brutal realities of boxing as a sport, with a stellar and clearly physically demanding performance from De Niro. 
Jake LaMotta is a middleweight boxer that has fought his way to the top and refuses to go down for anyone. His obsessions and delusions soon reveal him to be an unstable, jealous and volatile man that will stop at nothing to keep his stranglehold on his boxing title and his beautiful wife. 
Joe Pesci plays Joey, LaMotta's brother and well-intentioned manager with lots of heart, and Cathy Moriarty does a fabulous job of portraying Vickie, LaMotta's long enduring wife; but in essence this is De Niro's movie from start to end. He gained an incredible 27kgs to portray Jake LaMotta in his post boxing days, making him almost unrecognizable and there wasn't a moment during the film that I didn't find him terrifyingly unhinged. 
FINAL SAY: So give me a stage where this bull can rage....
3.5 Chilli Peppers ​

Amidst the confusion and calamity of COVID-19, America manages to throw itself even further into turmoil with thousands of people taking to the streets in protest of the brutal murder of George Floyd, a 46 year old black man who died in police custody in May. Poor Floyd can clearly be seen in a viral Youtube video being suffocated to death by a police officer who has his knee forced into Floyd's throat as he gasps and pleads 'I can't breathe' - but they do not show any mercy, and he dies because of a cruel and corrupt American authority system that feels entitled to use inhumane force and reckless violence against its citizens. 
As the world watched in horror, the American public completely broke over this latest demonstration of societal inequality and they rose up in anger. Some chose to peacefully demonstrate, others used more force and in some cases stores were looted and protesters were brutally attacked in scenes that felt more like they belonged in a post-apocalyptic movie rather than on the streets of a first world country. 
And although it would appear that this is all due to George Floyd death, in reality although clearly awful, Floyd's death was merely the straw the broke the very overburdened backs of the American people. George Floyd was a spark in a powder keg of disgruntled, beaten down and fed up citizens that had finally had enough of the oppression and sheer disregard of their welfare by the leaders and law enforcement of their country, the very people who are supposed to be serving and protecting them. Between the coronavirus, the record levels of unemployment and the years and years of African American deaths and criminal frame ups from the police, this mass protest was well overdue. 
So Trump has truly made his bed, his very ugly bed and now he must lie down in it. Do I feel sorry for him? Of course I don't, and even though I would never advocate anarchy in the streets I cannot help but feel like this latest outpouring of anger and demonstration from the people of America is more than warranted and seriously overdue. The dragging down, the corruption and the maldistribution of support and care in that country simply has to stop, and if that means taking it to the streets and getting loud about it, well so be it I say.
I just hope that they will take this fervent energy with them to the polling booths at the next election and start to show more care for who they elect to speak for them in the future because there is only way that any of this is going to change and that's by cutting the head off the beast itself. Donald Trump has proven himself to be nothing short of psychopathic since the whole COVID-19 pandemic began, and when he isn't advising his people to go out and drink bleach as a Coronavirus preventative, he is generally otherwise busy inciting fear, promoting corruption and generally acting like a bible swinging lunatic. If this doesn't get the Americans rallied together to vote him out, then nothing will now. 
This latest uprising around George Floyd, I believe is just the beginning. In 1967 Dr Martin Luther King, Jr. called for a 'revolution of values' because of the continuous cycle of social inequity and police brutality that the African Americans were enduring, and this form of civil rights movement is beginning to come into play again today. Fairness and justice are worth fighting for and now that the American people have gained some momentum and worldwide attention and support they will not be going quietly into the night with this, they are going to keep this momentum going and they are going to make changes.
A time of revolution is most definitely upon us, not just upon the Americans, but upon us all. What we are all witnessing right now is an extremely significant and important time in history, a time that you will talk about with your families for years to come, a time when all of the oppressors will be held accountable for their choices and democracy shall prevail. It's the start of something big and extremely overdue, so bring on the revolution I say, you have my full support. No-one in this world should have to fight for equitable treatment, it should just occur and I look forward to the abolition of all of these barbaric, archaic and unwanted behaviours, let's make the assholes accountable! Viva La Revolution! Power to the People! But most of all, watch this space because things are going to change and it will be wonderful to see the people win and the bad guys all finally get their comeuppances. 

