I have been so overwhelmed by the amount of television series that are being offered this year. As it is I have an outrageous backlog of movies to catch up on, but now it seems like I also have a never ending amount of television episodes to catch up on as well. There is not nearly enough hours in the day now for me to get around to seeing everything that I want to see, I would have to take all of my long service leave and then spend it with my arse bolted to the couch to get through the stuff that I have banked up on my 'to watch' lists, it's absolutely nuts! 
At the moment I have around ten TV series on the go, which is not really that unusual for me, but I have had up to a 15 or more going at one time this year and that is just freaking insane, not to mention unprecedented as well. It is very bloody difficult to watch any movies when you are constantly in catch up mode of all of your TV programs, and to make matters worse, I have been completely hoodwinked by a few 'not so good' TV series this year that have really let me down and wasted my precious viewing time. First world problems I know, but it is true and I really hate starting something and not finishing it, but this year I have had no choice but to abandon some real TV series stinkers. 

​For those of you that may be contemplating watching something on TV, can I please forewarn you of the following series that you should avoid at all costs:
Electric Dreams - had some good moments, but not nearly enough of them.
The Exorcist - I blame S2, it nearly gave me a bleed on the brain- pitiful!
Re-mind - Re-think would have been a better name.
The Walking Dead (S8) - enough already - please STAAAPPP!!
Lost in Space - Bloody lost me completely, yawn fest. 
Requiem - The name says it all.
Gunpowder - Don't be fooled by the lure of Kit Harrington, this went nowhere!
Picnic at Hanging Rock - the original movie shits all over this boring reboot. 

On a brighter note, there have been some unmissable moments as well, here are my faves from the year so far:
Mosaic - Steven Soderbergh does TV a big favour.
Britannia - Pagans and Romans and Druids - oh my!
The End of the Fucking World - kinda art house, definitely had a fresh perspective. 
Dirk Gently S2 - final season - boohoo!
Master of None S2 - keeps getting better!
Atlanta S2 - Good lord, amazing - not yet finished airing.
Handmaid's Tale S2 - okay not as good as S1 but still worthy - not yet finished airing. 
Peaky Blinders S4 - made up for a crappy S3.
Here and Now - welcome back Alan Ball, how I have missed you!
Ash vs Evil Dead S3 - mental horror fun.
Santa Clarita Diet S2 - surprisingly improved on the first season.
Love S3 - consistently great.
Barry - quirky dark comedy with Bill Hader, what's not to like?
Lemony Snicket's Series of Unfortunate Events S2 - soooo good, even better than the first!
Swedish Dicks S2 - Ingmar and Axel rule! Love it!
One Strange Rock - Aronofsky does documentary and succeeds brilliantly!
Happy! - Utterly broken and yet still so damn entertaining. 

Hopefully you haven't succumbed to the unending amount of crap that is being rolled out on TV lately and wasted your precious viewing time as well. Perhaps my recommended list will offer you some relief and you can now begin to fill your time with worthy and noteworthy programming.
Anyway, on that note, I actually have a couple of shows that I need to catch up on, so I'll blog ya later, happy viewing!

Spicywatch.com celebrated it's fourth birthday last night with a small but extremely supportive group of wonderful family and friends. I have now reviewed more than 700 movies that are totally worthy of your viewing time, I have rolled out more than 410 blog entries, generated a few loyal readers and I have been to the movies so many times that I think the proprietors are considering offering me shares in the business. And most importantly, I have loved every single minute of it.
I have adored watching all of movies that I have sat through to get me to this point, even the really bad ones. I have loved hooking up with friends at the cinema and dragging my family along to the movies every other week. I have loved sharing my thoughts and the events of my life with all of my readers on my blog and I have loved the process of building up an almanac of worthy and 'spicy' movies for others to consider watching. 
Last night the theme of the evenings celebrations was comedy, and everyone was encouraged to share their favourite comedy scene or funny moment in a movie with the group. We watched scenes from old but still hilarious classics like Duck Soup and Young Frankenstein as well as modern comedies like Bridesmaids, Nacho Libre, Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle, Mr Bean's Holiday, Rat Race, The Wedding Singer, Kung Fu Hustle, What We Do In The Shadows and Clerks. Even the unlikely thriller American Psycho managed a look in with Christian Bale's raincoat wearing "Hip to be Square" routine.
There was much laughter and hilarity, and it was really lovely to be able to share a couple of drinks and some good company in the name of Spicywatch.com. I have really been overwhelmed by how supportive and positive everyone has been of my website, which really has been a labour of love for me and sometimes a bit of writing therapy from time to time as well. I really have poured a lot of my spare time and energy into maintaining  Spicywatch.com and the continued support of my readers has been incredibly overwhelming and deeply meaningful to me.
Dear readers, without your support Spicywatch.com may not have made it any further than it's first birthday. Your shared interest in quality cinema and commitment to reading my constant rants has meant more to me than words could ever really express. From the bottom of my heart, I thank you so much my lovely spicywatch supporters and I will certainly endeavour to keep offering you more experiences of cinematic worthiness, along with the contents of my head, in the years ahead. 
Keep on watching, and please do keep on reading xxx

