I went to see the much discussed and heatedly debated Joker movie on its opening day this week, not because I was caught up in all of the pre-movie controversy but rather because I genuinely had a desire to see it. I have seen every other DC comic movie offering and let's be honest, the preview of Joker looked amazing. For those of you that have somehow missed all of the pre-movie persecution of Joker, let me fill you in. 
This stand alone origin movie was shrouded in great concern because authorities felt that the film had the potential to unleash copycat violence and anarchy, particularly with fans of the previous anti-social media depictions of the Joker. And sure, after seeing it I can understand how it could make people that feel marginalised identify with the villain's plight, but I am not sure that will be enough to insight anarchy in the streets. The Joker has always been a character that embraces nihilism as a means of escaping his perceived cruel and unjust world, but if Jack Nicholson, Heath Ledger and Jared Leto didn't get the downtrodden lashing out, why should Joaquin Phoenix's portrayal be any different? 
Well, I cannot deny that when I went to see Joker and a man stood up at the front of the theatre at the beginning of the movie and shouted out to the audience- "We all live in this society" that my heart didn't leap into my throat recalling the mass shooting  that occured in America at an airing of Batman - The Dark Knight Rises in 2012, killing 12 people and injuring 70 others. Yep, all that pre-talk controversy did get to me and for a moment I did perceive potential danger and frightening social disorder. 
And I cannot argue that Joker is undeniably relentless with its portrayal of the beaten down underdog. There is literally no relief for poor Arthur Fleck (aka Joker) in this movie, he is the most insanely tragic character to grace our screens in a long while, and being a DC comic character, this film is going to reach a wide and greatly varied audience. And contrary to his title, he isn't very funny at all, he's actually extremely sad, socially inept and painfully awkward. He clearly has a range of anxieties, suffers from severe depression and evidently already has a mental disorder that is not being treated correctly. How can we not feel sorry for this invisible and pained character? This film is gut-wrenchingly upsetting and we eventually just accept his complete breakdown as an inevitable consequence of his conditions. There is nothing funny about that at all is there? 
However, this whole 'pushed to the end of my limits' character arc is not new or original, it has been done before. Martin Scorsese did it with Travis Bickle in Taxi Driver and Joel Schumacher did it with D-Fens in Falling Down and no-one took the streets and shot up the world to hell in support of those characters either. And maybe that's because all of these characters had lost their minds, they were not sane and they were not in control of themselves, and to assume that awake and intelligent audiences are going to become gun toting loons after seeing Joker is of course ridiculous, but we also cannot ignore that to some already abused and unstable viewers that the fantasy of becoming a hero to the powerless and abused, even if it means being feared, could be perceived as appealing. 
However, if we are going to start inciting DC comics as a call to action for unstable sympathisers than we would also need to address all of the other forms of nihilism that exist in the media and the music industry today in order to really explore the influence of villains in our current society. Let's be real, Joker isn't funny, but the ugly side of life isn't and it never will be. Will it make people rage against the machine? I honestly doubt it, but stranger things have happened, who knows? Maybe a Disney movie will trigger someone one day.
Mostly, I think that what people are afraid of in regards to this movie is the fact that they will indeed identify with the dreadful oppression of the downtrodden and mentally unwell; and the lack of resources that are made available to them, which is really highlighted by this film. Rather than making people grab their weapons, I would hope that this empathy would instead make them feel called to address what is going on in our society today for us to identify with this high level of neglect and what can be done for the marginalised and neglected in the form of prevention. Like I said, woke audiences will see this movie and its message in a very different way, and perhaps a more proactive way overall than anyone could have ever expected. 

JOKER
Release Date: 2019
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 121 mins 
A psychological thriller and a DC comics Joker origin story, this movie really divided audiences and critics alike with it's violent and often disturbing portrayal of mental illness. However, love it or hate it, this is one of the best performances of Joaquin Phoenix's already impressive repertoire and probably the best DC comic movie so far. Directed by Todd Phillips who co-wrote the screenplay with Scott Silver, Joker premiered at the 76th Venice International Film Festival where it won the Golden Lion award. 
Arthur Fleck, a clown for hire with a mental condition, lives with his aging mother in Gotham City. As the city collapses under crime, unemployment, and financial ruin, the Fleck family like so many others, fall onto hard and impoverish times. After a series of unfortunate and disempowering events occur, Arthur suffers a complete breakdown and begins a mental and physical transition, eventually transforming into the violent and deranged Joker of Gotham City. 
This is a chilling and plausible origin story that offers real depth and insight into the Joker character, as well as providing some new information about the Wayne family enterprise that Batman belongs to.
Phoenix delivers an Oscar worthy and completely engrossing performance as the Joker, which not only compliments the great work that Heath Ledger layed down years earlier in The Dark Knight, but adds yet another layer to this intriguing and genuinely disturbing character's tale. 
FINAL SAY: My mother always tells me to smile and put on a happy face. She told me I had a purpose: to bring laughter and joy to the world.
4 Chilli Peppers ​

Whenever I tell people that I have a website that is dedicated to reviewing movies they always ask me the same question - What's Your Favourite Movie of All Time? As a lover of movies, this is one of the hardest questions that I ever get asked because it is almost impossible to choose just one movie when I have seen and enjoyed so many.
There is a reason that I have a Hall of Fame page that is dedicated to movies that I gave 5 Chilli Peppers to, and that's because I find it so hard to compare movies from different genres against each other. If someone asks me what my favourite movie is, I usually respond with 'that depends on which genre you're talking about.'
If I could have the option of choosing a favourite in each genre, then I could definitely tell you my favourites without any trouble at all:
DRAMA: Manchester by the Sea
HORROR: Rosemary's Baby
SCIENCE FICTION: Interstellar
​WAR: Inglourious Basterds
SUPER: Avengers: Endgame
COMEDY: Snatch
CRIME/ACTION: No Country for Old Men
ART HOUSE: Youth
FOREIGN: The Great Beauty (La Grande Bellezza) 
FANTASY: The Lord of the Rings Trilogy
GRITTY: Melancholia
ROMANCE: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind 
KID FRIENDLY: Kubo and the Two Strings 

So why are these my favourite films when I have so many more listed on my Hall of Fame that are also 5 Chilli Peppers worthy? Well that's easy, these are the movies that I go back to time and time again and always enjoy them just as much as I did the first time that I watched them. All of them had an effect on me in one way or another and all of them left me pondering after I had seen them. I guess that I really don't have one favourite movie of all time, I actually have 13, which also happens to be my lucky number! 

Even the most secure people in the world need to be reassured from time to time, it's human to seek validation and it is not weak to admit that you require some reassured from time to time. I know that every now and then I like to be told that I'm doing okay, that I'm a good person and that I'm completely lovable, and when I don't receive any validation for a while, I start to listen to my persistent and annoying inner voice of self doubt, and then I start to stumble. 
I wasn't raised in a very validating home as a child. Behavioural expectations were high, imperfections were highlighted and opportunities to 'cut one down to size' were used as an everyday form of punishment and embarrassment. Unfortunately, these less than encouraging formative years have had a profound effect on who I have become as an adult, and as a consequence, I have had to severely escalated my efforts to break certain molds and cycles and find a sense of self assurance.
In the past, I have been rejected by my parents because they didn't like my behaviour, I have lost friends who thought that I wasn't worth the effort and my own siblings have all estranged me because they've perceived me to be unlovable and mean. As you would imagine, these things have had a massive effect on my life and have made me quite insecure. I have struggled all my life to feel accepted, comfortable and secure with who I am.
I have poured unknowable hours of my time into self help, self motivation and self care in an attempt to quench my need for acceptance and love, but sometimes you can only get the type of reassurance that you are really looking for from the people around you. There is no book, guide, meditation, fitness class, job or other external thing that can replace someone that you love telling you that they also love you and think that you're amazing. And that is a fact, we all need to feel like we are loved by someone and that we are perfect just the way that we are. It is not just reassuring, it's downright empowering to love and be loved in return, it's the best feeling in the world to know that there is someone on the planet that adores you in some way, shape or form for just being who you are. 
The bottom line is that none of us are completely self-sufficient, even though many of us pretend to be. However, the best thing that all of my self help attempts has taught me over the years is that the most insecure people in the world are those that cannot acknowledge their fears and insecurities, and that pretending to have it all together when you don't is not only stupid, it's also counterproductive to moving forward.  
So now, when I feel like I'm floundering, I just tell people. I spill out the stupid in my head and I say out loud - I need some reassurance. And it is totally okay to say that. No-one feels fabulous all of the time, and sometimes a simple word of reassurance from someone that you care about can be enough to get you back on track and fight off that self deprecating voice inside of you that can be doggedly determined to convince you otherwise.
No-one has to break out the accolades, send in the marching band or shroud me with words of praise in order to reassure me, a simple - I think you're important and I care about you is really all that it takes to reboot my system. But sometimes I need to hear it, and as corny and as silly as that may sound to admit, I just need to hear it. I'm human and sometimes I need some reassurance, and you know, I really don't think that there is anything wrong with admitting that. 

One of the things that I do enjoy most about a mid-winter break is the ability to catch up on some late night viewing and couch potato antics without any guilty feelings whatsoever. Not having to get up and go to work in the morning allows me to indulge in the pleasure of watching entire seasons of television programs and back to back movies, and honestly it is just heaven. With a good strong coffee in hand, a couple of fluffed up pillows and a cosy blanket, I have managed to wonderfully while away many of my holiday evenings in front of the idiot box and I am more than happy to share my joyful at home viewing highlights with you, should you also wish to indulge in some quality lounge room viewing. 

