Men's health is an extremely neglected issue, especially in countries like Australia where the term 'Man Up' or 'Don't be a Pussy' are the staple when it comes to male wellbeing. However, the truth is that the stoic, strong and silent male stereotype that Aussie males have happily hung their hats upon for decades has actually been incredibly damning for men.
Australia now has an alarmingly high suicide rate, and 75% of those suicides are men between the ages 15-44, which means that more men die of suicide every year than from road accidents. Suicide has now become the 10th highest cause of death among men, which means that it is an issue that we can no longer afford to ignore. Just today, 6 Australia men will take their own lives, and we desperately need to get to the bottom of what is going on and why this is happening. 
The men that are taking their own lives come from all walks of life, they live in rural areas and cities, they are young and old and they have diverse employment, socio-economic statuses and cultural backgrounds, but they do have one thing in common, and that is the inability to reach out and share their troubles with others. Turns out that the strong male stereotype is so well ingrained that most men say that they are concerned or even afraid to show their true feelings, their worries, their anxieties and their burdens with others, even their closest family members and friends. This inability to share tends to push vulnerable men into drug and alcohol abuse, gambling addictions or other unhealthy outlets to try and cope with their emotions. 
Essentially we have as a culture, disempowered our men to talk about themselves and their problems. Men are struggling to allow themselves to be vulnerable for fear of being singled out as weak; the pull to be an 'Aussie bloke' who can shoulder any responsibility has overridden men's ability to adopt introspection and let their guard down, and the results of this are just catastrophic.
So what can we do about it? First and foremostly, we have to acknowledge that what we are doing isn't working and that we need to make some serious changes to the way that we deal with men and their health and wellbeing issues. Organisation like Gotcha4Life and Movember are supporting programs directed specifically at men and agree that the approach needs to be different. Empowering and encouraging men to have deeper conversations about what is going on with them when they experience a crisis in their lives is the best place to start. We must make room for men to be in touch with the human parts of themselves, which means that they need the space to share, cry, mourn and feel weak from time to time without the fear of negative judgement.
We need to stop telling blokes to harden up or man up and we need to be better listeners and show support and understanding. We need to educate ourselves about men and their unique set of challenges and the heavy unspoken expectations that are placed upon them from an early age. These traditions of expectation have become so ingrained in Australian culture that it is going to take time to loosen the shackles of those constraints for men, but we have to start somewhere because male suicide is on the rise not the decline in Australia. 
So start right away, tell the men in your life how much they mean to you and take more time to just sit and talk with them when you can. Allow time for them to bond with other men recreationally, and encourage them to spend time alone with other men so that they can learn to open up and share their thoughts and feelings in 'safe mate' circle of friends. Support and normalise emotional releases and remember that it is all of our responsibilities to make men feel valued, heard and supported so that they can face the challenges of their lives with dignity. Help men to understand that it is not only okay to feel weak, it is absolutely necessary sometimes, and that being an emotionless robot isn't of service to anyone.
It is time for us all to wave goodbye to the stoic Aussie male stereotype that we have all been conditioned to accept and expect for generations, because we know that we can all do a shitload better than that for our men. And I implore all men to reach out and share, because we are all here and ready to hear you and support you, and never forget that it's all gonna be okay, help is never too far away and it's totally okay to seek it out if you should need it. 

I believe that the death penalty is an archaic and barbaric form of justice, in fact I do not believe that it is really a form of justice at all, it is a reaction to an act of violence with violence, and I think that it should be abolished worldwide. I ask you, how on earth can we ever achieve justice through more acts of injustice? 
I cannot understand it and I will never support it, for me the taking of any life, no matter how wretched that soul may be, goes against every fibre of my being and everything that I believe in. In a day and age where there are options for proper care and rehabilitation through correct practice and procedure, I think that we are far better equipped to deal with the ugliness of social misconduct than we have ever been before. Surely we can boast that we have evolved into a more civilised and humane culture that can bolster better consequences for the mentally unwell than just executing them?
In a recent episode of the television program Kidding, the main character meets the son of his penpal who just happens to be an inmate on death row. Through contact with this penpal we learn the truth about the lethal injection that is given to death row prisoners to euthanize them, and it really got me thinking about how deeply barbaric and horrific it would be to die in that way.
The so called 'painless' execution method is actually very far from painless and consists of a series of three lethal injections. The first of the three injections is an anesthetic called sodium thiopental, which is a fast acting barbiturate that depresses the activity of the central nervous system. This initial shot doesn't serve as a painkiller that numbs pain nerves, but instead it rapidly puts a person into a state of unconsciousness that's theoretically deep enough to make pain undetectable (note the word theoretically there). The assumption is that the drug will last long enough for the other two injections to be administered, but no-one alive has been able to substantiate that theory, so it's a grey area for sure. 
The second injection is pancuronium bromide which causes complete muscle paralysis, so even if the person being executed was in pain, they wouldn't be able to cry out or let anyone know that they were; and the injection also causes the respiratory system to go into arrest because the muscle of the diaphragm (the muscle that pulls air into the lungs) stops working, so odds are it hurts like a bitch. 
The last dosage to be administered is potassium chloride, which floods the heart with charged particles that interrupt its electrical signaling and stop it from beating. According to a study in the Journal of Forensic Science, the average length of time from the first injection to death is 8.4 minutes. Try and get your head around that, 8.4 minutes of possible pain and discomfort, maybe a lot longer, before you eventually die. It's a chilling thought, and not something that invokes a painless drifting off, as one may have imagined about lethal injection previously. It may be more humane than electrocution or a cyanide gas chamber, but let's not kid ourselves here, this is still a completely barbaric practice that needs to be abolished. 
And to top it all off, there are no real health professionals present when lethal injection procedures are administered because doctors and nurses are banned by their professional organisations from participating in executions since it goes against the moral code of health care professionals to be involved in such procedures. Surely that made you raise an eyebrow? 
And even though many countries have abolished the use of the death penalty, there are still 54 countries around the world that still have laws that sanction the use of capital punishment, and in some of those countries, the lethal injection would actually look like a good option considering the fact that they still use hanging, shooting, torture, flogging, firing squads and even stoning as a means of execution which is sometimes conducted publicly. I seriously shudder at the thought. 
An eye for an eye and the world goes blind, and I firmly believe that that is true. We cannot fight fire with fire and expect to survive the inferno ourselves, a life is a life and when others make poor choices we cannot simply put out their light, it is wrong and it is immoral. Anyone that supports the taking of a life for a life really needs to take a good hard look at what is motivating all of that hate in the first place, because in my opinion, it isn't natural to want to destroy your own kind. 

I absolutely love podcasts. I have a number of shows in my podcast library on my phone that I regularly listen to. Just like the recent rise in accessible quality television, podcasts are fast following suit with a wider variety of entertaining shows becoming available daily and I have become pretty hooked on a number of them.
Cooking, cleaning, gardening or even exercising, I find that even the most menial  and mundane of tasks can be elevated to enjoyable if you have a good podcast to tune into whilst you are doing it, and I wanted to share some of my very favourite finds with you all. 
First and foremost I think that I need to list my fave movie/TV podcasts, because I do like to stay ahead of what is being released and what looks worthy of a trip to the cinema to see, and these podcasts are my go-to's on the subject of quality viewing:

• The EMPIRE Film Podcast
• WHO Magazine's TV Binge List 
• Man vs Movies
• Mad About Movies

Next are my 'Feel Good' podcast faves, which offer me motivation, inspiration and stimulation when I am feeling like I need a lift:

• Dear Sugars
• That's So Retrograde
• The Lively Show
• LET IT OUT
• Happier with Gretchen Rubin
• Mindfully
• The Chalene Show
• The Good People Effect

Here are my favourite 'Freak Me Out' podcasts, which can be supernatural, crime or just plain weird, but I do like a good freaky tale from time to time:

• Lore
• The Other Stories
• The Something Scary Podcast
• Unravel True Crime

And lastly, but certainly not least are my fave comedy podcasts because we all need a good laugh from time to time:

• My Dad Wrote a Porno
• Comedy of the Week - BBC Radio 4
• About Last Night

So there you have it, my favourite regular podcasts, I hope that you can find something inspiring to listen to yourself, and if you have any amazing recommendations please let me know.
Honestly, with you would think that I wouldn't have time to squeeze in any movies with all of the podcast listening that I do, but trust me, I still do!

