I read a really startling article in The Guardian this week that was all about the research that is being done around the theory of children being 'born bad.' In the article, a psychiatrist named Dr Essi Viding, from the Social, Genetic and Developmental Psychiatry Centre at King's College in London said, that research has shown that some children actually inherit antisocial disorders from their parents and that their poor behaviour is not caused by bad parenting or a bad environment.
Being 'born bad' has now been scientifically proven to be a real thing and a lot of antisocial behaviours that children display are actually caused by a child's genetic makeup. Sure, if these vulnerable children are then exposed to poor parenting and a less than nurturing environment then their psychopathic tendencies are most certainly exacerbated, but even without those influences there are some poor kids out there that are definitely behind the genetic eight ball when it comes to having their shit together and mastering the ability to make good and appropriate social choices. 
The research was based on the psychiatrists analysis of 3,687 pairs of seven year old identical twins. Apparently identical twins are the best candidates for this type of comparison research due to the fact that they share exactly the same genes and therefore the same inherited influences. Anyway, long story short, from the data that they collated, they have identified that yes, some children are in fact 'born bad.' 
This information makes me feel really conflicted. On one hand I feel dreadfully sad that there are kids out there that are just 'born bad'  because I have always been a firm believer that  no child is ever truly 'born bad' but rather 'made bad' by influence and environment, which is still certainly possible, but it is clearly not always the case according to this study. 
And then on the other hand I feel really hopeful and quite excited about what this new research has uncovered because it means that specialists will be able to pinpoint potential problems very early on for these poor children, probably even before they are born. Which in turn will mean that we will be able to offer better forms of early intervention and support, and hopefully head off the big problems before they have a chance to really manifest. 
I suppose that this type of research can only be seen as a positive step forward, but there is something about an unborn child being labelled as 'bad' that makes me feel pretty damn uncomfortable. Maybe the word 'bad' needs to be changed up for something that has a lot less connotations attached to it, but 'disadvantaged' or 'potentially dangerous' doesn't really sound a lot better does it? Maybe we should just stamp a biohazard symbol onto their poor little heads when they pop out into the world so that we can easily identify them? 
Seriously though, as much as we all want early intervention and prevention, do we really want to be labeling 'bad' kids prenatal? All that I know for sure is that there will definitely need to be a lot of diplomacy and privacy around the handling of this information in the future, so that our so called 'bad' kids can have the same opportunities as our so called 'good' kids in this world. 

Some people are so very beautiful on the outside and then they turn out to be just plain ugly on the inside. I always feel really let down by these people because very good looking people always have such a natural advantage over us regular folk and it seems like such a shameful waste to squander a decent leg up in the world like that, but alas it does happen. Outer beauty can be dreadfully deceptive and there have been many times in my life when I have been dazzled by a seemingly beautiful individual only to realise that their glossy exterior was actually rotten to the core after having only one good bite. 
Some people that are perceived by social standards to be somewhat unattractive on the outside can often turn out to be completely and irresistibly beautiful on the inside. These people have a different kind of beauty and it shines like a light from inside of them; they are usually a complete pleasure to be around and never seem to take things in life too seriously. These people know how to laugh at themselves and they get better and better looking everytime that you see them because their inner light is so infectious and glowingly irresistible. They are the sort of person that people just adore and say the nicest things about because they make others feel so at ease with their kind nature and generous deeds. 
There are some truly blessed people in the world that are both beautiful on the inside and the outside as well and they are not as rare as you might imagine, they really do exist and I have met quite a few of them in my lifetime. These people appear to have it all and because of that they can inadvertently make us mere mortals feel utterly inadequate, but it is just impossible to be envious or mad at these gorgeous people for very long because they are just so damn lovely! Everyone can sense the magic that these people have and we are all naturally drawn to them like moths to the flame. On the down side, these poor beautiful creatures are the most at risk of getting stalkers or having people hate them for no good reason because they are just plain jealous of them; so as much as having it all may seem amazing, it can actually be dreadfully treacherous for the real beauties of this world. 
