Sometimes things in life are certainly not as linear or as straight forward as we would like them to be. In fact, quite often you can have two opposing thoughts, ideas or concepts running at the exact same time in your life which may seem to be  in contradiction of each other.
What do I mean by this? Well, I was reading a really interesting article by clinical psychologist Dr Heidi Green the other day about opposing energies in our lives and she had an excellent list that gave examples of how two things in our lives can be true at the same time. 
Here are some examples:

• Your parents did the best that they could, AND their choices wounded you. 
• You love someone AND you know it's not healthy to keep them in your life.
• You're terrified to take the next step AND you know it's the right thing to do. 
• You want to have a healthy relationship AND unresolved trauma is making it difficult. 
• You're afraid to fail AND you believe in yourself. 
• You really want to get fit AND you hate to exercise  (I actually just made that one up myself and yep, it's probably one of my own opposing truths)

​Food for thought right? Well it certainly was for me because I have a couple of opposing truths functioning in my life right now and having those two dialogues running at the same time can make you feel rather torn about your choices and decisions if you can't manage them well. 
So what can you do about your opposing truths? To be honest, sometimes you don't have to do anything about them but accept them to be the truth and learn to live with the fact that things aren't always tidy, easy or finished off with a neat little bow in life. Some opposing truths are just that, TRUTHS! Truths about yourself that you need to swallow, digest and accept. And as long you aren't in denial about those truths, then maybe you don't need to do anything about them. 
However, if you are allowing yourself to hang on to destructive, dangerous or potentially damaging truths about yourself then it is probably high time that you faced your opposing truths head on and started to make choices that are more inline with what you want to do, who you wish to become or how you want to be perceived. Not being willing to change things about yourself that are holding you back, perpetuating a problem or keeping you in denial is never going to be good for your overall wellbeing, so tackle any damning oppositional truths about yourself as soon as you can. 
And most importantly, at the end of the day, be gentle with yourself. Facing opposing truths about who you are isn't always easy and most of us have at least one or two of them.  Some of them will feel like bitter pills to swallow, some will feel like downright poison and burn on the way down and then some will feel like a cloud passing you by on blue sky day as you let them go and turn your attentions to more pressing matters. 
And always remember that opposing truths are both truths about you and who you are and in being so, you always have the power to squash one and bring the other one into the light at any given time, and that really is some food for thought. 

LOVE AND MONSTERS 
Release Date: 2020
Rating: PG
Running Time: 109 mins
An adventure film directed by Michael Matthews that hits some unexpectedly high notes with it's unique mix of coming of age story and monsterpocalypse action. 
After the destruction of an asteroid heading for Earth, the chemical fallout causes all of the cold blooded animals to mutate into large monsters that seem hell bent on destroying humanity. Humans are forced underground to survive and after 7 years in a bunker, Josh (the least likely hero of the story) decides to trek above ground to be reunited with his long lost teenage crush Aimee who lives in a beach colony across the state. 
There is a lot to enjoy here so don't be put off by the cheesy title. Firstly, it's fun and fast moving and the monsters and action scenes are really well orchestrated. Also the actors, especially Dylan O'Brien who plays Josh, are really likeable and the complete silliness of the whole thing makes it really fun to watch. And last but not least, it's pretty squeaky clean as far as sex, language and gore goes, which makes it very family friendly and mighty rare for a monster flick. 
FINAL SAY:  I really didn't have your typical upbringing. I mean, I did at first and then the world ended. 
3 Chilli Peppers ​

I'd love to say that the Easter bunny brought a delightful harvest of chocolates to our home, and although we were given an array of lovely nibbles, no-one really felt much like eating any of them because we had an insidious bout of gastro hit our home the week before Easter. And it wasn't just a 24 hour bug either, it was a real 'hang-er-on-er' virus that managed to linger in our home for days and days, making everyone in the house feel generally lethargic, crampy, miserable and very uninterested in food for the days leading up to Easter, during the Easter long weekend and for a few days after as well.
Hardly the nicest way to start your Easter holiday break but at least I didn't have to worry about being at work or looking even somewhat presentable because I have basically schlumped about the house like bag lady for the last couple of days in the most unkempt of states and I am now looking forward to getting out of the house and out of my own way as soon as possible. The lack of exercise and inability to drink much water (due to the fact that everything nauseates me)  has made me feel gross and as flat as a pancake, and not a delicious whipped cream, maple syrup topped kind of a pancake, more like that first test run pancake that you make to check if the pan is hot enough. You know the one I mean, it's half cooked, misshapen and usually ends up on the back lawn for the birds to reluctantly peck away at, that is the kind of flat pancake that I have felt like recently. A shithouse one!
Thankfully tomorrow I have a really good excuse to pull my shit together because I have a spa day planned with the ladies. a full on treat yourself day.  We have had this day planned since the Easter break in 2020, but due to COVID-19 were unable to make it actually come to fruition until now, so this is a long awaited and much anticipated spa day out in Daylesford. I can not wait! I am so keen for a decent massage that I am not even concerned about everyone seeing me in a swimsuit in the mineral pools and saunas, I couldn't care less.
However, I am going to need a serious de-fuzzing this evening before I even consider wearing my swimmers in a public place because I look like a yeti from the waist down. And now that I come to think of it, I don't think that my bathers have even seen the light of day since I went snorkelling in Vanuatu, which is almost 18 months ago now, so I'd better check that they are still decent enough to be worn at a public spa facility.  Saltwater can really deteriorate a swimsuit over time, imagine if I put them on the morning and my whole ass was hanging out! Hilarious for me, really not comfortable for my friends or any other poor sod who happens to be at the spa, so yeah I'd better check that out ahead of time. 
Anyway, Easter wasn't a total wash out. I did get to spend Easter Sunday with my family and although I didn't feel like feasting, I did have an excuse to slam the couch and binge watch a few TV series and films over the long weekend and I did get gifted some mighty fine and delicious treats which I know that I am going to really enjoy when I get an appetite back. At the moment I am still on a BRAT diet. The old Banana, Rice, Applesauce and Toast routine that is generally the only safe thing to eat after you've been a blast ended skrewt and had a gastric virus.  It's an old remedy, but it totally works and restores your gut back to full health pretty quickly if you can stick to it. I want to enjoy spa day tomorrow, so I have stuck to it and it's worked for me. I am feeling completely well today, so I'm sticking to the BRAT diet for one more day just to be sure. Anyway, I better go check out my swim cozy and defuzz myself because tomorrow I am going to have the best day out in the sunshine with my friends! It will be the best post- Easter gift to myself that I've ever had!

THE KING OF STATEN ISLAND 
Release Date: 2020
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 136 mins 
An American drama/ comedy directed by Judd Apatow and adapted from one of Apatow's screenplays. The King of Staten Island delivers something that is both objectionable and yet also tender and poignant. And I know that sounds strange but trust me when I say that you will feel annoyed, angry, upset, tearful and even a little sympathetic for the characters as you join them on this interesting journey that can really only be described as a belated coming of age tale.
Ever since his firefighter father died in a tragic incident when he was seven, Scott has had an overwhelming case of arrested development. As a 24 year old adult he is lazy, un-motivated, self indulgent and has a serious addiction to marijuana and not owning his own shit. When he burns all of his bridges and suddenly finds himself homeless, Scott is finally forced to re-evaluate his life choices.
The cast is tremendously good here with Pete Davidson shining as Scott Carlin, Marisa Tomei delivering as his long suffering mother Margie, Bill Burr believably filling the role of the would be step-father and Steve Buscemi showing his age in a dignified manner as Papa, the mature aged fire fighter. 
The King of Staten Island not only addresses the impact of loss and despondency but also the impact that long-term adolescence has on everyone around the perpetrator. It's a genuinely powerful tale about our modern age and a more reflective offering from Apatow than I have seen before. 
FINAL SAY: We're like the only place that New Jersey looks down on.
​3.5 Chilli Peppers ​

I try to be zen about things. Sometimes being zen means setting boundaries so that you can protect your energy. This is not a selfish thing to do, it's wise and wonderful. If you protect your energy then you will have more in the tank for the things that you find most important. You will be able to prioritize better, focus more and generally stay in the zen zone, even when things are hardly zen at all. 
The other day I forgot to meditate. Not that big of a deal, I just got super busy and forgot to sit down and turn on my timer on insight and record my meditation effort. I had a super mindful day and was actually zenning out and reflecting quite a bit throughout the day, I just didn't record it. As a consequence of not recording any actual meditation on the app that I use, I lost a 335 day meditation streak on insight timer, and I was so determined to clock 365 days of meditation in a row this year. I was so angry and disappointed with myself for forgetting to sit and turn that app on, I was a bit crushed and pretty peeved. And then I realised that I was pouring way too much energy and emphasis on maintaining my streak of consecutive days rather than the actual act of meditation.
It was almost like I was being given the ultimate test of shifting my focus from the consecutive streak day stats to the actual act of meditating and letting go. Well, I don't actually have to let go of the goal, I can still aim to reach 365 consecutive days of meditation, it's just going to take me a while longer now and hey, I've made my peace with that and it's totally okay. However, when I first realised that I had lost my streak I never for a second stopped to think about just how amazing it was to get to 335 consecutive days of meditation, I just looked at it as a personal failure.
Staying zen when things don't turn out the way that you had hoped or planned that they would is probably one of the most challenging things that any of us will ever face.  And that's why it's crucial that you protect your energy, stay focused on what really matters and shake off the setbacks and reframe them as potential areas of growth. Bashing yourself for every error and shortcoming, fighting yourself and others whenever things don't go as planned and struggling to find the big picture are all ways to really burn out your energy and waste your time. 
Other things that you can be doing on the daily to protect your energy in small but significant ways are:

• Not answering the phone when you don't want to talk.
• Replying to text messages when it suits you.
• Speaking kindly to yourself when you're dealing with uncomfortable feelings.
• Waking up earlier to ground yourself before the day gets busy.
• Letting go and not feeling like you need to fight to be right.
• Choosing your battles wisely - knowing when to hold them and when to fold them. 
• Leaving events, conversations and interactions when your energy is being drained (peacefully stepping away).
• Knowing that putting yourself first every now and then is not selfish, it's smart.
• Taking time to restore, relax and reflect every day. 

Don't allow situations, other people or setbacks dictate how your day, week, month or year are going to pan out. Protect your energy and be kind to yourself daily. Don't let the little things hijack your amygdala, you are the only one who can determine how your energy is going to be used, so take control and covet it. Don't waste it, channel your unique and beautiful energy into being a better and more balanced you.

