I am currently listening to a life altering audio book called The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment  by Eckhart Tolle. It is both the most interesting book that I have ever engaged and the most perplexing book that I have ever encountered. Basically the book stresses the importance of of living only in the present moment of your life, meaning that you should not be thinking about the future or the past but rather allowing yourself to be completely and totally absorbed by the present moment of your life (which is otherwise known as - The Now).
This book is the ultimate guide to extreme and absolute presence, or if I'm going to go with the buzzword of the decade - mindfulness. And I cannot deny that being 100% in the present moment feels pretty much an impossibility for me to do, in fact most of the time it feels downright wrong, neglectful and lazy to do it. And that is because I have been so conditioned to pay attention to external things and concentrate on the next thing that is coming or drawing from my past that I have actually spent hardly any time at all in the actual moment that I was in at any given time. And not only that, but we have also been conditioned to identify ourselves based on our inability to be in the moment and therefore limit our true potentials. Sounds complex I know, but it all does make sense, let me break it down for you. 
When your thoughts are concerned in the present only you will experience the following:

• Increased awareness of what is happening.
• Strong and focused attention to tasks.
• More enjoyment of life pleasures. 
• An ability to perceive without judgement - knowing that you don't have to label or identify. 
• An ability to step back from your emotions and observe them. 
• Realisation of your potentials.
• Openness, curiosity and acceptance. 

When you are not concerned with the present moment, you will be experiencing:

• Autopilot reactions to situations based on habits.
• Poor attentional control.
• A flippant and non-appreciative attitude to life pleasures. 
• Reliving past experiences and projecting them into your future endeavours. 
• Labelling and judging things as good or bad, right or wrong.
• Your brain emotionally hijacking your responses.
• Neglect of your potential. 
• A limiting attitude. 

So whether you call it being in The Now or practicing Mindfulness, you have to admit the benefits of being in the present moment are far more appealing than not being in the present moment right? However, actually staying in that mindful and present moment is really challenging, and it takes practise and effort to stop your brain from hijacking your thoughts and forcing you back into deep seated and well worn patterns of habit that are derived from your past experiences and your aspirations about the future. 
What worked best for me was accepting that all of the moments behind were truly and completely finished. Nothing that I can do will ever later the past from what it is or change the past from what it is, so worrying about it or revisiting it internally is both pointless and futile. It is utterly and completely unchangeable. The future on the other hand is totally unwritten which means that any thoughts that I have about how that should look or what it should be like are based in complete fiction. Allowing myself to create an illusion about my future is not harnessing my ability to make things happen right now and it is only offering a point of reference that I will feel tethered to completing and if I don't then I will feel disappointed and pained by my shattered illusions. 
No matter how you look at, all we ever really get to have is here and now. This moment and only this moment, nothing more and nothing less than that. By focusing less on your past and worrying less about your future, you will free your thinking and liberate your life from guilt and expectation, which is where most of disappointments about life occur. Start slowly, try to stop multitasking and give your full attention to one task at a time when you can, get out in nature and think about nothing but where you are and what you are doing for the entire time that you are out. Aslo, bring yourself to the current moment whenever you can, like when you are driving, eating a meal or taking a shower, don't do those things on autopilot while you're thinking about other things, but instead fully immerse yourself in whatever you are doing 100%. Everytime that you allow yourself be more present in the moment, the better that you will get at it and before long, every moment will be filled with unlimited potential and joy. But you don't have to take my or Eckhart Tolle's word for it, try it for yourself and see where it takes you, besides you know that you have nothing to lose and everything to gain from giving it a go. 

Whenever I tell people that I have a website that is dedicated to reviewing movies they always ask me the same question - What's Your Favourite Movie of All Time? As a lover of movies, this is one of the hardest questions that I ever get asked because it is almost impossible to choose just one movie when I have seen and enjoyed so many.
There is a reason that I have a Hall of Fame page that is dedicated to movies that I gave 5 Chilli Peppers to, and that's because I find it so hard to compare movies from different genres against each other. If someone asks me what my favourite movie is, I usually respond with 'that depends on which genre you're talking about.'
If I could have the option of choosing a favourite in each genre, then I could definitely tell you my favourites without any trouble at all:
DRAMA: Manchester by the Sea
HORROR: Rosemary's Baby
SCIENCE FICTION: Interstellar
​WAR: Inglourious Basterds
SUPER: Avengers: Endgame
COMEDY: Snatch
CRIME/ACTION: No Country for Old Men
ART HOUSE: Youth
FOREIGN: The Great Beauty (La Grande Bellezza) 
FANTASY: The Lord of the Rings Trilogy
GRITTY: Melancholia
ROMANCE: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind 
KID FRIENDLY: Kubo and the Two Strings 

So why are these my favourite films when I have so many more listed on my Hall of Fame that are also 5 Chilli Peppers worthy? Well that's easy, these are the movies that I go back to time and time again and always enjoy them just as much as I did the first time that I watched them. All of them had an effect on me in one way or another and all of them left me pondering after I had seen them. I guess that I really don't have one favourite movie of all time, I actually have 13, which also happens to be my lucky number! 

It's almost been ten days since our Zoe arrived back home after breaking up with her fiance and partner of 8 years Lachlainn. The news came as a bit of a shock to us all, but maybe I just didn't want to see the problems because I wanted to believe that Zoe was happy, but in truth, she wasn't. Looking back on these things with hindsight you can always see the cracks and chips in clarity but at the time you are just blinded by what you want to see. It is always like this with breakups of any kind I think, and even though the clarity is there, it really doesn't make breaking up any easier to do. 
Zoe has been strong and organised with this break up to within an inch of her life, which is what we have all come to expect from our Zoe. She's tough and she strong, and it does take great strength to admit that things aren't working and then to also walk away from them. Zoe leaves behind eight years of memories and most of her formative years experiences with Lachlainn since they practically grew up together. Zoe was only 14 years old when she and Lachlainn got together, so it is both fair and probably to be expected that they have just grown apart as time has progressed, and we really should have seen this coming to be honest, but as I said hindsight is 20/20. 
I think back to some of the douche bags that I was hooking up with when I was only 14 years old and...jeez! There is no way that I could probably even stand to be in the same room with some of those weirdos let alone in a relationship with them. Not that I am saying that Lachlainn is a douchebag or anything, but the likelihood of wanting someone that you hooked up with when you were a kid as an adult are probably slim to none.
Craig and I got together when I was just short of 18 and we have had more dramatic episodes than Days of Our Lives on the way to eventually finding happiness and contentment together. We broke up numerous times, fought like we were on the set of Rocky, got regularly and spectacularly wasted together like we were Sid and Nancy at an Irish stag do and eventually popped out the other end (somehow) still together.
And I'm not going to lie to you, it was really hard to stay together when we were young, it felt downright impossible at times. We were both the youngest of five children so we were both used to having our own ways and we had no idea how to make a relationship work, we were both headstrong, opinionated brats. However, unlike Zoe and Lachlainn we were already married and had a home mortgage and a child before we were even 25 so we felt like we had to stick it out through thick and thin, it was complicated. Fortunately for Zoe and Lachlainn they didn't have any of these responsibilities to make them feel tethered together, so breaking up became amicable and quite simple really, well as simple as breakups can be if that's any consolation. 
Breaking up, no matter how clean, is not easy. You are never  just leaving another person, but also leaving a part of yourself and a way of being that you may have grown accustomed to. You leave behind who you once were when you were with that person and you are technically re-inventing yourself into another version of yourself. A single version of yourself, which will be hard for Zoe because she hasn't really experienced being single yet, it's totally foreign territory. However, as we all know, foreign territory although a little scary at times, can also be exciting, exhilarating and empowering. And if anyone is going to be able to stand on their own two feet, I have absolutely no doubt that Zoe will. She has more strong independent woman in her than Sinead O'Connor and I really believe that although it is sad that she has broken up with Lachlainn that this will be her time to shine and really come into her own. 
Sometimes we need a clean break to kick start a new life, and sometimes that opportunity can only be seized by letting go of an old and outmoded version of ourselves. Sometimes letting go of people in our lives that are holding us back from meeting our true potential is only sad for a short time before we can fluff up our own wings again and take flight on our own. And I cannot deny that the very selfish and motherly parts of me are genuinely  excited to have my darling daughter back in the nest for me to fuss over once again. Here together we can support her, help her to heal the broken parts of herself and then help her to move on to the next big adventure that life has in store for her. Zoe deserves all of that and more and now it is her chance to fly solo, put herself first and do whatever she wants to do. 

