To much input....way too much input. 
I feel a lot like a manic clown at a weird circus trying to keep too many balls up in the air at the moment, it just feels like there is a shit load going on around me at the minute and I just want to go to bed and pull the doona over my head and wake in a weeks time when it is all over. 
Finished work on Friday, which was awesome, two weeks off, no complaints there. But I just have a billion things happening in the next week like Zoe's 18th and catching up with my sister in Melbourne before she leaves for Kabul, which are both bitter sweet events when you think about it, and there is also a lot of other things happening that are not any fun and are stressing me out.
Zoe becoming an adult is certainly a yin and yang of emotions for me, but the idea of her going for her license in four days time is freaking me out majorly. You would think that I was going for it myself because I'm so worried. And I keep overthinking everything to do with her special day, the cake, the dinner venue, the gifts...BLAHHHHHH. What's wrong with me? 
And meeting up in Melbourne with my sisters, definitely fun, but my sister is leaving for Afghanistan, seriously NOT fun! Seriously concerning actually, so I have some anxiety about that too. What do you say to someone that you're fare-welling to go to a place like that? "Well, I will catch you later, try not to get blown up or shot while you're there?"  Jesus Christ, what the fuck am I gonna say? 
I am just not thinking straight and have over booked myself to the hilt with numerous other obligatory commitments this week, like the nutter that I am, and now I am having some small palpitations about getting it to all come together without any major malfunctions or hiccups. Not a lot of room for error here. Pulling the doona over my head is not an option, but it is a desire. Deep breaths...be cool. 
Thought I'd distract myself from my mental state of mind and watch something to escape reality for a bit, boy oh boy, did I make a bad choice. 

JUPITER ASCENDING
Release Date: 2015
Rating: M 
Running Time: 127 mins 
If you should find yourself encountering this movie at any time in your life, run... run away very fast in the opposite direction. 
I can't even really tell you what it's about because I had to turn it off when I started to get a nose bleed from the brain aneuresym that I suffered because of it's fucking annoying story line and the unnecessary need for Channing Tatum to become inexplicably shirtless about an hour in. 
I know that it was super heavy on the CGI, super low on story quality and easily one of the worst Sci-Fi fantasies that I have ever encountered. 
FINAL SAY: Rancid crap! 
0 Chili Peppers

The end of the term is almost here and it can't come soon enough. The children are exhausted and evidently the staff are feeling the effects of the combined dreadful weather and eleven week haul to the finish line as well. I think that in some ways term two is the most difficult of them all, it is generally very long and the weather continues to get worse as the days pass. Meaning that the kids don't get outside as much and so they get toey, there seems to be a large contingency of illness floating around and people struggle to get up and get motivated. At least the other terms have more sunshine, and it is amazing what a little vitamin D can do to lift the spirits. The only spirits that I have been lifting lately is a bottle of Jamiesons. 
We had some sad news this week with Seth's beloved guinea pig Howard (aka Mull) succumbing to the Enfield winter and breathing his last. We have enjoyed three years of Howard singing away like a Mogwai for his breakfast and eating like a small dog, so it was quite sad to say farewell. Now I worry for Vince (aka Kintyre) his life long friend that has been left all alone and is clearly fretting for his fat little buddy. 
Seth was keen to send off Howard with a vikings burial. He had visions of sending him out on the water hole on a makeshift raft and then setting him on fire. Thankfully, I managed to talk him out of that, and we went for the more traditional option of a shoe box and a hole in the ground. So now Howard rests under the pines, forever looking out over the field of En and forever foraging in greener pastures. RIP Howard and farewell to you, our furry little friend. 

RATATOUILLE 
Release Date: 2007
Rating: G
Running Time: 111 mins
I just adored this Disney animation about a rat with a natural gift for cooking; the combination of the Parisian street-scapes and rat infested sewers make a very interesting setting for this tale about a rather unlikely foodie that followed his dreams against the odds. 
Remy the rat has aspirations of becoming a world class chef, much to the disgust of his kin. However, a twist of fate places Remy in the sewers below his culinary hero Auguste Gusteau's famous Parisian restaurant, and after a chance meeting with a bumbling Suez chef,  he finds a rather unorthodox way of making his dreams a reality.  
There is real sense of fun to this movie, the characters - both human and rodent, are a fabulous mix of flavours that will enchant children and amuse adults equally. Get yourself to France for a delicious sampling of Ratatouille as soon as soon as you can.
FINAL SAY: Anyone can cook. 
3.5 Chili Peppers

