How often do we hear about a relationship failing or a marriage ending in divorce? It seems to be happening more and more all of the time. Just last year 47,638 people got divorced in Australia, which means that 2.1% of the Australian population got divorced in 2017, and that doesn't even count the people that just seperated or broke up in a non-marital relationship. When you think about it in those terms, you do have to wonder if people are just giving up too soon on their relationships or if people are just picking the wrong partners to hook with up in the first place. 
The top ten most common reasons for getting a divorce are:

1. Getting married for the wrong reasons (eg. for the money) 
2. Lack of individual identity or codependence
3. Becoming lost in the roles 
4. Not having a shared vision
5. Lack of intimacy
6. Unmet expectations
7. Lack of finances
8. Being out of touch
9. No shared interests
10. Inability to resolve conflicts

Interestingly, no mention of infidelity there, so cheating or being unfaithful is not one of the main reasons that people break up, it is more about a lack of common ground and vision than anything else when you really look at it. Which is why I wonder if perhaps people just give up a little too easily.
I mean there must have been some common ground, shared vision, idea, expectation at some point for these two people to decided to walk down the aisle and pledge their undying love for each other in front of everyone that they knew, and I have to ask - what the hell happened to those feelings? How do two people that completely loved each other (enough to put themselves through a wedding) just  decide to stop loving each other and break up? Was there no sign that this person was going to do your head in before you went and married them? Did you just ignore that and go for it anyway? 
I know that some marriages are certainly better off ending than enduring, but I do think that maybe some people do quit a bit sooner than they should these days. The arrival of online dating and hookup opportunities has made a lot of people wonder if they are just settling, and the lure of a possibly 'better option' is definitely changing the amount of crap that people will put up with in a relationship. You can literally jump onto any dating website or download an app like Tinder and start looking for the next best thing right away after getting out of a relationship. People used to wait up to 3 years to start dating after a divorce but now some couples confess to being back on the dating scene within weeks of a separation in order to 'fill the space' that has been left behind, which is really quite concerning. 
41% of first marriages end in divorce now, 60% of second marriages and 73% of third marriages, which basically tells me that if it sucked the first time, it will probably suck the second and the third time around as well. And although I am not in any way advocating that you should never get married, divorced or remarried, what I am trying to say is that you need to make sure that it is really, truly and 100% absolutely what you want to do before you just start or end a serious relationship.
Breaking up sure is hard to do and staying together can be equally as hard if it just isn't working. I can tell you with all honesty that if I took flight everytime that my husband gave me the shits, that we would've been over a thousand times by now. Staying together takes work, a bloody shitload of hard work but you have to try, and if you've given it all that there is and it still isn't working than it is totally okay to walk away. Just don't give up too easily, because sometimes it's not as bad as it may seem at the time, and tempers, just like pie crust, soften after a few days and you don't want to throw away something really great because of a few hard yards. In short, what I am trying to say is, that it is totally okay to give up if it's really not working, but just don't give up too soon. 

There is nothing that you can do to slow down the growth and development of your children. One day you're trying to decide what kind of childcare would be appropriate for your precious little bundle and then the next thing you know you're preparing to watch them graduate from University. And you will have no idea what the hell happened to those years in between. It just happens, your kids just grow up and you have to ride it all out alongside of them, every nitty gritty and sometimes shitty moment of it. And trust me when I say that it is never, no matter how awesome your family dynamic may be, going to be terrific 100% of the time. 
There are going to be less than awesome days when your son or daughter is going to bitch slap you upside the head and tell you that they hate you or that you suck, which is of course bullshit because they never really hate you, they just hate the power that you have over them to make descisions for them; decisions that they are way too young to be responsibly making for themselves. But yeah, they are going to hate you for it, and you know what? That's okay. It is actually healthy to have a few power struggles with your kids, it's normal in any good and fruitful relationship to have a few power struggles. It's how families build trust and responsibility, and learn how to depend upon each other through the good and the bad times which only occurs when you are all riding it all out together, no matter what comes your way. 
I am always deeply concerned and also utterly perplexed when I hear parents nonchalantly talking about how their teenager has driven them so bonkers that they have had to kick them out or encouraged  them to move out or leave the house. Seriously, as a parent you don't get to check out - not ever! Never ever, no matter how bonkers your teenager may be making you. You cannot let them leave, you cannot toss them out and you cannot decide at any point (no matter how crapola things may appear to be) that you have had enough.
​Sorry, but you gave up your right to check out when you signed up to be a parent. There are no 'Get Out of Jail Free' cards when it comes to parenting. How your child decides to behave is pretty much irrelevant because you are the adult and you have to be the voice of reason, the harbour in the tempest and the example of 'how we do when shit isn't going awesome.' You have to take some shit on the chin from time to time and you absolutely (without fail) have to remember that when your kids are behaving at their worst, it's always because they are needing you the most. Especially teenagers, who are exceptionally loathe to asking for help or guidance because well...you know....they already know everything! And any sign of a chink in the armour would be extremely uncool as well, and god forbid any parent that is trying to make their teenager feel uncool!
Finding a happy medium where you are always holding on with one hand but also letting go with the other is really the only way to go as a parent I believe. You have to let them make some mistakes, but not too many. You have to let them fight their own battles, but not if they get too big. You have to let them be angry, but not all the time or for no good reason. You have to hug them when they are dreadful, encourage them when they want to give up and also be adult enough to admit that you're only human and that you have a multitude of your own shortcomings. Always apologise when you act like a dickhead yourself, don't ever hold grudges with your kids and never let them leave,  unless they absolutely have to, and even then make sure that they know that you would much prefer that they stay!
It's a tough gig being a good parent, but it's a bloody great gig too, and it's certainly not something that you would ever want to give up on, not for all the tea in China. 

Hollywood blockbuster movies have a way of making everything look glamorous, accessible and generally fun, even when they are actually promoting activities that are morally corrupt and/or highly illegal. There are literally countless films that glorify criminals for being absolute scumbags and we generally all buy into it, watching these movies and thinking how great life would be if we had the chance to be successful jewelry or car thieves, because it always looks so cool and even quite fun on the big screen. Think Baby Driver, Logan Lucky, Casino, American Ultra, Blow or Ocean's 8, I mean being bad never looked so good, right?
Movie producers are so damn good at glamorizing all kinds of seedy shit that they can just about fool anyone into thinking that anything (regardless of how genuinely unappealing it really is) is fun, fresh, interesting or even desirable. 
One movie in particular that people seem to really love (women especially) in spite of its clearly seedy message and utterly implausible outcomes (and I gotta say it really grinds my gears) is Pretty Woman with Julia Roberts. I absolutely despise that movie, it's my least favourite movie of all time by a long mile and I cannot tell you how many times some poor misguided woman has told me about how much they love that movie and how many times they have rewatched it because it is so romantic and blah...blah...blah... And then they always look so shocked when I give them my synopsis of the movie.
I like to point out that Julia Roberts basically plays a desperate whore in the movie Pretty Woman who took up prostitution because (apparently) she was shitty at everything else. She literally walks the streets with her crack whore best friend peddling sex for money to strange men. Richard Gere (her love interest) is obviously a dodgy as all fuck businessman that regularly picks up whores off the street, which is how he meets Roberts after he 'just happens' to be in the red light district and decides to give her a go. Gere decides to keep Roberts around to use for sex as he sees fit over the course of the next week (which he pays for in advance) after she gives him a clearly pretty good blowjob. Over the course of that week of paid sexworker employment, Roberts suffers from some unexplainable stockholm syndrome bullshit and decides that she loves Gere, which (apparently) has nothing do with his ridiculous stream of unending money that he likes to throw around. Her blowjobs are clearly insanely good, so Gere decides to keep Roberts on permanently, in a full time (without pay) sexworker capacity, and boom - it's happily ever after! And that is meant to be romantic? WTF? Worst movie EVER people, please stop watching this steaming shitpile and calling it good and/or romantic, it's toxic Hollywood bullshit! 
In fact, a lot of crime, war, action and yes, even romance movies actually do glamourize some pretty low brow stuff like organised crime, prostitution, theft, arms dealing, drug dealing, infidelity, harassment and misogyny and we often don't even bat an eye when we are watching it, in fact we like it, it looks dangerously cool. And I totally admit, I do like watching some pretty seedy shit, but you do have to draw the line somewhere.
So, if I ever, and I mean ever, start calling movies about prostitutes with stockholm syndrome deeply romantic, please do promptly slap me upside the head and tell me to shut the fuck up! 

