I love going to the movies or sitting down to watch a film and finding a hidden gem. Sometimes I get the most delightfully unexpected surprise from a movie that I wasn't expecting it from, and I just love it when that happens, it really spins my tyres! And it really doesn't happen as often as I would like, a lot of the time when I leave a cinema or get off the couch after a movie I am left with a rather underwhelmed kind of a feeling or even worse, I start to contemplate the hours that I just wasted and will never get back again!
Life is way too short to waste reading bad books, watching poor movies and wasting your precious and valuable free time having mediocre experiences. Especially cinematic ones, after all that's why you have me! I've already found heaps of hidden gems for you, so you can just relax and enjoy the movies that I consider to be the best (and unmissable) hidden gems that you may have accidentally missed or overlooked.
Now, don't feel bad about it, people actually miss a lot of top quality viewing experiences all of the time because smaller and independent movies just get squashed by blockbuster movies, and most people just aren't going to the movies to see small budget or independent films. They also aren't going to the cinema half as much as I am either I would imagine, so it's more than likely that you've missed some of these rippers along the way, not through any fault of your own, but just from a lack of exposure; but never fear....I've got your back!
In no particular order (and remember that my full reviews of these films are on their genre lists if you want more information), here are my top 20 picks for hidden gem movies that you may have missed: 

1. The One I Love (Romance) 
2. Don Jon (Drama)
3. The Cabin in the Woods (Horror)
4. The Only Lovers Left Alive (Art House)
5. Short Term 12 (Drama)
6. A Ghost Story (Art House)
7. Wind River (Drama)
8. Once (Foreign/Romance)
9. Calvary (Art House/Foreign)
10. Moon (sci-fi)
11. Ingrid Goes West (Drama)
12. Son of Rambow (Comedy)
13. Sightseers (Foreign) 
14. In the Mood for Love (Foreign)
15. Young Adult (Drama)
16. Beautiful Boy (Drama)
17. Me and Earl and the Dying Girl (Drama)
18. Youth (Drama)
19. The Fall (Fantasy)
20. The Grand Seduction (Comedy)

I have only been back at work for two days and I have already found my number one hidden gem movie of the year! How good is that? And when you are as movie obsessed as I am and constantly thirsting for quality entertainment, then that is something to get happy about!

That time has rolled around again, the time for me to collate all of my viewing efforts and put forward my recommendations for the best viewing choices of 2018. As I have mentioned before, quality television really dominated my time this year and I gave more 5 Chilli Pepper ratings to TV series than I gave to movies this year. To be honest, overall I do feel that the quality of movies this year was not as strong as it was in 2017, and I feel like I watched a lot more mediocre movies than I did last year as well, but sometimes that happens. 
In total I viewed 253 movies in 2018 and 133 TV series (some of which had several seasons). I have watched programs across every genre, and I can honestly say that there were excellent offerings in all of those genres in both movies and television. This year I am not going to list my least favorite viewings for 2018 because I have made myself a new years resolution to be more positive and to not focus on the negative things, so to list the worst things I saw in 2018 would be counterproductive to that resolution. Besides, as I have said before, even if I didn't love it, doesn't mean that someone else won't or that it is rubbish. At the end of the day, even the movies that we don't really enjoy have required a lot of time, money and effort to be produced; to shit on someone else's dream or vision is a pretty lousy thing to do, so I am choosing not to go there. 
I hope that you find something on these lists that you have not seen yet and can hopefully now explore. For full reviews of all of the recommended movies below, just go to the appropriate genre tab at the top of the page.
So without any further ado, here are my TOP MOVIE CHOICES (2018 release):  

• ROMA - Foreign 4.5 Chilli Peppers
• Hereditary - Horror 4.5 Chilli Peppers 
• Beautiful Boy - Drama 4.5 Chilli Peppers 
• Isle of Dogs - Kid Friendly 4.5 Chilli Peppers
• BlacKkKlannsman  - Drama 4 Chilli Peppers 
• A Star in Born - Romance 4 Chilli Peppers 
• The Tale - Gritty 4 Chilli Peppers 
• Paddington 2 - Kid Friendly 4 Chilli Peppers 
• Avengers: Infinity War -  Super 4 Chilli Peppers 
• The Ballad of Buster Scruggs - Art House 4 Chilli Peppers 
• Upgrade - Science Fiction/ Action 4 Chilli Peppers  
• John Leguizamo: Latin History for Morons - Documentary 4 Chilli Peppers 

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

• A Quiet Place - Sci-Fi/ Horror 3.5 Chilli Peppers
• Annihilation - Sci-Fi 3.5 Chilli Peppers
• Black Panther - Super 3.5 Chilli Peppers
• Ready Player One - Fantasy 3.5 Chilli Peppers
• The Breaker Upperers - Comedy 3.5 Chilli Peppers
• Searching - Crime 3.5 Chilli Peppers
• Game Night - Comedy 3.5 Chilli Peppers
• Love, Simon - Romance 3.5 Chilli Peppers
• Bohemian Rhapsody - Drama 3.5 Chilli Peppers
• Blockers - Comedy 3.5 Chilli Peppers

Here are my top recommendations for pre- 2018 releases that I didn't see until 2018: 

• Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri - Drama 5 Chilli Peppers (Hall of Fame)
• Bright Star - Romance 4.5 Chilli Peppers
• Wind River - Drama 4 Chilli Peppers
• Good Time - Drama 4 Chilli Peppers 
• The Shape of Water - Fantasy 4 Chilli Peppers 
• Coco - Kid Friendly 4 Chilli Peppers 
• Mudbound - Drama 4 Chilli Peppers
• Call Me by Your Name  - Romance 4 Chilli Peppers 
• Ingrid Goes West - Drama 4 Chilli Peppers 
• Beasts of No Nation - Gritty 4 Chilli Peppers 
• The Tunnel - Foreign 4 Chilli Peppers 