As far as television goes, there has been no shortage of high quality, engaging programming to get completely lost in this year. I have watched a tonne of television this year, more than I ever have before and a lot of it has been of a really high standard as well. The best that I have seen and would highly recommend so far this year are: (in no particular order) 
Escape at Dannemora (Stan) - dramatisation
Sally 4Ever (HBO - Foxtel) - comedy
After Life (Netflix) - comedy drama
Les Miserables (BBC - Foxtel) - period drama
Game of Thrones - S8 (HBO - Foxtel) - fantasy drama
American Gods S2 (Amazon Prime) - fantasy drama
What We Do in the Shadows (FX - Foxtel) - horror comedy 
This Country (Stan) - comedy mockumentary 
Forever (Amazon Prime) - fantasy drama
Killing Eve s2 (ABC iview) - crime drama
The Last O.G. S2 (Stan) - comedy 
The Let Down S2 (ABC iview) - comedy 
Bad Omens (Amazon Prime) - fantasy drama
Detectorists S3 (ABC iview)  - comedy 
Gentleman Jack (HBO - Foxtel) - period drama
Bridget & Eamon (Amazon Prime) - comedy 
Euphoria (HBO - Foxtel) - drama
Chernobyl (HBO - Foxtel) - dramatisation 
The Act: Dee Dee and Gypsy Rose (Hulu - Foxtel) - dramatisation 
Perpetual Grace (Stan) - art house 
Big Little Lies S2 (HBO - Foxtel) - drama
Stranger Things S3 (Netflix)  - science fiction

To be honest, quality movies to view at home have been a little thinner on the ground, but it is often quite hard for me to find things that I haven't already seen on streaming channels because I go to the movies so often. Seth and I have been trawling through a lot of classic horror, which SBS on demand has an excellent selection of, should you need to sate a yearning for retro horror like The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Halloween, Hellraiser or Scanners. Aside from that Amazon Prime has the largest B grade horror library that I have ever encountered, admittedly it is mostly shit, but you can find the odd retro gem in there as well like Night of the Living Dead, Carrie,  Zombieland and the Friday the 13th Series. 
However, without further ado, here is a list of the best movies that I have watched on the couch (not at the cinema) this year so far: (again listed in no particular order)
Film Stars Don't Die in Liverpool - Netflix (Romance) 
It's Actually a Funny Story - Netflix (Drama)
Suspiria - Amazon Prime (Horror) 
Hush - Netflix (Horror) 
Tully - Netflix (Drama)
The Poughkeepsie Tapes - Stan (Gritty) 
Observance - Amazon Prime (Horror)
American Animals - Foxtel (Crime) 
I am Mother - Netflix (Sci-Fi) 
Pin Cushion - SBS on demand (Gritty) 
Mandy - Foxtel (Horror) 
Full reviews of all of these films can be found on the corresponding genre lists in the drop down menu above if you're looking for more information.
Happy viewing my friends! 

The lure to all things Disney is not really that strong for me anymore. Sure, as a child I probably dreamt of going to Disneyland, what kid didn't? Back in the '80's it was pretty much the only theme park in existence and all of American kids that were on TV banging on about how amazing it was seemed pretty genuine to me, I too thought that it looked awesome, because let's face it; it was. I know that when I was growing up, Sunday nights was 'Disney on the telly night' and we would all gather around for our fill, it was something that I personally looked forward to every week. 
The Disney castle is an iconic image that has been a part of everyone's childhood, and that Disney theme music! Good Lord! I can literally hear it in my mind as I am writing this. Kids today even know what the Disney logo is, they probably see it in a slightly different way than I did as a kid, but the overall idea of it being a place of wonder and magic is still there for most kids to a certain degree I think. 
For me now however, Disneyland as a holiday destination does not entice anymore. What I thought of as possibly 'The Happiest Place on Earth' as a kid, now seems like a money making hell pit as an adult. Am I just getting too old? Maybe, and I don't want to come across like the Grinch here, but the prices to get into Disneyland seem crazy to me. And from what well travelled people that have been there have told me, the lines for the rides are ridiculous, the staff are exhausted, grumpy and underpaid and the entire place is extremely un-environmentally friendly and wasteful. Also, it's apparently overtaken with Marvel and Pixar merchandise now because it is far more lucrative.
However, to be fair it may have always had these problems, but as a kid you really don't care about any of that stuff, it's an awesome theme park and it's full of fun rides, that's all that kids are worrying about. Kids don't notice the sweaty creeps, the tired staff, the ridiculous prices tags on the plush toys or the fact that the castle is ironically not even made out of real bricks; that stuff is only visible to adult eyes. And maybe if I took my own kids to Disneyland when they were small and they got all caught up in the magic of it all, then that stuff wouldn't matter to me either, but as an adult with two older children, Disneyland to me now is just not very alluring.
However, in saying that, I cannot deny that I too am a cog in the Disney machine because I have definitely poured quite a lot of my own money into their franchise over the years. I have seen so many Disney movies it's crazy, probably all of them if the truth be told. I can even recall seeing my first Disney blockbuster on the big screen. It was the 1959 version of Sleeping Beauty which was being rebooted when I was in Grade 2 at primary school. I was absolutely terrified of Maleficent, I literally had nightmares for days, and since then I have gone to the movies to see dozens of Disney films, and loved them entirely.
So, perhaps the lure of going to Disneyland may have ebbed for me as an adult, but the lure of a good Disney flick certainly has not, because I indulged in one again just last night. Ah, Disney...you've got some strong magic at work there haven't you? The lure is actually much stronger than any of us realises if the truth be told. 

I was getting ready for work the other day and a song from The Lost Boys soundtrack popped up on one of my Spotify playlists, and wow....what a blast from the past! I was instantly transported back to the 1980's, a time when I was an impressionable teenager who was coming of age and was easily obsessed with things of a pop culture nature (not much has changed there). And it was with a smile that I fondly reminisced the things that I had obsessed over at that time in my life. 
The Lost Boys movie was definitely one of those obsessions for me, I loved that film and had Lost Boys posters on the inside my wardrobe because I wasn't allowed to hang pictures up on my bedroom wall. I thought that it was the coolest movie that I had ever seen, probably because it was packed to the rafters with smoking hot teen boys, but I think that I also loved it because all of the characters in the movie seemed to have so many exciting things going on in their lives, and at that time in my life I didn't have a lot going at all, just an intense teenage yearning and a burning curiosity. 
'80's movies will always hold a very special place in my heart, because I was completely obsessed with them as a teenager. Horror, sci-fi, comedy and adventure movies were my favourite genres and I filled many of my bored teenage days with films that I devoutly watched over and over again on the VCR all by myself in the mostly unused and very cold 2nd lounge room of our house. It was there, huddled under a blanket that I spent many wintery weekends, watching and rewatching my favourite movies obsessively. I was almost able to recite some of those films line for line, and I know that that sounds really dorky, but you have to remember that this was a time before the internet and if you weren't running with the cool kids (which I wasn't) there wasn't exactly a lot to do with your time. Besides, a VCR was actually a pretty cool thing to have back then and having access to your own library of tapes was even better!
I was part of the MTV generation, so watching movies was a way to connect with my teenage awkwardness and also a way to vicariously generate some self discovery through the experiences of other teens on screen. It was clearly a time in my life that solidified my movie obsession and also started a genuine thirst within me for more cinematic experiences that would allow me to vicariously see the world through other people's eyes. However, no matter how many movies I watch in my life, I will always and forever have the softest spot for a good '80's teen flick.
Here is a list of my favourite teen movies (in no particular order) that I have seen way too many times for my own good, and even though some of them are not even 3 chilli peppers worthy of being on my genre lists, I cannot deny that I still have a soft spot for the nostalgia that they ignite in me whenever I watch them. 

• The Breakfast Club
• Sixteen Candles
• Ferris Bueller's Day Off
• Weird Science
• Better Off Dead
• Back to the Future
• The Goonies 
• One Crazy Summer
• Fright Night
• Stand by Me

and of course....The Lost Boys.

I love going to the movies or sitting down to watch a film and finding a hidden gem. Sometimes I get the most delightfully unexpected surprise from a movie that I wasn't expecting it from, and I just love it when that happens, it really spins my tyres! And it really doesn't happen as often as I would like, a lot of the time when I leave a cinema or get off the couch after a movie I am left with a rather underwhelmed kind of a feeling or even worse, I start to contemplate the hours that I just wasted and will never get back again!
Life is way too short to waste reading bad books, watching poor movies and wasting your precious and valuable free time having mediocre experiences. Especially cinematic ones, after all that's why you have me! I've already found heaps of hidden gems for you, so you can just relax and enjoy the movies that I consider to be the best (and unmissable) hidden gems that you may have accidentally missed or overlooked.
Now, don't feel bad about it, people actually miss a lot of top quality viewing experiences all of the time because smaller and independent movies just get squashed by blockbuster movies, and most people just aren't going to the movies to see small budget or independent films. They also aren't going to the cinema half as much as I am either I would imagine, so it's more than likely that you've missed some of these rippers along the way, not through any fault of your own, but just from a lack of exposure; but never fear....I've got your back!
In no particular order (and remember that my full reviews of these films are on their genre lists if you want more information), here are my top 20 picks for hidden gem movies that you may have missed: 

1. The One I Love (Romance) 
2. Don Jon (Drama)
3. The Cabin in the Woods (Horror)
4. The Only Lovers Left Alive (Art House)
5. Short Term 12 (Drama)
6. A Ghost Story (Art House)
7. Wind River (Drama)
8. Once (Foreign/Romance)
9. Calvary (Art House/Foreign)
10. Moon (sci-fi)
11. Ingrid Goes West (Drama)
12. Son of Rambow (Comedy)
13. Sightseers (Foreign) 
14. In the Mood for Love (Foreign)
15. Young Adult (Drama)
16. Beautiful Boy (Drama)
17. Me and Earl and the Dying Girl (Drama)
18. Youth (Drama)
19. The Fall (Fantasy)
20. The Grand Seduction (Comedy)

I have only been back at work for two days and I have already found my number one hidden gem movie of the year! How good is that? And when you are as movie obsessed as I am and constantly thirsting for quality entertainment, then that is something to get happy about!