If he lived, the news would soon be here. Nay, evil news fly faster still than good. That line came from a play called The Spanish Tragedy which was written sometime between 1582 and 1592. It was the first time that the phrase Bad news travels fast was written in print form and proves that even hundreds of years ago it was human nature to be more interested in failure and woe than success and good tidings. 
And believe it or not, it's not our fault that we do pay more attention to the negative things, because we are actually hard-wired to do that. From an evolutionary standpoint the primary goal is to survive, and in general it's the bad experiences not the good ones that have the biggest impact on that ability to survive. Our evolutionary ancestors would've had a far greater chance of survival if they remembered how to out-maneuver a predator or which berries were safe to eat instead of where they found nice tree to nap under. It was the difference between surviving and dying, so storing negative information and passing it along was a means of survival that we still carry with us today. 
Rick Hanson wrote a fascinating book on the subject called Buddha's Brain: The Practical Neuroscience of Happiness, Love and Wisdom and in it he cites how studies have shown that the brain detects negative information faster than positive, stores it for longer and creates very lasting and difficult to undo pathways that we will reactivate when we find ourselves in similar circumstances. Did you know that in personal relationships it can take up to 5 positive interactions to undo just one negative interaction? It actually takes numerous go overs to unlearn a negative experience which is why it is so difficult to forgive someone when they hurt or betray you, it isn't easy because your brain actually physically resists you creating a new pathway. 
Your brain is unconsciously always deciding whether to avoid or approach everything that it encounters in the world, and regardless of how extroverted you may be, your brain in its most primal form is actually naturally wired to avoidance first and fighting against that is what causes feelings of anxiety. However, not all hope is lost, you don't need to avoid everything and you don't have to suffer relentless anxiety, there are ways to retrain your brain.
Hanson goes on to explain that your brain can override these instincts and be retrained to develop compassion through practising mindfulness, gratitude and self affirmation. You can actually create overriding positives for yourself that will crush your negative experiences, create new and better brain pathways and lead you to a more emotionally balanced and calm lifestyle. 
In short, you don't need to feel like a slave to negative words and thoughts, you can chose positive ones through repetition and focus. You can start today by passing on some good news, sharing your thoughts of gratitude or complimenting others instead of being the bearer of bad news. You don't actually have to help bad news travel at all if you don't want to, you have the power to give yourself peace of mind because you have evolved far beyond the need to ignite your monkey brain functions, you're a higher and more evolved being than that now. 
So it's time to spark your good news, pass along some positives and give yourself a compliment every single day because when you do that you are actually annihilating negative pathways that you have previously carved into your brain and giving yourself the opportunity to be free from anxiety. You deserve to have peace of mind and now you know that it is as easy as being more mindful of your thoughts about others and yourself and honing your ability to focus on the positives around you, it's really is that simple! Change your focus, be positive and be complementary and I promise that you will feel a whole lot calmer and more in control of your emotions, trust me it really works!  

FINDING NEMO 
Release Date: 2003
Rating: G
Running Time: 100 mins
Pixar Animation Studios really raised the bar with their computer animated, comedy-drama Finding Nemo. This movie tells a meaningful and heartfelt tale of a father-son relationship set under the sea in Australia.
When young clown fish Nemo gets taken from the Great Barrier Reef by a diver, his father Marlin sets out on an epic adventure across the ocean to find his son. Meanwhile Nemo, who has arrived in Sydney, finds himself in a dentist's fish tank filled with a bevvy of other tropical fish that are keen to make an escape. 
There are loads of laughs to be had here, mostly coming from Ellen DeGeneres' character Dory; but more than that, this movie is a visual delight with it's brightly coloured depictions of life aquatic. 
FINAL SAY: Just keep swimming!
4 Chilli Peppers
NOTE: Finding Dory (2016) was an excellent sequel to Finding Nemo, every bit as beautiful and enjoyable as it's predecessor. Boasting a consistent voice cast, this next adventure of sea life mishap is based around a city aquarium.   ​

Everyone has at least one great story to tell. Some people actually have even more than that, but everyone has at least one story that will either enchant, revolt, tantalize, amuse or tug at your heart strings in some way. The reason that I know this to be true is because I like to really listen to people, and when you really listen to people they will tell you the most marvellous things.
Not everything that people will tell you when you listen to them will be happy, in fact some things will be sad or even harrowing or worst of all vile, but they will tell you a story if you give them enough of your attention and ask the right questions, and that is when you will hear the most interesting stories that will stay with you forever. And stories should be varied anyway, our experience of the human condition is completely individualised and therefore multifaceted. No two people have the same life experiences and no two people will even view the same life experience in the same way, so when you think about it like that there are actually billions and billions of untold stories floating around inside random people right now just waiting to be heard. 
Some people have a genuine gift for storytelling and when they start to speak you just want to grab a cuppa and a cushion and dig in for a good listening session. Other people aren't quite as engaging when they tell their tales, but that doesn't make their stories any less meaningful or interesting in the long run. Sometimes the briefest of tales can be the most poignant and meaningful. It is claimed that Ernest Hemingway once wrote a six-word story that could make people for a cry for a bet. The wager was ten dollars, which Hemingway won with the following: "For Sale: Baby Shoes. Never worn." 
In 2006, Wired magazine followed Hemingway's example and asked sci-fi, fantasy and horror writers to come up with their own six word stories, here are a few of my favourites: 
Gown removed carelessly. Head, less so.
- Joss Whedon
Longed for him. Got him. Shit.
- Margaret Atwood
The baby’s blood type? Human, mostly.
- Orson Scott Card
Kirby had never eaten toes before.
- Kevin Smith
TIME MACHINE REACHES FUTURE!!! … nobody there …
- Harry Harrison
Heaven falls. Details at eleven.
- Robert Jordan
He read his obituary with confusion.
- Steven Meretzky
You just gotta love a good story, and even though some are clearly more interesting or insightful than others, none of them are not worth hearing. Who knows? The next person that you meet could have the most interesting tale in the world to share with you! So make sure you take some time to listen to the people around you...because they do want to tell you things! 

ONCE UPON A TIME IN HOLLYWOOD
Release Date: 2019
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 161 mins 
A crime/ drama and at times an exceptionally dark comedy, Once Upon a Time In Hollywood is Quentin Tarantino's brilliantly executed homage to the end of The Golden Age of Hollywood. With a massive ensemble cast and multiple storylines, this is a fairy tale retell of the days surrounding the brutal Sharon Tate murders by the Manson cult that occurred in 1969. Unlike other Tarantino movies, this film demonstrates more restraint around the levels of on screen graphic gore and violence...well...mostly, there are still some intense graphic scenes to experience here, but it is Tarantino and we have all come to expect some shock violence from his films. 
Fading Western television star Rick Dalton (Leonardo DiCaprio) and his best friend and stunt double Cliff Booth (Brad Pitt) encounter colourful and controversial characters as they try to maneuver Dalton out of Hollywood 'Has-Been' oblivion and back into the limelight with the help of spaghetti westerns and Hollywood opportunities. 
No late '60's stone goes unturned here, with everything from The Playboy Mansion and Roman Polanski  to Bruce Lee  and Charles Manson getting a look in. And it all mishmashes together into one terrifically enjoyable old pop culture tribute that I completely adored. I was riveted for the duration and grateful to see something so refreshingly new at the cinema again. 
DiCaprio and Pitt are not only on their A game but they are having a lot of fun with this already witty script. The cast is absolutely massive; Tarantino has again used Zoe Bell and Kurt Russell well, but has also added some fresh new faces to his cast list with notable performances from Margot Robbie as Sharon Tate, Lena Dunham as Gypsy, Dakota Fanning as Squeaky Fromme, Bruce Dern as George Spahn and stealing some hard to grab attention from everyone else was newcomer Julia Butters playing the wise western star child Trudi. 
This is not my favourite Tarantino offering, but I cannot deny that it is one of his best, and it is definitely the best thing that I have seen at the cinema so far this year. 
FINAL SAY: It's official, old buddy. I'm a has-been.
4.5 Chilli Peppers ​

All of my life I have wanted to have people around me that I could share my experiences with and rely on when times were tough. Ever since The Goonies set off in search of One Eyed Willy's Treasure (just on a side note, has anyone else noticed the incredible inappropriateness of that name as an adult?) I have always longed to be part of a group or team that had a common goal and accepted me for who I am. A faithful, reliable and steadfast group of people that would loyally support me and embrace all of the wacky weirdness that I deliver on a daily basis without making me feel like I needed to be any different or edit myself.  
In all honesty, hardly anyone truly gets to experience a genuine Goonies childhood group of friends, because we all know that kids are fickle and friendships change as quick as knickers for them.  However, when you become an adult you start to look for people that you can share like minded experiences with, enjoy a good meal and good conversation with and most importantly, someone that can act like a harbour in a tempest when the waves of life get a little too choppy.  
The sad thing about that is, that not everyone finds friends like that in their lives. Not everyone gets to know the extreme joy and sense of belonging that one can only experience when they are drawn into a tribe of good people and then find much more than just common ground but something supremely supportive and genuine. 
However, finding genuinely enriching friendships is actually quite difficult because adults come with massive amounts of baggage, have no idea how to even be a decent friend and from my experience, a lot of adults would rather cut you down than share in your peace, love and mung beans ideals of friendship. Some adults just aren't looking for new friends, they aren't interested in sharing their time with anyone and they really couldn't give a shit about camaraderie or common goals, but I am pretty sure that they didn't always feel that way. 
Friendships that are that solid and meaningful do actually require a lot of work and a sacrifice of personal time, a sacrifice that many adults just can't be bothered investing in. And to cultivate good friendships you also have to put up with people not being as invested or genuine as you are, and that part sucks pretty badly. I have had some bloody dreadful friends over the years that have made me feel used, manipulated, uneasy, offended and even rejected but I also learnt a shit load from those experiences about what friendship is and what I am looking for when it comes to my own friendships.
As an adult, I have some of the most delightful, engaging and meaningful friendships that I have ever had in my life right now. I have friendships that have spanned decades and some that are just beginning to blossom, I have friends that are super easy to be around and some that take a little more work, but I love them all in varied and special ways. I have social friends, work mates, family friends, long time friends and occasional friends and I like to spend time with them all. All of my friends bring something to the table for me and I love them dearly because they are all darlings. 
So, yeah maybe I didn't get to experience a dedicated friendship group as a kid, but as a 46 year old woman I have more friends and good people in my life than I have ever had before and that is such a wonderful feeling. Maybe in some ways I am finally getting my long desired Goonies experience after all, just in adulthood. Pretty sure that I would be the Chunk of the group these days because I certainly do have the perfect stomach for a little truffle shuffle! 