Trick 'r Treating on October 31st in Australia sure is a hotly contested topic. I heard some ladies at the hairdressers tonight going right off about it, they were saying that it is stupid and American and unseasonal and that if any kids knock on their doors looking for candy they will tell them to piss off! Woah, a bit harsh I thought. Sure, it isn't Autumn here when Halloween occurs which does make it a little un-pumpkin, chestnut and acorn friendly, but aside of that, it isn't actually American at all, it's Pagan and the bottom line is that it's fun! 
Kids love Halloween, they love dressing up and playing spooks and who wouldn't want to knock on peoples doors and get free lollies? Uh, it's frickin amazing and just because we never got to do it when we were kids doesn't mean that we shouldn't let them do it now. If you're going to use un-seasonal as your excuse for hating Trick 'r Treaters then boo to you, you're lame! I bet you still eat roasts at Christmas time even when it's hot and do all of the other Pagan based stuff the happens at Yuletide like  bringing an evergreen into your home and decorating it to welcome the coming spring....aka your Christmas Tree! That is not very seasonally appropriate is it? But it is fun, so we do it and Halloween shouldn't be any different. 
The ladies that were paying out Halloween tonight were also saying how sick it was to send your kids out for candy to strangers houses. Yes, sending your kids out to strangers houses for candy is sick, which is why 99% of the kids participating have an adult with them when they Trick 'r Treat. Safe and wholesome Halloween Trick 'r Treating can be orchestrated and seriously, if you were some Sweeney Todd type trying to lure kids into your home with candy to turn them into pies, you would hardly chose to do that on Halloween when there would be possible witnesses and the most easily traceable crime trail in all history would you? I bet that half of the people that say things like that wouldn't think twice about plopping their poor kids onto some unknown santa's lap at the mall for a happy snap would they? Are those kinds of strangers in red suits that hug unknown children at the mall better than the strangers that give out candy on Halloween? Doubtful, very bloody doubtful, but people only see what they want to see. 
We actually have a lot of little Trick 'r Treaters out here in Enfield ever year and it doesn't offend me in the least. They are often quite small and very enthusiastic and the vast majority of them are done and dusted by 7.30pm. They dress up like their lives depend on it, their faces painted and little plastic pumpkin bags in their hands, and they are always super grateful for the lollies that they receive. Some good samaritan mails everyone in our area an orange balloon to hang on their letterbox on the evening of Halloween and if you don't want to participate you just don't hang your balloon and if you run out of candy you just take your balloon down, pretty simple really. It's organised, it's optional and it's safe because all of the children are accompanied by an adult. Where is the harm in that? 
Sometimes I think that people just decide that they don't like Halloween because they can't be bothered, which essentially is fine, no-one says that you have to be bothered; but please stop making it out to be such a big horrible ordeal when it really isn't. Halloween to kids means fun, and well, even to some adults too if I'm being really honest about it, so stop being such bloody grumpy goblins, buy a few lollies and join in the fun as well, it's only one night of the year for goodness sake! 

Celebrated Halloween a little early this year, perhaps it was the full moon or maybe it was just because the 27th was the closest date that we could all manage to gather together, but whatever the reason, the Samhain vibes were flowing on Saturday. 
Whenever people get together at my place, there is always food involved. Not only do I love to eat, I also really love to cook as well, so any celebration is a good occasion for a big cook up around the bench in Enfield. Which is exactly what Zoe, Seth, Helen, Craig and I did this year, we made a delicious feast from scratch to share together.
​Our meal consisted of two different types of ravioli (pumpkin/feta and beef/mushroom) and a delicious tomato based sauce to accompany them. We also made vanilla poached pears in a salted caramel sauce with vanilla ice-cream for dessert, which was an amazing and decadent finish to our evening's festivities. Whilst we cooked, we listened to some tunes and shared some Halloween-ish cocktails and then spent the dark hours indulging in one of my favourite things in the world, B-grade horror. 
I absolutely love B-grade horror, especially B-grade horror from the 80's and 90's because those two decades were rife with poor writing, dreadfully acting, mediocre effects and cliche horror tropes that make them so damn awful that they are absolutely hilarious. I usually call them D-grade because they are so genuinely bad, which should give you some idea of the quality that I am talking about, D-grade means 'woah-fully good' material to me.
On the agenda for B-Grade gold this year? Tales from the Crypt: Bordello of Blood, the name really says it all doesn't it? It is truly classy viewing, I can assure you. Made in 1996, this 87 minute fantasy/horror got a whopping 12% on Rotten Tomatoes, and stars Angie Everhart and Corey Feldman in two of the lead roles; need I say more? In a word it is dreadful; rife with grotuetous titty shots, full of cheesy one liners, the soundtrack seems like it was recorded by someone that cannot sing in their living room with a boombox and the characters are dressed primarily in cheap silks, denim jackets and tennis shorts. It is just so bad that it defies explanation really, it's the ultimate B-grade horror find, and after a few nice strong cocktails, it is the funniest movie that you could ever see. We were literally crying with laughter at some points during the movie. 
And that is how all B-grade horror/ fantasy and sci-fi movies need to be viewed, half pissed and with really good company. Over the years we have watched some absolutely pearlers out here together that just shouldn't be missed; they are so bad, they are actually good! 
Some of my personal favourites and highly recommended B-Grade offerings are:

• Big Trouble in Little China (1986)
• Killer Klowns from Outer Space (1988)
• Vampires: Los Muertos (2002) - just outside of the 90's era but you'd never know!
• They Live (1988)
• Evil Dead 3: The Army of Darkness (1992)
• Tremors (1990)
• Highlander (1986)
• Tales from the Crypt: Demon Knight (1995)
• Day of the Dead (1985)
• Critters (1986) 
• The Thing (1982) 
• Warlock (1989)
• Elvira: Mistress of the Dark (1988)
• Manos: The Hands of Fate (1966)  -a bit older, and quite possibly the worst horror movie ever made, it is unbelievably bad and hilarious. 

With Halloween just around the corner, you don't have to opt for a serious horror movie scare; a cheesy B-Grade retro horrorfest is just as enjoyable, and maybe even a lot more fun! 

What the heck is going on? The last two movies that I went to the cinema to see were romance movies. Trust me when I say that I hardly ever go to see romance movies at the cinema and it is the genre list that I had the least amount of movies on for ages, but given the recent spat of not just decent but actually enjoyable romance films, I have found myself going to the movies to watch people fall madly in love with each other and kiss each other all over the face! Seriously what the hell is happening to me? Am I getting soft and doughy eyed? Thank God Halloween is just around the corner, I really need to get back on track with my horror viewing. 
To be fair, I am not completely adverse to romance, I do quite like a bit of the luvy-duvy stuff from time to time, but there is just a heck of lot of really shithouse romance to wade through to get to the good stuff. Any film that plays on matters of the heart is at great risk of getting super cheesy and erring on the side of ridiculous; and sometimes the onscreen chemistry is about as exciting as a helium balloon three days after a party. 
There are actually quite a few elements that romance movies do really poorly and I am getting pretty tired of it. The first and most common mistake, is making the main love interest an alpha male or a 'spirited' female that abuses men all the time. In fact they often put the two of them together in movies as the two lead roles. Come up with something better than that for fuck sake, a jock body and a loud mouth chick are never going to live happily ever after now are they? They may wring a decent screw out of it but that's about the extent of that relationship, so stop implying that is a match made in heaven, it's utter crap!
Don't even get me started on the love at first sight stuff, you should know by now how much I don't want to see that old trope rolled out, and can we stop making villains turn good for the sake of love? Again, that 'gone good' shit won't last, so don't paint happily ever after on that crap sandwich and call it a delicious burger because I ain't eating it! And please romance movie makers, could we stop having people need to change to get the person of their dreams? Ever since Sandy Dee went all hot pants, cigarette puffing bad girl to get rough-house Danny Zuko in Grease to notice her, movie makers have been capitalising on the 'change to find true love' trope which not only annoys the piss out of me, but bothers me even more when idiots try to replicate it in real life as well. If you have to change yourself to get someone to love you, then they aren't the right one for you, and romance movies should never have people losing their identities or morals to find love, it's crass and it's sad. 
The best romances have two people in them that know who they are and just want to share who they are with someone else. Sure a little My Fair Lady action is all good and well from time to time, but we also know that it's old fashioned, archaic and is certainly no reflection of a good 'modern romance' tale. Just like all movie genres, you need to be discerning when it comes to the types of romance that you watch as well because Hollywood is exceptionally good at disguising really tasteless romance and selling it off as funny and plausible; but thankfully, that is happening less and less these days. 

Every now and then someone will call me out on a review that I have done on a movie or a blog post that I have made; and if you are going to put your opinions on the internet, then you have expect that people are going to give their opinions back to you as well.  Total strangers, friends and even family members will point out how they didn't like what I wrote on my blog or point out how wrong I was about a certain movie that was at least one Chilli Pepper hotter or 3 Chilli Peppers colder than I had implied that it was, and I think that a lot them really enjoy sharing their own verdict or opinion on a topic that I have raised or a review that I have posted.
I am not sure whether people are hoping that I will kick off in response to their adverse reactions to my writings, but I can say with complete honesty that I don't mind at all if you disagree with my opinions. You do not have to agree with me, it would be completely weird if you did. I do not claim to be 'the God of all movie knowledge', I am not even close to being an expert in cinema, I am just a movie enthusiast that likes to write, and that is where my expertise ends. Sure I have seen a lot of movies, but there are still millions of movies that I haven't seen, and as for my opinions, well they're just that, opinions not facts or truths to be adopted and set into action, they are merely my opinions, nothing more and nothing less than that. 
Is it actually really great to hear that people don't agree with me. I love to hear about other people's experiences of the movies that they have seen, and that is one of the things that is so damn terrific about cinema, it is completely subjective. Like any expression of art, one person's trash is another person's treasure, and cinema is no different from that in any way. We may agree sometimes, never, seldom or often, it matters not to me one way or another. Make your own mind up about the movies that I review, see them for yourself, be discerning and be disagreeable, I welcome all opinions and you never have to agree with me. 
Cinematic experiences are unique and completely individual to everyone. They can be affected by your mood, your interest level in the subject, your wellbeing, your personal experiences, your tolerance levels and even your level of alertness when you enter a cinema. There are millions of factors at play when a person decides to squat for a couple of hours to watch a film, and I wouldn't dare to assume that my experiences would be in sync with anyone elses for even half of that time. 
Nope, I don't mind if you don't agree with me. In fact, I am ecstatic to hear the opinions of other cinephiles, it is a comfort to know that other people feel as passionately about their movie experiences as I do. I would never stifle  your disagreement of my comments, I welcome them and appreciate every one of my loyal readers opinions, even when they are completely opposed to mine. Please do keep up all of the comments and the conversations about movies with me, I am always happy to receive feedback and those of you that know me well, know that I will never get enough cinema related chatter in my life, so please do share your thoughts with me. 

