Sometimes I can be a bit of a magpie; attracted to shiny pretty things and distracted with feathering my nest. And when you consider the current state of events, where the world feels like it has gone completely bonkers, selfish and generally illogical, then some kind of distraction is extremely welcome and probably quite necessary at this point.
I wholeheartedly believe that we are all looking for some form distraction (and maybe a bit of oblivion as well) in our lives right now. Whether we are in a forced lockdown situation or not, we all need to think about other things that have nothing to with COVID-19, because if we don't we'll slowly drown in our rising worries and anxiety, sink beneath our escalating concerns or become crushed under the weight of our overwhelming sense of grief.
​For some people, that distraction comes in the form of a shit tonne of streaming, for others it comes in the form of absorbing novels, for some it's long walks and meditation and then for others it's sex, drugs and rock and roll; and in all honesty maybe I'm actually indulging in a little bit of all of those things. However, there is nothing quite like indulging in some imaginary online shopping to really distract. Yep that's right I said imaginary, becasue I am not shopping for a pair of cute earrings, a new dress or a fancy mug, I'm looking at some big, expensive merch. And I love doing it, even if it's only online 'window' shopping. 
As I previously mentioned in my blog, I love to look at images and images of things that I desire are all the better as far as I am concerned. Nothing distracts me faster than shiny, beautiful and lovely things, and I have to admit it, I am a total whore for visual stimulus and looking at things that I want to purchase but may never be able to afford to have, pleases and distracts me in shamefully embarrassing ways.  
But, this is not the time to be embarrassed about the things that we like to be distracted by, it's a time to embrace them, to share them, to try and distract others with them as well. I would much rather hear about people's coping mechanisms, distractions and coping tools at the moment instead of hearing another 'search for loo roll' tale. And I never ever want to see another picture of some asshole hoarders house that's full of supplies that they not only don't need right now but have no right to have over anyone else either. However, I am diverting, let me draw my attention back to the lovely shiny things that I find so very stimulating and desirable.
Here's my top ten secret objects of desire that I am completely distracted by and that I love to drool over when I'm all alone....Oh yes....I'll get you my pretties...well, maybe one day anyway. For now you're all just a beautiful and welcome distraction. 

1. Super hot vintage cars
2. Insanely intricate and highly stylised side tables and bureaus
3. Expensive artworks
4. Handmade/ hand woven Persian and Indian rugs, baskets and blankets
5. Unique furniture pieces
6. Ridiculously extravagant light fittings and chandeliers 
7. Sprawling asian zen gardens 
8. Designer handmade chocolates 
9. Handcrafted dinnerware and cutlery  
10. Sexy images of Keanu Reeves 

JOHN WICK 
Release Date: 2014
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 101 mins 
A slick action-crime film directed by Chad Stahelski, in his directorial debut and written by Derek Kolstad. John Wick delivers a fast paced, action packed ride with intense fight scenes that rival Hong Kong action movies. I was pleasantly and unexpectedly entertained by this movie with it's neo-noir vibe and smooth talking hitman with a soft heart, it is undeniably enjoyable. 
When the puppy that his recently deceased wife left for him to assist with his grief is killed and his beloved Mustang is stolen, ex-hitman John Wick comes out of retirement to exact his revenge. 
​No big surprises with the storyline here, it all plays out in a pretty predictable and linear fashion, but the real strength of this movie is the impeccable cast and intense action sequences.  Ian McShane, Willem Dafoe, Michael Nyqvist, Alfie Allen and John Leguizamo all join the ranks, but they are completely eclipsed by Keanu Reeves, who hasn't delivered anything this sexy and cool since The Matrix. 
FINAL SAY: He was the one that you sent to kill the fucking Boogeyman. 
4 Chilli Peppers
Note: John Wick: Chapter 2 released in 2017 and  John Wick: Chapter 3 - Parabellum released in 2019 continue to deliver even more high quality, fast paced action and are equally as good (dare I say even better?) as the first John Wick offering. As far as action trilogies go, the John Wick trilogy is the best that I have ever seen. ​

I have in other posts mentioned how I hate it when a movie franchise capitalises on the success of earlier films and starts to roll out endless sequels that are just absolute shit and not a scrap on the original in any way, and look this does happen quite a lot. However, I don't want to tell you about all of the times that Hollywood wasted my time with shithouse sequels, why would I do that when I can tell you about all of the times when they actually got it completely right?
I would much prefer to talk about all of the times that a sequel or trilogy produced something that was just as good as the original - and dare I say it, sometimes even better! Yes, it is true, that some sequels and sometimes trilogies (and even beyond; which is rare but has happened) can be just as good, if not better than, their predecessor offerings. And I have to say that I get mighty excited when things like this happen.
Whenever I enter the cinema to watch a second coming I never, not ever, expect for it to be great. So you can imagine my surprise and delight when they get the formula right and deliver something fabulous all over again. Impossible you say? I think not, check out these incredible feats of cinematic trilogy and sequel genius -no seriously, you should really check them out, they're actually all very good movies!
TERRIFIC TRILOGIES:

• The Godfather: Arguably the best movie trilogy that has ever been made and certainly one of the best that I've ever seen.
• Toy Story: All four of them are great, all four of them! This is so rare that it is literally unheard of. If you've somehow missed these, see them immediately. 
• Lord Of The Rings (Trilogy): I've said it a thousand times, these three movies are epic. All Hale King Jackson! 
• The Hobbit(Trilogy): More Jackson gold, not as good as LOTR, but still epic.
• John Wick: There have been three of these so far, and they just keep getting better and better, and Keanu gets sexier and sexier as well - bonus!
• The Indiana Jones trilogy: Yeah I know that there were four of them, but the first three were the best and you know it too!
• Before Midnight: The final film in the trilogy, with the first two being Before Sunrise and Before Sunset. These are some of the best and most realistic romance films ever made, and each installment gets more involved. 
• Three Colours: Blue, Red and White: These fabulous french/polish language films are loosely based on the three political ideals in the motto of the French republic: liberty, equality, fraternity, and they're all excellent. 

STUNNING SEQUELS: 

• Terminator 2: Judgement Day: The first one was great, but the second one was bad ass, CGI effects heaven in 1991. 
• Aliens: Yep, loved the original Alien with all of my heart, but kick ass Ripley saving the day in Aliens was so damn good!
• Blade Runner 2049: So good, and in my opinion better than the original in storyline. 
• Paddington 2: Probably the best sequel of 2017, it was just so damn adorable!
• The Dark Knight: Heath Ledger's performance elevated the Batman movies to new and great heights- amazing!
• Thor: Ragnarok: Funnier, faster and way more enjoyable than any of the other Thor films. 
• Logan: The Wolverine franchise swan song was so, so good - it made my best of 2017 film list because it's really intelligent and deeply moving.
• Insidious 2: A perfect follow up to the very creepy first offering, some consistently excellent horror film making here. 
• Deadpool 2 - I love the Deadpool movies, they are so naughty and tongue in cheek, they're winners all round for me.
• Creep 2 - More Mark Duplass weirdness! Creep 2 is a really good and consistent follow on to the first Creep film. 
• Kill Bill Vol 2 - Every bit as good as Kill Bill vol 1, I actually liked the second instalment more than the first, but I know that many would argue this with me. 
• Hellboy 2 - The Golden Army: Even better than the first Hellboy, loads more fantastic creatures and heaps of action packed fun. 
• Manon Des Sources: The second installment of the French language movie Jean De Florette is unforgettable material that shouldn't be missed. 
• Avengers: Endgame: A perfect ending to an incredible franchise and the best super sequel that has ever been made. Hall of Fame material!
• Mad Max: Fury Road: This modern take on Mad Max was an unmissable fuel injected adrenaline rush and made my best of 2015 list. 
• T2 Trainspotting: A mature and contemplative revisit to the lads twenty years on, very interesting. 
• The Conjuring 2 - The Enfield Haunting: Totally freaked me out, that bloody nun is scary as all shit! Way more scares than the first Conjuring offering. 
• The Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2: Just as good as Vol 1 in every way, just as funny, action packed and entertaining. 
• An Inconvenient Sequel: Truth to Power: If you're still in denial about global warming then watch Al Gore's second offering about the subject and get on board with feeling very uncomfortable and worried about the planet. 
• Zombieland: Double Tap: More hack and slash zombie killing with the old gang, what's not to like? 

The Academy Awards (or Oscars) are officially Hollywood's biggest awards 'night of nights.' They serve to award movie makers, directors and actors who have reached a pinnacle of excellence in their careers. To even receive an Oscar nomination is huge deal in Hollywood, and unlike the Golden Globes that celebrate television and film excellence, the Academy Awards are solely focused on recognising achievements of excellence in film.
The categories at the Oscars span much further than acting and directing, and also offer recognition for all of the creative and technical work that goes on behind the scenes when movies are made. From costuming, sound, cinematography, visual effects and cinema shorts, the Academy Awards are the most prestigious and coveted of all of the Hollywood award events, and even though I never miss the Golden Globes, the Screen Actors Guild Awards or the Critics Choice Awards, the Oscars are easily my favourite awards ceremony to watch every year. 
If you should wish to see the Academy Awards ceremony yourself this year, it will be broadcasting live on Channel Seven from 12pm on Monday 10th February, with an encore airing at 7.30pm for those of you who, like myself, will be at work during the day of the ceremony. 
And this year, the Academy Award nominees are as follows:
Best Picture:
“Ford v Ferrari”
“The Irishman”
“Jojo Rabbit”
“Joker”
“Little Women”
“Marriage Story”
“1917”
“Once Upon a Time in Hollywood”
“Parasite”
Lead Actor:
Antonio Banderas, “Pain and Glory”
Leonardo DiCaprio, “Once Upon a Time in Hollywood”
Adam Driver, “Marriage Story”
Joaquin Phoenix, “Joker”
Jonathan Pryce, “The Two Popes”
Lead Actress:
Cynthia Erivo, “Harriet”
Scarlett Johansson, “Marriage Story”
Saoirse Ronan, “Little Women”
Charlize Theron, “Bombshell”
Renee Zellweger, “Judy”
Supporting Actor:
Tom Hanks, “A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood”
Anthony Hopkins, “The Two Popes”
Al Pacino, “The Irishman”
Joe Pesci, “The Irishman”
Brad Pitt, “Once Upon a Time in Hollywood”
Supporting Actress:
Kathy Bates, “Richard Jewell”
Laura Dern, “Marriage Story”
Scarlett Johansson, “Jojo Rabbit”
Florence Pugh, “Little Women”
Margot Robbie, “Bombshell”
Director:
Martin Scorsese, “The Irishman”
Todd Phillips, “Joker”
Sam Mendes, “1917”
Quentin Tarantino, “Once Upon a Time in Hollywood”
Bong Joon Ho, “Parasite”
Animated Feature:
“How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World,” Dean DeBlois
“I Lost My Body,” Jeremy Clapin
“Klaus,” Sergio Pablos
“Missing Link,” Chris Butler
“Toy Story 4,”  Josh Cooley
Animated Short:
“Dcera,” Daria Kashcheeva
“Hair Love,” Matthew A. Cherry
“Kitbull,” Rosana Sullivan
“Memorable,” Bruno Collet
“Sister,” Siqi Song
Adapted Screenplay:
“The Irishman,” Steven Zaillian
“Jojo Rabbit,” Taika Waititi
“Joker,” Todd Phillips, Scott Silver
“Little Women,” Greta Gerwig
“The Two Popes,” Anthony McCarten
Original Screenplay:
“Knives Out,” Rian Johnson
“Marriage Story,” Noah Baumbach
“1917,” Sam Mendes and Krysty Wilson-Cairns
“Once Upon a Time in Hollywood,” Quentin Tarantino
“Parasite,” Bong Joon-ho, Jin Won Han
Cinematography:
“The Irishman,” Rodrigo Prieto
“Joker,” Lawrence Sher
“The Lighthouse,” Jarin Blaschke
“1917,” Roger Deakins
“Once Upon a Time in Hollywood,” Robert Richardson
Best Documentary Feature:
“American Factory,” Julia Rieichert, Steven Bognar
“The Cave,” Feras Fayyad
“The Edge of Democracy,” Petra Costa
“For Sama,” Waad Al-Kateab, Edward Watts
“Honeyland,” Tamara Kotevska, Ljubo Stefanov
Best Documentary Short Subject:
“In the Absence,” Yi Seung-Jun and Gary Byung-Seok Kam
“Learning to Skateboard in a Warzone,” Carol Dysinger
“Life Overtakes Me,” Kristine Samuelson and John Haptas
“St. Louis Superman,” Smriti Mundhra and Sami Khan
“Walk Run Cha-Cha,” Laura Nix
Best Live Action Short Film:
“Brotherhood,” Meryam Joobeur
“Nefta Football Club,” Yves Piat
“The Neighbors’ Window,” Marshall Curry
“Saria,” Bryan Buckley
“A Sister,” Delphine Girard
Best International Feature Film:
“Corpus Christi,” Jan Komasa
“Honeyland,” Tamara Kotevska, Ljubo Stefanov
“Les Miserables,” Ladj Ly
“Pain and Glory,” Pedro Almodovar
“Parasite,” Bong Joon Ho
Film Editing:
“Ford v Ferrari,” Michael McCusker, Andrew Buckland
“The Irishman,” Thelma Schoonmaker
“Jojo Rabbit,” Tom Eagles
“Joker,” Jeff Groth
“Parasite,” Jinmo Yang
Sound Editing:
“Ford v Ferrari,” Don Sylvester
“Joker,” Alan Robert Murray
“1917,” Oliver Tarney, Rachel Tate
“Once Upon a Time in Hollywood,” Wylie Stateman
“Star Wars: The Rise of SkyWalker,” Matthew Wood, David Acord
Sound Mixing:
“Ad Astra”
“Ford v Ferrari”
“Joker”
“1917”
“Once Upon a Time in Hollywood”
Production Design:
“The Irishman,” Bob Shaw and Regina Graves
“Jojo Rabbit,” Ra Vincent and Nora Sopkova
“1917,” Dennis Gassner and Lee Sandales
“Once Upon a Time in Hollywood,” Barbara Ling and Nancy Haigh
“Parasite,” Lee Ha-Jun and Cho Won Woo, Han Ga Ram, and Cho Hee
Original Score:
“Joker,” Hildur Guðnadóttir
“Little Women,” Alexandre Desplat
“Marriage Story,” Randy Newman
“1917,” Thomas Newman
“Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker,” John Williams
Original Song:
“I Can’t Let You Throw Yourself Away,” “Toy Story 4”
“I’m Gonna Love Me Again,” “Rocketman”
“I’m Standing With You,” “Breakthrough”
“Into the Unknown,” “Frozen 2”
“Stand Up,” “Harriet”
Makeup and Hair:
“Bombshell”
“Joker”
“Judy”
“Maleficent: Mistress of Evil”
“1917”
Costume Design:
”The Irishman,” Sandy Powell, Christopher Peterson
“Jojo Rabbit,” Mayes C. Rubeo
“Joker,” Mark Bridges
“Little Women,” Jacqueline Durran
“Once Upon a Time in Hollywood,” Arianne Phillips
Visual Effects:
“Avengers Endgame”
“The Irishman”
“1917”
“The Lion King”
“Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker”

