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SPICYWATCH

Get to the Chopper!

31/5/2015

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Wow, so much drama out at Enfield yesterday when a bus load of tourists from Hong Kong crashed and over turned their vehicle on the highway, landing on the corner opposite our house. 
I was just lounging around watching TV when I saw Craig running across our block shouting for to me to call an ambulance, which I did immediately. Upon exiting the front door I saw the carnage. The buses wheels were up in the air, still spinning and I could hear people inside shouting out 'help me.' Craig and our neighbour across the road were the first ones on the scene, opening the back of the bus and helping the tourists out. One poor guy was bleeding profusely from the head due to a laceration but everyone else appeared to be okay, just in a state of shock. It wasn't long until the ambulances arrived, two of them and about five cop cars and a fire truck and of course within half an hour the media as well. The place was swarming with flashing lights, and just when I thought it couldn't get anymore dramatic an ambulance chopper arrived to air lift the injured man to hospital. 
Apparently the driver hit a pot hole and lost control of the bus, swerving uncontrollably onto the wrong side of the road, mounting the embankment and then flipping over. The poor tourists were all really shaken up and the fact that none of them seemed to speak much English certainly made things a lot harder. 
Clearly the man with the bleeding head was seriously injured, but the rest just suffered minor bumps and bruises which was a bit of a miracle given the state of their bus. It took about five hours to clear away all evidence, transport the tourists and flip the wreckage back over, and Colac Road was closed to all traffic for about an hour. This is the first big accident that we have seen out here, and I hope it is the last because it was pretty horrible. 
The only good thing that came out of it was the fact that we now know that a chopper can be landed within 100 metres of our side door, should I ever purchase a helicopter. Seth found it all extremely exciting, especially when the helicopter arrived, running about yelling 'get to the chopper!' in an Arnold Schwarzenegger accent. I had to remind him that this was a catastrophe and not a side show, but I had to agree that it was a bit exciting. 
Hopefully this incident will be enough to get the council to address the terrible state of the roads out our way, so that this sort of thing doesn't happen again. Those poor tourists are certainly never going to forget their trip to Australia that's for sure. 
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CRASH
Release Date: 2004
Rating: R 18+
Running Time: 112 mins 
Co-written, produced and directed by Paul Haggis, Crash won three Academy Awards including Best Picture at the 78th Academy Awards and was inspired by a real life incident that happened to Haggis when he had his Porsche carjacked outside of a video store in 1991. The film centres on racial and social tensions in Los Angeles, and was well received by critics and audiences alike for its refreshing and unusual approach. 
Several characters with different ethnic backgrounds, classes, genders and personal experiences interweave over two days in Los Angeles. 
This film is working hard to break down stereotypes and preconceived ideas about people. By putting both victims and perpetrators of racism into the limelight, Crash demonstrates that in different contexts the characters all have the potential to be both. Most of the racial remarks and comments that are made seem to stem from ignorance and misconception rather than malice, allowing the characters to sway our judgement of them back and forth.
The cast is massive, with notable performances from Matt Dillion, Sandra Bullock, Thandie Newton, Don Cheadle and Jennifer Esposito and although it may be taking a few liberties with its depictions of certain races, it does have a voice and a message worth hearing. 
FINAL SAY: You folks drive safe now. 
3.5 Chili Peppers

