I am utterly perplexed by how fast May has gone by, tomorrow June will arrive and the conversation will swiftly turn to the end of finanacial year and the fact that we have reached the year's half way point already - half way! Seriously this is crazy! Has life always been moving this fast? I feel like it hasn't been, in fact I am sure that it is actually only flying by now because I am moving so fast myself these days.
Well, fast in some ways, certainly my career has been moving fast but that has also had some less desirable side effects. The amount of hours that I have spent sitting at a desk or behind the wheel of a car have not been good for my physical wellbeing and I have gained weight, which has in turn reignited my cortosol levels to stupidly high levels and sent my menopause symptoms into a spiral of sweaty nights and hot flushes - gross! Back here all over again. So not fun!
So its time to get proactive about my physical wellbeing all over again. In short - I need to move more and eat less of the the wrong stuff (guilty as charged). Simple enough in theory, but as the days grow colder this will be less and less simple as my motiation for long outdoor strolls and salads diminishes faster than the fading daylight hours during winter. 
But you cannot let your crappy cortisol levels ruin your life; so I have to get proactive and reset the balance. And how do I do that exactly? Overall, I need to increase my sleep, get more outdoors walks in, eat a clean and balanced diet and reduce my stress load. A simple hop, step and jump that only requires consistency not perfection. I've done it before, and know that it can be done, but so far my heart just hasn't been in it and I've allowed other less important things to take centre stage - which has been a big part of the problem.
So, for the second half of this year I am prioritising my wellness and physical wellbeing, and aiming to trim down and get my cortisol levels back in check again. I'm tired of sweaty nights and flabby thighs, its depressing me! Proactive me is gung-ho to change things and to get back my self conrol for Summer - 6 months to turn things around. That is my main goal now for 2026, I've got the financial security in check, Ive got my social and emotional wellness sorted - now its time to get my body back in line. Okay body - let's get in formation!
I have a solid plan and a goal, I'm already on the way and I am excited to undertake a new challenge to be honest, I needed a new personal goal and this will be a true labour of love. I cannot wait to shed a few pounds and stop sweating my arse off every night, and the aim here is to lower my cortisol not to fit into a bikini, so there are no intense body sculpting plans on the horizon, just good choices and maximum consistency. 
More sleep sounds pretty damn good to me and so does eating well and taking better care of my body. So let's go June, you may be bringing me shorter days but I'm going to be fighting back the darkness by fully focusing on my physical wellbeing!

It is incredibly interesting when you meet someone who has no social awareness or social boundaries. They have the power to make everyone else in a room feel very uncomfotable and yet be blissfully unaware that they sit at the epicentre of everyone elses discomfort. I have recently come into contact with someone like this and it is both incredulous and disconcerting when I have to spend time with them. 
Their behaviour is quite interesting; a mix of attention seeking and immaturity speckled with a good dusting of rudeness that manages to make the air thick, people exchange glances and in some instances, I've even seen people just stare down at their feet in an attempt to dis-engage. And they are (as far as I can tell) completely unaware of this, and this is where the biggest problem lies because you can't really go around correcting adults on their social behaviours, you kind of just have to tolerate them. And it's really hard, because a few minor adjustments and things could be so much better. 
Social rules are tenuous and can make or break many interactions, but there are eight very simple rules that I try to maintain when I am socialising and generally they never steer me wrong.
1. Silence will trump any argument - not every opinion requires a reply, so just say nothing. 
2. The calmest voice controls the room and power doesn't shout. 
3. Gossip once and lose trust forever because people remember. 
4. Ask more and talk less, listeners win hearts.
5. Praise in public and correct in private and respect will go viral. 
6. Mirror their energy not their chaos - stay in control of yourself regardless of anothers behaviour. 
7. Interrupting shows that you have weak self control, let people finish. Watch first and talk later, smart people talk last.
8. Be polite, be kind and be interested. 

Do I always get them right? Oh hell no! I make mistakes in social situations all of the time, I am hardly a genius but I really do try. I used to suck so hard at social interactions, so I did a lot of work to improve my skills in this area, and anyone can get better at being great socially - but at the end of the day - they have to want to get better and that, unfortunately,  doesn't always occur. 

THE RULE OF JENNY PEN
Release Date: 2024
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 104 mins 
A psychologial thriller based on Owen Marshall's short of the same name, The Rule Jenny Pen had a deeply disturbing affect on me. Maybe it was because I have an elderly parent and two elderly in-laws but the idea of a psychotic and unhinged predator lurking inside of an old aged home really upset me, and I found this material to be quite distressing, mainly because of it's absolutely possibly and plausibility. 
Stefan is an elderly judge (Geoffrey Rush) who suffers a stroke in court and finds himself in a care home for the aged. He attempts to keep to himself but soon realises that there is a terror lurking within the walls of the home itself.  A deranged man called Dave (John Lithgow), who masquerades as confused old man during the day but repeatedly abuses and terrorises residents of the home with late night vistis from himself and his sadistic hand puppet called Jenny Pen.
This movie was made all the more affecting by the exceptional acting of Geoffrey Rush as judge Stefan and the distressingly good John Lithgow who unforgettably haunts as the very disturbed character Dave. I cannot deny that this film left me saddened and quite shook and if you also have elderly parents, you too will find this film a hard watch. 
FINAL SAY: We don't stop playing because we get old, we get old because we stop playing.
3.5 Chilli Peppers ​

My system has taken a real flogging over the last few weeks. The high volume of work and constant travel has taken its toll, and I ended up quite sick and pretty run down as a result. In turn, I felt vulnerable, edgy and at times quite unsure of myself and my ability. In fact this time last week, I was starting to wonder if I even had enough fortitude to manage my workload, and I waivered for the first time in my new job. Thankfully, this feeling did not stay with me, and I got by with a little help from my friends, my work colleagues and most of all my family who all rallied around to ensure that I had support, love and time to reboot my flagging system.
I haven't even been in my new job for six months yet and the workload has certainly not gotten any lighter, in fact it has doubled down. And a workload of that calibre when you are still finding your feet is not fun at all, it's bloody stressful and my anxiety was high to say the least. Team that with a reduction of personal down time and a lack of time in your own home, your own bed and with your own tribe and you've got a recipe for a breakdown. I didn't actually have a breakdown, but I did lose faith in my ability and I did get sick - both which were shithouse and fricken hard. 
I eventually had to have my workload reduced because the hours that I was putting in were just not sustainable. This was hard for me, because it felt like failing in a way, even though I know that no-one could've managed it alone, it still felt shit not having the minerals to go it alone. What can I say - it's in my genes to work until I buckle; and that, I now know, is as stupid as it is dangerous. I made myself ill and emotional and fragile - a gross mixture of things that I haven't felt all at once in a while. But I felt them and I also lived and I also learned. Sometimes you can't make it on your own. 
So I went back to my home, my bed, my tribe and I set about healing myself. I addressed the root cause of the problem, set some healthy boundaries, had some uncomfortable conversations and stood back to reassess the landscape. I healed my tired body with good sleep, key nutrients and anti-inflammatory methods. I stimulated my vagus nerve, I practised somatic therapy and I increased my protein. And, yep, I am definitely starting to feel a lot more like my old self again.
Next week I look forward to being able to increase my physical movement again because I have mostly rested in my down time, and I really want to get back into a regular yoga routine again. Craig and I have planned to spend the King's Birthday long weekend in Hobart for the Dark Mofo Festival and I am really looking forward to spending a few days of down time away with him doing something fun. I have had to cancel quite a few of my joyful plans over the last couple of weeks because of work demands and illness and I really need to do more things that spark joy and bring me positive vibes again.
​So that's the plan for me this Winter,  once I am 100% well again, I want to focus on finding a better work-life balance so that this doesn't happen to me ever again!

DINNER IN AMERICA
Release Date: 2022 
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 106 mins 
A dark comedy and coming of age story; written, directed and edited by Adam Carter Rehmeier. Dinner is America delivers an unexpectedly sweet tale with a punk rock energy. Brimming with absurd and amusing characters, the mix of clumsy infatuation and cock sure confidence is an absolute joy to watch. 
When 'on the run' punk rocker Simon meets awkward and outcast Patty, they seem like they couldn't have anything in common. However, though their unfailing love of punk music and ability to accept differences, they find solace in each other and an escape from their isolated lives. 
The entire film hinges on Simon and Patty, and they are brilliantly and convincingly portrayed by Kyle Gallner and Emily Skeggs, who just light up the screen together here. As amusing as Napoleon Dynamite and as unique as Shark vs Eagle, Dinner in America is destined to become a cult classic.  
FINAL SAY: I'm a watermelon slammed into your driveway. 
3.5 Chilli Peppers ​

You know what they say about the best laid plans right? Well, I got a really big serve of 'nah ya don't' from the universe this month, that I did not see coming at all. And I could've crawled into a hole and cried for days but I did not do that, even though I really wanted to, more than once or twice. Okay, well in all honesty, I may have cried a bit for a day or two, but not nearly as much as I wanted to. I did however decide to get all proactive and take the bull by the horns and I think that I have managed things pretty well, all things considered. 
So, let's start at the beginning. Things started to go south for me on December 3rd when I discovered that I needed to find a new job. After seven years of working 'one to one' with a blind student, I thought that I had given my employer plenty of signals and enough verbal interaction for them to know that I was not willing to undertake another 'one to one' learning support role in 2025. Working 'one to one' with high needs students has a 'burn out' factor that can really only be explained when you have walked the miles yourself, so to speak, and I can assure you that it takes its toll. It takes its toll physically, emotionally and mentally and everyone deserves a break from that level of intensity and I knew that I needed one.
Anyway, my employer did not listen closely to my conversations or requests, and also did not follow through on previous implications around my role, and rather unfortunately placed me in an awkward position where I found myself again in a 'one to one' capacity. Only this time, I was placed with an even more complex student that also needs to be toileted. And to that I said - hmmmm, no thanks! And that is what I told them, thank you, but no thank you. 
Which meant that I was left with less than three weeks of term to find another job. Time to draft my resume and get my cover letter sorted, I was back on the market! Fine, I got this. Then, two days later I was racing Seth to hospital because he had tonsilitis and his throat and epiglottis swelled up so much that it was closing over his wind pipe and he was choking. That was a fun ride to the hospital with my pulse racing so fast that I nearly needed an ambulance as well. 24 hours later, Seth's throat was sorted but I was struggling to sleep. That was also the day that we found the baby brown snake hanging from the garage door and I thought, what the hell is actually happening here? Mind racing, I pulled out of my work staff party (who feels like partying when you feel like that?) and my monthly sangha because I was a bit over-wrought and not great company; in fact my stress levels were quite high at that stage and I just had to retreat and have a re-group. 
I went in hard and applied for six jobs and got two interviews within ten days, which wasn't bad odds. I accepted a terrific job offer on Monday 16th December, only to receive a better one on Wednesday 18th December and then I had to have another awkward conversation to pull out of the first offer. I actually really hated doing that too because I do not like to go back on my word and it was a really good job. However, the job that I did end up taking is excellent and it is probably my last shot at leadership, so I felt that if I didn't take it I would be doing myself a disservice.
Plus, I had asked, or rather prayed, to my dad to help me on this one. I've not asked for his help with anything since he died five years ago, but I was so lost and overwhelmed that I actually called on him for a favour and asked for his support, and sure enough I landed an excellent job - so thanks dad. I really did feel like you and the universe had my back on this one. Crisis averted, got a job lined up for 2025, had my streak of three bad things, I must be coming out of the poo-pit by now right?
Yeah, not quite! After an emotional farewell to the Year 6 graduating students that I have worked with for seven years, a goodbye to the blind students that I have supported for just as long and an exit from my workplace (that's a lot of goodbyes at once - and a lot of feelings right there), I left work on the 20th feeling relatively good in spirit and ready to enjoy a well earned break and rest. All the Christmas shopping done, all I had to do was relax and enjoy the festive season. And then yesterday, because a work colleague had tested positive for covid, I thought I had better, especially since I had mum staying over for Christmas and yep - you guessed it - positive!  I have bloody covid again, for the third time and the second time over Christmas! UUUGGHHH!
​So, yep, Christmas plans had to change again! As I said, the best laid plans right? Honestly it's enough to make you cry. It turns out that Zoe, Ben and Freja all had covid last week, so they have full immunity and can still join us, which is actually fortuitous, if covid can actually ever be fortuitous. Anyway, they are still coming and will arrive tomorrow for a few days. Poor mum however cannot be anywhere near us, so she is the one who really lost out with this, but I have promised to make it up with two fun days out with her as soon as I get a negative test result. 
Anyway, long story short, it is two days until Christmas. I have experienced my own kind of fresh hell in the lead up to it but I do not want to harp on about the shitty stuff anymore. It's time to crack open the champers, put up my feet and share some quality time with my lovelies out here in Enfield. I am ready for some Christmas joy and don't want to hear another bad word about any of it. I am leaving it all behind me with 2024 and moving on up to higher ground. 