Another Mother's Day rolls around and offers all of the mothers of the world a little time to reflect on their own relationships with their mother and their children. For as long as I can remember, I always wanted to be a mother and have children of my own, I never imagined that I wouldn't have kids one day. And that was certainly not because of any external pressures or expectations that I felt to have them, I just really wanted to have children because in all honesty, I have always really liked children.
Generally, I find children to be quite fascinating and often interesting to be around. Sure they can be like drunk adults with all of their brutal honesty, random vomiting and shitty coping skills but let's face it, when they are at their best little kids are just plain adorable. However, for the ultimate ego booster, there is nothing quite like seeing your own children all grown up, especially when they are bloody amazing and inspiring to be around; it really does put the icing on the motherhood cake. 
And I have to say, my children have actually been two of the best teachers that I have ever had in my life because I have learned more about myself and how to deal with others through them that I have learned through anyone else and that is probably the biggest plus to motherhood of all. In fact now that I think about it, my children have taught me about a lot of things that I doubt that I would have mastered as well as I have without their help along way. 
Firstly, I have completely gotten 'over' the preciousness of my physical self since I have become a mum. There is nothing like pregnancy, labour and the consequences of those two things combined to help you to get over the state of your physical body. Stretch marks, saggy boobs, flabby tummy, crappy uterus? Who cares? The physicalities are a mere blip on the radar of motherhood. Things that would have bothered me immensely about my body prior to having children are in the 'could not give a shit' basket now. Had one visit to the labour ward? Well then you've had them all and after a couple of dozen people have looked up your clacker and half of them have had their hand in there, well you just don't really care as much about stuff like that anymore. The old 'my home is your home' saying, is more like 'my body is everyone's body' after becoming a mum and you just can't afford to get hung up about it or you'll become a raving loony, so you just learn to let go and go with it.
My children have also taught me that it's okay to make mistakes and to not be perfect. Every new mother wants to be the perfect mother, but the perfect mother doesn't exist and trying to be one will just make you tired, frustrated and miserable. I have learnt that doing the best that I can with what I have is enough and apologising when I fuck it all up has worked an absolute treat for me. I have become so comfortable with my imperfections as a mum that I can now say to my children without any shame - 'I'm sorry and I wish I had handled that better' or 'I know that I am not at my best and I am sorry for that.' And they are fine with that, they don't expect me to get it right all the time, just like I don't expect them to, so I suppose that I have learned to accept imperfection as a kind of perfection in itself and that's something pretty amazing that motherhood has given to me. 
I have also learned incredible patience, unusual kindness and intense levels of overwhelming pride and gratitude from my children that nothing else in the world has ever given me. I have discovered that I am not the centre of the universe, although sometimes I still want to be. I have learned that my children need to be their own people, do their own things and be with people of their own choice and it has nothing to do with me whatsoever, and that is a relinquishing of power and control that I have mastered thanks to my children.  
I have learned that losing is not actually losing, it's learning. I have learned that most things don't require my comment or input at all and I have learned to pick my battles wisely and with great forethought (aka I no longer shoot from the hip) which I thank my children for assisting me with.
I have learned so many important and valuable things from my beautiful and wonderful children and I can say without a word of doubt that being a mother has made me a better person, a better wife, a better friend and a better daughter to my own mother as well. I'd be lying if I said that it has all been easy, but it has all been interesting and rewarding like nothing else that I have ever done before. And I have to say, damn I'm glad that I have experienced being a mother in this lifetime, what a genuine pleasure it has really been. 

Without a doubt, the whole self isolation experience has offered us all a little more time to really explore the way that we feel about things, and also ourselves. I have spent more time in meditation and have also reflected on the types of spaces that I have created for myself. Some of the spaces that I have made for myself are harmonious, peaceful and nurturing, and unfortunately some of them are limiting, negative and even at times quite toxic. And I suppose that we are all a little guilty of having unpleasant thoughts about ourselves from time to time, but there is a pretty big difference between having a fleeting insecure thought about who you are and clothing and feeding your demons on a daily basis. And that's why it's important to explore the things that you say to yourself regularly and investigate more positive self talk thoughts that you can employ to ensure that you aren't cultivating toxic self hating thoughts about who you really are. 
Long gone are the days when self love was considered to be vain or selfish because anyone with half a brain knows that RuPaul hit that nail right on the head with his 'if you can't love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love someone else?' statement. And it's true, you deserve to love you and you deserve to be proud, secure and content with who you are, but getting rid of toxic thought patterns and culling old mindsets can be challenging and it does require a certain shedding of an old and outmoded way of being that requires you first to take a good look at exactly what it is that you have been saying to yourself about who you are.
A lot of what we believe about ourselves actually derives from our upbringing, our relationships and even the media, which is really sad because we don't even get to decide for ourselves who we are. All of our lives we have been constantly bombarded by people putting ideas into our heads about who we are, or who we are supposed to be; and most of those concepts are actually completely untrue. Who we truly are is whomever we choose to be. How we look and feel is completely is up to us as well, and just knowing that is the first step to empowering yourself to develop better and more positive thoughts about who you are. 
A while ago I wrote a blog post called Self Talk, and it explored my own struggles with negative self beliefs and toxic thought patterns. I have since managed to get those thoughts mostly under control by sticking to these five big self check in questions whenever they arise:

• Is there any evidence to support this thought I'm having about myself?
• What would I say to a friend if they were saying these things about themselves?
• Is there a positive way to look at this?
• Is this thought or feeling rational? Is it mine? Or has been planted or programmed into me externally?
• What can I do to change this feeling or thought that I have about myself? 

