I have just returned from a weeks long holiday in the Northern Territory of Australia, primarily the Yulara area near Uluru. I travelled with a friend and it was both of our first times in the NT and also our first time travelling together; and to be 100% honest, it couldn't have been a more enjoyable trip. Everything, from the moment that we departed for the red centre to the time that we touched down back in Victoria went like clockwork. No hiccups, no problems and no distress, just a smooth sailing and very delightful holiday, and a mighty fine first introduction to the joys of the Northern Territory. 
In the space of six days we saw the three 'big' rocks of the area - Uluru, Atila and Kata Tjuta, all of which hold a special, strange and ancient magic to them. My favourite by far was Kata Tjuta also known as The Olga's which means 'many heads'. The rocks themselves look like sleeping indigenous giants at Kata Tjuta, and although I also loved Uluru, the sunrise at Kata Tjuta  is an undeniably spiritual place to be. I definitely felt like there was a strong spiritual presence at Kata Tjuta, something sacred and powerful; but all three rocks are kind of like an ancient holy trinity that really need to be seen to be fully appreciated. 
In spite of the incredible heat that we 'Ballaratarians' are most certainly not used to (Uluru was averaging 35 degrees most days) we still somehow managed to clock up over 85,000 steps in total which equates to over 66 kilometres of walking in six days, and some of those steps were done whilst walking (struggling, panting) straight up the side of Kings Canyon, which almost slayed me completely!
We also did some fantastic garden and bush tucker workshops to learn about the medicinal, culinary and cultural significance of the flora in the area, which I would highly recommend. And we enjoyed an amazing dot painting session with an indigenous elder woman called Evelyn who was a total boss. And now, thanks to Evelyn, I feel like I actually understand the stories in the indigenous paintings that I see. Needless to say, I have purchased one from a local to put up on my wall to commemorate my journey and can interpret everything that is featured in it as well. 
We took in the Field of Lights installation one evening, which houses over seven football fields of tiny colour changing lights that magically alter and shimmer against the darkness of the desert. We also managed to catch sight of most of the sunrises and sunsets which offer so many shades of pink, peach, purple, blue and gold, and some of the most incredible photo opportunities on the planet. 
We happily walked the base of Uluru, visited GOCA (the Gallery of Central Australia), went on a trip to Curtain Springs where we saw some of the vast Northern salt lakes, some cattle stations and a few wild brumbies. Then we got super gutsy and headed to King's Canyon where we did the full 3.5 hour rim walk in the blazing midday sun (death became me). And to top it all off we even learned all about 'The Dark Emu' in the sky, a dark space between the stars in the Milky Way that the local indigenous people navigate by.
In short, we had a hectic, heavenly and incredibly rewarding trip to the red centre that I would recommend that everyone should do at least once in their lifetime. It truly is a place like no other place that I have ever gone to before and I have some marvellous memories to keep from my adventures in the NT. From the red desert sands to the fields of wildflowers, from the giant monolithic rocks to the tiny lizards that scuttle about on their back legs and from the ritzy five star spa stays to the backpackers bar, there is something to suit everyone's taste, capability and price bracket in the NT. And what a gift it was to see it all with a dear friend and to have the time off to enjoy it completely. Feeling very grateful and also a little tired, but wow, what an amazing trip we had!

We all deserve to know our worth and we all deserve love, kindness and compassion. Often we are very good at providing this to others, but rarely are we very good at offering it to ourselves. In fact usually we are our own worst enemies, judging ourselves harshly and treating ourselves with a lot less respect and gentleness than we deserve. We willingly life up others but happily allow ourselves to suffer. 
But alas! I am growing tired of playing out all of the tired and un-desired tropes with myself. I am growing very, very tired of constantly judging myself and being unkind to myself; and I am choosing to do things differently. I am motivated by being happy, I am moved by self love and kindness and I know that I am good person who deserves to be proud of myself and kinder to myself. Some of the thigs that I have said and done to myself over the years have been utterly unacceptable and refuse to beat myself up any longer. So here, on the precipice of my 50th birthday , I am making a move to choose better for myself. I am taking steps to mend my own fences, set my own boundaries and love myself for who I am today.
And to help me to do that, I have made a list of things that I am going to start doing for myself. Not because I want to change, but because I deserve to unshackle myself from the deeply unkind and relentlessly mean ways that I have treated myself in the past. I deserve to choose better for myself. So from here on, I choose to:

• Surround myself with people who are good for my mental health.
• Increase the time I spend doing self care practises. 
• Talk respectfully about myself when I am speaking to other people.
• Listen to my body and give it what it needs before I worry about everyone else's needs.
• Stop feeling guilty when I do nice things for myself. 
• Accept the ebb and flow of my feelings without needing to project them onto others. 
• Set boundaries around how I let others speak and interact with me. 
• Ask for help when I need it.
• Love and respect my body shape and stop being insecure about the way that I look. 
• Accept that my past is a story of who I was and not who I am now. 
• Eat well and sleep well. 
• Forgive myself for all of the shitty things that I did while I was still under construction. 
• Stop over-reacting or being over-complacent. 
• Acknowledge my strengths and achievements. 

Okay, so it probably won't happen overnight, by I tell you, it will happen. I am heading into my power decade, I can feel it. No more messing about for me, I have wasted too many tears and way too many years not loving myself enough or respecting myself enough and quite frankly, I'm totally sick and tired of it!
It's time to choose better for me, I deserve it!

AFTERSUN
Release Date: 2022
Rating: M
Running Time: 102 mins
An autobiographical drama, written and directed by Charlotte Wells in her feature directorial debut. Aftersun premiered at the Cannes Film Festival in 2022 where it was nominated for the Golden Camera, and after receiving a BAFTA and Academy Award nomination, it was named one of the best films of 2022 by the National Board of Review. 
Calum is a young father about to turn 31, he is travelling with his 11 year old daughter, Sophie. They are vacationing together in Turkey, staying at a low budget resort and discovering things about each other and themselves along the way. 
Although Aftersun presents as a coming of age film, it is really about the gaps in generations and the times in our lives when we just 'don't seem to fit.' Sophie is a tween, struggling between being both too old and too young for so many things in life, and Calum, as a young single father, is as equally marooned as she is in social settings. Calum struggles with his depression that bubbles up from time to time, and he valiantly attempts to styme those feelings with his multitude of self help techniques and escapisms. Sophie, although young, is often in a role of support or tolerance and the whole film plays out with a melancholic reverence that is every bit as prickly as the feeling of after-sun upon the skin itself. 
I loved the glimpses of Sophie in the future, turning 31 herself and reflecting on her time with her young father, and I found the entire film profoundly affecting and deeply moving. Paul Mescal is incredibly good as Calum and Celia Rowlson-Hall beautifully delivers all of the nuance and sensitivity of Sophie with a wisdom that is well beyond her years.  Aftersun is definitely a film not to be missed. 
FINAL SAY:  I think  it's nice that we share the same sky. 
4.5 Chilli Peppers ​