Ask and you shall receive, Weebly has fixed my blog issues so I am back to real time contact again, yay for that. The end of the week has brought the Mid-Winter Solstice along with it and an opportunity to get out of the house with a rather unseasonal display of sunshine. 
Kicked off my  weekend on Friday evening with a visit to Mitchell Harris Wine Bar for their Winter Solstice market. Had a bit of a peruse at the art and a couple of mulled wines and then mosied on to feast on some good African tucker before heading back to Enfield for butterscotch and gingerbread ice-cream and a great 80's classic movie, which I have reviewed below. Lovely evening, very tame, no hang overs - feeling good about that. 
Saturday was all work and no play, but unlike Jack Torrance at the Overlook Hotel I didn't freak out and run around in the snow with an axe trying to kill my family, I used my Winter quiet time wisely and thumped out my PMP reports and even managed to clean the house and grocery shop too; so very productive. 
We all got up reasonably early (for a Sunday) today and went to the market in town. It has been yonks since I have gone to the market, but I was suffering from a little cabin fever and had to get out. So we put on our beanies and scarves and we braved the frosty morning, returning with only a few pairs of new socks, some gloves and a belly full of churros. Not a total loss.
Getting busy with a Winter Solstice roast beast for dinner tonight, sorry little piggy - but its pork on the menu tonight with all of the trimmings and a couple of glasses of good red wine to wash it all down and celebrate the longest night of the year. Here's to some much brighter days ahead now that the darkest day is behind us. 

BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA
Release Date:  1986 
Rating: M
Running Time: 99 mins 
Okay, lets be clear about why this movie made the list, because I am pretty sure that anyone that has actually seen this is thinking, what the hell? Well, Big Trouble in Little China just has to be seen to be believed. It is jam packed with bad 80's effects, it has a completely implausible fantasy story line, it is rife with racial stereotypes and the fashions? Wow, truly unforgettable. Perhaps it should really go onto my comedy list, because this film is clearly not taking itself seriously at all, but all of the Chinatown magic and mystery lends itself to the fantasy genre. 
Jack Burton (Kurt Russell), truck driver of the aptly named 'pork-chop' express, finds himself entangled in a centuries old mystical battle in Chinatown when his friend's girlfriend 'Miao' is abducted. Apparently an evil sorcerer named Lo Pan needs a girl with jade coloured eyes to complete his mystical transformation, which leads Jack and his friends on an adventure into the magical underground of Chinatown in an attempt to rescue Miao. 
This movie is rife with martial arts, monsters, magic and mayhem, none of which are being done very well, but that's the great thing about this movie, it's strength lies in its ridiculousness. This is retro gold, plain and simple, watch it when you need a bit of stress relief. 
FINAL SAY: Chinese have a lot of hells. 
3 Chili Peppers

Seriously looks like I am blogging from the future, since Weebly is having a brain fart and none of the dates on my blog match real time, no matter what I do. I have let my website providers know about this, to which they replied, 'we are aware and we are trying to fix it'. Try harder I say, it makes me look like an incompetent dick when it appears that I can't even set the date of my blog to the right year, let alone the right month and day. 
But in truth, I am actually reaching out to you all from the future...and I have an important message for you all....twelve months from now you will be more disappointed about the things that you didn't do, than you will be excited about the things that you did do. Too grim? Okay, hows about....twelve months from now you will be overwhelmed by an urge to give Barb all of your money and worldly possessions. Too selfish? Something in the middle. 
Twelve months from now you will have seen this movie because it was recommended on a super cool blog from the future and you will concur, yes Barb, you were right, that movie was bloody awesome. 
Too egotistical? Too bad, just watch this movie, it is excellent - future blogger says so! 

