The Academy Awards (or Oscars) are officially Hollywood's biggest awards 'night of nights.' They serve to award movie makers, directors and actors who have reached a pinnacle of excellence in their careers. To even receive an Oscar nomination is huge deal in Hollywood, and unlike the Golden Globes that celebrate television and film excellence, the Academy Awards are solely focused on recognising achievements of excellence in film.
The categories at the Oscars span much further than acting and directing, and also offer recognition for all of the creative and technical work that goes on behind the scenes when movies are made. From costuming, sound, cinematography, visual effects and cinema shorts, the Academy Awards are the most prestigious and coveted of all of the Hollywood award events, and even though I never miss the Golden Globes, the Screen Actors Guild Awards or the Critics Choice Awards, the Oscars are easily my favourite awards ceremony to watch every year. 
If you should wish to see the Academy Awards ceremony yourself this year, it will be broadcasting live on Channel Seven from 12pm on Monday 10th February, with an encore airing at 7.30pm for those of you who, like myself, will be at work during the day of the ceremony. 
And this year, the Academy Award nominees are as follows:
Best Picture:
“Ford v Ferrari”
“The Irishman”
“Jojo Rabbit”
“Joker”
“Little Women”
“Marriage Story”
“1917”
“Once Upon a Time in Hollywood”
“Parasite”
Lead Actor:
Antonio Banderas, “Pain and Glory”
Leonardo DiCaprio, “Once Upon a Time in Hollywood”
Adam Driver, “Marriage Story”
Joaquin Phoenix, “Joker”
Jonathan Pryce, “The Two Popes”
Lead Actress:
Cynthia Erivo, “Harriet”
Scarlett Johansson, “Marriage Story”
Saoirse Ronan, “Little Women”
Charlize Theron, “Bombshell”
Renee Zellweger, “Judy”
Supporting Actor:
Tom Hanks, “A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood”
Anthony Hopkins, “The Two Popes”
Al Pacino, “The Irishman”
Joe Pesci, “The Irishman”
Brad Pitt, “Once Upon a Time in Hollywood”
Supporting Actress:
Kathy Bates, “Richard Jewell”
Laura Dern, “Marriage Story”
Scarlett Johansson, “Jojo Rabbit”
Florence Pugh, “Little Women”
Margot Robbie, “Bombshell”
Director:
Martin Scorsese, “The Irishman”
Todd Phillips, “Joker”
Sam Mendes, “1917”
Quentin Tarantino, “Once Upon a Time in Hollywood”
Bong Joon Ho, “Parasite”
Animated Feature:
“How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World,” Dean DeBlois
“I Lost My Body,” Jeremy Clapin
“Klaus,” Sergio Pablos
“Missing Link,” Chris Butler
“Toy Story 4,”  Josh Cooley
Animated Short:
“Dcera,” Daria Kashcheeva
“Hair Love,” Matthew A. Cherry
“Kitbull,” Rosana Sullivan
“Memorable,” Bruno Collet
“Sister,” Siqi Song
Adapted Screenplay:
“The Irishman,” Steven Zaillian
“Jojo Rabbit,” Taika Waititi
“Joker,” Todd Phillips, Scott Silver
“Little Women,” Greta Gerwig
“The Two Popes,” Anthony McCarten
Original Screenplay:
“Knives Out,” Rian Johnson
“Marriage Story,” Noah Baumbach
“1917,” Sam Mendes and Krysty Wilson-Cairns
“Once Upon a Time in Hollywood,” Quentin Tarantino
“Parasite,” Bong Joon-ho, Jin Won Han
Cinematography:
“The Irishman,” Rodrigo Prieto
“Joker,” Lawrence Sher
“The Lighthouse,” Jarin Blaschke
“1917,” Roger Deakins
“Once Upon a Time in Hollywood,” Robert Richardson
Best Documentary Feature:
“American Factory,” Julia Rieichert, Steven Bognar
“The Cave,” Feras Fayyad
“The Edge of Democracy,” Petra Costa
“For Sama,” Waad Al-Kateab, Edward Watts
“Honeyland,” Tamara Kotevska, Ljubo Stefanov
Best Documentary Short Subject:
“In the Absence,” Yi Seung-Jun and Gary Byung-Seok Kam
“Learning to Skateboard in a Warzone,” Carol Dysinger
“Life Overtakes Me,” Kristine Samuelson and John Haptas
“St. Louis Superman,” Smriti Mundhra and Sami Khan
“Walk Run Cha-Cha,” Laura Nix
Best Live Action Short Film:
“Brotherhood,” Meryam Joobeur
“Nefta Football Club,” Yves Piat
“The Neighbors’ Window,” Marshall Curry
“Saria,” Bryan Buckley
“A Sister,” Delphine Girard
Best International Feature Film:
“Corpus Christi,” Jan Komasa
“Honeyland,” Tamara Kotevska, Ljubo Stefanov
“Les Miserables,” Ladj Ly
“Pain and Glory,” Pedro Almodovar
“Parasite,” Bong Joon Ho
Film Editing:
“Ford v Ferrari,” Michael McCusker, Andrew Buckland
“The Irishman,” Thelma Schoonmaker
“Jojo Rabbit,” Tom Eagles
“Joker,” Jeff Groth
“Parasite,” Jinmo Yang
Sound Editing:
“Ford v Ferrari,” Don Sylvester
“Joker,” Alan Robert Murray
“1917,” Oliver Tarney, Rachel Tate
“Once Upon a Time in Hollywood,” Wylie Stateman
“Star Wars: The Rise of SkyWalker,” Matthew Wood, David Acord
Sound Mixing:
“Ad Astra”
“Ford v Ferrari”
“Joker”
“1917”
“Once Upon a Time in Hollywood”
Production Design:
“The Irishman,” Bob Shaw and Regina Graves
“Jojo Rabbit,” Ra Vincent and Nora Sopkova
“1917,” Dennis Gassner and Lee Sandales
“Once Upon a Time in Hollywood,” Barbara Ling and Nancy Haigh
“Parasite,” Lee Ha-Jun and Cho Won Woo, Han Ga Ram, and Cho Hee
Original Score:
“Joker,” Hildur Guðnadóttir
“Little Women,” Alexandre Desplat
“Marriage Story,” Randy Newman
“1917,” Thomas Newman
“Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker,” John Williams
Original Song:
“I Can’t Let You Throw Yourself Away,” “Toy Story 4”
“I’m Gonna Love Me Again,” “Rocketman”
“I’m Standing With You,” “Breakthrough”
“Into the Unknown,” “Frozen 2”
“Stand Up,” “Harriet”
Makeup and Hair:
“Bombshell”
“Joker”
“Judy”
“Maleficent: Mistress of Evil”
“1917”
Costume Design:
”The Irishman,” Sandy Powell, Christopher Peterson
“Jojo Rabbit,” Mayes C. Rubeo
“Joker,” Mark Bridges
“Little Women,” Jacqueline Durran
“Once Upon a Time in Hollywood,” Arianne Phillips
Visual Effects:
“Avengers Endgame”
“The Irishman”
“1917”
“The Lion King”
“Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker”