And then there are the rarest and also the most unfortunate of all the people that you can ever meet in your lifetime, because they are the ones that are not really very good looking on the outside and completely revoltingly ugly on the inside. And yes, unfortunately they do exist and I have also had the displeasure of meeting some of them in my lifetime as well. These people often appear to be pretty regular looking on the outside and not necessarily hideous, but if you spend a couple of hours around them....then....errrr..... gross! They just get uglier by the second. They are so unpleasant that they actually get less and less attractive the longer that you are around them! These people are twisted and exceptionally mean; really, really mean. They are conniving and vindictive and will do anything to get ahead in life, regardless of who they damage along the way. They are foul and should be avoided at all costs, even if it means extracting them from your life altogether. 
​Yes, it cannot be denied, looks can be incredibly deceiving, and the outside appearance does not always dictate the true interior. But honestly, who hasn't been suckered into the lure of a pretty face before? We all have, however, as you get older and wiser you realise that what may appear to be gold can sometimes just be a bit of spray painted rock. And what looks just like an old rock can actually be a crystal delight on the inside. You know the old saying 'you can't polish a turd' well that is very true, but you can roll it in glitter! And that is the reason that I have never really liked things that look too glitzy on the outside and always judge people on what they say and do and not ever by the way that they look. 

One of the things that I love most about living where I do is that there is always some kind of free event or entertainment that can be accessed without having to travel very far. With only an hour to travel to Melbourne, the Surf Coast or the Grampians, I have perfect access to almost any type of activity that I choose to partake in, and over the last few weeks there has been no shortage of opportunities.
In particular, Ballarat and the surrounding rural areas have had a bevy of free events that has kept me more than busy and also highly entertained. Last weekend The Ballarat Begonia Festival was on, which is always an excellent and free extravaganza of all things garden related. And last night the town celebrated its second White Night event, which was again really engaging and gathered a massive and diverse crowd of enthusiasts.  
Yesterday I hit the road to check out the Golden Plains Shire Arts Trail, which showcases local artists and their works throughout the Golden Plains region. Turns out that there are dozens of very talented artists right on my doorstep and within a 25 kilometre radius of our home I viewed pieces from so many different artists covering so many mediums, including painting, photography, quilting, jewellery making, leathering, garden sculpture, ceramics, nature art, watercolor painting and sketching. Amazing! I was so impressed with the standard of work that I saw, and it was really nice to have a chat with the artists about their pieces as well. 
I love it when a community comes together to share their passions, their hard work and their knowledge, and it is refreshing to be able to attend events without feeling like you need to spend a whole lot of money. Nothing much comes for free anymore and it is nice to know that even when you're seriously broke that you can still get a bit of culture into your life.
​Anyone that knows anything about me already knows that I sure do love a good cheap thrill!

Sometimes in my life it can really feel like I travel two steps forward and then one step back again. I suppose that everyone feels like that from time to time. Sometimes I feel an overwhelming sense of that in every aspect of my life and I have to try really hard to not let these small setbacks make me feel deflated. Things will happen, stuff won't always work out and some of the best laid plans will turn into total horse shit.
The biggest problem with this reality is that I am the sort of person that likes to feel that I am constantly moving forward in life, and it just kills me if I think that I am not. And even though I have an excellent understanding of the fact that no-one, no matter how much they may appear to have their shit together, is ever really continually moving forwards, it is just accepting that fact that is the hardest thing for me.
Standing still or moving backwards are not really terms that ignite excitement in me, generally they have the opposite effect. However, I have discovered that when I find myself in these predicaments, as one does from time to time, that there are things that can be done to make the process a lot less agonising and in fact, even quite enjoyable!
Firstly and above all else, the best thing to do when things go wrong is to take stock of the situation and make an assessment. An assessment that is not based on how far you still have to go, but more on how far you have already come. This is where keeping a daily journal really comes into its own, because when you flick back over a six, or even better twelve month period of your life, and you see just how much you've accomplished and grown, you won't feel deflated or setback for very long. It is so very easy to focus on the negative side of things in life when you face a minor setback, much easier than seeing the good things, but when you can actually see it on the page in front of you, it is very hard to deny your own personal growth. 