POSSESSOR
Release Date: 2020
Rating: R 18+
Running Time: 103 mins 
A science fiction horror film written and directed by Brandon Cronenberg. Let me start by saying that this film is not an easy watch. Just like his father David Cronenberg, Brandon has his gore levels set to stun. I saw the uncut version and although this is a truly stylish and engaging sci-fi horror, it is also extremely graphic and violent so I feel compelled to offer a caution to viewers of a sensitive nature around the confronting material in this movie. 
In an alternate 2008, Tasya Vos - an assassin with the capability to control other people's bodies, undertakes another big job. However, this time when Vos enters her host's body to perform the hit, there are complications and things rapidly spiral out of control. 
The acting, storyline and effects are so mesmerising in Possessor, which makes the unrelentingly aggression and violence a little more tolerable. I really enjoyed the gripping ending and loved the overall feel of this eerie 'body snatching' movie. And maybe I'm losing my edge as I get older by saying this, but some of the intensely violent kill scenes just felt a bit unnecessary and in my opinion, could've been scaled back without sacrificing the integrity of the film in any way. But that's just me, see it and decide for yourself. 
FINAL SAY: Pull me out.
3.5 Chilli Peppers ​

The sad truth about the world is that not everyone is lovely. Not everyone is kind, generous or looking out for your best interests. The reality is that there are an unfortunate number of not very nice people in this world and we will unfortunately all experience them from time to time. However, if you can spot these shady characters early enough, you can save yourself a lot of unnecessary heartache and stress by avoiding their dramatics and not getting dragged into their very calculating and effective methods. Meeting these people is one thing but having them constantly in your life is a whole other thing, so early detection is vital when it comes to self preservation. 
Here are the top six personality types that I personally find the most toxic and hard to deal with. You are definitely going to encounter these people in your lifetime, they're going to pop up in all walks of life. And although I wouldn't encourage you to go around naming and shaming people that fall into these categories, I do believe that you should actively attempt to avoid encouraging them into your life if you wish to maintain a happy balance and rewarding healthy relationships.
Let's take a closer look at the dirty half dozen!
THE NARCISSIST:
The narcissist really only cares about themselves. They have an inflated sense of self importance and they lack empathy towards others. They yearn to be admired and therefore are unable to accept any form of criticism. They are also dreadful listeners, so they won't remember the things you tell them. Narcissists will often seek relationships with people that are co-dependant, thus allowing them to maintain power and control. People will often describe them as cocky, manipulative, selfish, patronizing and demanding. 
​THE CONTROLLER:
This person likes to be in control of everything. They are micro-managers and gas lighters who make you feel like you can't get anything right. They will struggle greatly to admit when they make a mistake or do something wrong themselves. They will force their beliefs in an almost dictator like fashion and have little tolerance for people who don't follow their standards or 'toe the line.' People will describe them as intolerant, stressful, hypocritical and hypercritical. 
THE DRAMA MAGNET:
This person is a gossip. They love to talk about other people and cannot be trusted to maintain your confidence. If they hear it, they will repeat it, even if it means sacrificing relationships. They are compulsively driven and drawn to drama everywhere that they go and trouble seems to follow them, but really they are the ones creating it. They will put you in uncomfortable positions and try to drag you into their dramas. People will describe them as hard work, overly dramatic, difficult and unreliable. 
THE ENERGY VAMPIRE:
Ever walked away from a conversation feeling completely drained? Then you have met an energy vampire. They zap your energy with their negative rants and overwhelming need to make everything about them. They almost seem to feed off negative energy and will continuously make stupid or bad choices in life so that they can constantly play the victim card. They love to criticise and can often be bullies that will attempt to coerce your feelings and emotions over to their way of thinking.  People will describe them as mean, critical, dark and unfriendly. 
THE COMPULSIVE LIAR:
Compulsive lying is sometimes called pathological lying; its a serious anxiety disorder and people with this condition will lie about matters big and small. They will fabricate lies that are both black and white and struggle to be honest with everyone around them. A compulsive liar is often covering up a deeply sensitive psyche that cannot handle rejection so they use lying as a way to manipulate and control situations to their advantage. People around them will call them inconsistent, dramatic, untrustworthy and odd. 
THE GREEN EYED MONSTER:
This person seems to be unable to be happy for others and is never excited to hear about the achievements or good fortune of others.  They love to play the victim card and will often over-ride other people's happy tales with stories of woe about themselves. It doesn't matter what is happening, the green eyed monster has done it harder, had it worse or can minimise anyone else's grief or joy so that it seems pale or insignificant in comparison to their own experiences. People will describe them as negative, closed minded, catastrophising and troublesome. 

So there you have it, the dirty half dozen. The six hardest and most manipulating characters to avoid if you want to keep misery and strife of your life, which you know we all do! 

MISERY
Release Date: 1990
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 107 mins 
A psychological thriller directed by Rob Reiner and based on the 1987 Stephen King novel of the same name. Misery was one of the first horror novels that I ever read as a teenager and I can assure you that none of the thrills or chills have been lost in this film adaption. 
Famous novelist Paul Sheldon has a car accident on a remote road during a wild blizzard and is thankfully rescued by a nurse named Annie Wilkes. Anne is extremely excited when she discovers that Paul is the writer of her favourite book series based on the adventures of a character called Misery Chastain. Annie insists on helping Paul back to health in her own home and encourages him to write his next novel whilst his injuries mend. However, Paul soon realises that Annie is not just a fan of the Misery series but rather a full blown obsessed loon who will stop at nothing to get the next instalment of her favourite book series.
Misery is greatly enhanced by the brilliant acting performances with James Caan and Kathy Bates both delivering a convincing and disturbingly nail biting, edge of your seat thriller that will have you shouting out in shock and despair. This is a top notch thriller that shouldn't be missed. 
FINAL SAY: Annie, whatever you're thinking of doing, please don't do it.
3.5 Chilli Peppers ​

Another five day lockdown has been enforced for the state of Victoria, which is now the third of its kind and the first for 2021. A very large part of me was strongly hoping and dare I say it....praying, that the days of formal lockdowns were finally behind us. With the vaccine on the way I even allowed myself to feel a bit of release from all of the COVID-19 worries and concerns, but obviously I was wrong. 
When your state Premiere calls a full lockdown that will start in less than 12 hours, you do tend to get nervous, very nervous. And it would be fair to say that some people did appear to go into instant shock, spontaneous worry and some even went right back into toilet paper hording mode as well.  And although this can only be described as inconvenient for most of us, for some us this five day lockdown is actually deeply problematic. 
If you had a wedding or funeral to attend this weekend than this recent lockdown would've been devastating. If you had tickets for an event or had a big soiree planned then this would be fricken' annoying and if you are the sort of person that plays out a million worse case scenarios when things like this occur then this would be a seriously disturbing time for you.  I am pretty certain that there have been a billion inconveniences created by yet another lockdown. 
However, let's try to flip this and find some positives. Firstly, this new, mutant, highly contagious mother load COVID strain that is currently getting around is a killer - even more then the original strain and that's the one that we are locking down for. Worth doing? Yes, it's worth doing, we all know that isolation saves lives, so we are doing our bit to take care of ourselves and others when we comply to these lockdown scenarios. I have faith that Dan Andrews and his medical advisory team wouldn't make this call unless it was imperative and in our best interests, so okay, I'm going with the flow there.
Secondly, at this stage it is only five days. Now I know that's easy to say when I'm not missing out or sacrificing anything major and I don't want to minimize anyone else's struggle, but for most of us - ITS ONLY 5 DAYS - get over it! After being in lockdown for months, this feels like a walk in the park, very manageable and totally okay for the most part. Fingers crossed that it doesn't turn out to be more than 5 days now that I've said all that, but at this moment, I'm going with what I know. 
Also, for a lot of people this latest lockdown will actually just look like a five day weekend.  Not for everyone of course and definitely not for me, but for some people this is going to be a high five moment where a little lockdown time just offers them the chance to rest, reboot and restart their engines for 2021. And to those people I say - you lucky bastards! Enjoy the time  and be gracious and respectful about the way that you have received the time because this is not a time of celebration for everyone. 
And if you still can't find a positive from any of that, then I suggest that you spend some time focusing on the things that you can control  rather than the things that you cannot. What the hell does that mean? Well, I mean rather than getting all worked up over the latest state of affairs which you have absolutely no power or control over anyway, why don't you turn your thoughts around onto yourself and consider the things that you can manage, even from a lockdown perspective.
Things like:

• How you react to people and situations
• What you eat
• How you treat yourself and your body
• Who you spend you time with
• What you put your energy into
• How clean your home is
• How you speak to yourself and others 
• How much sleep you get
• Your morning routine
• What you do in your spare time
• How much exercise you get
• Your thoughts, hopes, dreams and aspirations

These challenging times can actually be a wonderful time for some introspection and contemplation, so why not try and shift your mindset and consider seeing things from a whole new angle. 

THE DIG
Release Date: 2021 
Rating: PG
Running Time: 112 mins 
A British period drama directed by Australian film and theatre director Simon Stone and based on the 2007 novel of the same name by John Preston. The Dig, released by Netflix, delivers a delightful true story adaptation of an important archaeological dig and the events and people that surrounded the excavation. 
An historically important dig is occurring in the quiet township of Sutton Hoo, Britain in 1938; coinciding with the commencement of WW2. The lives of those involved with the excavation become swept up in the celebration, drama and trepidation of the time, whilst also dealing with their own personal struggles. 
Carey Mulligan and Ralph Fiennes give stellar portrayals of the real life stakeholders Edith Pretty and Basil Brown and the superb English countryside makes for a most beautiful backdrop. The cinematography is exceptionally good here thanks to Mike Eley's keen eye and many of the shots are so perfectly executed that it almost feels like a piece of art. 
Overall, I was pleasantly surprised by The Dig not only for it's terrific performances and visual appeal but also for its genuinely wholesome and interesting script which is a combination of story telling that I don't see as often as I would like to. 
FINAL SAY: From the first human handprint on a cave wall, we're part of something continuous. 
3.5 Chilli Peppers ​

What do you know about Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)? After recently viewing the film His House  on Netflix (a movie that is clearly focused on the topic of PTSD) I decided that I needed to delve a little deeper and really flesh out my understanding of this truly crippling mental health condition. 
By definition, PTSD arises when a person fails to recover after experiencing or witnessing a terrifying event. Clearly what people can perceive as terrifying varies greatly so triggers can vary greatly as well. And the length of time for a sufferers symptoms can vary hugely as well, with some lasting for weeks and others months or even years after an event. People diagnosed with PTSD will suffer from crippling emotional and physical reactions to memories of their trauma. These can occur in flashbacks, nightmares, avoidance of triggering situations, heightened reactivity to stimuli or external anxieties and they can occur without warning or can present in a predictive pattern. 
People that have been diagnosed can have a vast range of traumas, however most commonly PTSD is triggered by events around serious accidents, physical or sexual assault, war or torture and disasters such as bushfire or flood. And it is really important to acknowledge that witnessing these events can also trigger PTSD and many sufferers have been bystanders to the afflictions of others and had massive PTSD fallout because of that. 
Sufferers of PTSD usually experience four main types of difficulties:
Re-living the traumatic event: The person will relive or replay the event through unwanted memories or recall. They can be awake or asleep and they will experience intense and crippling emotional and physical reactions to these thoughts such as sweating, heart palpitations or panic attacks. 
Being overtly wound up: A person with PTSD will be very unsettled. They may have trouble sleeping, feel irritable and/or lack concentration. They may have eating difficulties, become easily startled and be constantly on the lookout for danger. 
Avoiding reminders of the event: A PTSD sufferer will deliberately avoid activities, places, people, thoughts or feelings associated with the event because they bring back painful memories or feelings associated with guilt and shame. 
Feeling emotionally numb: The person loses interest in day-to-day activities. They will feel cut off and detached from family and friends and will feel emotionally flat and hopeless. To others, they will appear depressed and distant.
It is actually not uncommon for people suffering from PTSD to experience other mental health problems at the same time which may have developed in direct response to their traumatic event. These additional problems most commonly are depression, anxiety and alcohol or drug abuse. 
Anyone can suffer from PTSD following a traumatic event, however people are at a greater risk if the event involved deliberate harm such as physical or sexual assault or if they have suffered repeated traumatic experiences such as childhood abuse or living in a war zone. Pretty much any ongoing trauma or stressful event can constitute an episode of PTSD especially if there was an absence of social support at the time of the event.
Current statistics estimate that in Australia we have a very high occurrence of PTSD. We are actually one of the the top 5 countries in the world for PTSD with around 12% of  the population suffering from some form of PTSD in their lifetimes, which will more than likely be linked to a serous accident. Women are also twice as likely to suffer from this disorder than men and this may be linked to the fact that women are also more likely to suffer sexual assault than men, however it is also important to recognise that PTSD symptoms do not always show up immediately after a traumatic event. Some victims have shown symptoms up to two years after a traumatic event with their symptoms only surfacing after another event triggers their stress reaction. 
It is also interesting to note that recent studies have shown that people living in first world countries are more likely to suffer from PTSD than people living in third world countries. It seems paradoxical, but it appears that PTSD is linked to something that violates your expectations. If you live in a part of the world that is basically safe and then something happens to turn those ideas around then it is harder to get over and your trauma will be deeper. 
The good new is that help is readily available to suffers of PTSD and a visit to a local GP will certainly get the ball rolling on effective treatment and support. The three main types of therapy that are used to support sufferers are:

1. Psychological treatments (talk therapy)  -  eg. trauma focused cognitive behavioural therapy, eye movement desensitisation and reprocessing. 
2. Physical treatments (medications) - eg. antidepressants such as serotonin reuptake inhibitors. 
3. Self Help therapy - eg. mindfulness, relaxation therapy and exercise.

