Today I went to a yoga class that was followed by a tea drinking and discussion session. It was nice to spend some time in the zen zone with other people because I usually practise yoga and meditation alone; daily, but mostly alone. As we sat about in the warm after-glow of our hour long yoga session, with well stretched limbs and a calm disposition, we sipped tea and discussed the topic of 'The Man Who Wanted to Change the World.'
We listened to a story about a man who set out in his 20's to change the world. In his 30's he decided that perhaps he would downscale and just change his village because the world was too large to manage. Then in his 40's he decided to just focus on changing his family because his village was too big. And then, yep you guessed it, in his 50's he finally realised that what he needed to change was himself and he finally looked inwards and embarked on a journey of self change. We then reflected on this story and shared our thoughts, understandings and experiences.
Everyone looked at it differently and shared a little slice of their own experience. Some people shared what they were hoping to achieve or change within themselves, some people talked about their challenges or desires for self improvement and some people just reflected.  There were no right or wrong answers or reflections, no judgements to be cast, it was a safe circle to share in and everyone was heard in their response. 
I was thinking a lot about the Man Who Wanted to Change the World as I listened to the story and it made me think of how far I have come in my own journey of self discovery. I think that like the 'Man' in the story I was rushing to change things around me in my 20's and 30's as well, and I even tried to change my family in my 40's only to realise that it was the way that I saw the world that needed to be healed. I didn't actually need to change anyone or anything, I needed to fix my own vibration and my perspective on things.
I was so negative and so fixated on the ugliness of life when I was younger. I wasted a lot of time judging people, making assumptions and speaking my mind like I had something important to say. I actually thought that I knew what was going on, but I didn't know shit. In truth, nothing that I had to say was very important at all and I was just masking a lot of hurt feelings and a lot of unresolved tension. I had to turn inwards and do a lot of self healing and a lot of mindfulness and a lot of rebuilding.  I had to change my perspective so that I could see what I now see. 
The world around did not need to be fixed, it was never my job to do that, in fact most of what I thought needed to be fixed just needed to be accepted. The only thing that ever needed to be fixed or changed was me and as soon as I understood that and got busy doing that, my whole life instantly changed for the better. I stop judging everyone and feeling like I needed to be in control of anyone or anything else, and I poured all of my time, effort and focus into managing me. Pretty soon,  everything else around me got so much easier and so much better. I was even starting to see beauty in the mundane, joy in the challenges and purpose in the pain. I was becoming whole because I was focusing on making myself a better person. 
And now, I no longer feel like I need to change the world around me at all. I accept the world and all of the people in it as they are with the knowledge that there is only one thing in this whole big beautiful world that I will ever have any control over, and that is me. Just me, nothing more and nothing less than that. And there is the most marvellous level of comfort to be found in that awareness that is not only liberating and freeing, but also empowering and dynamic. So now, like the 'Man Who Wanted to Change the World' I don't look to change anything or anyone but myself these days, and I am doing that one day at a  time and loving my life and the gift that it is more and more as I go. 

A MAN CALLED OTTO
Release Date: 2022
Rating: M
Running Time: 126 mins 
Sometimes I forget just how great Tom Hanks can be and then I see him in a lead role like A Man Called Otto and I am just blown away by his delivery and emotional range. An American remake of the 2015 Swedish film  A Man Called Ove, which was also based on the novel by Fredrik Backman, A Man Called Otto delivers a touching, affecting and enjoyable tale that is sure to tug at your heartstrings.
Otto is a cynical widower that is tired of living and feels exhausted by the so called 'stupidity' of the people around him. Just as he is about to check out, a new family check in across the street and bring with them both complication and distraction for Otto. Through a series of emotional flashbacks we come to understand who Otto was and how he has become the bitter retiree that he is today.
Mariana Trevino shines as Otto's new neighbour Marisol and Cameron Britton delivers as his power walking neighbour Jimmy, but no-one can outshine Hanks here as he delivers all of Otto's quirks and habits with fastidious accuracy and that subtle humour that we have all come to love about Tom Hanks. To be honest though, everyone is good here, even the scruffy stray cat! A Man Called Otto is a feel good movie that everyone can get something out of. 
FINAL SAY: Basically, his heart is too big. 
3.5 Chilli Peppers ​