Here's a shout out to all of the directors that have given me a memorable viewing experience at some point in my lifetime. This list is designed to give credit to my favourite director's work and offer homage to their incredible efforts. I have also cited my favourite movie offering from each director as well, just in case you wanted to know where I thought that they had put down their best work thus far. 
What made me really happy when I was compiling this list was just how varied, vast and interesting the styles of direction are that I have been fortunate enough to experience, but what made me really sad was the lack of female directors that made this list. Clearly, the role of director is still a very male dominated field in Hollywood. I did happen to notice that all of the best movie nominations at the Golden Globes this year were all for male directors. And the saddest thing of all about this is, that it is not at all indicative of female directorial ability or talent in any way, shape or form, what it is indicative of is the lack of opportunities for upcoming female directors, and that is something that really needs to change.
Some of the best movies and television programs that I have seen over the last few years were both written and directed by women. Women have incredible and engaging stories to tell both in front of and behind the camera, and I for one would like to see more of them in the future. So, please make sure that you too are making an effort to see more movies that have been directed women in a show of support for all of the female directing pioneers that are out there telling their stories and sharing their visions in a very male dominated industry. 
So without any further ado, here are my favourite movie directors (in no particular order other than my recall ability) and my favourite movies that they have brought to life on screen. 
David Lynch - A true visionary in every sense, he's the man behind Twin Peaks, Blue Velvet, The Elephant Man and Eraserhead. Lynch is known for his surrealist cinema stylings and deeply original point of view.
BEST MOVIE: Mulholland Drive
Wes Anderson - The king of quirk with a distinct visual style and amusing narrative. He's delivered gems like The Royal Tenenbaums, Moonrise Kingdom and The Grand Budapest Hotel and has produced two incredible stop motion children's animations as well, one of which is on my Hall of Fame.
BEST MOVIE: Fantastic Mr Fox
Lars von Trier- A Danish director and scriptwriter that has had a long and controversial career. Basically he seems to enjoy destroying beautiful things in all of his films, which are gritty and damning. He's responsible for Nymphomaniac, Antichrist, Dancer in the Dark and Dogville, which all left a mark on me. 
BEST MOVIE: Melancholia
Jason Reitman - Reitman seems to 'get' women and understand difficult relationship dynamics, and his films certainly portray that knowledge. He brought us Juno, Up in the Air, Tully and Young Adult which were all exceptionally good. 
BEST MOVIE: Labor Day 
Taika Waititi - A clever New Zealand comedy filmmaker who always seems to get the right balance between poignancy and laughs in his films. He's the funny guy behind Moana (he wrote the first screenplay), What We Do in the Shadows, Eagle vs Shark, Boy and most recently Jojo Rabbit. 
BEST MOVIE: Hunt for the Wilderpeople
Peter Jackson - Jackson is responsible for all of the journeys that I took in darkened cinemas to Middle Earth, I bloody love ya Peter! Besides the all of the LOTR's and The Hobbits, he is also the man behind King Kong, The Lovely Bones and the incredible documentary They Shall Not Grow Old. 
BEST MOVIE: The Lord of the Rings Trilogy
John Hughes - Hughes pretty much dictated everything that I became obsessed with in my teens. From bad boys to '80's fashion Hughes could do no wrong. I have rewatched Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Sixteen Candles and Weird Science countless times, they're absolute classics. 
BEST MOVIE: The Breakfast Club
Stanley Kubrick  - Probably one of the most influential filmmakers of all time, Kubrick has crossed so many genres that his body of work is dizzying! He gave us giants like 2001: A Space Odyssey, The Shining, Full Metal Jacket, Spartacus and A Clockwork Orange. 
BEST MOVIE: Eyes Wide Shut
Alejandro González Iñárritu - With a flair for telling the most compelling international stories about the human condition, this highly acclaimed Mexican director gave us some unforgettable cinematic experiences like Birdman, Amores Perros, 21 Grams and The Revenant. 
BEST MOVIE: Babel
Oliver Stone - A controversial director that has been accused of being a conspiracy theorist. He actually wrote the script for Scarface (which was directed by Brian De Palma) and also gave us Platoon, The Doors, Born on the Fourth of July and Wall Street. 
BEST MOVIE: Natural Born Killers
Michel Gondry - A French director that uses strong visual themes and compositions (often called Mise-en-scene)  to tell a story. Because of this, Gondry's movies are visually striking and are often considered to be art house or avante-garde. He gave us The Science of Sleep, Be Kind Rewind and most recently the brilliant  television series Kidding. 
BEST MOVIE: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Guillermo del Toro - A visionary fantasy director from Mexico who creatively brings monsters and mythical creatures to life in his films. Generally science fiction, horror or fantasy based, del Toro gave us some amazing otherworldly journeys through The Shape of Water, Hellboy and Crimson Peak.
BEST MOVIE: Pan's Labyrinth
Danny Boyle - This British director delivers equal measures of intense action and sincere emotion into everything that he does.  He's tried his hand at many genres and kept us gripped with Trainspotting, 28 Days Later, Sunshine, The Beach and more recently, Yesterday.
BEST MOVIE: Slumdog Millionaire
Sam Mendes - The buzz around this director has been huge this year, given the success of 1917. However, let's not forget all of his other epic offerings like American Beauty, Skyfall and Revolutionary Road.
BEST MOVIE: 1917 
James Wan  - An Australian-Malaysian director who rose to prominence after he co-created the Saw film franchise. Since then he has been scaring the pants off people with memorable horror films like The Conjuring, Insidious and Annabelle films.
BEST MOVIE: The Conjuring 2: The Enfield Case
Greta Gerwig - Actress and filmmaker, Gerwig collaborated with her partner (who is also a director) Noah Baumbach on several films before she kicked off her solo directing career in 2017 with Lady Bird. Since then, Gerwig has become a respected and predominant modern Hollywood director. 
BEST MOVIE: Little Women
Ridley Scott - I feel like I grew up watching Ridley Scott action and science fiction films. He's been entertaining me for decades and he's had some mind blowingly great movies like Alien, Blade Runner, Gladiator, Black Hawk Down and American Gangster. 
BEST MOVIE: The Martian
Michael Moore - A controversial American documentary filmmaker that gets up in everyone's face; love him or hate him, Michael Moore is hard to ignore. He's hit some very high notes with Fahrenheit 9/11, Sicko and Where to Invade Next. 
BEST MOVIE: Bowling for Columbine
Guy Ritchie - Before he married Madonna, Ritchie was making heaps of kick arse British gangster movies that were really funny and very entertaining.  He has just recently gone back to doing that again with The Gentlemen, but let's not forget that he also did Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, RocknRolla and believe it or not, the 2019 live action version of Aladdin. 
BEST MOVIE: Snatch
Jim Jarmusch - The patron saint of independent cinema since the '80's, Jarmusch's films are really arty, really cool, very edgy and hypnotically contemplative. He gave us Paterson, Deadman and Ghost Dog: The Way of the Samurai. 
BEST MOVIE: Only Lovers Left Alive
Steven Soderbergh - When Soderbergh made Unsane in 2018 and filmed it all on his iphone he made us feel like we were wasting our lives! He's a pioneer of independent cinema and his body of work is incredibly impressive; he gave us Contagion, Erin Brockovich and the Ocean's franchise. 
BEST MOVIE: Logan Lucky 
Christopher Nolan - He probably got a bit pigeon-holed for a while due to his Batman trilogy efforts (which I also loved) but let's not forget that he also gave us other memorable epics like Inception, Dunkirk and Memento. 
BEST MOVIE: Interstellar
Sam Raimi - Raimi terrified audiences in the 80's with The Evil Dead and then enchanted them in the early 2000's with Spiderman so it would be fair to say that his work is varied and vast. He also gave us some very noteworthy cult horror movies like Army of Darkness, Drag Me to Hell and Don't Breathe.
BEST MOVIE: The Evil Dead
Clint Eastwood - He blew everyone away when he started directing and acting in a string of extremely good and Oscar worthy movies, which he is still doing to this day. The man's got some serious talent and gave us gems like  Gran Torino, Million Dollar Baby and Mystic River.
BEST MOVIE: Unforgiven
Tim Burton - No-one does eccentric gothic horror and fantasy films better than Burton, he is the master! He has a style that is all his own, and with a lot of help from wife Helena Bonham Carter and actor Johnny Depp he's given us fantastical romps into magical fantasy worlds that have included Charlie and the Chocolate factory, Beetlejuice, Big Fish, Edward Scissorhands and Alice in Wonderland. 
BEST MOVIE: Sweeney Todd
Ang Lee - A visionary and a genuinely beautiful storyteller. It's rare for me not to get choked up when I watch an Ang Lee movie, they are just so deeply affecting. He gave us the gorgeous Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, Life of Pi and The Ice Storm. 
BEST MOVIE: Brokeback Mountain
Sofia Coppola - Daughter of Francis Ford Coppola, Sofia has proven her worth as a director in her own right by delivering thoughtful explorations of female relationships and genuine, modern impressions of the human experience. She was responsible for The Virgin Suicides, Marie Antoinette and The Beguiled. 
BEST MOVIE: Lost in Translation
Judd Apatow -An American comedy director that started out producing and developing the television show Freaks and Geeks in the late 90's. He went on to direct Trainwreck, The 40-year-old Virgin and Knocked Up and also write some of the funniest movies that I have ever seen. 
​BEST MOVIE: Superbad
Alfred Hitchcock - The most influential and extensively studied filmmaker in the history of cinema, how could I possibly leave Hitchcock off my list? He's been giving audiences thrills and chills for years, and he still is with his extensive repertoire of thriller classics like North by Northwest, The Birds, Rear Window and Vertigo.
BEST MOVIE: Psycho
David Fincher - Ever since I saw The Game in 1997 I became interested in seeing more of Fincher's work. He's delivered a strong, controversial and impactful body of work and was responsible for Seven, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, The Social Network and Gone Girl.
BEST MOVIE: Fight Club
Paolo Sorrentino - An Italian director with an eye for truly beautiful and meaningful cinema. His films are absolute masterpieces and offer viewers moments of contemplation and glimpses of magic - I am obsessed with his work. He's responsible for Youth and This Must Be the Place. 
BEST MOVIE: The Great Beauty.
Joel and Ethan Coen - Genius brothers who bring something fresh, quirky and unique to the screen every time.  Their repertoire is so vast and so excellent that I really struggled to pick my favourite because they delivered The Big Lebowski, Blood Simple, O Brother Where Art Thou?, Fargo, Raising Arizona, Burn After Reading and True Grit, all of which were exceptionally great.
BEST MOVIE: No Country For Old Men
Alfonso Cuaron - A critically acclaimed Mexican director with an impeccable body of high quality work that crosses just about every genre of cinema including thriller, fantasy, science fiction and drama. Thanks Cuaron for giving us truly unforgettable moments like Y Tu Mama Tambien, Gravity and Children of Men.
BEST MOVIE: Roma
Francis Ford Coppola - Widely considered to be one of the greatest filmmakers of all time, Coppola practically had an all out nervous breakdown whilst filming Apocalypse Now in 1979. His commitment to 'getting the film right' has led people to see him a visionary of cinema. He gave us such giants as The Godfather trilogy, Bram Stoker's Dracula and The Outsiders. 
BEST MOVIE: Apocalypse Now
Quentin Tarantino - Known for his uber violent, non-linear storylines that contain extended dialogue, huge ensemble casts and loads of Pop Culture references, Tarantino has a style that is all his own. Many of his films pay homage to all of his own cinematic loves, especially Japanese martial arts, kung fu movies, spaghetti westerns and Italian horror. He's the man behind the following cinematic  juggernauts - Reservoir Dogs, Pulp Fiction, Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, Django Unchained, Kill Bill Vol 1 and 2, Death Proof and The Hateful Eight.
BEST MOVIE: Inglourious Basterds
Martin McDonagh - Considered to be the most acclaimed living Irish- British playwright, McDonagh caught my attentions when he made In Bruge, and then delivered again with Seven Psychopaths in 2012. But we all know him best for his amazing 2017 offering that made my Hall of Fame.
BEST MOVIE: Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri
Kathryn Bigelow - Spreading herself across a wide range of genres, Bigelow is not afraid to grapple the big topics. She is forging the way for future female directors with her stellar repertoire which includes Zero Dark Thirty, Near Dark and Point Break.
BEST MOVIE: The Hurt Locker
Darren Aronofsky - A director with a flair for delivering surreal, melodramatic and often disturbing content in his movies. Audiences often seem divided on Aronofsky's material, but I think that he is one of the most talented filmmakers of his generation. He brought us Black Swan, Requiem for a Dream, Pi, The Fountain and Mother!
BEST MOVIE: The Wrestler
Steven Spielberg - Okay, I know that he can be cheesy as hell, but when he gets it right - he really gets it right. There's a reason that Spielberg is still filling cinemas, the man knows how to make a movie. Besides I was virtually raised on Spielberg's material. He gave us E.T., Saving Private Ryan, Jurassic Park, Ready Player One, Schindler's List, Raiders of the Lost Ark, War of the Worlds and Jaws. 
BEST MOVIE: A.I. 
Tarsem Singh - An Indian director that creates films that are a complete immersion and a true feast for the senses. Stunning and absolutely unforgettable, I love his vision and wish that he would make more movies. Singh gave us Immortals, The Cell and Mirror Mirror.
BEST MOVIE: The Fall
Paul Thomas Anderson - Contemplative and filled with flawed and desperate characters, Anderson's movies explore dysfunctional families, alienation and loneliness and they are deeply affecting. He delivered some of my favourite cinematic experiences like Magnolia, Boogie Nights and Punch Drunk Love.
BEST MOVIE: There Will Be Blood.
Martin Scorsese - An American director best known for his gangster and crime movies, he is widely considered to be one of the most influential directors of the New Hollywood era. He tends to cast the same actors in many of his movies, and he has a long professional relationship with Robert De Niro. Scorsese gave us Goodfellas, Taxi Driver, The Departed, Raging Bull and most recently The Irishman. 
BEST MOVIE: Casino
David Cronenberg - Sometimes called the 'Baron of Blood' due to his visceral body horror movies. Cronenberg has made films that people never forget that they have seen, because they are so grotesque! It's really no surprise that I love his work! He gave us The Fly, Videodrome and  Scanners.
BEST MOVIE: eXistenZ
Alexander Payne -  One of the best filmmakers of all time, Payne's movies are full of dark humour and satirical depictions of a dysfunctional modern America. He's the man behind Sideways, About Schmidt and Nebraska.
BEST MOVIE: The Descendants
Jennifer Kent - Kent made her directorial debut in 2014 with the haunting film The Babadook. She is an Australian director that is willing to handle sensitive and disturbing material. Her 2018 movie The Nightingale caused waves due to it's graphic content, but I thought that it was one of the best film of that year. 
BEST MOVIE: The Nightingale
Roman Polanski - I wish that someone that wasn't a pedophile had directed Rosemary's Baby because it's definitely one of my favourite movies of all time. But the love ends there Roman because you're just not a good guy. 
BEST MOVIE: Rosemary's Baby 
HONOURABLE MENTIONS: aka 'I still love ya'