SPEAK NO EVIL
Release Date: 2024
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 110 mins
If there is one thing that James McAvoy can do well, it is crazy, and he is completely delivering 'the crazy' in Speak No Evil. A psychological thriller and a remake of the Danish- Dutch film of the same name that was made in 2022, Speak No Evil manages to bring just enough intrigue and interest to keep you invested until the bitter end. 
While vacationing in Italy, an American family of three befriend a free spirited British family and gain an invitation to holiday at their farmhouse in Devon. With the option of free travel available, the Americans happily head to the remote English location to immerse themselves in some local culture but soon discover that they have become embroiled in some very sinister goings on.
The story isn't exactly ground breaking, and the writing is on the wall very early on here, but the incredible cast really sell this film with their on-point delivery; especially Aisling Franciosi, Mackenzie Davis,  Scoot McNairy and as I mentioned earlier, especially James McAvoy who brings so much sinister side eye and sly smiling that it is impossible not to feel unnerved.  For a simple thriller, this is definitely worth a gander. 
FINAL SAY: Because you let us!
3 Chilli Peppers ​

Don't misread that blog post heading and think that I have gone all fitness mad or anything, because I definitely have not! I have however, entered into the dreaded and controversial period of my life that is commonly known as 'menopause' but really should be called 'fresh hell for women who think they have already experienced everything.'
​So far it has been extremely hot, intensely sweaty and just generally quite gross. This recent wave of menopause has collided with the awards season, so I have been happy to sweat it out on the couch with The Globes, The Emmys and The Critic's Choice Awards which although not at all surprising when it comes to the actual winners, has provided me with some much needed distraction from the hot, flushing and ever present fevers that is my unfortunate, but clearly rapidly declining, hormonal levels. 
So far it's been all 'Sweaty Betty' and 'No Sleep Susan' and I haven't had too many other symptoms, well none that have caused me as much distress and annoyance as a lack of sleep and the constant swampy humidity of my own body. I am managing to get some incredible internal body temperatures these days, and although I haven't exactly been shoving thermometres inside of myself to check on that, I have taken to sleeping with an ice pack on my chest at night, which I believe is a fairly powerful indicator that I am burning up.
In general I am just a big old 'Clammy Sammy' and my body is behaving like I have permanently moved to Northern Thailand by generally being slick and sticky most of the time. Mmmmm, so sexy right? Clearly no, and poor Craig keeps waking up during the night dreaming that he is sunbaking on a beach, only to discover that he is just dealing with the radiant heat that is pouring off of my body during the nocturnal hours. I swear that if I could harness the energy that my body is giving out I could run the lights in our home for months. 
It is like riding a wave of internal combustion, one minute I'm a roast chook, the next I'm icy cold and all of that occurs in a mere matter of minutes. It is just crazy, and I have no idea how long this will last for either. Being a woman is such a thankless roller coaster and now that I am turning 50, hitting menopause and also on the precipice of becoming a grandmother I am starting to see why women become quite cranky at this stage of life. You turn a certain age (by the way menopause usually hits between 45-55 so women beware) and you are suddenly thrust into a fever dream of early crone-hood that is a bit debilitating and quite scary really. I hadn't even though of myself as old (well, not THAT old) and suddenly here I am - an almost 50 year old menopausal grannie! How the hell did that happen?
Only a year ago I was just a mother in her 40's and now...well, old women's business! And I wasn't prepared for old women's business and I don't even know that first thing about menopause, so this has been a true trial by fire - internally, externally, literally and metaphorically as well. Needless to say I have had to trawl the internet for information about menopause and general 'old lady' business as a consequence. And I even went to the local library to borrow books on the topic; god forbid should anyone see me at a book store buying an old lady manual like 'Everything you wanted to know about menopause but were too afraid to ask,' but I really need to educate myself somehow!
And because this has all happened so rapidly, I also needed to do the old 'self litmus' test, you know what I am talking about, when you start asking yourself the 'is this normal?' questions that you only ever worry about when your body starts doing weird shit that it wasn't doing before, like producing more heat than lava. And guess what? Turns out it is normal! So yay, but also boo as well really. 
​Anyway, the summer of 2024 will go down as the sweatiest summer of my life now, well I hope it will be because I really don't want several years of this, but according to everything that I read so far, unless you want to go on Hormone Replacement Therapy, which has a host of it's own issues and symptoms, you just have to suck it up really and go along for the ride and just calmly wait for my body to completely dry up like an old husk of its former self. And that can take anywhere from 6 months to 7 years, so yep, there could well be a few more sweaty summers ahead of me yet! Ah, the true joys of being a woman. Turns out that a vagina really is the gift that just keeps on giving! 

POOR THINGS 
Release Date: 2023
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 142 mins 
If you are looking for something completely out of the box and utterly unique then look no further, Poor Things delivers on all counts. Brilliantly fantastical, artistically designed and continually teetering on the verge of being absolutely bonkers, this latest offering from visionary director Yorgos Lanthimos is not only his best work, but for me, is one of the best movies of 2023. And after garnering lots of attention for it's salacious behaviours and just as many accolades for it's terrific performances and original story-telling, Poor Things quickly became the must see movie of the year. 
Dr. Godwin Baxter, a Frankenstein-eque surgeon, discovers the beautiful, pregnant but unfortunately dead body of a young woman by the edge of a London river. He decides to transplant the brain of her still alive but unborn baby into her adult body and re-animate her, creating 'Bella' a child-like adult in search of delicious and daring experiences. 
This is a wildly original romp into madness and hilarity with Emma Stone delivering at her best as Bella, Mark Ruffalo amusing completely as the lecherous deviant Duncan Wedderburn and Willem Dafoe bringing hideous-genius to life as Dr Godwin Baxter. However underneath all of the hilarity is a story that delivers like a modern day fairy-tale of self discovery, enlightenment and deliverance that is both playful and contemplative. 
The fantasy design and costumes are strikingly good, the details are just amazing, from start to end. I am fairly sure that this is a film that people are going to talk about for years to come, and one that is destined to become a cult classic. For me, Poor Things hits all the right notes in all the right order, and I couldn't help but applaud it and award it a Hall of Fame - 5 Chilli Peppers of greatness. 
FINAL SAY: I have adventured it and found nothing but sugar and violence. 
5 Chilli Peppers ​

It would be fair to say that December wasn't my favourite month of the year this year. I had a huge overhaul of my long term plans, my goals and my life choices, and although this is an extremely cathartic thing to do, particularly at the end of a year, it is a whole other thing when it is actually just thrust upon you to do so. Which is how things went for me at the end of the year. You see, I thought that I had a rather solid plan for the next eight odd years of life and then it turned out that I didn't and it was a bit of a shock to the system to be honest.
The worse part of all was that it happened when everyone else was winding down for the holidays and merry making and feeling jovial and I just wasn't feeling it at all, I just wanted to go to bed, pull the covers up over my head and sleep until Christmas and all the jolly carry on was over this year. I felt deflated, directionless, let down, devalued and to be 100% truthful, I was actually depressed as hell.
Depression does not make you very good company during the silly season, it does not make you fun and it does not make you the life of the Christmas party, it makes you hard work and it makes you a Christmas sad sack. That is what I have been, a Christmas sad sack. I've tried so hard to put on a happy face and join in as best as I can, but god it has been hard.
The food didn't taste great, the wine didn't interest me, the gifts were irrelevant and pointless and everything about the season was a slog. I have never felt so tired, drained and uninterested in Christmas in my life. I just wanted a tap out, from everyone and everything, and most of all from my sad, sad self. How pathetic!
But, it turns out that the universe has others plans for me, which are continuing to unfold themselves on the daily at the moment, but when it comes to my employment choices, well that took a sharp turn at Albuquerque and it appears that my destiny does not lie where I thought it did.  Just when I thought that I saw a clear road ahead and a new way through, well I came to realise that that road was never meant for me at all. What I am actually meant to be doing is yet to reveal itself, but what I have been getting is a tonne of messages of a spiritual nature that are leading me back to my spiritual practises and opening new doorways with the right kinds of people.
Offers to join meditation groups, prayer circles, co-incidental meetings of spiritual healers and spiritual practitioners, an overwhelming reaching out in the form of kind messages from fellow meditators and like minded individuals around the globe that have been continuously flooding in, making it impossible for me to ignore the pull towards healing and self care. 
And not a moment too soon either, because I have a grandchild on the way in 2024, and if that isn't something worth getting excited about, then nothing is! And I will be damned if I am going to let the funk of 2023 ruin the opportunities of 2024 for me. Nope, all of that bullshit is over and done with now, it is time to leave all of that behind and forge valiantly into a new year, a new me and a new way of being. I feel a lot like a snake that has shed its skin, and now the possibilities seem endless for me. I can literally go wherever I want, do whatever I want and forge out a brand new pathway for myself in whatever fashion I like now. 
I have had a seismic shift, a re-route and a complete unravelling of the old me, and now, I look on at the blank canvas before me, ready to be made into whatever  I chose for me and my world. What a perfect way to end a year and start a new; 2024 is going to be my best year yet, I can already feel it. 

LEAVE THE WORLD BEHIND
Release Date: 2023
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 138 mins 
An apocalyptic thriller with an all star cast that was produced, written and directed by Sam Esmail, who is best known for his epic work on the television series Mr Robot.  The strength of Leave The World Behind really lies in the performances, everyone is delivering exceptionally well in this film, which elevates the simple and quite eerie storyline to greater heights because of that.
A family heads away for an unplanned holiday at a remote rental that guarantees that you can 'leave the world behind' when you stay there. Keen for some respite the family rush there and attempt to settle in for some down time when the owners of the establishment arrive unannounced, asking to re-enter their home due to black outs and strange occurrences that are happening in the city. 
As with all apocalyptic movies, things go from bad to worse pretty quickly, but in subtle and increasing ways. The whole thing unfolds in an unsettling fashion, but what I loved most about the film was that it was actually implying that America is a completely screwed up country that lacks the ability to save itself when push comes to shove. This is very far removed from the 'Americans save the world' apocalyptic tropes that we have been spoon fed for decades, and honestly it was refreshing. 
As I said earlier, the cast is terrific, with notable performances from Julia Roberts, Mahershala Ali, Ethan Hawke and Kevin Bacon and I do recommend a watch, especially if you enjoy apocalyptic tales. 
FINAL SAY: There is no going back to normal. 
3.5 Chilli Peppers ​

Yes, we have all heard it before, the truth will set you free and liberate you and blah, blah, blah...but sometimes the truth can be a motherfucker and throat punch you to the ground, especially if you aren't expecting it. And even when well meaning people may deliver truths to you in a kind a gentle way, some truths are never easy to hear or experience. For me, there are a couple of really scathing truths that tend to sting like a bitch and unfortunately, never get easier to deal with no matter how wise or well travelled you may get to be in this life time. 
The first truth that blows is getting old, it's an unavoidable truth and we can't do anything about it, everyone on the planet is getting older by the day. And, to be honest I am actually really cool about getting old most of the time, but sometimes my ego takes a slap and I feel like the frumpiest, fattest and oldest person in the room on those days and I hate the truth about getting old. 
I get these feelings only when someone that is the same as age as me is around and another person points out (like I am not even in the room) that they look so much younger than me. Now it is also really poor manners in my mind to say shit like that anyway, but you would not believe how many times this has actually happened to me (concerningly more than twice now); and does it sting? Oh fuck yes it does! No one minds being old, but when people point out that someone looks a lot younger than you and they are your age, it is really not good for your ego. 
Generally, comments like this send me into a tail spin of confusion and self loathing. It usually goes like this: Am I looking ancient? Why don't I look younger? How much younger do they think that person is than me? I think they look my age, am I delusional? What am I doing wrong? I think I look okay, am I delusional about what I actually look like as well? Should I up my skin regimen? Do I need to get botoxed? What the fuck are people thinking when they look at me, that I look old?  Ahhhhh..... Basically it is gross and although I can accept the truth about getting older, the comments made about looking older than a peer are just too harsh a truth to swallow and I wish people wouldn't do it. 
However, that being said all power to the lucky people who do look younger than their age, that's awesome for them, just crappy for me because I clearly look every bit of my almost 50 years. And this brings me to another shitty truth, that women over 40 are invisible. I've whined about this one before so I am going to keep it brief, but once a woman gets to a certain vintage, they become about as appealing as a petrol station hot dog. Sure other women will listen to their wisdom, but men couldn't give a fuck about them and it doesn't even matter if they are fit or well put together, men just aren't that interested in women over 40, it's a proven fact. But being invisible in one thing, when you get to 50, you start to become irrelevant as well and men will literally walk into you on the street like you weren't even there! There are only two ways to gain back the attentions of men (should you want that) as you get older. The first is surgery, you need to get surgery so that you look 20 years younger or you can become a bag lady like the crazy cat lady on The Simpsons and gain attention by being the scary, weird, witch woman of the town that men will definitely notice so that they can avoid completely. Neither of these options appeal to me, so invisible and irrelevant it is then!
And the final truth that kills, and cannot be avoided is that in your life you are going to have to deal with break ups. Breaking up, whether from a relationship, friendship or kinship hurts like a motherfucker! The old adage that breaking up is hard to do is so very, painfully true. There is no way to avoid it, we all go through different break ups. Sometimes it is a death, sometimes it is divorce or separation and sometimes it is abandonment or estrangement, none of it is easy. You have to go through all of the stages of separation one way or another, and it is hard and it takes time and it feels like you're never going to get better when you are in it.
We've all been there and we have all seen the struggle in others, and it is hard and horrible. Breaking up is, for me, the hardest truth of them all. I think that is because I love very deeply and give a great deal of myself to all of my relationships, so breaking up in any form is really difficult for me and takes me a lot of time and also therapy to recover from.  I also really hate to watch others go through it almost as much as I hate to experience it myself, and because the process of actually letting go it is so unique for everyone, it is also challenging to predict how people will cope and how much to intervene or advise. Breaking up is hard to do and that is a shitty and horrible truth.
You know what, sometimes the truth does not set you free at all! Sometimes the truth fucking sucks, and that is one truth that I can get behind!