Sometimes no matter how mindful you are, how much time and effort you put into yourself or how invested you are in your own wellbeing, something will happen and the wheels will just fall off your wagon. Now, this doesn't mean that you have completely derail, leaving the tracks only to plunge head first into the nearest ravine and catch on fire at the bottom, quite the opposite actually. If you get really good at filling and replenishing your own cup regularly, you will never need to have a full scale derailment again. You will not only be able to sit with your disappointments and discomforts, you'll also be able to bounce back like a boss. 
So what's the secret? Well of course it's hardly a secret but it does require you to be attentive to your own needs and aware of what may be leaking out of your cup before you get too depleted. First and foremost, and I know that you've heard me say this a million times but if you aren't doing the simple necessities well, then you have to start there. Are you eating well? Are you sleeping and resting well? Are you getting enough exercise or activity in your life? If you answered no to any of what I like to call the 'Holy Trinity' of health, then take stock and sort your shit out asap. 
Unfortunately everyone is not wrong about you needing to eat a rainbow of healthy foods, get 6-8 hours of sleep a night, drink 6-8 glasses of water a day and take in around 10,000 steps and half an hour of activity as a base line on the daily. If you are failing on of these fronts, you will feel tired, moody, emotional and probably pretty crappy for the most part. Your body is going to be struggling, so always check in with the 'Holy Trinity' before going anywhere else when your cup needs a top up.
After the 'Holy Trinity' is in order, it's time to get meeting your other needs. Check in with your balance between connection with others and your alone time. Both of these things are equally important. You need alone time to connect with yourself and to reflect on your needs and explore your desires. And you need healthy relationships and moments of connection with others to help you to understand your own value, be of service to others and explore your personal expressions of love and sexuality. However, lots of people over-do one or the other and this can leave you feeling out of balance, lonely or exhausted.  Have a think about how much time you are devoting to others and how much you are devoting to yourself. How do you spend your time with yourself? How do you spend your time with others? Are you using your time wisely? How can you improve on your relationships? How can you use your time alone in a healthy way? 
Another thing that really fills up diminished cups is time in nature and time to be creative. It has been scientifically proven that when people spend some time in nature everyday, especially early on in the day, they experience a much higher level of joy and appreciation in their daily lives. Equally valuable is any time set aside for creative output on a daily basis; a spot of painting, a little mindful colouring, daily journaling, scrapbooking, knitting, sewing, modelling or even cooking up a storm in the kitchen are great ways to stimulate the creative juices and getting a feeling of flow back into your life. 
So in short, start with checking your:

• Sleep
• Diet
• Activity 

And then look at:

• Your relationships and connections with others.
• Your time spent alone and your allocation of time for reflection. 

And last but not least try to:

• Spend some time in nature
• Be creative

Simple enough, and fairly obvious, but sometimes, we are just so busy being inside of our selves that we fail to step back and make sure that we are filling our own cups properly. Take a little time this week to do a self check, and never forget to fill your own cup and check in with yourself regularly. 

NO HARD FEELINGS 
Release Date: 2023 
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 103 mins 
A coming of age film directed by Gene Stupnitsky from a screenplay that he co-wrote with John Phillips, No Hard Feelings swings between inappropriately raunchy behaviours and painful helicopter parenting with an effortless ease that makes it a fun and enjoyable comedy from start to end. 
32 year old Maddie Barker is facing bankruptcy when an opportunity arises for her to get a car free on Craigslist. The only catch is that she has to  "date" a socially awkward and shy 19 year old boy named Percy because his wealthy parents can't deal with him leaving for college without any prior female socialisation or sexual experience. She also has to make it seem natural, so Maddie sets out to secretly seduce and socialise Percy and finds much more than she had bargained for. 
There is nothing astoundingly original or interesting about this tried and tired old movie trope, but Jennifer Lawrence makes this film great by delivering her usual high level of funny and sincere on screen as Maddie. Any icky feelings or controversy around the somewhat questionable storyline is cancelled out by the way that film constantly fails to condone or promote Maddie's crappy choices and immaturity. The teenagers in the film are obviously far more aware and mature than Maddie is and the whole point of the movie is to point out how childlike and pathetic some adults can be, which is easy to see when they are surrounded by capable and intelligent young individuals. 
Overall this is just a low-stake comedy film with higher than expected outcomes, watch it for a giggle. 
FINAL SAY: This kid's undatable!
3 Chilli Peppers ​