And there is really positive evidence to support that a combination of these three therapies is very effective at managing PTSD and thousands of sufferers have been able to to claim back their lives and manage their stress disorder by employing these methods. 
If you suspect that you or anyone around you is suffering from PTSD  I recommend that you start by checking out the Phoenix Australia website. Phoenix is the centre for posttraumatic mental health in Australia and they are dedicated to reducing the levels of trauma in sufferers by building capabilities within individuals and communities to enhance understanding, prevention and recovery processes. They have put together some incredibly useful resources, online toolkits and support materials for sufferers and it is a great place to start if you are seeking more information or help around the topic of PTSD. 

HIS HOUSE 
Release Date: 2020
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 93 mins 
A psychological thriller/ horror written and directed by Remi Weekes and adapted from a story by Felicity Evans and Toby Venables. This thought provoking film was released on Netflix in October 2020 and it delivers enough creepy atmosphere and contemplation to appease any horror loving audience.
Bol and Rial are recent British refugees from South Sudan. They are placed into a run down government housing estate where they attempt to assimilate, but the trauma of their lives in South Sudan and the loss of their daughter haunts them and life becomes a constant battle. 
This film is clearly an allegory to victims of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and it is delivered in an eerie, unique and claustrophobic manner that felt reminiscent of other clever psychological thrillers like The Babadook. 
The acting here is rock solid with Wunmi Mosaku and Sope Dirisu both delivering plausible and emotional portrayals of a couple desperately trying to manage their trauma. The storyline is scary and also deeply intriguing, and by the end of it all I felt quite moved and affected; this film really does leave you thinking. 
FINAL SAY: Your ghosts follow you. They never leave.
3.5 Chilli Peppers ​

Last night, on a most auspicious blue moon, we all celebrated Halloween at Enfield. This involved much feasting on various candy, pumpkin soup, pulled pork and slaw Vietnamese rolls and cinnamon scrolls which left us all in a food coma by 11pm. And although the Trick or Treaters were thin on the ground this year due to COVID-19, we still managed to carve out four incredibly good looking jack-o-lanterns, make some candy apples and watch a decent serve of horror material. All round a pretty successful Halloween celebration in my mind. 
However, I have to say that there is nothing that I could stream on any channel that would compare to the real life horrors that I have been hearing about over the past few weeks. As I had feared, as the restrictions of COVID-19 begin to ease, more and more crazies are starting to emerge from the wood work. Women that I personally know have been stalked, harassed, followed, abused and in more than a couple of incidents cheated on by their long term partners. One woman I know even found out that her partner had been stalking another woman! What the fuck is going on here?
The consequences of this have obviously made these poor women feel extremely violated, unsafe, emotional and deeply insecure. I can't even express how genuinely horrified I am by the frequency that I am hearing these kinds of difficult and dreadful tales. I am now more than ever also seriously concerned that this type of thing is a sign that more of the same is to come.
Is it fair to pin all of this on the COVID-19 restrictions? Maybe, maybe not. Perhaps these motivations and perversions have always existed within these individuals and isolation has just amplified the strange and depraved behaviours that they were always harbouring. Either way, it's not good and it appears to be on the rise. 
​A recent statistical bulletin produced by the Australian Government  on July 2020 discusses the prevalence of domestic violence among women during the initial stages of the COVID-19 pandemic. The online survey asked 15,000 women that had previously reported abuse to complete a survey, not surprisingly less than 5% of those women took the survey. However, from that 4.6 percent it was cited that the pandemic had coincided with the onset or escalation of violence and abuse from their current or previous partners. 
Furthermore, only 3 months ago The Sydney Morning Herald published an article saying that one in ten Australian women are currently experiencing domestic violence or abuse during the coronavirus pandemic, with attacks becoming more intense and frequent according to reports. 
And Australia is not the only country to be seeing a rise in these kinds of behaviours, it's a worldwide epidemic that is fast following on the heels of COVID-19. Across the globe crisis calls coming in from women has risen by as much as 18% and the most alarming statistic of all is that around 40% of women that are abused, harassed or stalked around the world never actually report anything to the authorities, so it is impossible for anyone to really know just how bad things have gotten. 
In an attempt to aide and counsel abused families the Australian government has announced a $150 million domestic violence emergency response package to boost front line and national support services over the period of the pandemic, which is certainly a step in the right direction. But it's a Band-Aid effect that is treating the outcome of a disease but not really getting to the core of what we can do to prevent this type of thing from happening in the future. Where is the funding to rehabilitate the perpetrators? What can we actually do to stop this type of thing from occurring? This is also clearly where we need more funding and training, especially when the statistics show that 33% of women reporting abuse and harassment at the moment have never experienced it before, so it's evidently on the rise.
As I said earlier I feared that things would become even more dangerous for women because of COVID-19 and unfortunately it looks like I was right. Aside from remaining supportive and caring to friends and family around you who may already be suffering right now, it's also important to remember to be hyper vigilant, cautious and super safe yourself. And I do not say that lightly. The fallout from the coronavirus may mean that wearing face masks may not be the only new norm. Supporting women in crisis and dealing with volatile, unhinged men may also become our new norm, so I do urge you to please take care out there ladies. 

SHUTTER ISLAND 
Release Date: 2010
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 138 mins 
A neo-noir psychological thriller directed by Martin Scorsese, written by Laeta Kalogridis and based on Dennis LeHane's 2003 novel of the same name. In general people have been quite polarised with their reactions to this film and that's because this isn't an easy movie. In short, Shutter Island is a deep dive in the psyche that delivers as much intrigue as a Hitchcock classic and as much crazy as One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. 
A Deputy US Marshal and his partner have been hired to investigate a psychiatric facility for the criminally insane on Shutter Island after one of their patients goes missing. From the moment that they arrive, it appears that the facility is harbouring secrets. 
A stellar cast are all really delivering here, with memorable performances from Leonardo DiCaprio, Mark Ruffalo, Ben Kingsley and Michelle Williams. The overall atmosphere and ominous vibe of the film is undeniably palpable. Whether you love it or hate it, I guarantee that you won't forget it in a hurry.  
FINAL SAY: Which would be worse - to live as a monster? Or to die as a good man?
3.5 Chilli Peppers ​

I have found a new app that I am completely obsessed with. It's called Taste and it's all about movies and TV. This has proven to be dangerous for my health over the last two days because I am struggling to put it down. Seriously, this may be the most addictive thing that I have ever downloaded in my life and it's not a good thing. 
Taste presents you with a range of movies and/ or TV programs for you to endlessly scroll through. You rate them as you go if you have already seen them and you can add things that interest you to a folder to watch later. The more that you rate and like things, the more data that the app collects about what you like and the more movies and TV choices it spits out for you. In short, I have fallen down a rabbit hole and I have no idea when I will emerge. 
And on top of the constant scrolling, I have also been alerted to around 100 movies that I have both seen and really enjoyed but have failed to review because they are mostly old and I clearly forgot about their existence until Taste alerted me to the fact that I may wish to watch them. So this now means that on top of my new and unhealthy obsession I also have weeks and weeks of movie reviewing ahead of me to catch up on. Guess what I will be doing over the summer break? Getting my blog up to date and binge watching new material! Might be just as well that I can't go away because I have shit loads to do on Spicywatch now. 
However, as much as this has presented me with more work to do my blog, it is (as you all know) a true labour of love that I am not only keen to do but also very excited to undertake as well. I have so much new material to review and so many new things to watch again that have been specifically recommended based on my previous choices, it's pretty cool actually. 
I was just thinking the other day that my movie reviews have been rather scarce this year due the fact that movies haven't exactly been incredible this year  - thanks to COVID-19.  I have watched twice as much TV as movies this year which has drastically impacted on the growth of my Spicywatch genre lists, but this will change all of that by boosting my lists and adding a lot more quality content for my readers to check out.
Winning all around I think, if only I could put the damn Taste app down for more than 30 minutes then I am sure that I would get a lot more reviewing done! Anyway, here is one movie that Taste alerted me to that I had seen and missed reviewing because it was introduced to the world before Spicywatch was. I thought I'd start with this one because it seems to have an appropriate title given my recent movie list circumstances - bloody infinite! 

NICK AND NORAH'S INFINITE PLAYLIST
Release Date: 2008
Rating: M 
Running Time: 90 mins
A sweet coming of age romantic comedy directed by Peter Sollett, written by Lorene Scafaria and based on the novel of the same name by Rachel Cohn and David Levithan. With just the right speckling of humour and drama, this romance really hit an unexpected high note for me. 
Nick (Michael Cera) is a high school student and member of the Queercore band The Jerk Offs.  He becomes involved with college bound Norah (Kat Dennings), a friend of his own bitchy ex-girlfriend Tris when she asks him to pose as her boyfriend for a few minutes in an attempt to make her own ex-boyfriend jealous. Soon the two are bonding over playlist music and inventing new ways to avoid their troubled pasts and friends. 
Hardly a revelation in script writing or unique plot lines, however in spite of all of that there is still something genuinely sweet about this film that I really enjoyed. And besides, any movie that brings people together over a mutual love of music is always going to be a winner for me. 
FINAL SAY: If anyone is getting raped in that van, it'll be a guy. 
3 Chilli Peppers ​

As the rural Victorian children both sheepishly and excitedly returned to onsite learning this week, in my mind I was saying a little prayer in the hope that we do not go into a third round of COVID-19 lockdowns and restrictions. The prospect of another term of remote and online learning makes me feel slightly nauseous and although the teachers all did a tremendous job of making it work, we can't really kid ourselves into thinking that it was the best model for learning. Tolerable but far from ideal would be my best estimation of remote learning. 
However, in the grand scheme of things Australia is fairing pretty well, with many countries around the globe succumbing to what can only be described as catastrophic COVID-19 circumstances. Even Donald Trump, for all of his bullshit and bravado has fallen ill to the virus and will hopefully now finally admit that America has a very big COVID problem. However given the fact that has been seen unmasked, posing for photographers and out and about in public when he is still considered to be contagious, well let's just say that I am not going to hold my breath. 
And so, in this most unusual climate we begin the work of attempting to find ourselves again. We try to establish a new norm and acceptance that this is now the new norm because life is going to be different and it is going to be different for an unperceivable length of time. And even when we do fully re-emerge after a vaccine has been created, the world will never be the same again because there's no denying that we have all been changed by this pandemic. We will be excited to be experiencing real freedom again, but also filled with trepidation and worry about whether anything like this could happen to us again. 
Just like our forefathers understood the worry of war, we in 2020 understand the worry of pandemic. A faceless and indiscriminate danger that can consume much of our previously joyful and carefree thinking with fear and concern. However, just like the countless brave humans that have inhabited this planet for thousands of years before us, we cannot succumb or surrender to our worry or worst case scenario fears; we must, for want of a better way to put it, keep calm and carry on. 
Basically, no amount of worry will change what we are facing now and no sleepless nights in the future will guarantee our safety in years to come, so the only reasonable thing that we can do is stay hopeful, support each other and believe that the best days are ahead of us. COVID-19 may have made the world different, but it has also highlighted just how alike we all are and how much we all need each other.
The expressions on the faces of the children as they returned to onsite learning spoke volumes to me and what I took away from our first week back at school together was how great it was to be around a lot of young and vibrant people again and share in their experiences. It really galvanized my thoughts around how much we do have to look forward to together as we find our way out of this mess. 
So here we go again, praying that this time we have reduced the number of infections enough to enjoy some civil liberties and social experiences. Hoping that conditions improve quickly for the countries who are suffering the most and knowing without a shadow of doubt that we absolutely must count our blessings on the daily and never ever take anything for granted ever again.
With a hopeful heart I say, let's give this another shot!