I was looking at a photo of myself in my Year 8 homeroom class the other day. Good Lord! I was so ridiculously awkward and dorky, there are just no words to describe it accurately, but I will try. Slightly spotty, thin as a rail - which actually goes against everything that my ballet teacher told me that year about how my neck was way too fat for me to ever be a ballet dancer (thanks Charlotte, that didn't half damage me as a teenager!) but anyway, let's get back to my youthful hopelessness. In the photo I have the worst perm imaginable, I mean truly horrific, I do recall wanting a trendy 80's Madonna spiral perm and what I got was more Kath Day-Knight from Kath and Kim than anything Madonna would ever be seen dead in. I don't have a scrap of make-up on, I have a discoloured front tooth, I have the limpest lace headband on and I look like I have no idea what's going on whatsoever. 
What I do get from that photo though is my complete innocence and obvious unawareness of just how much of a dork I actually am. And in truth, I don't actually even remember being or feeling like a total dork in early high school. I don't even think that anyone picked on me for that horrific hairdo or for being a pretty big sado, even though that photo does scream sad on so many levels. However, I do firmly believe that if any teenager rocked up to high school looking like that these days that they would be eaten alive by their peers. 
Now I don't want to paint an inaccurate picture of high school in the eighties being all rainbows and one big lovey-dovey getalong fest, because that would be total bullshit, it wasn't like that at all. High school in the eighties was also a brutal and cruel landscape that teenagers had to endure and attempt to maneuver through with as little baggage and a need for therapy at the other end. I'm pretty sure that high school in any decade came with it's own unique challenges and horrific coming of age awkwardness. However, when I was at high school the standards and expectations around teenage beauty were quite different and without any social media saturation, I think that the pressures to conform to certain physical standards were much lower for us than they are for teenagers now. 
Back in my day, every teenage girl wanted to look like the gorgeous teenage models on the front of Dolly magazine, but honestly even those perfect specimens were really quite normal and healthy looking Australian teens. Some of them even had visible imperfections, and since airbrushing was not a practised art, those girls looked real and felt quite accessible. They weren't glossy or perfect and they really looked like teenage girls and not like young adults. Some Dolly cover girls even had crooked teeth, thick unplucked eyebrows and heaven forbid -everyday faces! And the magazine regularly had articles and advice about realistic health and wellbeing issues that teenage girls legitimately faced at that time. I loved Dolly when I was a teenager and some of those self empowerment articles helped me to believe in my inner beauty and find confidence in my own imperfect skin.
I actually work across the road and around the corner from two secondary schools and everyday I see gorgeous teenage girls walking to and from school. Some of those girls look years older than they actually are and so many of them have dreadful posture because they are slumped over their iphones as they travel around. Some of them will never truly understand the power that they have right now; the poor things can't even see their own potential, youth and beauty because they are so caught up in trying to be part of a manufactured and unrealistic standard. And because of that, they are robbing themselves of their right to be innocent and imperfect. 
How fast do your teenage years go? So damn fast and once they are gone, they are gone forever. You literally have the entire rest of your life to perfect your flaws, find your signature look and climb upon the wheel of lifelong beauty struggles as most adult women tend to do. However, in your teenage years it's totally fine to have imperfect teeth and skin, it's okay to have some puppy fat and a bad perm, it's expected that you will wear clothes that are not in your colours or that suit your style and body shape, and above all it's your time to embrace looking like a total dork and not even caring about it!
Sure, I looked like a trainwreck in Year 8, but I was blissfully unaware of that and I am so glad that I got to have those early teenage years of innocence and oblivion. Who knows what kind of an obsessive nutter I would be now if I hadn't have had that time? I shudder at the thought, and I also feel so very sorry and mostly sad for all of the gorgeous teenagers out there that are already overthinking things way too much for their own good, underestimating their appearance and not revelling in a soon to be lost and never to be returned - age of innocence. 

I know that I am so often banging on like a Salvation Army drum about self care, self maintenance and self awareness, and obviously I do hold those things in very high regard. However, with that being said, I do also believe that it is not only our job to care for ourselves, but to also care for others as well. We have an obligation to help everyone and everything on the planet as well as ourselves, which means that we need to not only be hyper vigilant about caring for ourselves but also extremely attentive with our care and concern for the wellbeing of others as well. 
There is no point running about claiming to have your shit together if you are neglecting your loved ones, your friends, members of your community or anyone else that finds themselves in times of hardship or crisis.  We are not doing well in the world when we ignore those around us that are fallen, weak, lonely or destitute.
When we find ourselves in a position of good fortune and wellness then it is our turn to extend a hand, an ear or a dollar to assist others to stand back up onto their feet as well. Some people are only in need of some quality time, a little tea and sympathy may be all that is required. A kind word, a small gesture or thought, a supportive conversation; helping others doesn't have to be expensive or difficult.
It is true that some people's needs may require more time and money than you can invest in on your own, but you can still be a catalyst in launching a meaningful kick start with the help of a local charity or foundation. You can volunteer some time to a local organisation that is in alignment with something that you care about, you can help to fundraise for an important cause and you can spare a few dollars to allow someone else to have more. 
People often don't volunteer because they just don't know where to start, but there are some amazing online resources for people that want to volunteer that can help you to find ways to be supportive and it is super easy to do. The best place to start if you are Australian is to hop onto the govolunteer.com.au website. You can put in your postcode and it will list all of the volunteering opportunities that are coming up in your local area and you can even refine your searches to chose the days, times and types of volunteer activities that you would like to participate in. Once you have found an opportunity that suits you, you just put in an expression of interest to the organisation and you're on your way to making a difference. 
However, if getting involved in something big or organisational isn't your bag, then that's okay too because there are always things that need to be done on a small scale that are no less meaningful or important. You do not need to be making grand or sweeping gestures to be making a difference in the lives of others or showing that you care about the needs of others. In fact, if you really start to listen to the people that are around you everyday in your immediate community, you will find that there are actually opportunities to offer support an help in simple and yet very meaningful ways all of the time. 
Do you know of a tired parent in need a childminder so that they can go and have a coffee with a friend or have an interrupted haircut? Does an exhausted friend need a meal cooked for them and a sympathetic ear? Does a sad co-worker need to be told how amazing they are and what a terrific job they do? Does your elderly neighbour need their lawn mowed? Does your partner deserve a back rub? Have you told your children or your parents how much you appreciate them? There are millions of ways that we can be taking care of others everyday, and more often than not it costs very little of your time, effort and money to do so. 
And the best thing of all about caring for others is that is so good for your soul and your own sense of wellbeing. Start with something small, a random act of kindness or an act of support to someone in your community, and keep building on it. If everyone that was able to offer just a little of themselves every week to help someone else in need, can you imagine what a marvellous world we would live in and how terrifically supported we would all feel? Pay a little of your time, love and/or money forward this week to someone else and enjoy the feeling of knowing that you are making a difference, helping out someone in need, doing something meaningful and contributing to something a whole lot bigger than yourself. 

Dozens of people have told me how they never, ever watch foreign movies because the sub-titles really piss them off. Fair enough I suppose; but in all seriousness you are missing out on some incredibly good movies if you aren't willing to watch subtitled films.
I do accept that subtitled films are not a good choice if you are:
a. a poor reader 
b. drunk
c. a xenophobe
d. blind
e. any combination of or all of the above
To everyone else I say, come on really? Deciding that you will not watch subtitled films is like saying that you are not interested in interpretations of the human experience unless they are expressed in english, and I find that kind of thinking pretty narrow minded.
Foreign films come in every genre and they offer a fresh perspective that cannot be matched by english speaking films. How do I know this? Well, I know this because more often than not, when a foreign film is snapped up and reproduced in english, it is usually absolute shit, or at best just a whitewashed version of something that has already been done really well and should have been left alone. I do make an exception to that rule for The Departed, 12 Monkeys, and Brothers, everything else though...absolutely unnecessary, just see the original foreign film for goodness sake!
I think that by now I have clearly established my love of foreign cinema, and if you are one of those people who is hesitant to embark on a culturally enlightening and magical foreign film journey, then here is a list of  my top 20 favorite foreign movies to kick start your subtitled adventures. I absolutely  guarantee that these movies are all gems! 

1. Pan's Labyrinth (Spanish) -  fantasy (5 Chilli Peppers) 
2. The Great Beauty (Italian) - drama (5 Chilli Peppers) 
3. Roma (Mexican) - drama (4.5 Chilli Peppers) 
4. The Bicycle Thief (Italian) - drama (4.5 Chilli Peppers) 
5. Jean de Florette and Manon des Source - (French) period drama (4.5 Chilli Peppers) 
6. Blancanieves (Spanish) - fantasy (4.5 Chilli Peppers) 
7. The Wages of Fear - (French) drama (4 Chilli Peppers)
8. The Tunnel (South Korean) - suspense (4 Chilli Peppers)
9. Run Lola Run (German) - action/ sci-fi (4 Chilli Peppers) 
10. La Femme Nikita (French) - action (4 Chilli Peppers) 
11. In the Mood for Love (Chinese) - romance (4 Chilli Peppers) 
12. Downfall (German) - war (4 Chilli Peppers)
13. Amelie (French) - romance/ fantasy (4 Chilli Peppers) 
14. Kung Fu Hustle (Chinese) - action/ comedy (4 Chilli Peppers) 
15. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (Chinese/ Taiwanese) - action/fantasy (4 Chilli Peppers) 
16. Cinema Paradiso (Italian)  - drama (4 Chilli Peppers)
17. Amores Perros (Mexican) - gritty (4 Chilli Peppers) 
18. Dogtooth (Greek) - gritty (4 Chilli Peppers) 
19. Oldboy (South Korean) - gritty (4 Chilli Peppers)  
20. Life is Beautiful (Italian) - war (4 Chilli Peppers) 

And they're only the ones that scored 4 Chilli Peppers or more, and trust me when I say that there's plenty more where that came from! Head over to my foreign genre lists for more subtitled treasures to enjoy or to check out any of the full reviews of the films listed above, happy subtitle reading! 