BEST TELEVISION SERIES of 2018: 

• Master of None S2 - Comedy/ Drama 5 Chilli Peppers 
• One Strange Rock - Documentary 5 Chilli Peppers
• Atlanta S2 - Drama 5 Chilli Peppers
• Sharp Objects - Crime 5 Chilli Peppers
• Patrick Melrose - Drama 5 Chilli Peppers
• Kidding - Drama 4.5 Chilli Peppers
• Who is America? - Comedy/ Documentary 4.5 Chilli Peppers
• Here and Now - Drama 4.5 Chilli Peppers
• Maniac - Sci-Fi 4.5 Chilli Peppers
• Lemony Snicket's a Series of Unfortunate Events S2 - Fantasy/ Kid Friendly 4.5 Chilli Peppers 
• Mosaic - Crime 4 Chilli Peppers
• The End of the Fucking World S1 - Crime 4 Chilli Peppers
• Dirk Gently S2 - Fantasy 4 Chilli Peppers
• Barry S1 - Crime/ Drama 4 Chilli Peppers
• AHS - Apocalypse - Horror 4 Chilli Peppers
• Mr Inbetween - Crime 4 Chilli Peppers
• Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat - Documentary 4 Chilli Peppers
• Just Another Immigrant - Comedy  4 Chilli Peppers
• Mr Mercedes S1 - Crime  4 Chilli Peppers
• Wanderlust - Drama  4 Chilli Peppers
• The Miracle - Foreign  4 Chilli Peppers
• Anne with an E S2 - Drama 4 Chilli Peppers

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

• Britannia S1 - Fantasy 3.5 Chilli Peppers 
• Ash vs Evil Dead S3 - Horror/ Comedy 3.5 Chilli Peppers 
• Swedish Dicks S2 - Comedy/ Crime 3.5 Chilli Peppers 
• Future Man - Sci-Fi/Comedy 3.5 Chilli Peppers 
• GLOW S2 - Drama 3.5 Chilli Peppers 
• The Detectorists S2 - Comedy/ Drama 3.5 Chilli Peppers 
• Sabrina the Teenage Witch - Horror 3.5 Chilli Peppers 
• Wellington Paranormal - Horror/Comedy 3.5 Chilli Peppers 
• The Kominsky Method - Drama/ Comedy 3.5 Chilli Peppers 

Today is Boxing Day and I have officially dropped out the other end of Christmas. What I am now experiencing is that numb sense of overwhelment and exhaustion that arrives in the days preceding Christmas time. I have indulged in copious amounts of rich and decadent deliciousness, I have drank enough alcohol to challenge the driest of sailors on shore leave and I have received the most amazing gifts over the last four days. In short, it has been tremendously busy and I have been tremendously spoilt all over again. Talk about your first world problems over here, too much of the good stuff for me that's for sure!
However, it wasn't all take and no give, I really had a wonderful time giving all of the gifts that I had shopped for and I made plenty of treats and delicious eats for others to indulge in. I also did my volunteer shift of Christmas gift wrapping and fundraising for the Salvos as well, so I actually got to give over quite a bit of my love this jolly season. Everyone knows that the giving is generally even more special than the receiving at Christmas time and it was so wonderful to spend time with my family and friends over the last few days in an unhurried, indulgent and relaxing way. 
To be honest I haven't even managed to get out of my pyjamas today, I am having the laziest of days and with the fridge full of leftovers, I won't even need to cook this evening either. Unfortunately, my body clock has not adjusted to holiday time yet and insists on waking me up at 6am, which wouldn't be a problem if I wasn't continually burning the midnight oil at the moment as well. I don't think that I have been in bed before midnight since I finished work last week, and the lack of rest is starting to get a hold of me. 
Tiredness affects people in all kinds of ways, some people get cranky and moody, others get dozy, but I get vague, really, really vague. People can have entire conversations with me and I won't hear a word of it because I am off with the pixies. I also do really stupid things like lose my glasses (which are perched on top of my head) or put things away and forget where I put them. I suppose that I am just getting a really good glimpse into my future, because from what I have heard, people in their old age do a lot of wacky stuff like that all of the time. However, I also get really annoyingly foggy and I can't focus on anything for very long, everything seems much harder than it actually is and I am really only good for one thing, movie marathons and TV bingeing.
Am I using my tiredness as an excuse to hit the couch hard for a couple of days? Probably, but I don't feel guilty about that, it is the holidays after all and I have well and truly earned my right to be lazy and disconnected for a while. The time to unplug and tune out has finally arrived, so I think I might watch something a little on the slanted side because my mind is already there after all!