THE DRY 
Release Date: 2020
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 117 mins
An Australian drama mystery based on the novel of the same name by Jane Harper and a sweet return to great Australian cinema for me. It's been a while since I have seen such an excellent depiction of the harsh, dry Aussie landscape and The Dry manages to captures it; and the attitudes of small rural communities in Victoria with a plausible authenticity. 
Federal Agent Aaron Falk (Eric Bana) returns to his home town under the request of his childhood friend's parents. They are seeking Falk's help in the investigation around their son's death and the strange and unsettling circumstances that surround it. Falk reluctantly tries to solve the mystery of the heinous crime but finds himself dragged back into another local drama that forced him to flee the town many years ago. 
Eric Bana is brilliant as Falk and it was so good to see him back on screen again after such a long hiatus. He is well supported by Genevieve O'Reilly, John Polson and Miranda Tapsell but it cannot be denied that The Dry  is definitely held up by Bana's performance. 
Amidst the complexities of the crimes being unveiled throughout the film are some really solid messages about small town loyalties and the need for secrecy and acceptance in tight knit rural communities. The struggles of the farmers and labourers are also touched upon and the unforgiving and dangerous Aussie landscape provides a perfectly formidable backdrop to all of the drama.
FINAL SAY: The biggest secrets can never stay hidden. 
3 Chilli Peppers ​

Why do we defy? What is happening inside of us when we feel the need to defy? Usually it is some kind of authority or something that we may feel oppressed by or overwhelmed by that may trigger a need in us to resist openly and boldly. The need to defy rather than accept is human, we all do it, but the degree that we feel compelled to do it, does differ from person to person. So why do some people feel like they need to defy more often or more strongly when others are just happy to comply? And what is actually going on when we find ourselves falling into defiance? 
The topic of defiance is as complex in its psychology, design and origin as the cosmos. Sometimes defiance happens because it is expressing a need, other times it is expressing a deficit or disgust and sometimes defiance can be as simple as your mood or your internal stress levels on any given day. Whatever the reason, we have all at some stage felt the urge to fight back, push back, refuse to accept or bristle against, and that my friends is defiance.
What I can tell you, is that people don't defy for nothing, so for whatever reason, the person in defiance feels very justified in their defiance, which makes it one of the most difficult states to alter and manage and it is why people will so stubbornly adhere to their defiance's. Just like our values and morals, our defiance levels are part of who we are, but there has been some interesting scientific investigation into the topic of defiance that suggests that some people may have less control over their defiance than others. 
At its most simple definition, defiance is basically control aversion. It is the urge that all humans have to rebel against control over one's decisions or ideals. It can be explained by investigating the connectivity between two regions of the brain (the parietal and frontal lobes) as well as behavioural measures of distrust or a lack of understanding. It has been scientifically proven that people with stronger synchronous activation of the two mentioned brain regions were more likely to demonstrate stronger defiant behaviours. They were also more likely to struggle with trust, real consequence constructions and overall decision making. 
When children go into defiance mode, they go hard; this is because they are generally lacking the language or emotional aptitude (due to their immaturity) to restrain or comprehend their feelings of defiance, so they often demonstrate their defiance physically, violently or in extreme measures. Defiance in children often looks like stubbornness, annoyance, refusal or obstinance. It can look pretty much the same in people that have a strong link between the partial and frontal lobes of their brains. These people are synonymous throughout history with rebellion, insurrection, mutiny, revolt, revolution and uprising. They are people who can get a crowd into a flurry when they get going!
And sometimes, we need people to perform these tasks, we need people to revolt, to speak out, to push back and to question the status quo. If there was never any defiance in the world we would have some very serious problems. Corruption, abuse, war and and manipulation would be rife and people with little conscience would rule the planet while everyone else would happily conform like a bunch of mindless lemmings. Not a very appealing prospect at all.
It is true, we do need defiance, it serves a purpose, we need it to protect and defend ourselves and others. However, it is worth noting that not everyone has their defiance levels in check and some people will defy that the sky is blue just to engage another persons limits. This is when defiance is not pro-active or necessary, it is destructive, foolish and thoughtless. It is not empowering, it is disempowering. It is not strong, it is challenging. It is not pushing back, it is pushing over.
Learning to understand where your own levels of defiance sit and where the line sits between proactive and destructive defiance is a moral obligation that we all owe to ourselves and everyone else that we share this incredible planet with. Sometimes defiance is needed and sometimes compliance is necessary, and knowing when to use each of them will make you a better person. And if like me, you think that you may have a strong connection between your parietal and frontal lobe that make you want to fight the powers that be and be a little more defiant than you probably need to be at times, don't despair. Put your penchant for defiance to good use and always stand up for the underdog, question anyone that is obviously a gas lighter, oppressor or fuckwit and try hard to use your powers of defiance to do good things in the world. You don't have to start a revolution to be making changes and you don't have to insight a rebellion to gain a following, and don't you forget that!

​SAINT MAUD
Release Date: 2021 
Rating: MA 
Running Time: 84 mins 
A British psychological thriller that could have easily sat on the gritty list due to its disturbing behaviours and shocking outcomes. Directed by Rose Glass in her feature directorial debut, Saint Maud has received rich critical acclaim for its direction, atmosphere, performances and score. 
A young and deeply pious hospice nurse becomes obsessed with her client, a terminally ill dancer. Desperate to save her client's soul before she dies, Maud goes to extreme and dangerous lengths. 
Saint Maud is a genuinely unsettling watch that constantly swings between religious fanaticism, social awkwardness and a nauseating sense of discomfort and unease. Morfydd Clark portrays Maud with such striking and disturbing effect that you find yourself swimming upon the waves of ecstasy and horror along side of her and the finale delivers a slap down ending that is pretty unforgettable. 
Not an easy watch but Saint Maud is definitely not one to miss either. 
FINAL SAY: Never waste your pain.
4 Chilli Peppers ​

About five years ago I lost around 10 kilos and I felt amazing. Over the last 3 years, I have let that weight creep back on to my waistline, my thighs, my stomach and my bottom. I weigh around the same amount that I did when I told myself that I had to do something about my size five years ago. And it is so frustrating when you yo-yo diet and your weight goes up and down, especially when you are a very healthy eater and you are active. It's super annoying!
I 'hand on heart' honestly do 10,000 steps as a minimum every day, I also do yoga daily and I try to do a couple of HIIT or cardio workouts a week as well. I am pretty active and I am strong, there is no denying that. But since my hysterectomy and my onset menopause, I have started to put weight on and part of that is hormonal and part of that is the portions of food that I eat.
You see, I LOVE FOOD! Always have and always will. I love to shop for it, prepare it, cook it and eat it. I enjoy everything that goes with food. The foraging, purchasing and harvesting, the ritual of creating in the kitchen and eating at the table and the intense sensory experiences that come with a well made meal. I adore all of the smells and textures, the tastes and the flavours, I love it all!
This love of all things food related has led me to probably eat far more than I should be eating for my size, because I am actually only 5 foot 5inches, but I can easily eat a bear man sized meal for dinner if I am hungry.  I also cannot control myself when it comes to bread and butter (lord my thighs) incredible cakes and desserts (god my flabby tummy) and pretty much anything Italian or Thai (Mamma Mia my arse)! I also really like wine and whiskey and well, just really delicious cocktails and drinks that have far too many calories. 
Anyway, this has led to me looking more Flabbitha Cristie than Agatha Cristie and I made a promise to myself that I was going to get down to a respectful and healthy weight range on the scales this year and say goodbye to the yo-yo dieting for good.  But as we all know, fridge pickers wear big knickers, so no more cheeky ice-creams, slices of cake or packets of chips for me for a while.  I now have my work cut for me once again and some dirty habits to cull if I am going to make this happen.  And you know what? I did it before and I think that with a few simple changes I can actually fix things again pretty quickly.
So, I have set myself a goal of getting back to a healthy BMI rating this year. At the moment I fall into the overweight category (not by a lot but any amount in the overweight category is never good) and it is certainly not good for my heart or prospects of longevity. To be clear, I am not looking for thin, skinny or lean, I am an almost 50 year old, post hysterectomy, menopausal, middle-aged woman, I don't need thin, I need wellness. I am looking for a healthy and sustainable weight that I can maintain without having to forgo all of the consumable joys that make life just a bit juicier and a lot more delicious. 
Now because my activity levels are pretty high already, it is my diet that I have to address. And this basically all comes down to portion size. I just eat too much and my servings are too large. I also know that I eat too many carbs and need to get more fill from veggies. And I have to find something else to do between 3 and 5 pm because that is the time that I am most prone to inhaling something grossly carb heavy and generally bad for me. 
Trust me, I know how to make this work, I really do already know the drill and I know how it goes! I have lost and gained weight all of my life. I even gained 5 kilos after each of my pregnancies but that still didn't put me into the overweight BMI category that I now find myself in. And I really don't want the scale to be the goal this time, I want the lifestyle habits to be the goal. I want to learn how to manage my eating forever, not just until I see a certain number on the scale.
So I already know that going hard and fast is a method, but it never sticks.  All or nothing works well too, but it is gruelling and horrible and hard to sustain. And just getting to a goal number works, but I have never been able to maintain that number. So, it is a whole lifestyle choice overhaul this time, and it needs to be a permanent choice, not just a 'until I get there' choice, which is what I have done every other time. 
This time I am doing things differently, I am going to reach a healthy BMI by changing the way that I look at food and managing my caloric intake - PERMANENTLY! First thing that I need to do is get a lot better at healthy menu planning and meal/snack prepping. I do menu plan but I don't always go for the healthiest recipes and until I can manage my cravings, I probably should avoid putting too many high calorie options on the menu. That's going to be my starting point and I will keep myself accountable by blogging about my progress once a month as well. Great - got a solid plan, I'm off to the drawing board and the fruit bowl!

THE MENU
Release Date: 2022
Rating: M 15+
Running Time: 107 mins 
A black-comedy drama directed by Mark Mylod and written by Seth Reiss and Will Tracy that will have you inspired by the epicurean delights and horrified by the monstrous behaviours. 
A group of wealthy guests that includes acclaimed food critics, movie stars and successful business tycoons and professionals ascend on a remote private island to be immersed in an exclusive culinary experience delivered by world renown celebrity chef Julian Slowik. A series of decadent and painstakingly created course are delivered with a monologue and introductions from Julian himself, but as the night slowly progresses so does the extreme delivery of the menu. 
Actors Hong Chau, Anya Taylor-Joy, Nicholas Hoult and John Leguizamo are all terrific, but it is Ralph Fiennes who shines the brightest here, delivering all of chef Julian Slowik's intensity and insanity with a flawless ease and compelling conviction.
Deliciously evil and delightfully entertaining, The Menu delivers a hard hitting social commentary about wealth, privilege and exploitation. It is over the top bonkers at times, and utterly implausible, but it is a highly entertaining satire worthy of your time.  
FINAL SAY: You will eat less than you desire and more than you deserve. 
4 Chilli Peppers ​

After passing along covid to the entire family for Christmas we all found ourselves back together for new years eve. I mean, no risk of anyone getting sick if everyone's already riddled with the contagion right? There was little point to us all isolating from each other when we were all carrying the same strain and generally feeling fine; so, all of us 'sickies' congregated on the deck out here in Enfield to share a few nibbles and drinks, listen to some tunes and make some resolutions.
And looking back across the landscape of 2022, it really wasn't a bad year by any stretch of the imagination. Sure, things got a bit pear shaped towards the end, but generally speaking things were pretty cruisy and I got to do so many things once everything opened up again and the world got rolling again.
Here are some of my personal highlights from 2022: 
JANUARY: 30 Days of Yoga with Adriene, Smoker arrives in Enfield, Seth's 17th birthday, Bridal dress shopping with Zoe, Seeing Harry Potter - The Cursed Child in Melbourne, tuning in to the Triple j Hottest 100, Paint Your Mate event. 
FEBRUARY:  Chinese New Year celebrations, Smythesdale Fiesta, Ghost Hunting at Blackwood Pub, Spa day with Craig, Summersalt Music Festival, Blackberry picking. 
MARCH: Deep Blue Spa Day, My friends and family being a huge support to me when I had covid on my birthday!
APRIL: Easter Sunday with the family, April holiday break, ELVIS exhibition in Bendigo, Metal detecting with Ben and Zoe, Craig's Mustang arrived.
MAY: A trip to the Gisborne markets, Mother's Day, Spicywatch's 8th Birthday, Tour of the Old Ballarat Gaol, Seth's formal, Barwon Manor Ghost Hunt, Seth's Deb Ball. 
JUNE: Illuminate at the Bendigo Stupa, Mushrooming, Salem is born, Port Campbell Road Trip, Psychic expo, Winter School Holidays, Creswick Ghost Hunt, Zoe's 25th Birthday.
JULY: Winter Movie Marathon nights,  Road trip to Barwon Heads, Twin Peaks show at Hepburn Springs, POCO Short Film Festival, a trip to the Clunes markets. 
AUGUST:  Salem joined our family, The LUME gallery - Van Gogh exhibition, completed the Heritage walk, Book week dress up. 
SEPTEMBER: Father's Day, Spring School Holiday Break, Kyneton Ghost Hunting, High Tea at Fortuna, Girls Road Trip. 
OCTOBER:  Mother of the Bride dress shopping, Seth's last day at Damascus, Yoga Festival in Bendigo, Pumpkin carving, Halloween horror movie/ dinner night.
NOVEMBER: Hen's weekend in Melbourne with Zoe, High Tea at The Grand Hyatt, Zoe and Ben's wedding in Hepburn, Grade 4 Camp at Narmbool, Seth's Year 12 graduation, Spa day with Craig, 28th Wedding Anniversary.
DECEMBER: Carols event, Renault Koleos arrived, Summer Holidays kicking off, Christmas, fishing at Jubilee Lake. 