• Terrence Malick - The Thin Red Line and The Tree of Life, total game changers.
• Brian de Palma - Carrie and Scarface, enough said. 
• Dario Argento - 1977 Suspiria, nothing has come close to matching it in crazy colour design and stylised macabre.
• Neill Blomkamp - District 9 was next level genius, can we get more of that please? 
• Baz Luhrmann - Absolutely loved the Red Curtain Trilogy, and let's not forget The Great Gatsby or Australia. 
• Duncan Jones - you had me at Moon.
• Kenneth Lonergan - Manchester by the Sea, one of the most affecting movies I've ever seen.
• Woody Allen - actually I really don't love ya - NOT at all, you're a weirdo and you're a creep! However, I cannot deny that Blue Jasmine, Annie Hall, Mighty Aphrodite and Vicky Cristina Barcelona were all worthy watches. 

I haven't been on my website for what feels like an age, and I have good reason for that. I lost my father last week in what I can only describe as a whirlwind event of shock and surprise that left us all reeling and wondering what the hell had happened. I must say, that it is just like my father to go out like a clap of thunder, but considering the fact that he seemed to bounce back from every ailment that was thrown at him, we were all floored when he eventually succumbed and passed away. 
My dad was a man that never complained about his physical illnesses and never really revealed to us just how truly ill he really was, which meant that in the end he had a multitude of ailments (some secret and some not) that even his bullet proof fortitude could no longer manage. And being completely true to form, he waited until everyone was out of the room to take his leave and depart the world. This made the entire event feel so sudden and unexpected, but when you really read all of the early signs (which you always do after an event of this magnitude) we probably should have seen this coming and expected no less from our father. 
I really wanted dad to have a nice farewell and even though he hated any fuss or fanfare, we did put together a short and meaningful goodbye for him and I wrote and delivered his eulogy myself. Writing his eulogy was so cathartic for me, not only did I get to say farewell in my own terms and with my own words, I also got to have some beautiful and meaningful conversations with the other people that loved him dearly as they shared their special stories and memories of my father with me. The entire experience was really meaningful and it felt like such a perfect way to honour and farewell someone who had so much influence over my own life. 
I have decided to post the eulogy that I wrote as a tribute to my father, so that his story is immortalised and shared with the world, because he genuinely deserves nothing short of that. 

If dad was here today, I know that he would be overwhelmed with the amount of people that have gathered here for him. I also know that he would probably say something like "why are you bothering with all this bullshit for?" because that was dad's way.
However, in spite of dad not wanting any fuss or fanfare, I would like to talk a bit about him; about Don Hall - the larrikin, the hard working bloke, the complicated, private and yet always surprising man that I called my dad. 

Born to a tough as nails Aussie family of five just before the start of WW2 in 1938, my father knew about hard times and would often talk about his childhood with a mixture of joy and the type of sadness that only those who have struggled could ever really understand.
His family survived the depression, war time and post war together in the Western suburbs of Melbourne where he grew up shooting rabbits with his uncle Les, chasing trains for coal, stealing scraps of food from the chook shed to stave off his hunger and generally being a complete scallywag with his older sister Linda.
Linda shared some funny tales about their early childhood adventures that included nicking their father’s treasured chocolates and smokes and the time that dad created a makeshift community swimming pool from a burst water pipe hole that resulted in my dad emerging caked from head to toe in thick brown mud.
One day the two of them had a marvelous time jumping on the bloated belly of what they thought was a deceased horse just to hear the farting noises come out. Turns out that poor horse wasn’t dead at all and when they decided to poke it in the bum with a stick it jumped up and ran off, much to their shock and horror. Linda informed me that that poor horse not only survived its run in with her and my father, but gave birth to a foal soon after…I wonder why?

Dad would often reminisce and regale us with tales about his youth; which were generally tales of mischief, childhood bravery or just straight up acts of delinquency! I recall his stories about shooting snakes with his father’s shotgun that had slithered into the family home, getting picked up by the local cops for various law breaking deeds and his free spirited days upon his beloved Aerial Square 4 motorbike that his older brother swapped for a Ute; which I think that dad never forgave him for.
One of dad’s lifelong friends Carso shared with me what a tremendously good friend my dad had been over the years. He once even offered his beloved Aerial bike to use when I was dating a woman in another town, he said, he was the sort of friend that would give you his arse and shit out of his ribs. Sorry to the sensitive ears for that one….but I do think that accurately sums how generous my dad could be.
 
My dad was a handsome, suave man and with his quiet cool attitude and rugged demeanor the women always seemed to notice him. My sister Donna recently told me that her friends at school used to comment on how handsome he was when he would pick her up ‘he looks just like Elvis’ they would swoon, and with that perfect jet black, side combed slicked back hair he caught the eye of my mother and from that moment on they fell in love and started a lifelong love story that lasted for more than 60 years.
He married my mother in 1960, much to the distaste of both of their families. My mother’s family was not too sure about my mum marrying an ‘Aussie kangaroo’ as they called him, and my father’s parents weren’t too keen on him marrying a new Australian either, but against all of the odds and prejudices they did marry and they made it work together.
They were young parents, mum only a teenager herself when they welcomed Donna into the world and dad being super handy with his hands built a bungalow on my grandparent’s property so that they could start a life and save for their first home. More children soon arrived, Morry, William, Kath and myself and before he knew it dad had a brood of children to care for and he took his fatherly duties very seriously, especially when it came to his three beautiful daughters.
Fiercely protective and possessive as a father, any boy that knocked on our door for a date was ran through the Donnie Hall series of difficult questions and demands. ‘What exactly are your intentions with my daughter?’ He would ask whilst running his eye over some sweaty, clueless teenager that looked like they were going to explode under the weight of dads inquiring and judging eye.

And dad was incredibly old fashioned like that, he was a boys will be boys and girls will be ladies kind of a dad who had high expectations that we all felt obligated to meet.
And there was something about dad that made us all seek his approval and affections because underneath that hard exterior beat the heart of a truly soft and genuinely sensitive man.  Dad was firm but fair and we all knew that he only had our best interests at heart.
Those of us that knew him well understood that dad was actually just a big marshmallow who had mellowed greatly over the years and who loved nothing more than a joke (preferably a dirty one) and a good laugh.

He had many interests like cars, western and action movies and tinkering with mechanical things, especially fiddly things like clocks. He always had a curious mind and liked to learn new things, a fitter and turner by trade, my dad liked knowing how things worked and could spend hours investigating gadgets, taking things apart and putting them back together again.
One thing that we all knew about dad was his incredible work ethic, need to be kept busy and demand for perfection. He built and renovated several homes in his lifetime, one in Deer Park, Daylesford, Ballarat and eventually here in Ararat. House proud up until the end, he was laying new flooring in his house only weeks before he left us. Everyone said that dad would go with a hammer in his hand and that wasn’t far from the truth.
If something needed fixing, dad would do it. If something got broken, dad would work it out, and he took pride in being able to repair and mend almost anything that he put his mind to.

At his essence I believe that my father was a complicated man. He was often guarded, secretive and somewhat mysterious to us all in so many ways. He was difficult to get to know well and at times struggled to even understand the complexities of himself. I shared many conversations with him where he spoke candidly of his deep love and adoration for all of his children, grandchildren and our mother.
His last year with us was fraught with health complications, both physical and mental and it eventually took its toll on dad. But I also know that dad would want us to all remember the good times that we shared with him when we think about him, the laughs, the stories and the wonderful memories that we have of our time together.
I know that I will never watch a John Wayne, Charles Bronson or Clint Eastwood movie or hear a Roy Orbison song without thinking of my dad, I’ll never eat a roast lamb without wishing he could share it with me and I’ll never forget the man that I called dad.
Goodbye dad, we will all miss you very much. 