CALVARY
Release Date: 2014
Rating: R 18+
Running Time: 102 mins
An Irish drama, written and directed by John Michael McDonagh, Calvary plays out a bit like a murder-mystery, in a very high brow way. Full of intense beauty, dark humour and extreme ugliness, I found myself captivated and repulsed by the intensely unlikable characters and the magical Irish landscapes. 
Father James (Brendan Gleeson) is a good and grounded catholic priest in a small coastal Irish town. One of the members of the parish anonymously comes to confession to warn Father James that due to the abuse that he suffered as a child at the hands of the church, he plans to seek his revenge by killing the priest in just over a weeks time. Father James has his suspicions about who is planning to kill him, but the struggles of the rest of his community and his family continue to draw all of his attentions away from the real problem at hand. 
Brendan Gleeson is tremendously good as Father James, portraying a priest with an insurmountable amount of challenges with good humour and genuine sensitivity. This is really profound and powerful viewing, and a fabulous ensemble cast brings it all home perfectly making Calvary a fabulous slice of drama and intrigue.  
FINAL SAY: It's just that you have no integrity. And that's the worst thing that I could say about anybody. 
4 Chili Peppers 

So I have now had my Spicywatch website for a full year. I have managed to commit to blogging twice a week and have completed over 300 reviews so far, and as far as I can tell about 60 odd people find my writing tolerable enough to return. A big thank you to the people that do take the time to read my rants and support my blog, I greatly appreciate your following, it has really kept me on track and motivated to continue to complete my review lists, which I only have six months left until I will meet the completion dead line that I have set for myself! 
Anyway, being me and always looking for an opportunity to get people together in the name of movies, I had a gathering last night to celebrate Spicywatch's first birthday. It really is amazing how movies can bring people together, whether you've seen ten movies or ten thousand, there are going to be films that just stick with you. 
Last night one of the prerequisites of the evening was to share your favourite movie scene, thankfully no-one had any Pretty Woman or Titanic moments, but we did get everything from Pulp Fiction  to Bad Grandpa in the mix. Everyone was clearly looking for a laugh so most clips were funny or musical in nature, perhaps the strangest of them all was Helen's call back to the 1980's BMX movie RAD, almost better than Bob Fossil and David Hasselhoff put together. 
It was a very funny evening, I have a corking hangover to prove that and I have been so unproductive today that I actually feel a bit guilty, just a little bit. 
It was all worth it in the name of Spicywatch! 

RESERVOIR DOGS
Release Date: 1992
Rating: R 18+
Running Time: 99 mins 
Quentin Tarantino's first feature length movie and the beginning of his long relationship with gore based action movies. Reservoir Dogs first premiered at The Sundance Film Festival in 1992 and fastly became the festivals most talked about movie, it was subsequently picked up for distribution by Miramax Films. It has since gone on to be recognised as one of the most successful independent films of all time. 
A group of thieves assemble to perform a well orchestrated diamond heist. However, things go sour during the heist when it becomes apparent that one of the group is an informant. The men rapidly begin to turn on each other in an attempt to weed out the informant. 
A stellar all star cast and a kick arse soundtrack really add meat to the bones of this film, and although it is a violently unnerving movie that many people have walked out of due to its graphic content, it does exactly what Tarantino set out for it do, which is to have an affect on its audience. 
FINAL SAY: For all I know, you're the rat!
3.5 Chili Peppers

Do you ever look back on your childhood and think, what the hell were my parents thinking?
I do, all the time. Parenting was obviously pretty laxy dazy back in the 70's and 80's because I recall doing whatever the heck I wanted a lot of the time as a kid. My siblings and I were out wandering the streets of the Western Suburbs of Melbourne, generally unwatched by adults and often up to no good, a lot of the time.
I recall getting into a lot of mischief as a kid, some of it downright dangerous when I think back on it. My parents were always at work early in the morning, so no-one was around and I used to cruise down to my mate Louise's house at like 7.30am. All the 'cool'  grade 6 girls would meet in the morning before school at Louise's because her parents never seemed to be home. Her parents also had any number of open packets of cigarettes laying about that we would all get stuck into. We would just sit around drinking coffee, smoking, making the odd crank call and watching music clips before school. I recall seeing Bruce Springsteen's Dancing in the Dark a million times. 
On occasion we would raid her older sister's room for porn, which back then was really just Cleo because it used to have a male centrefold back in the day. It was the first time that I saw a penis and I thought that it was hideous, I also thought that the men were generally pretty gross too, but I would still happily have a peek and giggle along with my friends. 
One time Louise and I stole a beer out of her dad's fridge and drank it down at the creek, it tasted like shit, but we were determined not to waste it. We were eating bananas and all kinds of crap to try and disguise the smell on our breath. It was the first beer that I ever drank. But interestingly enough, not the first time that I had drank. The first time I got drunk was in my nan's garage on peach coolers, again stolen, out of her fridge. I was about nine I think, and I was completely alone when I did it. I don't even know why I did it, and to this day I can't stand peach flavoured drinks. 
I sure did get into a lot of trouble during those 'un-watched' days when everyone seemed to be hanging out on the streets and no-one's parents were too phased about where they were during the daylight hours. The nights were a lot stricter in my household, but on occasion we would be allowed to stay out after dark in the Summer time. That was when my friends and I would have seances. We would make a Ouija board out of cut up bits of paper and sit around in the dark by candle light trying to commune with the dead. I don't recall ever really getting in touch with the dead, but we would all manage to frighten the shit out of ourselves, and we hadn't even seen the exorcist yet!  
Perhaps it is the antics of my childhood that has made me and my generation so hyper vigilant about knowing where our kids are 100% of the time. Or maybe kids just aren't venturing outside as much these days because now there are more satisfying things to do at home, like gaming and the internet. Why would you go to a friends house to chat when you can just do it online?
Does that mean that technology is saving our kids from doing all the dumb things? Or is it actually stopping them from having experiences that are important to social development? Who knows? But I am glad that neither of my kids was puffing away, swilling drinks or checking out dicks at a primary school age, so I'm going to have to go with vigilant parenting and technology all the way here. Sorry mum and dad, but when you weren't looking, I was just up to no good. 