I cannot deny that the fatigue of a rather long term has begun to set in over the last week. Since the beginning of December I have attended seven dinner events, two graduations, five after hours appointments, two breakfast dates, squeezed in a trip to the movies and not missed a day of work in the process. I have also finished my Christmas shopping, wrapped all of my presents, sent off my Christmas cards, put up the tree and decorations, planned my Christmas menu and volunteered to work for the Salvos and wrap presents on the Sunday before Christmas. I don't want to brag, but I am bloody well going to because I am slamming this Christmas so hard!
With only two days of work left, I am starting to feel the drag of this busy time of the year weighing down on me, which means that I need to shift my focus back to the positive things that have lead to me to this point in the year. I admit that I am ready to unwind a little, and I probably deserve to because I have been going at it like the clappers, and even though work will fall into blissful respite for a while, I still have quite a lot to do between now and the new year, which at this stage looks like a sweet lull from the busyness for me. However, no matter how you look at it, it is always easier to get  more done when you are on holidays and things don't ever feel like a chore when you are marching to the sound of your own drum and don't feel compelled to adhere the time constraints of paid employment. 
Overall, 2018 has been an absolutely massive year for me in every way, absolutely positive that is. I have incorporated so much new learning and self discovery time into my life this year, and for that reason I have a much fuller and richer life than I have ever had before. I have worked really hard to develop routines that have offered me a healthier lifestyle overall; one that embraces me in mind, body and spirit, and I have reaped a  lot of rewards for those efforts. I have also worked harder at my employment, taking on new skill sets and trying out new experiences on a level that I would never have had the confidence to do before, which has pushed me out of my comfort zone but made me grow as a person. And I also believe that I have worked really hard to cultivate meaningful relationships in my life this year by nurturing the positive and uplifting relationships that I am lucky enough to have by spending more time with people who stimulate, entertain, enchant, respect and interest me, which has made my family and social life incredibly enriching and deeply satisfying. 
On all fronts, I feel blessed. Blessed to have had the year that I have had, blessed to be able to spend Christmas time with my family and friends and blessed to have grown as much as I have this year. And even though I have no idea what kind of fuel is carrying me across the finish line of Term Four this year, I am deeply thankful for it and cannot wait to see what lies ahead for the rest of this wonderful season of celebration. 

I love stories about magic, especially ones about witches, wizards, warlocks and far off enchanted lands. I have always been, for as far back as I can remember, completely allured by tales that involve witchcraft, magic and wizardry, which probably makes me the biggest geek in the world, but I don't care, they're awesome! I have spent many hours of my life absorbed in otherworldly realms, and I do not regret a single moment that I have spent in those places escaping the predictability of my  regular life. 
I suppose that I have always felt like there was quite a bit of magic that really does exist in the world, and the idea of there being a lot more of it going on than the average muggle could ever see has always excited me even further. As an adult reading the Harry Potter series, I was overwhelmed with joy to be losing myself in a world steeped in magic and mystery every time a new book came out, and although I love to read books and watch movies of all kinds, magical ones will always have a special place in my heart.
My first encounter with any kind of magical being came in the form of a troll from the story of The Three Billy Goats Gruff. It was a tale that my father would read to me as a small child, and it terrified me completely. The very idea of some troll living under a bridge that could jump up and snatch anyone off the bridge as they passed by was really scary as a child, and in the book he was described as having huge hands, a long nose like a broomstick and eyes as big as saucers. The image that accompanied the story in the book that we had was truly horrid and I was shit scared of it. I had an unspoken fear of bridges for years because of that book. However, in spite of how horrid that troll was, he did ignite an interest in the unseen world for me and once ignited, that interest never went out.
And so I began my love affair with magical escapism, and escape I did. I escaped during my lunch breaks in primary school, I escaped in my bedroom as a child, I escaped in the garden as a pre-teen and I even escaped in my nana's chook shed as a preschooler. As a child I escaped as often as I could and whenever I could, and literature was my main source of escapism; but it certainly didn't end there. 
As an adult I escaped to the much more potent world of real life escapism, and I found that in practises of the occult. Now before you get any ideas about chasing me down with pitchforks, you really need to calm down, it was a long while ago and I hung my broom and cloak up years ago, so there's no need to panic. At first I just started with dabbling in crystals, chakras and auras, which are pretty fluffy forms of occultism, and then eventually I moved on to using tarot cards and eventually graduated to spellcrafting. No, I wasn't beheading chickens or casting pentagrams of blood, it wasn't anything that extreme, it was purely experimental, mostly performed with curiosity and certainly non-violent in its makings.
However, let me assure you all, that what I did discovered through all of this 'escapism' is that there most certainly are unseen and hidden things in this world, and they are far happier being left the fuck alone! So don't even bother purchasing a ouija board or attempting to summon up spirits because you are most certainly not Sabrina the Teenage Witch, and crafting is most definitely not for meddlers. My advice is, stick to the movies, TV and literature, it is a far more fun, hassle-free and relaxing way to access magical escapism and there is no risk of biting off more than you can chew because you can just switch it off when you've had your fill!