I went to see the much discussed and heatedly debated Joker movie on its opening day this week, not because I was caught up in all of the pre-movie controversy but rather because I genuinely had a desire to see it. I have seen every other DC comic movie offering and let's be honest, the preview of Joker looked amazing. For those of you that have somehow missed all of the pre-movie persecution of Joker, let me fill you in. 
This stand alone origin movie was shrouded in great concern because authorities felt that the film had the potential to unleash copycat violence and anarchy, particularly with fans of the previous anti-social media depictions of the Joker. And sure, after seeing it I can understand how it could make people that feel marginalised identify with the villain's plight, but I am not sure that will be enough to insight anarchy in the streets. The Joker has always been a character that embraces nihilism as a means of escaping his perceived cruel and unjust world, but if Jack Nicholson, Heath Ledger and Jared Leto didn't get the downtrodden lashing out, why should Joaquin Phoenix's portrayal be any different? 
Well, I cannot deny that when I went to see Joker and a man stood up at the front of the theatre at the beginning of the movie and shouted out to the audience- "We all live in this society" that my heart didn't leap into my throat recalling the mass shooting  that occured in America at an airing of Batman - The Dark Knight Rises in 2012, killing 12 people and injuring 70 others. Yep, all that pre-talk controversy did get to me and for a moment I did perceive potential danger and frightening social disorder. 
And I cannot argue that Joker is undeniably relentless with its portrayal of the beaten down underdog. There is literally no relief for poor Arthur Fleck (aka Joker) in this movie, he is the most insanely tragic character to grace our screens in a long while, and being a DC comic character, this film is going to reach a wide and greatly varied audience. And contrary to his title, he isn't very funny at all, he's actually extremely sad, socially inept and painfully awkward. He clearly has a range of anxieties, suffers from severe depression and evidently already has a mental disorder that is not being treated correctly. How can we not feel sorry for this invisible and pained character? This film is gut-wrenchingly upsetting and we eventually just accept his complete breakdown as an inevitable consequence of his conditions. There is nothing funny about that at all is there? 
However, this whole 'pushed to the end of my limits' character arc is not new or original, it has been done before. Martin Scorsese did it with Travis Bickle in Taxi Driver and Joel Schumacher did it with D-Fens in Falling Down and no-one took the streets and shot up the world to hell in support of those characters either. And maybe that's because all of these characters had lost their minds, they were not sane and they were not in control of themselves, and to assume that awake and intelligent audiences are going to become gun toting loons after seeing Joker is of course ridiculous, but we also cannot ignore that to some already abused and unstable viewers that the fantasy of becoming a hero to the powerless and abused, even if it means being feared, could be perceived as appealing. 
However, if we are going to start inciting DC comics as a call to action for unstable sympathisers than we would also need to address all of the other forms of nihilism that exist in the media and the music industry today in order to really explore the influence of villains in our current society. Let's be real, Joker isn't funny, but the ugly side of life isn't and it never will be. Will it make people rage against the machine? I honestly doubt it, but stranger things have happened, who knows? Maybe a Disney movie will trigger someone one day.
Mostly, I think that what people are afraid of in regards to this movie is the fact that they will indeed identify with the dreadful oppression of the downtrodden and mentally unwell; and the lack of resources that are made available to them, which is really highlighted by this film. Rather than making people grab their weapons, I would hope that this empathy would instead make them feel called to address what is going on in our society today for us to identify with this high level of neglect and what can be done for the marginalised and neglected in the form of prevention. Like I said, woke audiences will see this movie and its message in a very different way, and perhaps a more proactive way overall than anyone could have ever expected. 

JOKER
Release Date: 2019
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 121 mins 
A psychological thriller and a DC comics Joker origin story, this movie really divided audiences and critics alike with it's violent and often disturbing portrayal of mental illness. However, love it or hate it, this is one of the best performances of Joaquin Phoenix's already impressive repertoire and probably the best DC comic movie so far. Directed by Todd Phillips who co-wrote the screenplay with Scott Silver, Joker premiered at the 76th Venice International Film Festival where it won the Golden Lion award. 
Arthur Fleck, a clown for hire with a mental condition, lives with his aging mother in Gotham City. As the city collapses under crime, unemployment, and financial ruin, the Fleck family like so many others, fall onto hard and impoverish times. After a series of unfortunate and disempowering events occur, Arthur suffers a complete breakdown and begins a mental and physical transition, eventually transforming into the violent and deranged Joker of Gotham City. 
This is a chilling and plausible origin story that offers real depth and insight into the Joker character, as well as providing some new information about the Wayne family enterprise that Batman belongs to.
Phoenix delivers an Oscar worthy and completely engrossing performance as the Joker, which not only compliments the great work that Heath Ledger layed down years earlier in The Dark Knight, but adds yet another layer to this intriguing and genuinely disturbing character's tale. 
FINAL SAY: My mother always tells me to smile and put on a happy face. She told me I had a purpose: to bring laughter and joy to the world.
4 Chilli Peppers ​

Whenever I tell people that I have a website that is dedicated to reviewing movies they always ask me the same question - What's Your Favourite Movie of All Time? As a lover of movies, this is one of the hardest questions that I ever get asked because it is almost impossible to choose just one movie when I have seen and enjoyed so many.
There is a reason that I have a Hall of Fame page that is dedicated to movies that I gave 5 Chilli Peppers to, and that's because I find it so hard to compare movies from different genres against each other. If someone asks me what my favourite movie is, I usually respond with 'that depends on which genre you're talking about.'
If I could have the option of choosing a favourite in each genre, then I could definitely tell you my favourites without any trouble at all:
DRAMA: Manchester by the Sea
HORROR: Rosemary's Baby
SCIENCE FICTION: Interstellar
​WAR: Inglourious Basterds
SUPER: Avengers: Endgame
COMEDY: Snatch
CRIME/ACTION: No Country for Old Men
ART HOUSE: Youth
FOREIGN: The Great Beauty (La Grande Bellezza) 
FANTASY: The Lord of the Rings Trilogy
GRITTY: Melancholia
ROMANCE: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind 
KID FRIENDLY: Kubo and the Two Strings 

So why are these my favourite films when I have so many more listed on my Hall of Fame that are also 5 Chilli Peppers worthy? Well that's easy, these are the movies that I go back to time and time again and always enjoy them just as much as I did the first time that I watched them. All of them had an effect on me in one way or another and all of them left me pondering after I had seen them. I guess that I really don't have one favourite movie of all time, I actually have 13, which also happens to be my lucky number! 

Everyone has at least one great story to tell. Some people actually have even more than that, but everyone has at least one story that will either enchant, revolt, tantalize, amuse or tug at your heart strings in some way. The reason that I know this to be true is because I like to really listen to people, and when you really listen to people they will tell you the most marvellous things.
Not everything that people will tell you when you listen to them will be happy, in fact some things will be sad or even harrowing or worst of all vile, but they will tell you a story if you give them enough of your attention and ask the right questions, and that is when you will hear the most interesting stories that will stay with you forever. And stories should be varied anyway, our experience of the human condition is completely individualised and therefore multifaceted. No two people have the same life experiences and no two people will even view the same life experience in the same way, so when you think about it like that there are actually billions and billions of untold stories floating around inside random people right now just waiting to be heard. 
Some people have a genuine gift for storytelling and when they start to speak you just want to grab a cuppa and a cushion and dig in for a good listening session. Other people aren't quite as engaging when they tell their tales, but that doesn't make their stories any less meaningful or interesting in the long run. Sometimes the briefest of tales can be the most poignant and meaningful. It is claimed that Ernest Hemingway once wrote a six-word story that could make people for a cry for a bet. The wager was ten dollars, which Hemingway won with the following: "For Sale: Baby Shoes. Never worn." 
In 2006, Wired magazine followed Hemingway's example and asked sci-fi, fantasy and horror writers to come up with their own six word stories, here are a few of my favourites: 
Gown removed carelessly. Head, less so.
- Joss Whedon
Longed for him. Got him. Shit.
- Margaret Atwood
The baby’s blood type? Human, mostly.
- Orson Scott Card
Kirby had never eaten toes before.
- Kevin Smith
TIME MACHINE REACHES FUTURE!!! … nobody there …
- Harry Harrison
Heaven falls. Details at eleven.
- Robert Jordan
He read his obituary with confusion.
- Steven Meretzky
You just gotta love a good story, and even though some are clearly more interesting or insightful than others, none of them are not worth hearing. Who knows? The next person that you meet could have the most interesting tale in the world to share with you! So make sure you take some time to listen to the people around you...because they do want to tell you things! 

ONCE UPON A TIME IN HOLLYWOOD
Release Date: 2019
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 161 mins 
A crime/ drama and at times an exceptionally dark comedy, Once Upon a Time In Hollywood is Quentin Tarantino's brilliantly executed homage to the end of The Golden Age of Hollywood. With a massive ensemble cast and multiple storylines, this is a fairy tale retell of the days surrounding the brutal Sharon Tate murders by the Manson cult that occurred in 1969. Unlike other Tarantino movies, this film demonstrates more restraint around the levels of on screen graphic gore and violence...well...mostly, there are still some intense graphic scenes to experience here, but it is Tarantino and we have all come to expect some shock violence from his films. 
Fading Western television star Rick Dalton (Leonardo DiCaprio) and his best friend and stunt double Cliff Booth (Brad Pitt) encounter colourful and controversial characters as they try to maneuver Dalton out of Hollywood 'Has-Been' oblivion and back into the limelight with the help of spaghetti westerns and Hollywood opportunities. 
No late '60's stone goes unturned here, with everything from The Playboy Mansion and Roman Polanski  to Bruce Lee  and Charles Manson getting a look in. And it all mishmashes together into one terrifically enjoyable old pop culture tribute that I completely adored. I was riveted for the duration and grateful to see something so refreshingly new at the cinema again. 
DiCaprio and Pitt are not only on their A game but they are having a lot of fun with this already witty script. The cast is absolutely massive; Tarantino has again used Zoe Bell and Kurt Russell well, but has also added some fresh new faces to his cast list with notable performances from Margot Robbie as Sharon Tate, Lena Dunham as Gypsy, Dakota Fanning as Squeaky Fromme, Bruce Dern as George Spahn and stealing some hard to grab attention from everyone else was newcomer Julia Butters playing the wise western star child Trudi. 
This is not my favourite Tarantino offering, but I cannot deny that it is one of his best, and it is definitely the best thing that I have seen at the cinema so far this year. 
FINAL SAY: It's official, old buddy. I'm a has-been.
4.5 Chilli Peppers ​

I have this little daily inspirations magnet on my fridge at home. Everyday you tear off a page to get a dose of daily zen and sometimes the messages that I get really speak to me and even set me up for a day of happy, positive thinking with their inspirational quotes and ideas. Today when I tore off the little sheet of paper I saw this:
                              Neither seek nor avoid, take what comes.
                                            SWAMI VIVEKANANDA
Now I am all about living in the moment, which is pretty much my personal mantra, but neither seek nor avoid? Come on, that's extreme! I am all for counting your blessings and finding bliss in what you have, but I don't think that we should just settle. Life, the world, everything around us is in constant movement, if we just stop seeking and avoiding, we will more than likely just stand still and nothing will progress. Seeking is what makes us hungry, it's what makes us discover and invent, it's what changes us and motivates us. Sometimes not seeking a better option or looking around for new ideas is really just demonstrative of a lack of motivation, and that's definitely not a virtue in my books. How are you supposed to grow if you are not supposed to seek? That's called marinating my friends, and it's not ideal. And how does a person just stop being curious anyway? It's human nature to be curious, and I don't think that it is 'unzen' to want to look around sometimes. 
And what about not avoiding? I have even bigger issues with that one. Obviously one should always avoid a head on collision with a truck or getting an addiction to crack, and I am aware that the Swami wasn't being that literal when he said 'don't avoid', but there are a lot of other things that one should avoid in life in that it would be just plain stupid not to. Like avoiding unnecessary conflict, harsh words, arguments and being involved in any kind of shitty talk about other people. Also it's definitely a good idea to avoid being rude, ignorant, racist, sexist, insensitive...shall I go on? If you just go into everything in the world blindly or without a care for anyone else because you're on the 'neither seek nor avoid, take what comes' life mantra, odds are you're just asking for trouble and trouble will find you, and then you'll just have to accept that too! If the human race didn't avoid sometimes, there would be constant war and unrest in the world, sometimes avoiding trouble or danger is not only smart it's extremely wise and necessary to getting along. 
I just cannot abide by Swami Vivekananda's questionably sage theory if I am being honest because I actually believe that in certain circumstances, taking what comes without question or without using your common sense is really stupid and will only lead to disaster. We are supposed to seek, we are supposed to learn from our mistakes and therefore avoid what we know is disastrous, and we are not meant to just blindly take whatever is dished out to us, because we all deserve better than that. 
I am certainly no Swami, but if I was asked to give my version of the that inspirational quote to be put into a daily zen calendar it would probably say something a little more like this:
    Seek what you need to feel sated, avoid what is unnecessary and unkind,                                      and don't take anything too seriously or for granted. 
                                                         GURU SPICYWATCH 

SEVEN SAMURAI
Release Date: 1954
Rating: PG
Running Time: 207 mins
A Japanese action- adventure film co-written, edited and directed by Akira Kurosawa. Seven Samurai has truly stood the test of time and is still regarded as one of the most highly influential, remade, reworked and referenced films in cinema. I must admit that I felt completely bound to see this film because it kept turning up on so many people's must see lists, I knew that I must have been missing something important, and I was because this is an amazing period action movie, that deserves at least one viewing in everyone's life time. 
Set in 1586 during the Warring States Period of Japan, a village of local farmers hire seven ronin (masterless samurai) to combat a group of thieving bandits that have been ravaging their crops and terrorizing their families for years. 
Seven Samurai is not reliant on gore or effects to depict it's action scenes, there is a real sense of cavalry and style being used here that really enhances the overall effect of the film. As one of the only movies on Rotten Tomatoes to get a full 100% certified fresh rating, this film has just the right mix of everything to keep you interested and engaged, and at over three hours running time, that's really saying something! 
FINAL SAY: Danger always strikes when everything seems fine.
4.5 Chilli Peppers ​