That time has rolled around again, the time for me to collate all of my viewing efforts and put forward my recommendations for the best viewing choices of 2018. As I have mentioned before, quality television really dominated my time this year and I gave more 5 Chilli Pepper ratings to TV series than I gave to movies this year. To be honest, overall I do feel that the quality of movies this year was not as strong as it was in 2017, and I feel like I watched a lot more mediocre movies than I did last year as well, but sometimes that happens. 
In total I viewed 253 movies in 2018 and 133 TV series (some of which had several seasons). I have watched programs across every genre, and I can honestly say that there were excellent offerings in all of those genres in both movies and television. This year I am not going to list my least favorite viewings for 2018 because I have made myself a new years resolution to be more positive and to not focus on the negative things, so to list the worst things I saw in 2018 would be counterproductive to that resolution. Besides, as I have said before, even if I didn't love it, doesn't mean that someone else won't or that it is rubbish. At the end of the day, even the movies that we don't really enjoy have required a lot of time, money and effort to be produced; to shit on someone else's dream or vision is a pretty lousy thing to do, so I am choosing not to go there. 
I hope that you find something on these lists that you have not seen yet and can hopefully now explore. For full reviews of all of the recommended movies below, just go to the appropriate genre tab at the top of the page.
So without any further ado, here are my TOP MOVIE CHOICES (2018 release):  

• ROMA - Foreign 4.5 Chilli Peppers
• Hereditary - Horror 4.5 Chilli Peppers 
• Beautiful Boy - Drama 4.5 Chilli Peppers 
• Isle of Dogs - Kid Friendly 4.5 Chilli Peppers
• BlacKkKlannsman  - Drama 4 Chilli Peppers 
• A Star in Born - Romance 4 Chilli Peppers 
• The Tale - Gritty 4 Chilli Peppers 
• Paddington 2 - Kid Friendly 4 Chilli Peppers 
• Avengers: Infinity War -  Super 4 Chilli Peppers 
• The Ballad of Buster Scruggs - Art House 4 Chilli Peppers 
• Upgrade - Science Fiction/ Action 4 Chilli Peppers  
• John Leguizamo: Latin History for Morons - Documentary 4 Chilli Peppers 

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

• A Quiet Place - Sci-Fi/ Horror 3.5 Chilli Peppers
• Annihilation - Sci-Fi 3.5 Chilli Peppers
• Black Panther - Super 3.5 Chilli Peppers
• Ready Player One - Fantasy 3.5 Chilli Peppers
• The Breaker Upperers - Comedy 3.5 Chilli Peppers
• Searching - Crime 3.5 Chilli Peppers
• Game Night - Comedy 3.5 Chilli Peppers
• Love, Simon - Romance 3.5 Chilli Peppers
• Bohemian Rhapsody - Drama 3.5 Chilli Peppers
• Blockers - Comedy 3.5 Chilli Peppers

Here are my top recommendations for pre- 2018 releases that I didn't see until 2018: 

• Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri - Drama 5 Chilli Peppers (Hall of Fame)
• Bright Star - Romance 4.5 Chilli Peppers
• Wind River - Drama 4 Chilli Peppers
• Good Time - Drama 4 Chilli Peppers 
• The Shape of Water - Fantasy 4 Chilli Peppers 
• Coco - Kid Friendly 4 Chilli Peppers 
• Mudbound - Drama 4 Chilli Peppers
• Call Me by Your Name  - Romance 4 Chilli Peppers 
• Ingrid Goes West - Drama 4 Chilli Peppers 
• Beasts of No Nation - Gritty 4 Chilli Peppers 
• The Tunnel - Foreign 4 Chilli Peppers 

BEST TELEVISION SERIES of 2018: 

• Master of None S2 - Comedy/ Drama 5 Chilli Peppers 
• One Strange Rock - Documentary 5 Chilli Peppers
• Atlanta S2 - Drama 5 Chilli Peppers
• Sharp Objects - Crime 5 Chilli Peppers
• Patrick Melrose - Drama 5 Chilli Peppers
• Kidding - Drama 4.5 Chilli Peppers
• Who is America? - Comedy/ Documentary 4.5 Chilli Peppers
• Here and Now - Drama 4.5 Chilli Peppers
• Maniac - Sci-Fi 4.5 Chilli Peppers
• Lemony Snicket's a Series of Unfortunate Events S2 - Fantasy/ Kid Friendly 4.5 Chilli Peppers 
• Mosaic - Crime 4 Chilli Peppers
• The End of the Fucking World S1 - Crime 4 Chilli Peppers
• Dirk Gently S2 - Fantasy 4 Chilli Peppers
• Barry S1 - Crime/ Drama 4 Chilli Peppers
• AHS - Apocalypse - Horror 4 Chilli Peppers
• Mr Inbetween - Crime 4 Chilli Peppers
• Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat - Documentary 4 Chilli Peppers
• Just Another Immigrant - Comedy  4 Chilli Peppers
• Mr Mercedes S1 - Crime  4 Chilli Peppers
• Wanderlust - Drama  4 Chilli Peppers
• The Miracle - Foreign  4 Chilli Peppers
• Anne with an E S2 - Drama 4 Chilli Peppers

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

• Britannia S1 - Fantasy 3.5 Chilli Peppers 
• Ash vs Evil Dead S3 - Horror/ Comedy 3.5 Chilli Peppers 
• Swedish Dicks S2 - Comedy/ Crime 3.5 Chilli Peppers 
• Future Man - Sci-Fi/Comedy 3.5 Chilli Peppers 
• GLOW S2 - Drama 3.5 Chilli Peppers 
• The Detectorists S2 - Comedy/ Drama 3.5 Chilli Peppers 
• Sabrina the Teenage Witch - Horror 3.5 Chilli Peppers 
• Wellington Paranormal - Horror/Comedy 3.5 Chilli Peppers 
• The Kominsky Method - Drama/ Comedy 3.5 Chilli Peppers 

Today is Boxing Day and I have officially dropped out the other end of Christmas. What I am now experiencing is that numb sense of overwhelment and exhaustion that arrives in the days preceding Christmas time. I have indulged in copious amounts of rich and decadent deliciousness, I have drank enough alcohol to challenge the driest of sailors on shore leave and I have received the most amazing gifts over the last four days. In short, it has been tremendously busy and I have been tremendously spoilt all over again. Talk about your first world problems over here, too much of the good stuff for me that's for sure!
However, it wasn't all take and no give, I really had a wonderful time giving all of the gifts that I had shopped for and I made plenty of treats and delicious eats for others to indulge in. I also did my volunteer shift of Christmas gift wrapping and fundraising for the Salvos as well, so I actually got to give over quite a bit of my love this jolly season. Everyone knows that the giving is generally even more special than the receiving at Christmas time and it was so wonderful to spend time with my family and friends over the last few days in an unhurried, indulgent and relaxing way. 
To be honest I haven't even managed to get out of my pyjamas today, I am having the laziest of days and with the fridge full of leftovers, I won't even need to cook this evening either. Unfortunately, my body clock has not adjusted to holiday time yet and insists on waking me up at 6am, which wouldn't be a problem if I wasn't continually burning the midnight oil at the moment as well. I don't think that I have been in bed before midnight since I finished work last week, and the lack of rest is starting to get a hold of me. 
Tiredness affects people in all kinds of ways, some people get cranky and moody, others get dozy, but I get vague, really, really vague. People can have entire conversations with me and I won't hear a word of it because I am off with the pixies. I also do really stupid things like lose my glasses (which are perched on top of my head) or put things away and forget where I put them. I suppose that I am just getting a really good glimpse into my future, because from what I have heard, people in their old age do a lot of wacky stuff like that all of the time. However, I also get really annoyingly foggy and I can't focus on anything for very long, everything seems much harder than it actually is and I am really only good for one thing, movie marathons and TV bingeing.
Am I using my tiredness as an excuse to hit the couch hard for a couple of days? Probably, but I don't feel guilty about that, it is the holidays after all and I have well and truly earned my right to be lazy and disconnected for a while. The time to unplug and tune out has finally arrived, so I think I might watch something a little on the slanted side because my mind is already there after all!