And that is the other thing, just because you are being forced to stand still with your progression on something for a while, that doesn't mean that you have ceased to grow altogether. In fact a lull in giant leaps forward are actually an extremely valuable opportunity to really observe the bigger picture, to make sure that you are still on the right track and to make any necessary adjustments before continuing on. When you look at it like that, a step backwards can almost seem like a much needed hiatus and a golden opportunity to uncover a brand new learning or way of doing things. 
​And if I still feel like crap about a setback after all of that, then I like to console and remind myself that I am only human, that is totally okay to make mistakes and get things wrong and that doing dumb shit every now and again is probably good for my soul anyway. Trying too hard to get it all right all of the time is just plain exhausting and I don't want to walk around with the weight of an elephant on my shoulders. I would rather just learn to find the sage in my setbacks, the reason behind my mistakes and the calm in the chaos, because two steps forward and one step back is still one step forward when you really think about it, and I am am happy to take it all just one step at a time anyway. 

Okay, okay, I have to eat my words about the Academy Awards never giving the Best Picture  Award to a fantasy movie, because The Shape of Water reigned supreme winning both Best Picture and Best Director for Guillermo del Toro at the 90th Academy Awards, which was just tremendous and completely unexpected from my perspective.
Frances McDormand took Best Actress in a Lead Role and Sam Rockwell Best Supporting Actor for Three Billboards Outside of Ebbing, Missouri. Gary Oldman nabbed Best Lead Actor for Darkest Hour and Allison Janney won Best Supporting Actress for I, Tonya. Coco deservingly won Best Animated Feature Film as did Call Me By Your Name for Best Writing Adapted Screenplay, and it was great to see a horror represented in there as well this year with Get Out winning Best Original Screenplay for Jordan Peele.
Of course I stayed up until  11.30pm last Tuesday evening to watch the entire event on television, I wouldn't miss it! I wasn't in a glamorous gown, eating canopies with a glass of champagne in my hand as a work colleague suggested I might be. I was actually cosied up on the couch in my PJ's with a coffee  and a biscuit in my hand, but I didn't miss any of the action! I also watched The Golden Globes and the BAFTAs as well in similar fashion this year. For me, it is so good to see the movies and actors that I have enjoyed on the big screen getting some well deserved notoriety, it kind of galvanises my opinions about quality cinema and I just love the glitz and glamour of a Hollywood awards ceremony. 
It was also my birthday last week. I have now had my fourth round of eleventh birthdays, and was very spoilt by those nearest and dearest to me. It all kicked off on Friday when my new work colleagues gave me an unexpected and very thoughtful gift, then in the evening I was invited out to a friend's house for a delicious home cooked dinner with a group of friends. We enjoyed many laughs and libations alongside of a amazing roasted lamb and the most delicious roasted chicken that I have ever had, topped off with a scrumptious lemon tart for dessert. 
My actual birthday, which was Saturday, started off with an incredible brunch at Enfield thanks to Helen, who happily provided the most amazing spread of French pastries, breads and juices for an epic morning feast. Zoe joined us in the afternoon and we all went out for dinner to a swanky new Thai restaurant in Ballarat, and then on to see a live performance of Jesus Christ Superstar. Wow! There are some incredibly talented people in Ballarat; what an incredible show! And the music! Now I understand the appeal of a live rock opera, what an amazing effort and what a terrific night out for my birthday.
Came home afterwards and stayed up until 3am listening to music, singing loudly and drinking way too many celebratory drinks. A pretty great end to an exceptionally lovely day I think. I was absolutely showered with amazingly thoughtful gifts from friends and family, received heaps of kind text messages and just felt really loved and appreciated by those that I care about, and who could ask for anything more or better than that on their birthday? What a perfect week of celebrations I have enjoyed and how lucky I am!

In society today, both men and women face different pressures and expectations in regards to how they perform and conduct themselves. Sometimes we can rise to these societal expectations and sometimes we cannot, and although there is no written text outlining these expectations, they very much exist in our communities, our society and even in many of our homes. We all silently and obediently comply to these unspoken 'norms' everyday, but I wonder, should we?