I love women, I think that they are just amazing. Super resilient, smart, courageous and able to deliver new life into the world, women have really got it all going on! When it comes to feminism I very loudly approve. I am willing to march for other women, fight for women's equality and give anyone that says that women aren't as good, worthy or adept as men a very stern fuck off! Basically, I support feminism and equal rights for women on every front, but lately I have noticed that feminism has taken a rather strange turn. 
Lately, I have noticed that statements like 'lack of sisterhood' have been used to shame some women when they aren't willing to support every other woman on the planet. Some stupid and ridiculous women are actually expecting that just because we all have vaginas that we should be part of a 'sisterhood' that supports each other no matter what! And to that concept I say - no way!  Why do I say that? Well because, some women are quite frankly dreadful human beings. They say terrible things, they do terrible things and they do not deserve to be supported by other women. In short, some women are not doing anything to make the women's equal rights movement any stronger and they are not nice people.
Any woman that expects other women to look a certain way, or endorses a product that holds women to unrealistic standards or props up bullshit prejudices and narrow-mindedness in men, is not someone that I am going to call my sister. I will not support women that demonstrate bias, bitch about other women in derogatory ways or perform any services or acts that take away from women being perceived as equal, worthy or important. This doesn't mean that I don't value feminism or sisterhood or think that we should not support other women. What it does mean is that I hold all women accountable for their behaviours, just as I do for men, and if you're a horrible women then I'm sorry, but I'm not going to support you just because we both have the same genitals.  A vagina is not a Get Out of Jail Free Card!
There is a huge difference between feminism and being accountable, and no genuine feminist would ever seek to gain power through shame or manipulation. Feminists do not expect women to fit a certain mould or hate men,  feminists just want equal rights, and that I do support wholeheartedly. I will not support women that constantly put men down, imply that they are stupid or insinuate that all men are shithouse. Not all men are shithouse, and saying that does not make me anti-feminist. Not all women are nice either, and that also doesn't make me anti-feminist, it makes me a realist and I am only going to support what I believe to be sensical, fair and equitable.
Where has our common sense gone on this topic? There can never be a sisterhood if some sisters are actually the equivalent of the ebola virus for feminism. Sorry ladies, you're actually not all fabulous, some of you are just horrid, insidious, manipulative turds that are a smear on the face of feminism. Fortunately, there aren't too many of you and for the most part women are, as I said earlier, completely bloody amazing and capable of doing anything that they put their minds to.

I am always so surprised when people tell me that they get bored. Who gets bored these day? It is such a weird and incomprehensible thing for me to fathom because I honestly cannot remember the last time that I felt slightly bored. With so many interesting things to do and so many things that simply must be done, I rarely have that much free downtime as it is, and when I do have it, I can assure you that I am never, ever bored. 
You don't have to have a million hobbies or be profoundly busy to distract yourself from boredom, in fact there are so many things that you can do with your downtime that are not only enjoyable but also super productive as well. Here is a list of my personal favourite boredom beaters, as well as some other ideas that I haven't even had the time to have a crack at yet.  
​If should ever find yourself with some free time and nothing to do with it, then I suggest that you take a look at this list: 

• Learn a new skill, language or hobby.
• Read a book. 
• Listen to a podcast.
• Schedule appointments at the doctor, masseuse, dentist, salon etc. 
• Work out. 
• Go for a walk.
• Bake.
• Learn to play an instrument. 
• Set yourself a new personal goal (in detail with all of the steps) and get busy making it happen.
• Start a blog.
• Watch a movie or TV series.
• Write in a journal.
• Go through your old photos and make up some memory albums.
• Revise your budget.
• Do yoga. 
• Visit a local tourist attraction.
• Volunteer.
• Knit, sew or crochet something. 
• Declutter your home. 
• Play a game, either a board game or a console game. 
• Make plans to catch up with friends or family somewhere new. 
• Take an online course.
• Start meditating.
• Clean out your inbox and unsubscribe to emails.
• Create a vision board. 
• Write a meal plan and a shopping list to go with it. 
• Clean out your wardrobe.
• Paint a picture or color in a mindful coloring book.
• Reconnect with people you haven't seen in while eg. email, text, call. 
• Plan a holiday.
• Update your resume.
• Go to the cinema. 
• Call a long distance friend or family member for a chat.
• Watch an inspiring Ted Talk. 
• Perform a random act of kindness. 
• Clean out your pantry and fridge.
• Practise self care eg. take a bath, exfoliate, give yourself a facial, pedicure or manicure. 
• Cook a new dish.
• Start a veggie or floral garden.
• Pick up a camera and start shooting.
• Visit the local library. 
• Make a craft or fold origami. 
• Find a youtube channel that interests you and follow it. 
• Donate to charity. 

I know that there is nothing actually wrong with being bored from time to time, sometimes it can actually be a good thing because it motivates us to try new things. But it's just generally so grey, melancholic and unproductive that I don't think that anyone would actually choose to be bored. Besides from what I have seen and learnt about boredom over the years, I think that it can lead people down some pretty strange and even destructive roads if it goes on for too long. What's that old saying about 'idle hands and the devils work'? I can't say for sure that being productive or unbored will actually keep anyone out of trouble, but it will certainly leave less time for anyone to find it!  

So many people are getting sick at the moment, and it's easy to understand why when the weather is constantly freezing and the wind chill factor makes your fingers, toes and face ache. Even Craig, who rarely if ever gets sick, has a runny nose, sore throat and even gravelier than usual rattle to his speech. The kids at my school appear to have various things leaking out of a variety of orifices and a number of the staff are looking a little worse for wear in spite of just returning from a winter holiday break. But that is July in Ballarat for you - cold, freezing, freezing cold or Tundra, and if you don't like cold weather then moving here would be the stupidest idea in the world. 
A common misconception about Australia is that we have nothing but hot weather. I think that a lot of foreigner visitors expect that since we have so much desert that we are going to be sweltering hot all year round, but that is just not the case. I cannot deny that summers are actually pretty hot all over the country, with the exception of Tasmania which never seems to get over 35 degrees celsius. And I know that 35 degrees celcius may sound hot to some people, but when it comes to Australian summers, 35 is considered the ideal.
In summer it genuinely does get hot, really, really hot. I have seen roads literally melting into sticky tar puddles and desperate snakes searching for water in very open and risky areas in the summertime and it is nothing to get a string of 45+ degree days that make you intensely worried about bushfires when you live in the outlying bush areas.
However, contrary to popular opinions about Australia, it doesn't stay like that all year round and some areas are frickin freezing and even snowy in the winter time. Ballarat is one of those areas and if you're from another more temperate area of the country, the weather here can seem brutally cold and the winters intolerably long. It seems brutally cold and intolerably long to me, and I have lived in the area for over 30 years, but to be truthful I do this every year. I whinge about the cold in the dark of winter and I complain about melting at the peak of summer, but at the end of the day I have very good heating and cooling, and absolutely nothing to whine about at all. I even had my hot water system die this winter and guess what?I lived! Okay, I stank a lot too, but I did survive until I could pin down a plumber to sort out my problem. 
​I think that if you have your health you can face just about anything really, and that's why I really don't want to catch another dreaded lurgy right now, I've already had one of those this year and I hated it! I can totally deal with the wind, the ice and even the snow but please, please don't let me get another lurgy!
Sidenote: I'm already regretting putting that much energy into the sickness topic now, it's a bloody recipe for disaster! I'm just asking for trouble! 

Most people have suffered from some form of anxiety in their lives, some more severe than others, but we all know what it feels like to be anxious, worried or stressed. Unfortunately, anxiety is not something that many people would feel comfortable to admit to having because we all feel so much pressure to appear 'put together.' No-one wants to seem like they haven't got their shit together because we all exist in the same world, a world that praises high achievers and snubs failure. It's a social status quo and we are all expected to adhere to the unspoken parametres within that expectation, but for people with anxiety it can be very challenging to keep it all together without sacrificing their overall wellbeing. 
Chronic anxiety sufferers are usually acutely aware of their condition and are often medicated and/or professionally supported to manage their stress levels, but high functioning anxiety sufferers can go completely unnoticed and may not even be aware that they have anxiety themselves. Unchecked high functioning anxiety sufferers can develop into chronic sufferers if they don't receive proper treatment or intervention. It is therefore extremely important for everyone to be aware of the signs and symptoms of high functioning anxiety so that they can identify when others may require support, or if they are suffering from any unchecked symptoms themselves. 
1. Hair pulling and skin picking
This is a very typical sign in anxiety sufferers. Nail biting, picking the skin around nails, cracking knuckles, biting the inside of their mouth or pacing around are all physically signs that the sufferer is attempting to release anxiety. 
2. Lying in Bed Awake
Anxiety sufferers have sleep problems because they cannot shut off their minds, ongoing sleep deprivation will only escalate a sufferers anxiety levels if it goes unchecked. 
3. Experience Racing Thoughts
Another common symptom of anxiety sufferers is compulsive overthinking, they will think about things far into the future and even go through several scenarios in their minds. They will struggle to unwind or shut down after a working day. 
4. Overplanning
Extensive to-do lists, over-researching topics, planning the week ahead in extreme detail and over packing for simple excursions are all signs that a person is dealing with anxiety.
5. Counting
Anxious people often count items in a room, like lights on the roof or tiles on a floor in an attempt to quiet their racing mind. 
6. Engaging in Rituals
Just like counting, needing things to be competed in a ritualistic form are ways of releasing anxiety. However, often the rituals become so ingrained that they actually elevate a sufferers anxiety levels when they become obsessive. 
7. Procrastinating
Many high functioning anxiety sufferers are also perfectionists, so they will procrastinate things that may feel like they are not up to completing successfully. 
8. Writing Dozens of Notes
Anxiety sufferers will want to write everything down in an attempt to stay in control. They will have Post-it notes plastered everywhere, it makes them feel like they have increased their bandwidth for higher performance. 
9. Over-Organising
Creating systems of predictability decreases anxiety for sufferers. They will want a clear schedule when they are taken out of their usual environment and they prefer to design that themselves. 
10. Unexplained aches and soreness in muscles
This is because anxiety sufferers tend to tighten up involuntarily which can lead to a sore neck, back and shoulders. They may need to see their physiotherapist more as a consequence.

