Nothing makes me feel more proud of myself than the moments in my life when I turn out to be the bigger person in a situation. Notice that I said the bigger person there and not the better person? Being bigger does not make you better, but it does make you kinder and more tolerant, not only to others but especially to yourself. Being better can make you faster, smarter and stronger, but it does not always make you bigger, in fact sometimes those qualities can actually shrink your ability to be bigger in certain situations. 
So what exactly do I mean when I say the bigger person? Well, in my opinion the bigger person is someone who can admit to their own faults, forgive others for theirs and move on gracefully from difficult situations or occurrences. Being the bigger person is a totally tough call, because when we are the bigger person we not only have to own our own shit, but we also have to forgive others for their shit as well and somehow find a space to move forward. Being bigger is always great in theory, but when you have to actually demonstrate it, it's a whole other ball game. 
For one, you have to fight off your own ego to be a bigger person. No-one wants to hear the bad stuff about themselves, it sucks and having someone else point it out is just torture. Most of us are well aware of our short comings and the last thing that any of us want is for someone else to point it out to us, especially in a blunt way. Bigger people can shake off the negative comments, search them, separate the bullshit from the truth, interpret the meaning behind it all and take anything valuable on board as an opportunity to evolve. Your ego cannot come into play if you want to be the bigger person, you have to take it in, process it, trash the crap and thrash the lesson. Bottom line is, it's hard. 
A bigger person never lets their emotions sit in the drivers seat when it comes to difficult situations or conflict resolutions. Bigger people keep it real, they don't get personal or petty and they stick to the facts. By only mentioning the things that are truths and steering away from assumptions, you're always going to come out as the bigger person. It takes skill to keep your emotions in check, learning to let things slide off you like water off a ducks back takes years of focused effort to master. I always try to remember that knee jerk reactions are for small minded people. Anytime that I have employed reactive behaviours in stressful situations in the past there has been nothing but carnage and I have always come off looking stupid, intolerant or just plain bitchy, and no one wants to be seen in that light. 
When you are the bigger person in the room during high stress situations, well it is something to be proud of, because it's a tough gig. Keeping yourself in check, not taking things personally and knowing that you shouldn't take things personally are incredibly good life skills to have in your tool kit. Every time that you can take one on the chin, own your own crap and move forward in a dignified way is definitely a sign that you're becoming a gentler, kinder and more well rounded person, and that is definitely something to be proud of. 

​CARNAGE
Release Date: 2011
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 80 mins 
When two sets of parents meet in a Brooklyn apartment to discuss the fight that their eleven year old boys had in the park, things go from civilised to downright manic rapidly. 
Directed by Roman Polanski, this black-comedy is based on the Tony Award winning play God of Carnage by French playwright Yasmina Reza. A stellar cast that includes Jodie Foster, Kate Winslet, Christoph Waltz and John C. Reilly really bring together all of the ugliness and viciousness of couples with children, played out in real time. 
No stone is left unturned as these four adults go head to head with each other with increasing levels of ferocity; displaying more childish behaviours than the children that they are meant to be discussing. All is stripped bare in this interesting and at times hilarious character study. 
FINAL SAY: Keep on stroking your ego. It's beautiful. 
3 Chilli Peppers