Here's a shout out to all of the directors that have given me a memorable viewing experience at some point in my lifetime. This list is designed to give credit to my favourite director's work and offer homage to their incredible efforts. I have also cited my favourite movie offering from each director as well, just in case you wanted to know where I thought that they had put down their best work thus far. 
What made me really happy when I was compiling this list was just how varied, vast and interesting the styles of direction are that I have been fortunate enough to experience, but what made me really sad was the lack of female directors that made this list. Clearly, the role of director is still a very male dominated field in Hollywood. I did happen to notice that all of the best movie nominations at the Golden Globes this year were all for male directors. And the saddest thing of all about this is, that it is not at all indicative of female directorial ability or talent in any way, shape or form, what it is indicative of is the lack of opportunities for upcoming female directors, and that is something that really needs to change.
Some of the best movies and television programs that I have seen over the last few years were both written and directed by women. Women have incredible and engaging stories to tell both in front of and behind the camera, and I for one would like to see more of them in the future. So, please make sure that you too are making an effort to see more movies that have been directed women in a show of support for all of the female directing pioneers that are out there telling their stories and sharing their visions in a very male dominated industry. 
So without any further ado, here are my favourite movie directors (in no particular order other than my recall ability) and my favourite movies that they have brought to life on screen. 
David Lynch - A true visionary in every sense, he's the man behind Twin Peaks, Blue Velvet, The Elephant Man and Eraserhead. Lynch is known for his surrealist cinema stylings and deeply original point of view.
BEST MOVIE: Mulholland Drive
Wes Anderson - The king of quirk with a distinct visual style and amusing narrative. He's delivered gems like The Royal Tenenbaums, Moonrise Kingdom and The Grand Budapest Hotel and has produced two incredible stop motion children's animations as well, one of which is on my Hall of Fame.
BEST MOVIE: Fantastic Mr Fox
Lars von Trier- A Danish director and scriptwriter that has had a long and controversial career. Basically he seems to enjoy destroying beautiful things in all of his films, which are gritty and damning. He's responsible for Nymphomaniac, Antichrist, Dancer in the Dark and Dogville, which all left a mark on me. 
BEST MOVIE: Melancholia
Jason Reitman - Reitman seems to 'get' women and understand difficult relationship dynamics, and his films certainly portray that knowledge. He brought us Juno, Up in the Air, Tully and Young Adult which were all exceptionally good. 
BEST MOVIE: Labor Day 
Taika Waititi - A clever New Zealand comedy filmmaker who always seems to get the right balance between poignancy and laughs in his films. He's the funny guy behind Moana (he wrote the first screenplay), What We Do in the Shadows, Eagle vs Shark, Boy and most recently Jojo Rabbit. 
BEST MOVIE: Hunt for the Wilderpeople
Peter Jackson - Jackson is responsible for all of the journeys that I took in darkened cinemas to Middle Earth, I bloody love ya Peter! Besides the all of the LOTR's and The Hobbits, he is also the man behind King Kong, The Lovely Bones and the incredible documentary They Shall Not Grow Old. 
BEST MOVIE: The Lord of the Rings Trilogy
John Hughes - Hughes pretty much dictated everything that I became obsessed with in my teens. From bad boys to '80's fashion Hughes could do no wrong. I have rewatched Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Sixteen Candles and Weird Science countless times, they're absolute classics. 
BEST MOVIE: The Breakfast Club
Stanley Kubrick  - Probably one of the most influential filmmakers of all time, Kubrick has crossed so many genres that his body of work is dizzying! He gave us giants like 2001: A Space Odyssey, The Shining, Full Metal Jacket, Spartacus and A Clockwork Orange. 
BEST MOVIE: Eyes Wide Shut
Alejandro González Iñárritu - With a flair for telling the most compelling international stories about the human condition, this highly acclaimed Mexican director gave us some unforgettable cinematic experiences like Birdman, Amores Perros, 21 Grams and The Revenant. 
BEST MOVIE: Babel
Oliver Stone - A controversial director that has been accused of being a conspiracy theorist. He actually wrote the script for Scarface (which was directed by Brian De Palma) and also gave us Platoon, The Doors, Born on the Fourth of July and Wall Street. 
BEST MOVIE: Natural Born Killers
Michel Gondry - A French director that uses strong visual themes and compositions (often called Mise-en-scene)  to tell a story. Because of this, Gondry's movies are visually striking and are often considered to be art house or avante-garde. He gave us The Science of Sleep, Be Kind Rewind and most recently the brilliant  television series Kidding. 
BEST MOVIE: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Guillermo del Toro - A visionary fantasy director from Mexico who creatively brings monsters and mythical creatures to life in his films. Generally science fiction, horror or fantasy based, del Toro gave us some amazing otherworldly journeys through The Shape of Water, Hellboy and Crimson Peak.
BEST MOVIE: Pan's Labyrinth
Danny Boyle - This British director delivers equal measures of intense action and sincere emotion into everything that he does.  He's tried his hand at many genres and kept us gripped with Trainspotting, 28 Days Later, Sunshine, The Beach and more recently, Yesterday.
BEST MOVIE: Slumdog Millionaire
Sam Mendes - The buzz around this director has been huge this year, given the success of 1917. However, let's not forget all of his other epic offerings like American Beauty, Skyfall and Revolutionary Road.
BEST MOVIE: 1917 
James Wan  - An Australian-Malaysian director who rose to prominence after he co-created the Saw film franchise. Since then he has been scaring the pants off people with memorable horror films like The Conjuring, Insidious and Annabelle films.
BEST MOVIE: The Conjuring 2: The Enfield Case
Greta Gerwig - Actress and filmmaker, Gerwig collaborated with her partner (who is also a director) Noah Baumbach on several films before she kicked off her solo directing career in 2017 with Lady Bird. Since then, Gerwig has become a respected and predominant modern Hollywood director. 
BEST MOVIE: Little Women
Ridley Scott - I feel like I grew up watching Ridley Scott action and science fiction films. He's been entertaining me for decades and he's had some mind blowingly great movies like Alien, Blade Runner, Gladiator, Black Hawk Down and American Gangster. 
BEST MOVIE: The Martian
Michael Moore - A controversial American documentary filmmaker that gets up in everyone's face; love him or hate him, Michael Moore is hard to ignore. He's hit some very high notes with Fahrenheit 9/11, Sicko and Where to Invade Next. 
BEST MOVIE: Bowling for Columbine
Guy Ritchie - Before he married Madonna, Ritchie was making heaps of kick arse British gangster movies that were really funny and very entertaining.  He has just recently gone back to doing that again with The Gentlemen, but let's not forget that he also did Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, RocknRolla and believe it or not, the 2019 live action version of Aladdin. 
BEST MOVIE: Snatch
Jim Jarmusch - The patron saint of independent cinema since the '80's, Jarmusch's films are really arty, really cool, very edgy and hypnotically contemplative. He gave us Paterson, Deadman and Ghost Dog: The Way of the Samurai. 
BEST MOVIE: Only Lovers Left Alive
Steven Soderbergh - When Soderbergh made Unsane in 2018 and filmed it all on his iphone he made us feel like we were wasting our lives! He's a pioneer of independent cinema and his body of work is incredibly impressive; he gave us Contagion, Erin Brockovich and the Ocean's franchise. 
BEST MOVIE: Logan Lucky 
Christopher Nolan - He probably got a bit pigeon-holed for a while due to his Batman trilogy efforts (which I also loved) but let's not forget that he also gave us other memorable epics like Inception, Dunkirk and Memento. 
BEST MOVIE: Interstellar
Sam Raimi - Raimi terrified audiences in the 80's with The Evil Dead and then enchanted them in the early 2000's with Spiderman so it would be fair to say that his work is varied and vast. He also gave us some very noteworthy cult horror movies like Army of Darkness, Drag Me to Hell and Don't Breathe.
BEST MOVIE: The Evil Dead
Clint Eastwood - He blew everyone away when he started directing and acting in a string of extremely good and Oscar worthy movies, which he is still doing to this day. The man's got some serious talent and gave us gems like  Gran Torino, Million Dollar Baby and Mystic River.
BEST MOVIE: Unforgiven
Tim Burton - No-one does eccentric gothic horror and fantasy films better than Burton, he is the master! He has a style that is all his own, and with a lot of help from wife Helena Bonham Carter and actor Johnny Depp he's given us fantastical romps into magical fantasy worlds that have included Charlie and the Chocolate factory, Beetlejuice, Big Fish, Edward Scissorhands and Alice in Wonderland. 
BEST MOVIE: Sweeney Todd
Ang Lee - A visionary and a genuinely beautiful storyteller. It's rare for me not to get choked up when I watch an Ang Lee movie, they are just so deeply affecting. He gave us the gorgeous Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, Life of Pi and The Ice Storm. 
BEST MOVIE: Brokeback Mountain
Sofia Coppola - Daughter of Francis Ford Coppola, Sofia has proven her worth as a director in her own right by delivering thoughtful explorations of female relationships and genuine, modern impressions of the human experience. She was responsible for The Virgin Suicides, Marie Antoinette and The Beguiled. 
BEST MOVIE: Lost in Translation
Judd Apatow -An American comedy director that started out producing and developing the television show Freaks and Geeks in the late 90's. He went on to direct Trainwreck, The 40-year-old Virgin and Knocked Up and also write some of the funniest movies that I have ever seen. 
​BEST MOVIE: Superbad
Alfred Hitchcock - The most influential and extensively studied filmmaker in the history of cinema, how could I possibly leave Hitchcock off my list? He's been giving audiences thrills and chills for years, and he still is with his extensive repertoire of thriller classics like North by Northwest, The Birds, Rear Window and Vertigo.
BEST MOVIE: Psycho
David Fincher - Ever since I saw The Game in 1997 I became interested in seeing more of Fincher's work. He's delivered a strong, controversial and impactful body of work and was responsible for Seven, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, The Social Network and Gone Girl.
BEST MOVIE: Fight Club
Paolo Sorrentino - An Italian director with an eye for truly beautiful and meaningful cinema. His films are absolute masterpieces and offer viewers moments of contemplation and glimpses of magic - I am obsessed with his work. He's responsible for Youth and This Must Be the Place. 
BEST MOVIE: The Great Beauty.
Joel and Ethan Coen - Genius brothers who bring something fresh, quirky and unique to the screen every time.  Their repertoire is so vast and so excellent that I really struggled to pick my favourite because they delivered The Big Lebowski, Blood Simple, O Brother Where Art Thou?, Fargo, Raising Arizona, Burn After Reading and True Grit, all of which were exceptionally great.
BEST MOVIE: No Country For Old Men
Alfonso Cuaron - A critically acclaimed Mexican director with an impeccable body of high quality work that crosses just about every genre of cinema including thriller, fantasy, science fiction and drama. Thanks Cuaron for giving us truly unforgettable moments like Y Tu Mama Tambien, Gravity and Children of Men.
BEST MOVIE: Roma
Francis Ford Coppola - Widely considered to be one of the greatest filmmakers of all time, Coppola practically had an all out nervous breakdown whilst filming Apocalypse Now in 1979. His commitment to 'getting the film right' has led people to see him a visionary of cinema. He gave us such giants as The Godfather trilogy, Bram Stoker's Dracula and The Outsiders. 
BEST MOVIE: Apocalypse Now
Quentin Tarantino - Known for his uber violent, non-linear storylines that contain extended dialogue, huge ensemble casts and loads of Pop Culture references, Tarantino has a style that is all his own. Many of his films pay homage to all of his own cinematic loves, especially Japanese martial arts, kung fu movies, spaghetti westerns and Italian horror. He's the man behind the following cinematic  juggernauts - Reservoir Dogs, Pulp Fiction, Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, Django Unchained, Kill Bill Vol 1 and 2, Death Proof and The Hateful Eight.
BEST MOVIE: Inglourious Basterds
Martin McDonagh - Considered to be the most acclaimed living Irish- British playwright, McDonagh caught my attentions when he made In Bruge, and then delivered again with Seven Psychopaths in 2012. But we all know him best for his amazing 2017 offering that made my Hall of Fame.
BEST MOVIE: Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri
Kathryn Bigelow - Spreading herself across a wide range of genres, Bigelow is not afraid to grapple the big topics. She is forging the way for future female directors with her stellar repertoire which includes Zero Dark Thirty, Near Dark and Point Break.
BEST MOVIE: The Hurt Locker
Darren Aronofsky - A director with a flair for delivering surreal, melodramatic and often disturbing content in his movies. Audiences often seem divided on Aronofsky's material, but I think that he is one of the most talented filmmakers of his generation. He brought us Black Swan, Requiem for a Dream, Pi, The Fountain and Mother!
BEST MOVIE: The Wrestler
Steven Spielberg - Okay, I know that he can be cheesy as hell, but when he gets it right - he really gets it right. There's a reason that Spielberg is still filling cinemas, the man knows how to make a movie. Besides I was virtually raised on Spielberg's material. He gave us E.T., Saving Private Ryan, Jurassic Park, Ready Player One, Schindler's List, Raiders of the Lost Ark, War of the Worlds and Jaws. 
BEST MOVIE: A.I. 
Tarsem Singh - An Indian director that creates films that are a complete immersion and a true feast for the senses. Stunning and absolutely unforgettable, I love his vision and wish that he would make more movies. Singh gave us Immortals, The Cell and Mirror Mirror.
BEST MOVIE: The Fall
Paul Thomas Anderson - Contemplative and filled with flawed and desperate characters, Anderson's movies explore dysfunctional families, alienation and loneliness and they are deeply affecting. He delivered some of my favourite cinematic experiences like Magnolia, Boogie Nights and Punch Drunk Love.
BEST MOVIE: There Will Be Blood.
Martin Scorsese - An American director best known for his gangster and crime movies, he is widely considered to be one of the most influential directors of the New Hollywood era. He tends to cast the same actors in many of his movies, and he has a long professional relationship with Robert De Niro. Scorsese gave us Goodfellas, Taxi Driver, The Departed, Raging Bull and most recently The Irishman. 
BEST MOVIE: Casino
David Cronenberg - Sometimes called the 'Baron of Blood' due to his visceral body horror movies. Cronenberg has made films that people never forget that they have seen, because they are so grotesque! It's really no surprise that I love his work! He gave us The Fly, Videodrome and  Scanners.
BEST MOVIE: eXistenZ
Alexander Payne -  One of the best filmmakers of all time, Payne's movies are full of dark humour and satirical depictions of a dysfunctional modern America. He's the man behind Sideways, About Schmidt and Nebraska.
BEST MOVIE: The Descendants
Jennifer Kent - Kent made her directorial debut in 2014 with the haunting film The Babadook. She is an Australian director that is willing to handle sensitive and disturbing material. Her 2018 movie The Nightingale caused waves due to it's graphic content, but I thought that it was one of the best film of that year. 
BEST MOVIE: The Nightingale
Roman Polanski - I wish that someone that wasn't a pedophile had directed Rosemary's Baby because it's definitely one of my favourite movies of all time. But the love ends there Roman because you're just not a good guy. 
BEST MOVIE: Rosemary's Baby 
HONOURABLE MENTIONS: aka 'I still love ya'

• Terrence Malick - The Thin Red Line and The Tree of Life, total game changers.
• Brian de Palma - Carrie and Scarface, enough said. 
• Dario Argento - 1977 Suspiria, nothing has come close to matching it in crazy colour design and stylised macabre.
• Neill Blomkamp - District 9 was next level genius, can we get more of that please? 
• Baz Luhrmann - Absolutely loved the Red Curtain Trilogy, and let's not forget The Great Gatsby or Australia. 
• Duncan Jones - you had me at Moon.
• Kenneth Lonergan - Manchester by the Sea, one of the most affecting movies I've ever seen.
• Woody Allen - actually I really don't love ya - NOT at all, you're a weirdo and you're a creep! However, I cannot deny that Blue Jasmine, Annie Hall, Mighty Aphrodite and Vicky Cristina Barcelona were all worthy watches. 

Words are flowing out
Like endless rain into a paper cup
They slither while they pass
They slip away across the universe
Pools of sorrow, waves of joy
After drifting through my opened mind
Possessing and caressing me
Jai Guru Deva, Om
Nothing's gonna change my world...

Beautiful words from John Lennon and the lyrics from the incredible song Across the Universe by The Beatles.  
And why have I written them here? Well, sometimes I find that words are not always enough to express a feeling, but song lyrics - like poetry, seem to fill that void for me. In fact, I often seek the mellow embrace of a song when I really need to let it all out and there are many songs that evoke deep emotional responses within me, but for some unknown reason Across the Universe is one that I find myself turning to when my emotions get a bit jammed up or muddled. 
Apparently, The Beatles stated that the song was heavily influenced by their interest in Transcendental Meditation during the late 1960's. The mantra "Jai Guru Dev, Om" that features in the song is actually a Sanskrit phrase whose words can have many meanings. In translation it approximates as "glory to the shining remover of darkness" and it can also be paraphrased as "Victory of God divine", "hail to the divine guru," or the phrase commonly invoked by the late Maharishi Mahesh Yogi in referring to his spiritual teacher, "All glory to Guru Dev."
Whatever the interpretation, the lyrics are highly image-based with abstract concepts and in a 1970 interview with Rolling Stone magazine, John Lennon referred to the lyrics of Across the Universe as "one of the best lyrics that I've written. In fact, it could be the best. It's good poetry, or whatever you call it, without chewin' it." And he is right, it is an incredibly well written piece of music and I always feel emotional when I listen to it. 
I suppose everyone has their favourite songs that they turn to when they want to cry a little or release something or just feel a connection. Here is a list of my top 25 favourite "get your feels out" songs that help me to release my pent up emotions. These songs really get me right in the heart every damn time that I listen to them. 