OCEAN'S 8
Release Date: 2018
Rating: M
Running Time: 111 mins
A spin-off of Steven Soderbergh's Ocean's trilogy and proof that women can do heist comedies just as well as the men can. Ocean's 8  is directed by Gary Ross and written by Ross and Olivia Milch and offers viewers an easy 'feel good' ride with an entertaining all star cast.
Debbie Ocean, younger sister of the late Danny Ocean, gets paroled and plans a once in a lifetime heist that involves stealing a $150 million dollar Cartier necklace. To pull it all off, Debbie will require the assistance of a team of eight female criminals. 
​The cast in this is just dynamite and the onscreen chemistry of the lead actresses is what really carries this film. Sandra Bullock, Cate Blanchett, Anne Hathaway, Mindy Kaling, Sarah Paulson, Rihanna, Awkwafina and Helena Bonham Carter join forces perfectly as the eight criminal masterminds, and although the storyline fails to brings anything new to the table, I still thought that Ocean's 8 was a more than watchable 'chick flick' experience. 
FINAL SAY: You would've loved it. 
3 Chilli Peppers ​

The Queen's birthday long weekend has offered us all (especially old sicky me) an opportunity to batten down the hatches and focus on some rest, relaxation and that third and most important 'R' of all - realignment. After over a week of dragging myself out of bed and going to work feeling like a slapped together crap sandwich because of continually waking up in the middle of the night with either a feverish sweat or in a fit of coughing, I have finally reached the illustrious embrace of a long weekend.  
All week I have had this overwhelming feeling that the world and all of its trappings were way too big and awful for me, and that everything that I came up against was incredibly insurmountable. Of course this is just a side effect of being unwell and not getting enough rest, but that doesn't make it any less pleasant. So, I was literally holding out all week for this long weekend, propelling myself along in the knowledge that if just got through the week then I would be able to take a three day hiatus from all responsibility and the need to wander any further than the couch and the bed.
So I soldiered on as the Codral cold and flu tablets told me to do and then promptly fell into a heap on the couch on Friday night and have spent an extraordinary amount of time there ever since. And I don't even feel robbed of my long weekend because not only do I need to spend three days on the couch I also want to spend three days on the couch. I literally do not want to do anything, even making a coffee and a toasted sandwich seems like an unnecessary use of my time. The only thing that I want to do this weekend is rest, relax and realign, which for me involves many movies, some ipad, a few naps, a little yoga, a bit of journaling, a spot of reading and a lot of cuddles from my cat. Everything else is ...meh...not necessary, it can wait. 
For the first time ever in my life, I actually said no to catching up with friends this weekend, which I never do. Generally a long weekend means lots of quality catch up time with friends for me. A coffee here, a trip to the cinema there, a dinner date; I am usually happily booked up to the wazoo when the breaks happen, but this time I had to listen to my body which was screaming at me for some couch time and decline some really lovely invitations from dear friends. I have to say, it wasn't easy to say no and choose me first, it's not something that I am used to doing, but it was absolutely necessary. Sometimes saying no isn't selfish, it really is necessary and perhaps that is the biggest lesson that this whole illness has taught me. 
At times, choosing yourself is the only way to thrive in this world. Our bodies are actually sending us signals all of the time but we are often too busy to receive them, either that or we just ignore them anyway. We generally tend to give our thoughts and nagging sense of responsibility a lot more consideration than our real feelings (physical or mental) and I think that much to my own detriment, I am often quite guilty of doing that.
Mindful practises are exceptionally handy for tuning yourself back into you when things get pear shaped, but let's be honest, no-one is being very mindful when they are sick and usually everything just goes to the window (including your zen) when you're unwell. And that is why this weekend has been so important for me, it's a chance to get everything back in order all over again and reboot my flagging system. I am hoping that by Tuesday morning at 8.25am when I pull back into the carpark at work that I will feel ready to face the world once again, somewhat rejuvenated and much more healthy than I left last week, fingers crossed!
Oh, and on side note, in my pursuit of light-hearted couch dwelling entertainment this weekend, I did come across a little hidden gem. If you get the chance to hit he couch yourself anytime soon, I recommend that you check it out. 

Lord may the people that I love forgive me for my crappy, moody, snappy, intolerant, angry and miserably sick temperament this week. I am utterly exhausted and spent in every single way and I am also still so damn sick, sick, sick! I cannot even recall the last time that I felt this shithouse, because I am pretty sure that I would have wiped it completely from my memory. I mean who would want to remember a time when they felt this dreadful? This lurgy that I have contracted has the staying power of an unwanted houseguest and it is one nasty bitch! 
And I tell you that the hits, well they just keep on coming this week! From work to home there hasn't been a lot of rainbows to enjoy lately, just a constant deluge of drama and mishap. However, to be fair, I do have the constitution and coping skills of a three year old at the moment, so I am certainly not at my strongest, my most sound or my most logical at present, so things may not be as bad as I am imagining them to be.
Let's see, I haven't had a good night's sleep in four days, I've been pushed well outside of my comfort zone at work, it feels like I have a brick planted firmly on my chest, I have a constant cough that will not respond to anything that I've thrown at it, I've offended the people that I care about because I am a cantankerous sick bitch, I sound like Bonnie Tyler after a ten day bender and just to add a cherry to this already very festering pie, it's my time of the month as well. Yep, I am not exaggerating or imagining this, things are definitely leaning towards fucking horrible. 
You really know how sweet you had it when shit like this happens. Right now I would kill for a decent night's sleep and for the pain in my chest to relent. I would like to speak without feeling like an 80 year old smoker and most of all I would really like an easy day, but alas....we can't always get what we want. So for now, my family has to put up with me being a total psycho, my body has to put up with feeling like it has been run over by a semitrailer and I need to keep looking towards the horizon because I just know that brighter days are coming. 

Spicywatch.com celebrated it's fourth birthday last night with a small but extremely supportive group of wonderful family and friends. I have now reviewed more than 720 movies that are totally worthy of your viewing time, I have rolled out more than 410 blog entries, generated around 5,000 readers and I have been to the movies so many times that I think the proprietors are considering offering me shares in the business. And most importantly, I have loved every single minute of it.
I have adored watching all of movies that I have sat through to get me to this point, even the really bad ones. I have loved hooking up with friends at the cinema and dragging my family along to the movies every other week. I have loved sharing my thoughts and the events of my life with all of my readers on my blog and I have loved the process of building up an almanac of worthy and 'spicy' movies for others to consider watching. 
Last night the theme of the evenings celebrations was comedy, and everyone was encouraged to share their favourite comedy scene or funny moment in a movie with the group. We watched scenes from old but still hilarious classics like Duck Soup and Young Frankenstein as well as modern comedies like Bridesmaids, Nacho Libre, Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle, Mr Bean's Holiday, Rat Race, The Wedding Singer, Kung Fu Hustle, What We Do In The Shadows and Clerks. Even the unlikely thriller American Psycho managed a look in with Christian Bale's raincoat wearing "Hip to be Square" routine.
There was much laughter and hilarity, and it was really lovely to be able to share a couple of drinks and some good company in the name of Spicywatch.com. I have really been overwhelmed by how supportive and positive everyone has been of my website, which really has been a labour of love for me and sometimes a bit of writing therapy from time to time as well. I really have poured a lot of my spare time and energy into maintaining  Spicywatch.com and the continued support of my readers has been incredibly overwhelming and deeply meaningful to me.
Dear readers, without your support Spicywatch.com may not have made it any further than it's first birthday. Your shared interest in quality cinema and commitment to reading my constant rants has meant more to me than words could ever really express. From the bottom of my heart, I thank you so much my lovely spicywatch supporters and I will certainly endeavour to keep offering you more experiences of cinematic worthiness, along with the contents of my head, in the years ahead. 
Keep on watching, and please do keep on reading xxx