Every year my beautiful children and I make the pilgrimage to Bendigo to attend Illumin8, The Festival of Peace and Light at The Great Stupa of Universal Compassion. This festival occurs on the fifth full moon of the year because that was the time of the year that the Buddha was born. It was also the time that he received his enlightenment and also the time that he passed away, so it is extremely auspicious and important to people of the Buddhist faith. However, the festival is extremely inclusive, so there are always many other faith cultures in attendance to celebrate the event, and non-Buddhists are always most welcome to attend. 
We just love it and we never miss a chance to go and join the festivities, and the line up of performers is always terrific. This year the evenings events kicked off with a live performance from a band called Dez, who came from Melbourne and delivered a pretty alternative set of music. They were followed by Taiko drummers, Hanagassa dancers and a Vietnamese dance group. The fabulous folk artist Grim Faulkner delivered some moving acoustic songs, then the Chinese Lions performed a dynamic dance that was followed by a saucy bevy of buxom beauties in a belly dancing troup.
The Welcome to Country was delivered by Dja Dja Wurrung just as the sun was setting and a full moon rose majestically in the sky above us. A stirring didgeridoo performance, some Tibetan chanting and an Islamic Prayer for Peace was delivered, which refocused and revered the massive crowd. The welcome speeches were delivered, the peace flags were raised and the celebrations kicked off again. 
Bollywood dancers and a performing arts group called SMACS brought lots of colour, movement and vibrancy to the stage and then Vern the fire dancer arrived in his purple glittery spandex and dazzled us all with his glittery beard and fire twirling gyrations. The evening ended with an animated  light show that is projected directly on to the white surface of The Great Stupa, a fireworks spectacular and then the burning of an effigy that  symbolizes the 'bad.' The 'bad' is filled with the notes and prayers of everyone in attendance, on that note you write down something that no longer serves you and that you wish to remove from your life, the burning of these notes works like a cleansing and offers a fresh start to everyone, it's a really nice way to end the entire event. 
Over four full hours of entertainment and the tickets were only $10 each, talk about incredible value for money, but the real reason that we attend Illumin8 every year is not just because of the incredible entertainment, it is also because of the amazing inclusiveness of the event. People from all walks of life and every persuasion are in attendance at this celebration and the vibe is just electric. I always leave feeling like I have been invigorated and re-energized. There is something so wonderful about seeing so much diversity in one place that is being embraced and celebrated in such a gentle and respectful way.
​Events like these are genuinely good for what ails you, they strengthen your faith in humanity, they offer you something completely new and they make you appreciate the amazing diversity and talent that we have in our country. Who doesn't more of those kinds of events their lives? 

​TOP END WEDDING
Release Date: 2019
Rating: M
Running Time: 113 mins 
An Australian romantic comedy directed by Wayne Blair and written by Joshua Tyler and Miranda Tapsell , who also stars in the lead female role. I don't think that there has been an Australian movie this honest and meaningful for quite some time and I really enjoyed it. Showcasing some of the most beautiful landscapes Australia has to offer and exploring the beautiful relationship that the indigenous people have with the land and each other, this is a deeply affecting and heart warming watch.
Lauren and Ned are in love and want to tie the knot. Lauren's boss has granted her a 10 day reprieve to have a wedding, but with Lauren's mother MIA somewhere in remote Northern Australia, a wild goose chase ensues as they try to track her down in time for the big event. 
This film took a while to warm up for me, at around the half hour mark I was extremely skeptical about whether I was going to even stay awake. However, the last half hour of the film delivers completely, tying everything up in a sweet and sensitive way that delivers with great respect for the people of Tiwi Island. 
FINAL SAY: Getting hitched down under. 
3.5 Chilli Peppers