You can take every precaution in the world, but no matter how well planned or prepared you may think you are, a head cold or some new strain of the flu will eventually track you down and smack you to the ground like a bad playground bully. Turns out that my health scare was just the flu, I say 'just the flu' very flippantly, but the alternative to that was far worse, so I am sticking to 'just the flu.' 
Of course, 'just the flu' has come with a plethora of discomfort and side effects that have today forced me to hide away from the world, not just for my benefit but also for everyone else's as well. Body aches, headaches, chest pains, severe joint pain, nausea, dizziness, a persistent dry hacking cough and the all so lovely night sweats have all made an appearance over the past five days and I have been left feeling drained, impatient, over-tired and frayed around the edges in ways that I have not felt for a very long time, and do not wish to feel again in a very long time. 
It is always the last couple of weeks of the Winter school term that really brings the 'shove over' for me every year. In fact, according to my journal entries, every year for the last 8 years in  a row I have had some kind of head cold or flu in the month of June. Thankfully, none of them have required anything more than a couple of days of rest, but still it would appear that 'tis the season for me to feel gross, wear out and generally feel like a slice of shit toast every year. 
In light of that, perhaps in the future June would be a fortuitous time for me to take a trip each year to Bahamas in order to escape the dark recesses of Winter and the dreaded lurgy that hunts me down and pounces on me at the same time every year. However, I doubt that my employer would share my enthusiasm for an annual winter retreat, so that idea will probably need to wait until I am retired. 
I swear that bears have the right idea when it comes to seasonal self adjustment though. Gorge yourself stupid on all of the deliciousness of an Autumnal harvest, find a comfy place to hide and sleep out the dead of Winter and then pop back into the world when the Spring blooms are just peaking their heads out of the soil. Sounds terrific to me!
I have always found the human need to maintain the status quo during the winter months both ridiculous and counter productive, because let's be honest we all need more rest in the winter time. It's darker, colder and completely uninviting outdoors most of the time. You just want to eat way too much comfort food for your trousers to manage! And getting out of bed in the mornings is often an impossible and monumentally unpleasant task. The writing is on the wall isn't it really? Let's make the months of June, July and August four day working weeks. Everyone gets an extra day off a week to be like a bear and roll about in bed, binge on Netflix and eat stoggy goodies! Hooray, Winter woes solved! Everyone gets more rest time, less cold exposure and a day to play every week. I think that I would actually look forward to Winter a lot more if that was going to happen every year.
And I honestly believe that my brilliant idea would mean that less people would get really sick as well. I mean you would have less exposure to other people and therefore less exposure to other people's germs, you would also be more rested and better fed therefore making you generally more resilient as well and you would be feeling a lot more job satisfaction because the work to life ratio would be more agreeable. We really do need to take a leaf out of the books of the hibernating and migrating creatures of the world because the animals clearly have their shit sorted out a lot better than we do. I'm pretty sure bears don't have to ring in sick or contend with hacking coughs all night during the winter do they? 

It always takes something serious to happen to your health to jump start you into action. Nothing like a surprise health scare to really force an unwelcome re-evaluation of your current physical status. Only days ago I was wandering about in blissful oblivion of my own physical shortcomings, and now I am suddenly reflecting with a terrifying and hyper critical eye about how I have really 'let myself go' and how I have probably rained all of this down on myself anyway.
I find that whenever something goes wrong with me physically I immediately thrust myself into this ridiculously harsh and deeply damning zone that forces me to take hard, cold stock of my physical make-up and my body flaws. It is not a friendly or self loving place to be, trust me, it's horrible.
Suddenly, I start to see every minor physical imperfection as a glaringly horrible obstacle that stands before my ability to thrive.  I begin to rapidly hate the failings of my body as I scrutinize every inch of my aging physique and every major health choice that I have made in the past, desperately searching for a logical reason for my body to fail me. I eat well, I take care of myself, I have a fulfilling lifestyle, I get adequate rest, I exercise...why is this happening to me? 
But the truth is, that sometimes bodies just fail. Even really healthy, sexy, slim and young ones fail, and it has nothing to do with years of abuse or sabotage, sometimes it is just the genetic hand that we are dealt that determines how things will play out and there is little or nothing that we can do about it. 
As you get older, you do start to notice that things on your body don't...how can I put this? Operate as well as they used to. Things start to head south rapidly and you find that you have new aches and pains that you never used to have. Weird ones, ones that just appear like unwanted hair in the wrong places or liver spots on the backs of your hands, but more annoying and sometimes more alarming than that. I personally find these annoying new arrivals extremely hard to analyse, because it is so damn difficult to decide if I should worry about them and consider any of them serious, or if I should just ignore them as normal signs of aging. No-one tells you, so you don't know for sure. And at my age, you still feel way too young to have any serious health complications so you generally dismiss all of the unwelcomed weird stuff as nothing, but this may not always be the wisest thing to do. 
Ignoring any health complications, no matter how small they may seem, is definitely not a smart thing to do. And having those honest and scrutinizing assessments with yourself, although uncomfortable, are also at times completely necessary. I wish that I was bulletproof, but I am not, I am human, which sometimes makes me fallible and fragile and susceptible to illness and disease. And as much as I really don't like going to see the GP, I think that a professionals opinion may be important for me right now.
There really is nothing like a health scare to boot your thinking back to those things that you hold in the highest esteem in your life, and how much you would hate to jeopardise your chances of making the most of your time. It is unfortunate that we as humans aren't made a little more resilient than we are, but perhaps it is our fragility that make us all the more precious and special, and also so utterly worth fighting to preserve.  

Spicywatch.com has just turned 5, hip hip hooray Spicywatch! Apart from my family and friends, I don't think that I have poured this much of my spare time and energy consistently into anything before, and for as long as I can remember, I don't feel like I have loved or enjoyed pouring my spare time into anything as much as I have loved sharing Spicywatch with all of you wonderful readers. 
Watching and reviewing movies is not just a hobby for me anymore, it is an important part of my life now. For five years I have shared my thoughts, my opinions and my passion for cinema with you all, and so far I have managed to review 790 movies that I honestly believe are worthy of your time and effort to view. I look forward to one day having 1,000 movies on my Spicywatch genre lists that are worthy of your time, but it will take me quite a few more years to get that far. 
Last nights celebrations were focused on the Best Music Moments in Cinema, which is a broad topic, but extremely fun one to investigate. Musicals were most welcome, but not mandatory, and as it turned out, there are actually a huge number of movies that have very significant and memorable music scenes in them that are actually completely non-musical movies. 
My wonderful and supportive friends and family gathered in Enfield to share a drink and their cinematic loves with me; and we laughed, sang and got our groove on to some of the most unexpected (but mostly excellent) musical moments that we could find.
And here is the extensive list of best music moments in cinema (from every genre) as chosen by my nearest and dearest, that made it to the Spicywatch 5th Birthday celebration screening in my living room last night:
Baby Driver (Bellbottoms) 
Pulp Fiction (You Never Can Tell) 
Beetlejuice (Banana Boat Song) 
The Skeleton Twins (Nothings Gonna Stop Us Now) 
Ferris Bueller's Day Off (Twist and Shout) 
Coraline (Garden Scene composed by Peter Corrigan) 
Pretty in Pink (If You Leave) 
The Perks of Being  a Wallflower (Heroes) 
Napoleon Dynamite (Canned Heat) 
Little Miss Sunshine (Super Freak)
Straight Outta Compton (Boyz N Da Hood) 
The Blues Brothers (Shake Your Tail Feather) 
Two Hands (These Days) 
American Psycho (Hip to be Square) 
The Lion King (Circle of Life) 
The Secret Life of Walter Mitty (Space Oddity) 
The Hunt for the Wilderpeople (Ricky's Birthday Song) 
Guardians of the Galaxy (Mr Blue Sky) 
Moulin Rouge (Come What May) 
Mean Girls (Jingle Bell Rock) 
Trainspotting (Lust for Life) 
Sound of Music (Edelweiss) 
Reservoir Dogs (Stuck in the Middle) 
O Brother Where Art Thou? (I Am a Man of Constant Sorrow)
Risky Business (Old Time Rock and Roll) 
Easy A (A Pocketful of Sunshine) 
The Mask (Cuban Pete)
Nacho Libre (Encarnacion) 
Hedwig and the Angry Inch (Origins of Love) 
The Big Lebowski (Just Dropped In) 
Pitch Perfect (Riff off) 
Purple Rain (Title Track) 
Love Actually (Jump) 
Bridesmaids (Hold on) 
Little Fish (Flame Trees) 
Slumdog Millionaire (Jai Ho)
Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (Anything Goes) 
Singing in the Rain (Title track)
And one of my all time favourites: Mulholland Drive (Llorando/ Crying) 

Today was National Superhero Day, a day that was actually created by Marvel Comics employees in 1995 to observe and honour superheroes around the world, both real and fictional. It seemed only fitting that in order to celebrate the event that I should go and see the much anticipated Avengers: Endgame movie at the cinema. However, to be fair I probably would've gone to see it this weekend anyway. With over three hours of enthralling, entertaining and emotionally heart wrenching viewing, I managed to spend my entire Sunday afternoon immersed in the world of superheroes, which was no only very fitting but also intensely enjoyable for a geek like me. 
Ever since Christopher Nolan picked up the script for Batman and booted up The Dark Knight trilogy, the world of cinematic superheroes has gone into overdrive, with Marvel, DC and Dark Horse Comics grinding out a multitude of superhero movies that are just as enjoyable for adults as they are for younger generations. Everyone has a favourite superhero, and seeing your favourite immortalized on the big screen is a something that seems to dazzle audiences of all ages, and provides a level of immersion and escapism that most people will line up for hours to experience. 
Today the cinema was absolutely packed to rafters, and even though the movie had opened days ago, the tickets were sold out well in advance and the lines to be seated streamed out into the street. I saw entire families (dads, mums and their children of various ages) all eagerly chatting about their favourite superhero experiences so far as they excitedly anticipated the outcome of the movie. I saw little kids dressed up as Spiderman and Ironman riding high on the shoulders of their fathers that looked just as happy to be there as their children. I heard middle aged women praising the female archetypes in superheroes movies of recent years, commenting on how great they were as role models for their daughters. And I heard the audience clap, cheer, moan in disbelief and even gently sob in the dark over their favourite superheroes as the film transpired. And what I learned from all of this is that the world loves superheroes. They just bloody love them entirely. 
They love them when they win, but they also love them when they fail because their failings make them more human and accessible. They love the idea of their superhero getting up, over and over and over again, regardless of how high the chips may be stacked against them, because it gives them hope to rise up against the odds themselves in real life scenarios. They love the spirit of a superhero because is it enduring and noble and we all admire those qualities and look up to them, no matter how old we are or who we are.
And we all have our favourite superheroes. We choose our favourites based on their abilities, their skill set and maybe we even choose who our favourites are based on who we aspire to be more like, or who may have shared a similar life experience to our own. Whatever the reason, it is clear to me that people love superheroes and they love to go and see them on the big screen. I know I do, I was seriously looking forward to seeing the final Avengers instalment today, and what can I say? Well, it certainly did not disappoint that's for sure! 