THE FAREWELL
Release Date: 2019
Rating: PG
Running Time: 100 mins 
​An American- Chinese drama/comedy written and directed by Lulu Wang and partly based on her own real life experiences. The Farewell delivers a beautiful and complicated family story that really touched my heart with it's intense sense of loyalty, tradition and good intentioned ideals. 
American independent writer Billi finds herself flung back into the arms of her extended family in China when her grandmother (Nai Nai) is diagnosed with terminal lung cancer. The family try to support the dying matriarch by not telling her about her cancer and instead create a fake family wedding in order to gather everyone together for one last celebration that will also serve many as a form of farewell. 
This script is so tender and believable; it is such a delight to watch. Awkwafina is incredible as Billi and she brings lots of humour and genuine love to her relationship with her Nai Nai, who is played perfectly by  Zhao Shuzhen. The Farewell is testament to the fact that real life stories about family traditions and ideas are not only interesting but also extremely inspiring. 
FINAL SAY: Chinese people have a saying, when people get cancer they die. It's not cancer that kills them, it's the fear. 
4 Chilli Peppers ​

I know that I recently wrote a blog post all about Intuition vs Logic and I have since enjoyed some lengthy and interesting discussion with friends around that topic; and this is because there seems to be some misunderstanding around the difference between intuition and instinct, and which of those we should be listening to. In my previous post I said that you should be careful of always choosing to go with your intuition over your logic and I cited some pretty valid reasons for that, but when it comes to listening to your instincts it's a whole other ball game because overriding your instincts can be much, much harder indeed. 
Your intuition is that feeling that you get, almost like an inner voice or sixth sense that makes you think that something may feel like a good or bad opportunity. Your instinct however is not a feeling, it's an innate hardwired natural tendency to behave or react in a certain way and it's far more primordial than your intuition. Your instinct is part of your biological make up which is why it can be very difficult to override. Unlike your intuitive thoughts which are created when your brain perceives a neural pathway, your instincts are a motor response that are initiated by your whole body in response to an external stimuli. 
Our instincts are what have kept us alive as human beings for thousands of years, they are produced by a biological force that makes us react to hunger and thirst, it's what drives us to use our bowels, blink, sleep, have sex, reproduce and above all else - survive. Over time we have managed to hone our instincts so that we can manage them in more refined and appropriate ways, but all of us still have them and not all of us have evolved to a point where we can manage or control them very well.
Suppressing your most basic instincts can not only be useful but also completely necessary if you want to get along in the modern world. It would be completely inappropriate to jump every person's bones that aroused a sexual instinct within you, and although there probably was a time in history when this was a useful instinct to employ in order to sustain human kind, these days it would obviously be extremely frowned upon and you'd probably end up in jail. Also managing other social/emotional instincts like our instinct of fight or flight, which may not always be an appropriate response in every situation has been replaced with more refined methods of negotiation and modern logic now, so there is no need for anyone to run screaming out of a room when they feel affronted or afraid anymore. 
However, those fight or flight instincts can still come in mighty handy when it comes to certain survival situations and there are hundreds of human experiences that we would still be using the method with, and it would be saving our skin to do so.  In general, ignoring all of your instincts is pretty unwise because our instincts are important innate behaviours that we learned and practised for a reason - as humans we all need them, but some of our human instincts that we have developed over time are not only useless now but they could even cause the eventual the downfall of humankind if we can't fight against them.
Our strongest human instinct, the one that overrides everything is our survival instinct. Because of this super strong survival instinct that all humans have, we have also developed a few less than attractive instincts in order to keep the flock safe and humans alive. The worst of those are denial, revenge and greed. Due to the extreme scarcity of resources for early man, greed was a form of survival. Being honesty also didn't feed anyone and neither did forgiveness, so denial and revenge were ways to establish pecking order, strengthen loyalties and ensure that a tribe survived. Unfortunately, many of us are still employing these shithouse instincts into our lives today and the results have been damning to say the least. Many people are still instinctively in denial about many modern issues like food shortages, lack of clean drinking water, global warming, pollution, disease, overpopulation... the list goes on and on and the reason for this denial is often fed by greed and revenge. And even though we do not need to employ these basic instincts to protect the herd anymore, many of us still do and the results are devastating on a global scale. 
So, in short it is fair to say that we should, just like our intuition, listen to our logic and sound modern thinking before we allow ourselves to be overcome by our often outdated biological instincts. We as humans pride ourselves in being the leaders of this planet, and in doing so we have an obligation to behaviour in a more refined and dignified manner than some of our instincts would like us to because if we don't, then we are really no better than the animals that we say we are going to protect. Don't be a slave to your instincts, use them when you need to but be aware that some of them are totally archaic knee jerk reactions that you can learn to control and replace with more evolved and humanitarian choices. 

2020 - what a year! Who could've seen that one coming? Unlike an active volcano, inclement weather or global warming, 2020 completely burst onto the scene with great force and unprecedented change on levels that no-one (not even Nostradamus) could have accurately foreseen or predicted.  And as much as we have all now learned to expect the unexpected, it can still be hard to find the highlights and stay in touch with the joys of life when you feel like you are constantly be blindsided with change  and overwhelmed by uncertainty. 
So let's take a look at what has happened in 2020 so far that has actually been worthy of celebrating, and before you shout out nothing at all, think again, you may have missed some of the good stuff because the bad has taken up all of your attention and space. Turns out that in spite of impeachments, wildfire and COVID-19 there have actually been some good times for us to reflect upon. 

1. Despite January's wildfires burning 18 million acres of Australian bushlands, the devastating bushfires proved that the world could come together and support each other in huge and generous ways. Over $140 million dollars was raised and donated for the victims of the January fires and comedian Celeste Barber broke the Facebook's fundraising platform records by raising $32 million to support firefighters.  
2. The second person in the world was cured of HIV thanks to stem cell treatments. And although the treatment is high-risk and therefore not available to the wider public just yet, it is a massive breakthrough and a genuine sign of greater things to come for the HIV infected population. 
3. COVID-19 might have stopped the world in its tracks, but it certainly didn't slow the heroic efforts of front line healthcare and medical workers who bravely answered the call to care for the sick and dying. Working gruelling hours under extreme and often deeply emotional circumstances, these everyday heroes have saved thousands of lives, tested billions of the world's population and persisted for the sake of humankind. 
4. The oldest fossil of the modern bird to date was discovered this year and it dates back 66 million years - before the age of dinosaurs! The creature, which scientists have named Wonder Chicken looks like a chicken from the front and a duck from the back and tells us a lot about early evolution and has sparked much debate around the origins of the bird species and life form evolution in general. 
5. The world got far more tech savvy and inclusive as people got more inventive and creative with their online usage. Teachers everywhere learned to deliver remote learning programs to their students, famous chefs around the globe uploaded free online cooking lessons, Spotify introduced 'Daily Wellness' playlists, performers, celebrities  and musicians gave us free online concerts and across the globe everyone worked out how to use Zoom and Google Meets. 
6. The first in-vitro fertilized cheetah cubs were born in Columbus Zoo in February, which was a feat for both biology and zoology. The twin cubs bring with them a very hopeful and promising sign that humans may be able to save the globe's endangered species after all. 
7. And last, but not least, the world pollution levels have dropped significantly due to the COVID-19 pandemic. The planet has received a much needed breath of fresh air since so many businesses and transportation systems have reduced or stopped altogether across the globe. In areas like New Delhi, the pollution was recorded to have dropped as much as 60% in just one week of lockdown, and this trend was seen across the world over the last three months. 

So there you go, it's not all doom and gloom after all, and although we didn't see any of the bad things coming, we also missed a lot of the really good stuff as a consequence. So I suppose what I am trying to say is to remember to keep your eye out for the good things and to worry a lot less about the unexpected and unfortunate. 

When you're regularly asked to social distance, stay at home and keep away from crowds of people it can become pretty easy to feel completely disconnected from the rest of the world. All of your travel plans have been cancelled, concerts and live performances aren't even an option and all of your best laid plans for the last three months have come to a grinding halt, and let's be honest about it, it doesn't really feel that great does it? Some days it can be really hard to find the joy when you're just doing the same monotonous things, feeling cut off from everyone and craving more physical contact.  
When these kinds of feelings last for long periods of time, people can start to feel downright depressed, which is the last thing that anyone needs to be feeling when we are already in the midst of a pandemic. It's all stressful, worrying and uncomfortable enough thanks, no one needs to be feeling depressed on top of it all and that's why maintaining human connection is more important than ever as we navigate these difficult times. 
Here are some sure fire ways to make sure that you are staying connected with the world whilst also maintaining a sense of inner peace of harmony. 
Adapt: Try to keep doing as many of the things that you were doing before COVID-19 hit, just adapt them. Workout online instead of at the gym, go for long walks or ride your bike in nature as a form of exercise, schedule your eating times to happen at the same time as a friend so that you're still socialising, have movie nights with small groups in your home instead of going to the cinema. Get creative with how you can socialise in small groups in your own home eg. have themed dinner party nights, trivia nights, movie nights, cooking classes, game nights or home spa treatments. These will give you something to look forward to and keep you socialising in small groups in safe spaces. 
Touch: Touch is such a rich source of affirmation, security and safety and many of us not only crave it but actually need it. This is probably one of the toughest things for single people to combat during a pandemic, because you just can't go around hugging everyone when you run the possibility of either contracting or passing along a deadly virus, not to mention it's really just generally not okay. In order to counterbalance the loss of the comfort that comes from hugs and physical closeness psychologists recommend a daily call to someone in the form of a Skype, Zoom, Facetime or Meets app situation. Something face to face and regular will help to alleviate the loneliness and feelings of isolation for people that are alone, and for everyone else - well take some comfort in the fabulousness of your relationships and hug the people in your home for longer, kiss your partner more often and just fully enjoy being close to people when you can be safely. 
Self talk: Focus your energies and your internal dialogue around what you can control and not on what you can't. Instead of saying to yourself 'how long will this all last for?' learn to ask yourself this important question every day:
What do I need today in order to feel satisfied, safe and connected? 
Spend more time exploring your own wants, needs and requirements and less time on the 'what if's' around this whole pandemic experience. By learning to attend to your own needs, you will find more joy, a sense of inner peace and maybe even spark some interest in a new activity or hobby to fill in your free time in satisfying and self-connecting ways. 
Talk It Out: If you are feeling anxious, worried or fearful, that's okay - you're not alone! You are allowed to feel those things and you should share those thoughts with others. By talking out your concerns with friends or family, whether it's face to face or over the phone you will reduce your stress levels and give people an awareness about what is going on for you. A reduction in socialisation and connection is genuinely difficult for many people and being honest about your emotions and reaching out to others will definitely build stronger connections and help to alleviate anxiety. 
Get Moving: Whether you like to exercise or not is not really relevant because the science is in! And the fact of the matter is that exercising releases heaps of feel good chemicals like dopamine, endorphins and serotonin, and they lift your mood, reduce your stress and they're completely free as well. You can't argue with that now can you? Exercise is a great way to meet up with friends, get some fresh air  and sunshine into your system and kick off those feel good chemicals, so try to incorporate at least 30 minutes of exercise into your routine a day. It may not always connect you with others, but you will definitely feel better for doing it. 
Be Zen: You know that I love a good meditation, I can't even go a day without it anymore. And there are some kick arse meditation apps out there that are not only great for triggering mindfulness and calm, but are also social and free as well. Check out Insight Timer or Smiling Mind for some inner connection zen time, you won't regret it. 