Sometimes I need to be alone. Really alone. 
This need to be left alone is often mistaken for aloofness or rudeness, and I never mean for it to come off that way, but the unfortunate side effect of needing alone time is that sometimes it can make others feel like you don't want them around. 
The truth is that I really do want people around, I actually really enjoy company and crave human interaction.  And just like everyone else in the world I do get really lonely sometimes too, but if I am being 100% honest, that doesn't happen very often. More often than I would like to admit, I just want to be left the hell alone. Which sounds terrible when I say it like that, but it is true. I really need to be left alone sometimes, and alone can be very, very difficult to get. 
Sometimes when I need alone time, I really need alone time, and it can be quite difficult for me to get the alone time that I need and that will actually satisfy my need for aloneness. In my line of work, where I am around children all day (especially really small ones) I do find that I can get pretty depleted by the end of the day. I often try to retreat to a quiet corner of the house when I am in withdrawal mode, but find that I can rarely sustain the hiding for longer than half an hour before someone decides that they need me something and I am ferreted out of my hiding spot.
It is not good to be angry at the people you love for needing you, but sometimes it happens. Sometimes, enough is a bloody-nuff!  Go work it out yourself, cook your own dinner, stop asking me for things, leave me alone! I want to shout these things from the top of my lungs, but then I would just feel guilty about it so I don't. I face the strain and keep on smiling, even though my insides may be writhing with angry feelings and annoyance and my legs want to abscond. 
As an introvert, the need to be left alone can be exceptionally overwhelming, but as I said it can also make you look like such a total asshole. I often find myself daydreaming about entire weekends where no-one is around and I don't have to worry about anyone else's needs but my own, just a couple of days where the house is empty all day and night except for me. And I know that that is  a completely selfish and pretty dickish thing to desire, but when you have been bombarded by humans and their needs for as long as I have, sometimes you just long for no responsibility and no pressure and especially no new input. No new input, just the sound of it....it sounds like complete and utter bliss to me. 
However, I also know that I would probably only last 24 hours and then I would start to miss everyone and would wish them all back home again anyway, but every now and then I do secretly wish that they would all just sod off for a while and leave me the hell alone! 

The Universal Stupa of Great Compassion in Bendigo hosted its annual Festival of Peace and Light this weekend and we were fortunate enough to join the celebrations. Well, word has clearly gotten out about how terrific last years festival was because this time the event had grown substantially, both in participation numbers and the lineup of performers.
Last time we were among a mere 100 odd visitors that had our own seats to view a few international acts and some fireworks and this year the Stupa was swamped with thousands of people. There were over 40 various performances in the afternoon, at least a dozen vegetarian food vans (tofu to die for people), merchandise vendors and of course, the precious Jade Buddha which has returned to the Stupa and created a most auspicious and important reason for Buddhists to make the pilgrimage to Bendigo this weekend. 
Because the event has ballooned to epic proportions it was a lot more difficult to see everything and this time there was more than one stage operating with different attractions happening at one time, kind of like a Buddhist Big Day Out, which did mean that you didn't get to see every performance like we did last time. Also forget seating, there was nowhere to sit unless you wanted to perch on a rock (which I happily did) and if you are a short arse like me you often couldn't see the action that was going on even if you wanted to, but it was still so much fun and definitely worth the trip to Bendigo. 
Chinese lions, drumming, various international dancers, hoop twirlers, a puppet theatre, live music and instrumental performers, singers, acrobats, didgeridoo performances, Tibetan chanting and let's not forget the spectacular sound and light extravaganza that always makes me feel like I am five years old again as I ooh and ahh in amazement as the fireworks go zipping across the sky overhead. 
The food vans this year were super impressive as well, with a massive array of extremely tasty and also healthy vegan delights. I had a particularly good shawarma with beetroot  and hummus, but the curries, felafel, rotis and other Indian fried delights also looked delicious and I don't think that anyone was struggling to find something delicious to eat. Again, it was the line up that seemed to be the biggest obstacle, but as long as you kept your cool and stayed the course, you got fed. Like all festival events, you have to expect crowds and queues and you have to make your peace with it, after all it was the Festival of Peace and Light; you can't go around abusing people and being a dick at an event like that. 
I think that the Festival of Peace and Light showcases Victoria's broad Buddhist diversity and the communities genuine interest in other cultures and religious practises. I know without a shadow of doubt that I will be returning next year, and I really look forward to watching the festival grow and expand each year. Next time I will be more prepared for a more grand experience than I was this time and I cannot wait to see what the organisers are going to bring to fold in 2019, so exciting!  