THE SKIN I LIVE IN
Release Date: 2011
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 120 mins 
A Spanish psychological thriller, written and directed by Pedro Almodóvar.  Almodóvar has described the film as "a horror story without screams or frights" which is an accurate description. Although The Skin I Live In can't really be regarded as horror, there are certainly plenty of horrific goings on that will seriously mess with your head. 
A regarded plastic surgeon that is plagued by misfortune, creates a wonderful new type of skin that is impervious to damage. His human guinea pig and private obsession is a woman named Vera, a mysterious beauty that resides as a prisoner in his house. 
Antonio Banderas does a brilliant job of portraying the Dr. Frankenstein like surgeon Ledgard, and Elena Anaya is painfully beautiful as his subject, Vera. This movie has all of the elements of a great psychological thriller; devious plot twists, intensely interesting and esoteric characters and plenty of back story. However, because it crosses so many lines it also induces disgust and revulsion, albeit in the most stylish fashion, and for that reason it will not be to everyone's liking. If you can handle the kink levels turned up to high pitch, then you should enjoy the ride. 
FINAL SAY: I breathe. I breathe. I breathe. 
3 Chilli Peppers ​

Most of the time I not only feel extremely lucky to have the kind of lifestyle that I have, but I also feel exceptionally guilty when I think about all of the people around the globe that do not have nearly enough of anything in their lives, let alone an abundance of anything. Being born in a first world country does tend to make us all a bit jaded about just how fortunate we truly are and how much abundance we get to experience on a daily basis that we don't really take into consideration. 
When was the last time you stopped to think about the people who don't have access to clean water when you turn on a tap in your house? Do you ever think about how lucky you are to have a flushing toilet or water connected to your home or food on the table every night of the week? Most of us don't think about that stuff very much of the time at all, but we do spend a lot of time complaining about the internet dropping out, or the traffic being too heavy or the line at the check out being too long. Many of us go about with surly and inconvenienced attitudes and angry unwelcoming faces, and totally forget to remember just how lucky we are most of the time. 
I think that many people in developed countries actually have a dreadful case of 'glass half empty' when in fact around 85% of the time the glass is actually overflowing and we are just too spoilt to realise it. When was the last time you had to worry about whether you would be able to eat because of a lack of food?  When have you stayed awake worrying about whether your children could access an education or appropriate medical care and vaccinations? When was the last time you yourself got dreadfully ill and could not see a doctor because there wasn't one to see? And when was the last time that you had to walk for two hours to the nearest well to get some water to drink, or even worse wait in the sun all day for a water truck to come by and provide you with a small amount? I would imagine that you answered never to all of those questions, absolutely never. 
And that makes you lucky; very, very lucky. Luckier than most of the people that are sharing this planet with you. And I think that that is something to keep at the back of your thoughts next time you feel like having a whine about something insubstantial or irrelevant, that your blessings in life far outweigh your misfortunes a lot of the time. Singer songwriter Willie Nelson once said - When I started to count my blessing my whole life turned around, and I do believe that there is a lot of power in thinking abundantly and being grateful everyday.
Try it for yourself, adopt an 'attitude of gratitude' and see how you feel about your station in life after a few weeks. Once you begin to focus on how tremendously full your glass is, I guarantee that you'll be delighted with how rich and lucky you are. And feeling abundant has a wonderful flow-on effect, because you will also start to share that abundance more freely with others, filling their glasses in the process, and guess what? It doesn't cost a thing. It's totally free to change your mindset and focus on how lucky you are, and the benefits are huge!
However, that being said, if you are in fact 'crazy rich' (and 'crazy rich' people know exactly who they are) and reading this, then you definitely have more than you are ever gonna need and you should really pass some of that wealth along to those who do need it the most. Impoverished countries are always begging for substantial donations, and helping others feels so damn good. You could change your mindset and someone else's world as well, and that's definitely something to raise a very full and overflowing glass for! 

In our household, no topic is off the table when it comes to family discussions around the dinner table. This open dialogue between myself, my husband and our children has led to many interesting, sometimes awkward and often lengthy and involved banters over the years, and even though many people have raised an eyebrow in regards to how open we are about all topics in our home, I have been vigilant about instilling the values of open conversation and honesty when it comes to family exchanges. 
Because of this open dialogue around the dinner table, we have had what many people would call 'difficult' conversations with our children as they have discovered the truths and at times the ugly realities about the world, but we pride ourselves for never lying to them or hiding an unpleasant truth from them, and they have both turned out to be pretty well rounded and open minded individuals as a result of this.
​Both of my children knew the truth about their body parts, how lives are created and that some people are 'not quite right in the head' well before they even arrived at primary school. And before they left primary school they also knew about war, religion, genocide, enlightenment, rape, cults, incest, racism, paedophilia, discrimination, poverty, mental illness, hate crimes and all forms of artistic, spiritual and sexual expression. Neither of them have become unbalanced by any of this information, and neither of them now struggle to understand the complexities of the world. The truth about the world did not fuck them up or steal their innocence and they both had really normal happy childhoods. In fact, growing up they didn't have nearly as many troubles as their peers when it came to managing social situations or complicated issues and have always had a strong sense of social justice and ethical behaviour as a result of their developed global understanding. 
I worked hard to cultivate a mindset in my children 'that nothing is too big to tell, or too awkward to ask about.' And yes, it has lead to some 'hot' discussion and even some disagreements over the years (because with an open forum people will tend to debate and defend their formed opinions) but it has also meant that my children are always willing to talk to me, really talk to me. If something is going on they will always tell us about it and if something is happened that they don't understand or need clarification about, they will ask. And the conversation is still very lively around our dinner table and although we sometimes hit the hard topics, generally we share many relaxed and casual meals where the order of the day is much laughter and silliness. 
I am in no way saying that open-conversation is going to fly smoothly at everyone's dinner table, but having room for opinion and the comfort to ask questions is certainly not a bad thing to generate in any family. Being able to talk about anything, even the really tough stuff has certainly brought us closer together as a family and my kids have always been grateful for the honesty that they have received from us whilst they were in their formative years.
​I have never been able to think of a good reason to hide things from my children or to lie to them and I have never wanted to cultivate a relationship with my children that was steeped in deception or mistrust. I often wonder when I hear adults say that their children aren't ready to hear the truths about the world if it is just because they as adults aren't ready to deal with all of the ugliness themselves. All that I know for sure from my own experiences, is that nurturing a home where secrets are supported and lies necessitated will only lead to bitter resentments, disappointments and painful truths later on in life, and we all want a lot less of that for our children in the long run. 

No matter how much a well meaning parent or caring mentor may try to arm you with the goods to make the best out of the life that you have been given, there are some things that you just have to learn and find out for yourself. No amount of good advise or pep talking can ever provide you with the smarts that you will get from actually finding something out for yourself through sheer effort, life experience, perseverance and/ or a good splash of stupidity. 
​I have never met anyone that has been able to give me the ability to be strong or to be happy. I have met people that have inspired me to be stronger and happier, but the real work on those fronts comes from within. Strength can only be gained by facing life's adversities and overcoming fears. The strongest people that I know are the ones who have fallen the most in their lifetimes, and that strength is learned and cultivated over time. Everyone's strength and what they derive it from is unique, it is not a torch that can passed along to another. Strength cannot be taught, only demonstrated, and the same goes for happiness.
Everyone must learn to be happy, it isn't something that you can buy or earn, its far more esoteric than that. It is something that you either have or you don't have, it is a state of mind and therefore being truly happy is something that you must learn to do on your own. It is something that you have to choose, even in the face of great adversity, and no one else can give you the minerals to do that. Being truly happy, in spite of life's adversities or suffering is a real skill, and it's one that you have to master yourself. 
However, strength and happiness are not the only things that you must learn to master alone, let's not forget two of the toughest things that you will have to learn in this life, how to forgive and how to love. The saying 'the heart wants what the heart wants' certainly has some truth to it. You cannot make your heart feel what it doesn't want to feel, and learning to love others and yourself unconditionally is an exceptionally difficult challenge and something that people spend many lifetimes trying to learn to do well. Learning to love and willingly give over of yourself without restriction is not easy, and again like all things that you cannot learn from someone else, from a book or just purchase online; it is unique, emotional and challenging to master. 
I think that the art of forgiveness may well be the most difficult of all things that you will have to learn on your own. Being hurt is part of life and it is natural to have your feelings crushed or your hopes dashed by difficult people or even worse, the people that you care about or love the most. But learning that forgiveness can set you free and release you from potential hard-heartedness is something that you simply have to learn to do on your own. No-one can make you forgive another, or tell you to forgive another, you must do it yourself, when you are ready, and where and when that forgiveness happens is yours alone to determine. 
There is no manual for the toughest lessons, and there is no way to give a person true strength or happiness, or the ability to love and forgive. The best that anyone can ever do to instill these qualities in another is to work hard to master them themselves, so that they can at least be a good role model. However in saying that, I do believe that these skills are lifelong endeavours and certainly not something that you can master easily or quickly, and to imply that they are easily managed would be both flippant and ridiculous.
Everyone knows that all of the best fruit on the 'tree of life' is hanging out on the furthest limbs, it is tricky to reach and even harder to pluck, but it is there to be seen nonetheless. There is nothing wrong with forging forward, staying the course and continuing to learn with an open mind and a willingness to go the hard yards alone; and even if you don't ever fully learn to master the hardest lessons that you are expected to manage on your own, you won't ever regret trying. 