I read a really startling article in The Guardian this week that was all about the research that is being done around the theory of children being 'born bad.' In the article, a psychiatrist named Dr Essi Viding, from the Social, Genetic and Developmental Psychiatry Centre at King's College in London said, that research has shown that some children actually inherit antisocial disorders from their parents and that their poor behaviour is not caused by bad parenting or a bad environment.
Being 'born bad' has now been scientifically proven to be a real thing and a lot of antisocial behaviours that children display are actually caused by a child's genetic makeup. Sure, if these vulnerable children are then exposed to poor parenting and a less than nurturing environment then their psychopathic tendencies are most certainly exacerbated, but even without those influences there are some poor kids out there that are definitely behind the genetic eight ball when it comes to having their shit together and mastering the ability to make good and appropriate social choices. 
The research was based on the psychiatrists analysis of 3,687 pairs of seven year old identical twins. Apparently identical twins are the best candidates for this type of comparison research due to the fact that they share exactly the same genes and therefore the same inherited influences. Anyway, long story short, from the data that they collated, they have identified that yes, some children are in fact 'born bad.' 
This information makes me feel really conflicted. On one hand I feel dreadfully sad that there are kids out there that are just 'born bad'  because I have always been a firm believer that  no child is ever truly 'born bad' but rather 'made bad' by influence and environment, which is still certainly possible, but it is clearly not always the case according to this study. 
And then on the other hand I feel really hopeful and quite excited about what this new research has uncovered because it means that specialists will be able to pinpoint potential problems very early on for these poor children, probably even before they are born. Which in turn will mean that we will be able to offer better forms of early intervention and support, and hopefully head off the big problems before they have a chance to really manifest. 
I suppose that this type of research can only be seen as a positive step forward, but there is something about an unborn child being labelled as 'bad' that makes me feel pretty damn uncomfortable. Maybe the word 'bad' needs to be changed up for something that has a lot less connotations attached to it, but 'disadvantaged' or 'potentially dangerous' doesn't really sound a lot better does it? Maybe we should just stamp a biohazard symbol onto their poor little heads when they pop out into the world so that we can easily identify them? 
Seriously though, as much as we all want early intervention and prevention, do we really want to be labeling 'bad' kids prenatal? All that I know for sure is that there will definitely need to be a lot of diplomacy and privacy around the handling of this information in the future, so that our so called 'bad' kids can have the same opportunities as our so called 'good' kids in this world. 

It is with great sadness that the summer holiday period has reached its inevitable end. It has been an absolutely glorious summer break with more than adequate time for celebration, procrastination and self indulgence of every variety. I would be lying if I said that I didn't feel totally rejuvenated and ready to face a return to responsibility, I have spent more than my fair share of time lounging about and doing what I like; so come tomorrow morning when the alarm goes off, I shall rise without complaint and begin a new year of workplace adventures. 
I am actually filled with a mixture of excitement, anticipation and anxiety about returning to work this year because not only am I starting at a totally new workplace, but I am also taking on a completely new role on top of that. I have tried to prepare for my new role by diligently practicing Braille at home everyday over the break and reading everything that I could get my hands on about supporting blind students in the classroom, but at the end of the day nothing is going to help me to learn better and faster than 100% immersion. Without  a doubt, there will be many challenges to be tackled and bridges to cross along the way, but I am going to give it my very best effort and attention, so I look forward to some victories and triumphs along the road ahead as well. 
Meeting a whole swag of new people in a completely new work environment is certainly going to prove extremely interesting for me. I don't like to sway too far from my well trodden social circles and comfort zones, so the staff side of things will more than likely prove to be one of the most challenging parts of this new adventure. However, to combat the spazz in me, I have been really investing a lot of time over the holidays in refining my mindfulness practises, meditations and positive visualisation techniques, and I think that these practises will serve me well in this scenario. If I can keep calm and 'seem' calm then I should be able to stop myself from coming across like a totally panic stricken loon, which is kind of the worst case scenario when meeting new work colleagues. 
There does seem to be a healthy middle ground when entering a new workplace, and I haven't been in  that zone for almost decade so I can really only call the examples of others in the 'what to do' and 'what not to do' stakes on this one. However, what I have learnt through years of 'newster' observation is that you cannot be too cool or aloof and you most definitely cannot be too confident either, that is a massive off-putter. Nothing gets people's tongues  in a workplace waggling faster than a new know-it-all! It can take years to bounce back from that shit, I've seen it happen to people before. 
Treading the middle ground is always the safest bet in a new workplace, and remembering to only speak when you need to and remaining quiet when you don't. Don't talk about yourself or your past other than answering those obligatory questions that everyone asks about children and the like, and most importantly of all, in all new interactions, let them talk at length about themselves uninterrupted no matter how boring or uninteresting it may seem, and say things like uh-huh regularly and nod and smile a lot. Easy! No, really not easy at all, bloody terrifically terrifying actually, but I got this.....I got this.....well, I will tell you if 'I got this' or not next time I blog anyway. Wish me luck! 

SPY
Release Date: 2015
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 119 mins 
Written and directed by Paul Feig, this action spy comedy really took me surprise. Let's be honest, Melissa McCarthy movies have been pretty hit and miss. Ever since she first gained momentum off the steam of Bridesmaids, she has appeared in some appallingly bad comedies, and I was starting to think that she was a one trick pony, but here is all the evidence that anyone will ever need to support the fact that she has some seriously good comedic ability.
Desk-bound CIA agent Susan Cooper (McCarthy) heads out into the field in an attempt to avenge her partners murder and foil the black market sale of a suitcase nuke. 
Even with the ridiculous and unlikely plot-line, this film still delivers. There are more than a few raucous laughs to be enjoyed and the strong cast of well known actors are tremendously funny. Jason Statham, Allison Janney, Rose Byrne and Miranda Hart are all on their A game here, delivering a tidy and terrible funny comedy that shouldn't be missed. 
FINAL SAY: I look like someone's homophobic aunt! 
​4 Chilli Peppers ​

It's that time again, the time for me to unleash my viewing loves and loathes for the year of 2017. In total, I watched 279 movies and 62 TV series in 2017, so yeah, it is fair to say that I have a robust addiction to entertainment and that I have a fairly good idea of what is out there.
My biggest undertaking for the year was a rewatch of the entire Lost Series, 121 episodes in total, and although it took me the better part of the entire year to get through, it was worth the effort. Next to the Twin Peaks Reboot, Lost was the next biggest mind fuck of the year for me.
I must say that the bar raises every single year for me because movies and TV are constantly improving in quality and there is a never ending stream of excellent viewing to be had. That makes it a lot harder for me to discern the best,  but also a lot more enjoyable in the long run.
However, without further ado, here are my picks for the best and worst of 2017, my full reviews of these movies can be found on their corresponding genre lists. 
BEST MOVIES OF 2017:

• IT  - Horror  4.5 Chilli Peppers
• A Ghost Story - Art House 4.5 Chilli Peppers
• Mother! - Challenging 4.5 Chilli Peppers
• Blade Runner 2049 - Science Fiction 4.5 Chilli Peppers
• Baby Driver - Action 4 Chilli Peppers
• Dunkirk - War 4 Chilli Peppers
• Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2 - Fantasy 4 Chilli Peppers
• Logan - Super 4 Chilli Peppers
• Get Out - Horror 3.5 Chilli Peppers
• A Dark Song - Horror 3.5 Chilli Peppers
• T2 - Trainspotting - Drama 3.5 Chilli Peppers
• Logan Lucky - Action/Comedy 3.5 Chilli Peppers

BEST CATCH UP MOVIES OF 2017: (Movies released before 2017 that I finally saw in 2017)

• La Grande Bellezza (The Great Beauty) - Foreign 5 Chilli Peppers (Hall of Fame)
• Manchester by the Sea - Drama 5 Chilli Peppers (Hall of Fame)
• Moonlight - Drama 4.5 Chilli Peppers
• Arrival - Science Fiction 4.5  Chilli Peppers
• Nocturnal Animals  -Drama 4.5  Chilli Peppers
• Hidden Figures - Drama 4  Chilli Peppers
• Moana - Kid Friendly 4  Chilli Peppers
• The Edge of Seventeen -Comedy 4 Chilli Peppers
• The Conjuring 2 - Horror 4 Chilli Peppers
• Captain Fantastic - Drama 4 Chilli Peppers
• Samson and Delilah - Gritty 4 Chilli Peppers
• The House of the Devil - Horror 3.5 Chilli Peppers
• The Mermaid - Foreign/ Fantasy 3.5 Chilli Peppers

WORST MOVIES OF 2017:

• Kong: Skull Island - Fantasy 2 Chilli Peppers
• The Great Wall - Action/ Fantasy 1.5 Chilli Peppers
• The Ghost in the Shell - Science Fiction 1.5 Chilli Peppers
• A Cure for Wellness - Horror 1.5 Chilli Peppers
• Loving - Drama 1.5 Chilli Peppers
• Valerian and the City of a 1,000 Planets - Science Fiction 1.5 Chilli Peppers
• Baywatch - Comedy 1.5 Chilli Peppers
• Yoga Hosers  -Comedy 1 Chilli Pepper
• The Bye Bye Man  - Horror 0 Chilli Peppers
• The Greasy Strangler - Art House 0 Chilli Peppers