As I mentioned earlier, we have all suffered from some form of anxiety in our lives and if you suffer from one or two of these symptoms occasionally then you probably don't really have anything to worry about. However, if you can relate to more than half of these symptoms, then you may be suffering from high functioning anxiety. So, if you feel like any of your symptoms are holding you back from feeling happy or being more fulfilled, then it is probably time for you to talk to a therapist about some treatment and strategies to help you manage your anxiety levels. Remember, unchecked high functioning anxiety can lead to more serious health complications down the track if it is left untreated, so if you are concerned about your stress or anxiety levels get some professional advice and support as soon as you can. 

​IT FOLLOWS
Release Date: 2015
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 100 mins 
When it comes to creepy as hell concepts, this film wins hands down. Directed and written by David Robert Mitchell, It Follows is a smart and original horror that will make even the toughest horror fans edgy with it's fast building paranoia. 
19 year old Jay has the worst sexual encounter possible, discovering soon after that her sexual partner has passed on to her an insidious and relentless being that follows it's prey day and night until it destroys them. The only way to get rid of this follower is to have sex with someone else and then they become the followed, however, if they should be killed by it, then it automatically transfers itself back to the last in line. 
This is terrifically atmospheric horror, working on multiple levels and rife with tension and anxiety. The story plays out well, with a cast of virtually unknown youngsters all behaving convincingly horrified and concerned, and the overall feeling that you are left with is one of unease, what more could you ask for when it comes to horror? 
FINAL SAY: It could look like someone you know, or it could be a stranger in a crowd.
4 Chilli Peppers

I have this little daily inspirations magnet on my fridge at home. Everyday you tear off a page to get a dose of daily zen and sometimes the messages that I get really speak to me and even set me up for a day of happy, positive thinking with their inspirational quotes and ideas. Today when I tore off the little sheet of paper I saw this:
                              Neither seek nor avoid, take what comes.
                                            SWAMI VIVEKANANDA
Now I am all about living in the moment, which is pretty much my personal mantra, but neither seek nor avoid? Come on, that's extreme! I am all for counting your blessings and finding bliss in what you have, but I don't think that we should just settle. Life, the world, everything around us is in constant movement, if we just stop seeking and avoiding, we will more than likely just stand still and nothing will progress. Seeking is what makes us hungry, it's what makes us discover and invent, it's what changes us and motivates us. Sometimes not seeking a better option or looking around for new ideas is really just demonstrative of a lack of motivation, and that's definitely not a virtue in my books. How are you supposed to grow if you are not supposed to seek? That's called marinating my friends, and it's not ideal. And how does a person just stop being curious anyway? It's human nature to be curious, and I don't think that it is 'unzen' to want to look around sometimes. 
And what about not avoiding? I have even bigger issues with that one. Obviously one should always avoid a head on collision with a truck or getting an addiction to crack, and I am aware that the Swami wasn't being that literal when he said 'don't avoid', but there are a lot of other things that one should avoid in life in that it would be just plain stupid not to. Like avoiding unnecessary conflict, harsh words, arguments and being involved in any kind of shitty talk about other people. Also it's definitely a good idea to avoid being rude, ignorant, racist, sexist, insensitive...shall I go on? If you just go into everything in the world blindly or without a care for anyone else because you're on the 'neither seek nor avoid, take what comes' life mantra, odds are you're just asking for trouble and trouble will find you, and then you'll just have to accept that too! If the human race didn't avoid sometimes, there would be constant war and unrest in the world, sometimes avoiding trouble or danger is not only smart it's extremely wise and necessary to getting along. 
I just cannot abide by Swami Vivekananda's questionably sage theory if I am being honest because I actually believe that in certain circumstances, taking what comes without question or without using your common sense is really stupid and will only lead to disaster. We are supposed to seek, we are supposed to learn from our mistakes and therefore avoid what we know is disastrous, and we are not meant to just blindly take whatever is dished out to us, because we all deserve better than that. 
I am certainly no Swami, but if I was asked to give my version of the that inspirational quote to be put into a daily zen calendar it would probably say something a little more like this:
    Seek what you need to feel sated, avoid what is unnecessary and unkind,                                      and don't take anything too seriously or for granted. 
                                                         GURU SPICYWATCH 

SEVEN SAMURAI
Release Date: 1954
Rating: PG
Running Time: 207 mins
A Japanese action- adventure film co-written, edited and directed by Akira Kurosawa. Seven Samurai has truly stood the test of time and is still regarded as one of the most highly influential, remade, reworked and referenced films in cinema. I must admit that I felt completely bound to see this film because it kept turning up on so many people's must see lists, I knew that I must have been missing something important, and I was because this is an amazing period action movie, that deserves at least one viewing in everyone's life time. 
Set in 1586 during the Warring States Period of Japan, a village of local farmers hire seven ronin (masterless samurai) to combat a group of thieving bandits that have been ravaging their crops and terrorizing their families for years. 
Seven Samurai is not reliant on gore or effects to depict it's action scenes, there is a real sense of cavalry and style being used here that really enhances the overall effect of the film. As one of the only movies on Rotten Tomatoes to get a full 100% certified fresh rating, this film has just the right mix of everything to keep you interested and engaged, and at over three hours running time, that's really saying something! 
FINAL SAY: Danger always strikes when everything seems fine.
4.5 Chilli Peppers ​

Even the most secure people in the world need to be reassured from time to time, it's human to seek validation and it is not weak to admit that you require some reassured from time to time. I know that every now and then I like to be told that I'm doing okay, that I'm a good person and that I'm completely lovable, and when I don't receive any validation for a while, I start to listen to my persistent and annoying inner voice of self doubt, and then I start to stumble. 
I wasn't raised in a very validating home as a child. Behavioural expectations were high, imperfections were highlighted and opportunities to 'cut one down to size' were used as an everyday form of punishment and embarrassment. Unfortunately, these less than encouraging formative years have had a profound effect on who I have become as an adult, and as a consequence, I have had to severely escalated my efforts to break certain molds and cycles and find a sense of self assurance.
In the past, I have been rejected by my parents because they didn't like my behaviour, I have lost friends who thought that I wasn't worth the effort and my own siblings have all estranged me because they've perceived me to be unlovable and mean. As you would imagine, these things have had a massive effect on my life and have made me quite insecure. I have struggled all my life to feel accepted, comfortable and secure with who I am.
I have poured unknowable hours of my time into self help, self motivation and self care in an attempt to quench my need for acceptance and love, but sometimes you can only get the type of reassurance that you are really looking for from the people around you. There is no book, guide, meditation, fitness class, job or other external thing that can replace someone that you love telling you that they also love you and think that you're amazing. And that is a fact, we all need to feel like we are loved by someone and that we are perfect just the way that we are. It is not just reassuring, it's downright empowering to love and be loved in return, it's the best feeling in the world to know that there is someone on the planet that adores you in some way, shape or form for just being who you are. 
The bottom line is that none of us are completely self-sufficient, even though many of us pretend to be. However, the best thing that all of my self help attempts has taught me over the years is that the most insecure people in the world are those that cannot acknowledge their fears and insecurities, and that pretending to have it all together when you don't is not only stupid, it's also counterproductive to moving forward.  
So now, when I feel like I'm floundering, I just tell people. I spill out the stupid in my head and I say out loud - I need some reassurance. And it is totally okay to say that. No-one feels fabulous all of the time, and sometimes a simple word of reassurance from someone that you care about can be enough to get you back on track and fight off that self deprecating voice inside of you that can be doggedly determined to convince you otherwise.
No-one has to break out the accolades, send in the marching band or shroud me with words of praise in order to reassure me, a simple - I think you're important and I care about you is really all that it takes to reboot my system. But sometimes I need to hear it, and as corny and as silly as that may sound to admit, I just need to hear it. I'm human and sometimes I need some reassurance, and you know, I really don't think that there is anything wrong with admitting that. 

This holiday period has not come without it's own unique set of challenges. I am never really sure if it is a good thing for the wheels to drop off during a down period so that I have the time to properly deal with things, or if it only serves to rob me of some much needed down time. However, regardless of how I choose to perceive these inconveniences makes them no less real or prevalent in my life, so I choose to just face them head on and continue to search for the hidden silver linings in these hiccups of the human condition. 
What it has meant is that I have had less free time and also less money to splurge on the frivolous and fun things, but c'est la vie....like all things in life these moments of challenge are impermanent and constantly moving and won't last forever. You have to stay firmly rooted in the 'milk and honey' aspects of your life when you find yourself wrangling with darker days like these. Luckily,  I still have a lot of milk and honey in my life, so it is easy for me to be distracted by love, good company and humour. And it is in these moments of realisation about my blessings and good fortunes that I ponder how people that do not have these things still manage to find their milk and honey during the difficult times. 
It is easy not to drown when you have a life vest, a flotation buoy and a rescue boat coming to get you, but what do you do if you don't have those things in your life? Not everyone is as fortunate in life as I am, so where do they go when the world grows dims and the days feel darker? Clearly for people without good support units around them, things can get rather grim when life seems insurmountably difficult; but all hope is never totally lost because there is always help available if you know where to look for it. 
Aside from trying to expand your support networks, which can be ridiculous difficult for some people and sharpening your own coping skills, which again is easier said than done, there is always a voice of reason that can be reached out to when things get too big and the world gets too loud.
You don't need to have a life full of milk and honey to find a shoulder to lean on, a friendly voice or a helping hand that will pull you up when you feel like you can't lift yourself up, and the great news is that Australia has one of the best help lines in the world for this kind of thing. Lifeline (PH: 131114) is available 24 hours a day 7 days a week with experienced counsellors and it's free and completely confidential.  And no, lifeline is not just for people that want to commit suicide, it's for anyone in crisis that feels like they need someone to talk to or confide  in. 
Many people without adequate support don't reach out for help because they think that their problems may not be significant enough, but anyone in need without adequate support is significant enough. The counsellors at lifeline, regardless of a callers age, gender, ethnicity, religion or sexual orientation are there to listen, provide immediate support, offer strategies and options and provide  referrals that can assist with moving forward.
We all need someone to lean on from time to time, there is no shame in crawling sometimes or admitting that you are finding things hard. Bottom line is that life sometimes is hard, really bloody hard and if you don't have a support network around you, just remember that you are not alone and you do not have to do anything on your own. There is always help out there and your problems are more than important enough to tap into them, so please don't struggle on alone; reach out, open up, share the load and please, please.... get some help. 