And just like that, two weeks of holiday bliss has passed me by again. This time I got to do all of the things that I had set out to do at the beginning of the break. I read a novel, binge watched entire an TV series and saw some terrific movies, painted at the easel, went for a walk everyday, slept in, caught up with a some friends, chilled out with my kids, did yoga and meditation everyday, drank some good whiskey, replanted by garden beds and vegetable patch and just breathed in all of the fabulousness that a fortnight of respite can offer. For the first time ever, I did not run around, I did not make an extensive to do list, I did not chase anyone for a catch up; in fact I barely even left Enfield unless I absolutely had to, and it was one of the most peaceful breaks that I have enjoyed in some time. Above all else, I rested and I rebooted myself for the final and undoubtedly busiest term of the year which is probably the most important thing to do at this stage of the year. 
Finding grace and calm during the busier times of the year is always a challenge, so setting yourself up correctly at the launch pad is always a very wise choice. In 2007, Randy Pausch (a professor from Carnegie Mellon University in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania who had terminal cancer) made a final lecture, entitled Last Lecture, about the most important lessons that he had learned in his life. The lecture became an internet sensation, inspiring millions of people around the globe and spawned an international best-selling book that would be interpreted into 35 languages. In his lecture Randy eloquently says, among many other pearls of wisdom,  "we cannot change the cards that we are dealt, just how we play the hand."
The most resilient and impressive leaders of our time have used this philosophy to stay the the course and to show courage in the face of adversity. The people that use the most challenging times of their lives as valuable teaching moments (for themselves or others) are the wisest and strongest people. And the bottom line is, that in the struggle, there is real growth. And even though I would love to swan around in downward facing dog and wander about the Enfield forest every other afternoon, that is not the only way that my soul is going to get fed. By avoiding all contact, challenge and confrontation I am not really stretching my boundaries as a person and I am not really fulfilling my potential to make a difference. The struggle is important, the struggle is valuable and the struggle is necessary. 
So raise a glass to challenge, welcome some adversity into your life. Don't let it make you furious, let it keep you curious. Like I said in my previous writings, it's all about turning straw into gold and finding the joy in all states of being. Yes, there is a time for rest and relaxation, but there is also a time for action and progress and I recognise that the time for me to pick up my tools and continue with the work at hand has arrived, and I feel like I am ready and recharged for the task ahead. This time, I welcome the return.

Don't really know what happened, but somehow October just arrived. How we have already reached the tenth month of the year fills me with great confusion and concern, because it was around October last year that I went for my first job interview in over a decade and started to forge a new way of being for myself. In some ways that feels like it was very long time ago, because I have made so many changes to my life since October last year, and then in other ways it feels like it was only a few months ago that I plucked up enough guts to throw caution to the wind and put myself out there again.
However, no matter how you look at it, there is no denying that October has just snuck in the back door and that we have well and truly arrived at the 'ber' months of the year. This means that it will only be a matter of time before the onslaught of 'way too bloody early' Christmas propaganda and paraphernalia arrives in stores, spurring on early hysteria and panic among the masses and obligating us all to make lists, shop and prepare. Bottom line for me here is that there is no fricken' way that I am ready for another Christmas yet, and I flat out refuse to acknowledge any of that early stuff and nonsense of Christmas until I have at least managed to milk a decent Halloween celebration out of October. 
Until the ghosts, goblins and ghouls have come out to play for Samhain, I am not doing any department store trees, front yard twinkling lights, Christmas shopping lists or pudding recipe chatter, I will not even entertain it! The Christmas decorations and Christmas tree do not come out in our house until the start of December, and then (and only then) will I happily allow a full 25 days of hysteria and anticipation, damn I'll even encourage it! But just like eating easter eggs before Easter Sunday or hot cross buns before the week of Easter arrives, some things are better to wait for and Christmas mania definitely falls into that category for me. 
Nope, October is all about freaky deaky horror for me, the freak-ier and deak-ier the better. I generally re-watch all of my fave horror movies over October and search out some new material to bring to the fold as well. Making candy apples, carving pumpkins and inventing dark and desirable new cocktails is what October is for. And it's the last month to splurge in couch slouching before the weather gets really hot and we all get a lot more social and start heading outdoors in the evenings.
So, with only four weeks until Halloween (and impending hysteria) arrives, I think that I might get my thinking cap on and plan a night of fun and festivities in Enfield. And above all, there will have to be some terrifically terrifying movie choices for my guests, so I must begin my research asap!

One of the biggest obstacles that I have faced in my Transcendental Meditation (TM) practises so far has been the relinquishing of my power to control everything, to accept and just let go. Learning to accept all of the aspects of my life and work from a place of non-judgement is not as easy as it may seem and it does require a certain shedding of old habits to make room for new pathways and states of being to generate.
The further that I delved into the inner workings of my own mind (a labyrinth of unchartered territory exists in there I can assure you), the more aware that I am becoming of the layers of hidden anger and hurt that I have shoved down over the years. This anger has manifested itself in so many ways in my life in the past. It has been a merciless beast that has stood in the path of my own happiness, manifesting itself in unpleasant ways through my fear, boredom, ill-will, judgement and criticism. TM is forcing me to challenge those old ways and thought patterns, and it is creating a space for me to 'turn straw into gold.' 
Just like the maiden that is locked in a room and forced to spin straw into gold in the fairytale Rumpelstiltskin, we too have the ability to use our problems and old default modes to discover a true inner wisdom, peace and love. In his book A Path With Heart, Jack Kornfield discusses this exact topic and the ways in which we can overcome these apparent obstacles to uncover a better and higher way of thinking.
It is perfectly normal to have and feel all of these emotions, even the most adept yogis and zen masters in the world still have a myriad of these emotions, they don't just cease to exist because you have found your enlightenment. All emotional states are an integral part of living and they are vital to our growth and development as a whole being. It is not the emotion itself that even matters, it is the way in which we approach these thoughts and feelings that determines how much energy we are willing to invest in them and whether we view them as either straw or gold. 
Think of of it in terms of this ancient and extremely wise tale about a poisoned tree. On discovering the poisoned tree, some people immediately saw it as a threat and exclaimed that it should be cut down at once and destroyed. 'Burn it as well', they demanded, 'so that no more seeds can ever grow again and no-one will ever eat the fruit of the poisoned tree'. This reaction resembles our initial response to the difficulties that arise in our lives, when we encounter aggression, compulsion, greed, or fear, when faced with stress, loss, conflict, depression or sorrow in ourselves or others, our initial response is to avoid, destroy and remove the threat. 
Other people, who may have journeyed further along in life will discover the poisoned tree and have no aversion to it at all. They know you must remain open to all things in this life. They will say, 'do not cut this tree down. Instead let's have compassion for the tree'. They will build a fence around the tree so that it may keep its life and so that others may not be poisoned by it. This approach shows a profound shift of relationship from judgement and fear to compassion. 
And then there is a third type of person, who has travelled even further in life and has much vision and thought, and when they see the same poisoned tree they will exclaim 'Oh! A poisoned tree, perfect! Just what I was looking for'. This individual will pick the poisoned fruit off the tree and investigate its properties, mix it with a bunch of other ingredients and then use the poison as a great medicine to heal the sick and transform the ills of the world. Through respect, intelligence and an understanding that even from great adversity comes wonderful opportunity, this person will find value even in the most difficult of circumstances. This last person has mastered the art of making straw into gold, and we all have the opportunity to become that person by considering the way in which we meet our disappointments, obstacles, challenges and heartaches. 
Through deepening my ability to listen to my inner self (mind, body and spirit), I am becoming more and more aware of my own negative reactions and feelings, as well as my positive ones. I am slowly learning that no state is any more or less valuable than any other, and that all aspects of life and living are valuable and precious. I am trying to learn the art of making straw into gold, and although it is going to take me a long time to learn to do that really well, I am learning none-the-less; which means that I am on a path of self discovery.
That fact alone, is much more than I could have ever hoped TM would offer to me. I have been very fortunate to be able to have the time to embark on this experiment of the soul and it is pretty safe to say that I will be continuing my practises. At this point I would also happily recommend a regular meditation practice (of any type, not just TM)  to everyone,  because we all need to get a little better at making straw into gold and nurturing ourselves. 