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Long Weekend

27/5/2015

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Woohoo! I am going to have a long weekend starting from tomorrow afternoon at 3.30pm. Seth has a student free day and I have put in for carers leave to look after him, so I am free as a bird by knock off time Thursday arvo, bloody bliss! Apart from holidays, a three day weekend is the next best thing. It's like a mini holiday from responsibility, and it is amazing just how much you can pack into a three day weekend. 
So with the prospect of joy just around the corner, I am actually feeling pretty good today. Funny how an extra 24 hours of freedom can add so much happiness to your life. A lot of people would just pull a sicky and have an extra day when they felt like it, but I just can't do that. I get wracked with guilt when I have a sick day, even when I am sick, which is the only time that I do have a day off. I just have this insane sense of obligation to my work that makes me feel bad for having any time off, even when I am really unwell. God help me if I ever do get really unwell because I know that I will carting my half dead carcass into work when I should be at home or in a hospital bed. I can see me now rocking up in a gown with a drip still attached trying to explain that I am ready to return. 
This sense of obligation and accountability is something that I think my parents instilled into me as a child, because all of my siblings have an incredible work ethic as well. And just like me, they make shitty patients and sick people too. None of us is able to sit still for very long and prefer to be kept busy. 
If it wasn't for my obsession with cinema and cheese I would have the same body proportions as Kate Moss I reckon. But thank God I don't because no one wants to be around a skinny nutter that lives to work, doesn't go to the movies or eat camembert, agony! 
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CLERKS 
Release Date: 1994
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 92 mins 
Written and directed by Kevin Smith, this shoe string budget comedy, shot in black and white surprised everyone when it grossed over $3 million in theatres, launching Smith's career and making 'Silent Bob and Jay' household names. 
It's a day in the lives of two convenience store clerks, Dante and Randal. Whilst giving their half-heart efforts and attentions to their minimum wage jobs, they meet a variety of weirdos and talk at length about relationships and life in general. 
The movie is all shot at the Quick Stop, and is completely reliant on dialogue to deliver it's profound message about a mundane life. The black and white filming choice was wise, as it really enhances the colourless and prosaic existences of the characters. This is sharply written, darkly funny and obscenely entertaining stuff. I thought that it was brilliant and that Kevin Smith completely deserved all of the attention that this movie generated for him. 
FINAL SAY: This job would be great if it wasn't for the fucking customers.
4 Chili Peppers

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Friends, they come and they go.

24/5/2015

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We have all had friends that have come and gone in our lives. The passing of a friendship can be a truly traumatic experience, especially if you thought that there was more to the friendship than they did. But sometimes, friendships were just never really meant to be. 
Some friends are only really your friends because you were somehow thrown together at a certain time in your life that offered you a chance to start a new friendship, but the opportunity for longevity was really never there. Other friends are created through your job or your hobbies, or your family and other friends and some friends just seem to sprout out of the most unlikely of places. 
There are friends that you have that aren't really friends at all, these are the friends that are actually pretty hard work, everyone knows what I'm talking about, we have all had a friend like this. These friends are constantly making you work for their friendship without much in return, or even worse there's the soul sucking 'friend' that only wants you around when the shit hits the fan and they need you to hold their hand and listen to their woes for hours on end. 
I have had so many friends come and go in my life that I couldn't even hazard a guess at a number. I have invested time and energy into people that were truly a waste of my time, I have pursue friendships with people that clearly didn't want me in their lives and I have also been lucky to enough to get some really amazing friends along the way. 
Just recently an old friend that I was 'besties' with in my teen years re-emerged into my life. Clearly, neither of us are the same people that we were when we were fifteen, but we have managed to re-ignite a friendship based on similar lifestyles and a knowledge of each others pasts. It feels a lot like I am getting to know her all over again which is strange and fascinating territory. 
Some friends, if you're lucky, are tried and tested, in it for the long haul and are giving and taking in equal measure. These are the best friends that a person can hope for, they are rare gems but they do exist. I am blessed with good people like this in my life. I have had my good friends come to my emotional rescue, share my trials and tribulations and best of all share their time with me. 
The fact of the matter is that we all need friends, we all need someone to share our thoughts with without feeling judged or worried that our confidence will be betrayed. I hope that I have been as a good a friend to by special mates as they have been to me, because I know that I would be lost without them. And regardless of whether my friends have just come or long gone in my life, they have all in some way shaped me as a person, offered me some perspective and more than likely shared a drink and a laugh with me at some point, 'cos that's what friends are for and I'm damn glad I've got them. 
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INTOUCHABLES 
Release Date: 2011
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 112 mins 
This French drama-comedy directed by Olivier Nakache and Eric Toledano became the second biggest box office success in France, and soon made it's way into the hearts of millions across the globe for its powerful story about friendship.  
Phillipe is a wealthy, intellectual and unhappy quadriplegic that is looking for a carer. He happens across the charismatic and street smart Driss in an interview and decides to give him a chance. After a short trial period, Phillipe and Driss become fast friends and Driss teaches Phillipe that there are still things in this world worth living for. 
I think that the reason that people loved this movie so much was because it gave the audience permission to laugh with, not at, people with disabilities and see there lives in a new and intimate light. I liked the banter and antics between the two protagonists as they engaged in their newly found bromance, the interactions felt unforced and quite natural.  
I enjoyed this movie immensely, it's really touching and humorous stuff. 
FINAL SAY: We listened to your classics, now it's time to listen to mine. 
3.5 Chili Peppers