PIN CUSHION
Release Date: 2017
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 82 mins 
When odd Iona and her hunchback mother Lyn relocate to a new town, they are both optimistic for a  fresh start and hoping to integrate into their new community and make new friends. Unfortunately, their naivety about just how vicious, exclusive and unpleasant bored suburban housewives and attention seeking teenagers can be, causes them to crumble. 
Written and directed by Deborah Haywood, Pin Cushion completely assaults your senses with it's onslaught of awkward coming of age interludes, cruel and manipulative behaviours and it's agonisingly emotional struggle for acceptance. Joanna Scanlan is amazing as the well meaning social pariah Lyn, and Lily Newmark is perfectly awkward as the 'desperate to be liked' teenager Iona. 
This is truly heartbreaking stuff and at times it is quite hard to watch. Pin Cushion openly explores the many facets of a mother-daughter relationship within a single parent dynamic and explores issues of loneliness, isolation, bullying and co-dependence in ways that cannot be ignored. 
FINAL SAY: It's not just children that can bully in relentlessly cruel ways. 
3.5 Chilli Peppers ​

One of the things that I do enjoy most about a mid-winter break is the ability to catch up on some late night viewing and couch potato antics without any guilty feelings whatsoever. Not having to get up and go to work in the morning allows me to indulge in the pleasure of watching entire seasons of television programs and back to back movies, and honestly it is just heaven. With a good strong coffee in hand, a couple of fluffed up pillows and a cosy blanket, I have managed to wonderfully while away many of my holiday evenings in front of the idiot box and I am more than happy to share my joyful at home viewing highlights with you, should you also wish to indulge in some quality lounge room viewing. 

As far as television goes, there has been no shortage of high quality, engaging programming to get completely lost in this year. I have watched a tonne of television this year, more than I ever have before and a lot of it has been of a really high standard as well. The best that I have seen and would highly recommend so far this year are: (in no particular order) 
Escape at Dannemora (Stan) - dramatisation
Sally 4Ever (HBO - Foxtel) - comedy
After Life (Netflix) - comedy drama
Les Miserables (BBC - Foxtel) - period drama
Game of Thrones - S8 (HBO - Foxtel) - fantasy drama
American Gods S2 (Amazon Prime) - fantasy drama
What We Do in the Shadows (FX - Foxtel) - horror comedy 
This Country (Stan) - comedy mockumentary 
Forever (Amazon Prime) - fantasy drama
Killing Eve s2 (ABC iview) - crime drama
The Last O.G. S2 (Stan) - comedy 
The Let Down S2 (ABC iview) - comedy 
Bad Omens (Amazon Prime) - fantasy drama
Detectorists S3 (ABC iview)  - comedy 
Gentleman Jack (HBO - Foxtel) - period drama
Bridget & Eamon (Amazon Prime) - comedy 
Euphoria (HBO - Foxtel) - drama
Chernobyl (HBO - Foxtel) - dramatisation 
The Act: Dee Dee and Gypsy Rose (Hulu - Foxtel) - dramatisation 
Perpetual Grace (Stan) - art house 
Big Little Lies S2 (HBO - Foxtel) - drama
Stranger Things S3 (Netflix)  - science fiction

To be honest, quality movies to view at home have been a little thinner on the ground, but it is often quite hard for me to find things that I haven't already seen on streaming channels because I go to the movies so often. Seth and I have been trawling through a lot of classic horror, which SBS on demand has an excellent selection of, should you need to sate a yearning for retro horror like The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Halloween, Hellraiser or Scanners. Aside from that Amazon Prime has the largest B grade horror library that I have ever encountered, admittedly it is mostly shit, but you can find the odd retro gem in there as well like Night of the Living Dead, Carrie,  Zombieland and the Friday the 13th Series. 
However, without further ado, here is a list of the best movies that I have watched on the couch (not at the cinema) this year so far: (again listed in no particular order)
Film Stars Don't Die in Liverpool - Netflix (Romance) 
It's Actually a Funny Story - Netflix (Drama)
Suspiria - Amazon Prime (Horror) 
Hush - Netflix (Horror) 
Tully - Netflix (Drama)
The Poughkeepsie Tapes - Stan (Gritty) 
Observance - Amazon Prime (Horror)
American Animals - Foxtel (Crime) 
I am Mother - Netflix (Sci-Fi) 
Pin Cushion - SBS on demand (Gritty) 
Mandy - Foxtel (Horror) 
Full reviews of all of these films can be found on the corresponding genre lists in the drop down menu above if you're looking for more information.
Happy viewing my friends! 

Thick girls get so many mixed messages, it is just ridiculous! I am certainly not what you would call a small lady, in fact I regularly call myself chubby, because truth is, I am. I wear size 16 clothes, I have loads of curves, I have a noticeable belly, I have cellulite and if I was ever to wear lycra I would probably look like the caterpillar out of A Bug's Life because I have fat rolls. However, contrary to what anyone wishes to think when they look at me, I am not ashamed of my body. I do not hate my curves, I do not get offended if someone calls be chubby and do not think that being thin is better than being thick.
I have been many shapes and sizes in my life and because of that I also know without a doubt that people do treat you better, give you more compliments and pay more attention to you when you are thinner. It is an unfortunate and completely unfair truth, but believe me, it is true. I think that it is great that we are seeing more body shapes in the media today and that there are some truly empowered larger ladies flying the flag for curvy lasses everywhere, but I know that as a society we still have a long way to go when it comes to accepting weight and body shape. 
As a thick lady, I feel like I am constantly bombarded with pressure and mixed messages about ideal weight, perfect health and genuine beauty, and it's so annoying. On one side there is this ideal Hollywood Chic body type aka 'the media spotlight woman' and a lot of women feel compelled to aspire to be like her. She's wafer thin and cinched in tightly. She has immaculate nails and hair and always looks perfectly polished, but if you hugged this lady it would probably feel like grasping a skin sack filled with knives and forks; lots of pointy stuff! Women think she's beautiful and men think she's sophisticated and high maintenance aka out of their league!
Then on the other side you have the self empowered Ashley Graham types who are shouting out 'embrace your beautiful curvy body' from the rooftops. They are genuinely thick but they are also very good looking so they get a lot of media coverage. Some of them certainly work hard to stop body shaming in very narrow minded industries like modelling, but are they really reaching the average Joe's of the world with their message? 
And what do you do if you don't fit into either of those cateogories? What if you are not Hollywood thin and you also aren't empowered by your curves, because your curves aren't necessarily in the right places like Iska Lawrence and you aren't stunningly good looking? What then? How are you supposed to love your body and your curves when no-one that is in the public eye that looks like you is celebrating how they look? Trust me when I say that this is a real dilemma for thick people, because I have been reading a lot on the topic and there is a genuine plea for everyday curvy lovelies to  get more media time.
And look, I'm not an idiot, I know that thin women also suffer the same anxieties over their bodies and not looking like they're 'supposed to' as well, but thick girls get treated like shit a lot more for not fitting the mold and it's just an unfortunate truth. However, it would seem that today the 'perfect' female body type is actually the least accessible body type that we have ever encountered before in history. To feel like you are meeting the feminine ideal these days, women need to be curvy, but only if they are in the right places like the boobs and the butt, definitely not around the tummy or the thighs. They need to be fit and toned in the arms and legs, but not too muscular that they don't look vulnerable and they also need to have sensual full lips, absolutely no wrinkles, perfectly manicured nails and long lustrous hair.
Thanks Kim Kardashian, you've made the world so much easier for women everywhere! Your so called 'thick girl empowerment' is complete and utter bullshit, and what you really need is a good hard slap! Truth is, the Kardashians and Minaj's of the world have really not helped women out at all when it comes to body shaming and physical empowerment. What they have done though is created a completely new, inaccessible and totally unrealistic model for men to ogle at and women to compare themselves to and aspire to become; and let's be honest, that is dreadfully sad! 
What we really need to see more of in the media are healthy, happy and awake women. Women that don't feel like they need to fit into a mold to be complete, women that don't prescribe to the pressures of unrealistic female 'ideal' standards and women that genuinely don't care about shallow things like weight, skin, hair, clothes and nails. Because all women, thick, thin and every other size and shape in between and outside of that, deserve to feel good about themselves. There isn't a woman on this planet that hasn't been told at one time or another that it's what's inside that counts, but there a billions of women in the world that have no idea how to practise that. Don't be one of those women; don't judge, don't shame and most importantly don't forget to celebrate that you are more than enough, that you are special and that you are most definitely perfect just the way you are. 