I cannot deny that the fatigue of a rather long term has begun to set in over the last week. Since the beginning of December I have attended seven dinner events, two graduations, five after hours appointments, two breakfast dates, squeezed in a trip to the movies and not missed a day of work in the process. I have also finished my Christmas shopping, wrapped all of my presents, sent off my Christmas cards, put up the tree and decorations, planned my Christmas menu and volunteered to work for the Salvos and wrap presents on the Sunday before Christmas. I don't want to brag, but I am bloody well going to because I am slamming this Christmas so hard!
With only two days of work left, I am starting to feel the drag of this busy time of the year weighing down on me, which means that I need to shift my focus back to the positive things that have lead to me to this point in the year. I admit that I am ready to unwind a little, and I probably deserve to because I have been going at it like the clappers, and even though work will fall into blissful respite for a while, I still have quite a lot to do between now and the new year, which at this stage looks like a sweet lull from the busyness for me. However, no matter how you look at it, it is always easier to get  more done when you are on holidays and things don't ever feel like a chore when you are marching to the sound of your own drum and don't feel compelled to adhere the time constraints of paid employment. 
Overall, 2018 has been an absolutely massive year for me in every way, absolutely positive that is. I have incorporated so much new learning and self discovery time into my life this year, and for that reason I have a much fuller and richer life than I have ever had before. I have worked really hard to develop routines that have offered me a healthier lifestyle overall; one that embraces me in mind, body and spirit, and I have reaped a  lot of rewards for those efforts. I have also worked harder at my employment, taking on new skill sets and trying out new experiences on a level that I would never have had the confidence to do before, which has pushed me out of my comfort zone but made me grow as a person. And I also believe that I have worked really hard to cultivate meaningful relationships in my life this year by nurturing the positive and uplifting relationships that I am lucky enough to have by spending more time with people who stimulate, entertain, enchant, respect and interest me, which has made my family and social life incredibly enriching and deeply satisfying. 
On all fronts, I feel blessed. Blessed to have had the year that I have had, blessed to be able to spend Christmas time with my family and friends and blessed to have grown as much as I have this year. And even though I have no idea what kind of fuel is carrying me across the finish line of Term Four this year, I am deeply thankful for it and cannot wait to see what lies ahead for the rest of this wonderful season of celebration. 

I love stories about magic, especially ones about witches, wizards, warlocks and far off enchanted lands. I have always been, for as far back as I can remember, completely allured by tales that involve witchcraft, magic and wizardry, which probably makes me the biggest geek in the world, but I don't care, they're awesome! I have spent many hours of my life absorbed in otherworldly realms, and I do not regret a single moment that I have spent in those places escaping the predictability of my  regular life. 
I suppose that I have always felt like there was quite a bit of magic that really does exist in the world, and the idea of there being a lot more of it going on than the average muggle could ever see has always excited me even further. As an adult reading the Harry Potter series, I was overwhelmed with joy to be losing myself in a world steeped in magic and mystery every time a new book came out, and although I love to read books and watch movies of all kinds, magical ones will always have a special place in my heart.
My first encounter with any kind of magical being came in the form of a troll from the story of The Three Billy Goats Gruff. It was a tale that my father would read to me as a small child, and it terrified me completely. The very idea of some troll living under a bridge that could jump up and snatch anyone off the bridge as they passed by was really scary as a child, and in the book he was described as having huge hands, a long nose like a broomstick and eyes as big as saucers. The image that accompanied the story in the book that we had was truly horrid and I was shit scared of it. I had an unspoken fear of bridges for years because of that book. However, in spite of how horrid that troll was, he did ignite an interest in the unseen world for me and once ignited, that interest never went out.
And so I began my love affair with magical escapism, and escape I did. I escaped during my lunch breaks in primary school, I escaped in my bedroom as a child, I escaped in the garden as a pre-teen and I even escaped in my nana's chook shed as a preschooler. As a child I escaped as often as I could and whenever I could, and literature was my main source of escapism; but it certainly didn't end there. 
As an adult I escaped to the much more potent world of real life escapism, and I found that in practises of the occult. Now before you get any ideas about chasing me down with pitchforks, you really need to calm down, it was a long while ago and I hung my broom and cloak up years ago, so there's no need to panic. At first I just started with dabbling in crystals, chakras and auras, which are pretty fluffy forms of occultism, and then eventually I moved on to using tarot cards and eventually graduated to spellcrafting. No, I wasn't beheading chickens or casting pentagrams of blood, it wasn't anything that extreme, it was purely experimental, mostly performed with curiosity and certainly non-violent in its makings.
However, let me assure you all, that what I did discovered through all of this 'escapism' is that there most certainly are unseen and hidden things in this world, and they are far happier being left the fuck alone! So don't even bother purchasing a ouija board or attempting to summon up spirits because you are most certainly not Sabrina the Teenage Witch, and crafting is most definitely not for meddlers. My advice is, stick to the movies, TV and literature, it is a far more fun, hassle-free and relaxing way to access magical escapism and there is no risk of biting off more than you can chew because you can just switch it off when you've had your fill!

One thing that I sure do love about having some extra recreational time in my life is being able to curl up on the couch with a coffee in one hand and a fabulous novel in the other and just read for hours without interruption. Reading is such a pleasurable activity and it is something that so often gets pushed to the wayside for me when I get really busy and it is something that I definitely look forward to indulging when time allows. I try hard to read at least one book and one entire magazine every month (Empire is my preferred choice) and if I don't read at least 10 books over the year, then I feel like I have failed terribly on the reading front. 
These days more and more people are reaching for an e-book for convenience and ease when it comes to their reading needs, but there are actually some extraordinary and scientific reasons to pick up a 'real' book and lose yourself, and a lot of those reasons are linked to health and wellbeing.  
Firstly, and probably foremost, reading increases your intelligence. Remember Dr Seuss' old chestnut? - "the more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you'll go."  Well, there is quite a lot of evidence to support that statement and according to a paper from the University of California, people that are exposed to higher amounts of vocabulary through literature and conversation have higher academic performance and higher IQ's in general.
Reading a 'real' book over a 'screen' book will also increase your reading speed by as much as 20-30% and a real book has been proven to engage memory more significantly than a screen book can because the physical act of turning a page offers your brain a tactile reference to the context which helps you to recall the information with more accuracy in the future. So if it's a reference or study book that you are reading then you should always opt for the real version over the e-book. 
Reading works for your brain in the same way that jogging works for your cardiovascular system, and regular reading improves your brain's memory function, which helps to keep your mind sharper and your processing abilities honed. In turn, that reduces your chances of having lowered mental function and cognition as you get older. And it is now a well known fact that people that read, play chess and complete puzzles are up to 2.5 times less likely to get Alzheimer's disease than people who don't, which proves that reading is actually vital to maintaining excellent mental functions.
Reading has also been scientifically proven to improve empathy and an understanding of other people's mental states. Turns out that every time that you get 'lost' in a novel, that you are actually building up the skills in your brain that allow you to understand complex social relationships and the characteristics of human societies. Which basically means that reading makes you more emotionally intelligent in the long run. 
On top of all that, reading also helps to reduce stress levels by up to 68% and reading before retiring in the evening has been proven to offer a more restful and sound sleep, but again it needs to be 'real' book and not a screen novel that you are reading, because looking at a screen before you go to sleep has the opposite effect. 
If all of that hasn't convinced you that you need to read more often, than I don't know what will. Seriously, go and get a book and get reading, it is so good for you! And if you don't know what to read, well of course I have you covered there as well!
Here is a list of 20 of my all time favourite books (in no particular order) for you to get lost in if you need a good place to start:

1. The Harry Potter Series by J.K. Rowling (my fave book series of all time)
2. Life of Pi by Yann Martel
3. Ready Player One by Ernest Cline
4. Let the Right One In by John Ajvide Lindqvist
5. Going Bovine by Libba Bray
6. I Am Legend by Richard Matheson
7. The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern
8. The Solitaire Mystery by Jostein Gaarder
9. The Industry of Souls by Martin Booth
10. Geek Love by Katherine Dunn
11. Big Brother by Lionel Shriver 
12. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time by Mark Haddon
13. Interview With the Vampire by Anne Rice
14. Crank by Ellen Hopkins
15. Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell by Susanna Clarke
16. The Bartimaeus Trilogy by Jonathan Stroud
17. Like Water for Chocolate by Laura Esquivel 
18. Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka
19. Gods Behaving Badly by Marie Phillips 
20. The Lord of the Rings Trilogy by J.R.R Tolkien