BEST TV SERIES 2017:

• Big Little Lies - Drama 5 Chilli Peppers
• The Handmaid's Tale - Drama/ Fantasy 5 Chilli Peppers
• American Gods - Horror/ Fantasy 5 Chilli Peppers
• Atlanta - Drama 4.5 Chilli Peppers 
• Godless - Western 4.5 Chilli Peppers
• Game of Thrones S7  - Fantasy 4.5 Chilli Peppers
• Stranger Things S2 - Science Fiction 4.5 Chilli Peppers
• Twin Peaks Reboot - Art House 4 Chilli Peppers 
• Mozart in the Jungle - Drama 4 Chili Peppers 
• Alias Grace - Historical Drama 4 Chilli Peppers 
• AHS - Cult - Horror 4 Chilli Peppers
• Peaky Blinders S4 - Historical Drama 4 Chilli Peppers
• Better Things - Comedy 4 Chilli Peppers
• A-Typical - Drama 3.5 Chilli Peppers
• Girls - Final Season - Drama 3.5 Chilli Peppers
• The Sinner - Mystery/Drama 3.5 Chilli Peppers

As far as bad TV series go, well I was so busy watching really high quality TV that I managed to miss all of the shit this year, so I'm not even putting in a category for that. To be honest, I think that this year may have been one of the best of years for quality TV that I have ever known, which fills me with a lot of hope for 2018. 
Hopefully you will find something on my lists that you haven't seen yet and will now go and see on my recommendation. Also, you now know what to avoid like the plague if you should have the misfortune of coming across it.
I hope that the holiday period is being kind to you all, happy viewing!

IT
Release Date: 2017
Rating: R 18+
Running Time: 135 mins 
A supernatural horror directed by Andy Muschietti and based on the highly successful 1986 novel of the same name by Stephen King. Clearly audiences are thirsting for excellent retro horror tales because IT swiftly became the highest grossing horror film of all time and the third highest grossing R rated movie of all time. 
It's 1988 in a small American town called Derry and something insidious is lurking in the sewers; an ancient evil that feeds on the fears of children and presents itself as a clown called Pennywise. Seemingly invisible to adults, Pennywise starts to abduct the children of Derry, and turns its sights on a tight group of friends called The Losers Club. 
With all of the terrific friendship dynamics  and comradery of The Goonies, Stranger Things and Stand By Me  and all of the creepiness of a James Wan horror, IT has a formula that works on so many levels. Not only is there a creepy as all shit clown torturing the children, but all of the adults in Derry seem to be rather unpleasant as well which adds another layer of turmoil to this already emotionally affecting tale. 
IT is most definitely the best horror movie to come out of 2017. The acting is on point, with Bill Skarsgard delivering one of the most memorably disturbing horror characters of all time in Pennywise. He is however exceptionally well supported by a young and fresh faced cast who are all bringing their A game here as well, with notable performances being delivered by Finn Wolfhard, Sophia Lillis, Nicholas Hamilton and Jeremy Ray Taylor.
The visuals are certainly dark, dreadful and nightmarish; but the coming of age story that is playing in the background is not at all drowned out by the grim effects, which was really pleasing to see. IT is a true horror gem and a must see movie for fans of quality horror.
FINAL SAY: We all float down here. 
4.5 Chilli Peppers ​

 The past seven days have been one of the biggest weeks that I have had in a very long time. It has been an absolute roller coaster of events, emotions and endings. Thank goodness that Zoe had Seth in Geelong for the better part of it all because I was hardly even home, and when I was home, I was emotional, exhausted, distracted and stupidly busy as I ran the gauntlet of farewells and also tried to prepare for Christmas. I was hitting the hay in the wee early hours and rising again by 5.45am each day, and now I am pretty burnt out. 
On Friday I said my fond farewells at work to everyone and boy was that tough. It was the most surreal feeling walking out of work and then driving out of the car park for the very last time, it is amazing how attached you get to even the most mundane of things after nine years. It is certainly a place that I have poured my blood, sweat and tears into, but it is also a place that has helped me to grow in every way, and I know that I am a much better person now than I was nine years ago because of the incredible friendships, challenges and triumphs that I have experienced through my time at work. It was certainly an extraordinary team to be a part of, I have never worked anywhere like it before and I am taking with me the most wonderful memories and friendships that will last a lifetime. 
And now I can turn my attentions, because Christmas Eve has arrived! Rejoice, it is time to put aside all worry and care, because it is Christmas time! I look forward to Zoe and Lachlainn arriving soon to share in the pre-Christmas celebrations with us at here in Enfield. A small window left now for final wrappings, food preparations, Christmas movies, festive cocktails and generally embracing all of the awesomeness that Christmas brings. Christmas Eve has a certain magical quality to it that cannot be denied and the anticipation of the season is at its most palpable and delightful on this one day of the year.
I adore getting people that I love together to share great food and company with me, and Christmas always provides those opportunities in abundance, it is just a really blissful time to spend with family and it is always a highlight and fitting end to the year for me. To all of my wonderful Spicywatch readers, I wish you all a very bright and merry Christmas. I hope you enjoy the season with loved ones, that your stocking and wine glass is filled to the brim and I also hope that you get to indulge in some good food, great company and general Christmas cheer. Enjoy every moment, may the season treat you well xx.

CRACKERS
Release Date: 1998
Rating: PG
Running Time: 92 mins 
If you aren't Australian then this movie will not appeal to you at all, and if you are Australian you will be mildly amused by the Aussie anecdotes and behaviours. Not the best but certainly not the worst Christmas movie to ever have been made, Crackers attempts to demonstrate a traditional Aussie Christmas and enjoys a certain level of success in doing so. 
Young Joey is forced to endure Christmas with his mum's new boyfriend and son at his grandparents home in the suburbs. Joey makes fast friends with his estranged and eccentric great grandfather, who teaches him a thing or two about life. 
There are some really great moments in this film, most of them delivered by Warren Mitchell who plays the eccentric grandpa Albert, and the general feel of the film will be relatable for most Australians. Unfortunately, some of the humour is just too cheesy to take seriously and the plot is mostly built around antiquated cliques, but for a Christmas movie it is more than adequate. 
FINAL SAY: Hit me but don't shit me. 
2.5 Chilli Peppers

This weekend, between drinking too much alcohol and going to see the David LaChapelle photography exhibition, I had an extensive  colour consultation done to find out which colours suit me the best and enhance my natural colourings the most. Turns out, much to my surprise, that I am a 'Warm Summer' person, which basically has a colour palette that resembles the colours that you might see in The Mists of Avalon, really muted tones that have very little saturation and generally look like they have been a bit washed out.
This came as a massive surprise to me because a lot of my wardrobe is far from what I would call muted, so I have clearly not been dressing to my full potential when it comes to colour. Does that mean that I am going to toss out my entire wardrobe and start again? Good lord no! Not only do I not have the resources to do anything that drastic, but I really don't want to do that either because I actually like a lot of my very loud and bright clothes; but it has given me some food for thought and I will definitely be pulling out my 'Warm Summer' colour palette when I go clothes shopping from now on. 
When you are wearing things from your personal colour palette you just look healthier and have more of a glow about you. The wrong colours can make you look pasty, yellowish or even green; and certainly do not give you a glow but will instead make you look blotchy, puffy and generally unwell. Who knew that the colours that you wear could have such a huge affect on the way that you look? Believe me, I didn't, but after seeing a variety of very wrong colours on me compared to right ones, I can see how it does indeed make a huge difference. 
Some people may call it malarkey, but there is most definitely a science to colour and knowing which hues will make you pop is a very useful weapon to have in your arsenal. So as much as I love to rock out in monochromatic looks, turns out that they are most definitely not what I should be rocking out in at all; and my usual way of dressing may need a bit of an overhaul over the next twelve months. I do love a good purge, and this feels a lot like a an opportunity for reinvention! 