1. Across the Universe - I love The Beatles version, but recently Aurora did a version on Triple J's Like a Version and it is pretty much perfect in every way. 
2. This Woman's Work - Kate Bush 
3. Thirty-Three - The Smashing Pumpkins 
4. Morning Theft or Hallelujah - Jeff Buckley
5. Breathe Me - Sia 
6. Speak My Mind or Decision- N.Y.C.K. 
7. Get on the Road - Tired Pony
8. The Drugs Don't Work - The Verve
9. Unravel - Bjork
10. Watch You Go - Tyne-James Organ
11. Horizon - Aldous Harding 
12. Listen to Soul, Listen to Blues - Safia
13. River - Leon Bridges 
14. No Stars - Rebekah Del Rio 
15. Delete - DMA's 
16. Runaway or Vanderlyle Crybaby Geeks- The National 
17. Into Yellow - Martin Luke Brown
18. Pain and Misery - The Teskey Brothers 
19. ​Misplaced - Riley Pearce
20. Elegy - Leif Vollebekk
21. Primitive - Annie Lennox
22. All We Do - Oh Wonder 
23. I Get Overwhelmed - Dark Rooms
24. Medicine - Daughter
25. The Finish Line - Snow Patrol

I'm not 100% sure that crying out your feels to your favourite sad songs is the best way to deal with your emotions, but sometimes we all need to go to dark places to find ourselves again after stressful or traumatic times and listening to "get your feels out" songs seems like a pretty innocuous way to do that; just make sure you bring your tissue box along for the ride! 

JOJO RABBIT
Release Date: 2019 
Rating: MA 15+ 
Running Time: 108 mins
Written and directed by Taika Waititi (who also stars as an imaginary Adolf Hitler) Jojo Rabbit is set to divide viewers with it's strange mixture of comedy, war and drama. This unexpected 'feel good' movie swings between poignant and disturbing depictions of the atrocities of WW2 and full blown Nazi-mocking humour, never really committing to any one genre for the duration.
Living in Nazi occupied Germany during the latter stages of WW2, young Johannes "Jojo" Betzler, his best friend Yorki and his imaginary friend Adolf Hitler attend a Deutsches Jungvolk Hitler Youth training Camp together. The camp is designed to offer boys the basics in Nazi training, whilst strengthen their hate for all things Jewish. However, when Jojo comes into close contact with a Jewish girl, all of his training and pre-conceptions are put to the test. 
This is really funny stuff; Taika Waititi, Rebel Wilson, Stephen Merchant, Sam Rockwell and Scarlett Johansson all bring a lot of comic relief and support to Roman Griffin Davis who plays Jojo with loads of flair and and an engaging fresh faced innocence.  However, this movie is not just all about the laughs, because there are a lot of important and valuable things being said here as well which definitely makes it one of the most original films of the year for me. 
For fans of previous Waititi offerings, you are certainly in for a treat and although there is no denying that Jojo Rabbit isn't not going to appeal to everyone's taste, it certainly appealed to mine. 
FINAL SAY: Definitely not a good time to be a Nazi. 
4 Chilli Peppers ​

When I think about abundance, I believe that I am truly one lucky lady. I have a terrific and supportive family, excellent friends, a great husband, a reliable job, good health and a beautiful home...so what more could I possibly want from life? It would be easy (and also quite truthful) for me to say nothing at all, but in all honesty I do actually want more. And the problem with that is not that I am greedy, because I do not long for commercial or material gains, the real problem is that what I desire to have more of in my life requires a level of mastery that I do not have yet; because what I need more of in my life is patience and compassion. 
Maybe the whole world needs more of that if we are really going to get down to the brass tacks of it all, but I can't change the whole world,  only myself.  And in order to do that I need to be proactive about change and consider how I can cultivate and harness more patience and compassion into my life.
Don't get me wrong about this, I am not some stone-cold heartless bitch or anything, I do possess a good measure of patience and compassion already, but sometimes I also do struggle with putting myself into other people's realities and seeing past my own struggles and that kind of thinking is so bloody shallow and intolerant and I would really prefer to be a lot less of both of those things.
However, patience and compassion are not something that you just miraculously wake up overflowing with one morning and declare to world that you've got it and you're done. It takes years of ongoing work to develop your levels of patience and compassion. In fact, it seems like the only way to get more patient and compassionate is to do more of the hard yards and experience the complete opposite and have some full blown mid-life 'chaos and melancholy' moment.
However, I'm not going to sugar coat or over inflate my own ability here, so I am just going to come straight out with it and say that I really, really do not want any chaos or melancholy in my life right now.... nope, no thanks....I'm looking for an overall gentler and nicer way to build my levels of patience and compassion without having to do the suffering to get there. 
Call me a pussy, but I have done the agony miles before in my life and they are not fun, and even though I cannot deny that suffering does enhance the soul, I do not want or need destruction, mayhem or any feelings of being set adrift in my world right now. So how does one grow compassion and patience in gentle and less agonising ways, and can it even be done without an order of suffering on the side? 
Well the good news is yes; yes you can develop and hone both your patience and your compassion without any torture or turmoil and it's easier than you would think. In his book Mindfulness in Plain English, Bhante Gunaratana says:
You will come face to face with the sudden and shocking realisation that you are completely crazy. Your mind is a shrieking, gibbering madhouse on wheels barrelling pell-mell down the hill, utterly out of control and hopeless. No problem. 
I really love this quote for a couple of reasons, firstly because it is so reassuring to know that even zen Buddhists understand the analogy of a  'madhouse on wheels' and secondly because he finishes with 'no problem.' Meaning that I have complete control over my ability to remain calm even in the darkest hours and meanest tempests. In spite of the worst storms I can stand my ground, be a pillar of patience and demonstrate compassion if I choose to. 
And what that really means is that the torture and turmoil, the 'side of suffering' that I mentioned earlier are all just states of mind and are only made real by my inability to manage my chaos thoughts. So rather than trying to be more patient or compassionate, what I really need to master is my ability to manage my unwelcome thoughts and emotions which will in turn lead to my impatience being transformed into patience; and being patient is a way of treating ourselves and others with compassion.
BOOM! Total result! And now I just need to put all of that into practise....which sounded really straight forward when I was writing about it a second ago....

I like to think of myself as capable, I also like to believe that I am open to new learning and willing to expand my skill set and horizons regularly through new experiences and upskilling opportunities. However, everyone has their limitations and this week, much to my own agony and dismay, I had to admit to myself and also to my employer that my bucket was full to the point of overflow and that I needed to set a boundary around certain expectations of me in the workplace. 
It is one thing to encourage others to put boundaries into place for themselves, but when you have to put in a boundary for yourself, especially when you pride yourself with being the 'can do' kid, it is a really difficult and honestly, very emotional thing to do. And for someone like me that sets themselves continuously high personal standards, it was one of the most uncomfortable things that I have ever had to do. I have never had to ask anyone to step up for me and put a stopper in something because the expectations were getting too high for me to meet, and it has been a bit soul destroying to have to do that. 
Even though I know that setting a boundary for myself is nothing to feel guilty about, I still oddly do feel a pang of guilt and also a measurable degree of disappointment in myself for not being able to meet certain expectations. As I said earlier, when you are used to coping under pressure and then suddenly find that you can't sustain that any longer, you feel like shit about yourself, and even though it takes strength to say 'this is too big and unrealistic' you just don't want to ever have to say that. 
However I did, I did say it and probably delivered a few other home truths about my role that has needed to be clarified for some time as well. And in all honesty, these things probably should have been clarified a long time ago, well before I got to the point where I was using the 'frog in the boiling pot' analogy to describe what it feels like to be in my position. The saying better late than never is certainly true in this instant however, for my own sanity I do wish that I had clarified these feelings earlier, but as I said, in order to clarify these issues I also had to be willing to admit that I wasn't coping and that was not an option for me until I had reached my maximum overload point. 
So what did I learn from all of this? That I have limits, that I can't do everything all at once and that sometimes I need to be willing to own my shortcomings without seeing it as a defeat. I have also learnt that I need to open a more clear dialogue around problems with senior staff earlier and that setting boundaries for myself in the workplace is a skill that I need to hone before I will be comfortable with it. 
I haven't quite made my peace with owning my limitations just yet, but I know that I will and hopefully things will change for the better now that I have raised a few flags for my employers to consider. And who  knows? Maybe some good will come from my conversation and perhaps it will open some people's eyes to some of the realities around positions like mine where you are a highly effective worker bee reliably contributing as best you can to a much larger business, but no less valuable or significant than some of the queens bees in the hive, especially when you look at it from our perspective.
I just wish that it didn't feel like I had to die a little inside to make these things understood, but I also understand that those feelings are all coming from me and no-one else but me, and those feelings are my personal jagged little pill to swallow...all on my own. 

It is important to understand not only your own triggers, but to able to identify the triggers in others around you as well. The fact is, that no-one in the world doesn't have a tipping point, everyone does, even the Pope and the Dalai Lama have trigger points, they are just a lot better at managing their triggers, so people think that they don't actually have them. But of course, they are human and every intelligent individual on the planet understands that to be human is to be imperfect and fallible, and sometimes that means getting angry or annoyed about things, feelings or situations. 
The ability to be able to identify triggers in yourself and others offers a person a huge life advantage. If you can identify your own triggers then you can both manage them better and avoid situations that are going to cause you undue stress. Being able to identify someone else's tipping point could be seen as an unfair advantage and if you were a villain you could certainly exploit that knowledge, but I believe that understanding why others trigger is actually an opportunity for compassion and stronger personal relations.
The better that we can understand ourselves and others, then the higher are our chances to come together in peaceful  and equitable ways. Understanding that people do not behave the way that they behave for nothing allows space for unpacking and understanding and eventually compassion as well. However, in order to get to the root of a trigger, you must firstly be willing to take a very honest look at the emotion and feeling that it is attached to that trigger. 
Generally, people get annoyed and angry because they have perceived something to be unfair, but that definition of unfair could fall into a number of different emotions, and to able to identify any trigger properly, you have to be able to name the feeling that is associated with it first. When you find yourself triggered, or are in the presence of someone that is being triggered, try to identify which of these feelings is being conveyed:
I feel unheard.
I feel judged.
I don't feel good enough.
I don't feel worthy.
I feel left out.
I feel blamed.
I feel uncared for.
I feel unloved.
I feel controlled.
I feel betrayed.
I feel unimportant.
I feel disrespected. 
As I said, all of these emotions will make a person feel like something unfair or that some sort of injustice has occurred, but the emotions attached to them are varied and rooted in very different origins and will therefore require different levels of mediation or conversation for resolution. However, once you can identify the emotional link of your trigger, then you can start to identify its origin and why you are attached to that feeling, and this is the first step to healing and eventual release. 
Managing and identifying your triggers (and the triggers of others) is a process, one that requires patience and commitment, but it is such a powerful process and one that will develop a genuine understanding the self. Anything that allows you to let go of something that no longer serves you is never wasted and anything that can open a dialogue with the people around you that are feeling triggered is only going to further nurture your relationships  with them which is always going to be worthy work to undertake. 
So try a new method, try not to engage with your triggers, but rather try to practise identifying them. Name them, attach a genuine feeling to them and start to work out what it is that has created these feelings within you. As I said earlier, everyone has triggers, but some people are just a lot better at managing theirs, and you have the power to also be that person. 