The winter holidays kicked off in style, as they always do at the commencement of the June/ July break because Zoe's birthday always occurs right at the beginning of this break every year. Today we celebrated her special day with a leisurely and much needed break together at Peppers Mineral Spa in Hepburn Springs. A full day of mineral spas, detoxing saunas,  a relaxation massage and a two course lunch injected just the right amount of respite and recuperation into all of weary and exhausted our lives, leaving us feeling fresh and pampered in every way. 
Seth spent a day at Ballarat's Winterfest as a volunteer for the Winteractive Arcade at The Mining Exchange where he worked the interactive tattoo booth and taught newbs how to use virtual reality, which he loved doing. So the winter break has really kicked off well for us, and the next few days will be for catching up on some rest, spending some time with my parents and getting together with a few friends. 
​As much I would love for this entire break to be all couch bashing and movie binging, unfortunately it just can't be because I really do need to get some jobs done around here, especially in the garden which is starting to look like the set of The Jungle Book. And this is the biggest dilemma that I face every holiday period, finding that perfect balance between self time, job time and time that I give to others.
In the past I would've had my entire two week hiatus booked out well in advance, but I try not to torture myself like that anymore. Then I went through a faze where I would just hide from everyone and not even return text messages so that I could slip unencumbered onto the couch everyday to binge watch entire seasons of TV, but I just ended up feeling like a big lazy lump at the end of the two weeks because I hadn't got anything important done.
These days I like to find a healthy and also not completely unproductive medium where I catch up with people that I  want to see (not people that I feel obligated to see), get a few things ticked off the household 'to do' list and also settle back onto the couch to binge watch TV and movies for a couple of uninterrupted hours a day. 
There is absolutely nothing selfish about making sure that you actually get some needed rest during your holidays, and sometimes that means that you have to politely say no to requests or put a 'to do' list job on the 'do later' list.
Besides I can admit that I practically limped over the finish line last week. I was exhausted, tired and still not 100% well after the dreaded lurgy smashed me apart two weeks ago. Choosing to take some time to completely repair seems like a necessity to me at this point and I really don't think that I have the energy to soldier on much more anyway if I am really being honest.  The time to go outlaw and reclaim some self time has truly arrived, and I am claiming my self time for myself...y'all hear me? I am claiming it! So step back and give me some room to reclaim my me time! Phewww... really got lost in the moment and went all Outlaw Josey Wales for a minute there didn't I? And that's how I know for sure that I need to claim back some me time and get some rest, I am literally going crazy! 

It is during times of struggle and difficulty that we absolutely must endeavour to tighten our commitment to ourselves and bring more attention to our need for self care. The urge to soldier on in the face of adversity or crisis is generally so strong that we will happily place our needs on the back burner and forge forward, often at the peril of our own wellness and sanity. It is a weakness that I too am guilty of, but when push comes to shove, we really aren't doing ourselves or anyone else any favours when we ignore the signals that our bodies are sending us for better self care by continually placing ourselves last. 
By learning about the different forms of self care, we can better arm ourselves with an ability to recognise when we are moving into personal crisis or neglect, and how to fill the voids in our self care routines when they do occur. 
A terrific article from tulipandsage.com categorizes self care into six main types: 
1. Physical Self Care
This is an awareness of your physical body and what it needs to thrive. Exercise, rest and clean food. It does not need to be vigorous or intense to be effective, aim for consistent and enjoyable long term activities, healthy diet choices and adequate sleep to improve your physical self care.
2. Emotional Self Care
Become mindful of your emotions, listen to your feelings and recognizing patterns, triggers or obstacles to your ability to remain calm, focused and happy. Writing in a journal, being artistic, dancing or being creative are just some ways that you can express and develop your emotional awareness and self care. 
3. Spiritual Self Care
This doesn't need to be religious or rigid to be meaningful. Anything that brings you closer to the essence of yourself is nourishing your spiritual self care. It could be doing charity work, being more mindful, taking up meditation, walking in nature; there are lots of ways to strive for more inner awareness. 
4. Intellectual Self Care
We all need new challenges to invigorate and nourish us mentally. Anything that will expand your knowledge and awareness falls into this category, from reading a book or watching a documentary to taking up a class or learning a new language, you'll be expanding yourself and meeting your intellectual needs. 
5. Social Self Care
Whether you're an introvert or an extrovert, people need people. You do need to spend time with other people and have meaningful connections with loved ones, so make plans to get together with people that you enjoy spending time with. Catching up, going out for dinner, meeting for coffee or going to the movies is not only an escape from the norm, it's social self care and it's important to your wellbeing. 
6. Sensory Self Care
Nourish your senses and send healing stimuli to your brain, sensory care is so deeply fulfilling. Through sight, smell, touch, sound and taste you can reinvigorate yourself. Listen to some soothing music, light a scented candle, eat a delicious meal, get a massage, go for a barefoot walk in the park and please don't forget to always stop and smell the roses!

All forms of self care are equally as important as each other and you should endeavour to not neglect your needs in any area. Listen to your body, listen to your soul, listen to your heart...it may sound corny but you are actually sending yourself small but not insignificant messages about your needs all of the time and you just need to be quiet enough to hear them. Self care matters because you matter, and it is neither selfish nor self indulgent to take care of yourself, so listen carefully to your self care needs and learn how to be kinder to yourself. 

You can take every precaution in the world, but no matter how well planned or prepared you may think you are, a head cold or some new strain of the flu will eventually track you down and smack you to the ground like a bad playground bully. Turns out that my health scare was just the flu, I say 'just the flu' very flippantly, but the alternative to that was far worse, so I am sticking to 'just the flu.' 
Of course, 'just the flu' has come with a plethora of discomfort and side effects that have today forced me to hide away from the world, not just for my benefit but also for everyone else's as well. Body aches, headaches, chest pains, severe joint pain, nausea, dizziness, a persistent dry hacking cough and the all so lovely night sweats have all made an appearance over the past five days and I have been left feeling drained, impatient, over-tired and frayed around the edges in ways that I have not felt for a very long time, and do not wish to feel again in a very long time. 
It is always the last couple of weeks of the Winter school term that really brings the 'shove over' for me every year. In fact, according to my journal entries, every year for the last 8 years in  a row I have had some kind of head cold or flu in the month of June. Thankfully, none of them have required anything more than a couple of days of rest, but still it would appear that 'tis the season for me to feel gross, wear out and generally feel like a slice of shit toast every year. 
In light of that, perhaps in the future June would be a fortuitous time for me to take a trip each year to Bahamas in order to escape the dark recesses of Winter and the dreaded lurgy that hunts me down and pounces on me at the same time every year. However, I doubt that my employer would share my enthusiasm for an annual winter retreat, so that idea will probably need to wait until I am retired. 
I swear that bears have the right idea when it comes to seasonal self adjustment though. Gorge yourself stupid on all of the deliciousness of an Autumnal harvest, find a comfy place to hide and sleep out the dead of Winter and then pop back into the world when the Spring blooms are just peaking their heads out of the soil. Sounds terrific to me!
I have always found the human need to maintain the status quo during the winter months both ridiculous and counter productive, because let's be honest we all need more rest in the winter time. It's darker, colder and completely uninviting outdoors most of the time. You just want to eat way too much comfort food for your trousers to manage! And getting out of bed in the mornings is often an impossible and monumentally unpleasant task. The writing is on the wall isn't it really? Let's make the months of June, July and August four day working weeks. Everyone gets an extra day off a week to be like a bear and roll about in bed, binge on Netflix and eat stoggy goodies! Hooray, Winter woes solved! Everyone gets more rest time, less cold exposure and a day to play every week. I think that I would actually look forward to Winter a lot more if that was going to happen every year.
And I honestly believe that my brilliant idea would mean that less people would get really sick as well. I mean you would have less exposure to other people and therefore less exposure to other people's germs, you would also be more rested and better fed therefore making you generally more resilient as well and you would be feeling a lot more job satisfaction because the work to life ratio would be more agreeable. We really do need to take a leaf out of the books of the hibernating and migrating creatures of the world because the animals clearly have their shit sorted out a lot better than we do. I'm pretty sure bears don't have to ring in sick or contend with hacking coughs all night during the winter do they? 

It always takes something serious to happen to your health to jump start you into action. Nothing like a surprise health scare to really force an unwelcome re-evaluation of your current physical status. Only days ago I was wandering about in blissful oblivion of my own physical shortcomings, and now I am suddenly reflecting with a terrifying and hyper critical eye about how I have really 'let myself go' and how I have probably rained all of this down on myself anyway.
I find that whenever something goes wrong with me physically I immediately thrust myself into this ridiculously harsh and deeply damning zone that forces me to take hard, cold stock of my physical make-up and my body flaws. It is not a friendly or self loving place to be, trust me, it's horrible.
Suddenly, I start to see every minor physical imperfection as a glaringly horrible obstacle that stands before my ability to thrive.  I begin to rapidly hate the failings of my body as I scrutinize every inch of my aging physique and every major health choice that I have made in the past, desperately searching for a logical reason for my body to fail me. I eat well, I take care of myself, I have a fulfilling lifestyle, I get adequate rest, I exercise...why is this happening to me? 
But the truth is, that sometimes bodies just fail. Even really healthy, sexy, slim and young ones fail, and it has nothing to do with years of abuse or sabotage, sometimes it is just the genetic hand that we are dealt that determines how things will play out and there is little or nothing that we can do about it. 
As you get older, you do start to notice that things on your body don't...how can I put this? Operate as well as they used to. Things start to head south rapidly and you find that you have new aches and pains that you never used to have. Weird ones, ones that just appear like unwanted hair in the wrong places or liver spots on the backs of your hands, but more annoying and sometimes more alarming than that. I personally find these annoying new arrivals extremely hard to analyse, because it is so damn difficult to decide if I should worry about them and consider any of them serious, or if I should just ignore them as normal signs of aging. No-one tells you, so you don't know for sure. And at my age, you still feel way too young to have any serious health complications so you generally dismiss all of the unwelcomed weird stuff as nothing, but this may not always be the wisest thing to do. 
Ignoring any health complications, no matter how small they may seem, is definitely not a smart thing to do. And having those honest and scrutinizing assessments with yourself, although uncomfortable, are also at times completely necessary. I wish that I was bulletproof, but I am not, I am human, which sometimes makes me fallible and fragile and susceptible to illness and disease. And as much as I really don't like going to see the GP, I think that a professionals opinion may be important for me right now.
There really is nothing like a health scare to boot your thinking back to those things that you hold in the highest esteem in your life, and how much you would hate to jeopardise your chances of making the most of your time. It is unfortunate that we as humans aren't made a little more resilient than we are, but perhaps it is our fragility that make us all the more precious and special, and also so utterly worth fighting to preserve.  