It is vitally important to remember that you are not here to fill a mold, fulfill a pre-designed role or be anyone that you do not desire to be for yourself. It is not your job to manage the thoughts that others may have about you and it is not your problem if other people are holding on to outmoded, archaic or toxic thoughts themselves or about who they think you should be or what they expect from you. You can only ever be responsible for your own thoughts and feelings and you do deserve to feel good about yourself. 
During these times of deep self reflection and thought, it's good to toss a little extra self love in to your routine just for good measure. So here are some really great ways to build your self esteem, remove negative beliefs and thoughts about yourself and adopt a kinder mindset for yourself in some very simple and gentle ways.

• Forgiveness- forgive yourself for the mistakes that you've made in the past and forgive others for theirs. There is no going back so let it go and make more room for positive thoughts and feelings in your life. 
• Mindfulness - be mindful about all of the things that you have in your life and practise gratitude. Write down three great things that happened or three positive things about yourself everyday. 
• Acceptance- accept that we are all different and unique. Try to enjoy the beauty and diversity that individuality brings to your life and accept your own uniqueness as part of that. Don't be influenced about your appearance by the media or narrow minded people. 
• Nurturing - do kind things for yourself. Spoil yourself and treat yourself with care and respect. It's good to love yourself, learn to make that your mantra. 
• Avoidance - take stock of who you spend your time with and what you spend your time doing. Steer clear of negative or toxic people or influences that may attempt to bring you down. Spend your time with people that uplift, appreciate, motivate and inspire you. 
• Positivity - Say positive things, think positive thoughts and stop complaining. Focus on the good and you will start to see more of it around you and within you.  Say something positive to yourself about who you are everyday. 
• Giving - Support others and yourself by demonstrating kindness. Give more time and patience to those around you and to yourself and be extremely demonstrative of that. Find unique ways to give and be generous. 
• Believing - believe that you are completely worthy of love and care just as much as anyone else in the world. Believe in your best virtues and focus your thoughts on your best qualities so that you can shine them out into the world. 

God knows that I love to have the last word, probably to my own detriment most of the time. Every time that I hear Annie Lennox singing that song 'Why?' when she reaches that line 'I tell myself too many times why don't you ever learn to keep your big mouth shut?' I shudder as it stings me with its complete accuracy. Yep, sometimes I know that I say far more than what is necessary. In fact I'm pretty sure that if I have any guiding spirits, that they would probably be face palming themselves behind my back regularly. It's true; I do have to own that in the heat of the moment I have been known to throw out some pretty unnecessary words and I'm not going to pretend that I am proud of that because I am not. Losing your shit and saying more than what is necessary is never a good thing and only an idiot would ever defend that kind of behaviour. 
It really is a massive problem having a big gob like I do and saying too much, and the worst part of all is that you can't take any of it back. Words can never be unsaid, rewound, unravelled or removed once they have been spoken, and sometimes the fallout of their impact can never be undone either. I have learnt over the years that it is far better to just say nothing at all than to say something mean, unkind or inappropriate. 
And it was in the spirit of last words that I started pondering about what I would say if I knew that it was the very last thing that I  would ever say in my lifetime. And before you start thinking that I have too much time on my hands (which I clearly do) it turns out that a lot of other people have thought about this as well because there is a huge list of famous people's last words on the internet (if you can believe that they are really true that is). Mind you some of them aren't actually the person's last words, they're just the last thing that they were ever heard saying, so their real last words were probably something more like 'Oh fuck I'm actually dying!' and we would never really know. Nevertheless here are a couple of rippers that I really enjoyed reading:

• Frank Sinatra - I'm losing it. 
• Margaret Sanger (Birth Control advocate) - A party, let's have a party!
• Nostradamus - Tomorrow, at sunrise, I shall no longer be here. 
• Leonardo da Vinci - I have offended god and mankind because my work did not reach the quality it should have.
• Richard Feynman - This dying is boring. 
• Sir Arthur Conan Doyle - (to his wife)  You are wonderful.
• Michael Landon - You're right, its time. I love you all.
• Eugene O'Neill - I knew it! I knew it! Born in a hotel room and goddamnit, dying in a hotel room.
• Jack Soo - It must've been the coffee. 
• Groucho Marx - This is no way to live. 
• Emily Dickinson - I must go in, for the fog is rising. 
• James Brown - I'm going away tonight.
• Steve Jobs - Oh wow. Oh wow. Oh wow. 

In all seriousness though, it is absolutely impossible to determine what your own last words might be, because who knows how you'll go in the end? I would imagine that what you would say on your deathbed surrounded by loved ones would be quite different to what you might say if you were mowed down in the street by a bus. However, I would hope that my last words were something more like 'oh it's even more wonderful than I could've imagined' and a lot less like  'oh so that's what Satan looks like.'
However, the chances of actually formulating something exceptional, memorable or poignant on your deathbed are honestly extremely unlikely, so my best advice is that if you've got something really important to say then I think that you owe it to world to say it well before the day that you actually leave. As long as it's nice!  Just saying!