One thing that I sure do love about having some extra recreational time in my life is being able to curl up on the couch with a coffee in one hand and a fabulous novel in the other and just read for hours without interruption. Reading is such a pleasurable activity and it is something that so often gets pushed to the wayside for me when I get really busy and it is something that I definitely look forward to indulging when time allows. I try hard to read at least one book and one entire magazine every month (Empire is my preferred choice) and if I don't read at least 10 books over the year, then I feel like I have failed terribly on the reading front. 
These days more and more people are reaching for an e-book for convenience and ease when it comes to their reading needs, but there are actually some extraordinary and scientific reasons to pick up a 'real' book and lose yourself, and a lot of those reasons are linked to health and wellbeing.  
Firstly, and probably foremost, reading increases your intelligence. Remember Dr Seuss' old chestnut? - "the more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you'll go."  Well, there is quite a lot of evidence to support that statement and according to a paper from the University of California, people that are exposed to higher amounts of vocabulary through literature and conversation have higher academic performance and higher IQ's in general.
Reading a 'real' book over a 'screen' book will also increase your reading speed by as much as 20-30% and a real book has been proven to engage memory more significantly than a screen book can because the physical act of turning a page offers your brain a tactile reference to the context which helps you to recall the information with more accuracy in the future. So if it's a reference or study book that you are reading then you should always opt for the real version over the e-book. 
Reading works for your brain in the same way that jogging works for your cardiovascular system, and regular reading improves your brain's memory function, which helps to keep your mind sharper and your processing abilities honed. In turn, that reduces your chances of having lowered mental function and cognition as you get older. And it is now a well known fact that people that read, play chess and complete puzzles are up to 2.5 times less likely to get Alzheimer's disease than people who don't, which proves that reading is actually vital to maintaining excellent mental functions.
Reading has also been scientifically proven to improve empathy and an understanding of other people's mental states. Turns out that every time that you get 'lost' in a novel, that you are actually building up the skills in your brain that allow you to understand complex social relationships and the characteristics of human societies. Which basically means that reading makes you more emotionally intelligent in the long run. 
On top of all that, reading also helps to reduce stress levels by up to 68% and reading before retiring in the evening has been proven to offer a more restful and sound sleep, but again it needs to be 'real' book and not a screen novel that you are reading, because looking at a screen before you go to sleep has the opposite effect. 
If all of that hasn't convinced you that you need to read more often, than I don't know what will. Seriously, go and get a book and get reading, it is so good for you! And if you don't know what to read, well of course I have you covered there as well!
Here is a list of 20 of my all time favourite books (in no particular order) for you to get lost in if you need a good place to start:

1. The Harry Potter Series by J.K. Rowling (my fave book series of all time)
2. Life of Pi by Yann Martel
3. Ready Player One by Ernest Cline
4. Let the Right One In by John Ajvide Lindqvist
5. Going Bovine by Libba Bray
6. I Am Legend by Richard Matheson
7. The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern
8. The Solitaire Mystery by Jostein Gaarder
9. The Industry of Souls by Martin Booth
10. Geek Love by Katherine Dunn
11. Big Brother by Lionel Shriver 
12. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time by Mark Haddon
13. Interview With the Vampire by Anne Rice
14. Crank by Ellen Hopkins
15. Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell by Susanna Clarke
16. The Bartimaeus Trilogy by Jonathan Stroud
17. Like Water for Chocolate by Laura Esquivel 
18. Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka
19. Gods Behaving Badly by Marie Phillips 
20. The Lord of the Rings Trilogy by J.R.R Tolkien

Toothache really is in a realm all by itself. This week I had a pretty tough week, so tough that I let my entire routine go out of the window because I had to. I was in excruciating pain for days and even though the worst of it is over, I am still basically like a cantankerous bear with a splinter in it's paw. I didn't eat, didn't sleep longer than a two hour stretch, didn't do yoga or meditation, didn't practise any of my usual lessons or even (God forbid) complete a blog. What I did do, between my work hours was moan, groan and lay about on the couch drugged out of my mind watching bullshit TV and hating my life.
How did I get this way? Well let me tell you a little story about heartache and the loss of God....just kidding...it wasn't actually that bad. Let me tell you about the time that a dentist butchered me though....
On Saturday of last week I went to the dentist for my routine six month clean and scale. I didn't have any concerns about my teeth and I was in really good health. I was however seeing a dentist that I wouldn't usually see, which would turn out to be one of my worst errors in judgement ever. My usual dentist has a life of luxury and only works 4 days a week from 9am to 3pm, which renders him pretty much useless to the working class society, so I thought I would do the right thing and not take time off for a routine clean and scale that I would just go to another dentist at the same practise, after all it was for a 20 min check-up not a root canal.
Anyway, this new dentist, let's call him Dr Slaughter, had me in the chair for an hour. He x-rayed, poked about and gave me a very thorough deep clean, which at the time I thought, okay great, obviously I needed all that. And even though I didn't enjoy it, I figured that I must have needed the extra invasive cleaning and told myself that I was getting value for money. 
The first day after the cleaning I was fine, and the second I was mildly uncomfortable, but I have had periodontal work so a little oral discomfort is not foreign to me. By Tuesday, shit was getting real and I had started to take Panadol and Nurofen on two hourly rotations. Let me point out that I NEVER take cope dope, not ever, it has to be serious for me to even go there.
Anyway Tuesday night, no dinner and a little sleep - too much pain. Wednesday I had to travel to Melbourne for a work PD, almost 3 hours each way, that was a long day with a lot of pain, drugged myself with over-the-counter remedies to an illegal level and soldiered on. Picked at a couple of things, didn't sleep again and woke up to thumping, pounding, shooting pains and nausea on Thursday. After being so tired and so empty and so exhausted for so many days I finally crumbled. Tears and tears, I gave in and made an appointment to see the dentist, my usual dentist. 
After some inspection and another lot of x-rays, he confirmed that my teeth were excellent, but some of my gums were so inflamed that they were higher that my teeth in my mouth. Well, that explained the pain alright. Toothache, or in this case, deep gum pain is a special hell all of its own. I have not felt so worn down, unwell, exhausted or overwhelmed by pain since I was in labour over thirteen years ago. It was BAD, so bad. I even had another good cry at the dentist's office and he felt so sorry for me that he called me at home (after hours) the next day to check on me. 
So my teeth were fine, it was a gum problem. I had to be referred to a periodontal expert to have a look as well, but even he was confused because the x-rays looked good. After examining my swollen and agonisingly tender mouth he concurred with what my dentist had said and also believed that some type of bacteria had entered my mouth during or just after the cleaning process when my gums were open, and that Dr Slaughter had caused trauma to my gum area by being too invasive. Basically I had a secondary infection of a fierce kind, one that required strong antibiotics and even stronger pain killers, which my dentist happily prescribed to me. 
Being keen to get some pain relief I went in hard on the drugs, which did give me a most welcomed nights sleep, but did also cause me to violently chunder into the garden on Friday morning after I took too many of them and then tried to drink a coffee. Live and learn. I am a bit of a prescription drug lightweight, and when you never have them, they work really well. So this weekend I have basically been lying about half out of my skull on pain relief and doing as little as possible. The antibiotics are working beautifully and everyday I get a significant reduction in pain and discomfort, so hallelujah to that! 
The lesson in all of this is? Don't ever go to a strange dentist, just organise the time off and see your usual one. Well, that's my take away from all of that anyway. Make an appointment at the slightest hint of 'after' pain before you start to contemplate self-surgery like I was and most importantly don't let one butcher put you off of going to the dentist forever, which is going to be my biggest hurdle now. Honestly, the thought of a dental check up right just sends shivers of dread straight down my spine! 
Thank God for Marvel, who was delivering another delightful instalment of super this weekend, honestly the distraction couldn't have arrived at a better time, and what a mighty fine distraction is was!