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Angels and Demons

20/5/2015

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The existence of angels and demons have plagued humans for centuries. Are they real? Do they watch over us? And why do some people get visited and other people get nothing? 
I myself have never been 'touched' by an angel, as they say. I have never felt any heavenly intervention or presence in my life. I do quite like the concept of an angel though, and it would be pretty cool to have one in your life, but essentially I don't think that they are real. Not the winged, white, halo wearing versions that we usually perceive them to be anyway.
It is therefore only fair to say that I also do not believe in demons, because you can't have one without the other. No I don't believe that there are cloven-hooved, horned entities trotting around sprinkling bad shit on everything and generally causing mayhem. I also don't believe in hell or eternal damnation, or heaven for that matter. I do think there is the possibility of an after life, but I just think that it's not as simple as you go up or you go down. I believe that it would have to be more complex than that and involve a lot less harps, fluffy clouds, pitch forks and fire. 
Do I believe in good and evil? Of course I do, I live here on earth, I see examples of both everyday. I have seen people behave in ways that would make the angels envious, and I have seen others make me wonder if they needed an exorcist. I actually think that we all have a bit of good and evil in us, and depending on our core values, our environment and our choice of company we can swing either way. I really don't believe that anyone is born inherently bad, I believe that people 'go' bad which is probably even sadder when you think about it. 
But there are millions of angel and demon believers out there, and I don't have a problem with that, believe whatever you like as long as it brings no harm to others I say. But so far, for me, I don't believe in angels and demons, but I sure do like the whole wacky concept. 
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ST. VINCENT
Release Date: 2014
Rating: M
Running Time: 102 mins 

This is a sweet comedy drama and a theatrical feature film debut for director Theodore Melfi. After coming second in the People's Choice Awards at the Toronto International Film Festival in 2014, St. Vincent started to gain some momentum and was soon winning hearts everywhere for it's sentimental and quirky story line. 
When recently separated Maggie (Melissa McCarthy)moves in next to the misanthropic drunk Vincent (Bill Murray) she is not holding out a lot of hope for any sort of friendship. But when she finds herself in a pinch, she discovers that Vincent can be relied upon as a regular sitter for her 12 year old son Oliver (Jaeden Lieberher). Vincent and Oliver form a unlikely friendship that leaves a lasting impression upon them both. 
Yes, there are quite a few laughs to be had here, but it is the touching bond between the cantankerous Vietnam veteran and the delightful young man that makes this film so utterly charming. Notable support performances are offered by Naomi Watts and Chris O'Dowd, but Bill Murray really takes the cake for his depiction of the slovenly character Vincent. 
FINAL SAY: I'm showing him how the world works. You work, you get paid, you drink.
3 Chili Peppers 