Everyone knows that old chestnut, the old "once in a lifetime" saying. People use it when an opportunity arises that seems like it is almost too good to be true or when something freakishly awesome or dreadful occurs or when people find their 'one true love' just like Shrek found Fiona; but to be honest, I don't actually believe that things do only happen once in a lifetime. I think that sometimes opportunities (and luck) can knock a couple of times or more in one lifetime, maybe even several times if you are lucky enough. And as much as I want to advocate for the reality of a 'one true love' everyone already knows that I think that that theory is a total load of malarkey and that the concept of a soul mate is a manmade load of bullshit that has no place in the mind of any reasonable thinker. 
​Life sometimes gives you lemons and then sometimes it gives you milk and honey as well. I have had my fair share of lemons, but I also know what it feels like when I get a little milk and honey and it feels awesome. And it has happened to me more than once. In fact a lot of things in life that I have really enjoyed have happened to me more than once already and I would like to believe that I am only around half way through this life of mine, so the whole once in a lifetime theory doesn't really hold much water for me. 
I have heard of families that have won the lottery more than once and people that have been hit by lightning more than once and there have been many, many people that have fallen truly, madly and deeply in love on more than one occasion as well. And they are all meant to be once in a lifetime occurrences aren't they? Well they clearly are not once in a lifetime occurrences at all, they are occurrences that are in fact happening every damn day, all around the world, to hundreds of people. We are just programmed to think that extraordinary things don't happen all of time, but in reality they do - a lot! Very regularly in fact, and just about everyone that you meet will have at least one extraordinary story about some "once in a lifetime" thing that has happened to them at some point in their lives.
You see, you do not have to settle for the idea that only truly great things can happen to you once in a lifetime, because that is not true. That kind of thinking is toxic to meeting your full potential or living the life that you want. That kind of mindset is why people settle for less than what they are worth and stop hoping for more, because they think that they have already had their "once in a lifetime" opportunity. The word once implies something that is so fleeting, so short lived and definitely something that is never to be repeated, which is certainly not very encouraging now is it?
​Well I say - fuck that! Be open to wonderful and extraordinary things happening to you every damn day. Open yourself up to the idea that every day of your life is full of unlocked potential and wonderment and unexpected good fortune that is just around the next corner. See where that kind of thinking takes you. I think that from now on I am going to say that there are at least a billion opportunities in a lifetime, not just one, and that I am going to remain open to them all happening to me, as many time as I can get! Why stop at "once in a lifetime" when you can have so much more than that?