I love to imagine that one day I will be able to earn a decent living from watching and reviewing movies. It's a pie in the sky dream I know, but sometimes I like to indulge myself and escape into pleasant daydreams that feature me being important enough to be invited to exclusive movie launches and international film festivals. In these daydreams, I get to see new release movies before anyone else, which would mean that I was constantly ahead of the game and also, because I would be so very important, I would probably also have the opportunity to schmooze with some of the actors and directors behind the scenes; the big wigs and I would be on a first name basis! It's a totally nutty and exceptionally self indulgent daydream, but there is no harm in having gigantic aspirations and as far as I know, no-one has ever died from having ridiculous daydreams. 
I actually think that it is very healthy to have immense and often impossible dreams, even if you know that they are probably, absolutely never, ever, going to happen. I believe that we live in a world that is generally very intolerant to dreamers. Let's be honest, lollygagging and wistfully whiling away the hours are a very frowned upon preoccupation and from a very early age we are encouraged to focus, grow up, take on extra responsibility and make wise (often safe) choices to ensure that our futures are protected and provided for. And yes, some of that is certainly important, but it leaves very little room for flights of fancy, frivolity and the entertainment of intensely improbable dreams. 
I realise that we can't all run away and join the circus or throw caution to the wind and chase the impossible all of the time, but that doesn't mean that we should squash our dreams or ambitions entirely either. Is there any chance that I will become the next David Stratton, Margaret Pomeranz or Roger Ebert? Probably not, but that does not mean that I should never imagine myself sipping champagne on a balcony overlooking the canals at the Venice Film Festival whilst chatting to Martin Scorsese or Michael Fassbender, should it? No, it shouldn't! In fact, my general compliance and commitment to the monotony and repetition of the daily grind should allow me an open all areas, free backstage pass to slip into these crazy and improbable flights of fancy whenever I damn well feel like it!  
Dreaming of the perfect job, the ideal home or a better life doesn't mean that you are not happy with the life that you have now, because I totally love my life and have a billion reasons to be grateful and satisfied with the hand that I have been dealt. However, that doesn't mean that I am not allowed to fantasize about a life that permits me to indulge in all of my passions and receive financial benefits to do so, who doesn't like to daydream about stuff like that? Keeping your dreams and imaginings alive is a way to keep yourself vital, engaged and inspired, it is in no way a sign of displeasure, it is rather the opposite in fact.
Escapism people! It's awesome and it can make a lot of really crappy things a lot more tolerable. Sometimes when I am having a particularly shitty day, it is my daydreams and imaginative flights of fancy that draw me away from my worry and strife. Without these trips down 'in a perfect world' street, who knows how I might feel? Who knows how much of the daily grind I could actually tolerate without a little escapism from time to time? It is much safer to let the dreamers dream I say, there's no harm in dreaming. 
And I am happy to keep my daydreams, however impossible, working vividly in the background of my regular life, and even if nothing even close to those dreams ever does eventuate, who cares? I'm not harming anyone with my hoping and my dreaming, but in my minds eye, I am having all kinds of impossible fun that no one can ever take away from me. And seriously, can you imagine a world without dreamers? That is not a world that I would want to live in, because for all of our discouraging of daydreaming and escapism, we all know that it is the dreamers that really make all of the magic happen in this world.