Amidst the confusion and calamity of COVID-19, America manages to throw itself even further into turmoil with thousands of people taking to the streets in protest of the brutal murder of George Floyd, a 46 year old black man who died in police custody in May. Poor Floyd can clearly be seen in a viral Youtube video being suffocated to death by a police officer who has his knee forced into Floyd's throat as he gasps and pleads 'I can't breathe' - but they do not show any mercy, and he dies because of a cruel and corrupt American authority system that feels entitled to use inhumane force and reckless violence against its citizens. 
As the world watched in horror, the American public completely broke over this latest demonstration of societal inequality and they rose up in anger. Some chose to peacefully demonstrate, others used more force and in some cases stores were looted and protesters were brutally attacked in scenes that felt more like they belonged in a post-apocalyptic movie rather than on the streets of a first world country. 
And although it would appear that this is all due to George Floyd death, in reality although clearly awful, Floyd's death was merely the straw the broke the very overburdened backs of the American people. George Floyd was a spark in a powder keg of disgruntled, beaten down and fed up citizens that had finally had enough of the oppression and sheer disregard of their welfare by the leaders and law enforcement of their country, the very people who are supposed to be serving and protecting them. Between the coronavirus, the record levels of unemployment and the years and years of African American deaths and criminal frame ups from the police, this mass protest was well overdue. 
So Trump has truly made his bed, his very ugly bed and now he must lie down in it. Do I feel sorry for him? Of course I don't, and even though I would never advocate anarchy in the streets I cannot help but feel like this latest outpouring of anger and demonstration from the people of America is more than warranted and seriously overdue. The dragging down, the corruption and the maldistribution of support and care in that country simply has to stop, and if that means taking it to the streets and getting loud about it, well so be it I say.
I just hope that they will take this fervent energy with them to the polling booths at the next election and start to show more care for who they elect to speak for them in the future because there is only way that any of this is going to change and that's by cutting the head off the beast itself. Donald Trump has proven himself to be nothing short of psychopathic since the whole COVID-19 pandemic began, and when he isn't advising his people to go out and drink bleach as a Coronavirus preventative, he is generally otherwise busy inciting fear, promoting corruption and generally acting like a bible swinging lunatic. If this doesn't get the Americans rallied together to vote him out, then nothing will now. 
This latest uprising around George Floyd, I believe is just the beginning. In 1967 Dr Martin Luther King, Jr. called for a 'revolution of values' because of the continuous cycle of social inequity and police brutality that the African Americans were enduring, and this form of civil rights movement is beginning to come into play again today. Fairness and justice are worth fighting for and now that the American people have gained some momentum and worldwide attention and support they will not be going quietly into the night with this, they are going to keep this momentum going and they are going to make changes.
A time of revolution is most definitely upon us, not just upon the Americans, but upon us all. What we are all witnessing right now is an extremely significant and important time in history, a time that you will talk about with your families for years to come, a time when all of the oppressors will be held accountable for their choices and democracy shall prevail. It's the start of something big and extremely overdue, so bring on the revolution I say, you have my full support. No-one in this world should have to fight for equitable treatment, it should just occur and I look forward to the abolition of all of these barbaric, archaic and unwanted behaviours, let's make the assholes accountable! Viva La Revolution! Power to the People! But most of all, watch this space because things are going to change and it will be wonderful to see the people win and the bad guys all finally get their comeuppances. 

It has almost been ten days since my operation and I am just beginning to resurface from the anesthetic, drug and pain induced coma that I have been existing in ever since the doctor removed my uterus. And wow, I really have to say that having a hysterectomy has completely topped the charts on my 'shittiest life experiences yet' list. There is nothing more sobering, more painful or more difficult to adjust to than having one of your major organs removed from your body, and this entire experience has made me realise just how truly unwell I was for quite some time because the state of that revolting uterus was anything but healthy. 
​I have to be honest, the only other time that I have ever had to go to hospital for a major or life changing procedure was to deliver my children so it would be fair to say that I am certainly no veteran of the knife or the ways of the surgeon. And hopefully, this will be the last experience that I am going to need for a very long time (praying forever) because I really did not enjoy having the hysterectomy, waking up just after having the hysterectomy or the first ten days of weird crap that has followed the hysterectomy.
What actually happens to the space that is left behind after you have had an organ removed from your body? Well, I can tell you that it rapidly gets filled up by all of your other oozing organs that are just happy to have some breathing room back again and what that means is intense weirdness; crazy intense weirdness as your body tries to adjust to what is now that the new norm. And I know that my other organs would undoubtedly be celebrating the exit of my hideously enlarged uterus and its various attached components because the darn thing had gotten so large that it had literally fused itself onto my bladder, spreading out like a disgusting blob and taking over every crevice of my abdomen that it could seep into. It seriously reminded me of the movie The Blob when I heard about my uterus' unquenching penchant for bogarting my entire pelvic region. A gross gelatinous abnormality, living right there inside of me! How fucking disgusting is that? 
Anyway, that bitch is gone for good now and has taken with it every period that I was ever destined to have. Can I get an Amen? What I now have left behind are two ovaries, which may well be floating about in the space inside of me anywhere for all that I know about what actually happened to me, but the doctor assured me that they were healthy and that if I kept them I would have a healthier and more natural menopause. And apparently preserving my ovaries will also ensure that I still continue to produce estrogen, thus saving me from facial hair, a deeper voice and the possibility of ever growing a penis - just kidding I don't actually think that last one can actually happen, but who wants to take any chances at this stage right? I just got rid of my bloody uterus the last thing I want right now is a dick and balls! 
So yeah, all aboard the female hell express, next stop menopause! I mean come on, really? It just never actually ever stops for women does it? First the periods, then the childbearing, then the hysterectomy and now the menopause, and I'm not even 50 yet so this all feels rather premature to me. However, I must admit that for all of my hating on the actual procedure of the hysterectomy, I think that once my body stops being weird ass central that I will actually be glad that I have had it done. Not only did I get rid of The Blob, but I may even be able to have an abdomen that doesn't look like a swallowed a beach ball one day. That day is certainly not today though, because my post-op belly looks so disgusting that I can't even deal with the sight of it at the moment. It's black and blue and that gross yellow/ green that bruises develop as they heal and don't ask me how this is possible, but my abdomen also genuinely seems bloated, tight and yet also flabby at the same time - how is that even possible? Another hysterectomy mystery I suppose!
You know, I stupidly thought that nothing would ever feel as unsettlingly abnormal in my body as the feeling of being pregnant (which literally felt like I was incubating an face hugging Alien embryo inside of me) but pregnancy has nothing on the continuous shifting, lilting, reconfiguration and strange involuntary realignment of my innards right now. I'm actually half expecting to wake up with an ovary sticking out my cheek one morning. I can feel my insides moving about and jostling for rank in there and quite frankly it's straight up horrible. Sort of a mixture of nausea, gas, cramps, aches and a lot of asking myself 'what the hell was that?' and 'that's normal right?'
However, in true Spicywatch fashion, I have resigned myself to the fact that this too shall pass and that one day over the next few weeks I will eventually wake up and not feel like a very freaky laboratory experiment anymore, but more like myself again.
​These are my current meditation mantras, and call me crazy, they do seem to be helping me to remain optimistic and on track to a full recovery. Yep, I'm on my way to complete wellness and I'm not stopping until I get there:

• Pain is part of growing.
• Everything in life is temporary.
• Worry and complaining changes nothing.
• Your scars are your symbols of strength.
• Every little struggle is a step forward. 
• What's meant to be will eventually be.
• The best thing you can do is keep going. 

Did you ever think that you would be alive to see a pandemic? Of course you didn't,  because we all think that major tragedies like global pandemics and world wars are the sorts of things that only happened in the past and certainly not during our modern and civilized times. And yet, here we all are in various states of isolation, silently watching on from our windows as the world seems to fall apart around us. And even though history allowed us to see the patterns of time that showed us that another worldwide flu would arrive again (just like it has every other 100 years or so) to create widespread damage and havoc. We still, in spite of our better knowledge, just weren't prepared enough for this on a global scale. And for that reason we were too slow to respond, too inexperienced to know how to deal with it and in some parts of the world, absolutely shit at containing it. 
COVID-19 has now officially changed every person's life on the planet in some way, shape or form. No-one can really say that they have not felt the effects of COVID-19 and be telling the truth, because it is impossible to not be feeling the effects in some way. Even if it is only something as basic as the way that you shop, things are not the same, things are different and people are behaving differently as well. Never before have I looked at people going to events, out for dinner or engaging in simple gatherings in movies or on TV with such an intense longing. The simple act of being out for coffee at a cafe or walking through the gardens and seeing children playing happily or having a gathering of friends and family around for a meal or a drink; these things all seem incredibly desirable and appealing in ways that they have never been before. 
And what this has all made me realise is, that not only do we take all of this freedom and socialisation for granted most of the time, but also how desperately we need each other, in ways that we may not have appreciated before. People need people, they just do. We weren't meant to be alone, we aren't designed to be solitary creatures. Humans are meant to roam in packs and being in isolation has made that all the more prevalent for me, and that's a pretty big comment when its coming from an introvert like me because I usually crave isolation and alone time; but clearly too much of it is not ideal for anyone, not even the introverts of the world. 
Sure there may be some people who are still loving all this separation from society, and at first I think that the novelty of it all did seem slightly more magical and ideal than the reality of the situation actually is. I know that there were a lot of people who were high fiving themselves over the possibility of working from home, but now that the reality and the loneliness of that has really sunk in, truth is that it is not easier or more desirable to be at home 24/7. 
For this reason, I have chosen to be on site at work for two days a week, directly working with the children of essential workers. It is actually nice to get away from the confines, routine and monotony of working from home. You can only do so many Google Meets and Zoom conferences before you start to go a little bit bonkers from all of the screen time. And having a reason to go for a drive and get out of the house that isn't related to groceries or exercise is actually a pleasure. Yep, you heard it here, physically going in to work is actually quite pleasurable. I never thought that I would ever say that, but there you have it. Turns out that COVID-19 really has changed me and maybe I am not as much of an introvert as I thought that I was, or maybe this is just a consequence of too much time at home.
I cannot deny it, I sure am missing my regular trips to the movies and the dinners and drinks that usually accompanied those journeys. I guess it is true, you really don't know what you've got 'til it's gone....'cos man oh man I would really love a choc-top ice-cream, a double feature movie in a huge spacious theatre and some friendly face to face, after movie chatter right about now! Ahhh, to brighter days and wider spaces ahead my friends, but in the meantime - stay well and yeah you know, even though you don't want to anymore, stay at home! 

There is nothing like a slow burning apocalypse to really make you re-evaluate your priorities and challenge your optimistic fortitude. Amidst the deep fear and total uncertainty of the COVID-19 pandemic, some things are becoming more and more prevalent and clear to me as the days progress; some of them good and some of them not so good. Let's get the not so good out of the way first, because you know that I always like to end on a high note.
The first and most glaringly obvious negative for us all at the moment would have to be the complete and flagrant disregard for the welfare of others that certain members of the public have been displaying. How people can still justify congregating in public spaces and being out of their homes unnecessarily when there are already 663, 740 people infected worldwide due to their lack of social isolation, is a total mystery to me. But, we all know the old 'lead a horse to water' saying and this is a perfect example of just how stupid and selfish people can actually be in spite of all of the information that is out there to tell them not do these things. 
Some other negatives out in the world right now that are in direct relation to the pandemic, but have very little to do with actually contracting the contagion are things like people losing their jobs, the economy crashing and hospitals around the world not having enough beds or breathing apparatus for the poor infected people that need them. Not having a vaccine is another blazingly obvious crap pile right now, and so is Donald Trump, but to be fair he was a pretty huge negative before all of this happened anyway. 
The world is also exceptionally grim for all of the extroverts because they are having to self manage their inability to socialise. And the people in self denial are being forced to turn and face their own truths whilst in isolation which will no doubt lead to depression, and let's not forget all of the parents of poorly behaved children who are finally discovering just how appalling their children's antics really are during self isolation.
And if that's not all bad enough, the experts predict that domestic abuse, substance abuse and reckless behaviour, crime and looting could become major problems in the future if things keep getting worse, and let's be really honest, things are going to get worse. However, there are some silver linings to be found amidst this giant shit storm if you just know where to look. 
So force yourself to push aside some of the 'hell in a handbag' thoughts, because there are some hidden gems to be found here in this wreckage. Let us now consider the good things that will actually come out of all this chaos, becasue, believe it or not, there are quite a lot of good things to be gleaned during this difficult time (see I told you I was going to finish on a high note). 
Here are some of my 'always look on the bright side' thoughts to consider and keep in mind during these challenging times:

• You will gain an appreciation for all of the little things that you've always taken for granted like the smell of a good coffee, the feel of a warm shower and the beauty of nature. 
• You'll get a renewed respect for your usual levels of freedom and immense choice. You probably didn't really think that going out for dinner and seeing a movie was a very big deal before all of this did you? 
• You'll strengthen your connections with the people in your family and your friends that you care about the most. 
• You'll see people offering support, demonstrating kindness and banding together in ways that communities can only do through mutual struggle. Don't be surprised if you get your faith in humanity restored sometime down the track. 
• You'll learn new skills, take up new hobbies and finally catch up on reading all of those books you've stockpiled and all TV series that you wanted to see during self isolation. 
• You will build your own resilience as you tackle and manage your own difficult and challenging emotions. 
• You'll be less of a slave to the clock and the expectations of a western society, which if you can learn to embrace, will make you feel a lot more liberated and in control of your own life. 
• You'll be able to have more quality time with your family doing fun things like puzzles, crafts, cooking, exercising and just talking and sharing experiences and ideas. 
• You will come to realise that you are in control of how much COVID-19 exposure you want to have, so if you really can't cope with all the information because it's too stressful, guess what? You can choose to opt out and go offline. 
• You'll become more inventive and resourceful as you bravely navigate the challenges of each day, one day at a time. 
• You can wear tracksuits and beanies everyday! You even have the power to go bra-less! And remember that you don't need to wear makeup, perfume or shave under your armpits either - no-one will even know! 