International Women's Day always gets me thinking about how far we have come, and also how far we still have to go, when it comes to female equality and empowerment. It is true that as a society we have made good progress for women when it comes to supporting collective actions, investigating constitutional and legal reforms, generating buzz around social and economic practises and spearheading positive changes around norms within the workplace, and we really do need to celebrate those achievements. However, and I don't want to come off as negative in saying this, but let's not kid ourselves about the fact that we still have a really long a way to go before women can truly feel empowered and equal in our current society. 
Whether we want to admit it or not, the truth is that women are still not considered equal to men financially, emotionally or in the workplace. When it comes to raising collateral, cracking big deals or convincing investors to get on board with ideas, women entrepreneurs are half as likely to succeed over a man, even if they are actually more qualified and adept at their jobs. And in a recent anonymous business study, men in positions of high power or leadership still believed that many women were too emotional, temperamental or unreliable to hold down positions of power in business.  
Why, in this day and age are these ridiculous and archaic stereotypes still being perpetuated? And more to the point, what can we do to stop this type of discrimination and sexism from continuing? Well, there are actually very simple and effective ways that you can be supporting women in the world and creating change and mindset growth around what women can do just by the way that you speak and what you tolerate being said about women around you. 
Firstly, watch your words! Language is powerful and it can easily enforce a belief or concept without you even meaning it to. Avoid referring to women in derogatory terms (even if you are just joking) and correct others who do it in discussions with you. Any words that reinforce the stereotype that women are weak, not powerful and not in control of their own lives is doing all women harm. Always speak about women in uplifting language and never use words that imply that they are less capable than men. 
Female empowerment begins at home. So empower all of the women around you, including you daughters, your mother, your female relations, your girlfriends and your female work colleagues by supporting them, complimenting them and congratulating them on their achievements. Speak respectfully to every woman that you meet, the more empowered that a woman feels, the more likely that she is to take on new challenges and improve her station in life. Female confidence is the key to empowerment and even the most skeptical and sexist of men are more likely to pay attention if a woman comes across as self assured and self empowered. 
If you really want to empower women then be a positive role model yourself. You know the old "be the change that you wish to see in the world" quote, well if you want to empower women than be more empowered yourself. Make strong, informed and confident choices in your own life and demonstrate strength of mind, conviction and determination in the things that you do.
Mentor younger women to be more empowered by assisting them to develop their skill set and teaching them to speak up against discrimination, sexism and inequality in non-aggressive and powerful ways. The younger that you are, the easier that it is to learn new beliefs and adopt new ideas, so don't just coach young women, coach young men as well and teach them to respect and value women as much as men in every capacity of life. 
And most importantly, accept yourself and other women as well. Every woman that you meet is going to be different from you. Whether it is a different lifestyle, culture, religious background, political outlook or physical appearance, it doesn't matter - it is completely irrelevant. What you do all have in common is that you all identify as female, and knowing that you are all more alike than unlike is an empowering thing to know. Empowerment and acceptance are one and the same, and learning to accept yourself as a part of something bigger than yourself will help you to see the power and potential in all women.
Forget about trying to be perfect, youthful or skinny and invest your energy into being brave, strong and wise. Attitude is infectious and a positive, inclusive and empowering outlook will rub off on other people, so just start in small ways and you'll soon start to set an example for other women to follow. Remember, men have been propping up other men for centuries now and that has lead to them having a position of power in the world over women. As women, we know that we don't need to stoop to being oppressive to men to feel empowered, but we do want to be treated equally and recognized for our worth, and that we deserve no less than that.
So change your mindset and go out and start singing your praises to the wonderful women of this world by celebrating your own worth and becoming a part of the female empowerment movement that is going to set young females up for a brighter and more equal future in years to come. You go girl!

As you get older you realise that the only way to maintain all of the important things in your life and make the most of the time that you have, is to create good habits. Creating good habits takes time and energy, and sometimes money as well depending on what you are wanting to achieve, but if it is a better life that you are seeking, then good habits are what you need to cultivate. However, in order to make room for these good habits, you have to cull some bad habits first. You have to cleanse your life of that which no longer serves you. So let's take a look at what I believe are the top five bad habits that many people have that are holding them back from living better and happier lives. 
1. Wasting Money
Our society is designed to rob you of your hard earned money, don't let that happen. Do not let yourself waste money and time buying things that you don't need or replacing things that you already have that still meet your needs. You do not really need the latest phone, pair of shoes or gym membership to a gym that you have no intention of going to. Make wise choices with your money, consider the options before you purchase anything and always ask yourself 'do I really need this?' before you tap that card. Treat your earnings with respect, you give up a lot of your personal time for them. 
2. Complaining
No one ever became a better person because they could find problems or point out the shit they don't like. Whinging is petty, dull and non-productive. Try to look for solutions to problems and always try to find the positive in everything you encounter, you will not only be more likeable, you'll also waste less time. 
3. People Pleasing
Everyone wants to feel loved and appreciated, but let's be honest, it is impossible to make everyone happy all of the time. So forget what everyone else expects or wants from you and focus on what you want to gain out of life. If spending time with certain people makes you feel ill, then just don't do it. If your boss is killing you with unreasonable demands, then tell them so. Putting personal boundaries in place will not only save you a lot of time and anxiety, but it will more than likely also gain you respect from others. Generally, people do prefer it when others are up front and honest about where their limitations sit and what they will and won't tolerate, so be transparent and don't worry about the haters. 
4. Wasting Time
So many people are shithouse at time management. If procrastination, disorganisation and over sleeping are wasting your life away then you need to get that shit sorted ASAP! Learn to be disciplined about how you spend your time and how much time you will allow yourself to waste doing mundane and unproductive things like checking social media, watching TV or surfing the internet. Leave work at work and focus efficient systems and earlier morning alarms to get the most out your time. 
5. Eating Poorly
Skipping breakfast, eating on the run and settling on toast for dinner is no way to treat your body. Your body has to last you a very long time, and if you continue to stick insufficient and low value crap into it, it is going to fail you. Three nutritionally balanced meals a day are vital to your overall well being, and you deserve nothing short of that. Where you can, eat communally because shared meals create conversation which is also great for you and try to prepare most of your food yourself. Shop for your own food, care about the quality of the food that you eat and find out where it has come from and where it was sourced. Food and water are a privilege and you should value them highly and respect your body by feeding it regularly with quality products, in turn your body will thank you by looking better, being stronger and giving you more energy to exercise and soldier on if you do happen to fall ill. 

Okay so, in my mind those are the top 5 nasty habits that hold people back from having more good habits and rituals in their lives. If you can get those 5 bad habits sorted out then you can incorporate more of the good stuff into your life and begin to live a more abundant and fulfilling lifestyle. But more on that next time.....

There is nothing like the turning over of a New Year to reinvigorate the spirits and to get you thinking about how far you've come and where you'd like to be going for the next twelve months. I used to be completely bonkers about setting myself huge goals at the beginning of each new year, I used to be the resolution queen once upon a time. I spent hours and hours stupidly exhausting myself trying to maintain new year's resolutions and 'upgrade' myself.  I have since wised up and discovered that the turning over of the calendar from the 31st of December to January 1st has little or no reflection on how your year is going to play out and whether you will or won't achieve your set goals. Real change requires effort of a more consistent and repetitive nature than just flogging yourself silly for a few months, real change can take much, much longer than a calendar year could ever provide. 
What I have found, through a process of diligent goal setting and also wild abandon of all goal setting and letting the wind blow me where it may in a devil may care type of fashion, is that if you want something bad enough you don't need to set yourself a resolution to do it, you will just do it. If it matters to you, if you can make it a priority, then you will make it happen.
Just like those people in your life that don't see you for a long time and use the pathetic excuse 'that they were just too busy' to get around to catching up (which is quite frankly a load of horseshit) because everyone is busy and that excuse is just ridiculous! If you really want to see someone then you will make it a priority and you will see them. And the same goes for any other goals that you set for yourself in life, if it matters enough to you, then  you will make it a priority, and I guarantee that if can do that, then you will make it happen.
You do not need to write it on a calendar or drunkenly shout it off a balcony at midnight on news years eve to make it happen, in fact those flimsy pledges rarely go anywhere anyway.  If you can make something a non-negotiable aspect of your life, then you will see your goals come to fruition. 
​And that, I believe, is the key to all of life's successes. Consistent, continual, conscientious prioritising is what you need to make your goals a reality. Making new year's resolutions and dreamy promises to yourself does not get shit done, but committing to making your goals non-negotiable and essential in your everyday life does. Trust me, it's true, you cannot go halfway on your dreams and life goals, but you also do not have to make everything happen in a twelve month time bracket either.
The reason that so many people fail when it comes to resolutions and personal goals is because they didn't want it bad enough in the first place and/or they wanted it too soon. Every major goal that I have achieved in my life has taken me years to attain, and has generally required a fair amount of upkeep to sustain as well. The good stuff takes work, there are no shortcuts. In order to make changes in your life for the better, you are required to commit and persevere, even when you want to quit, you have to persist and be 100% non-negotiable to meet that goal. 
In January of 2015 my new years resolution goals were:

• Finish all of the reviews on my blog (I had 310 backlogged movies to review at that point)
• Do half an hour of exercise a day
• Drink more water
• Meditate twice a week
• Plan a get together once a month (with friends or family)

I set those goals for myself four years ago and I think that I have only just met them now, but again, I still have to work hard to maintain them. And there were also other major changes that I made to my life along the way to meeting those goals that I didn't write down or pledge to the world, I just made them a priority and was fiercely uncompromising with my efforts to achieve them.
I managed to quit smoking, started performing daily yoga and meditation practices, learnt to read and write Braille, maintained my daily journaling and also maintained my Spicywatch reviews and blog entries, and trust me when I tell you that sometimes, these things are hard to maintain. I too get busy, and  I want to cut corners and stop doing as much, but they are my life goals, they are things that I have made a priority in my life because I want to have a richer fuller life experience, and I will not compromise on my goals.
Real change takes time, a lot of time and a lot of consistent and continual effort. Unfortunately, personal upgrading is not just a flippant news year's resolution thing, it's a lot of hard work but it is also completely satisfying to set your sights on a better version of yourself and then achieve it. There is really no better feeling (apart from giving love and being loved) that I know of. So, yes, do set out to meet your life goals and push yourself forward, but do it realistically, knowing that it is going to take a lot of your time, effort and persistence to achieve and that what you set in motion in 2019 may not be your reality until 2025, and that that is okay as well....slow and steady wins the race my friends, so take your time and enjoy the ride! 

That time has rolled around again, the time for me to collate all of my viewing efforts and put forward my recommendations for the best viewing choices of 2018. As I have mentioned before, quality television really dominated my time this year and I gave more 5 Chilli Pepper ratings to TV series than I gave to movies this year. To be honest, overall I do feel that the quality of movies this year was not as strong as it was in 2017, and I feel like I watched a lot more mediocre movies than I did last year as well, but sometimes that happens. 
In total I viewed 253 movies in 2018 and 133 TV series (some of which had several seasons). I have watched programs across every genre, and I can honestly say that there were excellent offerings in all of those genres in both movies and television. This year I am not going to list my least favorite viewings for 2018 because I have made myself a new years resolution to be more positive and to not focus on the negative things, so to list the worst things I saw in 2018 would be counterproductive to that resolution. Besides, as I have said before, even if I didn't love it, doesn't mean that someone else won't or that it is rubbish. At the end of the day, even the movies that we don't really enjoy have required a lot of time, money and effort to be produced; to shit on someone else's dream or vision is a pretty lousy thing to do, so I am choosing not to go there. 
I hope that you find something on these lists that you have not seen yet and can hopefully now explore. For full reviews of all of the recommended movies below, just go to the appropriate genre tab at the top of the page.
So without any further ado, here are my TOP MOVIE CHOICES (2018 release):  

• ROMA - Foreign 4.5 Chilli Peppers
• Hereditary - Horror 4.5 Chilli Peppers 
• Beautiful Boy - Drama 4.5 Chilli Peppers 
• Isle of Dogs - Kid Friendly 4.5 Chilli Peppers
• BlacKkKlannsman  - Drama 4 Chilli Peppers 
• A Star in Born - Romance 4 Chilli Peppers 
• The Tale - Gritty 4 Chilli Peppers 
• Paddington 2 - Kid Friendly 4 Chilli Peppers 
• Avengers: Infinity War -  Super 4 Chilli Peppers 
• The Ballad of Buster Scruggs - Art House 4 Chilli Peppers 
• Upgrade - Science Fiction/ Action 4 Chilli Peppers  
• John Leguizamo: Latin History for Morons - Documentary 4 Chilli Peppers 

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

• A Quiet Place - Sci-Fi/ Horror 3.5 Chilli Peppers
• Annihilation - Sci-Fi 3.5 Chilli Peppers
• Black Panther - Super 3.5 Chilli Peppers
• Ready Player One - Fantasy 3.5 Chilli Peppers
• The Breaker Upperers - Comedy 3.5 Chilli Peppers
• Searching - Crime 3.5 Chilli Peppers
• Game Night - Comedy 3.5 Chilli Peppers
• Love, Simon - Romance 3.5 Chilli Peppers
• Bohemian Rhapsody - Drama 3.5 Chilli Peppers
• Blockers - Comedy 3.5 Chilli Peppers

Here are my top recommendations for pre- 2018 releases that I didn't see until 2018: 

• Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri - Drama 5 Chilli Peppers (Hall of Fame)
• Bright Star - Romance 4.5 Chilli Peppers
• Wind River - Drama 4 Chilli Peppers
• Good Time - Drama 4 Chilli Peppers 
• The Shape of Water - Fantasy 4 Chilli Peppers 
• Coco - Kid Friendly 4 Chilli Peppers 
• Mudbound - Drama 4 Chilli Peppers
• Call Me by Your Name  - Romance 4 Chilli Peppers 
• Ingrid Goes West - Drama 4 Chilli Peppers 
• Beasts of No Nation - Gritty 4 Chilli Peppers 
• The Tunnel - Foreign 4 Chilli Peppers 

BEST TELEVISION SERIES of 2018: 