Pretty fair to say that even in spite of having had covid twice this year (once on my birthday and once at Christmas), getting my poor car's face pranged in and having to navigate the financial pitfalls of 2022, I have still had a really lovely year. 
There is a lot here to celebrate and appreciate that's for sure. And on top of all of that, I have also managed to squeeze in:

• Daily meditation.
• 62 books.
• Workouts - 5 times a week.
• 185 movies.
• 10,500 steps a day.
• 158 TV series.
• 42 brunches/ lunches and  delicious restaurant meals with family and friends. 
• A daily French lesson on Duolingo.
• Brain Gym everyday for 10 minutes a day.
• And....I reviewed another 45 movies on Spicywatch.

Woohoo! That's a lot of 'doing' for one year! 
And now, as 2023 gently unfurls itself before me I wonder what will arrive in the next 12 months. Only time will tell, but let's hope it's as exciting as the last year was for me. 

C'MON C'MON 
Release Date: 2021
Rating: M
Running Time: 109 mins 
A touching and truly effecting drama that was written and directed by Mike Mills. It's been a while since I have watched something this genuinely raw and real. With an undeniable sweet chemistry between Joaquin Phoenix and Woody Norman and filmed in moody black and white, this tale about an uncle and his nephew transcends in the simplest and purest of ways. 
Johnny and Viv have become estranged siblings since the painful death of their mother from dementia. When Johnny reaches out to Viv for the first time in a year he is saddened to hear about the struggles that she has been having managing her estranged husband's mental wellbeing. Viv reveals that she needs to be with her husband as they try to find him the correct care but doesn't have a carer for her nine year old son Jesse. Johnny volunteers to care for his nephew whilst Viv deals with her husband, and he and Jesse embark on a life changing road trip together. 
This is a stunningly beautiful movie about family loyalties, caring for others and uncovering unknown and foreign aspects of ourselves. The struggles and the triumphs feel incredibly plausible and as a parent, very relatable. The fragility and the strength of the ties that bind us to those we love are explored in sensitive and heartfelt ways and the cast is exceptionally good all round. 
C'mon C'mon is unmissable viewing, and it's definitely one of the best dramas to come out of 2021, so make the time to see it whenever you can. 
FINAL SAY: In your confusion and delight, you will forget where you came from.
4.5 Chilli Peppers ​

Since my last blog post, we have experienced a string of rather unfortunate events. I guess that it was bound to happen eventually, we were riding pretty high on the wave of good fortune and happy times, and even the stupidest people know that nothing stays like that forever. To every action there is an equal and opposite reaction and well, I think we have gotten ours. 
On the day that I was to collect my new car, yep, you heard right, a new car - I got a new car for Christmas! I told you we were riding the wave high! A flash car too, a brand new Koleos Intens Renault, flash as hell with all the trimmings and a pearl white glaze, a real beauty! It was the last day that I would ever have to drive my darling Penelope (my Holden Cruz) before she was handed over to Seth for his 18th birthday. I was dropping Craig off at his work to collect his work ute after his break up the night before when an old, half deaf and clearly half blind guy backed his massive 4WD with a tow ball into the front of Penelope. Poor Penelope! Her beautiful face all crumpled up!
Okay, not so bad, the car is still 100% working, a little uglier but it wasn't our fault, I'll just get the quote done and get her all fixed up to hand over to Seth in January. Turns out that the old fellows insurance company only uses one repair place in Ballarat, which is fully booked until March! So poor Penelope has to go about with her face caved in for the next few months and we have to give the car to Seth with her face caved in which is just as sad. Ahhhh! So not the way we planned for things to go. 
And then I collected my Koleos and the sun came out and the world didn't look so shitty again. I have called my new car Pierre. Firstly because he is French and secondly because Koleos means testicles in Latin and sheath in Greek, so with a collective meaning of dick and balls I could hardly give it a lady name could I? And so Pierre was born. We took Pierre out to stretch his legs the following day when we drove to Ararat to take my mum out for an early Christmas lunch. This is where we encounter our next wave of shit.
Unbeknownst to mum, she had contracted covid, and yep, you guessed it, so did we! Between then and now we have all succumbed to the dreaded lurgy and our second round of covid for 2022. I have been forced to cancel all of my plans for the week which included a breakfast gathering with my friends, a day out/ lunch/ drinks with Helen and my new years plans with Zoe and Ben which did include tickets to an escape room. Talk about a bummer, got me a brand new whip and I can't even take him out! We are all housebound and robbed of a week of holiday adventures. I want to say that I don't care, but I do. It's shithouse, it's annoying and it's massively inconvenient.  
However, what goes up must come down, and so it goes. No point carrying on about it, it happened. There was nothing we could've done to prevent any of it, none of it was our fault, it just happened. Did we want Penelope to get her face smashed in and have another a round of covid for Christmas? Nope! But there is fuck all that we can do about any of that, so it's time to find the shine in the grime and embrace the distaste. I now have more than enough time to get Spicywatch.com back up and thumping. I can set up my diary and journal for 2023. I can clean up the house, take down the Christmas decorations and get some yard work done.  I can put firm plans in place for 2023 and research cool road trips for Pierre to take me on. Yeah, I can turn this misfortune into a good use of my time and get some things sorted. I'm gonna pull myself out of this funk, shake off the blues and use this time to my advantage. 

THE BLUES BROTHERS 
Release Date: 1980
Rating: M
Running Time: 133 mins 
An American musical comedy directed by John Landis that has since become a cult classic. In 2020, The Blues Brothers was selected for preservation in the United States National Film Registry by the Library of Congress for being "culturally, historically or aesthetically significant."
Jake Blues is finally reunited with his brother Elwood after being released from prison. However, the brothers soon discover that the catholic home they were raised in is about to be closed. Determined to save it, they plan to throw a huge benefit concert. But first, they have to get the old band back together and embark on a wild, police chasing, road trip to make that happen. 
Originally a skit on Saturday Night Live, The Blues Brothers is a virtual who's who of Blues and Soul music and features musical performances from James Brown, Aretha Franklin, Ray Charles and John Lee Hooker to name but a few. And if you don't get a lot out of the storyline here, that's okay; the energetic and lively soundtrack makes this worth seeing on its own. 
John Belushi is at his absolute best here and even Dan Aykroyd, whom I am not a big of, manages to impress. Sure it's utterly implausible and deeply silly and makes very little sense at all, but it does rock very hard, and for that reason, it's definitely worth a look. 
FINAL SAY: We're on a mission from God. 
3.5 Chilli Peppers ​

I have no idea what happened to most of December, or November, or most of the second half of this year to be truthful. I know that it happened, I can recall specific events and I know that a lot of amazing, exciting and happy things happened, but the time period is sketchy to say the least. It feels like this year has travelled at break-neck speed and swept me along with it. It's been beautiful and busy, filled with outrageous good fortune and wellbeing and although I haven't ticked off all of my 'to do's' for the year yet, I can say without a word of a lie that I have had a tremendous time. 
In the last few weeks I've squeezed in a Christmas Carols and a KK event, ticked off the staff Christmas parties for both Craig and I, had an early family Christmas gathering with the in-laws, hosted a long lunch on the deck, attended Christmas church service twice and kindly fare-welled all of my work colleagues for the summer break. 
Yesterday, I joyfully finished work for the year and now I have the better part of six weeks off. Six weeks! Wow, it's almost too good to be true. And I am at the very best part of it all, the start and the week before Christmas at that! A whole swag of good stuff in store for the next few weeks, not to mention getting old Spicywatch.com back up and cranking again. I have really let my blog and movie reviewing fall to the wayside this year and although I had good intentions to complete all of my 'to review' movie list this year, I still have 39 films to go. The problem is that I keep watching new stuff and then I have new reviews to do as well. I guess 39 is really manageable though, so 2023 is looking really good for finally nailing my back catalogue of movies and adding them to the lists. 
Seth and I have begun to explore the Christmas themed viewing genre again in the last week and we have noticed that there is a huge, if not colossal, array of really shitty and very average Christmas themed movies (many of which appear to be attempting rom-com) available on streaming services at the moment. I mean there are so many of them, and they literally all just popped up out of nowhere and seem to have a bunch of unknowns starring in them as well. I have given them a very wide berth and opted for a couple of oldies but goodies to get the Christmas vibes going. 
Last night we stumbled on Silent Night (see review below) and although I really liked it, it's not what I would call a 'feel good' Christmas tale. We have also really enjoyed re-watching some Aussie faves like The Moody Christmas series and Da Kath and Kim Code, neither of which ever fail to satisfy. We are saving Spirited (the new Will Ferrell Christmas movie) for Christmas Eve and we will still squeeze in a few more gems before the big day. It's just lovely to be able to waste a little time in front of the TV to be honest, finally it's time to exhale again!

SILENT NIGHT
Release Date: 2021
Rating: M
Running Time: 92 mins 
If it's fuzzy, feel-good Christmas viewing material that you after, then don't look here! Silent Night, written and directed by Camille Griffin, is certainly not fuzzy or feel-good in any way, we found that out the hard way when we chose to watch this the week before Christmas and got a little more than we had bargained for. However, if you like apocalyptic tales of terror and doom, them this will be right up your alley. 
This Christmas is a super special occasion for a group of friends who meet up every year, and that is because there is an imminent, deadly and unavoidable environmental catastrophe due to arrive within the next 24 hours.. The British government has issued suicide pills for a quick and easy death before the cloud hits Britain. As their final hours roll around, the friends and their children wrestle with their mortality and the morality of their situation. 
This film is terrifically cast with Matthew Goode, Keira Knightley, Roman Griffin Davis and Annabelle Wallis heading the line up, but in truth the entire cast carry this tale to new dimensions, and even the children are superb here. 
Silent Night may not be the brightest pre-Christmas watch, but it does pack an unforgettable punch. 
FINAL SAY: 
3 Chilli Peppers ​

Your body is sending you signals all of the time. Most of the time we are so wrapped up in whatever we are doing that we fail to hear or recognise these signals. When this happens, we get lethargic, we feel weary and sometimes we even get ill. In extreme cases we can even suffer disease, serious sickness or worse still; incurably poor health.
Recently a lot of research and energy has gone into understanding our bodies as a type of eco-system. An individually and uniquely designed system that needs to be in balance to thrive and blossom. Our bodies need balance, rest, nutrients and attention in order to work at peak performance, so ignoring even the most subtle of messages can spell disaster down the track if it goes unnoticed. 
So what should we keep an eye out for? To be honest any signal of imbalance should be treated as serious and dealt with right away in order to quell further problems, but it is a good idea to know what some of those subtle differences may be and potentially what they could be indicating. 
Let's start at the top of the body and work our way down from there. The head is a vitally important part of our body, it houses our brain, eyes, ears, nose and mouth, not to mention it is often fully exposed to the elements much of the time and can therefore also be prone to skin eruptions and abrasions. In short, head signals can be very unforgiving and frequent. 
Headaches can be a sign of feeling overwhelmed or having difficulty dealing with new demands, this in turn can lead to sleeping difficulties, a lack of alertness or agency and can cause people to lose control of situations around them. Any headache or brain discomfort should be investigated immediately by a trained physician, as should any interruptions to the senses of the face such as sight, hearing, smelling or tasting. Many stress, anxiety and anger signals are triggered around the face and head and can indicate a need for attention, therapy or adjustment. If you have frequent headaches it can indicate a serious underlying condition and you should seek medical advise asap. 
Down to the chest we go and we are on the look out for any shortness of breath or laboured and uneasy breathing. Chest pressure can be your bodies way of signalling potential threats or fear of the unknown and it can be alleviated through calming and meditative practises. Of course, any serious chest or breathing problems should always be checked by a professional, but recognising when your body is reacting to certain situations will allow you to better understand when the need for professional intervention is required and when it is not. Hundreds of people rock up to the emergency department every year with chest pains and breathing difficulty claiming to be having a heart attack when they were really just have a panic or anxiety attack. This is why it is important to get to know your body so that you can decipher what it is trying to tell you. 
Heading down further we encounter the gut. The gut is a labyrinth of nerve endings and a biome of its own that resides within your lower abdomen. Recent studies believe that the gut is every bit, perhaps even more, complex than the human brain. It appears that we store much of our stress, anxiety and worry in our gut and any digestive problems or changes in appetite can be a call to attention around unresolved issues and emotional baggage. Gut feelings really are gut feelings, and recent research into the gut is revealing a multitude of fascinating and important body hacks about the gut, so keep your ear to the ground on this topic because I think we are going to be seeing a lot more focus in this area of health in the coming years. 
Now lets not forget to address out limbs, back and feet. Sore feet, muscle fatigue, tension, pinched and aching limb ailments have all been linked to supressed emotions. Turns out that your gut isn't the only thing storing all those bad vibes, your muscles, skin and bones do it too and it can manifest in a number of aching and annoying ways throughout your system. Skin break outs, rashes, aches, pains, stiffness, throbbing and numbness have all been linked to stress and anxiety conditions and have shown vast improvement when treated with gentle, holistic and calming treatment methods. 
Any restlessness, inability to settle or ground yourself is another way that your body sends you signals that you aren't operating at 100%. Even a simple niggle or nuisance pain can turn into something significant if it is left unattended for long enough, so long story short, never ignore the signals that your body sends to you. Listen to that twinge, notice that knot and be attentive to anything that seems odd, out of the norm or annoying within your system. And never forget one of my favourite pieces of advise; that if you listen to your body when it whispers, then you'll never have to hear it scream. So please, tune in and stay strong. 