Toothache really is in a realm all by itself. This week I had a pretty tough week, so tough that I let my entire routine go out of the window because I had to. I was in excruciating pain for days and even though the worst of it is over, I am still basically like a cantankerous bear with a splinter in it's paw. I didn't eat, didn't sleep longer than a two hour stretch, didn't do yoga or meditation, didn't practise any of my usual lessons or even (God forbid) complete a blog. What I did do, between my work hours was moan, groan and lay about on the couch drugged out of my mind watching bullshit TV and hating my life.
How did I get this way? Well let me tell you a little story about heartache and the loss of God....just kidding...it wasn't actually that bad. Let me tell you about the time that a dentist butchered me though....
On Saturday of last week I went to the dentist for my routine six month clean and scale. I didn't have any concerns about my teeth and I was in really good health. I was however seeing a dentist that I wouldn't usually see, which would turn out to be one of my worst errors in judgement ever. My usual dentist has a life of luxury and only works 4 days a week from 9am to 3pm, which renders him pretty much useless to the working class society, so I thought I would do the right thing and not take time off for a routine clean and scale that I would just go to another dentist at the same practise, after all it was for a 20 min check-up not a root canal.
Anyway, this new dentist, let's call him Dr Slaughter, had me in the chair for an hour. He x-rayed, poked about and gave me a very thorough deep clean, which at the time I thought, okay great, obviously I needed all that. And even though I didn't enjoy it, I figured that I must have needed the extra invasive cleaning and told myself that I was getting value for money. 
The first day after the cleaning I was fine, and the second I was mildly uncomfortable, but I have had periodontal work so a little oral discomfort is not foreign to me. By Tuesday, shit was getting real and I had started to take Panadol and Nurofen on two hourly rotations. Let me point out that I NEVER take cope dope, not ever, it has to be serious for me to even go there.
Anyway Tuesday night, no dinner and a little sleep - too much pain. Wednesday I had to travel to Melbourne for a work PD, almost 3 hours each way, that was a long day with a lot of pain, drugged myself with over-the-counter remedies to an illegal level and soldiered on. Picked at a couple of things, didn't sleep again and woke up to thumping, pounding, shooting pains and nausea on Thursday. After being so tired and so empty and so exhausted for so many days I finally crumbled. Tears and tears, I gave in and made an appointment to see the dentist, my usual dentist. 
After some inspection and another lot of x-rays, he confirmed that my teeth were excellent, but some of my gums were so inflamed that they were higher that my teeth in my mouth. Well, that explained the pain alright. Toothache, or in this case, deep gum pain is a special hell all of its own. I have not felt so worn down, unwell, exhausted or overwhelmed by pain since I was in labour over thirteen years ago. It was BAD, so bad. I even had another good cry at the dentist's office and he felt so sorry for me that he called me at home (after hours) the next day to check on me. 
So my teeth were fine, it was a gum problem. I had to be referred to a periodontal expert to have a look as well, but even he was confused because the x-rays looked good. After examining my swollen and agonisingly tender mouth he concurred with what my dentist had said and also believed that some type of bacteria had entered my mouth during or just after the cleaning process when my gums were open, and that Dr Slaughter had caused trauma to my gum area by being too invasive. Basically I had a secondary infection of a fierce kind, one that required strong antibiotics and even stronger pain killers, which my dentist happily prescribed to me. 
Being keen to get some pain relief I went in hard on the drugs, which did give me a most welcomed nights sleep, but did also cause me to violently chunder into the garden on Friday morning after I took too many of them and then tried to drink a coffee. Live and learn. I am a bit of a prescription drug lightweight, and when you never have them, they work really well. So this weekend I have basically been lying about half out of my skull on pain relief and doing as little as possible. The antibiotics are working beautifully and everyday I get a significant reduction in pain and discomfort, so hallelujah to that! 
The lesson in all of this is? Don't ever go to a strange dentist, just organise the time off and see your usual one. Well, that's my take away from all of that anyway. Make an appointment at the slightest hint of 'after' pain before you start to contemplate self-surgery like I was and most importantly don't let one butcher put you off of going to the dentist forever, which is going to be my biggest hurdle now. Honestly, the thought of a dental check up right just sends shivers of dread straight down my spine! 
Thank God for Marvel, who was delivering another delightful instalment of super this weekend, honestly the distraction couldn't have arrived at a better time, and what a mighty fine distraction is was!

I love to imagine that one day I will be able to earn a decent living from watching and reviewing movies. It's a pie in the sky dream I know, but sometimes I like to indulge myself and escape into pleasant daydreams that feature me being important enough to be invited to exclusive movie launches and international film festivals. In these daydreams, I get to see new release movies before anyone else, which would mean that I was constantly ahead of the game and also, because I would be so very important, I would probably also have the opportunity to schmooze with some of the actors and directors behind the scenes; the big wigs and I would be on a first name basis! It's a totally nutty and exceptionally self indulgent daydream, but there is no harm in having gigantic aspirations and as far as I know, no-one has ever died from having ridiculous daydreams. 
I actually think that it is very healthy to have immense and often impossible dreams, even if you know that they are probably, absolutely never, ever, going to happen. I believe that we live in a world that is generally very intolerant to dreamers. Let's be honest, lollygagging and wistfully whiling away the hours are a very frowned upon preoccupation and from a very early age we are encouraged to focus, grow up, take on extra responsibility and make wise (often safe) choices to ensure that our futures are protected and provided for. And yes, some of that is certainly important, but it leaves very little room for flights of fancy, frivolity and the entertainment of intensely improbable dreams. 
I realise that we can't all run away and join the circus or throw caution to the wind and chase the impossible all of the time, but that doesn't mean that we should squash our dreams or ambitions entirely either. Is there any chance that I will become the next David Stratton, Margaret Pomeranz or Roger Ebert? Probably not, but that does not mean that I should never imagine myself sipping champagne on a balcony overlooking the canals at the Venice Film Festival whilst chatting to Martin Scorsese or Michael Fassbender, should it? No, it shouldn't! In fact, my general compliance and commitment to the monotony and repetition of the daily grind should allow me an open all areas, free backstage pass to slip into these crazy and improbable flights of fancy whenever I damn well feel like it!  
Dreaming of the perfect job, the ideal home or a better life doesn't mean that you are not happy with the life that you have now, because I totally love my life and have a billion reasons to be grateful and satisfied with the hand that I have been dealt. However, that doesn't mean that I am not allowed to fantasize about a life that permits me to indulge in all of my passions and receive financial benefits to do so, who doesn't like to daydream about stuff like that? Keeping your dreams and imaginings alive is a way to keep yourself vital, engaged and inspired, it is in no way a sign of displeasure, it is rather the opposite in fact.
Escapism people! It's awesome and it can make a lot of really crappy things a lot more tolerable. Sometimes when I am having a particularly shitty day, it is my daydreams and imaginative flights of fancy that draw me away from my worry and strife. Without these trips down 'in a perfect world' street, who knows how I might feel? Who knows how much of the daily grind I could actually tolerate without a little escapism from time to time? It is much safer to let the dreamers dream I say, there's no harm in dreaming. 
And I am happy to keep my daydreams, however impossible, working vividly in the background of my regular life, and even if nothing even close to those dreams ever does eventuate, who cares? I'm not harming anyone with my hoping and my dreaming, but in my minds eye, I am having all kinds of impossible fun that no one can ever take away from me. And seriously, can you imagine a world without dreamers? That is not a world that I would want to live in, because for all of our discouraging of daydreaming and escapism, we all know that it is the dreamers that really make all of the magic happen in this world.

Seth is currently completely obsessed with the 'Tiny House' movement. He relentlessly tries to convince Craig and I that we should be downsizing and opting to live in a tiny house. Craig tells him that we did once live in a tiny house when we bought our first home, and that it was cramped and that he has just forgotten what that felt like because he was tiny himself back then. Our first house was definitely not a tiny house, however in comparison to where we live now it would seem small. We did have to renovate the crap out of our first home to make it larger and more accomodating for our expanding family needs, and even after we had stretched it to its absolute limits, it just wasn't big enough for our family anymore. However, that doesn't mean that we won't need to downsize sometime in the future, but Seth wants to live in a tiny house right now. 
Now I don't want to deter my son's ambitions to be more environmentally sound and eco-friendly, but there are a few obvious problems with Seth wanting to live in a tiny house in the future, the first being his size. Seth is clearly going to be  bear-man when (or if) he ever stops growing. My side of the family is known for being a sturdy bunch and Craig's side is all height, put those two body types together and add a lot of man hair to that, and you have something that resembles a bear on its hind legs. He is already way taller than me now and he is only 13. These proportions are going to present more than their fair share of problems for Seth in a tiny house, but this has not deterred him. 
The other problem with Seth's tiny house concept is where his tiny house will live, which I can answer immediately, our backyard! I have visions of Seth squeezing himself onto a tiny porch every night in our backyard to go to bed, which in reality will not be downsizing at all, it will be expanding. There is more than enough space here for him in the house, adding another tiny house to our land will not be downsizing! I see the logic in this, unfortunately he does not.
If it was mobile and he could travel with it, that I could understand but to build another smaller house off the size of our already adequate house seems ridiculous to me.
I think that he may just be attracted to the idea of a glorified cubby or tree house if I am being honest about it. As a small child Seth loved to make blanket forts and would hide away for hours under a blanket tossed over a clothes horse or sit in a one man tent with Zoe listening to stories. He has always loved confined spaces and we spent hours extracting from him from under tables and things that he had got himself stuck in as a child, and maybe that longing for small spaces has just never gone away for him. 
I do totally concur with him on the carbon footprint thing though, a tiny house is so much better for the environment and so much cheaper to manage overall, but I would be lying if I said that I didn't love the amount of space that we have out here and that I have grown quite accustomed to a palatial lifestyle. However, in growing accustomed to certain privileges, one must also be responsible for them and Craig and I are both really serious about our impact on the environment. We have put in solar panels as a means of generating green energy and reducing our footprint out here and we do recycle diligently and compost all of our green waste which goes back into feeding our own vegetable patch and garden beds. We use tank water 95% of the time and use grey water on gardens where we can. We reuse everything, only buy or replace things when it absolutely necessary and we never waste food or other precious resources. But who knows, maybe in the future there will be ways to be even more environmentally friendly without having to compromise on life's luxuries or the feeling of having space. I know that I would certainly be all over that. 