NOTHING TO HIDE
Release Date: 2018
Rating: MA 15+ 
Running Time: 90 mins 
A French comedy/ drama directed by Fred Cavaye and adapted from the 2016 Italian film Perfect Strangers by Paolo Genovese. I myself have not seen the original, but apparently they are practically identical so if you have already seen Perfect Strangers you might want to give Nothing to Hide a miss.
Several friends at a dinner party decide to play a revealing game in the name of transparency. Everyone places their mobile phones on the table face up and agree to make all texts, messages and calls received completely public in an attempt to prove that they have nothing to hide from each other. 
As the secrets and motivations of the characters start to spill out, the story gets more convoluted and a lot more interesting as well, and although this is hardly riveting or very believable viewing, it is definitely engaging and the cast to do a tremendously good job of playing out their roles with conviction and sincerity. 
At only 90 minutes in length, Nothing to Hide offers is a short and sweet 'fly on the wall' romp into the lives of others that has an unusual and unforeseeable twist right at the end, that I am still not sure if I really liked to be honest. 
FINAL SAY: If I show you mine, you show me yours. 
3 Chilli Peppers ​

I went into self isolation this week; started it on Monday 23rd March at 4pm. I was not told that I had to do this, it was a choice that I made for myself and my family. The children at my work all finished school on Monday due to a mandated early school holiday break and suddenly the opportunity arose for me to remove myself from society and limit my exposure to COVID-19. So here I am, in a self chosen self isolation situation. 
I do realise that I could be in a mandated lock down situation in the future that could last a lot longer than 14 days, but after this initial 14 days at least I can be assured that I am clear of any possible infection, which will then put me in a position to better care for those around me. 
I currently have three elderly parents in my life. My mother who was widowed in November and is still adjusting to a single life reality and my two in-laws who both have seriously compromised immune systems due to illness and radiation therapy. What things will look like for them over the coming weeks is uncertain at best, and I would like to be able to provide support to them if things do escalate at the rate that they are predicted to over the coming weeks. I would also like to know without a shadow of a doubt that I not going to be contagious or compromise their well being when I do offer that support. 
If there is anything that we can learn from the models of other coronavirus ravaged countries at this stage, it's that self isolation saves lives. Social distancing and staying at home is the only way to ensure that we are not only protecting ourselves from the virus, but also not spreading it around to others as well. With 30% of the infected population showing little to no symptoms, we really cannot afford to be flippant with our own or anyone else's well being anymore. If there is any kind of opportunity for you to self isolate then I would seriously urge that you to do that and stay at home now if you can.
And I do understand that going into self isolation for some people would be a really confronting and difficult thing to face, especially if you are used to being a social butterfly and thrive on being out amongst the people, but the bottom line now is that 'getting amongst it' is just not a safe or reasonable option any more. In fact it's actually social neglect at best. I think that if you aren't taking some serious measures to be distancing yourself from others as much as possible at this point then you are probably being pretty ficken irresponsible and selfish. 
And during self isolation you do have to find ways to amuse yourself in your own little part of the world, which for some people is littler that others I know, but you just have to. Yesterday I saw kids riding around the neighbourhood on their bikes (at an acceptable social distance of course) and I even saw a couple of teens climbing a massive pine that has fallen in the vacant block across the road from us. I haven't seen kids doing things like that in  a very long time because they are usually all hanging out and going places with their mates, but now they are being forced to be inventive with what they get up to. People can't engage in their usual or preferred modes of hobbies and pastimes, so they have to find other things to do now, things that are not only enjoyable but that can also be done with social distancing in mind as well, and that's going to be a real head scratcher for a lot of people. 
Fortunately I have done a lot of pre-work around time filling on Spicywatch.com. Turns out that I am a bit of a time filling expert of sorts!  So please allow me to recommend a couple of my previous blog posts for you to refer back to for some self isolation, time filling inspiration. Please use these resources, and above all else - stay in and stay well! 
https://www.spicywatch.com/blog/im-never-bored
https://www.spicywatch.com/blog/self-care
https://www.spicywatch.com/blog/namaste-for-all
https://www.spicywatch.com/blog/stuff-to-binge-on
https://www.spicywatch.com/blog/art-therapy
https://www.spicywatch.com/blog/play-it-again-sam
https://www.spicywatch.com/blog/unmissable-tv
https://www.spicywatch.com/blog/social-media-confessions
https://www.spicywatch.com/blog/subtitles
​https://www.spicywatch.com/blog/objects-of-desire-aka-shiny-distractions
https://www.spicywatch.com/blog/the-best-viewing-experiences-of-2019
https://www.spicywatch.com/blog/not-just-another-movie
https://www.spicywatch.com/blog/pleasing-podcasts
​https://www.spicywatch.com/blog/the-best-viewing-experiences-of-2018

HERE ALONE
Release Date: 2016
Rating: M
Running Time: 98 mins 
Unfairly slammed by critics, Here Alone is one of those zombie apocalyptic movies that is far more concerned in the plight of the characters than the actual apocalyptic event and circumstances, which really seems to frustrate a lot of people. I on the other hand, don't need to see dozens of zombie hordes to get a real sense of impending doom, and I thought  that this movie quite poignantly conveys a deep sense of isolation with its touching portrayal of everyday people struggling to survive in a very fractured world. 
Ann (Lucy Walters) is all alone in the wildness and struggling to survive with limited resources. A deadly epidemic has claimed the lives of everyone around her and turned the living into bloodthirsty monsters. During a raid on a property for food, Ann stumbles upon a teenager and her injured father, she takes mercy on them both and allows them to enter her camp. 
For a zombie movie, this is a slow burner, and if you've come here looking for lots of rabid zombie, brain-eating action, then you have come to the wrong place. However, as far as horror drama goes, this is a terrific example of that, with Lucy Walters carrying this movie fully on her shoulders and doing it brilliantly. 
FINAL SAY: We saw them before anyone knew what was going on.
3 Chilli Peppers ​

Sometimes I can be a bit of a magpie; attracted to shiny pretty things and distracted with feathering my nest. And when you consider the current state of events, where the world feels like it has gone completely bonkers, selfish and generally illogical, then some kind of distraction is extremely welcome and probably quite necessary at this point.
I wholeheartedly believe that we are all looking for some form distraction (and maybe a bit of oblivion as well) in our lives right now. Whether we are in a forced lockdown situation or not, we all need to think about other things that have nothing to with COVID-19, because if we don't we'll slowly drown in our rising worries and anxiety, sink beneath our escalating concerns or become crushed under the weight of our overwhelming sense of grief.
​For some people, that distraction comes in the form of a shit tonne of streaming, for others it comes in the form of absorbing novels, for some it's long walks and meditation and then for others it's sex, drugs and rock and roll; and in all honesty maybe I'm actually indulging in a little bit of all of those things. However, there is nothing quite like indulging in some imaginary online shopping to really distract. Yep that's right I said imaginary, becasue I am not shopping for a pair of cute earrings, a new dress or a fancy mug, I'm looking at some big, expensive merch. And I love doing it, even if it's only online 'window' shopping. 
As I previously mentioned in my blog, I love to look at images and images of things that I desire are all the better as far as I am concerned. Nothing distracts me faster than shiny, beautiful and lovely things, and I have to admit it, I am a total whore for visual stimulus and looking at things that I want to purchase but may never be able to afford to have, pleases and distracts me in shamefully embarrassing ways.  
But, this is not the time to be embarrassed about the things that we like to be distracted by, it's a time to embrace them, to share them, to try and distract others with them as well. I would much rather hear about people's coping mechanisms, distractions and coping tools at the moment instead of hearing another 'search for loo roll' tale. And I never ever want to see another picture of some asshole hoarders house that's full of supplies that they not only don't need right now but have no right to have over anyone else either. However, I am diverting, let me draw my attention back to the lovely shiny things that I find so very stimulating and desirable.
Here's my top ten secret objects of desire that I am completely distracted by and that I love to drool over when I'm all alone....Oh yes....I'll get you my pretties...well, maybe one day anyway. For now you're all just a beautiful and welcome distraction. 

1. Super hot vintage cars
2. Insanely intricate and highly stylised side tables and bureaus
3. Expensive artworks
4. Handmade/ hand woven Persian and Indian rugs, baskets and blankets
5. Unique furniture pieces
6. Ridiculously extravagant light fittings and chandeliers 
7. Sprawling asian zen gardens 
8. Designer handmade chocolates 
9. Handcrafted dinnerware and cutlery  
10. Sexy images of Keanu Reeves 

JOHN WICK 
Release Date: 2014
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 101 mins 
A slick action-crime film directed by Chad Stahelski, in his directorial debut and written by Derek Kolstad. John Wick delivers a fast paced, action packed ride with intense fight scenes that rival Hong Kong action movies. I was pleasantly and unexpectedly entertained by this movie with it's neo-noir vibe and smooth talking hitman with a soft heart, it is undeniably enjoyable. 
When the puppy that his recently deceased wife left for him to assist with his grief is killed and his beloved Mustang is stolen, ex-hitman John Wick comes out of retirement to exact his revenge. 
​No big surprises with the storyline here, it all plays out in a pretty predictable and linear fashion, but the real strength of this movie is the impeccable cast and intense action sequences.  Ian McShane, Willem Dafoe, Michael Nyqvist, Alfie Allen and John Leguizamo all join the ranks, but they are completely eclipsed by Keanu Reeves, who hasn't delivered anything this sexy and cool since The Matrix. 
FINAL SAY: He was the one that you sent to kill the fucking Boogeyman. 
4 Chilli Peppers
Note: John Wick: Chapter 2 released in 2017 and  John Wick: Chapter 3 - Parabellum released in 2019 continue to deliver even more high quality, fast paced action and are equally as good (dare I say even better?) as the first John Wick offering. As far as action trilogies go, the John Wick trilogy is the best that I have ever seen. ​

You can't really be alive on the planet at the moment and not feel somewhat affected by the threat of the Coronavirus aka COVID -19. Even if you haven't yet gone all gung ho and stock piled enough toilet paper to ensure that you have a clean and dry arse until 2030 or smuggled away enough beans, rice, pasta and dry stock provisions for at least a month of basic apocalyptic cuisine, you'll still be feeling the rising concern and now unignorable reality that we are indeed facing a pandemic that is going to pose a serious threat to people with compromised immune systems, chronic health disorders and of course the very young, old and at risk members of our communities. 
Scary stuff, and something that no-one on the planet today has ever actually experienced before, because not only is the Coronavirus different from any other pandemic that we have seen before, but also due to our level of worldwide connection and travel demands, we are spreading it around at an alarming and seemingly uncontrollable rate.  
The last and most deadly pandemic that we faced was The Spanish Flu of 1918, which infected one third of the world's population. It caused somewhere between 20-50 million deaths, and although we have seen many other smaller scale pandemics since then, we have never faced something that has infected every continent of the globe (except the Antarctic) at such a ferocious rate. And this is why governments are now scrambling to work out a way to contain the spread as fast as possible. Hence the threat of a potential home lockdown for many parts of the world. 
At the moment, there are 147,000 reported cases of COVID-19 across the world, with 5,539 deaths. Shops, businesses, schools and non-essential public areas are closing in the US and France. Flights and travel has been restricted across the globe. Areas of Spain, China, Italy, Denmark, Norway, UK and Ireland have already started lockdown procedures with their citizens to inhibit the spread of infection. In short, this shit is getting real and pretty hard to ignore, even for the most cynical, flippant or suspicious people.
So what to do? Run screaming into the night and declare that it is the end of the world as we know it? Well, you could do that if you were a nutter, but if you really want to be proactive about it, here is my advice based on what I have read thus far about COVID-19.