NOPE
Release Date: 2022
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 130 mins 
Jordan Peele delivers a unique mix of sci-fi suspense and horror that is destined to become a cult classic with Nope. With elements of early '80s Spielberg and a big nod to classic sci-fi monster horror, Nope manages to be sharp, funny and creepy in ways that the sci-fi/ horror genre hasn't been in a very long time. 
Em and OJ Haywood have inherited their father's ranch after he is killed in a freak accident on the property. The two attempt to keep the family legacy afloat by selling horses to a nearby Western Theme Park, however, at night, strange and inexplicable things are occurring and their horses are being effected. 
This sounds like a simple story, but it really isn't. There is also a second story running along side that invokes a chimpanzee and a '90s sitcom TV program, but I really don't want to spoil anything for you. In fact the less you know the better here. I went in blind and thoroughly enjoyed the ride. 
The cast is really strong here with Keke Palmer, Daniel Kaluuya, Brandon Perea and Steven Yeun all giving terrific performances. Michael Wincott is also fabulous as the creative film-maker and Keith David rounds things out perfectly as the Haywood patriarch and ranch owner Otis Haywood. 
Teamed with excellent special effects and unnerving sound effects, Nope will stick with you and have you pondering the clouds more than you did before you saw this film. 
FINAL SAY: Yeah, nah nah nah. 
3.5 Chilli Peppers ​

Last week we welcomed a new kitten into our lives. Salem, our black eight week old kitten arrived in Enfield just ten days ago after a screaming drive home from Melbourne to relocate with us. Born from a stray cat and delivered inside of a lawn mower catcher in my brothers backyard, Salem is anything but meek and has been tearing up our home, scratching up the place and making herself more than comfortable in our now very kitten proofed home. 
I cannot deny that I seriously under-estimated how much energy kittens can have, especially since we had a geriatric cat for about a decade that did nothing but eat, snuggle and sleep. Salem does those three cat things a lot as well, but she also jumps, runs, skitters, drags,  chews, destroys, pounces, climbs, bites and scratches. And all of this is apparently very normal for a now nine week old kitten, but boy is it tiring! I am feeling a new level of fatigue that I haven't experienced since my children were toddlers. 
Kittens need a tonne of attention, that's the bottom line. And they require so much of your time, energy and commitment if they are to become well adjusted, content and loving adult pussy cats. In the last ten days alone we have had to navigate settling Salem into her new home environment, a trip to the vet for vaccinations and chipping (which made her so lethargic that I thought she was going to die) and then to add icing to the already quite stressful kitten cake, she also had a bout of explosive kitten diarrhoea which was not only messy and smelly, but truly gross and distressing.  
Has it been amazing? Yes at times, it has been extremely cute, cuddly and enjoyable. But mostly, it has been tiring, taxing, stressful and troubling. And so it should be right? We have literally introduced a wild animal into our home, what did we really expect was going to happen? Sure I had visions of tiny kitten cuddles, morning snuggles and sweet head-butting behaviours teamed with gentle but cute play, and yes we did get all of that, but we also got a tiny bundle of claws and teeth! A pint sized, furry, killing machine that appears to be hellbent on wearing us out, wrecking all of our stuff and keeping us up at night. 
The other day Seth was at home sick, really quite sick indeed and in need of some rest and recovery time.  He said that he was more than happy to do a spot of kitten sitting whilst he was resting at home. When I got home from work I asked how Salem had gone without Craig or I around. Poor Seth proceeded to explain that whilst we were out Salem had bouts of extremely high energy which involved zooming about the house, leaping off the furniture, scaling the fly wire screens, biting his feet, jumping on top of his head and attacking him on and off throughout the day. Needless to say, Seth did not get a lot of rest with all of that going on and he was also sporting some seriously welted battle scars on his stomach, arms and feet; clear evidence that Salem was indeed going bonkers and attacking him roughly. This was the point when we realised that our tiny Salem was going to be a handful and that the 'settling in to her new home' honeymoon was well and truly over!
And what do the experts say about all of this? They say that this is all very normal stuff, and we just have to stay calm and ride it out, that the kitten phase only lasts about a year so we should try to make the most of having a baby in the house. A YEAR! Wtf? I am going to look like that crazy cat lady off the Simpsons if this continues for a year! Walking around aimlessly in an unkempt state and talking gibberish to myself with a cat hanging off my back all of the time. I am praying that our little hellbender settles down a little bit sooner than that, but we will just have to do what the cat whisperer says and find our peace with it. 
When you adopt a pet you have to take it on completely. You sign up to see it through the vet visits, the bouts of explosive diarrhoea, the destruction of property and in our case the mental kitten stage! And you do that for the duration of its lifetime, no matter how it all turns out. When you become a pet owner, its a little like being a parent all over again, you don't get to tap out or check out and you have to make your peace with things going wrong from time to time. And I really cannot deny that in spite of Salem's hellbender antics, those delightful pussy cuddles, feathery soft fur pats and delightful tiny facial expressions do make every bit of the effort utterly worthwhile. 

​HELLBENDER
Release Date: 2022
Rating: R 18+
Running Time: 86 mins 
When it comes to low budget independent films, Hellbender has everything and everyone else trumped. While the rest of the world was lollygagging about during the covid-19 lockdown period, the Adams family were making this movie. And when I say making it, I mean writing, directing, filming, editing, costume designing, music composing and also acting in the lead roles. The trio - composed of John Adams, Toby Poser and Zelda Adams, collaborated on this low budget horror and the results are deeply impressive. 
A mother and her teenage daughter live a solitary life on an isolated mountain. They have their own band, they forage their own food and they appear to live a very peaceful and natural lifestyle, except for one detail. They are hellbenders, and if you want to know what that is, then you'll need to see the movie!
What Hellbender delivers may be janky in effects, but it more than makes up for that with its brilliant cinematography and gripping atmosphere. I was hooked at the 10 minute mark and I think that this little hidden gem deserves  lot more attention and applause. Toby Poser and Zelda Adams are incredibly good in front of the camera here, delivering a mother-daughter, coming of age folk tale like no other. 
FINAL SAY: Growing up is hell. 
3 Chilli Peppers ​

It's really okay to tip over, in fact it is very normal to feel tilted from time to time, especially in our current times. What I mean when I say tilted is a state of feeling, well... just a bit off really. You're not really yourself in totality if that makes sense. You aren't upset or angry or depressed,  you're just a bit tilted - left of centre, misaligned, not on target.
You may feel a little tired or you could be recovering from a recent illness. You may be trying to manage too many things at once and feel a bit torn between tasks or expectations. You aren't quite firing on all cylinders and it can be a bit annoying, concerning, confusing or perplexing when it happens. 
Generally, the tilted feeling doesn't last all that long - just a couple of days. Just long enough for us to notice that we aren't feeling like our usual selves and hopefully set about rectifying the imbalance. The tilted feeling, when I get it, is a gentle nudge from my body to say that something needs my attention. It's a gentle nudge at first and if I ignore it, it becomes something much harder to ignore.  It stops being a list and starts to become a problem. 
I don't know who coined the phrase - listen to your body when it whispers so that you don't have to hear it scream, but they were certainly on to something. This whisper that they speak of is the tilted feeling that I am speaking of; a gentle listing just to remind me that I have gone off course and am heading in a bad, troubling, unproductive or dangerous direction.
Often I experience 'tilting' when I have failed to replenish my own needs and my personal battery is beginning to run low. I feel tilted in the early days leading up to an illness, when I have done too much in too little time or I have given myself too many social interludes without any time to diffuse in between. Being an introvert, this can happen to me very easily.
My listing feeling may start like a headache or a bit of brain fog. It can be a tired feeling where I will just desperately feel like I need to be alone or withdraw. It can be an ache in my shoulders or my legs or my back that doesn't stop me from doing things but is as annoying as hell. It can present as little melancholy and low in energy and I can seem aloof, bored, disinterested or short. It's not black, it's blue; it's not dark it's slow moving and dull, like a tone running in the background. It can be ignored, but it never should be because as I said, it's whispering not yelling yet. 
Over the years I have become an expert at knowing what to do when I start to 'list' and I am very good at catching myself before I go full tilt overboard these days. Check out my top tips:
TIRED?

• Go to bed early for at least 3 days straight - duh!
• Clear the weekend, and stay home from Friday evening to Monday morning - full reboot. 
• Turn off the TV early and go read a book in bed. 
• Nap - get into the habit of napping when you can, it's awesome to nap. 
• Skip the gym/ workout for a day or two, you'll be fine!
• Meditate, it's super rejuvenating. 
• Wear peppermint essential oil. 
• Drink less coffee and eat more apples - it does work!

ACHING?

• Book a massage asap.
• Take a couple of Panadol/ Ibuprofen. 
• Have a long soak in the tub. 
• Lie down and put your feet up. 
• Splash lavender  and bergamot in your diffuser to soothe anxiety and stress. 
• Cut out the alcohol and clean eat for a few days to reset your system. 
• Make a doctors appointment if this a repeated/ persistent pain. 

OVERWHELMED WITH RESPONSIBILITY?

• Order in for a couple of days, you're too tired to cook. 
• Say no to people until you can manage more. 
• Farm the kids out for a night of peace and quiet. 
• Listen to an audio book when you are in the car to unwind and change your thought patterns after work. 
• Do what needs to be done only, fuck the rest it can wait. 
• Delegate, are you sure this is all yours to do? Are there other people who could take a bit of the load for you? 
• Reprioritise, what is more important? Your health and wellbeing are always the most important thing, so listen to your body!

I seriously suggest that you do listen to your body when it is trying to speak to you, and trust me when I say that your body is communicating with you at all times - because it is! Those little twinges, they don't stay little if you ignore them. Those aches gets tougher, the tiredness gets bigger and the feelings get stronger, so do not pretend that you can't hear those early warning signs that you are getting from your body - act swiftly and get on with your life! 

BRINGING OUT THE DEAD
Release Date: 1999
Rating: R 18+
Running Time: 121 mins 
An American psychological drama film directed by Martin Scorsese, written by Paul Schrader and based on the novel of the same name by Joe Connelly. Bringing Out The Dead is easily the most original and unique film of 1999 and with a stellar ensemble cast, there's a lot to like here. 
An exhausted Manhattan paramedic (Nicholas Cage) fights to retain his sanity under the strain of his demanding and stressful job. A double graveyard shift tests his fortitude further as things for him, and his three co-workers, continue to escalate.
Nicholas Cage is really 'bringing out his dead' here, delivering a believably strung out and exhausted paramedic as he convincingly meanders around the edges of a complete meltdown. He is incredibly well supported by Ving Rhames, John Goodman, Tom Sizemore and Patricia Arquette, and although it isn't pretty, Bringing Out The Dead is genuinely interesting and thought provoking material. 
FINAL SAY: Saving someone's life is like falling in love. The best drug in the world. 
​3.5 Chilli Peppers ​

When you are in a healthy relationship, things just seem to work. They aren't taxing, you don't have to compromise yourself or alter yourself to be accepted and appreciated and even though you may argue from time to time or occasionally traverse some troubled waters, you can generally bounce back, talk it out and move along with grace. 
Not all of our relationships in life are that good, in fact some of them can be downright toxic. Toxic relationships will test you, trial you and leave you feeling deflated and defeated and they can turn up in many different places. You could be in a toxic relationship with a partner, a sibling, a parent or even a work colleague. And these unpleasant relationships could be literally draining your resources and leaving you completely depleted.
Unfortunately, depending on the nature of the relationship, signs for toxicity can be subtle or very obvious and you may not even be noticing the red flags popping up because you are too close to the source to see what is going on. It's kind of like a 'can't see the woods for the forest' type of scenario. 
So, what are the signs to look for when it comes to identifying a toxic relationship? Well, let's get down to brass tacks and identify some things that you need to be on the lookout for. 
1. Lack of Support
Healthy relationships are supportive and caring, there is usually a desire to see others succeed so if there is competition or a lack of encouragement or care, this is cause for concern. Basically, if the time that you spend with someone no longer feels positive, if there is a lack of trust or care or if the other person is only ever worried or concerned about their own needs, then this is a red flag. 
2. Toxic Communication
If conversations are mostly filled with sarcasm, condescending tones and snide remarks then odds are the relationship is toxic. There will be a lack of kind or respectful talk and much of what is said will be delivered with contempt. You may find yourself avoiding contact with this person, avoiding their calls or doing other things just to avoid further argument or hostility. 
3. Envy or Jealousy
If you are constantly suspicious of someone's motives or have a feeling that you cannot trust someone, then you may have a toxic relationship on your hands. If someone treats you with suspicion, displays envy or jealous around your actions, choices or successes this is considered to be a serious red flag that should not be ignored. Controlling or manipulative relationships are extremely toxic and can be also become very dangerous and/ or abusive. 
4. Resentment
Healthy relationships let go and move along after problems or hiccups. Toxic relationships do not. Holding on to grudges and not letting go of things chips away at peoples ability to be intimate and trusting. Over time this gap becomes a chasm that cannot be crossed. Any relationship that nurses grievances and makes you feel unsafe to speak up is toxic. 
5. Disrespect
Any patterns of disrespect are cause for concern. Always being late, forgetting events, speaking to you poorly in front of other people, gaslighting you or saying provocative or insulting  statements are all part of a toxic relationship demographic. Consider patterns in these behaviours and how they affect your ability to have a healthy relationship with the person in question. 
6. Constant Stress
It is not normal to always fight with someone or to always have tension. Sure life happens, sometimes things do get stressful: a family member is ill, job loss, financial stresses happen, but if someone is always stressed without much reason and projecting this on to you, that is considered to be a toxic relationship trait. 
7. Ignoring Your Needs
Going along with whatever someone wants and says all the time is not healthy.  If you feel like putting forward your needs is going to trigger an argument then you have a toxic relationship on your hands. Also, if you clearly outline a need or boundary that needs to be respected and the person in question continues to ignore or disrespect that need, then is safe to say that this is a toxic one-sided relationship.
8. Walking on Eggshells 
Any relationship that laves you feeling like you are walking on eggshells is seriously toxic. if you worry about bringing up things, you feel like you'll provoke tension if you speak up and you always need to go out of your way to avoid conflict then you are in a very toxic relationship.