Comedy is deeply subjective, it's just like art, music or literature. Everyone has their own taste when it comes to humour and what one person will find side splittingly hilarious, another person will find deeply offensive or utterly ridiculous. I mean nothing will divide a room quicker than a fart joke will it? However, everyone on the planet says that when it comes to meeting a prospective partner, that they are looking for someone with a good sense of humour. Well, that can be pretty tough to discern when humour is so subjective, because technically someone that every else finds bloody hilarious could potentially annoy the absolute crap out of you.
When it comes to humour there are actually nine different types of funny, and trust me when I tell you that some of these are not going to appeal to you at all, because hardly anyone like every type of humour. You will have experienced them all at one point or another, and you will instantly know which one's are your cup of tea as you read through the list.
1. Physical Humour: Also referred to as slapstick. This category covers every physical form of humour from clowns and mimes to funny faces and even people falling over and hurting themselves like they do in the Funniest Home Video franchise or Jackass.
2. Self Deprecating: Favoured among stand up comedians, this is when people make themselves the butt of the joke or put themselves down for a laugh. Memes are filled with this kind of humour.
3. Surreal: This stuff is weird and can appear to be totally illogical, nonsensical and absurd. Think Monty Python or The Mighty Boosh and you'll be in the right wheelhouse of humour. 
4. Improvisational: Who's Line is Anyway? comes to mind immediately here. It's people attempting to be funny on the spot by making it up as they go along. 
5. Wit-Wordplay: A play on words that involves changing language to create something witty and clever, eg. Did you hear about the Italian chef that died? He pasta away, his legacy became a pizza history.
6. Topical: Pop culture references, news and current events are manipulated and re-enacted to be satirically humorous. Saturday Night Live has been doing this well for a very long time.
7. Observational: Jerry Seinfeld made a fortune out of discussing just how funny the most mundane events, occurrences and moments can be.
8. Body Functions: Yep, it was bound to come up. Fart, poo, wee and spew jokes, they happen and kids (and big kids) love them.
9. Dark: Sometimes nasty in origin and the easiest of all humour types to offend or be misinterpreted for cruelty. Ricky Gervais has been in the hot seat many times for his dark humour style. 
Unsurprisingly, people with higher IQ's find physical and body function humour the least appealing and among 200 people polled on eHarmony, the most popular humour among singles appears to be physical humour and the least is dark humour. Older people find everything less funny across the board, which basically means that the older that you get the less laughs you have, which is a little concerning really. 
Personally, I love humour and comedy is one of my favourite genres. I like most types of humour but can live without bodily function jokes, but can also tolerate them in moderation as well; and I am not adverse to a dirty joke at all. I enjoy getting together to watch comedy with other people because a shared laugh is definitely my favourite kind of laugh, and I cannot deny that I do enjoy making other people laugh when the opportunity arises as well. Laughter is so damn good for the soul, so however you take your humour, make sure that you are getting enough of it in your life. 

​THE HUSTLE
Release Date: 2019
Rating: M
Running Time: 94 mins 
This female-centred remake of Dirty Rotten Scoundrels got an absolute smashing from critics, and I can see why, it's hardly a game changer. However, I did laugh out loud at the cinema when I saw this (on more than one occasion actually) and I did like the onscreen banter between Rebel Wilson and Anne Hathaway. So, if it is an easy, amusing and mostly silly comedy that you are looking for then I think that The Hustle ticks all of those boxes. 
Two female con artists, one a loud and obnoxious Australian and the other a refined and cunning British beauty decide to join forces to an attempt to fleece wealthy men of their money. 
Perhaps the world has already tired of Rebel Wilson's one note performances, but I haven't yet, and I actually thought that she was genuinely amusing as Penny the annoying and persistent con artist. Anne Hathaway gets to flounce about in lavish outfits looking divine and talking like Eliza Doolittle (which is mentioned during the movie), and the whole thing is one fast moving hot mess that for some reason I quite enjoyed. 
Don't let the critics deceive you, this is more than watchable stuff that you will get a laugh out of. 
FINAL SAY: Men underestimate us, so that is what we use.
3 Chilli Peppers

Mother's Day is the one day of the year that we get to celebrate and spend time with the women in our lives that mean the most to us. I had lunch with Craig's mother yesterday and today I traveled to Ararat to see my own mother, whom I have been cultivating a loving and genuine relationship with over the last couple of years. The way that my mother and I finally found our deeper connection with each other came about in the most unusual and painful of ways, but now I have a really terrific relationship with my mum and I am so glad that I have been able to get to know her so completely in her twilight years. 
Around two years ago, I had a really traumatic estrangement from my siblings. One of them, in an attempt to destroy my relationship with my parents, trawled my blog and printed out any posts that contained defamatory content about my mum and dad. They took those printed pages and gave them to my parents, which was not only deeply mean to me but downright cruel to my elderly parents who were very distressed by my writings. I had to own that some of the things that I had said in the past about my parents were unkind, unnecessary and unproductive to our relationship. 
I think that at that point in my life I was using my blog to process my feelings and pour out some of my confusions and misgivings about the people in my family. There was no way to take any of it back and all of the cards were left face up on the table, well for me they were anyway. However, just as the saying goes "the truth shall set you free" and in that exposure, there was a cleansing and with everything laid bare and stripped back, there was no room to hide away, it was time to have some honest and awkward conversations. 
I did not attempt to discuss what my siblings had said to me about my parents themselves in defense of my writings, I owned what I had written completely, the bottom line was that all of those comments had come from me and I had been mean. I promised that I wouldn't talk poorly about them again and that I would work hard to make everything up to them, if they would give me the chance to. My parents were really upset, for a very long time, not just with me but also with my siblings for their vicious behaviour and it has taken me two years to shake off the effects of my estrangement from my siblings and regain the trust of my parents again. 
I now proudly have a meaningful and profound relationship with my mother, one that is based on trust and honesty.  I am not the same person that I was two years ago, and I am no longer petty or consumed by the mistakes of the past. I do not want to go through my life not knowing my mother, understanding my mother, loving my mother and being there for my mother. Having a better relationship with my mum has allowed me to understand the choices that she has made in her own life, why she is the person that she is and just how much she needs and deserves to be loved.
I doubt that I will ever thank my siblings for wounding me as deeply as they did, because that is a wound that just doesn't seem to heal no matter how attentive I am to it, but I cannot deny that out of their hate I did manage to find a real love and respect for my parents that I may not have enjoyed if none of it had ever happened. I don't talk poorly about my parent anymore, I don't complain about my family dynamic to people and I don't spend my free time looking for problems where there are none. As a mother myself, I understand that a meaningful relationship with my own mother is one of the most valuable things that I can ever enjoy in this life, and I have that now and I love spending time with my mother.