• Master of None S2 - Comedy/ Drama 5 Chilli Peppers 
• One Strange Rock - Documentary 5 Chilli Peppers
• Atlanta S2 - Drama 5 Chilli Peppers
• Sharp Objects - Crime 5 Chilli Peppers
• Patrick Melrose - Drama 5 Chilli Peppers
• Kidding - Drama 4.5 Chilli Peppers
• Who is America? - Comedy/ Documentary 4.5 Chilli Peppers
• Here and Now - Drama 4.5 Chilli Peppers
• Maniac - Sci-Fi 4.5 Chilli Peppers
• Lemony Snicket's a Series of Unfortunate Events S2 - Fantasy/ Kid Friendly 4.5 Chilli Peppers 
• Mosaic - Crime 4 Chilli Peppers
• The End of the Fucking World S1 - Crime 4 Chilli Peppers
• Dirk Gently S2 - Fantasy 4 Chilli Peppers
• Barry S1 - Crime/ Drama 4 Chilli Peppers
• AHS - Apocalypse - Horror 4 Chilli Peppers
• Mr Inbetween - Crime 4 Chilli Peppers
• Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat - Documentary 4 Chilli Peppers
• Just Another Immigrant - Comedy  4 Chilli Peppers
• Mr Mercedes S1 - Crime  4 Chilli Peppers
• Wanderlust - Drama  4 Chilli Peppers
• The Miracle - Foreign  4 Chilli Peppers
• Anne with an E S2 - Drama 4 Chilli Peppers

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

• Britannia S1 - Fantasy 3.5 Chilli Peppers 
• Ash vs Evil Dead S3 - Horror/ Comedy 3.5 Chilli Peppers 
• Swedish Dicks S2 - Comedy/ Crime 3.5 Chilli Peppers 
• Future Man - Sci-Fi/Comedy 3.5 Chilli Peppers 
• GLOW S2 - Drama 3.5 Chilli Peppers 
• The Detectorists S2 - Comedy/ Drama 3.5 Chilli Peppers 
• Sabrina the Teenage Witch - Horror 3.5 Chilli Peppers 
• Wellington Paranormal - Horror/Comedy 3.5 Chilli Peppers 
• The Kominsky Method - Drama/ Comedy 3.5 Chilli Peppers 

So many people have asked me if I think that a remake can be better than an original version of a movie, and my answer is always the same: 'Yes! Of course it can!' With movie technology continually improving, we can now enjoy advanced CGI effects and superior sound and visual experiences, which in short means that we can have a more immersive cinematic experience than we ever could have had before. However, that does not necessarily make the original version redundant or of lesser value and importance, because if I was also asked if remakes were always better the original versions, I would most definitely answer 'Hell No!' 
To this day I still watch a lot of classic movies, and by classic I mean movies from the 1930's to the 1970's. Movies from that time period didn't have a lot of options in the effects and sound department compared to today's standards, so they are often movies that relied on excellent acting and directing to deliver their stories. I have a stockpile of movies on my 'still need to see' list (which seems to be ever expanding and absolutely endless) and around 70% of them would fall into the classic film category. Most of them are very good, some of them are downright legendary and could not be improved upon by a remake, but some of them certainly could. 
To be better than the original movie, there needs to be an improvement on all fronts, and not just in the effects department, because if the storyline is thin then my attention is never held for very long by CGI effects and all of the other bells and whistles that filmmakers feel compelled to throw at movies. For me, there needs to be something fresh about a remake that warrants the movie being remade in the first place. The perspective needs to alter in some way or the story has to become enhanced or given more depth or meaning in a remake. The actors need to be every bit as good and preferably better than the original actors and the director needs to be an avid fan of the original in a way that forces them to keep the integrity of the original intact, in other words it needs to not feel like a director's ego trip, which has happened so many times in remakes. 
There have in fact been heaps of excellent remakes that are deserving of your time, even if you have seen and enjoyed the original version. 
Here is my list of the best movie remakes that I have experienced, in no particular order:
Romeo and Juliet -Baz Luhrmann perfectly remixed this Shakespearean classic by installing a couple of modern heart-throbs and infusing it with a funky fresh soundtrack, and it is slice of pure brilliance. 
Mad Max: Fury Road - I also really liked the original, but the heart-pounding, high octane, adrenaline rush action of the remake was just so damn good, oh and Tom Hardy was in it, definitely a bonus. 
The Jungle Book - Jon Favreau's version of this Rudyard Kipling's classic is a perfect example of how CGI can be used to enhance an experience. It is magical!
Dawn of the Dead - This comedy/ horror homage to George A. Romero from Zack Snyder is a brain eating spectacular, so much blood and tasteless humour! 
Blair Witch - I didn't really like The Blair Witch Project original, but I really got creeped out by the 2016 remake that was simply called Blair Witch. Kept me away from camping for years!
A Star is Born - remade four times, and finally they got it right! The onscreen chemistry  of Coops and Gaga and the modern musical score made this new take an old romance a real winner. 
Ghostbusters - The girls had a swing at it in 2016 and were every bit as good as the boys were in 1984, and they didn't try to 'remake' it so much as have another go at something similar and I enjoyed it a lot. 
The Ring - The 1998 Japanese version was still really good, but the 2002 Gore Verbinski English language remake had an expanded storyline and some extra creepy CGI visuals. The acting was seriously stepped up in this version as well. 
Bram Stoker's Dracula - Dracula has been done to death (pardon the pun) but when Francis Ford Coppola had a go, well it was just magic, finally something Stoker would've loved!
IT - Probably the best horror remake of all time, the effects and storyline have been fine tuned to perfection, unmissable remake material. 
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory -Tim Burton takes us on a delicious and disturbing romp into Willy Wonka's chocolate factory in this accurate realisation of Roald Dahl's classic tale that his own family were involved in creating.
King Kong - Peter Jackson's epic realisation of Skull Island and the tragic tale of Mighty Kong is by far the best version to see for all of it's impressive CGI effects and in depth story telling. 

I am officially on school holidays! I started a little earlier than everyone else because my son needs to have some serious dental work done later today, so I am a couple of days in advance of all of the other staff at school that are still in it for the long haul; and even though I may be nursing a rather sore and sorry teenager for the next couple of days, I am certainly thankful for the early respite. 
I know that I say this every time that the school holidays roll around, but school staff really do earn every minute of holidays that they get each term, and a winter term is always a tough one to get through, for both the staff and students. So a little frolick time in the warming spring air is just what the doctor ordered and I am really looking forward to hitting the garden, the easel, the couch, the yoga mat, the cinema and probably the whiskey bottle as well if I am being really honest about it. With 18 work free days ahead of me, the possibilities are endless and I will be taking full advantage of balancing out my rest, relaxation and realignment time with getting some 'need to do' tasks ticked off my list as well. 
The yard is looking positively swampish out here at the moment, weeds are protruding from every garden bed, some plants droop sadly after the ravages of the heavy winter frosts and the driveway is starting to look more like a lawn than a gravel track, which means that it's weed spraying time! I actually quite enjoy being in the garden and I find gardening tasks more than tolerable especially when they are teamed with a decent podcast and a spot of sunshine. I can easily spend a few days in the sun pottering about in the yard and not feel like I have done any chores at all, and the results are always more than worth the time that you spend making them happen. 
I was more than pleased to see that my vegetable patch has self seeded a lot of spring vegetables without any assistance from me, so a bit of weeding and a few extra pots of vegetables from the nursery should put that all back in order again. In fact there is already a very healthy speckling of rhubarb, beetroot, spring onion, chard, leek, kale, parsley, kohlrabi, oregano, spinach and even a couple of heads of lettuce that have flourished without much effort from me at all. I haven't even been out there in over eight weeks, so I was pretty surprised to see so much action when I checked it the other day. It truly is amazing what a bit of sunshine, rain and some warm spring air can do to a garden...and to the soul. 
I am certainly finding myself in high spirits at the moment, not just with the holiday situation but also with my TM practices. I have been meditating for at least 20 minutes a day over the past 10 days now and I have been feeling a lot more at ease as a result of that. Transcendental Meditation actually requires two twenty minute sessions a day, but with the half an hour of yoga and half an hour of walking that I already do every day, it is just too much to squeeze in. Perhaps over the break I will be able to increase my meditation time further, but when I am working it is a challenge to make everything fit. However, one of the biggest benefits that I have noticed so far with TM has been my increased energy levels and lack of tiredness. I rise around 5.40am and go to bed around 11pm and I sleep so restfully and always wake feeling totally rejuvenated, often before my alarm even goes off now!
And, on top of my regular daily routine which (aside from my paid work) always includes yoga, walking, journaling, meditation, braille practice, meal preparation, cleaning and household chores, I have also (in the last 10 days) entertained two dinners (with three courses that I cooked from scratch), gone out for dinner with friends four times, gone to the movies, attended a work PD, had a coffee date with a friend and kept up with my blog and the all of the TV series that I am watching at the moment. PHEWWW! It's been hectic, but I don't feel worn out at all, in fact I feel like I have more energy than I have ever had. Is that possible? Is it all psychosomatic? Am I convincing myself that TM is making my life richer or does it really work? Hard to say just yet, but safe to say that I am going to be continuing with my practice at this point, and let's just see where it all takes me.

Movies that are based on games....hmmm.....not exactly the most successful movie genre and for a good reason really, because most of them are absolutely shithouse. Time and time again movie makers have attempted to recreate the magic of a quality game experience and interpret it into an engaging movie, and time and time again they have failed dismally. 
Why do games adapted into movies fail so often? Simply because games put you into a first person experience; a complete immersion into a full blown sensory experience. No movie, no matter how awesome it is, can offer the same level of immersion that a game can. There is a reason that people can wander around in the open play landscapes of a game for hours on end, and it is not just because the graphics are awesome. It's because they are in control of the environment and the events that play out, in a movie the only one in control is the director and half the time they are working with a pretty thin storyline. 
Games do not require multi layered or deeply intelligent storylines, and I mean no respect to gamers by saying that. But it is true, most gamers prefer a simple storyline, if they wanted something deeper they would be watching movies and not gaming. Gamers want to solve puzzles, navigate landscapes and basically level up, sure some storyline is required so that players can engage with their characters and the situation or problem within the game, but it doesn't need to be excessively complex or convoluted. More weapons and power ups and less of the jibber jabber is generally appreciated by a lot of gamers. Therefore, when a film studio picks up on a game that is hugely popular and then attempts to interpret it into an epic blockbuster it fails dismally, because most games aren't designed for storyline or character development, which are essential components in any decent movie. 
Quite often, hit movies are re-interpreted into games with some level of success, especially children's movies which require less storyline overall in game play mode. Those Lego games are so damn entertaining and I have wasted days of my life playing those, and every successful Disney movie ever made has spawned a game off the back of it's box office success, from Toy Story to The Pirates of Caribbean, there have been so many. Also children's movies with a fantasy or magical element to them transition seamlessly to a first player gaming model; Harry Potter and LOTR games are great examples of that. It seems that going from a movie to a game is a much better formula overall than going from a game to  a movie.
Have there actually been any good game to movie interpretations? A couple were okay, and I do say that generously, but they are pretty damn thin on the ground. Generally they are unwatchable shit but I am hoping that someday soon a director will hit the right formula and prove to everyone that the gaming genre can be interpreted well. 
Here is my list of the best game to movie adaptations, but as I said...it's thin on the ground and it's a rather sad line up overall. 
1. Silent Hill - hardly brilliant material, but for fans of horror it's a worthy watch, just so that you know who Pyramid Head and those weird arse nurses are. 3 Chilli Peppers
2. Resident Evil - the first one was watchable and that's where the joy ends. 2.5 Chilli Peppers
3. Prince of Persia - it has a very buff Jake Gyllenhaal in it, for that reason alone it is worth a look. 2 Chilli Peppers
4. Warcraft- I know that I slept through most of this film, but I also know that they tried really hard to make this watchable, so kudos for that. 1.5 Chilli Peppers
5. Tomb Raider - They just keep on coming, and they aren't getting any better. Marginally tolerable material with lots of hot chicks, but shithouse storylines.  1 Chilli Pepper
6. Assassins Creed - it has Michael Fassbender in it, that immediately earned it a chilli pepper. 1 Chilli Pepper

When you work with children and hit the seven to eight week mark of the third term of the year, you have really hit that part of the year that tests your fortitude in so many ways. The weather relentlessly teases you with hints of the coming spring by supplying glorious afternoons where the sting of the sun can be languished in, only to slap you down again in the evenings with night temperatures plummeting below zero and freezing up the pipes and windscreens of everyone in town.
The children that you work with now know you well enough to exactly estimate where your line in the sand is in regards to behaviour tolerance,  and they will now also feel compelled to do their very best to see if they can nudge that line just one more inch across in their favour. It is also a time when, no matter where you may be working, the honeymoon is truly over. The rest and recharge from the last break that you had has completely worn off and been replaced with a dull sense of fatigue, repetition and lack of personal down time that forces you to work extra hard to maintain your sense of zen and not turn into a whinge or a tyrant. 
This is the time of the year when yoga, meditation, excellent whiskey and movie marathons become absolutely imperative to one's good health and wellbeing. A day of PJ's and couch time, lengthy sessions on Pinterest, long dinner dates with friends, hours hunched over sketchbooks, long hot bubble baths with saucy novels and endless cups of coffee are all necessary solutions to combat the negative effects of too many children over too many days. 
Self preservation of one's zen is absolutely key when it comes to the hard yards of the back end of a winter term. You have to find what it is that makes you feel happy and more resilient, and you have do that thing to death. Do it as often as you can and for as long as you can, whenever you get the chance to. Finding what makes you shine when you don't feel very shiny is so very important, because we all have days when we just want to punch stuff and get shouty, but it's not ever okay to do that; especially if you're working around children! So save yourself the bloody knuckles, the heartache and the worry and learn to stay zen, even when you really don't feel like it. 