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Great Pestilence

20/5/2015

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So the flu has found its way into our home, with Seth being the first to succumb and then me in rapid succession. This is a real smack down virus with intense body aches, head aches and a feeling of general malaise. The worst is the fact that I have been sick over what has quite possibly been the most beautiful weekend, weather wise, in weeks, and all I have wanted to do is crawl onto the couch with a blanket and moan like a zombie straight out of The Walking Dead. 
I am the worst sick person ever, I absolutely hate it when my body fails me and I always try to push myself before my body is genuinely ready to perform, which just makes me even more tired and cranky as a result. Joy! So with my movements slower than a snail and my ability to do much of anything at an all time low, I have been forced to grab for the cope dope and waste an otherwise spectacular weekend doing three parts of fuck all and wishing that my bones didn't feel like they were turning to dust under my skin. 
But, if you are going to live in the Central Highlands area of Victoria, you have to prepare yourself for these inconveniences, because it doesn't matter how well you prepare and how many vitamins you push into yourself, you simply cannot outrun a cold or flu forever. In fact I lasted a whole month longer than I did last year, so that's saying something. Nope, nothing to do but ride it out, every boring, aching, minute of it. 
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Fungi Town

13/5/2015

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Holy hell in a handbag, the weather has gone all kinds of wrong lately. It has been rainy and windy and cold; really, really cold. Getting out of bed has become an unbearable challenge and I am noticing more and more people succumbing to the dreaded lurgy that always arrives around this time of the year. 
The only things that are thriving at Enfield are the weeds and the fungi. There are so many varieties of fungus taking over our yard on-mass that Seth and Craig have had a huge mushroom clean up just so that we could claim our lawn back and stop singing 'wont you take me to fungi-town' when we were driving home. 
Unfortunately, I have no idea which mushrooms are edible and which ones are not, apart from the saffron milk caps which I know that you can eat and the red night caps which I know will kill you. But that is only two varieties, we have a shit load more action than that. I bet we even have some of those magic mushrooms around, but to be honest the idea of trippin' on mushrooms really doesn't appeal to me. I reckon you would have to feel pretty dodgy in the stomach and the idea of facing of my inner demons with a massive gut ache and the runs just doesn't excite me at all.  
Apparently there is some mushroom expert lady that does workshops around Creswick and Daylesford and she teaches you which mushrooms are safe to eat and how to prepare them. I think that I am going to try and get into one of those workshops next year and educate myself, seems like a worthwhile thing to know since we have such an abundance of them. 
My nan used to pick wild mushrooms all the time, she said that if you put a little bit of a mushroom on your tongue and it tingled then you would know that it was poison and not good to eat. This somewhat risky method has never sat well with me, I wonder how many Ukrainians keeled over in mushroom filled paddocks after licking the wrong sort of fungi. Sorry nan, not going with your methods on this one, think I will seek the advise of an expert and save myself the bad trips and gut aches. 
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WINTER'S BONE 
Release Date: 2010
Rating: R 18+
Running Time: 100 mins
A brilliant independent film that has been tragically overlook by many, Winter's Bone had me on the edge of my seat with it's stark depiction of life for a teenager in a remote and Winter-crippled, rural community. Adapted from the 2006 Daniel Woodrell novel of the same name, and written and directed by Debra Granik, Winter's Bone delivers with such an ominous intensity that it had me dreading unknown outcomes and anticipating the worst. 
An unflinchingly tough teen named Ree (Jennifer Lawrence) tries to save her family's home from being repossessed after her meth-dealing father puts it up for collateral and then disappears. Ree sets out to find him and dangerously challenges her kin's codes of silence to determine his fate.
This movie made Jennifer Lawrence a star, she delivers a solid and Oscar worthy performance that set her up for a string of movie offers soon after.  If you haven't seen Winter's Bone yet, you need to. 
FINAL SAY: Bleak and dirt poor. 
3.5 Chili Peppers