Being a massive fan of science fiction means that I never get tired of movies or television series that feature parallel universes, alternate realities and possible 'do over' scenarios. Ever since the Doctor Who series introduced me to the idea that there could be more to this life than what we perceive there to be (way back in the 1970's) I have allowed my imagination to indulge in a multitude of possibilities which has made me particularly susceptible to the concepts of time warping science fiction tales. 
Unfortunately, my enthusiasm for the genre has meant that I have had to endure some tremendously bad science fiction viewings over the years, proving that just because the subject matter is interesting doesn't always mean that the interpretations are great. In fact, in spite of my genuine interest, there are not that many parallel universe movies or TV shows that have been done very well. 
Creating a truly well crafted alternate universe tale takes a lot of skill and a tonne of talent, more than most moviegoers actually give script and story writers the credit for. For a start, interpreting a parallel universe into something that other people can understand and also engage in, is a major hurdle and then making sure that it doesn't get too 'quantum physics' weird and bogged down with scientific based fact in order to keep the loopholes to a minimum poses another major task.
When you tackle the parallel universe landscapes of a science fiction story where there are a multitude of timelines and endless possibilities, you run into two serious problems straight off the bat.  One, is making the story interesting but not too convoluted, and the second is making it believable. Most people do not want to have a solve a Rubik's Cube of scientific information when they watch a movie, but they also don't want a script with more plot holes than swiss cheese; and that is so damn hard to do with time travel, alternate universe or multiple reality scripts. Hard, but not impossible. Sometimes they are done so well, that you leave the cinema thinking that you have just witnessed something so smart, so clever and so unique that everything else will pale in comparison until the next big blow up movie arrives. And they are the movies that keep me wanting more of the parallel universe genre, and they are the reason for my science fiction addiction. 
Here is my list (in no particular order) of my favourite alternate reality, time travel and parallel universe based movies and TV series:
Movies:

• The Matrix
• Coraline
• Edge of Tomorrow
• Donnie Darko
• Run Lola Run
• Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children
• Interstellar
• Cloud Atlas
• Predestination
• eXistenZ
• Back to the Future Series
• The Time Machine
• The Terminator
• The Fountain
• 12 Monkeys
• The Endless

TV Series:

• Stranger Things
• The Twilight Zone
• Doctor Who
• Futurama
• ​Twin Peaks
• Rick and Morty
• Quantum Leap
• ​Maniac

One thing that I sure do love about having some extra recreational time in my life is being able to curl up on the couch with a coffee in one hand and a fabulous novel in the other and just read for hours without interruption. Reading is such a pleasurable activity and it is something that so often gets pushed to the wayside for me when I get really busy and it is something that I definitely look forward to indulging when time allows. I try hard to read at least one book and one entire magazine every month (Empire is my preferred choice) and if I don't read at least 10 books over the year, then I feel like I have failed terribly on the reading front. 
These days more and more people are reaching for an e-book for convenience and ease when it comes to their reading needs, but there are actually some extraordinary and scientific reasons to pick up a 'real' book and lose yourself, and a lot of those reasons are linked to health and wellbeing.  
Firstly, and probably foremost, reading increases your intelligence. Remember Dr Seuss' old chestnut? - "the more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you'll go."  Well, there is quite a lot of evidence to support that statement and according to a paper from the University of California, people that are exposed to higher amounts of vocabulary through literature and conversation have higher academic performance and higher IQ's in general.
Reading a 'real' book over a 'screen' book will also increase your reading speed by as much as 20-30% and a real book has been proven to engage memory more significantly than a screen book can because the physical act of turning a page offers your brain a tactile reference to the context which helps you to recall the information with more accuracy in the future. So if it's a reference or study book that you are reading then you should always opt for the real version over the e-book. 
Reading works for your brain in the same way that jogging works for your cardiovascular system, and regular reading improves your brain's memory function, which helps to keep your mind sharper and your processing abilities honed. In turn, that reduces your chances of having lowered mental function and cognition as you get older. And it is now a well known fact that people that read, play chess and complete puzzles are up to 2.5 times less likely to get Alzheimer's disease than people who don't, which proves that reading is actually vital to maintaining excellent mental functions.
Reading has also been scientifically proven to improve empathy and an understanding of other people's mental states. Turns out that every time that you get 'lost' in a novel, that you are actually building up the skills in your brain that allow you to understand complex social relationships and the characteristics of human societies. Which basically means that reading makes you more emotionally intelligent in the long run. 
On top of all that, reading also helps to reduce stress levels by up to 68% and reading before retiring in the evening has been proven to offer a more restful and sound sleep, but again it needs to be 'real' book and not a screen novel that you are reading, because looking at a screen before you go to sleep has the opposite effect. 
If all of that hasn't convinced you that you need to read more often, than I don't know what will. Seriously, go and get a book and get reading, it is so good for you! And if you don't know what to read, well of course I have you covered there as well!
Here is a list of 20 of my all time favourite books (in no particular order) for you to get lost in if you need a good place to start:

1. The Harry Potter Series by J.K. Rowling (my fave book series of all time)
2. Life of Pi by Yann Martel
3. Ready Player One by Ernest Cline
4. Let the Right One In by John Ajvide Lindqvist
5. Going Bovine by Libba Bray
6. I Am Legend by Richard Matheson
7. The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern
8. The Solitaire Mystery by Jostein Gaarder
9. The Industry of Souls by Martin Booth
10. Geek Love by Katherine Dunn
11. Big Brother by Lionel Shriver 
12. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time by Mark Haddon
13. Interview With the Vampire by Anne Rice
14. Crank by Ellen Hopkins
15. Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell by Susanna Clarke
16. The Bartimaeus Trilogy by Jonathan Stroud
17. Like Water for Chocolate by Laura Esquivel 
18. Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka
19. Gods Behaving Badly by Marie Phillips 
20. The Lord of the Rings Trilogy by J.R.R Tolkien

I am officially on school holidays! I started a little earlier than everyone else because my son needs to have some serious dental work done later today, so I am a couple of days in advance of all of the other staff at school that are still in it for the long haul; and even though I may be nursing a rather sore and sorry teenager for the next couple of days, I am certainly thankful for the early respite. 
I know that I say this every time that the school holidays roll around, but school staff really do earn every minute of holidays that they get each term, and a winter term is always a tough one to get through, for both the staff and students. So a little frolick time in the warming spring air is just what the doctor ordered and I am really looking forward to hitting the garden, the easel, the couch, the yoga mat, the cinema and probably the whiskey bottle as well if I am being really honest about it. With 18 work free days ahead of me, the possibilities are endless and I will be taking full advantage of balancing out my rest, relaxation and realignment time with getting some 'need to do' tasks ticked off my list as well. 
The yard is looking positively swampish out here at the moment, weeds are protruding from every garden bed, some plants droop sadly after the ravages of the heavy winter frosts and the driveway is starting to look more like a lawn than a gravel track, which means that it's weed spraying time! I actually quite enjoy being in the garden and I find gardening tasks more than tolerable especially when they are teamed with a decent podcast and a spot of sunshine. I can easily spend a few days in the sun pottering about in the yard and not feel like I have done any chores at all, and the results are always more than worth the time that you spend making them happen. 
I was more than pleased to see that my vegetable patch has self seeded a lot of spring vegetables without any assistance from me, so a bit of weeding and a few extra pots of vegetables from the nursery should put that all back in order again. In fact there is already a very healthy speckling of rhubarb, beetroot, spring onion, chard, leek, kale, parsley, kohlrabi, oregano, spinach and even a couple of heads of lettuce that have flourished without much effort from me at all. I haven't even been out there in over eight weeks, so I was pretty surprised to see so much action when I checked it the other day. It truly is amazing what a bit of sunshine, rain and some warm spring air can do to a garden...and to the soul. 
I am certainly finding myself in high spirits at the moment, not just with the holiday situation but also with my TM practices. I have been meditating for at least 20 minutes a day over the past 10 days now and I have been feeling a lot more at ease as a result of that. Transcendental Meditation actually requires two twenty minute sessions a day, but with the half an hour of yoga and half an hour of walking that I already do every day, it is just too much to squeeze in. Perhaps over the break I will be able to increase my meditation time further, but when I am working it is a challenge to make everything fit. However, one of the biggest benefits that I have noticed so far with TM has been my increased energy levels and lack of tiredness. I rise around 5.40am and go to bed around 11pm and I sleep so restfully and always wake feeling totally rejuvenated, often before my alarm even goes off now!
And, on top of my regular daily routine which (aside from my paid work) always includes yoga, walking, journaling, meditation, braille practice, meal preparation, cleaning and household chores, I have also (in the last 10 days) entertained two dinners (with three courses that I cooked from scratch), gone out for dinner with friends four times, gone to the movies, attended a work PD, had a coffee date with a friend and kept up with my blog and the all of the TV series that I am watching at the moment. PHEWWW! It's been hectic, but I don't feel worn out at all, in fact I feel like I have more energy than I have ever had. Is that possible? Is it all psychosomatic? Am I convincing myself that TM is making my life richer or does it really work? Hard to say just yet, but safe to say that I am going to be continuing with my practice at this point, and let's just see where it all takes me.