Don't get me wrong here, I am not questioning our social expectations in the hope of creating a societal misconstruct or a revolution, because I do understand full well that we do need certain boundaries and expectations to operate as a well functioning and safe society. What I am saying however, is that some of the expectations, in particular those around gender roles, that are continually thrust upon us, are really not that reasonable or forward thinking, and yet we still willingly adhere and conform to them anyway.  
For women, I think that one of the biggest and most incorrect presumptions that society has is the belief that they are all nurturing and have the potential to be great mothers. Anyone with half a brain in their head knows that this is absolute malarkey; however, even though we know that this is not true, the pressures that society places upon women to conform to this unspoken norm are ridiculously high.
When society views what they believe to be a mother that isn't maternal, motherly or nurturing, they instantly shun her. She is usually viewed as weak, unfeminine and generally a pretty lousy person. No point denying it, it's true, I've heard vicious women picking their teeth with the bones of 'not very good' mothers in school car parks, after school sporting activities and mothers groups; and I would feel more comfortable with the vultures on the savannah to be honest. 
We can forgive women for many things, but as a society we are very unforgiving when it comes to motherhood, and in spite of all of our forward thinking, society still judges women that do not take to motherhood naturally very harshly. They are often branded with labels like 'bad' mother or called pathetic, dramatic and selfish. Women are probably the number one perpetrators of hate against un-maternal and un-nurturing women, and there is a frightening amount of pressure to conform when you become a mother. So much so, that a lot of women just crack under the pressure , and understandably so, it's bloody hard work! Not just being a decent enough mother to not get labelled 'bad' but also actually wrangling children, which at times is a dreadfully un-enjoyable business (just don't tell the other mothers that I said that). 
However, it is not just women that have unrealistic expectations thrust upon them, men get more than their fair share as well. For men, I think that society fails most when it comes to the expectation that men are to be strong, brave and ambitious. Again, what a load of horse shit! Many men that I know are none of those things, and they are really lovely terrific guys, but they do feel pressured by society to conform to expectations all of the time. 
From the time that boys are born, they are told to 'suck it up' and harden up. They are bombarded with media images of strong, smart, successful, brave and adventurous male icons that they are supposed to live up to and if they show too much emotion they are seen as weak and pathetic and sometimes called a sissy or god forbid, a girl. Young men feel like they need to constantly jostle for rank in order to be respected and fear being emasculated by their peers from as young as pre-school, and then we wonder why they become shut down men that are not in touch of their emotions later in life. Again, society says that it is forward thinking, but in some cases we are positively archaic in when it comes to gender stereotyping and expectation. 
Sure we are making progress, but we really aren't there yet, and it is going to require the support of everyone in our communities to change these harmful and unreasonable expectations that we place upon ourselves and those around us, because these old ways are not serving us any longer. The next time that you almost call some woman a 'bad' mother or some guy a 'pussy' think again about whether you are helping or hindering a solution to the problems that we are all facing when it comes to gender expectations and social support. Choose to not label, choose to investigate the whys. Be a pro-active member of your community and start questioning the expectations that you place upon others, and whether you need to do that anymore. 

German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche once quoted that people don't want to hear the truth because they don't want their illusions destroyed; meaning that humans prefer to be lied to. Having a personality that it somewhat 'tell it like it is' myself, I can assure you that this quote is absolutely 100% accurate and that people do not ever really want to hear the truth about themselves or about the things that are going on in their lives. They may tell you that they want the truth, but don't be fooled by that one, they most definitely DO NOT want to hear the truth. As Jack Nicholson famously shouted in A Few Good Men, they can't handle the truth and it will just about always freak them out and send them into a frenzy of hate, self doubt and/or depression.
People are far more comfortable with you going along with the flow, keeping your thoughts to yourself, accepting things as they come and generally not 'rocking the boat' as it is often termed. As humans we do have a strong tendency to adhere to the 'flock with birds of a feather' ideology. We conform, almost on autopilot, to groupthink situations, often succumbing to pressures that we don't really agree with just so that we can maintain the status quo and have a sense of belonging. 