Every year around the end of Autumn and the beginning of Winter I suffer from a bit of mild depression. Not a throw myself from the nearest building kind of depression, more of a self doubting, self loathing and melancholic period that always seems to appear at the same time of the year. The darker, wetter and colder days seem to also bring with them an air of despair and uncertainty that leaves me feeling out of tune with everything and everyone. I can feel my resilience and tolerance faltering and my usually optimistic demeanor becomes somewhat surley and pessimistic. During these moments I have to fight the urge to run and hide under a blanket somewhere, far away from the world and all of it's noisy responsibilities and complications. 
It's a strange and unnamable feeling that makes me want to retreat, and stranger still is the fact that I am never really sure of what I am actually retreating from. Generally I am a bit over-emotional, super sensitive, easily angered and melodramatic at these times of the year, it's kind of like PMS on steroids and its not a lot of fun for me or the people around me. And what really gets to me about it all, is why? Why do I have these periods in my life and why are they so cyclic? 
Perhaps it is because of the crappy weather, maybe it's because of the stockpile of bills that come at this time of the year that need to be paid, maybe it's because I am just a little run down from being unwell and overwhelmed by the demands of my everyday routine, and then maybe it is actually just a combination of all of those things. Whatever the reason, I do know one thing for sure, it always and I mean always occurs around this time of the year.
Last year around this time I had a particularly difficult time with depression and I felt it more completely than I had in previous years. I had a total dark night of the soul and was actually really concerned about some of the thoughts that I was entertaining. I went to a really dark place and it lasted for way too long. I also had a massive and incredibly painful falling out with my siblings at this time last year, and they have all since become estranged to me, and maybe the hurt of that feels particularly raw at this time of the year and adds to my melancholy. However, I would be lying if I said that it was any one particular thing that made me feel the early winter blues so intensely. 
However, it is not all doom and gloom! By recognising this pattern of self doubt and inner turmoil, I have become a lot better at managing it. Through meditation and yoga practises I have learnt to curb my personal negativity and anxiety because I can now recognize what is happening a lot earlier on. I also know with great certainty that these melancholic moments are transient and fleeting and that I do not have to engage with them when they occur. I no longer need to feed and clothe my personal demons everytime that I get anxious or worried, I can just recognise them and then let them go quietly back into the night. I also recognise that everyone has times in their lives that are rife with anxiety and uncertainty and that I am not alone in my struggles and that it is all a normal part of any growth cycle to fall over every now and then. 
I can now bravely acknowledge that I do get blues from time to time, but it doesn't define who I am and that I don't have to let it take hold of me. Like a quiet passenger on the bus of life I can simply notice these feelings as I pass them by, waving farewell to them before they even get a chance to take hold of me. And that is big part of what surviving your own depression and dark thoughts is like really. You know that these times and thoughts are going to come around every now and again, but like negative people that are hard to have around, you just have to choose to not engage them.
Sometimes that requires a lot of strength, a lot more than you think that you can muster up, but essentially you can. You really can, in spite of whatever your head may be telling you, and just as winter arrives every year, so too does summer and the most powerful thing to remember to help you to get yourself out of a funk like this is that nothing ever lasts forever. It's all transient and it's all fleeting, and you don't have to stay in the moment any longer then you choose to, you can let go at any time, at any moment, just let it pass you by. 

When you work in a niche market, sell an exclusive product or deliver something that no-one else is really offering you become at risk of being too damn exclusive for your own good. In fact you can become a difficult, egotistical douchebag quite quickly if you are not being somewhat self aware and taking into account the needs and feelings of your clientele or target audience.
We have all seen it happen to professionals, especially entertainers. You find yourself enamoured by some new flavour of the month, you buy their album or go to see their latest film and you allow yourself to think that they are really cool because of their singing, acting or dancing. But then, you see them on television being interviewed or on some talk show like Graeme Norton and you think to yourself - what a fucking dickhead!
It totally taints the way that you saw them and you realise that all of that fame has totally gone to their heads and that they have succumbed to the "getting too exclusive" virus, and yep, now you actually really don't like them at all anymore. And it's not just because they're dickheads, it's also because they fooled you into thinking that they were someone else and you almost feel betrayed by that and you most definitely feel let down. 
Well, from my experience, you don't need to be rich or famous to be getting too exclusive for your own good. In fact I have found that if people or even organisations feel like they have the monopoly over something then they tend to take on air of exclusivity very bloody quickly indeed and it can leave people feeling alienated and on the outer rim. And I am speaking from some very recent personal experiences that I have encountered where I have felt like I was banging my head against a brick wall to get anywhere because I wasn't in the 'know' enough to be given the respect that I deserved. 
I'm not going to really get into it because these organisations are reputable and do have some terrific people working for them and I don't want to tar everyone with the same dirty brush here, but if you or your business, or your organisation starts to get so exclusive that you are alienating people and making them feel like shit, then you are getting way too exclusive for your own good.
There is a terrific quote by Malcolm S. Forbes that says: You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him. 
Pretty good words to live by I reckon and certainly not a part of the mindset of the all too exclusive people of this world that's for sure!