Seth is currently completely obsessed with the 'Tiny House' movement. He relentlessly tries to convince Craig and I that we should be downsizing and opting to live in a tiny house. Craig tells him that we did once live in a tiny house when we bought our first home, and that it was cramped and that he has just forgotten what that felt like because he was tiny himself back then. Our first house was definitely not a tiny house, however in comparison to where we live now it would seem small. We did have to renovate the crap out of our first home to make it larger and more accomodating for our expanding family needs, and even after we had stretched it to its absolute limits, it just wasn't big enough for our family anymore. However, that doesn't mean that we won't need to downsize sometime in the future, but Seth wants to live in a tiny house right now. 
Now I don't want to deter my son's ambitions to be more environmentally sound and eco-friendly, but there are a few obvious problems with Seth wanting to live in a tiny house in the future, the first being his size. Seth is clearly going to be  bear-man when (or if) he ever stops growing. My side of the family is known for being a sturdy bunch and Craig's side is all height, put those two body types together and add a lot of man hair to that, and you have something that resembles a bear on its hind legs. He is already way taller than me now and he is only 13. These proportions are going to present more than their fair share of problems for Seth in a tiny house, but this has not deterred him. 
The other problem with Seth's tiny house concept is where his tiny house will live, which I can answer immediately, our backyard! I have visions of Seth squeezing himself onto a tiny porch every night in our backyard to go to bed, which in reality will not be downsizing at all, it will be expanding. There is more than enough space here for him in the house, adding another tiny house to our land will not be downsizing! I see the logic in this, unfortunately he does not.
If it was mobile and he could travel with it, that I could understand but to build another smaller house off the size of our already adequate house seems ridiculous to me.
I think that he may just be attracted to the idea of a glorified cubby or tree house if I am being honest about it. As a small child Seth loved to make blanket forts and would hide away for hours under a blanket tossed over a clothes horse or sit in a one man tent with Zoe listening to stories. He has always loved confined spaces and we spent hours extracting from him from under tables and things that he had got himself stuck in as a child, and maybe that longing for small spaces has just never gone away for him. 
I do totally concur with him on the carbon footprint thing though, a tiny house is so much better for the environment and so much cheaper to manage overall, but I would be lying if I said that I didn't love the amount of space that we have out here and that I have grown quite accustomed to a palatial lifestyle. However, in growing accustomed to certain privileges, one must also be responsible for them and Craig and I are both really serious about our impact on the environment. We have put in solar panels as a means of generating green energy and reducing our footprint out here and we do recycle diligently and compost all of our green waste which goes back into feeding our own vegetable patch and garden beds. We use tank water 95% of the time and use grey water on gardens where we can. We reuse everything, only buy or replace things when it absolutely necessary and we never waste food or other precious resources. But who knows, maybe in the future there will be ways to be even more environmentally friendly without having to compromise on life's luxuries or the feeling of having space. I know that I would certainly be all over that. 

The days appear to be stretching out before me lately, and like well worked dough, I can feel myself spreading out over more and more hours of the day. I'm unsure how, but the days do genuinely seem to be getting longer at both ends. I have even started to accidentally double book myself in for appointments and meetings which is always a telltale sign that I'm probably pushing a little too much into my day, but it just cannot be helped. I have a lot of living to do, and I will be damned if I will limit myself or my experiences just to grab a couple of extra hours of sleep!
​For those of you that already know me, you will be well aware that I am a lady who likes to get up early and also stay up late.  My average week day begins at 5.45am and rarely ends before 11.30pm. On weekends I often sleep in until 8.30pm but will then stay up until 2am or later that evening, especially if I am on a movie watching binge. I suppose that I am actually very lucky to be able to get away with an average of six hours of sleep a night and still feel pretty terrific most of the time. 
I am so conditioned to sleeping less hours at night, that I generally feel quite horrid when I sleep more than eight hours these days, not to mention the amount of anguish that I feel about all of the things that I could've squeezed into that time that I just wasted sleeping! I need all 18 of my waking hours a day to get everything done that I want to do, not that I have to do, that I want to do.
There are things that we all must do daily that do take a big chunk out of our time, they are the necessary things like eating, showering, housework and your paid employment, all of which can also be enjoyable, but odds are they aren't necessarily your favourite times of the day. I am talking about the time that we all need to set aside for the things that we love to do. The things that you do, not because you have to, but because they are your passions. They ignite you and help you to get through all of the other necessary crap so that you can really pursuit your hobbies, your joys and your ways of defusing the world and getting into your own  zone. 
I have a few such passions, and if I don't find the time to indulge in them daily, I can become a bit of a crank. It is amazing how quickly our passions can become our obsessions, and I admit that I am guilty of indulging in my obsessions. Luckily my obsessions are neither dangerous nor illegal, so that's a win, but when you find yourself at the cinema at midnight on a Tuesday evening with friends and you have work the next day, well it's pretty fair to say that you have an obsession, and that you are indulging in it. So glad that it was all for a good purpose though, because this time, my obsession was definitely worth staying up for.

THE SHAPE OF WATER
Release Date: 2017
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 123 mins 
A romance fantasy movie, written and directed by Guillermo del Toro and Vanessa Taylor that will definitely tug at your heartstrings with its whimsical fairytale-esque storyline and adorable characters. After scooping the Golden Globe for Best Director and Best Original Score, The Shape of Water looks like a strong contender for an academy award as well, especially since it has 13 nominations.
​Elise is a mute cleaner (Sally Hawkins) that works at secret government laboratory. She discovers an amphibious humanoid (Doug Jones) that is being held against its will and the two form a secret relationship through a mutual love of proteins and music. When the creature's life becomes endangered, Elise sets about trying to rescue it from the facility, putting herself and the creature at great risk. 
​This movie is so deliciously sweet! The musical score, the costuming, the set design, the storyline, it all works beautifully. The performances are equally strong, with Hawkins delivering a divine portrayal of a pint sized angel, Michael Shannon playing the role of bad-guy Strickland with a terrifying conviction, Doug Jones - a del Toro veteran, is consistently fabulous as the amphibious man and Octavia Spencer, Richard Jenkins and Michael Stuhlbarg all offer solid support roles. 
I haven't liked a del Toro movie for a long while now, however, The Shape of Water proves that he's back, and that he still has what it takes when it comes to making enchanting monster movies. 
FINAL SAY: If we do nothing, neither are we. 
​4 Chilli Peppers ​