JUNO 
Release Date: 2007 
Rating: M
Running Time: 96 mins 
Fast talking cutey Ellen Page makes her mark here in this bitter sweet tale about teenage pregnancy. Tastefully directed by Jason Reitman and written by Diablo Cody, Juno was filmed over the period of four seasons and received a standing ovation when it premiered at the Toronto International Film Festival in 2007. 
16 year old Juno (Ellen Page) discovers she is pregnant after only one sexual experience with her somewhat awkward teen best friend Bleeker (Michael Cera). After weighing up the pros and cons of abortion, Juno decides to give birth and place the child into the care of an adoptive couple that she locates through a Penny-saver personal ad. Juno plans to continue her education, befriend her child's new parents and get on with her life, but can it all really be that straight forward?
This is a wonderful story about teens having to make adult decisions, about the pitfalls of huge life choices and about the way that people raise each other up and also tear each other down. Excellent support roles are filled by Jennifer Garner and Jason Bateman as the potential adopters and Allison Janney and J.K Simmons as Juno's supportive parents. There is certainly a lot to ponder here and you will definitely get a lot out of this touching teen story.
FINAL SAY: It started with a chair. 
4 Chili Peppers

It is fair to say that I am always glad to still be living under the monarch rule when the long weekend rolls out for the Queen's birthday. A long weekend in Winter and during an arduous eleven week term is truly a God send. I think that everyone needs to recharge their batteries at the moment; things have gotten pretty wacky at work, everyone at home has been testy and I am feeling a bit darker than I would like to admit. 
The recent spat of cold weather and even colder attitudes has taken its toll and I believe that I will be dragging my sorry arse across the end of term finish line myself. It seems that I have the shit touch, opposed to the Midas touch, at the moment, and even when I feel like I am trying to make positive changes, I seem to be rubbing everyone up the wrong way. We all have times like this when our intentions are misread and our motivations muddled. A three day hiatus from thinking has been a blessing for me, I have been quite productive and have also had enough time to be quite lazy. 
I have invested hours in couch surfing, catching up on mindless and meaningful viewing. I have an immaculately groomed vegetable patch, all of my beds have been stripped, I have hit the kitchen in a hard way and cooked up a storm of edible goodies, I have drank enough coffee to sink a second Titanic, sketched and written in my journal, smoked enough cigarettes to shame the Marlboro cowboy, caught up with family and friends and I have even strained my back carting cut branches around our block.  But I have had a wonderful time doing it all and now I am dreading a return to work tomorrow. 
But such is life, all good things do eventually come to an end, but thanks for the long break Lizzy, hope your b'day was a blast! 