I did something this week that I have never done before in my life, I asked to speak to a manager about poor customer service. Being a person who used to work in the service industry myself, I think that I am pretty lenient when it comes to customer service. I understand that no-one can be at their best 100% of the time and I am usually reasonably accommodating to that fact. I normally would never request to speak a store manager to complain or 'dob' in a worker for their poor service, but on Friday at a well known Australian supermarket chain, I did. And I did it because of the disgraceful service that I received from not one, but two of their staff. 
Let me tell you exactly what occurred. I was in the fresh produce section and realised that there were no produce plastic bags on the rolls in the area that I was in, none in that entire row actually, and I stopped a young female staff member as she was scooting past me and asked -'excuse me, there are no plastic bags in this aisle, could I please get some more?' She did not speak to me, but held out a hand and pointed to another staff member at the other end of the isle, which I found extremely rude for a start. Then when I started to approach the other staff member that she had directed me towards, she quickly wheeled her cart out the back and was gone. Hmmmmm....okay, clearly not the best customer service day at this supermarket, but I just laughed and turned to Seth and commented to him that it was a 'not my job - not my problem' situation and went on with my shopping. 
That was when I overheard the young female staff member that I had first approached at the end of another produce isle, casually bitching to a fellow staff member about how rude all of the customers were today and how she was tired of our surly behaviour. They were both laughing and agreeing and then the first female walked away and the one that she was moaning to came to my end of the produce section. I'm not going to lie here, I was actually pretty annoyed at this stage and I approached the new female staff member and calmly said 'Hello, I was wondering if we could get some plastic bags on the rolls down this isle because there aren't any. I did already ask the young lady that was busy bitching to you down the other end about how surly the customers are today, but she didn't even have the respect to speak to me.'
At first the girl looked shocked, she shifted from foot to foot and then she laughed and said 'we don't have any more bags,' and then she turned her back to me and went on with stacking the fruit. I went on to say, 'you are joking, are you seriously trying to tell me that there aren't any replacement produce bags in this supermarket?' and she then replied to me in a very condescending tone.... now wait for it because this was the when the pin popped out of my grenade, 'there's some in other isles you know, just go and get one from the other end of the produce section.' And that was it, I was just absolutely livid...I felt really really angry, I was triggered, it was like a bomb went off in me. For some reason this simple chain of events had really got me cross, cross enough to go to another staff member and ask to speak to a manager. 
I would like to point out that in spite of me feeling exceptionally cross, I did not yell and I did not abuse anyone, I just calmly told the manager what had happened, and I stated that the young ladies had made me feel extremely unwelcome in the store and that the customer service standards were absolutely appalling. And get this, while I was telling the manager my story, the two young ladies that had just made me feel like crap were standing together in the produce section eyeballing me, whispering behind their hands and giggling, which I also pointed out to the manager in the hope that they would get a decent arse kicking for being so flippant and rude. 
Easily the worst customer service that I have ever had in my life - EVER! And after speaking to the manager who just seemed as ill equipped and lost as his dreadful produce girls, I went home and got onto the supermarket website and made another formal complaint. I was on a roll! And like I said, I would normally just let things go, but I have never felt so mistreated in a shopping environment in my entire life, and considering the fact that I didn't even shout, demand or abuse anyone, then the treatment that I got was totally uncalled for as well. 
I am hoping that this is just an isolated incident and that it isn't an illustration of how low customer service standards have fallen recently, because if I had to put up with that shit every time that I went out shopping, then I would just start to shop online. Talk about ruining a person's zen on a Friday afternoon, it was not a nice start to my weekend at all!

In life we are constantly faced with a series of choices and decisions. Some of those choices are simplistic and really don't require any deep thinking on our behalf, they are the no-brainer choices that we make everyday on autopilot, mundane things like 'what will I have for breakfast today, toast or cereal?' And other times the decisions that lay ahead of us are profoundly life altering, and making a choice one way or another can seriously alter the way that our lives will play out. 
There is nothing that any of us can do to avoid facing the fork in the road from time to time. Sometimes we feel ready to make changes and we are happy to discover a crossroad up ahead, and then other times we feel completely ill equipped to choose any of the roads that we are presented with; but the roads rise up to meet us nonetheless and in turn force us to decide our fate.
With decision making (like all choices) there are consequences, and we all want to avoid any bad ones as much as we can and carry our choices with us for the long haul. We all need to be able to live with our decisions, but sometimes things are not as clear cut as we would like them to be and we can find ourselves tossing around in bed at night, anguishing over the 'what ifs' and 'why did I's' that life sometimes dishes out to us. 
So, how do you live with the bad choices that you've made? How do you move on from a poor decision or a dreadful consequence? Well, you just do really, because you have to. It's either that or let it eat away at you until you are just a big ball of anxiety and self loathing and no-one wants to be either of those things. But living with the decisions that you make, good or bad, is certainly easier said than done, and I am yet to meet anyone that doesn't have any regrets about some of the choices that they have made in their past.
And I guess that there is something seriously comforting in that knowledge; that all of us do have regrets and that all of us do make mistakes from time to time. And just knowing that it is okay to do stupid things, say stupid things and make horrific mistakes from time to  time and then put them behind us and move on with our lives is good stuff to know. It's one thing that we all have in common, and in accepting our flaws, faults and mistakes, we can better accept the flaws, faults and mistakes of others as well. It's all part of the process of finding the whole self and getting a little better at 'life-ing.'
However, that being said, I do believe that one should always try to avoid making horrific choices as often as possible as well. Just because we all make mistakes doesn't mean that we should all throw caution to the wind making decisions without thought or in disregard to all consequence. Quite the opposite really, I believe that all choices should be made mindfully and purposefully; with longevity, community and humility always being at the forefront of any choice. An extra day of pondering can allow a lifetime of regret to become a lifetime of happiness, and that is certainly something to consider.
I once read that you should never make decisions when you're angry or elated because neither are sustainable feelings, and I do think that most of the bad choices that I have made in my life were generally during either my angry or elated moments. So I think that there is definitely some sound advice to be found in that little slice of wisdom, and any advice that can leads us to a guilt free, calm and settled lifestyle is good advice in my eyes.
​Even though there is no magic formula when it comes to the best life choices, just remember to always sleep on any big decisions and never allow yourself to feel rushed or pressed to make a big life decision. As for the little stuff, let that shit go, if it isn't going to matter in six months from now, then it isn't worth losing sleep over, let it slide off you like water off a duck's back. And anything that happened more than six months ago is well and truly over, so make peace with your mistakes, own them, learn from them and move on knowing that you just got a little bit better. 

What the hell is Transcendental Meditation (TM) and what is the deal with all of the buzz surrounding it? Every famous person and their dog seems to be investing in the power of Transcendental Meditation, claiming that it is a total game changer that is easy to do and simple to access. I have been spending a bit of my free time looking into the rising phenomenon of TM and trying to work out what it is actually all about and whether or not it is just another zen-based sham that hooks in unsuspecting people that are just looking to get a little more well-being into their lives.
From what I can understand, TM dates all the way back to the Vedic traditions of India, however the primary person responsible for bringing it to Western cultures during the 1960's and 1970's was Maharishi Mahesh yogi. He taught his methods to various people who then became his disciples, spreading out and teaching his TM methods to millions of people around the globe. Maharishi Mahesh yogi himself has also taught many celebrities the art of TM, including the Beatles way back in the 60's, which would explain the Sergeant Pepper phase of The Beatles musical career. 
The meditation practice itself apparently involves the use of a simple and natural technique that requires the repetition of a mantra for 15-20 minutes twice a day whilst sitting with your eyes closed. Sounds pretty simple right? TM also vehemently claims that it is NOT religion or a philosophy of any sort, just a new way of engaging and calming the mind.
It is reported to be one of the most widely practised forms of meditation today as well as the most researched form of meditation being used. Users swear by its life changing benefits and famous people are seriously jumping on board the TM bandwagon like bees swarming around a honey pot. Some famous people are extremely vocal about their appreciation of the practice and are constantly online tooting and tweeting about TM's miraculous benefits. Celebs like Ellen Degeneres, Hugh Jackman, Cameron Diaz, Jerry Seinfeld, Paul McCartney, Russell Brand, Katy Perry are all huge advocators, and director David Lynch has even opened his own foundations to support the use of this ancient Vedic practise.
The transcendental meditation process has been proven to help people heal from addiction, depression, insomnia, PTSD, loss and anxiety with very positive results, and it is even being used effectively to assist children with ADHD and Autism with managing their levels of stress as well. Is there nothing that TM cannot do? It literally sounds like a wonder drug doesn't it? So why aren't we all doing it if it's so damn good?
Well the answer to that is quite simple really, it's frickin' hella expensive! Around $1500 for 4 x 60 to 90 minute sessions to be exact, and that is why we aren't all TM ourselves stupid all of the time, it's not free to get that zen apparently! However, after further delving into TM, it appears that there are in fact free avenues that can be accessed, and that you can save yourself a lot of money if you look into those methods before committing to a very expensive program.
The feedback that I have seen from the free methods, does appear to be as good as the actual TM trademark, but hey, the proof is in the pudding right? So I am personally committing to trialing a 30 day TM program (the free method of course because I am not paying anyone $1500 for four hours of meditation) and I will let you all know just how life changing TM is over the coming weeks. Will it be as amazing as all of the propaganda claims that it is? Or is TM really just a Vedic based money making machine for the rich and the famous? Watch this space and I will keep you informed as the month unfolds. 