​​​SIDEWAYS
Release Date: 2004
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 126 mins 
Alexander Payne delivers the quintessential road trip 'buddy' movie with a mature, fresh and charming new spin, that I found absolutely delightful. Speckled with a good measure of humour, this tale of self realisation comes on like a good Pinot Noir and never flounders or feels forced in any way. This is truly unmissable, intelligent drama. 
Miles and Jack, two middle aged friends, embark on a road trip through California's wine country in a final hoo-rah before Jack gets married. 
Paul Giamatti and Thomas Haden Church are at their absolute best here, in what is essentially a character study movie, where friendship and life truths are set beneath the microscope. Strong support is offered from Sandra Oh and Virginia Madsen, but at the end of the day, this film is all about the two men and their struggle to accept the realities of their own lives. 
FINAL SAY: If they want to drink Merlot, we're drinking Merlot!
4.5 Chilli Peppers ​

Every now and then a trend or look comes into play that is totally of the moment. And because it looks amazing on a few gorgeous, young and thin individuals, it rapidly becomes desirable, but it is most definitely not a look that is going to suit everyone. Unfortunately, many people in the world do not worry about whether or not this latest fad will suit their body type or skin type or general sense of self; they just jump in head first and go hard at trying to achieve this desired look, totally abandoning all sense of their own style and producing some truly hideous results. 
When it comes to fashion trends and fads, one size definitely does not fit all, in fact one size generally fits a very limited few and that limited few are probably not living in your neighbourhood. Just because it works brilliantly on Lady Gaga, that does not mean that it will work on you. In fact, if you saw a desired look on Kate Moss, Nicki Minaj, Kim Kardashian, Miley Cyrus, Angelina Jolie, Bjork or Mariah Carey, then I can tell you right now, it is more than likely not a good look for you. Not only can the rich and famous get away with a shit load more fashion faux pas than you can, they have people specially making their clothes for them, tailoring everything to fit them perfectly, so even if the fashion choices that they make are downright disgusting, at least they can appear to be doing it with style when they do fuck up. You do not have access to that kind of primping and preening, and you probably don't have the bodily dimensions of the aforementioned women either, so just leave that shit alone. 
Now don't get me wrong, I know that we need style icons and we most definitely need people that are willing to push fashion boundaries by being explorative and creative with clothing, however that does not mean that you should invest in a meat dress any time soon, nor should you be wearing purple shiny hot pants anytime soon either, odds are that you do not fall into the 0.05 % of the population that can actually pull that look off; so please do not try to.
I think that with fashion you should try to steer away from copying the stylings and fashion trends of others anyway. If you really have a genuine desire to be fashion forward then start by being creative with your own wardrobe and sense of style. Be inventive, be brave and above all be original. Trying to replicate fashion looks and styles rarely, if ever, turns out well. Trends are just that, trends, they don't last. Invent your own sense of style and stay true to that and you'll avoid a lot of terrible choices along the way. 
Bright orange tans, tight perms and bad dye jobs, super mini skirts, flesh toned leggings, fluro leg warmers, over plucked eyebrows, hair scrunchies and cheap extensions, Crocs, boob tubes, jelly sandals....the list could go on forever. And let's be honest we have all been there and done that, we've all fallen victim to the ebbs and flows of fashion trends and popularity; and it is not until years later when we review the photos that we realise just how terrifically horrid we looked at the time. 
Invest in some timeless, quality, classic pieces that can go with lots of different things, mix and match your wardrobe, learn to love your shape whatever it is, have pride in dressing yourself comfortably and well, and take a few of your own fashion risks from time to time. You don't need to follow fashion fads to find your own sense of style, you just need a desire to rock what you've got. 

Recently on Triple J there was some discussion about Public Displays of Affection or 'PDA' for short. This is a topic that really seems to divide people on what they think is publicly acceptable and what is just taking things too far when it comes to getting up close and personal in public places. 
Interestingly, there is actually a general etiquette or social expectation in our country when it comes to the topic which is designed to make sure that everyone's comfort levels are respected and that no-one gets arrested for indecent exposure. However, in spite of the guidelines, I'm pretty certain that everyone actually has their own beliefs and individual comfort levels when it comes to PDA. Sometimes the differences are defined by cultural beliefs or upbringing or a person's level of comfort with touchy-feely things. For others it can be the heat of the moment and the law of attraction that dictates what is acceptable at any given moment. For example, someone getting hot and heavy at a nightclub after a skin full of vodka seems like a lot less of a big deal than macking on out the front of local church on a Sunday morning, but that's just my opinion and you may well disagree. 
Personally a bit of public pashing in the park is not really a big deal for me, but rubbing up against each other like a couple of cats in heat and anything that leaves one feeling breathless is taking things too far, that's 'get a room' stuff. Generally for me, public groping is a no-no and touching people on any of the private parts of their bodies in front of others is just not okay in public at all. Licking and biting each other is not something that I want to be seeing in the aisles of Kmart and if I see a tongue when people are kissing each other in front of me I am not in my comfort zone any more. 
The most explicit public display of affection that I have seen was on a stretch of grass in the city of Rome where I saw a man with both of his hands thrust straight up the front of a woman's shirt as he busily fondled her breasts whilst lying on top of her and eating her face off. They were clearly getting hot and heavy and were getting a lot of toots from passing cars as they went about their business. I thought that it was hilarious, but I didn't have any kids or my nanna with me, so it really didn't worry me; it certainly wasn't bothering them that everyone could see their passion for each other that's for sure. And maybe that kind of thing is okay in Italy, how would I know? But I have never seen anything quite so intense in Australia before.
We have all been around couples that are fresh in love (or lust) with each other and cannot keep their hands off each other for a minute, I did it myself when I was younger. A bit of touchy-feely is not really that big of a deal for me, it's okay depending on the time and the place. I think that as long as the couple are considerate of the comfort levels of other people in their space, then things usually don't stray too far out of left field. Some people say that if you wouldn't do it in front of your grandmother than it is not okay to do in public, which probably does have some grain of truth to it. Odds are there will be an oldie around when you are in full on pash mode, so unless you're at a dimly lit nightclub at 4am you should probably put a lid on that shit until you are no longer in the public eye. 

Don't you hate it when the world gives you an unexpected and swift slap in the face? You know how it works, we've all been there before; you're just cruising around feeling pretty good about your place in the world and then wallop, you get a kick to the head that makes your eyes water for a few days. Not a literal kick to the head, a figurative one, like a comment or something of the sort that makes you feel like shit about yourself. I had one last week, and it stung something awful if I'm being honest, but it happens from time to time and you just have to keep calm and carry on. 
These types of things are great for checking in with your personal levels of resolve and your ability to weather less than pleasant tidings, but essentially I am just trying to find the positive, mostly they are just crap and when they come from someone that you work with they can make you lose your mojo in the workplace.
Places of business are notorious for slapping the confidence and ego off people, I have never had a job yet where someone didn't challenge me personally or try to assert their authority over me in a negative way, no job comes with a perfectly designed staff at your disposal. Most workplaces are actually very competitive and things can get pretty nasty, but mostly I don't get very many slaps where I work, just a sneaky one from time to time. Perhaps that is why they sting so badly, the lack of frequency and unpredictability could be what makes them so jarring. 
In general though, I take criticism very, very badly. I can't stand it when someone has a poke at me, it really gets to me. I am not even a fan of constructive criticism, it's still bloody criticism isn't it? So I don't want to hear about it! I like to live in my own rose coloured bubble as much as I can, but everyone knows that is not how the world operates, so from time to time I get a smack down. And then I take it personally, very personally. I brood about it for days and then I eventually build a bridge and get over it. I don't forget it that easily though, in the past I would NEvER forget any criticism that I got. I would store it all in the 'crap feelings' folder that I had stored away in my brain, which I kept under lock and key. Every now and then, a little slice of shit will seep out and make me underestimate myself again. Thankfully,  I don't hang onto the negative stuff that much anymore; 99% of the time I keep it all in check, but I cannot deny that I still hate being criticized and that I generally don't really handle it very well.
I think that I am actually a pretty forgiving person most of the time, unless you push me too far or insult me too deeply, and then that's it for me. If that happens, I will literally slam the door in anyone's face; friend, family or foe. It's a total ice out, a full on shutdown of all interaction, and the door will not re-open ever again if I get to that point, no matter how hard you may try, I will never be back on board and we never have a friendship again. It is worth noting that you would have to really fuck me over for that to happen, but it has happened before, more than once or twice actually because I just cannot tolerate shady assholes in my life.
I would rather sever a toxic relationship than tolerate one, but in the workplace you don't get to have that luxury. In the workplace, you have to take the slaps and you have to suck them up, and that takes a lot of effort some days. However, over time I think that I have learnt to bounce back a lot faster from the criticisms and I've also learned to let the negative things roll off me like water off a duck's back, it is just so much easier than holding onto everything. So, I'm just gonna rub that slapped cheek a little and let it go, it's not really that big of a deal. I'm well aware that it's just my stupid pride that lets it sting as much as it does. 