The days appear to be stretching out before me lately, and like well worked dough, I can feel myself spreading out over more and more hours of the day. I'm unsure how, but the days do genuinely seem to be getting longer at both ends. I have even started to accidentally double book myself in for appointments and meetings which is always a telltale sign that I'm probably pushing a little too much into my day, but it just cannot be helped. I have a lot of living to do, and I will be damned if I will limit myself or my experiences just to grab a couple of extra hours of sleep!
​For those of you that already know me, you will be well aware that I am a lady who likes to get up early and also stay up late.  My average week day begins at 5.45am and rarely ends before 11.30pm. On weekends I often sleep in until 8.30pm but will then stay up until 2am or later that evening, especially if I am on a movie watching binge. I suppose that I am actually very lucky to be able to get away with an average of six hours of sleep a night and still feel pretty terrific most of the time. 
I am so conditioned to sleeping less hours at night, that I generally feel quite horrid when I sleep more than eight hours these days, not to mention the amount of anguish that I feel about all of the things that I could've squeezed into that time that I just wasted sleeping! I need all 18 of my waking hours a day to get everything done that I want to do, not that I have to do, that I want to do.
There are things that we all must do daily that do take a big chunk out of our time, they are the necessary things like eating, showering, housework and your paid employment, all of which can also be enjoyable, but odds are they aren't necessarily your favourite times of the day. I am talking about the time that we all need to set aside for the things that we love to do. The things that you do, not because you have to, but because they are your passions. They ignite you and help you to get through all of the other necessary crap so that you can really pursuit your hobbies, your joys and your ways of defusing the world and getting into your own  zone. 
I have a few such passions, and if I don't find the time to indulge in them daily, I can become a bit of a crank. It is amazing how quickly our passions can become our obsessions, and I admit that I am guilty of indulging in my obsessions. Luckily my obsessions are neither dangerous nor illegal, so that's a win, but when you find yourself at the cinema at midnight on a Tuesday evening with friends and you have work the next day, well it's pretty fair to say that you have an obsession, and that you are indulging in it. So glad that it was all for a good purpose though, because this time, my obsession was definitely worth staying up for.

THE SHAPE OF WATER
Release Date: 2017
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 123 mins 
A romance fantasy movie, written and directed by Guillermo del Toro and Vanessa Taylor that will definitely tug at your heartstrings with its whimsical fairytale-esque storyline and adorable characters. After scooping the Golden Globe for Best Director and Best Original Score, The Shape of Water looks like a strong contender for an academy award as well, especially since it has 13 nominations.
​Elise is a mute cleaner (Sally Hawkins) that works at secret government laboratory. She discovers an amphibious humanoid (Doug Jones) that is being held against its will and the two form a secret relationship through a mutual love of proteins and music. When the creature's life becomes endangered, Elise sets about trying to rescue it from the facility, putting herself and the creature at great risk. 
​This movie is so deliciously sweet! The musical score, the costuming, the set design, the storyline, it all works beautifully. The performances are equally strong, with Hawkins delivering a divine portrayal of a pint sized angel, Michael Shannon playing the role of bad-guy Strickland with a terrifying conviction, Doug Jones - a del Toro veteran, is consistently fabulous as the amphibious man and Octavia Spencer, Richard Jenkins and Michael Stuhlbarg all offer solid support roles. 
I haven't liked a del Toro movie for a long while now, however, The Shape of Water proves that he's back, and that he still has what it takes when it comes to making enchanting monster movies. 
FINAL SAY: If we do nothing, neither are we. 
​4 Chilli Peppers ​

It's that time again, the time for me to unleash my viewing loves and loathes for the year of 2017. In total, I watched 279 movies and 62 TV series in 2017, so yeah, it is fair to say that I have a robust addiction to entertainment and that I have a fairly good idea of what is out there.
My biggest undertaking for the year was a rewatch of the entire Lost Series, 121 episodes in total, and although it took me the better part of the entire year to get through, it was worth the effort. Next to the Twin Peaks Reboot, Lost was the next biggest mind fuck of the year for me.
I must say that the bar raises every single year for me because movies and TV are constantly improving in quality and there is a never ending stream of excellent viewing to be had. That makes it a lot harder for me to discern the best,  but also a lot more enjoyable in the long run.
However, without further ado, here are my picks for the best and worst of 2017, my full reviews of these movies can be found on their corresponding genre lists. 
BEST MOVIES OF 2017:

• IT  - Horror  4.5 Chilli Peppers
• A Ghost Story - Art House 4.5 Chilli Peppers
• Mother! - Challenging 4.5 Chilli Peppers
• Blade Runner 2049 - Science Fiction 4.5 Chilli Peppers
• Baby Driver - Action 4 Chilli Peppers
• Dunkirk - War 4 Chilli Peppers
• Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2 - Fantasy 4 Chilli Peppers
• Logan - Super 4 Chilli Peppers
• Get Out - Horror 3.5 Chilli Peppers
• A Dark Song - Horror 3.5 Chilli Peppers
• T2 - Trainspotting - Drama 3.5 Chilli Peppers
• Logan Lucky - Action/Comedy 3.5 Chilli Peppers

BEST CATCH UP MOVIES OF 2017: (Movies released before 2017 that I finally saw in 2017)

• La Grande Bellezza (The Great Beauty) - Foreign 5 Chilli Peppers (Hall of Fame)
• Manchester by the Sea - Drama 5 Chilli Peppers (Hall of Fame)
• Moonlight - Drama 4.5 Chilli Peppers
• Arrival - Science Fiction 4.5  Chilli Peppers
• Nocturnal Animals  -Drama 4.5  Chilli Peppers
• Hidden Figures - Drama 4  Chilli Peppers
• Moana - Kid Friendly 4  Chilli Peppers
• The Edge of Seventeen -Comedy 4 Chilli Peppers
• The Conjuring 2 - Horror 4 Chilli Peppers
• Captain Fantastic - Drama 4 Chilli Peppers
• Samson and Delilah - Gritty 4 Chilli Peppers
• The House of the Devil - Horror 3.5 Chilli Peppers
• The Mermaid - Foreign/ Fantasy 3.5 Chilli Peppers

WORST MOVIES OF 2017:

• Kong: Skull Island - Fantasy 2 Chilli Peppers
• The Great Wall - Action/ Fantasy 1.5 Chilli Peppers
• The Ghost in the Shell - Science Fiction 1.5 Chilli Peppers
• A Cure for Wellness - Horror 1.5 Chilli Peppers
• Loving - Drama 1.5 Chilli Peppers
• Valerian and the City of a 1,000 Planets - Science Fiction 1.5 Chilli Peppers
• Baywatch - Comedy 1.5 Chilli Peppers
• Yoga Hosers  -Comedy 1 Chilli Pepper
• The Bye Bye Man  - Horror 0 Chilli Peppers
• The Greasy Strangler - Art House 0 Chilli Peppers

BEST TV SERIES 2017:

• Big Little Lies - Drama 5 Chilli Peppers
• The Handmaid's Tale - Drama/ Fantasy 5 Chilli Peppers
• American Gods - Horror/ Fantasy 5 Chilli Peppers
• Atlanta - Drama 4.5 Chilli Peppers 
• Godless - Western 4.5 Chilli Peppers
• Game of Thrones S7  - Fantasy 4.5 Chilli Peppers
• Stranger Things S2 - Science Fiction 4.5 Chilli Peppers
• Twin Peaks Reboot - Art House 4 Chilli Peppers 
• Mozart in the Jungle - Drama 4 Chili Peppers 
• Alias Grace - Historical Drama 4 Chilli Peppers 
• AHS - Cult - Horror 4 Chilli Peppers
• Peaky Blinders S4 - Historical Drama 4 Chilli Peppers
• Better Things - Comedy 4 Chilli Peppers
• A-Typical - Drama 3.5 Chilli Peppers
• Girls - Final Season - Drama 3.5 Chilli Peppers
• The Sinner - Mystery/Drama 3.5 Chilli Peppers

As far as bad TV series go, well I was so busy watching really high quality TV that I managed to miss all of the shit this year, so I'm not even putting in a category for that. To be honest, I think that this year may have been one of the best of years for quality TV that I have ever known, which fills me with a lot of hope for 2018. 
Hopefully you will find something on my lists that you haven't seen yet and will now go and see on my recommendation. Also, you now know what to avoid like the plague if you should have the misfortune of coming across it.
I hope that the holiday period is being kind to you all, happy viewing!