However, it is important to know that although many people assume that toxic relationships are doomed, this isn't always the case. The deciding factor? That both people in the relationship want to change. If only person is invested in creating healthy patterns, than there is unfortunately very little likelihood that things will get better. In order to move forward look for these positive signs that your relationship still has a chance:

• An ability to accept responsibility 
• A willingness to invest in the relationship
• An ability to shift from blame to understanding
• Openness to outside help and support

With time, patience and diligence, toxic relationships can be improved, so don't be afraid to acknowledge if you are struggling with a toxic relationship that requires further support or intervention. Make sure that what you are experiencing isn't an abusive relationship rather than a toxic one and again seek support and guidance if you feel like this may be the case. 
We aren't all blessed with high functioning, loving or supportive relationships and no-one has to tolerate being treated poorly or being disrespected. Toxic relationships are extremely hard work and can be exceptionally detrimental in the long run, so always remember your worth and the importance of healthy relationships. You deserve to have good healthy relationships, so don't settle for being treated poorly by the people who should treat you better. 

PALMER
Release Date: 2021
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 111 mins 
An American drama directed by Fisher Stevens, written by Cheryl Guerriero and released on Apple TV+ streaming services, Palmer delivers a simple story that offers just enough heart and honesty to not feel forced or cheesy. At it's centre, Palmer is all about people being given permission to just be themselves and it is delivered in the most touching way. 
Eddie Palmer returns to his home town after a 12 year stint in jail. Staying with his grandmother and desperate to find a job and improve his station, Palmer attempts to walk a straight line. However, in a small town, people don't forget easily and he soon finds himself involved in the problems of others, especially his problematic neighbour and her flamboyant son Sam. 
Touching is an understatement, this film is deeply moving and heartfelt. And although it isn't necessarily delivering anything new or original, what is lacks in artfulness and mastery it makes up for with good intentions and likeable characters.
Justin Timberlake proves that he can do a lot more than sing and dance by shining in his lead role as Eddie Palmer, and he is well supported by Juno Temple, June Squibb and Ryder Allen as the delightfully colourful character, Sam. 
Make sure you have a tissue at the ready, this film will get to you.
FINAL SAY: I know you're mad at me. It's okay. I'd be mad at me too. 
3 Chilli Peppers ​

Everyone in our home has now popped out the other side of our gross Covid-19 experience and we are making solid attempts to resume some normality and get back into the groove of daily life again. A little easier said than done though, because the post-Covid drag is real and you do tend to wear out easily and feel like you want to lie down a lot more than you normally would. This tendency to want to get horizontal a lot more than you typically would is, as you would imagine, really inconvenient and not very conducive to getting shit done. This has proven to be really annoying for me because I generally like to burn the candle at both ends and get a lot of bang for my buck when it comes to my everyday routine. 
​Unfortunately, my post-covid body doesn't really seem to like 5.30am yoga and it certainly doesn't seem to like much of anything after 9.30pm in the evenings except sleeping.  It also seems highly reluctant about doing 10,000 steps a day and it isn't nearly as invested in meal preparation as it was pre-covid, which has made dinner, lunch and breakfast periods feel like their own form of fresh hell three times a day as I try to navigate even the simplest of tasks in the kitchen with a heady mixture of disinterest and exhaustion.
As a consequence, our meals have been basic at best, my fitness has dropped off and I am not beating the alarm with anything except my fist in the mornings at the moment. And it's fine, I know that this level of reduced energy is to be expected and is completely normal but I am quite impatient and I have found the frailties, fragilities and failings of my body genuinely frustrating. 
According to Tania Mucci-Elliot, a doctor and expert on infectious diseases, the reason that we feel so fatigued during and after Covid-19 is because our immune system goes into overdrive, releasing chemicals called cytokines that trigger inflammation, fever and tissue death. Covid-19 is a systemic illness and affects many parts of the body, such as the respiratory mucosa, the kidneys, the fat cells and even parts of the brain. After this type of stress response, your body needs to go into rest-and-recovery mode, which causes the severe post-covid fatigue that people complain about.
Basically it's like your body has just run a marathon and it needs to reset. Signs of fatigue and tiredness is the way that your body prompts you to rest and take a break and you need to respond by putting up your feet. So doctors are recommending lots of rest, lots of water to flush your system out and being super vigilant about leaving things that aren't a priority for the first few weeks after infection and just getting the important stuff done. 
Easier said then done for someone like me who usually likes to race about like a rocket, but I really don't have a lot of choice, my body isn't wiling to allow me to go much faster than a snail at the moment anyway, so feet up and chilling out as much as I can is what the doctor is ordering and who am I am to argue with the experts? 

ROCKETMAN 
Release Date: 2019
Rating: MA 15+ 
Running Time: 121 mins 
A musical biography film directed by Dexter Fletcher and written by Lee Hall and based on the life of singer/ songwriter Elton John. Rocketman received huge critical acclaim and a number of awards largely due to Taron Egerton's incredible portrayal of John, but also for the unique and creative use of music, costume design and engaging choreography. 
At an addiction rehabilitation session, Elton John recounts the events of his life from childhood to present day. Through a series of musical numbers Elton recalls his troubling childhood, his rise to fame, his struggles with addiction, his relationship to best friend Bernie Taupin and his often traumatic love life. 
​Taron Egerton is dynamite as Elton John, delivering a powerhouse and mesmerising performance. The entire film feels fresh and original in structure and delivery, which is why I felt like it was more art house than drama, but to be clear there is plenty of drama going on here. The music is hypnotically good and it was almost impossible to not sing along with some of the numbers as I watched.
Like all good musical tributes you're left with a sense of just how much great music Elton John has delivered to the world. However I also found this film quite sad because it so clearly highlights how no amount of fame or money can ever fill some very deep holes that some performers seem to harbour inside of themselves, and Elton John's story certain demonstrates that. 
​FINAL SAY: You've got to kill the person you were born to be in order to become the person you want to be. 
​3.5 Chilli Peppers ​

On 28th January 2020 the first case of the Covid-19 pandemic arrived in Australia. And for over two years I have been blogging on and off about it. I've written about lockdowns, vaccinations, self care and mental wellness around the pandemic and although it had touched many around me, I had been fortunate enough to avoid contracting it myself. 
Well, on March 9th 2022 that all ended when that crusty bastard known as the Omicron variant finally made it's way all the way out to bum fuck nowhere (aka Enfield) to track me down, slap me down and steal my lunch money.
Poor Seth was the first to succumb to it, then I contracted it four days later and then just when Craig thought he was going to have a little freedom from his close contact isolation, he got it on day seven of exposure. Yep, we all got a go around, aren't we lucky? Thank goodness that we have all had three vaccination boosters, which meant that our symptoms were mostly moderate and thankfully also short lived. The middle two days were definitely the hardest, which for me coincided with my birthday which made it all the more painful to be honest. I mean no-one wants Covid-19, but they especially do not want it on their birthday; talk about a Debbie downer event. 
I became a proper Moaning Myrtle for a few days there. I felt tired, achy, melancholy and when I wasn't burning up, I was shaking with the chills. It was the pits! Seth was still in recovery himself, Craig was working from home so he was busy which meant that I was pretty much left to my own whiny devises for a few days, getting sadder and sicker by the hour. It was so gross and yuck! Worst still was my complete inability to move around a lot because it hurt to do that and my complete brain fog that prohibited me from being able to focus on any one thing for more than 5 minutes at a time. 
I couldn't go for a walk, or do yoga, or watch a movie, or read, or draw, or hold a conversation and I certainly could not complete even the most basic of tasks like cooking or cleaning (even myself - what a pong dog!). It was hard, and so many people were calling me for my birthday and making a genuine effort to be delightful for me and I was just like...what?...huh?...I can't focus right now....I need to lie down. And of course all of the cool plans that I had to go out for dinner on my birthday and the trip to Melbourne to see Moulin Rogue that I had planned were all kaput! Everything gone up in a big puff of covid-fuck-you -smoke! So, yep, I got low for a couple of days. I got run over by a bus, rag dolled down the side of a mountain and lay there at the bottom having a big fricken sook for a couple days and feeling desperately sorry for myself. 
Not my best days, I am willing to acknowledge that. And then on day four I thought, yeah fuck this shit, I am not doing this shit anymore. And I got up, got showered and pulled my shit together because I haven't come this far to only come this far. I haven't worked my ass off on myself, on my wellbeing and my zen to let some pandemic come and take me down. So I said no to all of my whiny first world bullshit problems and did a big turn around, I looked for the positives:
1. I am not going to die (big fricken plus right there)
2. I have people here to keep an eye on me
3. I have loads of people offering me support and love  
4. I am isolating in lovely Enfield where the birds are singing and the green is on fleek
5. I have more than a week off work mid-term 
6. I can watch crappy reality TV because I have good streaming services
7. I have plenty of food, toilet paper, clean water and cosy/comfortable places to rest 
8. I am over the worst of it and I am doing fine
9. Nothing is lost, it's just on pause 
10. There will be other birthdays...lots more of them. 
And then boom, a shift in my mindset occurred and I dusted myself off and realised that although painful, sometimes 'going wrong' can actually be a deeply cathartic experience. There's nothing like a little comedown to make you appreciate your usual health, vitality and capabilities so much more. As I said in my last post, I had been living my best life this year, going out every weekend and having a lot of wonderful and fulfilling experiences, and every intelligent person knows that if you eat high on the hog every damn day then eventually you'll get sick. It was just our turn, it happens to us all, it was a setback and nothing more than that. The fact that I can even have Covid19 and still find a silver lining makes me a pretty lucky person in my eyes, I got this. 

RON'S GONE WRONG
Release Date: 2021
Rating: PG -13
Running Time: 107 mins 
A computer animated, science fiction/ comedy film directed by Sarah Smith and Jean- Phillipe Vine. This is the first animation feature film from Locksmith Animation and TSG Entertainment; and a mighty fine effort in my opinion. 
A tech giant known as 'Bubble' has created the B-Bot. A robot companion that is designed to help children to make friends. Pretty soon everyone has one, except for Barney, a struggling social outcast who is desperate to fit in.  Barney believes that everything is finally going to change for him when he gets a B-Bot for his 12th birthday. However,  unbeknownst to him, his B-bot called Ron has been damaged, making it unlike any of the other bots on the market. 
This is some seriously funny material, I was laughing out loud a lot of the time. The voice actors, who delivered their material remotely due to the Covid-19 pandemic are all genuinely terrific, especially Zac Galifianakis who brilliantly voices Ron and pretty much steals the entire show. However strong performances must also be acknowledged from Jack Dylan Grazer, Ed Helms and Olivia Colman. 
​Aside from all of the humour, there is also a super strong message here about friendship, acceptance, understanding and the gross misuse of social media platforms by young people today that I think that many children would benefit from hearing. 
Overall, Ron's Gone Wrong is a  hidden gem that you may have overlook amidst the giants of 2021, but it is definitely worthy of your time. 
FINAL SAY: A bird has commented on your face. 
3.5 Chilli Peppers ​

So, I have happily been living my best life. Doing lots of things, getting out amongst the people and having a bloody lovely time. Dinner with friends, a big live music event, an athletics event, a day at the spa and woohoo, with my birthday coming up I was getting pumped for a few nights out, a long weekend (which always occurs around my birthday) and a visit to Melbourne to see Moulin Rogue. 
And then on Saturday poor Seth tested positive to covid-19 and everything had to come to a grinding halt and we were all thrown into seven days of isolation. Oh well, no point crying over spilt milk as they say. Such is life - c'est la vie! Things happen and I have clearly had a very good run over the last couple of months so I have nothing to complain about, and besides as yet (fingers crossed it stays this way) Craig and I have both been testing negative so far; so as long as I don't contract the virus myself over the next four days, I could still make it to Moulin Rogue and all will not be lost. 
​This is the first time that Craig has had to work from home and it's a whole new world for him. Finally, he is getting to see that not being on site is far from ideal and that things are actually ten times harder and twice as annoying to co-ordinate from a distance. Also, I am not sure how I am going to put up with his crazy antics for the next week because, although he is amusing himself around here being loud and a boisterous, he is actually annoying the shit out of Seth and I  who just want to chill out, rest and watch movies.
I don't have to work from home this week, because I really can't, so I have taken the week as sick leave. So I just want to enjoy the down time to be honest. However, it's a bit hard to do that when you've got a bear sized man meandering about the house shouting out random things, talking to himself about work and just generally poking everyone in the ribs because he can't manage being locked up at home and it's only Monday for fuck sake! 
God only knows what state we all be in by Friday if he doesn't manage to calm his farm a bit. Because although a week of no work and relaxation sounds like heaven, it is anything but when you have to be locked in with someone who is not coping well with the situation and cannot read the room and gauge their actions based on the people around them. 
This could actually be a very long week....