Whenever I tell people that I have a website that is dedicated to reviewing movies they always ask me the same question - What's Your Favourite Movie of All Time? As a lover of movies, this is one of the hardest questions that I ever get asked because it is almost impossible to choose just one movie when I have seen and enjoyed so many.
There is a reason that I have a Hall of Fame page that is dedicated to movies that I gave 5 Chilli Peppers to, and that's because I find it so hard to compare movies from different genres against each other. If someone asks me what my favourite movie is, I usually respond with 'that depends on which genre you're talking about.'
If I could have the option of choosing a favourite in each genre, then I could definitely tell you my favourites without any trouble at all:
DRAMA: Manchester by the Sea
HORROR: Rosemary's Baby
SCIENCE FICTION: Interstellar
​WAR: Inglourious Basterds
SUPER: Avengers: Endgame
COMEDY: Snatch
CRIME/ACTION: No Country for Old Men
ART HOUSE: Youth
FOREIGN: The Great Beauty (La Grande Bellezza) 
FANTASY: The Lord of the Rings Trilogy
GRITTY: Melancholia
ROMANCE: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind 
KID FRIENDLY: Kubo and the Two Strings 

So why are these my favourite films when I have so many more listed on my Hall of Fame that are also 5 Chilli Peppers worthy? Well that's easy, these are the movies that I go back to time and time again and always enjoy them just as much as I did the first time that I watched them. All of them had an effect on me in one way or another and all of them left me pondering after I had seen them. I guess that I really don't have one favourite movie of all time, I actually have 13, which also happens to be my lucky number! 

One of the things that I do enjoy most about a mid-winter break is the ability to catch up on some late night viewing and couch potato antics without any guilty feelings whatsoever. Not having to get up and go to work in the morning allows me to indulge in the pleasure of watching entire seasons of television programs and back to back movies, and honestly it is just heaven. With a good strong coffee in hand, a couple of fluffed up pillows and a cosy blanket, I have managed to wonderfully while away many of my holiday evenings in front of the idiot box and I am more than happy to share my joyful at home viewing highlights with you, should you also wish to indulge in some quality lounge room viewing. 

As far as television goes, there has been no shortage of high quality, engaging programming to get completely lost in this year. I have watched a tonne of television this year, more than I ever have before and a lot of it has been of a really high standard as well. The best that I have seen and would highly recommend so far this year are: (in no particular order) 
Escape at Dannemora (Stan) - dramatisation
Sally 4Ever (HBO - Foxtel) - comedy
After Life (Netflix) - comedy drama
Les Miserables (BBC - Foxtel) - period drama
Game of Thrones - S8 (HBO - Foxtel) - fantasy drama
American Gods S2 (Amazon Prime) - fantasy drama
What We Do in the Shadows (FX - Foxtel) - horror comedy 
This Country (Stan) - comedy mockumentary 
Forever (Amazon Prime) - fantasy drama
Killing Eve s2 (ABC iview) - crime drama
The Last O.G. S2 (Stan) - comedy 
The Let Down S2 (ABC iview) - comedy 
Bad Omens (Amazon Prime) - fantasy drama
Detectorists S3 (ABC iview)  - comedy 
Gentleman Jack (HBO - Foxtel) - period drama
Bridget & Eamon (Amazon Prime) - comedy 
Euphoria (HBO - Foxtel) - drama
Chernobyl (HBO - Foxtel) - dramatisation 
The Act: Dee Dee and Gypsy Rose (Hulu - Foxtel) - dramatisation 
Perpetual Grace (Stan) - art house 
Big Little Lies S2 (HBO - Foxtel) - drama
Stranger Things S3 (Netflix)  - science fiction

To be honest, quality movies to view at home have been a little thinner on the ground, but it is often quite hard for me to find things that I haven't already seen on streaming channels because I go to the movies so often. Seth and I have been trawling through a lot of classic horror, which SBS on demand has an excellent selection of, should you need to sate a yearning for retro horror like The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Halloween, Hellraiser or Scanners. Aside from that Amazon Prime has the largest B grade horror library that I have ever encountered, admittedly it is mostly shit, but you can find the odd retro gem in there as well like Night of the Living Dead, Carrie,  Zombieland and the Friday the 13th Series. 
However, without further ado, here is a list of the best movies that I have watched on the couch (not at the cinema) this year so far: (again listed in no particular order)
Film Stars Don't Die in Liverpool - Netflix (Romance) 
It's Actually a Funny Story - Netflix (Drama)
Suspiria - Amazon Prime (Horror) 
Hush - Netflix (Horror) 
Tully - Netflix (Drama)
The Poughkeepsie Tapes - Stan (Gritty) 
Observance - Amazon Prime (Horror)
American Animals - Foxtel (Crime) 
I am Mother - Netflix (Sci-Fi) 
Pin Cushion - SBS on demand (Gritty) 
Mandy - Foxtel (Horror) 
Full reviews of all of these films can be found on the corresponding genre lists in the drop down menu above if you're looking for more information.
Happy viewing my friends! 

Spicywatch.com has just turned 5, hip hip hooray Spicywatch! Apart from my family and friends, I don't think that I have poured this much of my spare time and energy consistently into anything before, and for as long as I can remember, I don't feel like I have loved or enjoyed pouring my spare time into anything as much as I have loved sharing Spicywatch with all of you wonderful readers. 
Watching and reviewing movies is not just a hobby for me anymore, it is an important part of my life now. For five years I have shared my thoughts, my opinions and my passion for cinema with you all, and so far I have managed to review 790 movies that I honestly believe are worthy of your time and effort to view. I look forward to one day having 1,000 movies on my Spicywatch genre lists that are worthy of your time, but it will take me quite a few more years to get that far. 
Last nights celebrations were focused on the Best Music Moments in Cinema, which is a broad topic, but extremely fun one to investigate. Musicals were most welcome, but not mandatory, and as it turned out, there are actually a huge number of movies that have very significant and memorable music scenes in them that are actually completely non-musical movies. 
My wonderful and supportive friends and family gathered in Enfield to share a drink and their cinematic loves with me; and we laughed, sang and got our groove on to some of the most unexpected (but mostly excellent) musical moments that we could find.
And here is the extensive list of best music moments in cinema (from every genre) as chosen by my nearest and dearest, that made it to the Spicywatch 5th Birthday celebration screening in my living room last night:
Baby Driver (Bellbottoms) 
Pulp Fiction (You Never Can Tell) 
Beetlejuice (Banana Boat Song) 
The Skeleton Twins (Nothings Gonna Stop Us Now) 
Ferris Bueller's Day Off (Twist and Shout) 
Coraline (Garden Scene composed by Peter Corrigan) 
Pretty in Pink (If You Leave) 
The Perks of Being  a Wallflower (Heroes) 
Napoleon Dynamite (Canned Heat) 
Little Miss Sunshine (Super Freak)
Straight Outta Compton (Boyz N Da Hood) 
The Blues Brothers (Shake Your Tail Feather) 
Two Hands (These Days) 
American Psycho (Hip to be Square) 
The Lion King (Circle of Life) 
The Secret Life of Walter Mitty (Space Oddity) 
The Hunt for the Wilderpeople (Ricky's Birthday Song) 
Guardians of the Galaxy (Mr Blue Sky) 
Moulin Rouge (Come What May) 
Mean Girls (Jingle Bell Rock) 
Trainspotting (Lust for Life) 
Sound of Music (Edelweiss) 
Reservoir Dogs (Stuck in the Middle) 
O Brother Where Art Thou? (I Am a Man of Constant Sorrow)
Risky Business (Old Time Rock and Roll) 
Easy A (A Pocketful of Sunshine) 
The Mask (Cuban Pete)
Nacho Libre (Encarnacion) 
Hedwig and the Angry Inch (Origins of Love) 
The Big Lebowski (Just Dropped In) 
Pitch Perfect (Riff off) 
Purple Rain (Title Track) 
Love Actually (Jump) 
Bridesmaids (Hold on) 
Little Fish (Flame Trees) 
Slumdog Millionaire (Jai Ho)
Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (Anything Goes) 
Singing in the Rain (Title track)
And one of my all time favourites: Mulholland Drive (Llorando/ Crying) 

Nothing makes me feel more proud of myself than the moments in my life when I turn out to be the bigger person in a situation. Notice that I said the bigger person there and not the better person? Being bigger does not make you better, but it does make you kinder and more tolerant, not only to others but especially to yourself. Being better can make you faster, smarter and stronger, but it does not always make you bigger, in fact sometimes those qualities can actually shrink your ability to be bigger in certain situations. 
So what exactly do I mean when I say the bigger person? Well, in my opinion the bigger person is someone who can admit to their own faults, forgive others for theirs and move on gracefully from difficult situations or occurrences. Being the bigger person is a totally tough call, because when we are the bigger person we not only have to own our own shit, but we also have to forgive others for their shit as well and somehow find a space to move forward. Being bigger is always great in theory, but when you have to actually demonstrate it, it's a whole other ball game. 
For one, you have to fight off your own ego to be a bigger person. No-one wants to hear the bad stuff about themselves, it sucks and having someone else point it out is just torture. Most of us are well aware of our short comings and the last thing that any of us want is for someone else to point it out to us, especially in a blunt way. Bigger people can shake off the negative comments, search them, separate the bullshit from the truth, interpret the meaning behind it all and take anything valuable on board as an opportunity to evolve. Your ego cannot come into play if you want to be the bigger person, you have to take it in, process it, trash the crap and thrash the lesson. Bottom line is, it's hard. 
A bigger person never lets their emotions sit in the drivers seat when it comes to difficult situations or conflict resolutions. Bigger people keep it real, they don't get personal or petty and they stick to the facts. By only mentioning the things that are truths and steering away from assumptions, you're always going to come out as the bigger person. It takes skill to keep your emotions in check, learning to let things slide off you like water off a ducks back takes years of focused effort to master. I always try to remember that knee jerk reactions are for small minded people. Anytime that I have employed reactive behaviours in stressful situations in the past there has been nothing but carnage and I have always come off looking stupid, intolerant or just plain bitchy, and no one wants to be seen in that light. 
When you are the bigger person in the room during high stress situations, well it is something to be proud of, because it's a tough gig. Keeping yourself in check, not taking things personally and knowing that you shouldn't take things personally are incredibly good life skills to have in your tool kit. Every time that you can take one on the chin, own your own crap and move forward in a dignified way is definitely a sign that you're becoming a gentler, kinder and more well rounded person, and that is definitely something to be proud of. 

