I haven't even been in my new job for six months yet and the workload has certainly not gotten any lighter, in fact it has doubled down. And a workload of that calibre when you are still finding your feet is not fun at all, it's bloody stressful and my anxiety was high to say the least. Team that with a reduction of personal down time and a lack of time in your own home, your own bed and with your own tribe and you've got a recipe for a breakdown. I didn't actually have a breakdown, but I did lose faith in my ability and I did get sick - both which were shithouse and fricken hard.
I eventually had to have my workload reduced because the hours that I was putting in were just not sustainable. This was hard for me, because it felt like failing in a way, even though I know that no-one could've managed it alone, it still felt shit not having the minerals to go it alone. What can I say - it's in my genes to work until I buckle; and that, I now know, is as stupid as it is dangerous. I made myself ill and emotional and fragile - a gross mixture of things that I haven't felt all at once in a while. But I felt them and I also lived and I also learned. Sometimes you can't make it on your own.
So I went back to my home, my bed, my tribe and I set about healing myself. I addressed the root cause of the problem, set some healthy boundaries, had some uncomfortable conversations and stood back to reassess the landscape. I healed my tired body with good sleep, key nutrients and anti-inflammatory methods. I stimulated my vagus nerve, I practised somatic therapy and I increased my protein. And, yep, I am definitely starting to feel a lot more like my old self again.
Next week I look forward to being able to increase my physical movement again because I have mostly rested in my down time, and I really want to get back into a regular yoga routine again. Craig and I have planned to spend the King's Birthday long weekend in Hobart for the Dark Mofo Festival and I am really looking forward to spending a few days of down time away with him doing something fun. I have had to cancel quite a few of my joyful plans over the last couple of weeks because of work demands and illness and I really need to do more things that spark joy and bring me positive vibes again.
So that's the plan for me this Winter, once I am 100% well again, I want to focus on finding a better work-life balance so that this doesn't happen to me ever again!

Release Date: 2022
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 106 mins
A dark comedy and coming of age story; written, directed and edited by Adam Carter Rehmeier. Dinner is America delivers an unexpectedly sweet tale with a punk rock energy. Brimming with absurd and amusing characters, the mix of clumsy infatuation and cock sure confidence is an absolute joy to watch.
When 'on the run' punk rocker Simon meets awkward and outcast Patty, they seem like they couldn't have anything in common. However, though their unfailing love of punk music and ability to accept differences, they find solace in each other and an escape from their isolated lives.
The entire film hinges on Simon and Patty, and they are brilliantly and convincingly portrayed by Kyle Gallner and Emily Skeggs, who just light up the screen together here. As amusing as Napoleon Dynamite and as unique as Shark vs Eagle, Dinner in America is destined to become a cult classic.
FINAL SAY: I'm a watermelon slammed into your driveway.
3.5 Chilli Peppers