​ATONEMENT
Release Date: 2007
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 123 mins 
A romance/war drama, based on Ian McEwan's popular 2001 novel of the same name. Director Joe Wright became the youngest director to open at the 64th Venice International Film Festival at the age of 35 with Atonement, and he enjoyed a lot of notoriety and attention for his saga that outlines a crime and it's consequences over six decades. 
Filled with jealousy and malice, young Briony Tallis (Saoirse Ronan) hatches a story to keep her older sister Cecilia (Keira Knightley) away from the an old family friend and army private named Robbie Turner(James McAvoy). Her deception changes the course of several lives and when war breaks out in Britain, it seems an impossibility that  the two lovers will ever reunite.
This is truly a tale of enduring love, immensely sad and overflowing with unrequited passions. The directing here is on point, the scenes are lush and grandiose, and the actors are so good that they practically outshine the script. I cannot deny that I enjoyed it, for a period romance it was up there for me, it had enough intrigue to keep me interested and there were plenty of beautiful things to look at as well, especially James McAvoy who looks amazing in this. 
FINAL SAY: I love you. I'll wait for you.
4 Chilli Peppers

Regardless of how amicable, nice, funny, mindful, considerate or generous you are in this life, you are eventually going to come against someone that you just don't like. It may be someone that you're related to, or someone that you work with or someone that has come into your life because they are associated with another person that you know, and you are not going to like this person. They are going to grind your gears and irritate you, they are going to annoy you and because they now exist in your life, you may not always have the choice to avoid them. And this is where you need to employ your best diplomacy and intelligence, and just get along. 
Easier said than done though right? It is pretty hard to get along with someone that really ruffles your feathers and generally gives you the shits, but there are ways to get along, even in the face of great adversity. 
The first thing that you need to accept is that you are not going to like everyone, and also not everyone is  going to like you and that's totally OK. So OK in fact, that's it's practically perfect. Yep, that's right I said practically perfect. We all know that we do our best growing during our darkest times, so the people that we butt up against actually force us to grow in ways that we may not even recognise at the time. I have learnt more about myself through the people that I haven't liked than the ones that I have adored, and that is a fact. I may not want to go and have a BBQ with the people that I don't like, but I can recognise that these annoying individuals are triggering a very real and unpleasant reaction in me, which probably needs further investigation. 
Sometimes the people that annoy me the most are really just people that have very different ideas, points of view or social boundaries to me, which means that we could never really be great friends anyway, but that doesn't mean that I need to treat them like crap, that would be stupid and illogical. Tolerating people that you really don't like very much is a skill that intelligent people have mastered, and I have found in the past  that unintelligent people usually create their own dramas and demise anyway, so there is no need to engage anyone that annoys you any more than is absolutely necessary. 
When dealing with people that you don't like, you absolutely must have a terrific poker face, a really good and convincing one. A face that you can wear over the top of gritted teeth or clenched fists that makes you appear to be calm, open and diplomatic. This is you having self control over your emotions, not stooping to anyone elses levels of behaviour or adopting anyone else's body language; in short you appear to be neutral and in control of yourself. Adopting a good poker face and calm exterior will allow you to gain the upper hand over people that you don't like every time. And if they don't like you, well at least they won't be able to say that you treated them poorly at any point in your exchanges. Mastering your emotional reactions will help you to manage difficult or unpleasant people, even if you only appear that way on the surface, it's always worth doing. 
Sometimes the people that I find most annoying turn out to be people that I have just expected too much from. Just because you have yourself in check, that doesn't mean other people have as well. Expecting people to do as you do, or behave as you behave is just asking for trouble and will only lead to frustration and disappointment. Next time someone gets up your nose, check in and see what it is that you are expecting from them, odds are that it's more than they have the ability to deliver, so adjust your expectations and you'll find that you may not dislike the person as much as you thought that you did. 
And when all else fails and you just cannot stand someone that you have to deal with regularly, then just take a deep breathe, give yourself some space from them as much as you can and take some time to address what it is about that person that is triggering you off so much. Is it an isolated comment? An ongoing action? A lifestyle choice? Or is it just the way that they make you feel? Have you yourself contributed to the bad blood that you have with this person? Is it fixable? Whatever the reason, really analyse whether this person is worth all of the anxiety, stress and energy that you are giving to them. If you think that they are, then you need to take steps to clear the air and move forward in your relationship with them, if you think that they're irrelevant, then just keep that poker face going and get on with things. And always remember that you do not have to get along with everyone and that it's totally OK to find some people as annoying as hell. 