​CARNAGE
Release Date: 2011
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 80 mins 
When two sets of parents meet in a Brooklyn apartment to discuss the fight that their eleven year old boys had in the park, things go from civilised to downright manic rapidly. 
Directed by Roman Polanski, this black-comedy is based on the Tony Award winning play God of Carnage by French playwright Yasmina Reza. A stellar cast that includes Jodie Foster, Kate Winslet, Christoph Waltz and John C. Reilly really bring together all of the ugliness and viciousness of couples with children, played out in real time. 
No stone is left unturned as these four adults go head to head with each other with increasing levels of ferocity; displaying more childish behaviours than the children that they are meant to be discussing. All is stripped bare in this interesting and at times hilarious character study. 
FINAL SAY: Keep on stroking your ego. It's beautiful. 
3 Chilli Peppers

Regardless of how amicable, nice, funny, mindful, considerate or generous you are in this life, you are eventually going to come against someone that you just don't like. It may be someone that you're related to, or someone that you work with or someone that has come into your life because they are associated with another person that you know, and you are not going to like this person. They are going to grind your gears and irritate you, they are going to annoy you and because they now exist in your life, you may not always have the choice to avoid them. And this is where you need to employ your best diplomacy and intelligence, and just get along. 
Easier said than done though right? It is pretty hard to get along with someone that really ruffles your feathers and generally gives you the shits, but there are ways to get along, even in the face of great adversity. 
The first thing that you need to accept is that you are not going to like everyone, and also not everyone is  going to like you and that's totally OK. So OK in fact, that's it's practically perfect. Yep, that's right I said practically perfect. We all know that we do our best growing during our darkest times, so the people that we butt up against actually force us to grow in ways that we may not even recognise at the time. I have learnt more about myself through the people that I haven't liked than the ones that I have adored, and that is a fact. I may not want to go and have a BBQ with the people that I don't like, but I can recognise that these annoying individuals are triggering a very real and unpleasant reaction in me, which probably needs further investigation. 
Sometimes the people that annoy me the most are really just people that have very different ideas, points of view or social boundaries to me, which means that we could never really be great friends anyway, but that doesn't mean that I need to treat them like crap, that would be stupid and illogical. Tolerating people that you really don't like very much is a skill that intelligent people have mastered, and I have found in the past  that unintelligent people usually create their own dramas and demise anyway, so there is no need to engage anyone that annoys you any more than is absolutely necessary. 
When dealing with people that you don't like, you absolutely must have a terrific poker face, a really good and convincing one. A face that you can wear over the top of gritted teeth or clenched fists that makes you appear to be calm, open and diplomatic. This is you having self control over your emotions, not stooping to anyone elses levels of behaviour or adopting anyone else's body language; in short you appear to be neutral and in control of yourself. Adopting a good poker face and calm exterior will allow you to gain the upper hand over people that you don't like every time. And if they don't like you, well at least they won't be able to say that you treated them poorly at any point in your exchanges. Mastering your emotional reactions will help you to manage difficult or unpleasant people, even if you only appear that way on the surface, it's always worth doing. 
Sometimes the people that I find most annoying turn out to be people that I have just expected too much from. Just because you have yourself in check, that doesn't mean other people have as well. Expecting people to do as you do, or behave as you behave is just asking for trouble and will only lead to frustration and disappointment. Next time someone gets up your nose, check in and see what it is that you are expecting from them, odds are that it's more than they have the ability to deliver, so adjust your expectations and you'll find that you may not dislike the person as much as you thought that you did. 
And when all else fails and you just cannot stand someone that you have to deal with regularly, then just take a deep breathe, give yourself some space from them as much as you can and take some time to address what it is about that person that is triggering you off so much. Is it an isolated comment? An ongoing action? A lifestyle choice? Or is it just the way that they make you feel? Have you yourself contributed to the bad blood that you have with this person? Is it fixable? Whatever the reason, really analyse whether this person is worth all of the anxiety, stress and energy that you are giving to them. If you think that they are, then you need to take steps to clear the air and move forward in your relationship with them, if you think that they're irrelevant, then just keep that poker face going and get on with things. And always remember that you do not have to get along with everyone and that it's totally OK to find some people as annoying as hell. 

I have been truly blessed in this lifetime to have some of the most wonderful people imaginable in my life. My children, my partner, my family, my friends - I have really drawn the ace card when it comes to good people; and everyday of my life is better for knowing these people. During my final week of autumn vacation I was fortuitous enough to share some of my time with people that I love, appreciate, respect and adore most of all in this world, and nothing can make you feel more wealthy and fortunate than having incredible people in your life can. I have shared delightful breakfasts with dear friends, had delicious cake and coffee with quiet confidants, chatted and giggled on the phone for hours with family members that are too far away, and shared sumptuous long lunches with my closest family members. 
I even managed to squeeze in a trip to Queenscliff with some friends during the week. We hired motorized scooters and rode them along the Bellarine Rail Trail in the late afternoon, arriving at a coastal winery called Basil's Farm just as the sun was setting. We enjoyed some good wine, nibbles and even better company in the still of the early evening as we sat by the bay watching the sky change from blue to pink to purple. We happily took a few choice bottles of wine back to our accomodation to share and had a lovely evening of drinking and chatting. It was really nice to get away and enjoy some good company, a little salty air and a change of pace for a while. 
Easter was an extremely busy affair, with Craig's birthday tossed into the middle for good measure. Thank goodness Zoe came down from Geelong for a few days to help me manage all of the cooking and running around that is required to host an Easter feast for a dozen people. In the end, it all went off without a hitch and everyone left with full hearts and even fuller bellies. Now I have a fridge that is overstocked with leftovers, which means that I can take a load off for a couple of days as we work through our stockpile of food provisions, so the whole event was a win-win for me overall. 
Seriously though, I really cannot imagine what my life would be like without all of the wonderful people that I get to share it with, these people support me, raise me up and offer me refuge when I need it most of all. The people that you surround yourself with do give your life meaning and do make it more profound, enjoyable and abundant by just being present. There are a million things in this life that you can be successful at, and a billion more material things that you can collect or earn, but there will never be a greater or more meaningful thing to gather into your life than the love, respect and quality time that you get to share with your good friends and family; it is absolutely priceless.
When you really sit back and take stock of how many incredible people you have in your life, you very quickly realise how blessed you truly are and how much meaning your life truly has. It isn't what we have that makes our lives meaningful, it is who we have in it that makes it more meaningful, so surround yourself with the most wonderful people that you can and get the best out of your life every day, because you deserve to. 

I love going to the movies or sitting down to watch a film and finding a hidden gem. Sometimes I get the most delightfully unexpected surprise from a movie that I wasn't expecting it from, and I just love it when that happens, it really spins my tyres! And it really doesn't happen as often as I would like, a lot of the time when I leave a cinema or get off the couch after a movie I am left with a rather underwhelmed kind of a feeling or even worse, I start to contemplate the hours that I just wasted and will never get back again!
Life is way too short to waste reading bad books, watching poor movies and wasting your precious and valuable free time having mediocre experiences. Especially cinematic ones, after all that's why you have me! I've already found heaps of hidden gems for you, so you can just relax and enjoy the movies that I consider to be the best (and unmissable) hidden gems that you may have accidentally missed or overlooked.
Now, don't feel bad about it, people actually miss a lot of top quality viewing experiences all of the time because smaller and independent movies just get squashed by blockbuster movies, and most people just aren't going to the movies to see small budget or independent films. They also aren't going to the cinema half as much as I am either I would imagine, so it's more than likely that you've missed some of these rippers along the way, not through any fault of your own, but just from a lack of exposure; but never fear....I've got your back!
In no particular order (and remember that my full reviews of these films are on their genre lists if you want more information), here are my top 20 picks for hidden gem movies that you may have missed: 

1. The One I Love (Romance) 
2. Don Jon (Drama)
3. The Cabin in the Woods (Horror)
4. The Only Lovers Left Alive (Art House)
5. Short Term 12 (Drama)
6. A Ghost Story (Art House)
7. Wind River (Drama)
8. Once (Foreign/Romance)
9. Calvary (Art House/Foreign)
10. Moon (sci-fi)
11. Ingrid Goes West (Drama)
12. Son of Rambow (Comedy)
13. Sightseers (Foreign) 
14. In the Mood for Love (Foreign)
15. Young Adult (Drama)
16. Beautiful Boy (Drama)
17. Me and Earl and the Dying Girl (Drama)
18. Youth (Drama)
19. The Fall (Fantasy)
20. The Grand Seduction (Comedy)

I have only been back at work for two days and I have already found my number one hidden gem movie of the year! How good is that? And when you are as movie obsessed as I am and constantly thirsting for quality entertainment, then that is something to get happy about!

Freshly back in Australia from our adventures in New Zealand, and what adventures we all had! I can honestly say that our family trip to New Zealand was one of the best trips that I have ever had overseas and now I am already keen to return and check out the New Zealand South Island as well.
The Gods truly blessed our trip and we had terrific and mostly mild weather for the entire duration, all of our Airbnb accommodations were even better than we had anticipated them to be and we managed to fit in everything that we had planned to do (and then some) without a hitch or a glitch along the way. And trust me when I say that we did plenty whilst we were there.
We only spent one night in Auckland before hitting the road for the Waitomo Caves to do the 'Black Labyrinth' glow-worm cave tour. This tour required us to don a wetsuit and caving gear, carry a flotation tube into the depths of the earth and then navigate ourselves through the uneven and dark terrain to see the glow worms that line the roof and walls of the caves. No-one told me that this tour would require me to leap backwards off waterfalls into water of an unknown depth in the dark whilst we were in the caves, if they had've I probably would've chickened out and then missed out on what turned out to be three of the funnest and most exhilarating hours of our entire trip.
For all of the initial fear, there was a tonne of fun to be had in those caves, and our guides were really helpful and knowledgeable and certainly  alleviated all of our concerns very quickly. The glow-worms are really dazzling and floating about in the dark water surrounded by their intense blue light is a pretty magical  and once in a lifetime experience.
We spent the next few days indulging in all of the exciting opportunities that Rotorua and the surrounding areas had to offer us. Which included a tour of Hobbiton (which made us all gung-ho to re-watch the trilogy again), a ride on a skyline gondola, some downhill luging, ziplining through the forests, kayaking on Lake Rotorua, zorbing (not for me thanks!), a Maori interactive experience and hangi (cooked in coals under the earth) dinner, a trip to see the thermal geysers and hot pools, a visit to a wildlife park to see a kiwi up close and personal (turns out that they are nocturnal birds, which I did not realise until I went to see one) and we also celebrated Seth's 14th birthday as well!
For the five days that we spent in Rotorua we stayed on the lake in a home owned by a movie lover like myself, which meant unlimited access to thousands of DVD's and also included a hot-tub, a daily visit from the resident swans and around an acre of immaculately landscaped gardens to explore, tough going I know, but someone had to do it!
From Rotorua we headed to the largest lake in New Zealand, Lake Taupo. Lake Taupo is large enough to fit Singapore inside of it! No shit, it's really that big! We went out on a yacht to take a look because there are some incredible Maori carvings out there that can only be reached by boat, and even though we sailed on the lake for the entire morning, we only saw around 6% of it. It has it's own horizon for goodness sake, it is absolutely massive! We had a lovely couple of days chilling out and enjoying our final days of lake life at Taupo. 
From there we headed down to our final destination of the trip, Wellington. The home of the vampires from What We Do in the Shadows and the city that Wellington Paranormal (one of my personally favourite TV shows) is based on. We stayed on the edge of the North Island in a flashy modern beach house that shares its neighbourhood with Peter Jackson. We kept our eyes open for any sign of him, but sadly he wasn't anywhere to be seen.
However, we did get to see a seal which was lazily sunning itself and hopping into the sea for a cool down swim off the rocks just across the road from our accommodation, which absolutely chuffed me! I haven't observed a large wild animal (without a handler) doing whatever it likes that close up before, usually you have to pay for those kinds of experiences, it was a real treat. There were also penguin nesting boxes there as well, but I think that the seal may have scared them away, so we didn't get to see them in action, but apparently they do cross the road regularly in that area because our Airbnb host told us to watch out for them. 
The coastline provided us with plenty of opportunities to collect abalone shells (paua shells), observe starfish and native sea life in the rock pools and also swim and snorkel. Our (I say our, but really it was mine) main priority whilst we were in Wellington was to visit the Weta Caves, which is a treasure trove of movie memorabilia and special effects information for movie geeks like me. I got a some great shots with the cave trolls from The Hobbit whilst I was there. And then in Wellington central we rode the city Cable Car to the peak of the city and strolled the botanical gardens taking in the incredible views and local flora. 
Fair to say that we were kept pretty busy, but it was a joyful level of busy. There was still ample time for sleeping in, eating out, shopping, meandering, meditating, late night movies and generally lollygagging in an awe-struck fashion at the incredible mountainous and green landscapes that we constantly engaged as we traversed the island. I have some incredible photographs of the amazing and altering terrain, it was so lush and made Australia look even more flat, arid and dry than I remembered it being when we left ten days ago, but I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't glad to be home again, because we all know that there is no place like home. 
Would I recommend a trip to the New Zealand North Island? Hell yes I would! Our family trip was worth every cent that we spent on it, we all had the best time in New Zealand and now we have a lifetime of memories of our time together to enjoy forever. It has been an unforgettable summer vacation  for us all.