MAD MAX: FURY ROAD
Release Date: 2015
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 120 mins 
Being a fan of the original Mad Max movie, which I have already reviewed on my Sci-Fi list, I was keen to see the remake, also directed by George Miller. I realised after about twenty minutes in, that this version could not be placed on any other list but action. And what action it is! Full throttle, high octane, heart thumping, non-stop action every second of the way. 
In this version, we are still in a dystopian post apocalyptic landscape, where oil and water are highly sought after resources; but the need for healthy children and viable baby makers is equally as important. When tyrannical warlord Immortan Joe has his five beautiful wives stolen by the warrior Imperator Furiosa (Charlize Theron), he's out for blood. Max (Tom Hardy) a loner and former captive, forms an alliance with Furiosa and together they try to save the doomed brides and outrun Immortan and his army of crazies in a fortified War Rig across the barren and dangerous landscape. 
Theron and Hardy are fantastic together, relying heavily on their ability to act tough and ruthless, because this film is certainly not heavy on the dialogue. But who needs dialogue when you have that much action going on? If you are looking for something thrilling and easy to watch, look no further, the new Mad Max is a hell of a ride! 
FINAL SAY: Kaboom! 
4.5 Chili Peppers 

I have always loved old fashioned fairy tales and folklore stories. They are so full of moral conundrums, dark happenings  and quite often deeper insights that are so often lost on younger audiences. In particular I have always adored Alice in Wonderland and Little Red Riding Hood.
Alice in Wonderland is absolutely drenched in hidden meaning, the characters are crazy to the extreme and the story is as dark as it is hopeful. In particular I love the Mad Hatter character, he is such an unlikely friend choice and he has all of the best one liners that are speckled with philosophy and intrigue. I also adore any children's book that has an escape to a new and unknown world of fantasy, Wonderland being one of the most dangerous and exciting of those places. 
The attraction to Little Red Riding Hood stems from my love of the contrast of hard and soft things being thrown together. Innocent Little Red against the ultimate bad guy - The Big Bad Wolf. I'm pretty sure that all girls come up against some form of the big bad wolf in their real lives at some point, and the story has solid and valuable messages about trust, manipulation and vulnerability.  It is true that the depraved so often prey on the most beautifully naive things in this world. 
There have been so many adaptations of these stories onto the big screen, my two favourites are below, but in truth, I am a sucker for them all. I am a big kid at heart, and I am probably living out my own new age fairy tale most of the time by regularly escaping into the forest to outrun the wolves, and willingly falling down the rabbit hole every chance I get. 

FREEWAY
Release Date: 1996
Rating: R 18+
Running Time: 97 mins 
A dark and disturbing film loosely based on the fairy-tale Little Red Riding Hood, Freeway is a hard hitting satire with a fast pace and a lot of very deranged characters. 
Illiterate delinquent Vanessa (Reece Witherspoon)  is on the run after her mother is arrested, she is heading to her grandmothers house when she encounters Bob Wolverton (Kiefer Sutherland). Bob is a charming and hospitable man, who also happens to be a sadistic serial killer and pedophile. 
Just like the fairy tale, Vanessa with her red hair and confident attitude spends the duration of the movie trying to outwit Bob, the big bad wolf. There are a lot of deeply sinister behaviours being portrayed here, it's a gory, shocking and mostly unpleasant watch, but Witherspoon and Sutherland are both terrific, and if you can handle your fairy tales speckled with prostitution, drug use and sickos then you will get a lot out of it too. 
FINAL SAY: Look who got beaten with the ugly stick. 
3.5 Chili Peppers

ALICE IN WONDERLAND
Release Date: 2010
Rating: PG
Running Time: 108 mins 
Tim Burton drops us down the rabbit hole in this exciting and beautifully realised version of Lewis Carroll's classic novel Alice in Wonderland and its 1871 sequel Through the Looking Glass. This is Tim Burton's most successful film to date, taking out the Best Art Direction and Best Costuming awards at the 83rd Academy Awards, and becoming the nineteenth highest grossing film of all time.
Alice escapes marriage by plummeting down a hole after following a very odd white rabbit. She arrives in a surreal place called Underland that is filled with all manner of strange creatures and characters, soon realising that she is there to fulfill her destiny to over throw the evil Red Queen and defeat the terrifying Jabberwocky. 
Mia Wasikowska is the most delightful Alice to have ever graced the screen, Johnny Depp is an epic Mad Hatter and Helena Bonham Carter is fabulous as the bulbous headed Red Queen. I particularly loved Anne Hathaway's hysterical portrayal of the White Queen, I thought that she really stole the show. Overall, I was absolutely enchanted and swept away by this grand and magical fairy tale. 
FINAL SAY: You're entirely bonkers. But I'll tell you a secret, all the best people are. 
4 Chili Peppers