It's that time again, the time for me to unleash my viewing loves and loathes for the year of 2017. In total, I watched 279 movies and 62 TV series in 2017, so yeah, it is fair to say that I have a robust addiction to entertainment and that I have a fairly good idea of what is out there.
My biggest undertaking for the year was a rewatch of the entire Lost Series, 121 episodes in total, and although it took me the better part of the entire year to get through, it was worth the effort. Next to the Twin Peaks Reboot, Lost was the next biggest mind fuck of the year for me.
I must say that the bar raises every single year for me because movies and TV are constantly improving in quality and there is a never ending stream of excellent viewing to be had. That makes it a lot harder for me to discern the best,  but also a lot more enjoyable in the long run.
However, without further ado, here are my picks for the best and worst of 2017, my full reviews of these movies can be found on their corresponding genre lists. 
BEST MOVIES OF 2017:

• IT  - Horror  4.5 Chilli Peppers
• A Ghost Story - Art House 4.5 Chilli Peppers
• Mother! - Challenging 4.5 Chilli Peppers
• Blade Runner 2049 - Science Fiction 4.5 Chilli Peppers
• Baby Driver - Action 4 Chilli Peppers
• Dunkirk - War 4 Chilli Peppers
• Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2 - Fantasy 4 Chilli Peppers
• Logan - Super 4 Chilli Peppers
• Get Out - Horror 3.5 Chilli Peppers
• A Dark Song - Horror 3.5 Chilli Peppers
• T2 - Trainspotting - Drama 3.5 Chilli Peppers
• Logan Lucky - Action/Comedy 3.5 Chilli Peppers

BEST CATCH UP MOVIES OF 2017: (Movies released before 2017 that I finally saw in 2017)

• La Grande Bellezza (The Great Beauty) - Foreign 5 Chilli Peppers (Hall of Fame)
• Manchester by the Sea - Drama 5 Chilli Peppers (Hall of Fame)
• Moonlight - Drama 4.5 Chilli Peppers
• Arrival - Science Fiction 4.5  Chilli Peppers
• Nocturnal Animals  -Drama 4.5  Chilli Peppers
• Hidden Figures - Drama 4  Chilli Peppers
• Moana - Kid Friendly 4  Chilli Peppers
• The Edge of Seventeen -Comedy 4 Chilli Peppers
• The Conjuring 2 - Horror 4 Chilli Peppers
• Captain Fantastic - Drama 4 Chilli Peppers
• Samson and Delilah - Gritty 4 Chilli Peppers
• The House of the Devil - Horror 3.5 Chilli Peppers
• The Mermaid - Foreign/ Fantasy 3.5 Chilli Peppers

WORST MOVIES OF 2017:

• Kong: Skull Island - Fantasy 2 Chilli Peppers
• The Great Wall - Action/ Fantasy 1.5 Chilli Peppers
• The Ghost in the Shell - Science Fiction 1.5 Chilli Peppers
• A Cure for Wellness - Horror 1.5 Chilli Peppers
• Loving - Drama 1.5 Chilli Peppers
• Valerian and the City of a 1,000 Planets - Science Fiction 1.5 Chilli Peppers
• Baywatch - Comedy 1.5 Chilli Peppers
• Yoga Hosers  -Comedy 1 Chilli Pepper
• The Bye Bye Man  - Horror 0 Chilli Peppers
• The Greasy Strangler - Art House 0 Chilli Peppers

BEST TV SERIES 2017:

• Big Little Lies - Drama 5 Chilli Peppers
• The Handmaid's Tale - Drama/ Fantasy 5 Chilli Peppers
• American Gods - Horror/ Fantasy 5 Chilli Peppers
• Atlanta - Drama 4.5 Chilli Peppers 
• Godless - Western 4.5 Chilli Peppers
• Game of Thrones S7  - Fantasy 4.5 Chilli Peppers
• Stranger Things S2 - Science Fiction 4.5 Chilli Peppers
• Twin Peaks Reboot - Art House 4 Chilli Peppers 
• Mozart in the Jungle - Drama 4 Chili Peppers 
• Alias Grace - Historical Drama 4 Chilli Peppers 
• AHS - Cult - Horror 4 Chilli Peppers
• Peaky Blinders S4 - Historical Drama 4 Chilli Peppers
• Better Things - Comedy 4 Chilli Peppers
• A-Typical - Drama 3.5 Chilli Peppers
• Girls - Final Season - Drama 3.5 Chilli Peppers
• The Sinner - Mystery/Drama 3.5 Chilli Peppers

As far as bad TV series go, well I was so busy watching really high quality TV that I managed to miss all of the shit this year, so I'm not even putting in a category for that. To be honest, I think that this year may have been one of the best of years for quality TV that I have ever known, which fills me with a lot of hope for 2018. 
Hopefully you will find something on my lists that you haven't seen yet and will now go and see on my recommendation. Also, you now know what to avoid like the plague if you should have the misfortune of coming across it.
I hope that the holiday period is being kind to you all, happy viewing!

IT
Release Date: 2017
Rating: R 18+
Running Time: 135 mins 
A supernatural horror directed by Andy Muschietti and based on the highly successful 1986 novel of the same name by Stephen King. Clearly audiences are thirsting for excellent retro horror tales because IT swiftly became the highest grossing horror film of all time and the third highest grossing R rated movie of all time. 
It's 1988 in a small American town called Derry and something insidious is lurking in the sewers; an ancient evil that feeds on the fears of children and presents itself as a clown called Pennywise. Seemingly invisible to adults, Pennywise starts to abduct the children of Derry, and turns its sights on a tight group of friends called The Losers Club. 
With all of the terrific friendship dynamics  and comradery of The Goonies, Stranger Things and Stand By Me  and all of the creepiness of a James Wan horror, IT has a formula that works on so many levels. Not only is there a creepy as all shit clown torturing the children, but all of the adults in Derry seem to be rather unpleasant as well which adds another layer of turmoil to this already emotionally affecting tale. 
IT is most definitely the best horror movie to come out of 2017. The acting is on point, with Bill Skarsgard delivering one of the most memorably disturbing horror characters of all time in Pennywise. He is however exceptionally well supported by a young and fresh faced cast who are all bringing their A game here as well, with notable performances being delivered by Finn Wolfhard, Sophia Lillis, Nicholas Hamilton and Jeremy Ray Taylor.
The visuals are certainly dark, dreadful and nightmarish; but the coming of age story that is playing in the background is not at all drowned out by the grim effects, which was really pleasing to see. IT is a true horror gem and a must see movie for fans of quality horror.
FINAL SAY: We all float down here. 
4.5 Chilli Peppers ​