That time has rolled around again, the time for me to collate all of my viewing efforts and put forward my recommendations for the best viewing choices of 2018. As I have mentioned before, quality television really dominated my time this year and I gave more 5 Chilli Pepper ratings to TV series than I gave to movies this year. To be honest, overall I do feel that the quality of movies this year was not as strong as it was in 2017, and I feel like I watched a lot more mediocre movies than I did last year as well, but sometimes that happens. 
In total I viewed 253 movies in 2018 and 133 TV series (some of which had several seasons). I have watched programs across every genre, and I can honestly say that there were excellent offerings in all of those genres in both movies and television. This year I am not going to list my least favorite viewings for 2018 because I have made myself a new years resolution to be more positive and to not focus on the negative things, so to list the worst things I saw in 2018 would be counterproductive to that resolution. Besides, as I have said before, even if I didn't love it, doesn't mean that someone else won't or that it is rubbish. At the end of the day, even the movies that we don't really enjoy have required a lot of time, money and effort to be produced; to shit on someone else's dream or vision is a pretty lousy thing to do, so I am choosing not to go there. 
I hope that you find something on these lists that you have not seen yet and can hopefully now explore. For full reviews of all of the recommended movies below, just go to the appropriate genre tab at the top of the page.
So without any further ado, here are my TOP MOVIE CHOICES (2018 release):  

• ROMA - Foreign 4.5 Chilli Peppers
• Hereditary - Horror 4.5 Chilli Peppers 
• Beautiful Boy - Drama 4.5 Chilli Peppers 
• Isle of Dogs - Kid Friendly 4.5 Chilli Peppers
• BlacKkKlannsman  - Drama 4 Chilli Peppers 
• A Star in Born - Romance 4 Chilli Peppers 
• The Tale - Gritty 4 Chilli Peppers 
• Paddington 2 - Kid Friendly 4 Chilli Peppers 
• Avengers: Infinity War -  Super 4 Chilli Peppers 
• The Ballad of Buster Scruggs - Art House 4 Chilli Peppers 
• Upgrade - Science Fiction/ Action 4 Chilli Peppers  
• John Leguizamo: Latin History for Morons - Documentary 4 Chilli Peppers 

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

• A Quiet Place - Sci-Fi/ Horror 3.5 Chilli Peppers
• Annihilation - Sci-Fi 3.5 Chilli Peppers
• Black Panther - Super 3.5 Chilli Peppers
• Ready Player One - Fantasy 3.5 Chilli Peppers
• The Breaker Upperers - Comedy 3.5 Chilli Peppers
• Searching - Crime 3.5 Chilli Peppers
• Game Night - Comedy 3.5 Chilli Peppers
• Love, Simon - Romance 3.5 Chilli Peppers
• Bohemian Rhapsody - Drama 3.5 Chilli Peppers
• Blockers - Comedy 3.5 Chilli Peppers

Here are my top recommendations for pre- 2018 releases that I didn't see until 2018: 

• Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri - Drama 5 Chilli Peppers (Hall of Fame)
• Bright Star - Romance 4.5 Chilli Peppers
• Wind River - Drama 4 Chilli Peppers
• Good Time - Drama 4 Chilli Peppers 
• The Shape of Water - Fantasy 4 Chilli Peppers 
• Coco - Kid Friendly 4 Chilli Peppers 
• Mudbound - Drama 4 Chilli Peppers
• Call Me by Your Name  - Romance 4 Chilli Peppers 
• Ingrid Goes West - Drama 4 Chilli Peppers 
• Beasts of No Nation - Gritty 4 Chilli Peppers 
• The Tunnel - Foreign 4 Chilli Peppers 

BEST TELEVISION SERIES of 2018: 

• Master of None S2 - Comedy/ Drama 5 Chilli Peppers 
• One Strange Rock - Documentary 5 Chilli Peppers
• Atlanta S2 - Drama 5 Chilli Peppers
• Sharp Objects - Crime 5 Chilli Peppers
• Patrick Melrose - Drama 5 Chilli Peppers
• Kidding - Drama 4.5 Chilli Peppers
• Who is America? - Comedy/ Documentary 4.5 Chilli Peppers
• Here and Now - Drama 4.5 Chilli Peppers
• Maniac - Sci-Fi 4.5 Chilli Peppers
• Lemony Snicket's a Series of Unfortunate Events S2 - Fantasy/ Kid Friendly 4.5 Chilli Peppers 
• Mosaic - Crime 4 Chilli Peppers
• The End of the Fucking World S1 - Crime 4 Chilli Peppers
• Dirk Gently S2 - Fantasy 4 Chilli Peppers
• Barry S1 - Crime/ Drama 4 Chilli Peppers
• AHS - Apocalypse - Horror 4 Chilli Peppers
• Mr Inbetween - Crime 4 Chilli Peppers
• Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat - Documentary 4 Chilli Peppers
• Just Another Immigrant - Comedy  4 Chilli Peppers
• Mr Mercedes S1 - Crime  4 Chilli Peppers
• Wanderlust - Drama  4 Chilli Peppers
• The Miracle - Foreign  4 Chilli Peppers
• Anne with an E S2 - Drama 4 Chilli Peppers

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

• Britannia S1 - Fantasy 3.5 Chilli Peppers 
• Ash vs Evil Dead S3 - Horror/ Comedy 3.5 Chilli Peppers 
• Swedish Dicks S2 - Comedy/ Crime 3.5 Chilli Peppers 
• Future Man - Sci-Fi/Comedy 3.5 Chilli Peppers 
• GLOW S2 - Drama 3.5 Chilli Peppers 
• The Detectorists S2 - Comedy/ Drama 3.5 Chilli Peppers 
• Sabrina the Teenage Witch - Horror 3.5 Chilli Peppers 
• Wellington Paranormal - Horror/Comedy 3.5 Chilli Peppers 
• The Kominsky Method - Drama/ Comedy 3.5 Chilli Peppers 

In life we are presented with a never ending stream of opportunities. Opportunities to meet new people and experience new things, opportunities to evolve and unfold as a person and opportunities to change your way of life or your way of thinking. These opportunities come to us every single day, and sometimes we don't even recognise them for what they are because we are too busy or distracted to see what we are being presented with. 
This time of the year in particular is so consuming; consuming of our time, our money and often our patience as well as we scramble toward Christmas, hanging all of our hopes on the day that our holidays begin or that special day when we get to celebrate with our family and friends. We become so fixated on arriving at our destination (which isn't happening for another month yet mind you) that we completely forget to look around and embrace any new opportunities that may be arriving, and we certainly don't make the most out of everyday of the festive season along the way. This happens every year, and I write about it every year because I see it happening to people all around me every year. For some reason we just don't allow ourselves to enjoy things completely in the lead up to Christmas and I am beginning to think that we have all been programmed to do this, and it really has to stop. 
Now don't get me wrong, I do really enjoy Christmas, I am not Scrooge for goodness sake! However, I do feel like people lose focus of what is important at this time of the year and hold themselves to ransom, often sacrificing huge amounts of money, time and energy which they invest into just one day of the year. A day that comes and goes without nearly as much fuss required as we feel compelled to throw at it in my opinion. What about the next 30 days leading up to Christmas? Don't we deserve to enjoy the ride, the countdown and the anticipation with a bit of joy as well? Damn straight we do! We totally need to stop and smell the flowers along the way, indulge in the lead up to the day and seize any new opportunities along the way to Christmas day, but often we just don't. 
The pressure to deliver a so called 'perfect' Christmas quite frankly has balls on it! The best Christmas's that I have ever had were really quiet events spent with my nearest and dearest in total relaxation. I cannot tell you how much stress I have put myself under for Christmas events in the past, and for what? I've spent hours stressing about whether people would be happy with their gifts or not and then barely received a thank you when the gifts were actually opened. I have spent hours slaving away in the kitchen trying to cook for a tribe of people and then had people only point out what they didn't like about the meal when it was over. I can even recall Christmas' where my own family have made me feel completely unwelcomed at Christmas events, and it honestly made me realise that none of it is worth it. 
The build up, the expectation to deliver, the need to perform, blah! Who needs all that? That is the complete opposite of what Christmas is about in my mind, and I think that so many people are getting it all wrong. Why not take some pressure off yourself this year and seize an opportunity to look around at what is really going on. Be honest with yourself, are you really embodying the Christmas spirit or are you just ticking off some stupid 'to do' list that you feel compelled to complete that has nothing to do with love or generosity or kindness, or bloody Christmas spirit for that matter!
Let's get this into perspective. In a nutshell, gifts at Christmas are a bonus, and should never be an expectation unless you are under 10. Kids get to expect Christmas gifts, adults need to be happy with whatever they bloody well get and should not sook or bitch about it because  it's petty and it's mean to look any gift horse in the mouth, especially if you have enough money to buy yourself whatever you want anyway, which is often the case with the biggest whiners. Keep gifts small and thoughtful and never let yourself get frazzled when selecting gifts for people, remember that it is the thought that counts and anyone that thinks otherwise is an asshole! 
The Christmas food on the day should be special but also simple and it should never be too labour intensive because no-one wants to be chained to the kitchen on Christmas day, it's cruel. And people please, think about your food quantities and don't over do it. Creating days of leftovers is hardly 'good will' toward the planet, it is Christmas dinner, not a 'feed the world' campaign and therefore the amount of food doesn't need to increase. Remember that sometimes less is more, and a delicious simple meal with a couple of special additions always works best in my opinion, so don't freak yourself trying to make a 10 course extravaganza, it's not worth the hassell. 
Decorating before Christmas should be a joyous thing to indulge in, something that the whole family can do together which will also take the pressure off one person being responsible for 'doing' the tree and making things festive. Small accents are enough, you don't need to go all 'flashing lights on the house' crazy to feel like you're bringing the Christmas spirit into your home. Effective natural decorations and Christmas accents can be as basic as a few sprigs of evergreen and a couple of pinecones from outside; so damn simple and also free!
So, how are you going to spend your time in the lead up to Christmas this year? Freaking out or chilling out? Seizing and embracing new opportunities or completely oblivious to anything else because you've got your Christmas 'to do' list to perform and come hell or high water you're gonna get it done? Well, essentially the choice is your own, but I know that I'm not gonna sweating the small stuff this year, that's for sure. I'm on the lookout for fun, frivolity and opportunities to enjoy every day leading up Christmas day and every day after that as well!

Every now and then someone will call me out on a review that I have done on a movie or a blog post that I have made; and if you are going to put your opinions on the internet, then you have expect that people are going to give their opinions back to you as well.  Total strangers, friends and even family members will point out how they didn't like what I wrote on my blog or point out how wrong I was about a certain movie that was at least one Chilli Pepper hotter or 3 Chilli Peppers colder than I had implied that it was, and I think that a lot them really enjoy sharing their own verdict or opinion on a topic that I have raised or a review that I have posted.
I am not sure whether people are hoping that I will kick off in response to their adverse reactions to my writings, but I can say with complete honesty that I don't mind at all if you disagree with my opinions. You do not have to agree with me, it would be completely weird if you did. I do not claim to be 'the God of all movie knowledge', I am not even close to being an expert in cinema, I am just a movie enthusiast that likes to write, and that is where my expertise ends. Sure I have seen a lot of movies, but there are still millions of movies that I haven't seen, and as for my opinions, well they're just that, opinions not facts or truths to be adopted and set into action, they are merely my opinions, nothing more and nothing less than that. 
Is it actually really great to hear that people don't agree with me. I love to hear about other people's experiences of the movies that they have seen, and that is one of the things that is so damn terrific about cinema, it is completely subjective. Like any expression of art, one person's trash is another person's treasure, and cinema is no different from that in any way. We may agree sometimes, never, seldom or often, it matters not to me one way or another. Make your own mind up about the movies that I review, see them for yourself, be discerning and be disagreeable, I welcome all opinions and you never have to agree with me. 
Cinematic experiences are unique and completely individual to everyone. They can be affected by your mood, your interest level in the subject, your wellbeing, your personal experiences, your tolerance levels and even your level of alertness when you enter a cinema. There are millions of factors at play when a person decides to squat for a couple of hours to watch a film, and I wouldn't dare to assume that my experiences would be in sync with anyone elses for even half of that time. 
Nope, I don't mind if you don't agree with me. In fact, I am ecstatic to hear the opinions of other cinephiles, it is a comfort to know that other people feel as passionately about their movie experiences as I do. I would never stifle  your disagreement of my comments, I welcome them and appreciate every one of my loyal readers opinions, even when they are completely opposed to mine. Please do keep up all of the comments and the conversations about movies with me, I am always happy to receive feedback and those of you that know me well, know that I will never get enough cinema related chatter in my life, so please do share your thoughts with me. 