• Stay calm - experts predict that 80% of the population won't require any or minimal medical care, so odds are you're going to be just fine.
• Minimise the stress to yourself by only having daily updates - find a reputable COVID -19 news and information page that you can check on once a day to stay abreast of developments and recommendations. 
• If you feel sick, don't go to work. Self quarantine for 14 days and avoid public spaces. 
• Wash your hands thoroughly and regularly when you have been in public spaces, use hand sanitizer when you enter your home, practice good personal hygiene, and try not to touch your face. 
• Practise social distance - 6 feet from others. No handshaking and use your elbow or hip to turn on switches, open elevators, turn door handles etc. 
• Each time you shop, add a couple of basic non-perishable items to your trolley. Aim to have a couple of weeks of food basics on hand at home just in case you are asked to go into lockdown. Consider any personal sanitary items,  pet supplies and medications that you may also require if you were in a lockdown situation and pre purchase wisely. Please note that a two week supply of food would never constitute 100 rolls of toilet paper, 30 packets of rice and 50 cans of tuna, so please be sensible and considerate when you are increasing your supplies. There are people out there that are really going to need certain items and taking them all is not only ridiculous but also extremely dangerous to the health and wellbeing of others, so shop with care and consideration.
• Do not watch the movie Contagion or the TV show Pandemic if you are already feeling really anxious about COVID-19. Not only are these programs un-directly related to our current reality in so many ways, they will only serve to send already vulnerable minds into an unnecessary tailspin.
• Look after yourself, rest well, eat well and above all else - stay calm. 

I am absolutely terrified by the possibility of being eaten alive. Of all the really horrible and traumatic ways to die, being eaten alive seems to be the absolute worst way to go in mind. Living in Australia does mean that I will probably never be devoured by a lion or a tiger, or a grizzly bear for that matter, which by the way all hold the same level of absolute fear and terror for me. However, there is a slight risk of being gobbled up at the beach by an enormous sea creature or worst of all, a shark. I am knee trembling, nail biting, shit scared of sharks and the idea of one taking a chunk out of me makes me feel extremely nauseous. 
Now I know that the chances of being eaten alive by a vicious creature are slim, virtually nonexistent if you actually look at the statistics, but like all really tremendously crappy ways to die, we understand that the chances are slim but we just don't want that to be the way that we go out in the end. Everyone has dreamy visions of peacefully going to sleep in their old age and passing away mid dream cycle, but did you know that only 1 out of every 8 of us will actually go out that way? So what happens to the other 7 out of 8 of us then? Not bloody eaten alive I would hope! 
Well, I did a bit of digging, not just to alleviate my concerns around an animal consuming me alive, but to also discover what I really am most likely to die of and these are the top ten most likely ways to die in our modern times: 

1. Heart Disease
2. Cancer
3. Chronic Lower Respiratory Diseases
4. Accident (mostly falls, transport accidents or poisoning) 
5. Stroke
6. Alzheimer's Disease
7. Diabetes
8. Influenza or Pneumonia
9. Kidney Disease
10. Suicide

Now if you have a good look at that list, it is most certainly going to kick up your efforts around taking care of yourself because a vast majority of those reasons for death are health related, and many of them are preventable health related issues as well. Which, although disturbing, is also really hopeful because we can use that knowledge to our best advantage and make lifestyle choices that will prevent us from dying of chronic health diseases and disorders. In short, we do have the power to avoid becoming one of the 7 others that don't die in our sleep.  
However, on a really obscure note, there is also a list online of the most unusual ways to die, and I'm not sure that I would necessarily want to go out in any of these ways either, but the list does offer some very entertaining reading.
Here are some 'odd ways' to die that are so weird and amusing that they do deserve to be talked about: 

• An Athenian lawmaker was smothered to death by gifts of cloaks and hats that appreciative citizens threw over him.
• In 455 BC Valerius Maximus was killed by a tortoise that was dropped on him by an eagle. 
• Agathocles, a Greek tyrant was murdered with a poisonous toothpick.
• Louis III, King of West Francis died after hitting his head on the lintel of a low door frame. 
• Crown Prince Philippe of France died when his horse tripped over a black pig running out of a dung pile in the Parisian streets. 
• Hans Staininger died of a broken neck after he tripped over his own beard in Austria in 1567. 
• William Snyder died when a circus clown swung him around by his heels in 1854.
• Henry Taylor tripped when carrying a coffin and was crushed to death by it in 1872. 
• 21 people died in 1919 when a large molasses storage tanker burst and drowned them. 
• Sherwood Anderson, an American writer died after accidentally swallowing a toothpick that infected his gastrointestinal tract. 
• Basil Brown, a health food advocate consumed 70 million units of Vitamin A and around 10 gallons of carrot juice in 10 days and died with bright yellow skin. 
• Dick Wertheim, a tennis linesman died after being struck in the groin with a tennis ball and fell out of his chair onto the hard court face down. 
• A 75 year old woman was killed by a poodle that fell from a window on the 13th floor in 1988. 
• An entire soccer team of 11 were fatally killed by lightning whilst playing in the Democratic Republic of Congo - unbelievably the other team were unharmed. 
• Robert Williams, a worker at the Ford Motor plant was the first person to be killed by a robot when the arm of a factory robot fell on his head! Rise of the machines right there I tell you, it all starts with a simple knock to the head by a rogue arm and then next thing...well you know how it goes! 

THE TERMINATOR 1 & 2 (JUDGMENT DAY)
Release Dates: 1984 and 1991
Rating: MA 15+
Running Times: 107 mins and 137 mins 
There's no point denying it, these two movies are great, they link together seamlessly, and tell a foreboding tale about a terrifying future where the machines rule the earth. Directed and written by James Cameron, and aside from his Aliens offering, this is really the best thing that he has ever done in my opinion; and it is also the best thing that Arnold Schwarzenegger has undertaken as well. 
The first instalment focuses on a humanoid cyborg known as a Terminator (Schwarzenegger) that has been sent back in time from 2029, to exterminate a waitress named Sarah Connor (Linda Hamilton). Unbeknownst to Sarah, in the future she will give birth to John Connor, a man that will lead a revolution against the oppressive machines. 
The second instalment focuses again on a humanoid cyborg that has been re-programmed to now protect the teenage John Connor (Edward Furlong) from a newer and more sinister model of Terminator that is still seeking to kill him. 
What you are going to get here is an action-packed science fiction experience, with loads of guns, explosions and robotic effects. The first movie actually boasted some pretty cutting edge effects for its time, and the second even won an Academy Award for Best Visual Effects, so these films have been executed really well and obviously had hefty budgets. Schwarzenegger was a perfect choice for the role of the Terminator, he just has to look menacing and say very little - apart from highly quotable one liners, a role clearly designed for him to execute perfectly. For high-paced sci-fi, these have got it in buckets and with the added bonus of a tight and interesting story line, what's not to like?
FINAL SAY: I'll be back! 
3.5 Chilli Peppers
NOTE: None of the later instalments (and there have been far too many) are worthy of your time or effort, see these first two and then leave it at that. ​

Bananarama and Fun Boy Three had a not so great but deadly catchy song in the eighties called 'It Aint What You Do' and it was all about how it wasn't what you did that mattered, but how you did it that got results. And for some unknown reason, every time that I have to enter into a difficult conversation with someone I always think about that song, but in my mind it goes more like 'it ain't what you say, it's the way that you say it - and that's what gets results.'
Even though we were all raised to have good manners and abide by the 'if you can't say anything nice then you shouldn't say anything at all' rule, all of us also know that sometimes, whether we really want to or not, we have to enter into very difficult and sometimes extremely inconvenient conversations with people that may be seen as unwanted or unwelcome.
And that's where diplomacy kicks in, and you have to employ a gentle hand and not let your mouth shoot from the hip, hence 'it ain't what you say...it's the way that you say it.' And I find that you can say just about anything if you say it in the right way; and as long as you can remain sensitive to the other person's feelings whilst you're saying it, then you can usually get across an unwanted message without too many tears or tantrums. Mary Poppins was totally right, a spoonful of sugar really does help the medicine go down and sometimes that extra dip of honey can make any difficult topic a little more palatable. 
Nobody likes receiving a jagged little pill of truth, I know that I never enjoy the taste of my own poison, but god knows that sometimes I have needed people to be straight shooters with me and just tell me how it is. I have however, always appreciated it when negative or unpleasant news has been delivered to me with a sugar coating or at the very least an awareness attached to it that I can be a ridiculously sensitive creature and that things don't always roll off my back as easily as water off a ducks, and sometimes when people are short or curt with me, I can't stomach it.
I have always appreciated those that have offered me a gentle delivery, and over time it has helped me to employ a much gentler hand myself when dealing with difficult or unpleasant conversations or people. I'm not perfect at it yet, but I am gradually getting better at putting the emotions of others first whenever I have to enter into 'awkward truth' territory. I have found that by putting myself into another person's emotional reality, I can really harness my empathy and get 'on the level' during these tricky exchanges. 
It is not okay to allow the people that you care about to act poorly or to treat you or others badly, it's actually quite neglectful to allow people that you care about to behave like assholes and go unchecked, but it is also extremely important to understand that these things do happen for a reason. People that are mean or insensitive are often the ones that are hurting the most, and I know this to be true becasue I usually only lash out when my personal pain is at its highest, which of course is not okay and sometimes I need to be gently reminded that it's not okay to wipe my bloodied palms all over others just because I fell over. 
Even a tiger can be tamed with the right amount of attention and affection, and the same goes for everything and everyone else. You can have awkward conversations and engage with difficult people, but you do have to be willing to hear their pain and be open to offering compassion when you do. It's true, it's not what you do, it's the way that you do it....it's not what you say, it's the way that you say it...and that's what gets results. Who knew that such sage advice would ever spring from the lyrics of Bananarama and Fun Boy Three? Turns out that zen messages can come from places that you would never really expect them to!