I was getting ready for work the other day and a song from The Lost Boys soundtrack popped up on one of my Spotify playlists, and wow....what a blast from the past! I was instantly transported back to the 1980's, a time when I was an impressionable teenager who was coming of age and was easily obsessed with things of a pop culture nature (not much has changed there). And it was with a smile that I fondly reminisced the things that I had obsessed over at that time in my life. 
The Lost Boys movie was definitely one of those obsessions for me, I loved that film and had Lost Boys posters on the inside my wardrobe because I wasn't allowed to hang pictures up on my bedroom wall. I thought that it was the coolest movie that I had ever seen, probably because it was packed to the rafters with smoking hot teen boys, but I think that I also loved it because all of the characters in the movie seemed to have so many exciting things going on in their lives, and at that time in my life I didn't have a lot going at all, just an intense teenage yearning and a burning curiosity. 
'80's movies will always hold a very special place in my heart, because I was completely obsessed with them as a teenager. Horror, sci-fi, comedy and adventure movies were my favourite genres and I filled many of my bored teenage days with films that I devoutly watched over and over again on the VCR all by myself in the mostly unused and very cold 2nd lounge room of our house. It was there, huddled under a blanket that I spent many wintery weekends, watching and rewatching my favourite movies obsessively. I was almost able to recite some of those films line for line, and I know that that sounds really dorky, but you have to remember that this was a time before the internet and if you weren't running with the cool kids (which I wasn't) there wasn't exactly a lot to do with your time. Besides, a VCR was actually a pretty cool thing to have back then and having access to your own library of tapes was even better!
I was part of the MTV generation, so watching movies was a way to connect with my teenage awkwardness and also a way to vicariously generate some self discovery through the experiences of other teens on screen. It was clearly a time in my life that solidified my movie obsession and also started a genuine thirst within me for more cinematic experiences that would allow me to vicariously see the world through other people's eyes. However, no matter how many movies I watch in my life, I will always and forever have the softest spot for a good '80's teen flick.
Here is a list of my favourite teen movies (in no particular order) that I have seen way too many times for my own good, and even though some of them are not even 3 chilli peppers worthy of being on my genre lists, I cannot deny that I still have a soft spot for the nostalgia that they ignite in me whenever I watch them. 

• The Breakfast Club
• Sixteen Candles
• Ferris Bueller's Day Off
• Weird Science
• Better Off Dead
• Back to the Future
• The Goonies 
• One Crazy Summer
• Fright Night
• Stand by Me

and of course....The Lost Boys.