THE SKIN I LIVE IN
Release Date: 2011
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 120 mins 
A Spanish psychological thriller, written and directed by Pedro Almodóvar.  Almodóvar has described the film as "a horror story without screams or frights" which is an accurate description. Although The Skin I Live In can't really be regarded as horror, there are certainly plenty of horrific goings on that will seriously mess with your head. 
A regarded plastic surgeon that is plagued by misfortune, creates a wonderful new type of skin that is impervious to damage. His human guinea pig and private obsession is a woman named Vera, a mysterious beauty that resides as a prisoner in his house. 
Antonio Banderas does a brilliant job of portraying the Dr. Frankenstein like surgeon Ledgard, and Elena Anaya is painfully beautiful as his subject, Vera. This movie has all of the elements of a great psychological thriller; devious plot twists, intensely interesting and esoteric characters and plenty of back story. However, because it crosses so many lines it also induces disgust and revulsion, albeit in the most stylish fashion, and for that reason it will not be to everyone's liking. If you can handle the kink levels turned up to high pitch, then you should enjoy the ride. 
FINAL SAY: I breathe. I breathe. I breathe. 
3 Chilli Peppers ​

No matter how much a well meaning parent or caring mentor may try to arm you with the goods to make the best out of the life that you have been given, there are some things that you just have to learn and find out for yourself. No amount of good advise or pep talking can ever provide you with the smarts that you will get from actually finding something out for yourself through sheer effort, life experience, perseverance and/ or a good splash of stupidity. 
​I have never met anyone that has been able to give me the ability to be strong or to be happy. I have met people that have inspired me to be stronger and happier, but the real work on those fronts comes from within. Strength can only be gained by facing life's adversities and overcoming fears. The strongest people that I know are the ones who have fallen the most in their lifetimes, and that strength is learned and cultivated over time. Everyone's strength and what they derive it from is unique, it is not a torch that can passed along to another. Strength cannot be taught, only demonstrated, and the same goes for happiness.
Everyone must learn to be happy, it isn't something that you can buy or earn, its far more esoteric than that. It is something that you either have or you don't have, it is a state of mind and therefore being truly happy is something that you must learn to do on your own. It is something that you have to choose, even in the face of great adversity, and no one else can give you the minerals to do that. Being truly happy, in spite of life's adversities or suffering is a real skill, and it's one that you have to master yourself. 
However, strength and happiness are not the only things that you must learn to master alone, let's not forget two of the toughest things that you will have to learn in this life, how to forgive and how to love. The saying 'the heart wants what the heart wants' certainly has some truth to it. You cannot make your heart feel what it doesn't want to feel, and learning to love others and yourself unconditionally is an exceptionally difficult challenge and something that people spend many lifetimes trying to learn to do well. Learning to love and willingly give over of yourself without restriction is not easy, and again like all things that you cannot learn from someone else, from a book or just purchase online; it is unique, emotional and challenging to master. 
I think that the art of forgiveness may well be the most difficult of all things that you will have to learn on your own. Being hurt is part of life and it is natural to have your feelings crushed or your hopes dashed by difficult people or even worse, the people that you care about or love the most. But learning that forgiveness can set you free and release you from potential hard-heartedness is something that you simply have to learn to do on your own. No-one can make you forgive another, or tell you to forgive another, you must do it yourself, when you are ready, and where and when that forgiveness happens is yours alone to determine. 
There is no manual for the toughest lessons, and there is no way to give a person true strength or happiness, or the ability to love and forgive. The best that anyone can ever do to instill these qualities in another is to work hard to master them themselves, so that they can at least be a good role model. However in saying that, I do believe that these skills are lifelong endeavours and certainly not something that you can master easily or quickly, and to imply that they are easily managed would be both flippant and ridiculous.
Everyone knows that all of the best fruit on the 'tree of life' is hanging out on the furthest limbs, it is tricky to reach and even harder to pluck, but it is there to be seen nonetheless. There is nothing wrong with forging forward, staying the course and continuing to learn with an open mind and a willingness to go the hard yards alone; and even if you don't ever fully learn to master the hardest lessons that you are expected to manage on your own, you won't ever regret trying. 

One of the biggest obstacles that I have faced in my Transcendental Meditation (TM) practises so far has been the relinquishing of my power to control everything, to accept and just let go. Learning to accept all of the aspects of my life and work from a place of non-judgement is not as easy as it may seem and it does require a certain shedding of old habits to make room for new pathways and states of being to generate.
The further that I delved into the inner workings of my own mind (a labyrinth of unchartered territory exists in there I can assure you), the more aware that I am becoming of the layers of hidden anger and hurt that I have shoved down over the years. This anger has manifested itself in so many ways in my life in the past. It has been a merciless beast that has stood in the path of my own happiness, manifesting itself in unpleasant ways through my fear, boredom, ill-will, judgement and criticism. TM is forcing me to challenge those old ways and thought patterns, and it is creating a space for me to 'turn straw into gold.' 
Just like the maiden that is locked in a room and forced to spin straw into gold in the fairytale Rumpelstiltskin, we too have the ability to use our problems and old default modes to discover a true inner wisdom, peace and love. In his book A Path With Heart, Jack Kornfield discusses this exact topic and the ways in which we can overcome these apparent obstacles to uncover a better and higher way of thinking.
It is perfectly normal to have and feel all of these emotions, even the most adept yogis and zen masters in the world still have a myriad of these emotions, they don't just cease to exist because you have found your enlightenment. All emotional states are an integral part of living and they are vital to our growth and development as a whole being. It is not the emotion itself that even matters, it is the way in which we approach these thoughts and feelings that determines how much energy we are willing to invest in them and whether we view them as either straw or gold. 
Think of of it in terms of this ancient and extremely wise tale about a poisoned tree. On discovering the poisoned tree, some people immediately saw it as a threat and exclaimed that it should be cut down at once and destroyed. 'Burn it as well', they demanded, 'so that no more seeds can ever grow again and no-one will ever eat the fruit of the poisoned tree'. This reaction resembles our initial response to the difficulties that arise in our lives, when we encounter aggression, compulsion, greed, or fear, when faced with stress, loss, conflict, depression or sorrow in ourselves or others, our initial response is to avoid, destroy and remove the threat. 
Other people, who may have journeyed further along in life will discover the poisoned tree and have no aversion to it at all. They know you must remain open to all things in this life. They will say, 'do not cut this tree down. Instead let's have compassion for the tree'. They will build a fence around the tree so that it may keep its life and so that others may not be poisoned by it. This approach shows a profound shift of relationship from judgement and fear to compassion. 
And then there is a third type of person, who has travelled even further in life and has much vision and thought, and when they see the same poisoned tree they will exclaim 'Oh! A poisoned tree, perfect! Just what I was looking for'. This individual will pick the poisoned fruit off the tree and investigate its properties, mix it with a bunch of other ingredients and then use the poison as a great medicine to heal the sick and transform the ills of the world. Through respect, intelligence and an understanding that even from great adversity comes wonderful opportunity, this person will find value even in the most difficult of circumstances. This last person has mastered the art of making straw into gold, and we all have the opportunity to become that person by considering the way in which we meet our disappointments, obstacles, challenges and heartaches. 
Through deepening my ability to listen to my inner self (mind, body and spirit), I am becoming more and more aware of my own negative reactions and feelings, as well as my positive ones. I am slowly learning that no state is any more or less valuable than any other, and that all aspects of life and living are valuable and precious. I am trying to learn the art of making straw into gold, and although it is going to take me a long time to learn to do that really well, I am learning none-the-less; which means that I am on a path of self discovery.
That fact alone, is much more than I could have ever hoped TM would offer to me. I have been very fortunate to be able to have the time to embark on this experiment of the soul and it is pretty safe to say that I will be continuing my practises. At this point I would also happily recommend a regular meditation practice (of any type, not just TM)  to everyone,  because we all need to get a little better at making straw into gold and nurturing ourselves. 

In life we are constantly faced with a series of choices and decisions. Some of those choices are simplistic and really don't require any deep thinking on our behalf, they are the no-brainer choices that we make everyday on autopilot, mundane things like 'what will I have for breakfast today, toast or cereal?' And other times the decisions that lay ahead of us are profoundly life altering, and making a choice one way or another can seriously alter the way that our lives will play out. 
There is nothing that any of us can do to avoid facing the fork in the road from time to time. Sometimes we feel ready to make changes and we are happy to discover a crossroad up ahead, and then other times we feel completely ill equipped to choose any of the roads that we are presented with; but the roads rise up to meet us nonetheless and in turn force us to decide our fate.
With decision making (like all choices) there are consequences, and we all want to avoid any bad ones as much as we can and carry our choices with us for the long haul. We all need to be able to live with our decisions, but sometimes things are not as clear cut as we would like them to be and we can find ourselves tossing around in bed at night, anguishing over the 'what ifs' and 'why did I's' that life sometimes dishes out to us. 
So, how do you live with the bad choices that you've made? How do you move on from a poor decision or a dreadful consequence? Well, you just do really, because you have to. It's either that or let it eat away at you until you are just a big ball of anxiety and self loathing and no-one wants to be either of those things. But living with the decisions that you make, good or bad, is certainly easier said than done, and I am yet to meet anyone that doesn't have any regrets about some of the choices that they have made in their past.
And I guess that there is something seriously comforting in that knowledge; that all of us do have regrets and that all of us do make mistakes from time to time. And just knowing that it is okay to do stupid things, say stupid things and make horrific mistakes from time to  time and then put them behind us and move on with our lives is good stuff to know. It's one thing that we all have in common, and in accepting our flaws, faults and mistakes, we can better accept the flaws, faults and mistakes of others as well. It's all part of the process of finding the whole self and getting a little better at 'life-ing.'
However, that being said, I do believe that one should always try to avoid making horrific choices as often as possible as well. Just because we all make mistakes doesn't mean that we should all throw caution to the wind making decisions without thought or in disregard to all consequence. Quite the opposite really, I believe that all choices should be made mindfully and purposefully; with longevity, community and humility always being at the forefront of any choice. An extra day of pondering can allow a lifetime of regret to become a lifetime of happiness, and that is certainly something to consider.
I once read that you should never make decisions when you're angry or elated because neither are sustainable feelings, and I do think that most of the bad choices that I have made in my life were generally during either my angry or elated moments. So I think that there is definitely some sound advice to be found in that little slice of wisdom, and any advice that can leads us to a guilt free, calm and settled lifestyle is good advice in my eyes.
​Even though there is no magic formula when it comes to the best life choices, just remember to always sleep on any big decisions and never allow yourself to feel rushed or pressed to make a big life decision. As for the little stuff, let that shit go, if it isn't going to matter in six months from now, then it isn't worth losing sleep over, let it slide off you like water off a duck's back. And anything that happened more than six months ago is well and truly over, so make peace with your mistakes, own them, learn from them and move on knowing that you just got a little bit better. 