Toothache really is in a realm all by itself. This week I had a pretty tough week, so tough that I let my entire routine go out of the window because I had to. I was in excruciating pain for days and even though the worst of it is over, I am still basically like a cantankerous bear with a splinter in it's paw. I didn't eat, didn't sleep longer than a two hour stretch, didn't do yoga or meditation, didn't practise any of my usual lessons or even (God forbid) complete a blog. What I did do, between my work hours was moan, groan and lay about on the couch drugged out of my mind watching bullshit TV and hating my life.
How did I get this way? Well let me tell you a little story about heartache and the loss of God....just kidding...it wasn't actually that bad. Let me tell you about the time that a dentist butchered me though....
On Saturday of last week I went to the dentist for my routine six month clean and scale. I didn't have any concerns about my teeth and I was in really good health. I was however seeing a dentist that I wouldn't usually see, which would turn out to be one of my worst errors in judgement ever. My usual dentist has a life of luxury and only works 4 days a week from 9am to 3pm, which renders him pretty much useless to the working class society, so I thought I would do the right thing and not take time off for a routine clean and scale that I would just go to another dentist at the same practise, after all it was for a 20 min check-up not a root canal.
Anyway, this new dentist, let's call him Dr Slaughter, had me in the chair for an hour. He x-rayed, poked about and gave me a very thorough deep clean, which at the time I thought, okay great, obviously I needed all that. And even though I didn't enjoy it, I figured that I must have needed the extra invasive cleaning and told myself that I was getting value for money. 
The first day after the cleaning I was fine, and the second I was mildly uncomfortable, but I have had periodontal work so a little oral discomfort is not foreign to me. By Tuesday, shit was getting real and I had started to take Panadol and Nurofen on two hourly rotations. Let me point out that I NEVER take cope dope, not ever, it has to be serious for me to even go there.
Anyway Tuesday night, no dinner and a little sleep - too much pain. Wednesday I had to travel to Melbourne for a work PD, almost 3 hours each way, that was a long day with a lot of pain, drugged myself with over-the-counter remedies to an illegal level and soldiered on. Picked at a couple of things, didn't sleep again and woke up to thumping, pounding, shooting pains and nausea on Thursday. After being so tired and so empty and so exhausted for so many days I finally crumbled. Tears and tears, I gave in and made an appointment to see the dentist, my usual dentist. 
After some inspection and another lot of x-rays, he confirmed that my teeth were excellent, but some of my gums were so inflamed that they were higher that my teeth in my mouth. Well, that explained the pain alright. Toothache, or in this case, deep gum pain is a special hell all of its own. I have not felt so worn down, unwell, exhausted or overwhelmed by pain since I was in labour over thirteen years ago. It was BAD, so bad. I even had another good cry at the dentist's office and he felt so sorry for me that he called me at home (after hours) the next day to check on me. 
So my teeth were fine, it was a gum problem. I had to be referred to a periodontal expert to have a look as well, but even he was confused because the x-rays looked good. After examining my swollen and agonisingly tender mouth he concurred with what my dentist had said and also believed that some type of bacteria had entered my mouth during or just after the cleaning process when my gums were open, and that Dr Slaughter had caused trauma to my gum area by being too invasive. Basically I had a secondary infection of a fierce kind, one that required strong antibiotics and even stronger pain killers, which my dentist happily prescribed to me. 
Being keen to get some pain relief I went in hard on the drugs, which did give me a most welcomed nights sleep, but did also cause me to violently chunder into the garden on Friday morning after I took too many of them and then tried to drink a coffee. Live and learn. I am a bit of a prescription drug lightweight, and when you never have them, they work really well. So this weekend I have basically been lying about half out of my skull on pain relief and doing as little as possible. The antibiotics are working beautifully and everyday I get a significant reduction in pain and discomfort, so hallelujah to that! 
The lesson in all of this is? Don't ever go to a strange dentist, just organise the time off and see your usual one. Well, that's my take away from all of that anyway. Make an appointment at the slightest hint of 'after' pain before you start to contemplate self-surgery like I was and most importantly don't let one butcher put you off of going to the dentist forever, which is going to be my biggest hurdle now. Honestly, the thought of a dental check up right just sends shivers of dread straight down my spine! 
Thank God for Marvel, who was delivering another delightful instalment of super this weekend, honestly the distraction couldn't have arrived at a better time, and what a mighty fine distraction is was!