Hollywood blockbuster movies have a way of making everything look glamorous, accessible and generally fun, even when they are actually promoting activities that are morally corrupt and/or highly illegal. There are literally countless films that glorify criminals for being absolute scumbags and we generally all buy into it, watching these movies and thinking how great life would be if we had the chance to be successful jewelry or car thieves, because it always looks so cool and even quite fun on the big screen. Think Baby Driver, Logan Lucky, Casino, American Ultra, Blow or Ocean's 8, I mean being bad never looked so good, right?
Movie producers are so damn good at glamorizing all kinds of seedy shit that they can just about fool anyone into thinking that anything (regardless of how genuinely unappealing it really is) is fun, fresh, interesting or even desirable. 
One movie in particular that people seem to really love (women especially) in spite of its clearly seedy message and utterly implausible outcomes (and I gotta say it really grinds my gears) is Pretty Woman with Julia Roberts. I absolutely despise that movie, it's my least favourite movie of all time by a long mile and I cannot tell you how many times some poor misguided woman has told me about how much they love that movie and how many times they have rewatched it because it is so romantic and blah...blah...blah... And then they always look so shocked when I give them my synopsis of the movie.
I like to point out that Julia Roberts basically plays a desperate whore in the movie Pretty Woman who took up prostitution because (apparently) she was shitty at everything else. She literally walks the streets with her crack whore best friend peddling sex for money to strange men. Richard Gere (her love interest) is obviously a dodgy as all fuck businessman that regularly picks up whores off the street, which is how he meets Roberts after he 'just happens' to be in the red light district and decides to give her a go. Gere decides to keep Roberts around to use for sex as he sees fit over the course of the next week (which he pays for in advance) after she gives him a clearly pretty good blowjob. Over the course of that week of paid sexworker employment, Roberts suffers from some unexplainable stockholm syndrome bullshit and decides that she loves Gere, which (apparently) has nothing do with his ridiculous stream of unending money that he likes to throw around. Her blowjobs are clearly insanely good, so Gere decides to keep Roberts on permanently, in a full time (without pay) sexworker capacity, and boom - it's happily ever after! And that is meant to be romantic? WTF? Worst movie EVER people, please stop watching this steaming shitpile and calling it good and/or romantic, it's toxic Hollywood bullshit! 
In fact, a lot of crime, war, action and yes, even romance movies actually do glamourize some pretty low brow stuff like organised crime, prostitution, theft, arms dealing, drug dealing, infidelity, harassment and misogyny and we often don't even bat an eye when we are watching it, in fact we like it, it looks dangerously cool. And I totally admit, I do like watching some pretty seedy shit, but you do have to draw the line somewhere.
So, if I ever, and I mean ever, start calling movies about prostitutes with stockholm syndrome deeply romantic, please do promptly slap me upside the head and tell me to shut the fuck up! 

OCEAN'S 8
Release Date: 2018
Rating: M
Running Time: 111 mins
A spin-off of Steven Soderbergh's Ocean's trilogy and proof that women can do heist comedies just as well as the men can. Ocean's 8  is directed by Gary Ross and written by Ross and Olivia Milch and offers viewers an easy 'feel good' ride with an entertaining all star cast.
Debbie Ocean, younger sister of the late Danny Ocean, gets paroled and plans a once in a lifetime heist that involves stealing a $150 million dollar Cartier necklace. To pull it all off, Debbie will require the assistance of a team of eight female criminals. 
​The cast in this is just dynamite and the onscreen chemistry of the lead actresses is what really carries this film. Sandra Bullock, Cate Blanchett, Anne Hathaway, Mindy Kaling, Sarah Paulson, Rihanna, Awkwafina and Helena Bonham Carter join forces perfectly as the eight criminal masterminds, and although the storyline fails to brings anything new to the table, I still thought that Ocean's 8 was a more than watchable 'chick flick' experience. 
FINAL SAY: You would've loved it. 
3 Chilli Peppers ​

Finally I am coming out of the fog of sickness and starting to feel a lot more like my old self again. My energy levels are rising, my positivity has returned and I am loving having enough energy to enjoy daily yoga and meditation practises all over again. With just over two weeks until the winter school holiday break this rise from the ashes has come at just the right moment and by the time the break kicks in I expect to be completely rejuvenated and primed for a terrific holiday.
Everything seems twenty times harder when you're not feeling very well and I had really forgotten just how bloody inconvenient illness is. Even the simplest of tasks can appear to be pretty insurmountable when your rocking around feeling like a crap sandwich; I seriously have a newfound respect for people that suffer from ongoing health complications, it is just so bloody awful being sick! 
It is pretty easy to take your health and wellbeing for granted, which I was clearly doing because I was completely bowled over by how ridiculously weak and exhausted I became over such a short amount of time. I went from having the constitution of a clydesdale horse to being as weak as a kitten over a few short weeks and it wasn't the most pleasant experience that I have ever had, I can tell you that.
I can't even recall another time in my life when I slept as much as I did in the last three weeks. I reckon I was giving grannies a run for their money with the amount of snoozing I was putting in. Never before have I spent every night after dinner on the couch, falling asleep with my head on Craig's lap by 8pm and having to get him to 'put me to bed' like I was an infant! What a sad-o! And then, to add insult to injury, I wasn't even able to get up in the morning at the other end because I still felt like I was tired. It was so crapola! I didn't do anything interesting or fun for days and days; just work, eat and sleep (and whine - I did a fair amount of that). What a sad existence it was! 
Well I am sure glad to be leaving all of that behind in the rear view mirror; and if that was a glimpse into what old age is going to be like, then I am NOT looking forward to it one bit! I think that it is important to build up your health and general wellbeing while you're still young enough to do it, because the prospect of sleeping away my latter years and mostly feeling lousy and weak does not appeal to me at all. If anything, this sickness has made me super determined to get my health into really good order, because I really don't want another serve of whatever it was that I have just had, or anything like it, ever again! 

Sometimes I need to be alone. Really alone. 
This need to be left alone is often mistaken for aloofness or rudeness, and I never mean for it to come off that way, but the unfortunate side effect of needing alone time is that sometimes it can make others feel like you don't want them around. 
The truth is that I really do want people around, I actually really enjoy company and crave human interaction.  And just like everyone else in the world I do get really lonely sometimes too, but if I am being 100% honest, that doesn't happen very often. More often than I would like to admit, I just want to be left the hell alone. Which sounds terrible when I say it like that, but it is true. I really need to be left alone sometimes, and alone can be very, very difficult to get. 
Sometimes when I need alone time, I really need alone time, and it can be quite difficult for me to get the alone time that I need and that will actually satisfy my need for aloneness. In my line of work, where I am around children all day (especially really small ones) I do find that I can get pretty depleted by the end of the day. I often try to retreat to a quiet corner of the house when I am in withdrawal mode, but find that I can rarely sustain the hiding for longer than half an hour before someone decides that they need me something and I am ferreted out of my hiding spot.
It is not good to be angry at the people you love for needing you, but sometimes it happens. Sometimes, enough is a bloody-nuff!  Go work it out yourself, cook your own dinner, stop asking me for things, leave me alone! I want to shout these things from the top of my lungs, but then I would just feel guilty about it so I don't. I face the strain and keep on smiling, even though my insides may be writhing with angry feelings and annoyance and my legs want to abscond. 
As an introvert, the need to be left alone can be exceptionally overwhelming, but as I said it can also make you look like such a total asshole. I often find myself daydreaming about entire weekends where no-one is around and I don't have to worry about anyone else's needs but my own, just a couple of days where the house is empty all day and night except for me. And I know that that is  a completely selfish and pretty dickish thing to desire, but when you have been bombarded by humans and their needs for as long as I have, sometimes you just long for no responsibility and no pressure and especially no new input. No new input, just the sound of it....it sounds like complete and utter bliss to me. 
However, I also know that I would probably only last 24 hours and then I would start to miss everyone and would wish them all back home again anyway, but every now and then I do secretly wish that they would all just sod off for a while and leave me the hell alone! 

Toothache really is in a realm all by itself. This week I had a pretty tough week, so tough that I let my entire routine go out of the window because I had to. I was in excruciating pain for days and even though the worst of it is over, I am still basically like a cantankerous bear with a splinter in it's paw. I didn't eat, didn't sleep longer than a two hour stretch, didn't do yoga or meditation, didn't practise any of my usual lessons or even (God forbid) complete a blog. What I did do, between my work hours was moan, groan and lay about on the couch drugged out of my mind watching bullshit TV and hating my life.
How did I get this way? Well let me tell you a little story about heartache and the loss of God....just kidding...it wasn't actually that bad. Let me tell you about the time that a dentist butchered me though....
On Saturday of last week I went to the dentist for my routine six month clean and scale. I didn't have any concerns about my teeth and I was in really good health. I was however seeing a dentist that I wouldn't usually see, which would turn out to be one of my worst errors in judgement ever. My usual dentist has a life of luxury and only works 4 days a week from 9am to 3pm, which renders him pretty much useless to the working class society, so I thought I would do the right thing and not take time off for a routine clean and scale that I would just go to another dentist at the same practise, after all it was for a 20 min check-up not a root canal.
Anyway, this new dentist, let's call him Dr Slaughter, had me in the chair for an hour. He x-rayed, poked about and gave me a very thorough deep clean, which at the time I thought, okay great, obviously I needed all that. And even though I didn't enjoy it, I figured that I must have needed the extra invasive cleaning and told myself that I was getting value for money. 
The first day after the cleaning I was fine, and the second I was mildly uncomfortable, but I have had periodontal work so a little oral discomfort is not foreign to me. By Tuesday, shit was getting real and I had started to take Panadol and Nurofen on two hourly rotations. Let me point out that I NEVER take cope dope, not ever, it has to be serious for me to even go there.
Anyway Tuesday night, no dinner and a little sleep - too much pain. Wednesday I had to travel to Melbourne for a work PD, almost 3 hours each way, that was a long day with a lot of pain, drugged myself with over-the-counter remedies to an illegal level and soldiered on. Picked at a couple of things, didn't sleep again and woke up to thumping, pounding, shooting pains and nausea on Thursday. After being so tired and so empty and so exhausted for so many days I finally crumbled. Tears and tears, I gave in and made an appointment to see the dentist, my usual dentist. 
After some inspection and another lot of x-rays, he confirmed that my teeth were excellent, but some of my gums were so inflamed that they were higher that my teeth in my mouth. Well, that explained the pain alright. Toothache, or in this case, deep gum pain is a special hell all of its own. I have not felt so worn down, unwell, exhausted or overwhelmed by pain since I was in labour over thirteen years ago. It was BAD, so bad. I even had another good cry at the dentist's office and he felt so sorry for me that he called me at home (after hours) the next day to check on me. 
So my teeth were fine, it was a gum problem. I had to be referred to a periodontal expert to have a look as well, but even he was confused because the x-rays looked good. After examining my swollen and agonisingly tender mouth he concurred with what my dentist had said and also believed that some type of bacteria had entered my mouth during or just after the cleaning process when my gums were open, and that Dr Slaughter had caused trauma to my gum area by being too invasive. Basically I had a secondary infection of a fierce kind, one that required strong antibiotics and even stronger pain killers, which my dentist happily prescribed to me. 
Being keen to get some pain relief I went in hard on the drugs, which did give me a most welcomed nights sleep, but did also cause me to violently chunder into the garden on Friday morning after I took too many of them and then tried to drink a coffee. Live and learn. I am a bit of a prescription drug lightweight, and when you never have them, they work really well. So this weekend I have basically been lying about half out of my skull on pain relief and doing as little as possible. The antibiotics are working beautifully and everyday I get a significant reduction in pain and discomfort, so hallelujah to that! 
The lesson in all of this is? Don't ever go to a strange dentist, just organise the time off and see your usual one. Well, that's my take away from all of that anyway. Make an appointment at the slightest hint of 'after' pain before you start to contemplate self-surgery like I was and most importantly don't let one butcher put you off of going to the dentist forever, which is going to be my biggest hurdle now. Honestly, the thought of a dental check up right just sends shivers of dread straight down my spine! 
Thank God for Marvel, who was delivering another delightful instalment of super this weekend, honestly the distraction couldn't have arrived at a better time, and what a mighty fine distraction is was!