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Happy Mother's Day

10/5/2015

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Started my Mother's Day Sunday with a sleep in and then breakfast in bed, thanks Zoe! Zoe gave me a kick arse Chinese cook book that will come in super handy next Chinese New Year and Seth gave me a new drink bottle for work because he felt that my old one was inadequate. This one says 'Super Mum' on the side, so it's pretty cool. 
The cards that the kids gave me were so adorable, the messages were really heartfelt and beautiful. I am so lucky to have such awesome kids, they really have turned out to be very cool individuals that I am just so proud of.  
Zoe and I headed into town for lunch with my eldest sister and mum, followed by a visit to Her Majesty's theatre to see the latest local offering - Miss Saigon. I really didn't know anything about Miss Saigon, so I was surprised when it turned out to be a tale about a Vietnamese hooker that gets herself knocked up after a two week affair with an American GI. 
Firstly, it seems pretty irresponsible for a prostitute to be having unprotected sex and secondly, she went a little bunny boiler over this guy that she had only known for two weeks; obsessing over him for years to come. But, if you can throw all logic out the window and ignore her Glenn Close-esque behaviours and just take in the incredible singing and dancing, then you'll get a lot out of it. Mum bawled her eyes out the end, so she clearly felt moved by it, perhaps I am just too cynical for my own good. 
All things said and done, it was a really nice Mother's Day. I haven't gone out for lunch for ages and I certainly haven't been to see any live theatre for over twelve months, so that was a treat. It is nice to know that all of my efforts don't go unnoticed and that my kids think that I am doing a decent enough job to deserve some pampering from time to time. 
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MAMMA MIA!
Release Date: 2008
Rating: M
Running Time: 108 mins
I would be lying my arse off I said that I didn't really like this musical, because as much as I hate to admit it, I bloody loved it! I was singing along with all of the songs and laughing out loud at the all of the antics, I just had a really good time with this film. Adapted from the West End Broadway musical of the same name and built around the successful songs from ABBA, Mamma Mia! was met with mixed reviews, which can only be expected, I mean not everyone likes ABBA songs, so it was always going to be a risky venture. 
Young Sophie (Amanda Seyfried) is about to get married. She discovers that her father could be one of three men from her mother's past (Skellan Skarsgard, Pierce Brosnan or Colin Firth). So Sophie goes behind her mother's (Meryl Streep) back and invites them all to the small Greek island that they live on to celebrate her wedding day. 
Keep in mind that this is a musical, and it plays out like one. The script has been constructed around the songs, so it does go off in some pretty random directions, but it's just so much fun. It's completely exaggerated and utterly silly, but if you are a fan of ABBA hits, well you are just going to love it!
FINAL SAY: The winner takes it all. 
3 Chili Peppers

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Hello Penelope and Welcome Back Serenity.

6/5/2015

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Who would have thunk it? After residing myself to the belief that Serenity was heading off to car crash heaven, you can imagine my surprise when our insurers informed me that she  was merely heading off to the smash repairs for a quick make over. Cheeky girl, she sure had me fooled with her front end dangling on the ground! So, she's going to be back in action in about a weeks time and then she will be all ready for Zoe when she gets her license in a few short weeks. Oh Serenity, so full of surprises! 
However, without a car of my own and the prospect of Serenity moving on to another owner soon, I had to get myself busy purchasing a new car, and she's a beauty! A 2010 silver Holden Cruze, and I have called her Penelope, because just like Penelope Cruz she is loud on the outside but tiny under the bonnet. She is a modest 4 cylinder car but her black leather interior and Tron like dashboard scream of high maintenance, so Penelope she is. 
Penelope is the first automatic car that I have ever owned, and this is a concept that is going to take a bit of getting used to. I can't even count the amount times that I have tried to pump a non existent clutch and I have even pulled the the stick out of drive trying to change gears. Hopefully I will not continue to be so hard on Penelope because unlike Serenity I don't think that she was built for flogging. 
I tell you one thing that I know for sure, I can feel a road trip coming on very soon. Time to gather my favourite allies and head out for some adventure, new territory awaits me and Penelope is just dying to take me there. 
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LOCKE
Release Date: 2014
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 85 mins 
You wouldn't think that a movie that is all shot within the confines of a car with one man talking on the telephone would make for very interesting viewing, but you would be so wrong. Locke is extremely compelling viewing, from the first phone call to the last; we watch as Ivan Locke's life unravels rapidly, all in real time and all delivered by the one man show that is Tom Hardy.
I feel that I would be doing everyone a disservice if I even mention the story line here, because the less you know about Locke the better. All that I can say without giving anything away is that a dedicated family man and committed construction manager undertakes his biggest challenges over an hour and a half, whilst he is behind the wheel of a car, and it is gob-smackingly good.
Tom Hardy yet again demonstrates his staggering ability as an actor by giving so much depth and character to Ivan Locke. There are no other actors to be seen here, only their voices are heard, but there is certainly no lack of story or emotion. This is brave and clever cinema, it's absolutely unmissable.
FINAL SAY: I want to know that I am not driving in one direction. 
4.5 Chili Peppers 