PRIDE
Release Date: 2014
Rating: M
Running Time: 120 mins 
More of a 'feel good' movie than a comedy, but certainly an enjoyable re-tell of the unlikely bond that occurred between the UK Miner Strikers and the Gay and Lesbian Equal Rights Movement during the 1980's. The Brits have a fantastic knack for producing uplifting crowd-pleaser films like this, and Pride will definitely leave you with a overwhelming desire to stand up and cheer. 
Gay activists make an impact on the miners during their National Union of Mineworkers strike in the Summer of 1984, by raising lots of money to aid their plight. United by their oppression, the gays and the miners seek to make a difference and rise up against the haters, both locally and politically. 
As you would expect, this union produces some obvious opportunities for joyful gay support, and also some hateful gay bashing, which is often a rather nasty side effect of LGBT films that are set in the 70's and 80's. However, for the most part, this is a really well thought out and tasteful depiction of a fascinating and inspirational piece of history. 
FINAL SAY: Miners dig for coal, which produces power, which allows gay people like you to dance to Bananarama 'til 3 o'clock in the morning. 
3.5 Chili Peppers ​

Made it! New South Wales Road Trip 2017 is completed....all the way from here to there and then all the way back again as well.... meaning all the way to Sydney and beyond (somewhere near Tuggerah) and all the way back to Enfield. About 24 hours of driving in total, which included loads of bad coffee, numerous truck stop dunnies and way too many gross food encounters at fast food outlets along the way for my liking, but mostly it was just a whole lot of good fun, especially travelling with my two weirdo kids, they are such amazingly good company and being with them for the duration was just fantastic.
We stayed with some of Craig's family up on the Central Coast which allowed for some chill out time on the beach. We managed to collect shells, take in some salty air and have a stroll along the sand together, which is always a lovely thing to do, even in the Autumn time when swim suits are clearly not required. 
On a day trip to the city, Zoe and Seth got their first up close glimpse of Circular Quay, The Sydney Opera House and The Sydney Harbour Bridge. Zoe was fascinated that The Opera House was covered in white tiles, which is something that you never realise until you see it up close, but Seth was more interested in the historical Man o' War Steps that float and continuously shift about in the harbour. We all enjoyed some fish n' chips on the grass at the First Fleet Park where the bin chickens (ibis) flock around in droves hoping for the smallest hint of a bit of tossed batter. Zoe found them incredibly intimidating and Seth kept encouraging their antics by continuing to feed them discarded chips, needless to say it wasn't the most relaxing lunch that we've ever had. We ended the day with a wander around The Rocks and a giggle when we spotted the restaurant where The Real Housewives of Sydney's infamous Athena X had her fishnet cape tossed into the harbour. 
You never really know what you will encounter when you go on a road trip. We listened to podcasts, playlists and each other for hours on end and we also managed to see a giant merino ram in Goulbin, a huge land-bound submarine in Holbrook, a number of 'off track' unsealed roads thanks to my crapola GPS and a tonne of shithouse drivers. Some drivers that we encountered were either really tired, really drunk or really stupid, or maybe even a combination of those three things; and even though we had a great time, it was so nice to get home and finally get out of the car on the last day of our trip, the day that we drove for over 12 hours with very few breaks. I was so tired on that final stretch home that I had to consume a lot of coffee and chocolate to get me through, but I tell ya, it works - caffeine and sugar - it's the stuff of champions and long haul drives. 
So that's it for long drives for me for a while. I did a short stint to Bacchus Marsh to celebrate Ukrainian Easter with my family today, and the 45 minute trip each way barely seemed like any effort for an old pro like me now, as easy as a walk in the park, and just as enjoyable. Ate and drank like a king, and came home with the spoils of everyone's efforts as well, which means tonight, I don't have to cook tea, and with one day of holiday to go, I also don't need to go to bed early either....I think that I can feel a movie marathon coming my way. 

I think I can, I think I can....
I feel a lot like the little engine that could this week. I'm feeling really tired, a bit over it all and I could really use a degree in child psychology right about now, especially given the amount of child diffusing that I have been doing this week. You can always tell when we are getting to the pointy end of a term; the kids certainly wouldn't let you miss it that's for sure, they love to amp shit up to full volume right at the end.
But who cares? Chin up! It's only two more days of enslavement and 'working for the man' before I can run out the door on Friday and not look over my shoulder or return for 17 whole days! 17! Can I get a whoop-whoop? 
Yes, it is these moments when all of the crazy seems completely worthwhile. That golden time when every crying kid, playground scuffle, petty dispute, relentless whine, scun knee and blood nose seem trivial because ain't nobody gonna steal my sunshine! It's Easter holiday time, which means loads of dark chocolate, sleeping in, movie marathons, reading until noon and this time around - road tripping!
Loads to look forward to, and it's also one of my favourite times of the year seasonally, which is a big bonus. I absolutely love the turn from Summer to Autumn, it is easily the most mellow time of the year. It is also the perfect time for a little solitude and reflection, especially with the weather so changeable. Some days it's like an Indian Summer and other days it's like an early winter, and I really dig that. You can wear a skirt and paint your nails one day and then make hot chocolate and grab a blanket for the porch the next, I enjoy the unpredictability of it. 
Clearly I am getting chuffed for the break right now because I am falling in love with the seasons and also because on Monday after school I found a big dent in the back panel of my car, with red paint all over it from the culprit that had done it and I didn't even let it rile me up. And guess what? The person who did it came forward. They felt terrible about the incident (which was a car door in the wind scenario) and they were more than happy to put in a claim to get it fixed. So all's well that ends well really. 
I'm just counting down the days now, or maybe the hours...oh holidays...you will be mine...yes you will...and then it will be happy, happy days! 

Being a child of the seventies, I can more than appreciate just how incredible, exciting and interesting technology is. When I was a kid we were marvelling over board games and the awesome effects of the very first Star Wars movie. Personal computers, gaming consoles and the internet were non-existent, we didn't even have video tapes for god's sake! 
The instant access to information and external stimulus is overwhelming today, particularly when you compare it to a model of my eighties childhood, a time that was revolutionised by the arrival of the Walkman. Children today are super tech savvy, because they need to be. They live in a world that demands it. Most kids have an Ipad or a PC, or both, and almost every home appears to have succumbed to purchasing a gaming console in one form or another. The world of gaming is a multi-billion dollar industry and billions of people can't get enough of it.
Both of my children are avid gamers and can easily while away hours and hours playing in virtual worlds and living out imaginary lives and realities. Both Craig and I also like to game from time to time, and I know that we used to game an awful lot when we were younger and didn't have so many other responsibilities. That first version Playstation console got the biggest flogging from us when we first moved in together, but I don't remember it being the only passion that we had. 
Seth is insanely passionate about gaming, he would eat, sleep, and dream it if we didn't put restrictions on it. He lives for it, it's not just a hobby, it's what motivates him. It is not just him, it appears to be most of his friends as well, in fact from what I can ascertain, it would seem that most youths around 10 to 19 years old seem to be totally obsessed with some form of technology. I believe that this tech obsession has risen with the ability to play together online and share experiences through gaming or online social media platforms. 
I don't want to sound like I am out of touch or that I have a problem with gaming when I say this, because I actually think that a certain amount of gaming or similar is a really useful stress relief tool and I completely understand the desire to want to go further or gain a new high score in a game, I've been there and done that myself many times. However, when it becomes a person's only passion, surely that is a bad thing right?
Lately I feel like I am fighting a losing battle with Seth in regards to gaming. He does have a number of other things that he likes to do. Like play guitar, read, draw and make art, film stop motion clips and build things - mostly Lego things and he is also really good when it comes to doing his share of chores and helping out when he asked to. However, he only does these things when I make him get offline and do them, which means that they are no longer passions or initiatives of his own volition, they are the things that he does so that he can get me and Craig off his back and then get back online. That's the part that bothers me about it. Not that he loves to game or that he get 100% immersed when he is doing it, because I totally get that, it's the fact that it appears to be the only thing that he gets passionate or excited about anymore. 
Craig just laughs and says that he will discover girls soon enough and things will change, but it still worries me, and I fear that I am losing my son to online fodder. I know that sound super dramatic, but I don't want him to only experience joy when he is hooked up and disconnected from real life. I would bet that there are a lot of other parents that feel the same way about this. Their kids are not bad kids or disobedient kids, they are just really addicted to the thrill of online gaming, which means that they are present but completely not present at the same time.
It's really hard to know the best course of action as a parent on this one. We do restrict the amount of time that he has, and he doesn't fight us on that because we keep it fair, but how do I get him excited about other things? What compares to a virtual world where you can be whoever you want to be and do whatever you chose to do? An open world that you can be lost in with your friends where you can look anyway you wish and do things that you could never really do in the real world? Nothing is the answer, nothing can compare to that. The virtual world is far more exciting than anything that happens outside of it, and that is why I am losing this battle and it's getting harder and harder to get him passionate about other things, but it feels like shit to admit defeat so I will just keep fighting and hope that something comes along that reignites his passion levels for the real world again.