IT
Release Date: 2017
Rating: R 18+
Running Time: 135 mins 
A supernatural horror directed by Andy Muschietti and based on the highly successful 1986 novel of the same name by Stephen King. Clearly audiences are thirsting for excellent retro horror tales because IT swiftly became the highest grossing horror film of all time and the third highest grossing R rated movie of all time. 
It's 1988 in a small American town called Derry and something insidious is lurking in the sewers; an ancient evil that feeds on the fears of children and presents itself as a clown called Pennywise. Seemingly invisible to adults, Pennywise starts to abduct the children of Derry, and turns its sights on a tight group of friends called The Losers Club. 
With all of the terrific friendship dynamics  and comradery of The Goonies, Stranger Things and Stand By Me  and all of the creepiness of a James Wan horror, IT has a formula that works on so many levels. Not only is there a creepy as all shit clown torturing the children, but all of the adults in Derry seem to be rather unpleasant as well which adds another layer of turmoil to this already emotionally affecting tale. 
IT is most definitely the best horror movie to come out of 2017. The acting is on point, with Bill Skarsgard delivering one of the most memorably disturbing horror characters of all time in Pennywise. He is however exceptionally well supported by a young and fresh faced cast who are all bringing their A game here as well, with notable performances being delivered by Finn Wolfhard, Sophia Lillis, Nicholas Hamilton and Jeremy Ray Taylor.
The visuals are certainly dark, dreadful and nightmarish; but the coming of age story that is playing in the background is not at all drowned out by the grim effects, which was really pleasing to see. IT is a true horror gem and a must see movie for fans of quality horror.
FINAL SAY: We all float down here. 
4.5 Chilli Peppers ​

It's December. What what? How on earth did we get here so damn fast? This year has travelled at the speed of light as far as I am concerned, and here we are back on the threshold of the silly season whilst my head is still processing the events of the last one! Nevermind, we are here and we are alive and well, so let's be merry and get this thing started I say!
We kicked off our Christmas celebrations at Enfield this weekend by putting up the tree, wrapping a few presents and I have even started writing out my Christmas cards. Look at me go! Well, there is really no choice in the matter, I need to be organised. Craig and I don't finish work until the Friday before Christmas, which gives us a two day hiatus until the big day, so it is pretty fair to say that we need to get cracking ahead of time. The thought of dealing with manic last minute shoppers on Christmas Eve doesn't exactly fill me with Christmas cheer, so I am going to try and avoid that scenario as much as possible by getting shit done when I can. 
I indulged in some early Yuletide tipples with Helen last night as we cocktailed the evening away and attempted to watch a few Christmas/ holiday movies. God, so many Christmas movies are shithouse! With the exception of perhaps a dozen or so, the rest are just unwatchable drivel, in the end we settled for watching back to back episodes of Skin Wars and the 1980's best party anthem music clips on Channel V. The good old B52's reigned supreme with 'Love Shack' at number one, knocking out Wham's 'Wake me up Before you Go-Go' which came in second and Madonna's 'Get into the Groove' in third.
I have to admit that I do have a seriously soft spot for eighties music. I think that most people have an affinity with music from their childhood and that decade definitely takes me back. I realised last night that I still haven't gotten over my lust for Madonna's amazing jacket in Desperately Seeking Susan and every time that I see that clip from the movie it reminds me of how cool that I thought she was back in the day and how I longed to be just like her. Not so much these days, but in the 80's she was a style setter extraordinaire. 
I must say, Christmas time never ceases to amaze me, it always brings about such an intense sense of nostalgia. Every year I find myself reminiscing and reflecting on my life in some way. I think that it is impossible to not think about how things have changed in one's life at this time of the year because of the emphasis on tradition and loved ones, Christmas has a way of putting things into perspective. I most certainly do feel blessed to have so many salt of the earth people in my life right now, and that too is one of the best things about Christmas, it makes you count your blessings; and I have so very many things to be grateful for.
What else can I say? I am fortunate and all things considered, it really is a pretty wonderful life. 

Woohoo! I got the job!
I'd be lying if I said that I didn't feel a bit crummy about knocking out my opposition, who would have wanted the role just as much as I did, but at the end of the day I cannot deny that it felt pretty damn fine to be victorious in my pursuits.
​Yes, it is official, I am going to a new school next year to try my hand at something completely different. My new position will see me working primarily with a blind child who is beginning his school journey in Foundation in 2018, which means that I will be required to learn Braille and take on an entirely new skill set. This challenge is extremely exciting to me and I am really looking forward to meeting my new little friend and gaining a better understanding of his needs.
As a learning support officer, you really do gain a great deal of knowledge from each child that you work with and this child will certainly not be an exception to that rule, in fact I envision that this experience will be both challenging and deeply satisfying, which is exactly what I look for in my employment. 
The truly bitter-sweet thing about this new job is that I must now leave my current place of employment, a place that has helped me to grow and that has nurtured me for almost nine years. In doing so, I also leave behind some amazing friendships and relationships that I have cultivated  there as well, and that is going to be the hardest part of saying goodbye at the end of the year.
Most people walk out the door when they quit a job thinking 'good riddance' but I will not be feeling that way at all. You see, I still really like my job and I love that I know everyone that I work with so well and I feel like I belong to a kind of weird and wonderful family when I am at work. Letting go of all of that will not be easy to do, but I am sure that the really meaningful relationships that I have created will continue to flourish even after I go, so there is some solace in that. 
Still, going to a brand new place filled with brand new faces and doing a job that is totally foreign to me, although invigoratingly new, is equally terrifying. I would be lying if I said that there wasn't some trepidation and apprehension tied to this most poignantly bitter-sweet moment right now; but that is the way that change always feels, and busting out of old routines and comfortable predictability takes guts. Right now, this change has come at the right time for me, because it really is a good time to change and try something fresh and new. And even though half of me is holding on tight to what I have, the other half has already started to let go and to reach out for something new.
You have to listen to those little voices inside of you that tell you that it time to give something else a shot or to let go of old mindsets, because that is when the real growth occurs. Someone famous once said that we would never reach new lands if we were always too afraid to leave the shore. Well, not me, I am leaving the safety of the shore and I can see new land across the sea; I am going on an adventure!

Spent my Sunday afternoon celebrating Craig's niece's expectant baby at her baby shower today. Lots of lady laughs and fun and games to be had as we sat about nibbling and chatting and rubbing the expectant tummy for the better part of the afternoon. There is nothing like an expectant baby to get ladies clucky and tongues wagging about labour experiences and the highs and lows of pregnancy. I am always surprised by the incredible clarity that women can recollect what is more than likely, one of the most challenging and/or painful experiences of their lives. 
Seriously, women can remember incredible details about the birthing process, like the exact time that their child was born, what the midwife said to them, how much their new baby weighed and how many hours they spent huffing and puffing to get them into the world. They remember which foods made them nauseous when they were pregnant and what the trip to the hospital was like, whether it was raining that day or not, how much facial hair the anaesthesiologist had and any number of other somewhat inane details surrounding the event. It is almost like those moments of time become permanently etched into a mother's memory, and every mother has their own unique tale to tell, like a battle wound or scar to bare of their heroic motherly efforts.
Personally I would rather not talk about my child birthing experiences, they weren't fun and they are not events that I look back on with fondness, in fact, they were really traumatic. However, I am more than happy to listen to the stories of others as long as it doesn't scare the shit out of the un-laboured women in the room. Some women's tales of labour woe are enough to frighten off the toughest potential mothers-to-be with their horrific recounts and I believe that some things are better left unsaid in that department.
Fortunately today, we didn't get a lot of that, just a lot of  talk about the discomforts of actually being pregnant. Craig's niece only has 6 weeks to go until ETA, and she still looks nicely compact to me. I remember looking like a sea cow when I was pregnant and feeling like a yeti, but some women just love to be pregnant.
I have no idea how women can be surrogates, being pregnant is so demanding on your body and you really do feel like an alien is going to launch itself from inside of you at any moment and you literally have no privacy when you are pregnant, your body is most definitely not your own. Why anyone would volunteer to do that to themselves for anyone else is beyond me, but I take my hat off to the ladies that can do it, I know I couldn't do it.
​I personally found pregnancy utterly over-rated, labour completely crapola and healing after the effect as much fun as finding a rogue turd in your shopping trolley, but hey, that's just me! I can't have found it too taxing, I did do it twice; and I would be lying if I said it wasn't all worth it, because a billion times over, it is all so very and completely worth it. That first look at the person that you have just made, well....it does make all of the bad stuff seem so very insignificant all at once, and that is one truth that I cannot deny. Your own newborn will most definitely take your breath away. 

We have all been asked the question 'if you were an animal, what kind of animal would you be?' And this questions always gets people chattering, because there is a lot of difference between choosing the animal that you would like to be, and choosing the animal that you are really most like.  
Who doesn't want to be a majestic eagle, or a graceful dolphin or a fiercely proud lion? We all do, and if I was going to choose a animal that I would most like to be, it would without a doubt be a cat. Some lovely looking, domestic, pampered puss that gets to sleep on a bed all day, eats exceptionally well and gets patted all the time. Much like my own cat, only not as old because she is ancient now. However, if I was keeping it real, I would most certainly not be a cat. Cats are lithe, fast, graceful and clever; so no, I could never pull off a convincing cat, Garfield perhaps, but not really any other sort of cat.  
If I was keeping it real, I would have to say that I could probably manage a kookaburra, due to the loudness of my laugh and the fact that they are usually just seen hanging around not doing a great deal except cracking up and eating the odd meaty morsel, and they are early risers like me as well. Not really sure about being an air animal though, I am not a huge fan of heights and I am definitely a land lubber, so perhaps not a kookaburra after all. 
So, in the hope of finding some clarity, I went online and took some tests on the topic, and here is what I found out​.
Spiritanimal.info said I was a lion, a relentless fighter with courage and strength, often wild and difficult to control.
Brainfall.com said I was a whale (thanks brainfall.com!) because I have a strong inner voice and I am in touch with reality.
Playbuzz.com said I was a buffalo because I am strong, reliable and tenacious.
Whatismyspiritanimal.com said that I am a bee because I can co-exist in peace and create abundance. 
Spirithood.com said that I am a wolf because I am social, loyal and highly intelligent. 
So....after all that I really don't have any idea what my spirit animal actually is and I am not any closer to finding out because there was no overlapping animal there at all.
However, as I predicted, not a bird in sight so I am probably not a kookaburra! Perhaps I am just a combination of all of those things at different times, maybe as humans we cannot identify as one animal anyway because our lifestyles allow us to be so changeable. I know that on some days I certainly feel more like a whale than a lion that's for sure! 