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Kangaroos and Cars

3/5/2015

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It appears that kangaroos and cars definitely do not mix, which is exactly what I found out when we had an accident this week involving my faithful and beloved car 'Serenity' and some random and now very dead kangaroo. Thankfully, it was only the roo that was hurt in the ordeal, however poor Serenity has certainly looked a hell of lot of prettier. 
Turns out that one decent smack to the front end with a hunk of sinew and muscle can cause thousands of dollars worth of damage, and given Serenity's already aging physique, she looks like she will be written off and sent to greener pastures. A rather unceremonious ending for a vehicle that has served me so well, but all good things do eventually come to an end.
So now I have begun the search for a new car. This is exciting new territory for me, as it has been fourteen years since I have looked for a new car. When I say new, I mean second hand but new to me, I would never pay the ridiculous price that is asked for a brand new car, I have very little interest in statement cars. Vintage cars I do love, but the practicality and safety is just not there, so that is just another pipe dream. No, I will going for reliability, fuel efficiency and comfort over anything else. No utes, no SUV's or 4 wheel drives, no V8 engines and definitely nothing pink or purple in colour. When it comes to cars I generally like the white bread varieties, I don't need to be seen or envied for my ride, that's just not how I roll. 
But one day, when I am filthy rich and too old care about sensibility anymore, I just might go and buy myself a vintage sports car that makes no sense whatsoever and drive it with the top down, wind blowing in my grey hair and stereo blaring, just to prove to the world that I've still got it - and by 'it' I mean too much money! But that's a dream for another day. 
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THELMA AND LOUISE
Release Date: 1991
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 130 mins 
The quintessential chick flick and gal pal story, Thelma and Louise is an all American crime drama, written by Callie Khouri and directed by Ridley Scott. Both Susan Sarandon and Geena Davis were nominated for Best Actress Academy Awards on the steam of this film, and Brad Pitt made his debut to the big screen; but it is the sparkling screenplay with it's fresh approach to 'the buddy story' that stole all of the attention here. 
Louise (Sarandon) is a waitress with man troubles, Thelma (Davis) is an unhappy marriage, the best friends decide to head out on a road trip in an attempt to escape the problems of their lives. However, things take a nasty turn when Louise shoots a man for attempting to rape Thelma and they find themselves on the run across the Southwest in an attempt to get to Mexico and evade the law.
This is a terrific movie about friendship, it speaks volumes about the crap that a lot of women endure in the name of love and about women taking back their own power. Thelma and Louise is the best female road trip movie that has ever been made and is fabulous movie to watch with your best friend. 
FINAL SAY: You get what you settle for. 
3.5 Chili Peppers

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    Hi, my name is Barb.
    I crave excellent, high quality viewing experiences. 
    ​Share in my addiction. 

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