BO BURNHAM: INSIDE 
Release Date: 2021
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 87 mins 
Written, directed, filmed, edited and performed by comedian Bo Burnham during the Covid-19 pandemic lockdown of 2020, this unique film is a collection of Burnham's songs and skits in response to his deteriorating mental health and the world's obsession with social media during isolation and enforced lockdowns. 
This entire film feels deeply personal, and that's because it is. We literally get an intimate glimpse inside the head of Bo Burnham, delivered through original music, stand up comedy and meta-commentary. What Burnham manages to do in 87 minutes is take his audience on a ride, delivering something that feels so fresh and genuine that you can't look away.
It's a little bit theatrical, quite heavy on the sarcasm, with a smattering of dark humour and some beautifully bleak and honest storytelling about the social and emotional effects of isolation, in a word it's riveting!
Critics lauded the special's presentation of the Covid-19 pandemic, which he never actually mentions by name at any stage during the film, and he became the first person to win three Emmy's individually in a single year after he took the directing, writing and music direction awards in 2021. 
Bo Burnham: Inside was definitely my favourite comedy of 2021 and it shouldn't be missed.
FINAL SAY: White woman's Instagram!
​4 Chilli Peppers ​

Sadly, because the Hollywood Foreign Press Association was mired in racial controversy, The Golden Globes annual event was completely devoid of all stars and all cameras this year. Which also meant that it couldn't be televised - I mean, not a lot of point televising an awards ceremony if the stars aren't even going to be there right? So, for the first time in years, I didn't get to enjoy the glitz and glamour of it all from the comfort of my couch with a champers in my hand, I just had to wait to hear the results like everyone else did - via the media. 
It’s was a unfortunate downgrade of what used to be one of the glitziest awards shows in Hollywood. But after investigations by The Los Angeles Times and New York Times revealed a series of ethical lapses within the H.F.P.A. and a membership devoid of Black voters, Hollywood’s major publicity firms cut off the show’s access to stars. How on earth this has happened in this day and age seriously perplexes me, but at least the scandal has been brought out into the light for rectification. 
Naturally, the H.F.P.A. has since announced its new rules and has now admitted 21 new members, including journalists of colour; which is better late than never I suppose, but its pretty damn hard to make amends now.
And it still remains to be seen if Hollywood will even acknowledge Sunday’s awards ceremony, which is a genuine shame for the recipients, because in my opinion they were all most deserving of their wins. 
Below is the complete list of winners. 
Best Motion Picture, Drama
“The Power of the Dog”
Best Motion Picture, Musical or Comedy
“West Side Story”
Best Director, Motion Picture
Jane Campion, “The Power of the Dog”
Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture, Drama
Nicole Kidman, “Being the Ricardos”
Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture, Musical or Comedy
Rachel Zegler, “West Side Story”
Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in Any Motion Picture
Ariana DeBose, “West Side Story”
Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture, Drama
Will Smith, “King Richard”
Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture, Musical or Comedy
Andrew Garfield, “Tick, Tick … Boom!”
Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in any Motion Picture
Kodi Smit-McPhee, “The Power of the Dog”
Best Screenplay, Motion Picture
Kenneth Branagh, “Belfast”
Best Original Score, Motion Picture
Hans Zimmer, “Dune”
Best Original Song, Motion Picture
Billie Eilish, “No Time to Die”
Best Motion Picture, Animated
“Encanto”
Best Motion Picture, Non-English Language
“Drive My Car”
Best Television Series, Drama
“Succession”
Best Television Series, Musical or Comedy
“Hacks”
Best Limited Series, Anthology Series or a Motion Picture Made for Television
“The Underground Railroad”
Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series, Drama
Michaela Jaé Rodriguez, “Pose”
Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series, Drama
Jeremy Strong, “Succession”
Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series, Musical or Comedy
Jean Smart, “Hacks”
Best Performance by an Actress in a Limited Series, Anthology Series or a Motion Picture Made for Television
Kate Winslet, “Mare of Easttown”
Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Supporting Role
Sarah Snook, “Succession”
Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series, Musical or Comedy
Jason Sudeikis, “Ted Lasso”
Best Performance by an Actor in a Limited Series or a Motion Picture Made for Television
Michael Keaton, “Dopesick”
Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Supporting Role
O Yeong-su, “Squid Game”

THE POWER OF THE DOG
Release Date: 2021
Rating: M
Running Time: 126 mins 
An intelligent and genuinely intriguing film; written, produced and directed by Jane Campion, The Power of the Dog is mesmerising and disturbing in equal measures. With marvellous sweeping landscapes and enough sideways glances to make anyone uncomfortable, its hard to look away from the screen whilst you are watching this. After winning the Best Motion Picture - Drama at the 79th Golden Globe Awards, The Power of Dog swiftly gained attention and became the buzz film of early 2022.
The Burbank brothers are wealthy ranchers from Montana. One is a mild mannered gentleman named George and the other is a severe and intimidating cowboy named Phil. When George falls for a widow named Rose and brings her and her impressionable son Peter to their ranch to live, tensions rise as Phil attempts to assert himself over the newcomers. 
This is a slow burning western drama, so it isn't going to appeal to everyone, but it certainly appealed to me.  The cast is unbelievably good here, with Benedict Cumberbatch, Kirsten Dunst and Jesse Plemons delivering their finest, but it was young Kodi Smit-McPhee that stole the show here with his  unassuming observations and contemplative behaviours as Rose's son Peter that really engrossed me. 
I loved this film from start to end, it explores the hardest of the hard and also the tenderest of souls, which is a contrast that I am always drawn to, and just like all of Jane Campion's efforts, this was a total winner for me.  
FINAL SAY: Deliver my soul from the sword. My darling from the power of the dog. 
5 Chilli Peppers ​

I'm not sure what the hell is going on with me at the moment. It could be a side effect of lockdown, it could be that I am tired of feeling like an irrelevant shit kicker and it might be none of those things at all. Maybe it is just the season of the witch - who knows really? Whatever is going on, I have become absolutely incapable of putting up with being treated disrespectfully.  
Maybe when you get to my age you start to think that it is high time to throw caution to the wind and be honest about how you feel. Now I do realise that in becoming especially vocal about your needs and wants (particularly when you are a female of a certain of age) that you can present yourself as a menopausal, troublesome, problematic bitch. And to be honest I am also okay with that as well because how other people choose to perceive me is actually way more about them than it is about me anyway, and I can honestly say that I am not calling anyone out on anything that I wouldn't be comfortable to be called out on myself. 
What I have been doing is setting some pretty clear boundaries around what I am comfortable with, what I will not tolerate and how would prefer to be spoken to. I do this without any malice or entitlement or intent to harm others. I do this because it is something that I believe that everyone should be doing and it is something that I need to do for myself in order to feel self empowered and clearly interpreted.  If anyone should take this as me being a tenacious bitch to them, well that is unfortunate for them.
You see what I have learned from all the lockdowns and the general 'pandemic-stricken' state of the world is that people are really not very concerned with anyone else's lot in life, not genuinely anyway. They will say that they are and they will ask all the right questions but when push comes to shove, rarely do people actually have your back or best interests at the forefront of their thinking. They are far too occupied with their own lot in life and I am totally okay with that - it's fine and reasonable and I have no ill feelings around any of that. But what it does mean is that if you aren't willing to stand up for your own welfare you will get overlooked, mistreated and disrespected. 
Now this kind of treatment is not happening because people set out to treat you like a piece of shit, it just happens because people are so busy in their own affairs that they don't realise that they are treating you like a piece of shit. I get that, I know that I have unintentionally been shitty to people myself because I have gotten pre-occupied in my own dramas and dilemmas. And hey, if a pandemic is not a good enough reason to get caught up in your own shit, then what is right? 
I understand why it happens and I get why it happens, but I also know without a shadow of doubt that if you don't stand up for yourself and put some boundaries in place around the way that people can treat you, then you will be setting yourself up for more bullshit as things progress. Please sir may I have another? No, no, no - don't mind my shattered feelings in any of this or consider my personal hardships, you just keep on wiping your dirty hands on my back as you roll on by.  I got this!
Well, sorry I don't got this! None of has got this! And I am tired of all the bullshit! I am so tired of people going off half cocked and treating people like they don't matter or aren't important. WE ARE ALL IN THIS SHITTY PANDEMIC! All of us, and we all have our own personal struggles and challenges to face being in the world right now.  If the only kindness that you can deliver right now is to yourself then do that, just don't treat everyone around you like a piece of shit in the process. 
Can't say anything nice? Then don't say anything at all! Don't like how things are going? Try telling someone who can actually do something about it instead of whinging and being sour all the time. Need some help? Fucking ask for some then! This will all go along a heck of a lot easier if people would just own their shit, set some boundaries and be a bit frickin' nicer all around. Yes, I know I am being short and blunt and yes, you can call me tenacious B if that feels right for you, but please, I implore you, try a little tenderness! Show some respect and decency to your fellow humankind.
​It's really not that difficult. 

BURNING
Release Date: 2018
Rating: MA 15+ 
Running Time: 158 mins 
A Korean psychological thriller co-written, co- produced and directed by Lee Chang-dong. Based on the short story "Barn Burning" by Haruki Murakami, this movie subtly twists and turns around itself, winding faster and faster all the way to the end of the film, delivering one of the most riveting and ambiguous narratives that I have seen in very long time. 
Jong-su falls for his childhood friend Hae-mi and the two start an intimate relationship. Hae-mi leaves for Africa and asks Jong-su to care for her mysteriously elusive cat in her absence. When Hae-mi returns she has a new man in her life, a wealthy and unusual character called Ben. 
If you are looking for some contemplation, then look no further because Burning provides ponderous interludes in bucket loads. The cast are amazing, with Ah-In Yoo and Jong-seo Jun delivering equally strong and captivating performances, however it was Steven Yeun's eerie portrayal of Ben that had me most intrigued.
You may have some unfulfilled questions when the film reaches its end, depending on how you interpret the material; or like me, you might feel like it all came together perfectly. And I think that is actually the biggest charm of this film - its just so open to interpretation. 
FINAL SAY: They are called the great hungry. 
3.5 Chilli Peppers ​

As we approach lockdown 7.0 in rural Victoria (yep we had a 6.0 lockdown that I failed to even mention on my blog because it was only for 4 days) it is time to muster up some strength and fortitude from the already dry wells of our tired and weary souls. And what I have learned about myself and others from all of these lockdowns is that we are all a lot more physically, mentally and emotionally stronger than we allow ourselves to think that we are. And when our personal wells appear to have run dry, they may not have actually run as dry as you may have first thought. 
When it comes to physical endurance and strength, no-one does it better than elite athletes. They understand that there is a very clear relationship between one's mind and one's ability to keep on going even when your body has grown extremely fatigued. A fascinating study was conducted around this by researchers at Northumbria University in England. They got a number of cyclists to pedal as fast as they could on stationary bikes for a couple of miles and encouraged them to go as hard as they could. 
They then split the group into two separate groups. Both groups were then sat in front of a computer screen on stationary bikes and were told that they would be racing against the cyclist on the screen. The first group were told that the cyclist on the screen was travelling at their previously best time but it was actually performing 2% faster than their best time. And the second group were told that the rider was 2% faster than their previous best. And guess who did better? The first group did better and matched the 2% faster rider where as the second group only matched their previously best rides and failed to keep up with the avatar because they had already perceived the bar to be too high before they started. 
So what is going on in this study? Well, while an athlete certainly does need to consider their muscles, heart and lungs when it comes to their physical endurance it would also appear that they need to consider their mind set  as well before they go into a race or competition. Mind plays a very crucial role in the way that our bodies will perform and what we allow ourselves to believe that we can endure. In short, our brain is lazy and by saying things like "I can't do this anymore" or "I'm done" or "I need to tap out" we offer ourselves an exit and sometimes our brain goes there sooner than we really need to. 
And just as our brains can tell us that we are too tuckered out to complete physical tasks, it can also do the same with mental tasks and emotional tasks, tapping us out way sooner than we need to. Our brains allow us to perceive things to be bad before they even really are, and this is often the case with repeated lockdowns.  Thoughts like 'I hated it last time' or 'this will last forever' or 'I just can't go another round' often lead us into unnecessary prediction cycles where we are catastrophising and panicking about things that may not even occur. If history has taught us anything, it's that things are transient and changeable, so assuming that it will  be the same all over again is not only unrealistic but it's also feeding our brains the wrong message. 
Now in all fairness to our brains, it is lazy and anxious for a reason, it's harking back to a basic and outdated survival program that we all have inside of us that would've kept us alive once upon a time, but those times have changed and now that mode just wears us out and makes us feel stressed out.  So you have to bypass and dig deep so that you can gain access to those well guarded reserves of strength that you have hidden within you. 
The first step in doing this is to call your brains bluff. When it starts to read out a negative script shut the thought down immediately and replace it with a positive mantra like "I am strong" or "I can do this." Studies have proven that the efficacy of motivational self talk will not only make uncomfortable or challenging tasks less difficult but it will also give you more vigour to complete them in a more efficient and accurate way.
I do understand that emotional challenges are a little more difficult to overcome and often a lot more complicated and telling yourself to buck up when you're feeling depressed isn't exactly going to make your well-spring flood over with fortitude. However, from personal experience, if you are feeling like that, the best place to start is to share your experience with someone who may have already been through something similar to you and come out the other side of it. People who have overcome their own well drying up and been able to replenish it will usually have a wealth of knowledge to share and can be a wonderful bolster during challenging times like these. So don't be afraid to share the load with others and be willing to be transparent about the way that you are feeling. 
Above all else, never forget that this too shall pass and whether you are feeling physically, mentally or emotionally drained about the prospect of yet another lockdown and you feel like you just can't go on, well don't believe that lie, tell that lie to go and fuck off! Dig deeper into your well and you'll be surprised what you may find in reserve down there. You are stronger than you think that you are! 