Mental wellness is something that most of us will struggle with at some point in our lives. Even the most seemingly 'put together' people have lapses into the world of imbalanced thought and mental challenge from time to time, they are just a lot better at hiding it from everyone. However, whatever walk of life you are from, whatever your background is, whatever your social standing is, you will inevitably, at some point, feel not so fantastic, wonder what the hell you are doing with your life and question whether you are operating at your best. 
It's completely normal to not feel 100% mentally balanced all of the time, hell some people lead very regular lives and feel mostly mentally unwell a lot of the time, it's just not something that a lot of people feel comfortable about proclaiming to the world, because no-one really wants to appear like they haven't got their shit together. However, letting pride dictate how we deal with our mental health issues is archaic and unproductive to societal wellness and we really need to strive to move away from that outdated and counterproductive mindset. We all really need to know, that it is totally okay to not feel okay all of the time. 
​As time rolls on and the methods of researching mental health improve, we are learning how to diagnose, treat and support each with our mental wellness; the old school shame and stigma that was attached to mental health is now being shed and people are feeling more comfortable to come forward, share their stories and be honest about how they are feeling, and in turn receive better support than they ever have been able to before. 
It is a brave new world when it comes to mental health. Gone are the days of closet depression and hidden anxieties as people are now learning to recognize and own their individual mental wellness levels. More people than ever before are seeking treatment and support and we are slowly but surely learning tolerance, detection, prevention and intervention that will definitely set us up for a brighter future together in the coming years.
And the real work surrounding mental wellness is something that we need to be vigilant about every day.  Each of us must make an effort to recognize the signs within ourselves that tell us when our levy has run dry or we have met our own personal limits. And those limits are unique for everyone, and we must respect that and support that understanding. We must become ninjas at recognizing when we are at the top of our game and when we may be feeling weak. When we are at our peak, we have an obligation to assist those that may be feeling weak, and when we are weak we need to feel safe and secure enough to seek support from the strong. We all owe it to each other to be tolerant, supportive and unwavering in our commitment to our own mental health and our support of the wellness of others. 
R U OK? Day is coming up on Thursday September 13th,  which is a national day dedicated to reminding us that we need to check in with each other and support each other with mental wellness. Don't forget to check in with your friends, family, work colleagues and community on that day, and every other day that you can when you are feeling strong enough to support the wellbeing of others. Mental health is the responsibility of us all and it's not something that we can ever afford to ignore. 

Movies that are based on games....hmmm.....not exactly the most successful movie genre and for a good reason really, because most of them are absolutely shithouse. Time and time again movie makers have attempted to recreate the magic of a quality game experience and interpret it into an engaging movie, and time and time again they have failed dismally. 
Why do games adapted into movies fail so often? Simply because games put you into a first person experience; a complete immersion into a full blown sensory experience. No movie, no matter how awesome it is, can offer the same level of immersion that a game can. There is a reason that people can wander around in the open play landscapes of a game for hours on end, and it is not just because the graphics are awesome. It's because they are in control of the environment and the events that play out, in a movie the only one in control is the director and half the time they are working with a pretty thin storyline. 
Games do not require multi layered or deeply intelligent storylines, and I mean no respect to gamers by saying that. But it is true, most gamers prefer a simple storyline, if they wanted something deeper they would be watching movies and not gaming. Gamers want to solve puzzles, navigate landscapes and basically level up, sure some storyline is required so that players can engage with their characters and the situation or problem within the game, but it doesn't need to be excessively complex or convoluted. More weapons and power ups and less of the jibber jabber is generally appreciated by a lot of gamers. Therefore, when a film studio picks up on a game that is hugely popular and then attempts to interpret it into an epic blockbuster it fails dismally, because most games aren't designed for storyline or character development, which are essential components in any decent movie. 
Quite often, hit movies are re-interpreted into games with some level of success, especially children's movies which require less storyline overall in game play mode. Those Lego games are so damn entertaining and I have wasted days of my life playing those, and every successful Disney movie ever made has spawned a game off the back of it's box office success, from Toy Story to The Pirates of Caribbean, there have been so many. Also children's movies with a fantasy or magical element to them transition seamlessly to a first player gaming model; Harry Potter and LOTR games are great examples of that. It seems that going from a movie to a game is a much better formula overall than going from a game to  a movie.
Have there actually been any good game to movie interpretations? A couple were okay, and I do say that generously, but they are pretty damn thin on the ground. Generally they are unwatchable shit but I am hoping that someday soon a director will hit the right formula and prove to everyone that the gaming genre can be interpreted well. 
Here is my list of the best game to movie adaptations, but as I said...it's thin on the ground and it's a rather sad line up overall. 
1. Silent Hill - hardly brilliant material, but for fans of horror it's a worthy watch, just so that you know who Pyramid Head and those weird arse nurses are. 3 Chilli Peppers
2. Resident Evil - the first one was watchable and that's where the joy ends. 2.5 Chilli Peppers
3. Prince of Persia - it has a very buff Jake Gyllenhaal in it, for that reason alone it is worth a look. 2 Chilli Peppers
4. Warcraft- I know that I slept through most of this film, but I also know that they tried really hard to make this watchable, so kudos for that. 1.5 Chilli Peppers
5. Tomb Raider - They just keep on coming, and they aren't getting any better. Marginally tolerable material with lots of hot chicks, but shithouse storylines.  1 Chilli Pepper
6. Assassins Creed - it has Michael Fassbender in it, that immediately earned it a chilli pepper. 1 Chilli Pepper

When you work with children and hit the seven to eight week mark of the third term of the year, you have really hit that part of the year that tests your fortitude in so many ways. The weather relentlessly teases you with hints of the coming spring by supplying glorious afternoons where the sting of the sun can be languished in, only to slap you down again in the evenings with night temperatures plummeting below zero and freezing up the pipes and windscreens of everyone in town.
The children that you work with now know you well enough to exactly estimate where your line in the sand is in regards to behaviour tolerance,  and they will now also feel compelled to do their very best to see if they can nudge that line just one more inch across in their favour. It is also a time when, no matter where you may be working, the honeymoon is truly over. The rest and recharge from the last break that you had has completely worn off and been replaced with a dull sense of fatigue, repetition and lack of personal down time that forces you to work extra hard to maintain your sense of zen and not turn into a whinge or a tyrant. 
This is the time of the year when yoga, meditation, excellent whiskey and movie marathons become absolutely imperative to one's good health and wellbeing. A day of PJ's and couch time, lengthy sessions on Pinterest, long dinner dates with friends, hours hunched over sketchbooks, long hot bubble baths with saucy novels and endless cups of coffee are all necessary solutions to combat the negative effects of too many children over too many days. 
Self preservation of one's zen is absolutely key when it comes to the hard yards of the back end of a winter term. You have to find what it is that makes you feel happy and more resilient, and you have do that thing to death. Do it as often as you can and for as long as you can, whenever you get the chance to. Finding what makes you shine when you don't feel very shiny is so very important, because we all have days when we just want to punch stuff and get shouty, but it's not ever okay to do that; especially if you're working around children! So save yourself the bloody knuckles, the heartache and the worry and learn to stay zen, even when you really don't feel like it. 

Growing up, it's a pretty overrated thing to do if you ask me. You only get to be a kid for around 18 years (although to be honest it is probably more like 15 years these days because the pressures, decision making and expectations start really early for kids now) and then after that, you're an adult - for the rest of your life! And being a 'grown up' is mostly just one big mix of constant responsibility and expectation, and although there is a lot of emotional intelligence that comes with being an adult, a lot of the other stuff is not nearly as fun as I imagined that it would be when I was a child. 
As a child I just wanted to grow up to look as hot as one of those sexy chicks from ABBA and wear really cool clothes, drink coloured liquids from flashy glasses and wear lurid make-up, because that is what cool adults appeared to be doing when I was growing up. I imagined that adult life would be uber cool, carefree and would basically resemble one big unending party of awesomeness where you got to eat whatever you wanted to and drink alcohol and dance the night away every night of the week; which I suppose that you can do as an adult if you don't have any real responsibilities. But who the hell has no real responsibilities? A Kardashian? No, not even a Kardashian, because I am pretty sure that even they probably do have things to get done as well! Seriously, a completely carefree adult life is pretty much a total pipe dream because all adults (even the really rich and famous ones) have responsibilities.
​Unfortunately, as a child, adults never tell you about all of the incredible responsibility and expectation to succeed that comes with being a grown up, but they really should.  I know that I wouldn't have been in a such a damn rush to grow up if I had known how difficult it was to be an adult for the rest of my life. I wish that I had had a realistic idea of what being an adult looked like, because it looks nothing like ABBA or high fashion for me or most of the other adults that I know. 
Most adults that I know are often running around on empty, looking and behaving in a pretty un-glamourous state most of the time. They are often worrying about money or their employment whilst trying hard to juggle their social, private and professional lives and many of them often claim to feel utterly overwhelmed with responsibility. Now if someone had of told me about that, and the realities of how you feel after partying every night, then I would not have rushed through my brief childhood years wishing that I was a grown up.
On the contrary, I think that I would have milked the shit out of being a kid for a bit longer! I like to think that I have still reserved some level of childlike whimsy in my life, but  let's not bullshit ourselves here, no almost 45 year old woman can get away with claiming their 'childlike whimsy' without raising a few eyebrows, it's considered too weird, even for the most open minded of us. And even though we all know how tough it is to be an adult and how much we all need respite from all of the pressure and responsibility of being an adult, we still willingly deny ourselves the opportunity to a embrace our childlike whimsy, which is pretty sad really. And not only  do we deny ourselves of it, we also frown upon other adults that are doing it because it is considered to be a bit on the kooky side. 
Well, if you know that you are doing that, than you need to stop doing it immediately. All adults need to not only keep a sense of childlike whimsy in their lives, but they need to reconnect with that part of themselves that believes that life can be carefree and fun, like we all believed it was when we were children. If you allow your life to get too bogged down in responsibility and expectation, then you stop really living and you just start surviving, and life is not meant to be survived, it is meant to be lived. Lived like you lived it as a child, without constant worry and concern, but with a sense of being in the moment and grabbing as much fun out of every minute along the way as you can. 
You may not be able to do it everyday, but on some days, you most certainly still can. You can still do loads of the things that will make you forget about your adult concerns for a minute and just be in the moment, you just have remember how to do it. Most of us forgotten how good it feels to forget our troubles and responsibilities and just cut loose. It is totally okay to dance all night long, or run in the grass, or drink coloured drinks from fancy glasses, or fly a kite, or climb a tree, or skip with a rope, or sing at the top of your voice when no-one is around.....or to just feel alive. That childlike whimsy may not be something that you feel particularly connected to any more, but you can't let go of your inner child, not ever. Your ability to reconnect to the wonder and free abandon of your inner child will help you to recognise how important it is to let go from time to time. 
​Allow yourself a bit of time to be childlike again, you'll be surprised how good it feel to not be in an adult mindset for a spell. Being an adult has it's rewards, but being in touch with your childlike whimsy is exceptionally rejuvenating and I highly recommend a break from adulting whenever you get the chance. 