God knows that I love to have the last word, probably to my own detriment most of the time. Every time that I hear Annie Lennox singing that song 'Why?' when she reaches that line 'I tell myself too many times why don't you ever learn to keep your big mouth shut?' I shudder as it stings me with its complete accuracy. Yep, sometimes I know that I say far more than what is necessary. In fact I'm pretty sure that if I have any guiding spirits, that they would probably be face palming themselves behind my back regularly. It's true; I do have to own that in the heat of the moment I have been known to throw out some pretty unnecessary words and I'm not going to pretend that I am proud of that because I am not. Losing your shit and saying more than what is necessary is never a good thing and only an idiot would ever defend that kind of behaviour. 
It really is a massive problem having a big gob like I do and saying too much, and the worst part of all is that you can't take any of it back. Words can never be unsaid, rewound, unravelled or removed once they have been spoken, and sometimes the fallout of their impact can never be undone either. I have learnt over the years that it is far better to just say nothing at all than to say something mean, unkind or inappropriate. 
And it was in the spirit of last words that I started pondering about what I would say if I knew that it was the very last thing that I  would ever say in my lifetime. And before you start thinking that I have too much time on my hands (which I clearly do) it turns out that a lot of other people have thought about this as well because there is a huge list of famous people's last words on the internet (if you can believe that they are really true that is). Mind you some of them aren't actually the person's last words, they're just the last thing that they were ever heard saying, so their real last words were probably something more like 'Oh fuck I'm actually dying!' and we would never really know. Nevertheless here are a couple of rippers that I really enjoyed reading:

• Frank Sinatra - I'm losing it. 
• Margaret Sanger (Birth Control advocate) - A party, let's have a party!
• Nostradamus - Tomorrow, at sunrise, I shall no longer be here. 
• Leonardo da Vinci - I have offended god and mankind because my work did not reach the quality it should have.
• Richard Feynman - This dying is boring. 
• Sir Arthur Conan Doyle - (to his wife)  You are wonderful.
• Michael Landon - You're right, its time. I love you all.
• Eugene O'Neill - I knew it! I knew it! Born in a hotel room and goddamnit, dying in a hotel room.
• Jack Soo - It must've been the coffee. 
• Groucho Marx - This is no way to live. 
• Emily Dickinson - I must go in, for the fog is rising. 
• James Brown - I'm going away tonight.
• Steve Jobs - Oh wow. Oh wow. Oh wow. 

In all seriousness though, it is absolutely impossible to determine what your own last words might be, because who knows how you'll go in the end? I would imagine that what you would say on your deathbed surrounded by loved ones would be quite different to what you might say if you were mowed down in the street by a bus. However, I would hope that my last words were something more like 'oh it's even more wonderful than I could've imagined' and a lot less like  'oh so that's what Satan looks like.'
However, the chances of actually formulating something exceptional, memorable or poignant on your deathbed are honestly extremely unlikely, so my best advice is that if you've got something really important to say then I think that you owe it to world to say it well before the day that you actually leave. As long as it's nice!  Just saying!

The Golden Globes Awards happened on Monday at midday and I was lucky enough to watch them in real time from the comfort of my couch. However, it is extremely hard to really enjoy any type of celebration or merriment wholeheartedly at the moment without feeling extremely guilty. Especially when you are surrounded by a very ominous, dark, smokey haze that has drifted over from the devastating bushfires that are ravaging our country at the moment. To call the state of affairs in Australia grim at the moment would be a serious understatement, they are truly troubling and frightening real. 
Gone are the days of a laid back and relaxed Aussie Summer, the reality of our warmer season now is  an endurance of long dry days, hypervigilance and dire concern as year after year we watch in despair as our country turns to ash. And I am well aware that our climate makes us more susceptible to bushfire, but the frequency, ferocity and duration of this year's blazes has been unprecedented. Nowhere in Australia is safe from the threat of fire anymore and when you already live in a high fire risk area as I do, you can't help but be very, very concerned. 
Many of the actors that took to the stage on Monday extended their thoughts and solidarity towards Australia during our country's fire crisis, but goodwill and thoughts, although kind, aren't exactly going to extinguish the roaring blazes or save family homes. So, what can anyone really do to help? At this point in the crisis what we really need is more money, money to replace homes and support devastated communities to get back onto their feet and to help care for injured wildlife and fund koala hospitals. These donations can be made through The Red Cross, the CFA, Wildlife Victoria and also directly to The Victorian Bushfire Appeal, all of whom can easily be reached online if you feel compelled to offer financial support. 
In the long run however, it is up to us as a nation to not only be stronger in our fire awareness and prevention but to be far more mindful about where we place our votes for our country's leadership in the future. Without a leader in this country that is willing to make serious and realistic moves towards our climate change issues nothing is going to improve. Australia desperately needs a national climate and energy policy review, and most of all a leader that is willing to undertake that work. That is never going to happen if we don't make it happen, so please, I implore you to not waste your next vote but to thoughtfully consider what the future of our country will look like for our children and children's children and to have that at the forefront of your thinking when you vote next. Come on Australia - we can make big changes for the better by just casting our vote to where it is needed. 
​But enough about politics, let's lighten the mood and announce the Golden Globe recipients for 2020 - a most worthy and deserving bunch for sure:

The term 'gaslighting' was popularised after the 1944 film "Gaslight" with Charles Boyer and Ingrid Bergman. In the movie, the husband uses manipulative behaviours and manages to completely disrupt his wife's sense of reality. She begins to doubt her own sanity and he does all this to her so that he can steal her money....what an asshole!
Nowadays however, we use the term 'gaslighting' to describe people that use manipulative or specific patterns of behaviour to keep themselves on top or in control of other people. In short, a gaslighter doesn't want people doing anything without their say so or approval and they will use very sneaky and highly effective methods to keep themselves on top by making others doubt themselves or look incompetent. 
Gaslighters can turn up anywhere, you could even be married to one and not even realize it! They are usually in positions of power and they will most definitely want to keep things that way. Gaslighters can be men or women of any age, religion or nationality. They do often go undetected because their attempts at manipulation are slow, sly and exceptionally secretive. This can make them especially hard to identify in the workplace where they can happily push a lot of their own agenda or mask their cynicism by labelling it as necessary growth. 
Basically, gaslighters love the spotlight so they will happily claim other people's work or effort as their own, imply that other people's level of work is subpar or irrelevant and will openly push back any adverse behaviour that presents any kind of  jeopardy to their own perceived power status. Ever had a boss say something like "Oh,  I don't think that's true, maybe it's just how you choose to see it" when you try to present an issue to them? Well that soft manipulation technique is actually a form of gaslighting. So be aware, if your boss is always on the other side of all of your issues or giving you any reason to doubt yourself, your capabilities or your sense of reality, then odds are that you've been prey to a gaslighter. 
A gaslighter will micromanage others to the point of ridiculous in an attempt to stay in control. They will say things that make you doubt your own ability, they will make you feel like you aren't good enough and they will make it look like you are the one with the problem not them. Gaslighting is a form of narcissism, so you can bet that a gaslighter will vocally point out how successfully they once did the job that you are doing now - only better of course, and probably found it all a lot easier as well. They always lack the ability to put themselves into the shoes of another and therefore they lack empathy, which means that they will struggle to make deep connections with people, unless of course it will be of great benefit to them; then suddenly they will be hyper vigilant! 
Psychotherapist and owner of Mind Balance , Rose Lawrence has sighted the following traits to keep an eye out for when trying to spot a gaslighters: 

• Someone that uses their great humour and people skills to say things that sound innocent, but what they are really saying is underhanded and passive aggressive.
• Someone that listens long enough to collect information from you, but is not fully engaged in the listening process to show signs that they authentically care about what you are saying. 
• Lie and make you feel like it was your fault that they had to lie; gaslighters have zero accountability. 
• Take information and twist it around to their advantage or use it against others.
• Gossip to gain more ammunition.
• Appear confident but if you observe them closely they are actually deeply insecure.
• Leave you feeling like you are not enough. 

I hope that none of you ever have to deal with gaslighters in your life, but it is always good to be on the lookout for their ridiculous methods of manipulation, because as I said earlier, they are often very hard to detect.
If you do suspect that you are being gaslighted, make sure that you document any interactions as evidence. Setting up clear boundaries around what you will not tolerate will help you to document and identify when someone is gaslighting you. You will need very good evidence if you are going to try and out a gaslighter. Remember, gaslighters are sly, manipulative and methodical so you will need to be ahead of them at every step if you want to gain the upper hand or expose them. 
Also, don't forget to reaffirm your own self worth and what it is that you are good at. Doing this will help to combat any lingering doubts about your skills or sanity that a gaslighter might have tried to instill in you, and please seek support if you cannot manage this on your own. Remember, gaslighting is real and effective, that's why manipulative people use this method, so don't downplay the severity or the implications around it. Call it out, talk about it and stamp it out, gaslighting is nothing more than adult bullying and no-one should have to put up with it!

It is difficult to say whether or not the holiday that Craig and I had booked for our 25th wedding anniversary in Vanuatu had arrived at the most inopportune time ever or the most opportune time ever, but it did happen and we did get on a plane just days after my father's funeral and escape all of the worry and strife of the real world to go to one of the most pristine stretches of beach in the Eastern Pacific to sip cocktails and bask in the sun for five incredible days. 
This was our first trip to Vanuatu and the first time that Craig and I have booked a holiday that was just about the two of us in almost 12 years, so you could say that we were more than due to have some quality 'one on one' time. And perhaps it really was the best time to get away. I was still numb from all of my grief and in dire need of some TLC and headspace, and this holiday did feel genuinely like a complete exhale and a total spiritual reboot in so many ways. 
We stayed at the Eratap Beach Resort which is a boutique style, eco-friendly and completely authentic beach resort that is focused on low numbers, no children and complete five star beachside luxury. From the moment that we arrived and our accommodating host placed a cocktail into my hand as we entered I felt my shoulders drop and my stress begin to just melt away. We had just arrived in paradise, a real paradise with crystal clear waters, gentle ocean breezes and an award winning chef in the kitchen who provided us with nightly seafood feasts that were some of the best dishes that I have ever eaten in my life. 
The food? Completely gourmet and absolutely delicious. The drinks? Different cocktail specials every night and an extensive list that I indulged completely. The beach? White sands, azure and turquoise sparkling waters and the most incredible snorkeling you could ever imagine with clown fish, angel fish and even a giant red octopus; it was so damn good that I couldn't believe it was actually real. The resort? Pristine, perfect and completely seducing with it's swaying palms, tropical grounds and uber friendly staff. We felt like kings from the moment that we arrived and were treated like superstars for the duration. 
We kayaked, snorkelled, swam, hiked, ate, drank and lounged about for five days. We took two journeys outside of the resort which were both provided free of charge by the resort, one to visit the local village of Eratap to see their homes, school and church, and one into Port Vila for a spot of souvenir shopping. The rest of the time we did our own thing, ate whenever we wanted to because the restaurant was open until 11pm every day, and pretty much felt like we were there on our own because there are only 12 villas on the premises, so their were really only around 20 guests on the grounds at any given time. Heaven, totally and utterly divine in every way, we loved it and we were so sad to leave when our stay finally came to it's inevitable conclusion. 
Anyway...one quick 4.5 hour flight back to Melbourne from Port Vila and a fairly short drive from Tullamarine and we were back in Enfield. Unfortunately, it was not the happy return that we had been expecting and we were quickly slammed back into reality when we realised that both of the kids weren't well. Zoe could barely speak and was sporting a raging head cold and a very sore throat, and Seth who seemed okay on Friday night when we got home very late, arose on Saturday morning saying that he felt unwell and by 7pm on Saturday night we had him at the hospital Emergency Room after he had a febrile seizure and passed out in our lounge room. 
He had been vomiting on Saturday and his temperature had gotten dangerously high, then his blood pressure plummeted and teamed with his dehydration from vomiting, he went down for the count (thank God Craig caught him) and they had to put him on drip at the hospital, administer anti-nausea tablets and run some blood tests just to make sure that he didn't have anything more sinister going on. It was pretty stressful, and it was really not good to be back in the emergency ward of a hospital again so soon. However, all is well and Seth was released from hospital at 11pm on Saturday night with the all clear and slept like a baby at home until 9.30am this morning. 
Today I have been able to play nursemaid to both of the kids, and although I wish that we had returned home to happier circumstances, I am also tremendously relieved that we were home to take care of them and the entire situation ourselves. It is wonderful to get away and I am glad that Craig and I got to share such a wonderful experience of complete tranquility in Vanuatu; but for now.... it's back to reality and back to work tomorrow, because nothing - not even paradise - can last forever.