FORD V FERRARI
Release Date: 2019 
Rating: M 
Running Time: 152 mins 
Unlike many other American sports films, you don't actually need to be invested in the sport to get a lot out of this film. And I know this first hand because I know absolutely nothing about car racing and yet I still thoroughly enjoyed this movie because it is just as much about the dynamic personalities as it is about racing.  Directed by James Mangold and written by Jez Butterworth, Ford v Ferrari received worldwide critical acclaim and appraise and was even nominated for Best Picture at the 92nd Academy Awards. 
In 1963, Enzo Ferrari personally insults Henry Ford's heir - the owner of the Ford Motor Company. In retaliation, a furious Ford Jnr decides to create his own racing division with plans to beat Ferrari at Le Mans. In order to this, they hire former Le Mans winner Carroll Shelby to head the task, who in turn enlists Ken Miles, a hot headed Brit to assist him. 
At 2.5 hours running time you would expect that this film would get boring for anyone that isn't interested in car racing, but nothing could be further from the truth. This is a genuinely interesting real life tale that is delivered perfectly by Matt Damon who plays Shelby and Christian Bale who portrays Miles. The onscreen friendship here is delightful to watch and both actors are bringing their charisma and energy to this movie in buckets, making it a genuinely engrossing and enjoyable watch. 
FINAL SAY: You're gonna build a car to beat Ferrari with....a Ford? 
3.5 Chilli Peppers ​

Anxiety disorders are no joke, they are real and they can have some very serious medical side effects. Just as serious as heart disease or diabetes in fact and anxiety disorders are now the most common and pervasive mental disorders that we are seeing around the world. The term 'anxiety disorder' refers to specific psychiatric disorders that involve extreme fear or worry and they can range from general to moderate anxieties to serious phobias, disorders and panic attacks. 
Panic attacks occur when a person with anxiety finds it difficult to control their worry and they suffer from an intense fear or discomfort that reaches a peak within minutes. This level of anxiety affects millions of people across the globe and women are more than twice as likely to be affected. Panic attacks can build up gradually over a long period of time and then strike with great force out of the blue, which makes them even more upsetting when they do occur. 
Generally, if you are having a panic attack you will present with at least four of these symptoms at one time:

• Palpitations, pounding heart or an accelerated heart rate.
• Sweating.
• Trembling or shaking.
• Sensations of shortness of breath or smothering.
• Feeling like you are choking.
• Chest pains or discomfort. 
• Nausea or abdominal distress.
• ​Feeling dizzy, unsteady, light-headed or faint.
• Chills or heat sensations.
• Paraesthesia.
• Derealization or depersonalization. 
• Fear of losing control or going crazy.
• Fear of dying. 

Although anxiety is often accompanied by physical symptoms, such as racing heart or knots in the stomach, what differentiates a panic attack from other anxiety symptoms is the intensity and the duration of the symptoms. Panic attacks typically reach their peak level in 10 minutes or less and then begin to subside. Due to the intensity of the symptoms and their tendency to mimic those of heart disease, thyroid problems, breathing disorders and other significant illnesses, people with panic disorders often make several visits to emergency rooms or the doctors convinced that they have life threatening illnesses. 
Panic attacks are extremely unpleasant and can be frightening for sufferers. As a result, people who experience them repeatedly often become worried about having another one and this can increase anxiety even further.  But fear not because help is at hand. If you think that you may be suffering from panic attacks or any other form of anxiety that is making your life a challenge you can start by checking out this website. You will find a self test check in, some excellent self help resources and information and some links to get further support if you think that you may need it. 
We live in challenging times and anxiety is definitely on the rise. If you are concerned, then please do reach out for support, nobody should suffer from anxiety alone. 

NOBODY
Release Date: 2021 
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 92 mins 
An American action thriller directed by Ilya Naishuller and written by Derek Kolstad that delivers a short, sharp, action packed punch to the senses. It may not be breaking any new ground when it comes to storyline but it does deliver an enjoyable, violent romp that is strengthened greatly by Bob Odenkirk's fabulous delivery. 
When seemingly average family man Hutch Mansell's house is broken to by a couple of armed thugs, he is happy to let them leave peacefully to preserve the wellbeing of his family. However, what the thieves don't know, is who Hutch Mansell really is and how their actions have now ignited a violent chain of events that no-one could have predicted. 
The cast throughout is solid, with Connie Nielsen, Christopher Lloyd and Michael Ironside all delivering strong supports but this film is 100% Bob Odenkirk's and he plays Hutch Mansell with such a calm, cool disposition that he gives John Wick a run for his money. I had a lot of fun watching this, its fast and its amusing and it is just the right length for an action thriller. 
FINAL SAY: Give me the goddamn kitty cat bracelet, motherfucker!
3.5 Chilli Peppers ​

We didn't even manage to get a full week in to the new school term before old Dan Andrews slapped another round of lockdown on us poor Victorians. Lockdown 5.0 is what everyone is calling this one and with numbers escalating around the country at a rapid and scary rate, lord only know how long this one will last for?
To be honest, I am not really an anxious person and after this many lockdowns I'm kind of like, yep bring it on. Or as Vicky Pollard from Little Britain would be saying at this stage 'I'm not bothered' about it at all.  If locking down is what we need to do then let's just do it and get it done. 
This latest lockdown was the result of two furniture removal guys travelling from Sydney to South Australia and having a lovely little stop off in Victoria and smearing their COVID19 hands across the state on the way. And there was also a family who broke border restrictions and came down to us from Sydney and brought with them...yep you guessed it - COVID19, the Delta Strain. Bless their hearts right? And that's all it takes, a couple of people not complying and boom - we are back to where we started all over again.
​However, for the first time ever it's not Victoria being blamed for another outbreak, it's poor NSW who is copping it royally this time, with numbers in the hundreds every day and rising. We as Victorians know exactly how this feels and it is just awful and tremendously scary. And naming and shaming the culprits who delivered a fresh batch of hell back to our doorsteps doesn't really change the fact that COVID19 is back in our lives and lockdown again we must. 
​Last year Victoria saw 820 deaths from COVID19 and we were in lockdown for almost four months and in that time we saw over 7,000 people become infected, it was not fun and Victorians remember that horror show and are more than happy to lockdown and do whatever it takes to stop that happening again.  We are bloody lockdown experts now!
Since the first confirmed case of the virus was detected in Australia in January of 2020 we have had 31,771 cases and 914 deaths to date. Which may not seem like many when compared to other parts of world but we certainly don't want any more deaths. Across the globe there have now been 190 million cases and 4.08 million deaths with the worst effected countries being the United State, India, Brazil, Russia and France. The United States alone has had 34 million cases and 608 thousand deaths, which is just mind boggling but there is the true power of Trump leadership for you, a total shit stain on the history of America forever. That country will take generations to recover from the impact of COVID19 and his bullshit leadership.
So, when we compare ourselves to the rest of the world we aren't doing so bad but we don't want to gain credit for having less infections, we just want to look after our fellow citizens and our own wellbeing. Locking down costs money, I get it but the cost of lives is far greater than any amount of money. Every economy across the world is being hit hard by COVID19 but it is only by putting people first that we can defeat this relentless and highly adaptable virus. 
So we forge forward into the great unknown lockdown predicament of 'Lockdown 5.0', not knowing how long it will last or how far it will spread but knowing that we have nothing to fear if we just do the right thing and stay home for as long as it takes. Thank god for streaming services right now that's all I'm going to say. 

FEAR STREET TRILOGY:
Part One - 1994
Part Two - 1978
Part Three - 1666
Release Date: 2021
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 330 mins total 
Based on the Fear Street books written by R.L. Stine, this horror trilogy  directed by Leigh Janiak hits some high notes with its ode to old school horror slasher films. There are Easter eggs galore for fans of retro horror and the storyline that ties the trilogy together is pretty intriguing and generally well executed. 
Welcome to Shadyside, a town that has been plagued with a string of grisly murders for centuries. A group of teenagers accidently unearth and awaken an ancient evil, something powerful that has been buried deep but can no longer remain hidden. The teens unwittingly become involved in uncovering a truth that will change the town forever. 
Is this a perfect formula? Of course not, it's a slasher trilogy, but on that front it does deliver. With a mixture of A Nightmare on Elm Street, Friday the 13th, Halloween and The Witch all rolled into one, Fear Street brings something known but also missing from our screens since the early 90's and I had a lot of fun watching these with my teenage son.
​The cast is a likeable mix of fresh faced 'not so teenage' teens (would we expect anything else from a slasher trilogy?) and the soundtracks for all three films are honestly, completely awesome!
Released by Netflix over the course of three weeks, the Fear Street trilogy is a fun horror romp that doesn't fail to satisfy. 
FINAL SAY: Before the witch's final breath, she found a way to cheat her death. By cutting off her cursed hand, she kept her grip upon our land. 
3.5 Chilli Peppers ​

Everyone has stress in their life from time to time. Some amounts of stress can be good for us, it keeps us alert, aware and on track, but too much stress can have incredibly damaging and long lasting effects on your health and wellbeing. The severity and length that you feel stressed for will depend a lot upon your ability to recognise and acknowledge your symptoms of stress before they can become too big to manage alone. 
Stress can rear it ugly head through many different physical, mental, social or emotional avenues and it will usually begin with a trigger or incident that forces your stress response to kick in.  This is commonly known as the Alarm Reaction Stage. 
The Alarm Reaction Stage refers to the initial symptoms that your body will experience when it is under stress and what you will do on auto-pilot to combat this. You may be familiar with the 'F' responses that people generally engage during the Alarm Reaction Stage. For those of you that aren't familiar with your 'F' responses they usually fit into one of these categories:
Fight - Attacking, confronting, dominating. Being angry and irritable and using insult, blame and the mistreatment of others to deal with stress. 
Flight - Run, hide, quit. Being in denial and anxious and using evasion, sabotage and purposeful rejection to deal with your stress. 
Freeze - Comply, surrender, shutdown. Being numb or empty and using detachment, rationalizing and justification to deal with your stress. 
Face - Challenge and analyse. Being calm and grounded. Using alert, aware and decisive action to deal with your stress. 
Sometimes we may use one or more of these responses when we feel stressed and that is also completely normal. Your body does these things because it is trying to keep you safe. You feel stressed, you feel anxious and your body will kick everything up a notch to keep you out of harms way. Generally before you arrive at the Face response, you will first arrive at the Resistance Stage which comes right after the Alarm Reaction Stage. 
In the Resistance Stage, after the initial shock of a stressful event and your 'F' response, your body will begin to attempt to repair itself.  It will release a lower amount of cortisol and your heart rate and blood pressure will normalize. Although your body will be in recovery, you will still be functioning on high alert. If the stressful situation diminishes your body will continue to heal itself until you are back to normal. However, if stress continues in this phase your body will attempt to learn to live with higher levels of stress and will go through changes that you're unaware of, in attempt to cope. Your body will continue to secrete the stress hormone and your blood pressure will remain elevated. You will feel irritable, frustrated and will struggle to concentrate on things. After a while you will enter the third stage of stress response - The Exhaustion Stage. 
The Exhaustion Stage is the result of prolonged or chronic stress. You will feel drained physically, emotionally and mentally to the point where your body no longer has the strength to engage your 'F' responses. You will suffer complete hopelessness and display fatigue, burnout, depression, high anxiety and an overall decreased ability to deal with even the smallest amounts of stress. Your immune system will be weakened and you'll be more prone to illness, serious diseases and ailments. 
So.... Clearly we need to have the resources and skills to be able to engage our Face 'F' response early on when dealing with a stressful scenario in order to minimise the impact to our health and wellbeing. And although it's not possible to eliminate all stress from our lives, there are things that we can do to minimise the impact that stress can have on us. 
I believe that it's vital that everyone has a sound tool kit of ways to deal with their stress, and that is going to look a little different for everyone.  Acknowledging, recognising and regularly evaluating your stress levels is a key way to ensure that you are managing your stresses before they get too large. If you do suffer from stress indicators, then it's vital that you give yourself adequate time to repair and recover during the Resistance Stage before you enter the Exhaustion Stage. 
Look at what is causing the stress that you have in your life and evaluate your need to continue with this event or action. What can you do to change things for the better? If you find that you cannot eliminate your stress then you will need to investigate methods of stress management with a health care professional which may include exercise, medication, diet, meditation and deep breathing exercises. But, whatever you do don't give up on your attempts to improve your responses to stress and do not let stress rule your life. Remember that some stress is normal but too much is not and you don't want to be a slave to your stress responses.