CORALINE 
Release Date: 2009
Rating: PG
Running Time: 100 mins
Based on the Neil Gaiman novella of the same name, this stop-motion realisation is a dark little tale indeed. Having also read the book, I was delighted to see that none of the magic or the macabre had been watered down, but this is definitely not a movie for smaller children and parents should heed its PG rating. 
When curious Coraline finds another world that is a strange and yet more exciting version of her own, she thinks she has hit the jackpot. But things are not as they seem in this other world and something sinister is at play. 
Under Henry Selick's direction (Nightmare Before Christmas and James and the Giant Peach) you are going to get creepy undertones and deep metaphors, but you'll also get intelligent children's cinema, so hooray for that - I loved it!
FINAL SAY: I don't want buttons for eyes!
4 Chilli Peppers ​

Last night I went to see BlacKkKlansman at the cinema, which I really enjoyed and felt was very 'of the moment' given the climate of racial tensions around the globe at the moment. The movie really got me thinking about how undeniably evident it is that we have such a long way to go when it comes to tolerance, equality and prejudice, and I feel really overwhelmed by the amount of hate that still exists in our so called civilised and evolved world. And all of that hate does pose some concerning questions around the true nature of how evolved we really are. 
I only recently discovered that it is frowned upon to use the term #alllivesmatter. I must have been living under a rock for the last 3 years, because I had always believed that it was a slogan associated with a person's respect for every living thing -  equally - every human, every animal and every plant - EVERYTHING LIVING! But apparently that hippy theory of mine is definitely not the case. 
To use or support #alllivesmatter is considered deeply offensive because white people have used it as a form of racial slander against the #blacklivesmatter campaign, which in turn created further tensions and stirred up more hate and fighting, and now there is no way that I can use that term in good conscience.
I am so naive about the whole topic that I literally had no idea that it was even racially linked! I genuinely do believe that all lives matter but I am definitely not going to use that term again because for one thing, I am white and for another, I am afraid that I will offend someone unintentionally if I do use it. I am most certainly not at a racist, and I would not like to be mistaken for one just because I ignorantly misused the term #alllivesmatter. 
​There is just no room in this world for all of the hate and all of the tension that is occurring on a daily basis. There is absolutely nothing to be gained from everyone pointing out how different we all are from each other all of the time, what we really should be working harder to do is to find more common ground. We are all more alike than we are unalike, and when it comes to this beautiful planet of ours we really are all on the same side. 
We need to unite and together we need to march for peace not power. We need to celebrate our differences and empower each other to love and most importantly to heal from a very fractured past. We need to learn to stand tall side by side, against tyranny and oppression, and find peaceful ways to move forwards together with our energies firmly invested on nurturing our planet...but we all know that we are not even close to achieving that goal right now. 
While our planet, the one place that we all share together and the one thing that we all have in common withers beneath our feet, we - the people of the globe, would still rather fight and disempower and hate and rape and pillage and steal and condemn; and honestly it just breaks my heart that we are still so damn disillusioned and blinded that we can't see how easy it would be to just love one another instead.
Call me a hippy, call me a dreamer and yes, I suppose that I am both of those things, but you cannot deny that the world would be a far better place to live if we could all just move forward together with a greater purpose. I would love to see that happen in my lifetime, but in reality I am happy to plan and work towards it happening in my grandchildren's; because like I said, we've got a long way to go and the work needs to start now. 

I adore music and just like movies and TV, I love music in all forms and all genres, with the exception of Country and Western and Scream-O, I just can't get into them, and I sincerely apologise to any die hard C & W  or S-O fans out there, but I have tried both and they are definitely not for me. However in saying that, I do respect that both of those music genres have a lot of avid fans. And I also strongly believe that any form of music that can transport you to another place or make you feel a certain way is a success on some level. Whether you like a certain style of music or not is irrelevant anyway, because music is an art form and it is not supposed to appeal to everyone's tastes, and like art is about finding a form that suits you and your personal taste the best. 
It is music's unfailing ability to create a mood, set a scene or transport you to another time that appeals to me the most. I have music compilations on Spotify for every mood and moment, from deep transcendental meditations to high energy dance music, and I regularly listen to them all.
The other day while I was perusing Pinterest I came across a list of 30 questions about music that was a lot of fun to complete. The list of questions had me rummaging about through my old CD collection and scrolling through my playlists and reminiscing about all of my favourite songs. I found myself downloading and listening to a heap of songs that I had long forgotten about, and because I had such a great time answering the questions on that list, then I thought that I should share it with you all so that you can have a go at answering them as well.
I would also like to note that it is a lot of fun to complete this list after you've had a couple of drinks, and it would probably be really good fun to complete with a friend and/or partner as well, but you can always just go solo as I did and still have a blast belting out your old favourite tunes.
So, without further ado, here is the list:
1. A song you like with a colour in the title.
2. A song you like with a number in it.
3. A song that reminds you of the summertime.
4. A song that reminds you of someone that you would rather forget about.
5. A song that needs to be played LOUD!
6. A song that makes you want to dance.
7. A song to drive to.
8. A song about drugs or alcohol.
9. A song that makes you happy.
10. A song that makes you sad.
11. A song that you never get tired of.
12. A song from your preteen years.
13. One of your favourite songs from the 80's.
14. A song that you would love to have played/ or played at your wedding.
15. A cover song that you love.
16. A classical song that you love.
17. A duet song that you would be willing to perform at karaoke.
18. A song from the year that you were born that you love.
19. A song that make you ponder life. 
20. A song that you want played at your funeral.
21. A favourite song with a person's name in the title.
22. A song that motivates you to get going or move on. 
23. A song that you think that everyone should listen to. 
24. A song that you love by an artist that has died.
25. A song by a band that you wish were still together.
26. A song that makes you think about falling in love.
27. A song that breaks your heart.
28. A song by an artist with a voice that you love.
29. A song from your childhood.
30. A song that you think best sums up who you are. 
There you go, hours of musical thinking, pondering and some deep emotional responses to get through on that list, and I still haven't even finished my own list completely yet, it's a work in progress.
If this list doesn't define some of your musical preferences for you, then I don't know if anything will, but anyway, just go and get lost in some musical memories for a few hours because it's just a really nice thing to do a rainy day. 

WHIPLASH
Release Date: 2014
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 107 mins 
Written and directed by Damien Chazelle, and based on his experiences in the Princeton High School Studio Band, this film took the cinematic world by surprise with it's gripping and inspiring story about an ambitious young drummer. J.K. Simmons won the Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor for his disturbing portrayal of the abusive teacher Fletcher, and the movie has since gone on to win a host of over 80 other film awards. 
When Andrew (Miles Teller) finally gets accepted into a prestigious jazz music academy for his drumming abilities, he thinks that his dreams have come true. However, he soon realises that his teacher, Professor Terence Fletcher (J.K. Simmons), is a tyrannical perfectionist that will push Andrew to his limits and beyond. 
There is such a raw intensity to this movie; watching the determination of  Andrew as he struggles with his emotional abuse in search of his artistic glory is pretty tough going. When it comes to Whiplash, it truly is a case of 'the agony and the ecstasy,' and with that heart thumping soundtrack racing along in the background all of the time, it keeps a dramatic and intense pace. 
FINAL SAY: Were you rushing or were you dragging? 
3.5 Chilli Peppers ​