After nursing the school pet (a bearded dragon named Bruce) back to health over the Summer break, you can imagine my disappointment and surprise when the bloody thing just up and died on Thursday. Apparently, whatever I was doing for Bruce wasn't enough to combat the fact that he was well passed his prime and his time to depart the planet had arrived. Even though I only got to enjoy him for a few weeks, it was sad to see the poor thing just fluff out so suddenly. 
The death of a pet is often a challenge for children, but generally the kids at school all took it pretty well. A bearded dragon is not the easiest pet to form a relationship with, and unlike a cute or fluffy class pet, he wasn't exactly adored by the masses for his cuddliness. Still, I did shed a tear for our old scaly mate when he finally bit the big one and so did some of the more sensitive kids that were helping me care for him at school over the last few weeks. 
I will never forget my own first experience of death when I was around eleven. I found three baby birds that had fallen onto the ground from a nest. I recall being doggedly determined to become mother to these young fluffy chicks who responded with open beaks and hungry cries at my touch, and even though my father had warned me that they would never survive without care from their real mother, I was sure that I would make a suitable replacement.
​I dug up worms all afternoon and found an eye dropper to administer water into their tiny beaks and really thought that I was making a difference. The first of the chicks died within hours of me finding them, the second died later on that evening and the third perished overnight.
I recall being absolutely devastated that I could not save their tiny lives. I had such high hopes for them and visions of releasing three healthy birds into the wild with a dramatic toss of my hand in a teary but happy farewell ritual. The death of those tiny birds had a profound affect on me because it was at that moment that I sadly realized that regardless of our best intentions, we just cannot save all of the abandoned, sick and dying creatures on the earth. Those tiny birds taught me that death is inevitable and unbeatable, no matter how much you don't want it to be and the crushing reality of it and my own defeat to death left me weeping for hours and hours. I recall believing at that moment that I would never stop feeling sad ever again.
The permanency of death is indeed a crushing blow to endure, and when you are only eleven years old it feels just as intense about a few baby birds or an old lizard as it does about anyone or anything. These first early brushes with death are quite shaping and certainly aren't easy, but there is an intense respect for life that blossoms from even the earliest realization that all life is fragile and impermanent.
​Socrates once said - Death may be the greatest of all human blessings, and I think that he was right on the money with that one. ​It is only when we fully embrace our own mortality that we can truly begin to understand the importance of living our lives to the fullest. Some of the most important lessons in life are learned through our sadnesses, and the reality of death is most certainly one of those lessons. 

Went for a day trip out to Queenscliff this week with Zoe and Seth. We caught the ferry across to Sorrento while we were there, and while we were going across we were lucky enough to see dolphins in the sea, quite a few of them actually. A pod of them, racing through the water along side of the ferry, it was the highlight of the trip for me I think.
​The ferry is a pretty snazzy and inexpensive way to get across Port Phillip Bay, but if I had to choose a side of preference, Queenscliff would win hands down for me. I think that Queenscliff is more aesthetically pleasing and nicer to roam around in general, but I am sure that Sorrento natives would argue that point with me given the chance.
I have spent a lot of my recreational time over the past week getting shit done, I am in 'back to school' mode, finalising everything in preparation for the big return next week. Yes, we have pretty much reached the end of the holidays and all of the hoohar is just about come to an end. But I cannot say that I am not well rested, I have been away for a full month now, which is a bloody good break by anyone's standards I would imagine. 
Seth celebrated his twelfth birthday quietly, he really doesn't ever require a big fuss. I really dig that about Seth, his wants are few and he never expects anything, which makes him super easy to buy for. This year, all  he asked to do was go to a game arcade. So we went to Geelong, had fish and chips at Eastern beach, a quick spin on the ferris wheel and then over to Timezone - simple! He wanted money this year, because he is saving up to buy VR for the PS4, so he only got a couple of small things to open on the day, and he really couldn't have cared less about the gifts, he's just not worried about that kind of stuff. 
Hard to believe he is twelve and going to secondary college this year though, where the heck did that time go? He had his hair cut (finally!!) this week and I got him all kitted out in his new uniform and it just freaked me out, how did we get here so fast? Is it just me or do things go faster and faster as you get older, I thought that things were supposed to slow down as you got older, or did I just make that up? It is most definitely true, time waits for no man (or woman), you really do have to live every minute because it is just a wink. When you look back over your shoulder, doesn't it seem so fleeting? Perhaps it's just me, but considering I have kind of reached the halfway mark of my life, I would kinda like things to slow down a little now. Just a little, I'm happy for it to pass, just not in a complete blur, let's just back up a bit before we go too much further.  

I have just finished watching all of the original episodes of Twin Peaks, which was quite an undertaking at 30 episodes in total. It is easily the best art-house TV series that I have ever watched, and I must admit that I was basically obsessed with it by the time I got to the end. I initially felt compelled to watch the series when I learned about the reboot that is going to happen in May this year. Twin Peaks- 25 years on, the anticipation is killing me! I can hardly wait to see where David Lynch will go with it. It certainly ended on a cliff hanger 25 years ago, so I am deeply relieved that I don't have to wait that long to get another serve. 
I spent a couple of days in Bendigo with Helen this week, and we had a rather odd and yet weirdly delightful 'Lynch-like' experience together when we ventured out to view The Great Stupa of Universal Compassion. Built in the same design as the Great Stupa of Gyantse in Tibet which is 50 metres high and 50 metres square at its base, when it is completed The Great Stupa of Universal Compassion will be the largest stupa outside of Asia. It is fair to say that the stupa is completely awe inspiring and grand in every way, and that something of this nature is going to be a beacon to many colourful and interesting people, both now and for years to come. 
Whilst Helen and I were roaming the massive gardens that surround the stupa, we were approached by a rather odd, shuffling, weather-beaten old man in a sunhat that appeared to be absolutely wasted. He informed us that it was in our best interests to follow a path that wound through the bush to visit the nearby monastery, which was apparently a delight to behold. Okay, weird guy, thanks for that. 
Anyway, being the Nosey Nellys that we are, we did follow the rather dodgy gravel path, and it lead to....wait for it.....The Yellow Brick Road! I shit you not, it was yellow and bricked and also labelled 'The Yellow Brick Road' aka The Pathway to Enlightenment. Well, how can one resist? This was clearly becoming an epic adventure. 
Okay, so this is where things got really fricken weird. Probably should've seen that coming when we agreed to follow 'weird guy's' advise, but anyway.... Along the path were numerous...well I can only call them offerings, left by God only knows who and they were labelled with the craziest gobbledegook that I have ever read in my life, and that's saying something! There were various collections of offerings, some that had stuffed animals (some even hanging in the trees - my favourite being the gorilla with the rotting banana shoved under his arm) plastic dinosaurs and snakes, crappy wooden tiki sculptures, culturally insensitive concrete natives, gnomes and mushrooms, animal bones and skulls and various other things that just shouldn't have been there.
Helen and I were waiting to be offered a nice long glass of Kool Aid, because this lovely meander throught the bush had suddenly turned into wrong turn at Jones Town for us.  It was truly freaky shit, which we both found absolutely hysterical and almost died of laughter from. And then suddenly, there it was, the monastery. And yes, it was amazing, marble sculptures of the various Buddhas, it was bloody incredible actually. You just had to get throught the weird, acid trip, 'yellow brick road' to get there.
​The rest of the time that we were there, we were quite suspicious about what actually goes on at the stupa after hours, given the weirdness of some of it, but it did give us a shitload to laugh about for the rest of the day.
We had a picnic lunch around the lake, and I think that the passersby thought that we were absolutely mental, because we were literally rolling around on our picnic rug with rawkus laughter recalling the things that we had seen on The Yellow Brick Road. I'm pretty certain that our rather unusual visit to The Great Stupa of Universal Compassion was an experience that even David Lynch himself could've gleaned some inspiration from, it had art-house stamped all over it! 