Spicywatch.com has just turned 5, hip hip hooray Spicywatch! Apart from my family and friends, I don't think that I have poured this much of my spare time and energy consistently into anything before, and for as long as I can remember, I don't feel like I have loved or enjoyed pouring my spare time into anything as much as I have loved sharing Spicywatch with all of you wonderful readers. 
Watching and reviewing movies is not just a hobby for me anymore, it is an important part of my life now. For five years I have shared my thoughts, my opinions and my passion for cinema with you all, and so far I have managed to review 790 movies that I honestly believe are worthy of your time and effort to view. I look forward to one day having 1,000 movies on my Spicywatch genre lists that are worthy of your time, but it will take me quite a few more years to get that far. 
Last nights celebrations were focused on the Best Music Moments in Cinema, which is a broad topic, but extremely fun one to investigate. Musicals were most welcome, but not mandatory, and as it turned out, there are actually a huge number of movies that have very significant and memorable music scenes in them that are actually completely non-musical movies. 
My wonderful and supportive friends and family gathered in Enfield to share a drink and their cinematic loves with me; and we laughed, sang and got our groove on to some of the most unexpected (but mostly excellent) musical moments that we could find.
And here is the extensive list of best music moments in cinema (from every genre) as chosen by my nearest and dearest, that made it to the Spicywatch 5th Birthday celebration screening in my living room last night:
Baby Driver (Bellbottoms) 
Pulp Fiction (You Never Can Tell) 
Beetlejuice (Banana Boat Song) 
The Skeleton Twins (Nothings Gonna Stop Us Now) 
Ferris Bueller's Day Off (Twist and Shout) 
Coraline (Garden Scene composed by Peter Corrigan) 
Pretty in Pink (If You Leave) 
The Perks of Being  a Wallflower (Heroes) 
Napoleon Dynamite (Canned Heat) 
Little Miss Sunshine (Super Freak)
Straight Outta Compton (Boyz N Da Hood) 
The Blues Brothers (Shake Your Tail Feather) 
Two Hands (These Days) 
American Psycho (Hip to be Square) 
The Lion King (Circle of Life) 
The Secret Life of Walter Mitty (Space Oddity) 
The Hunt for the Wilderpeople (Ricky's Birthday Song) 
Guardians of the Galaxy (Mr Blue Sky) 
Moulin Rouge (Come What May) 
Mean Girls (Jingle Bell Rock) 
Trainspotting (Lust for Life) 
Sound of Music (Edelweiss) 
Reservoir Dogs (Stuck in the Middle) 
O Brother Where Art Thou? (I Am a Man of Constant Sorrow)
Risky Business (Old Time Rock and Roll) 
Easy A (A Pocketful of Sunshine) 
The Mask (Cuban Pete)
Nacho Libre (Encarnacion) 
Hedwig and the Angry Inch (Origins of Love) 
The Big Lebowski (Just Dropped In) 
Pitch Perfect (Riff off) 
Purple Rain (Title Track) 
Love Actually (Jump) 
Bridesmaids (Hold on) 
Little Fish (Flame Trees) 
Slumdog Millionaire (Jai Ho)
Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (Anything Goes) 
Singing in the Rain (Title track)
And one of my all time favourites: Mulholland Drive (Llorando/ Crying) 

Every year I change my personal boundaries. That probably sounds super sloppy, but it really isn't, it is the exact opposite of sloppy if the truth be told. My boundaries alter because I take the time to assess where I have placed them in the past and why I even placed them to begin with. And I do this regularly.
As I get older, the line between what I will and what I will not tolerate or lose sleep over has altered quite substantially, so it's always wise to have a revisit and reassess to make sure that I am being true to myself, my life goals and my enjoyment levels. 
Most of the boundaries that I have created for myself over the last few years look nothing like the ones that I had for myself in my twenties and thirties. I used to set a lot of boundaries around what I would allow myself to do or what I expected of others, but now I set my boundaries purely around my tolerance, my ability to self love and my general peace of mind.
What does that mean exactly? Well, here is a list of what I think good boundaries look like. Adopting these kinds of personal boundaries is a really liberating thing to do for yourself, and I have found that I have become a lot more peaceful and accepting as I have learnt to incorporate them into my daily life. 

1. It's not my job to fix others.
Let other people do them, and you just do you. 
2. It's okay for other people to get angry with me. 
Anger is fine and normal and also fleeting, there is no need to get hung up on it. 
3. Sometimes no is the best answer. 
Odds are people won't want to hear it, but that doesn't make it wrong. Setting limits for yourself is wise. 
4. It's not my job to be responsible for others.
Let people own their own shit, you have no power to control others so don't bother. 
5. I am responsible for my own happiness.
My happiness is my job, not anyone else's. To make it anyone else's is selfish and stupid. 
6. It's okay if we don't agree.
Agree to disagree. Fighting over anything gets no-one anywhere. 
7. I have the right to my feelings.
Everyone has the right to get angry, upset and annoyed, and that's okay. 
8. I can put me first.
It is not selfish or mean to put yourself first sometimes.
9. I can let go.
Don't dwell on bad things or hold resentments because it feels like shit. 
10. I am enough.
You don't need to change who you are to please others. You're all good! 

So, there they are, a healthy 10 commandments of boundaries to set your dial to. I guarantee that if you set yourself better personal boundaries based on your genuine emotional needs then you will definitely worry  a lot less and enjoy your life a lot more, and that's gotta be better for your stress levels in the long run!

Every woman knows that when you become a mother you have to relinquish some of your...how can I put this....firmness? I know that with each child that I had things on my body got more saggy, a lot more stripy (stretch marks - the untold horror of pregnancy) and generally a lot softer and plumper. I put on around 5 kilos with each of my children that I have never been able to lose and I have a caesarean scar from my second pregnancy that an Ob Gyn once called 'distressingly large' and even encouraged me to sue for malpractice over, so yeah I have sacrificed some of my youthful suppleness and beauty for my children. And I suppose that I always knew that there would be physical sacrifices that came with being pregnant, that much I was ready for. 
What I wasn't as prepared for was something that seems to happen to women around 45 years of age when they just suddenly become completely invisible to everyone. I am not even kidding, this shit really does happen and unless you look like Michelle Pfeiffer or some other waif like middle aged hottness, then odds are that it will happen to you too. You literally become unseen by everyone, not just men, everyone. Women, children and men will no longer see you unless you instigate the exchange and even then their interest will wane much faster than it did when you were young. 
Thankfully, this is not just a phenomenon that I alone have experienced but in recent polls 43% of women around 45 years of age claim to experience the same effect, a feeling of being invisible. So even though women are generally looking fitter and more youthful in their 40's and 50's than they ever have before in history, they are still falling victim to the dreaded 'ghost' effect that occurs around 45.
Well, it turns out that there is some research being done around this very topic, and there does appear to be contributing factors to these feelings of invisibility that women seem to experience. An analysis was completed that looked at 414 popular scripted movies and TV shows that aired during one year (from September 2014 to August 2015). From that data it was found that men made up 80% of the characters over 40, leaving only 20% to females, and many of those women were significantly older than 40. It was also noted that nearly all of the love interest female parts were filled by women in their 20's (often partnered up with men in their 40's) and that the women over 40 that were cast usually got roles as hags, shrews, witches, nags, struggling mothers or grandmothers.
This form of media profiling certainly appears to be part of the problem and not part of a solution, and by only casting twenty somethings or insanely hot thirty somethings in romantic roles, the media is stereotyping what it means to be sexy or physically viable, but it even goes much further than that. When women were asked about attractiveness, over 80% of them said that youth was akin to attractiveness and that they knew that once they were over 40 years old that men would not find them as interesting! How grim is that?  And even worse are the findings that women also admitted that they do not pay as much attention to or go out of their way for women over 40 unless they are seeking advise or selling them a product, which basically means that young women see me as either a counselor or a big misshapen money sack, any bloody wonders I feel like I am invisible! 
This dreadful feeling of invisibility is also why millions of women are now turning to surgery in an attempt to turn back the clocks and be seen again, which is just so sad when you really think about it.  In fact, now that I really think about it, I actually think that it just depends on who you are spending your time with when it comes to being seen. Women around my own age never make we feel invisible and men that are 10-15 years older than me seem pretty damn keen for a chat, so I suppose that it just depends where you are looking for that attention.
​A 40 something women is never going to stand out in a nightclub full of skimpy-dressed hotties and that kind of invisible is fine with me anyway. Who knows? Perhaps being invisible to young people and middle aged men is a really a super-power and something to be enjoyed, maybe being unseen to leary eyes or unwanted attentions is a blessing. I mean I am not looking for wolf whistles or uninspired conversations with twenty somethings anyway, so I probably shouldn't be complaining. Being unseen and generally unthreatening can certainly be used to one's advantage. Everyone knows that you can get away with almost anything if no-one is ever actually looking at you, and maybe that is not such a bad thing at all!