There have been a few times in my life when speaking the truth has gotten me into a lot of trouble. I rarely mince my words, and I like to be honest about my thoughts and feelings; I don't really see the point in going along with things that I find upsetting, unfair or just plain ridiculous. However, as I said before, people do not want your honesty, so being skilled at 'telling it like is' is not really seen as a very good social skill to have; well not if you want to fly with the flock anyway.  
This 'skill' of mine has on a few occasions led to me inadvertently upsetting or offending people. Sometimes I have felt bad about that, sometimes I have not, depending on the situation of course. However, as I get older I realise that Nietzsche was not only right about people not wanting to hear the truth about themselves, but also that his advice should probably be followed if you don't want to continuously alienate the people in your life. 
And this is where the real conundrum lies, because I don't actually want people in my life that I can't be honest with. I value people being genuine and up front with me and I don't want people feeling like they have to follow any social norms or pretend to be anything or feel anything that they don't in order to be in my life. I respect people for being forthright and I would expect that the people that I have in my life would feel the same way. Of course, I understand that there is a fine line between speaking your truth and being a totally intolerant asshole all of the time as well. There are certain things that never need to be spoken about or commented on; and yes, a white lie here or there is absolutely necessary when it comes to us all getting along, but are we all generally over editing ourselves to appease the flock most of the time?
I do feel like many people probably do drastically over edit their thoughts and opinions in favour of 'flying with the flock.' Everyone is so scared of being seen as the 'opinionated' one, or the 'difficult' one that they just adopt an insincere tolerance to things that they do not agree with and an allowance of others to behave as they like and dictate how things should be, even though it may fly in the face of their own personal values or ethics. I can assure you from personal experience, that over-editing yourself and being ingenuous about how you feel will inevitably only lead to unrest, anger, resentment and hostility, which is hardly a terrific result or positive outcome. 
I suppose that the only really zen thing to do when it comes to speaking your truth is learning to become more adept at identifying when it is and when it is not appropriate to do so. Every situation and person is unique and therefore the levels of honesty that can be used varies constantly from situation to situation and person to person. Much easier said than done I know, because I have spent a good deal of my spare time overthinking things that I have said and removing my foot from my mouth on a regular basis.
It is important to find a happy medium in life where you do feel comfortable to stand strong in your own values and truths, but in doing so, to also make sure that you are not making everyone else feel uncomfortable when you do. If you succeed at doing this, please let me know how so that I too can become better at finding the 'happy medium' where I am sometimes flying with flock and sometimes flying solo as well without making any of the birds feel bad about themselves. 

CALL ME BY YOUR NAME
Release Date: 2017
Rating: MA 15+
​Running Time: 132 mins 
A coming-of-age romance drama directed by Luca Guadagnino and written by James Ivory. Based on the 2007 novel of the same name by Andre Aciman, Call Me By Your Name was released at the 2017 Sundance Film Festival and has since received numerous accolades for its melancholic and powerful portrayal of a first love romance. 
In the Summer of 1983 in Lombardy, Italy, 17 year old Elio meets Oliver, an older handsome American that is working for Elio's father. Against the sumptuous sunburnt landscapes of an Italian summer, Elio and Oliver become involved in a passionate love affair that will change both of their lives forever. 
This film feels like a foreign language/ art house movie, and perhaps that is what makes it so good. The script never feels like it is conforming to cinematic or societal expectations, it is completely genuine and honest in its portrayal of budding first love discoveries and gay relationships which makes it uniquely forward thinking and exceptionally refreshing. 
The 80's era is portrayed perfectly and the two lead actors, Timothee Chalamet and Armie Hammer, are absolutely flawless as the infatuated lovers. I was so impressed by Chalamet's notable onscreen presence, he will definitely be one to watch in the future and Hammer shows us some serious acting chops that I have not seen before as well. 
Call Me By Your Name is nothing short of a modern gay classic and is powerful viewing that shouldn't be missed. 
FINAL SAY: Is it better to speak or die?
4 Chilli Peppers ​