As much as we want everything to remain somewhat logical in our lives, we do have to make peace with the reality of our lives as well, and that means that we need to be able to accept that some things just won't make any sense. In life, there will be many unanswered questions, confusing interludes, incomplete stories and unsolvable dilemmas, and that is just the tip of the iceberg, because essentially life is just one big mystery and for that reason, some parts of it are not going to make any sense at all; not even a bit. Some parts of your life will be downright frustrating and annoying and absolutely illogical and no matter how much you ponder it, it just won't make any sense. 
And there is absolutely nothing wrong with things not making sense or 'adding-up' in our lives, it should be expected a little more often if you ask me because it happens to us all from time to time. However, learning to accept that some things just won't make any sense and may not ever be properly resolved or understood can be extremely challenging for many of us. Knowing that some things just won't make sense and accepting that some things just won't make sense are not that same thing, and people get into all sorts of bother when they cannot accept when things aren't balancing out with their expectations or ideals.
We all like to imagine that our lives are pretty linear and that we have a certain amount of control over how things will play out for us. We also all get a bit excited about the prospect of a happy ending, a tidy resolution or a big box with a bow that we can pop things into and forget about until we are ready to pull them back out again; but in truth, life rarely allows for things to be that organized and logical, we just like to give ourselves the illusion that it does because it feels a shitload safer and saner than admitting that a lot of the time things just don't make any sense. 
Now I know that some people are going to disagree with me on this topic, claiming that there is always a reason for everything and that nothing just happens without there being a bigger or higher purpose to it all; and to those people I say bullshit!  You can believe whatever you want, but trust me when I tell you that not everything that happens in life occurs for a reason. A whole lot of shit that happens (and will happen to you in life) is utterly purposeless, pointless, meaningless and inconsequential, it is just stuff that happens that doesn't make sense and it doesn't need to. You don't need to fix it, you don't need to stay up late at night deconstructing it, you just have to accept it. It is that simple. Rather than adopting some privileged 'everything happens for a reason' mantra, what you really need to adopt  is the smarts to recognise what you can control in this life and what you cannot. What is worth your time and what is not and what needs fixing and what just needs to be accepted.
One of the greatest challenges that we are presented with in this life is learning to accept that some chapters in our lives have to close without any real closure at all and that no matter how many hours we may pour into some puzzles, the truth is that they were never actually made to be solved in the first place. Some things just won't make sense and nothing that we do, will ever make that truth any different and all that you have to do is accept that fact and get on with living your life. 

Sometimes we want to watch simple movies that follow a pretty linear storyline and allow us to zone out or forget about our troubles. And then other times we want to watch something challenging, deep and meaningful; something a bit grittier that we can really sink our teeth into. Sometimes I really hunger for a movie that will challenge my thinking, push me out of my comfort zone or educate me in some way. If I come away from a film with a fresh perspective or some kind of new learning about a certain topic then I feel particularly pleased with my viewing choice. 
I have heard people refer to these influential and affecting movies as 'movies that matter' but it is pretty irrelevant what title you want to give them, it is what you take away from these movies that make them genuinely important and relevant. These movies can occur in any genre, and they are the types of movies that stick with you long after the credits have stopped rolling. They are not always 5 Chilli Peppers (Hall of Fame) material because they are not always easy to watch or easy to recommend to other people to watch because in short, they are not just another movie, they are 'an experience.' And there are some exceptionally good ones out there that I believe that everyone should see at least once in their lifetime. 
Here is a list of 20 movie experiences (in no particular order) that had a profound effect on me when I saw them for the first time, and although they may not all be 5 Chilli Peppers, they are most definitely important, relevant, thought provoking and absolutely worth seeing.

1. Mother! - Challenging/ Art House/ Gritty (4.5 Chilli Peppers)
2. The White Helmets - Documentary (4 Chilli Peppers)
3. Born into Brothels - Documentary (4 Chilli Peppers) 
4. Samson and Delilah - Challenging/Drama (4 Chilli Peppers)
5. Requiem for a Dream - Gritty/ Drama (4 Chilli Peppers)
6. The Thin Red Line - War (4.5 Chilli Peppers)
7. Into the Abyss - Documentary (4 Chilli Peppers)
8. Bowling for Columbine - Documentary (4.5 Chilli Peppers) 
9. An Inconvenient Truth Pt 1 and Pt 2 - Documentary (3.5 Chilli Peppers)
10. Apocalypse Now - War (4.5 Chilli Peppers)
11. Dead Man Walking - Gritty/Crime/ Drama (4.5 Chilli Peppers)
12. The Elephant Man - Challenging/ Drama (4.5 Chilli Peppers) 
13. Melancholia - Art House (5 Chilli Peppers)
14. The Great Beauty - Foreign/ Drama (5 Chilli Peppers) 
15. A Ghost Story - Art House ( 4.5 Chilli Peppers) 
16. 20,000 Days on Earth - Art House/ Documentary (3.5 Chilli Peppers) 
17. Downfall - Foreign/ War (4 Chilli Peppers)
18. Baraka and Samsara - Documentaries (4.5 Chilli Peppers)
19. The Last Temptation of Christ - Art House (3.5 Chilli Peppers) 
20. Schindler's List - War (4.5 Chilli Peppers) 

By no means are these easy viewing choices, remember that I did say that I like to be challenged by some of my movie choices, and these are all definitely challenging on some level. However, if you haven't already made the time to see these films then I would highly recommend that you do.
Full reviews of all of the above mentioned movies can be found on their respective genre lists on Spicywatch.com (under the genre drop down tab) should you require any further information.  
And I wish you well with your 'challenging' aka 'movies that matter' viewing adventures.  

You think that you know people....but you never really do. We allow ourselves to believe that we know our family, our spouses and our friends pretty well because we like to think that we do, but the reality of that is actually quite different. When you spend a lot of a time with a person you like to think that you get a sense of who they are, what they believe in and what they stand for, but essentially we are all just compartmentalising people and putting them into pigeon holes that we feel comfortable with, and that does not necessarily portray who they really are at all. 
According to Nicholas Epley, author of "Mindwise: Why We Misunderstand What Others Think, Believe, Feel and Want," you probably don't know anyone nearly as well as you think you do. And you may also have a poor idea of how they'd assess you. Essentially, we fundamentally view ourselves from a very different perspective than other people do because we have a ton of information about ourselves. Based on that, we understand ourselves far better than others, and we also make our assessment on others based on that inner understanding of ourselves; which is where the problem lies. We automatically assume that other people are wired like we are, which is of course so very far from the truth; just because you are looking at the same thing, doesn't mean that you are seeing the same thing, and that leads to a lot of misinterpretation and heartache. 
Trust me when I say that I have been seriously deceived by people in the past that I wrongly believed that I knew really well. I have been utterly flabbergasted by the things that people who I truly loved and cared about, people that I thought were part of my tribe, have been cruel enough to do and say without a second thought. People that I trusted and defended and fought to protect, people that I thought felt the same way about me, but it was all just an illusion of love, they never really cared for me at all, in fact they hated me and the worst part of all was that I didn't even know how much they hated me. I completely misread these people and made a wrong assessment about who they were and how they felt about me. 
I cannot tell you how damaged that misinterpretation has left me as a person. You don't ever get over a hurt that deep, not ever. And I have been forever changed by my past experiences in ways that I wish that I hadn't, because I really miss feeling like I can trust people and open up to them, but I will never be able to completely trust like that ever again now. When you love people with all of the love that you have to give and they hurt you so viciously, there is really no coming back from that. All that is left in their place now is a raging sense of injustice and a shattering awareness that you can never really know anyone, no matter how much you want to think that you do. Assuming that people are feeling the things that you want them to feel is the most foolhardy thing in the world to do and I never want to go through that in this lifetime again. 
Once bitten, twice shy they say, and I am now tremendously shy, perhaps to the point of paranoid, but I have certainly learned that there is a huge difference between knowing someone and thinking that you know someone, and I will not make that mistake or get too comfortable with anyone like that, ever again.

The Universal Stupa of Great Compassion in Bendigo hosted its annual Festival of Peace and Light this weekend and we were fortunate enough to join the celebrations. Well, word has clearly gotten out about how terrific last years festival was because this time the event had grown substantially, both in participation numbers and the lineup of performers.
Last time we were among a mere 100 odd visitors that had our own seats to view a few international acts and some fireworks and this year the Stupa was swamped with thousands of people. There were over 40 various performances in the afternoon, at least a dozen vegetarian food vans (tofu to die for people), merchandise vendors and of course, the precious Jade Buddha which has returned to the Stupa and created a most auspicious and important reason for Buddhists to make the pilgrimage to Bendigo this weekend. 
Because the event has ballooned to epic proportions it was a lot more difficult to see everything and this time there was more than one stage operating with different attractions happening at one time, kind of like a Buddhist Big Day Out, which did mean that you didn't get to see every performance like we did last time. Also forget seating, there was nowhere to sit unless you wanted to perch on a rock (which I happily did) and if you are a short arse like me you often couldn't see the action that was going on even if you wanted to, but it was still so much fun and definitely worth the trip to Bendigo. 
Chinese lions, drumming, various international dancers, hoop twirlers, a puppet theatre, live music and instrumental performers, singers, acrobats, didgeridoo performances, Tibetan chanting and let's not forget the spectacular sound and light extravaganza that always makes me feel like I am five years old again as I ooh and ahh in amazement as the fireworks go zipping across the sky overhead. 
The food vans this year were super impressive as well, with a massive array of extremely tasty and also healthy vegan delights. I had a particularly good shawarma with beetroot  and hummus, but the curries, felafel, rotis and other Indian fried delights also looked delicious and I don't think that anyone was struggling to find something delicious to eat. Again, it was the line up that seemed to be the biggest obstacle, but as long as you kept your cool and stayed the course, you got fed. Like all festival events, you have to expect crowds and queues and you have to make your peace with it, after all it was the Festival of Peace and Light; you can't go around abusing people and being a dick at an event like that. 
I think that the Festival of Peace and Light showcases Victoria's broad Buddhist diversity and the communities genuine interest in other cultures and religious practises. I know without a shadow of doubt that I will be returning next year, and I really look forward to watching the festival grow and expand each year. Next time I will be more prepared for a more grand experience than I was this time and I cannot wait to see what the organisers are going to bring to fold in 2019, so exciting!  

Everyone knows that old chestnut, the old "once in a lifetime" saying. People use it when an opportunity arises that seems like it is almost too good to be true or when something freakishly awesome or dreadful occurs or when people find their 'one true love' just like Shrek found Fiona; but to be honest, I don't actually believe that things do only happen once in a lifetime. I think that sometimes opportunities (and luck) can knock a couple of times or more in one lifetime, maybe even several times if you are lucky enough. And as much as I want to advocate for the reality of a 'one true love' everyone already knows that I think that that theory is a total load of malarkey and that the concept of a soul mate is a manmade load of bullshit that has no place in the mind of any reasonable thinker. 
​Life sometimes gives you lemons and then sometimes it gives you milk and honey as well. I have had my fair share of lemons, but I also know what it feels like when I get a little milk and honey and it feels awesome. And it has happened to me more than once. In fact a lot of things in life that I have really enjoyed have happened to me more than once already and I would like to believe that I am only around half way through this life of mine, so the whole once in a lifetime theory doesn't really hold much water for me. 
I have heard of families that have won the lottery more than once and people that have been hit by lightning more than once and there have been many, many people that have fallen truly, madly and deeply in love on more than one occasion as well. And they are all meant to be once in a lifetime occurrences aren't they? Well they clearly are not once in a lifetime occurrences at all, they are occurrences that are in fact happening every damn day, all around the world, to hundreds of people. We are just programmed to think that extraordinary things don't happen all of time, but in reality they do - a lot! Very regularly in fact, and just about everyone that you meet will have at least one extraordinary story about some "once in a lifetime" thing that has happened to them at some point in their lives.
You see, you do not have to settle for the idea that only truly great things can happen to you once in a lifetime, because that is not true. That kind of thinking is toxic to meeting your full potential or living the life that you want. That kind of mindset is why people settle for less than what they are worth and stop hoping for more, because they think that they have already had their "once in a lifetime" opportunity. The word once implies something that is so fleeting, so short lived and definitely something that is never to be repeated, which is certainly not very encouraging now is it?
​Well I say - fuck that! Be open to wonderful and extraordinary things happening to you every damn day. Open yourself up to the idea that every day of your life is full of unlocked potential and wonderment and unexpected good fortune that is just around the next corner. See where that kind of thinking takes you. I think that from now on I am going to say that there are at least a billion opportunities in a lifetime, not just one, and that I am going to remain open to them all happening to me, as many time as I can get! Why stop at "once in a lifetime" when you can have so much more than that?