Sleep in until 11am?
An hour of yoga and then brunch at 12.30?
How about a glass of whiskey, a good book and a laze about on the deck in the glorious sunshine all afternoon? 
Feel like watching movies until 2 or 3am? 
Yes to all of the above, because that is what my life has been like these holidays. 100% pure self indulgence. There is no need to be anywhere or to do anything, so why wouldn't I take advantage of this valuable 'me' time.
And trust me when I say that I have been fully 'in the moment' as well. I have totally committed to removing all distraction and pushing all pesky thoughts out of my head like "shouldn't I be getting blah-blah done?" or "we really need to get blah-blah sorted out." Nope, not having it, just going at 'me' time 100%. Not looking at the clock, not thinking about tomorrow, not stressing about a damn thing and it feels so good! Talk about restorative, I can literally feel my batteries recharging by the minute.
I have actually spent a little time wondering why the hell I haven't adopted this method years ago. There is a unique peace that derives from being still and completely in a moment that is unrivalled by all other things. I do believe that perhaps I wasn't really ready to fully let go and just be in the moment before, I have transitioned to this space and cultivated the ability to just sit with myself, that in itself is actually a pretty important skill.
​Just 'being' without 'doing' is not as simple as it seems, especially if you are being mindful about it. This really isn't about being lazy or non-productive, on the contrary really, because I have been extremely productive as well. When you take the focused self time, then you are rewarded many times over because you can find joy in even the most mundane of things. It is quite hard to explain, but it is a truly zen way to be. 
Obviously, sustaining a zen mindset is easy when one is on holidays. When things start to hot up again, then obviously it will be a challenge to maintain this state. But for now, while I can fully embrace it, I am going for it. Who cares if it is only a week of zen bliss? It's still a week of zen bliss and I'm taking all that I can get. 

Officially, today is the first day of the holidays for me. I departed work yesterday in spectacular fashion; belly full of good tucker (paid for by the boss thanks very much) adorned with crazy generous gifts from my brilliant work collegues and feeling just the right amount of drinky-happy. I came home and seriously high fived myself because woo-bloody-hoo, the holidays have arrived and the fun is just about to begin! Over five weeks of 'me-time' stretches out before me, and the possibilities of what to do with that time are endless. I just love the beginning of a long break, you really do feel like you have an eternity of free time ahead of you and it feels so damn good!
There are only a few short sleeps until the big event rolls around, which I am super pumped about. Zoe and Lachlainn will be joining us here at home for Christmas, and since my mother-in-law no longer feels compelled to provide the obligatory roast of the day, we are going to indulge in some excellent pork belly and champagne right here for lunch on our own, which will be spectacular I'm sure. Why am I so sure? Because I am the one cooking it that's why, and I do a pretty mean pork belly roast. 
Over the next few days I am planning to clean, cook, bake, wrap gifts and just chill out around the house. I will more than likely also be partaking in a few tipples along the way, adventuring in to town to check out the Christmas lights and overindulging in one of the only biscuits that I can safely eat due to it's rice flour content, the humble Christmas shortbread.  
Bring it on! I am so excited, so many good things to look forward to. Let's make this year the best one ever! 

Christmas has a way of making people go a little bit kooky. Generally rational people get all worked up about the fine (and mostly insignificant details) and suddenly the whole thing doesn't feel like a peaceful upcoming event, but more like some kind of extreme gaunlet to be endured over a period of a few days. People shopping in stores are hideously impatient, impolite and irate, the list of to-do's seems insurmountable and now, sadly, it has all become too big and completely stressful.
That is not  what Chistmas should be like. It also should not be anything like all of those crazy American versions of Christmas that you see in Christmas movies and TV shows. In my opinion, those tightly wound Christmas' that appear in the media are designed by the advertising industry to make us all feel like we are failing to deliver 'The Perfect Christmas'. Any depiction of Christmas that involves perfectly decorated trees and impeccibly wrapped gifts, creamy, boozy, egg-nogs by the fire and rooms that look like Martha Stewart threw up in them, have nothing to do with what Christmas should be about. Sure it's great to have some decorations out, a Christmas tree up and some gifts to share, but it isn't the most important thing and it shouldn't be the defining thing about the jolliest holiday of the year. 
When I think of the perfect Christmas, I am in my own home surrounded by the people that I love the most. We have opened some gifts by the Christmas tree, and we are just enjoying each others company. We are sharing a really special meal together, a meal that goes on for hours and involves many glasses of good liquor. There is plenty of time for playing, clowning around and chatting, and even an afternoon nap before tucking into leftovers in the evening for tea. The day ends with full bellies and fuller hearts and lots of hugs and giggles. That's what I think that Christmas should be like, everything else is just uneccessary fluff. 
We all want it to look amazing, but the truth is that it really doesn't matter what it looks like. Aim for harmony, kindness, generosity and above all gentleness because we are all really tired and in need of a holiday about now. Leave the flamoyance to those that really know how to do it, save yourself the stress and just have another champagne! 

As Spiderbait once sang "sunshine on the window, makes me happy, like I should be" and right now, I couldn't agree more. This weekend finally brought some much needed sunshine back into my life. I haven't ventured anywhere near town for days, and it has been bliss. Two glorious days of welcomed sunshine out at Enfield has had me pleasantly lolly-gagging around the yard engaging in various activities from gardening, collecting pine cones, harvesting veggies, tossing the frisbee and shooting hoops; not to mention practically living on the deck in my down time enjoying evening wines with Zoe who came down to stay. I even enjoyed a super long yoga session, followed by an even longer brunch on Sunday morning, that didn't end until the afternoon. 
​Zoe said that every time that she comes around, it gets more and more like a scene from  Meet the Fockers out in Enfield, and I am totally okay with that. I can't imagine the Fockers being anything other than zen about most things, and I do talk about sex as much as Roz Focker, so I guess I can see where Zoe is coming from. It isn't every day that you get to see your parents in downward facing dog is it? However, to be fair, it was our 22nd wedding anniversary on Saturday, so if we were a little more demonstrative than usual, the kids just have to live with it. We are all about embracing life and living in the moment out here these days, and it does have it's advantages, albeit wacky ones at times.
Perhaps is all just a side effect to the fact that it genuinely feels like Summer is on it's way for the first time this year, and everyone's mood and energy level has responded accordingly. It is so much easier to get motivated when the weather is better, things don't feel like such a chore. Even the menial stuff like doing the laundry isn't so bad when you catch a few rays with the hilarious magpie hatchlings out at the clothes-line.
With all of this renewed vigor, I feel really confident about the way that things will pan out over the next few weeks. It is really odd how a little sunshine can make things feel a lot more manageable, the power of a dose vitamin D certainly cannot be disputed.  

Sweet Jesus, it's that time of the year again. End of year reports are due, there's only 5 weeks of the school term left, Christmas is looming in the back ground and there's about million things to do in a microscopical amount of time. All of this has surmounted into everyone going a bit bonkers, especially the kids at school who are really milking this final count-down for all that it is worth. 
However, in spite of the intense lure that I also feel to climb aboard the douche train and blaze down the mountainside of shit fits and erratic carry on, I am just straight up refusing to do it. Yes, I'm stifling my panicky need to find around $1000 to cover all of our mounting specialist bills right now, and I am also playing zen with my Christmas list that is long enough to use as bog roll and I'm even being totally chill about all of the things that I need to finish off at work before the end of term, because you know what? Fuck it all.  It will get done, I don't know how for sure, but it will get done, it always does. And no amount of pissing and moaning is going to make it happen any faster. 
No douche train for me, no sir, not doing it. As the saying goes, I didn't come this far to only this far, and I mean it. I haven't quit smoking, detoxed and gotten up every day for the last 5 months at 5:40am to do yoga for nothing. I have earned my ticket to zen and I'm cashing it in big time.
​I can be the calm amidst the storm, I have totally got this. I am going to arrive at Christmas in just over 6 weeks time feeling relaxed and ready, that's my mantra and I am sticking to it. I am also not going to have any regrets about the way that I got there either, no moaning or whinging about the inevitable craziness of this particular time of year, it is pointless and utterly unproductive. Nope, I promised myself zen this time last year and then everything went to hell in a handbag on Christmas eve; but not this year, I'm way more prepared this year and I am going to enjoy it all, every last bit of it - even the crappy, hard and challenging bits. I got this....I have totally got this.