When things get crazy and hectic, as they so often do in life, it's so important to search a little harder and dig a little deeper; and for want of a better way to describe it - find the shine in your life.
Sometimes the shine can be extremely hard to find, on certain days, it can be downright elusive; on some days it can feel like there is no real shine left in the world to find at all. On those less than average days when everything and everyone appears to present another obstacle or opposition, you can end up feeling completely depleted and deflated by the world and it's constant pressures. Those are the days that require double what it takes and they are most definitely the days when we especially need to nurture ourselves and find a little gold or a tiny pearl amidst the muck and the mire. 
Don't lose hope, there are some pretty easy ways to restore your faith in humanity and re-find the shine, so relax dear readers, I got you covered! Studies have shown that just thinking about the happy times in our lives can boost the serotonin levels in our brain. Serotonin is the essential component in the prefrontal cortex of the brain and it regulates your  emotions and your self-reflection abilities. Basically, the more serotonin that you can get into your brain, the better that you will feel, and since serotonin also has the power to override old panic patterns it's great for generating a calm mind and disposition.
So, thinking happy thoughts is actually really beneficial to your health, and it will most certainly help to lift you out of your funk on a less than terrific day. As Maria sang in The Sound of Music - "when the dog bites, when the bee stings, when I'm feeling sad, I simply remember my favourite things, and then I don't feel so bad."  And it turns out that she was quite right about that because just thinking about things that make you happy will lift your spirits and make you see that the world really isn't so bad. 
Here are some other quick fix remedies that I like to use for particularly funky days or whenever the need arises (I hope that they may serve to also help you find your gold or tiny pearl next time you need one). 

• Have a laugh - watch a comedy, share a funny story over the dinner table or phone a friend that has a good sense of humour.
• Pamper yourself -  have a home foot spa, paint your nails, force someone to give you a back rub, dye your hair, have a face mask....you get the picture. 
• Surround yourself with beauty - get to the local gardens, bush areas or to an art gallery, or if hotties are more your style then hit the town.
• Get out of your own way - plan an excursion or an overnight stay to break the cycle, just get out of the house and stop mulling things over!
• Get active - walk it off, run it off or dance it off (Shake it off!)
• Perform a random act of kindness - doing nice things for other people has been scientifically proven to again, boost the serotonin levels in your noggin' - so go and be kind and spread some love around.
• Re-read or re-watch  something you love - must be an oldie but a goodie.
• Soak it out - full on deep bath, tonnes of bubbles, wine in hand and stereo blasting something awesome in the background!
• Watch some harrowing movie or documentary about people that have truly shithouse lives and then smack yourself upside the head for not realising how great your life actually is - works for me!

There are certain life situations and conditions that really raise my anxiety, tweak my nerves and just plain annoy the shit out of me. I'm 100% aware of my own triggers, but it is impossible to completely avoid all of one's triggers all of the time, so instead I have adopted strategies and creative ways to cope with them when they happen, so that I don't fly off the handle like an irrational psycho like I used to do in the good old days. 
Some things that really grind my gears and get my knickers in a twist (aside from the obvious ugly stuff like racism, poverty, sexism, abuse etc. that everyone who is sane hates) are things like:
Having too many things to focus on at one time.
Constant interruptions.
Manipulators.
People that want me to change.
The selfish and the delusional - sometimes mistaken for the young and the restless.
Criticism, conflict and lack of harmony. 
People that dismiss my feelings.
People being fake or superficial - on the inside, cosmetic surgery doesn't bother me in the least.
People making assumptions.
Being yelled at.
People that are late.
Being around lots of people, especially at parties.
Not getting any down time.
Constant noise or loudness.
Lack of closure.
And that is really just the tip of the iceberg, I could go on for hours about the things that flip my burger, but what would be the good in that? You see it's not really about what makes you anxious or who makes you annoyed, it's all about how you cope with it. And I believe it all comes down to what you can control and what you cannot control.
If you can control what is stressing you out, then by God take control immediately and fix it! If you cannot control what is stressing you out then you have to get creative, you have to get some stellar coping skills and learn to channel your anxieties into something positive and fruitful. The only way that you can really do that is to truly get to know your own triggers by finding out what it is that makes you feel stressed out.
You have to know what you need to avoid to remain sane, what you need to learn to accept that is completely  unavoidable and you especially need to know what you should push back against and wrestle to the ground. It's like pulling out weeds or 'tending to the garden of the soul.' 
I myself am a great advocate of clothing and feeding my own demons, it's a practise that I indulge in regularly, and now I really know what is going to 'get me going' well before it gets too close to me. Yes siree, I know my own monsters alright and I know just what to do when one comes calling for me these days, and it isn't run in the opposite direction screaming anymore I can tell you that much. Nope, I'm all about staring down my monsters and facing them head on; because I may not be able to change them, but I do prefer to see them coming! 

How the hell has a third of the year already gone by? I'm still recovering from last Christmas, how can we already approaching the halfway mark of another year? It is utterly perplexing to me how every year the days seem to get shorter and shorter, and I am not really packing more things in, just maintaining the status quo, so how does this keep happening? At this rate, years are going to feel like they are a few months long by the time I get to be 70! They say that time flies when you're having fun, but it hasn't exactly been all shits and giggles, so that theory doesn't hold any water either. Time just goes by, in a flash, in a moment and there is nothing that can stop its relentless forward march; and suddenly we are already a third of the way into 2017. 
​It is not until you stop and take stock of the year thus far that you begin to realise how much you have already accomplished, but also on some fronts, how little you have achieved. With the majority of the year still available it is always a good time to reflect on what still needs attention. I would like to offer a little more time this year to painting. I haven't even picked up a paintbrush yet this year. I am longing for a couple of undisturbed weekends in front of a canvas with a glass of good wine in one hand, a paintbrush in the other and something soulful on the stereo. That sounds so wonderful to me, that and curling up with a good novel for hours. I haven't been reading as much as would like to either, but I find that as soon as I pick up my book off the bedside table lately I am asleep with it in my hand only moments later. So annoying!
I love to contemplate all of the amazing things that I could get done if I didn't need to sleep, the possibilities are just endless; how awesome would that be? I wish that my battery never ran down at the end of every day because I would have read a million more novels by now, and watched a billion more movies. I definitely would have completed more art pieces, knitted more clothing, drawn more pictures, baked more delicious cakes, created more things and reviewed way more movies; but most of all I would've had a lot more time to spend with the ones that I love. Most of the time I feel like sleeping is such a dreadful waste of my life, I try not to give more than six hours a day to it generally because I begrudge giving up any more of my life to it. Sleep! Boo -it's totally overrated in my books! Shame that it is so damn necessary I reckon.
​Anyway, the next school holidays will definitely offer me the chance to do those neglected and much missed things, and I fully intend to batten down the hatches and spend as much time as possible hibernating out at Enfield over the June/July break. It'll be movie marathons in the evenings, painting, baking and reading in the afternoons, and long brunches after zenning out with yoga in the mornings. That is one of the best things about living in a house that you have built yourself to meet your own needs, you never really feel like you need a holiday from it. I can easily while away entire weeks out here without even contemplating going into town, I love being tucked away from the world. Besides, everything that I need is already here, including my paint easel and my pile of unread good books, I've truly got it made. Looks like my winter break is already planned. Must say though, in spite of my need to sleep, I certainly haven't been neglecting my movie intake in any way, there are certain things that I just cannot sacrifice! 

I am already getting tired, really tired, and it is only week three of Term One! These obvious cracks that are starting to occur are making me feel weak and pathetic, but I am honestly feeling really exhausted at the moment. Perhaps it is just the new routine, perhaps it is all just part of getting back into the swing of things, perhaps it is the fact that I get up at 5.40am and don't really stop until 9pm and then feel obligated to watch a movie or something of equal length and effort, perhaps, perhaps, perhaps! Who knows or really cares why I feel so tired, I just do bloody well do! 
If I'm being completely honest with myself about it though, I know that it is because I take on too many things and put my own well being on the back burner for others. So, from this point forward, I have decided to trim as much fat off my life as I can. Yes, I know that I also need to trim some off my fat arse too, but I digress. What I need to do first is minimise the shit that I feel obligated to do and learn to set limits, not just for myself, but to also let others know that I am not a slave to their needs.
Quite often when people set limits like this, others see it as a negative thing or a selfish thing, which I know I have thought of others myself in the past, but not anymore! If it isn't serving me then it can fuck right off as far as I am concerned. I am culling the unneeded, slaying the undesired and destroying as many obstacles to my zen state as possible. This is not a dress rehearsal, this is my life! I want to maximise the good, find my bliss in every moment and live by my own terms and I don't think that there is anything wrong with that.
I actually got to flex my new found fat trimming abilities already this week when I wrote an email to my team at work outlining my dissatisfaction with a current responsibility that I had been lumbered with because it was really making me feel unhappy. The problem was fixed within a day, what a result! And when Seth's friend called last night and asked if Seth could come bowling at 10am on Sunday, I politely informed him that 10am on a Sunday was not a respectful weekend time slot, so he and his very strict and almost militantly driven mother actually changed the time to 11am, again result! 
It is of no service to the self to just take shit you don't want or need on the chin, and there is nothing virtuous about grinning and bearing it. I really don't think that life was meant to be endured, and I have no intentions of enduring things anymore. From now on: no purpose, no joy, no interest; that's my motto and that's just how it has to be!