It's December. What what? How on earth did we get here so damn fast? This year has travelled at the speed of light as far as I am concerned, and here we are back on the threshold of the silly season whilst my head is still processing the events of the last one! Nevermind, we are here and we are alive and well, so let's be merry and get this thing started I say!
We kicked off our Christmas celebrations at Enfield this weekend by putting up the tree, wrapping a few presents and I have even started writing out my Christmas cards. Look at me go! Well, there is really no choice in the matter, I need to be organised. Craig and I don't finish work until the Friday before Christmas, which gives us a two day hiatus until the big day, so it is pretty fair to say that we need to get cracking ahead of time. The thought of dealing with manic last minute shoppers on Christmas Eve doesn't exactly fill me with Christmas cheer, so I am going to try and avoid that scenario as much as possible by getting shit done when I can. 
I indulged in some early Yuletide tipples with Helen last night as we cocktailed the evening away and attempted to watch a few Christmas/ holiday movies. God, so many Christmas movies are shithouse! With the exception of perhaps a dozen or so, the rest are just unwatchable drivel, in the end we settled for watching back to back episodes of Skin Wars and the 1980's best party anthem music clips on Channel V. The good old B52's reigned supreme with 'Love Shack' at number one, knocking out Wham's 'Wake me up Before you Go-Go' which came in second and Madonna's 'Get into the Groove' in third.
I have to admit that I do have a seriously soft spot for eighties music. I think that most people have an affinity with music from their childhood and that decade definitely takes me back. I realised last night that I still haven't gotten over my lust for Madonna's amazing jacket in Desperately Seeking Susan and every time that I see that clip from the movie it reminds me of how cool that I thought she was back in the day and how I longed to be just like her. Not so much these days, but in the 80's she was a style setter extraordinaire. 
I must say, Christmas time never ceases to amaze me, it always brings about such an intense sense of nostalgia. Every year I find myself reminiscing and reflecting on my life in some way. I think that it is impossible to not think about how things have changed in one's life at this time of the year because of the emphasis on tradition and loved ones, Christmas has a way of putting things into perspective. I most certainly do feel blessed to have so many salt of the earth people in my life right now, and that too is one of the best things about Christmas, it makes you count your blessings; and I have so very many things to be grateful for.
What else can I say? I am fortunate and all things considered, it really is a pretty wonderful life. 

Woohoo! I got the job!
I'd be lying if I said that I didn't feel a bit crummy about knocking out my opposition, who would have wanted the role just as much as I did, but at the end of the day I cannot deny that it felt pretty damn fine to be victorious in my pursuits.
​Yes, it is official, I am going to a new school next year to try my hand at something completely different. My new position will see me working primarily with a blind child who is beginning his school journey in Foundation in 2018, which means that I will be required to learn Braille and take on an entirely new skill set. This challenge is extremely exciting to me and I am really looking forward to meeting my new little friend and gaining a better understanding of his needs.
As a learning support officer, you really do gain a great deal of knowledge from each child that you work with and this child will certainly not be an exception to that rule, in fact I envision that this experience will be both challenging and deeply satisfying, which is exactly what I look for in my employment. 
The truly bitter-sweet thing about this new job is that I must now leave my current place of employment, a place that has helped me to grow and that has nurtured me for almost nine years. In doing so, I also leave behind some amazing friendships and relationships that I have cultivated  there as well, and that is going to be the hardest part of saying goodbye at the end of the year.
Most people walk out the door when they quit a job thinking 'good riddance' but I will not be feeling that way at all. You see, I still really like my job and I love that I know everyone that I work with so well and I feel like I belong to a kind of weird and wonderful family when I am at work. Letting go of all of that will not be easy to do, but I am sure that the really meaningful relationships that I have created will continue to flourish even after I go, so there is some solace in that. 
Still, going to a brand new place filled with brand new faces and doing a job that is totally foreign to me, although invigoratingly new, is equally terrifying. I would be lying if I said that there wasn't some trepidation and apprehension tied to this most poignantly bitter-sweet moment right now; but that is the way that change always feels, and busting out of old routines and comfortable predictability takes guts. Right now, this change has come at the right time for me, because it really is a good time to change and try something fresh and new. And even though half of me is holding on tight to what I have, the other half has already started to let go and to reach out for something new.
You have to listen to those little voices inside of you that tell you that it time to give something else a shot or to let go of old mindsets, because that is when the real growth occurs. Someone famous once said that we would never reach new lands if we were always too afraid to leave the shore. Well, not me, I am leaving the safety of the shore and I can see new land across the sea; I am going on an adventure!

Spent my Sunday afternoon celebrating Craig's niece's expectant baby at her baby shower today. Lots of lady laughs and fun and games to be had as we sat about nibbling and chatting and rubbing the expectant tummy for the better part of the afternoon. There is nothing like an expectant baby to get ladies clucky and tongues wagging about labour experiences and the highs and lows of pregnancy. I am always surprised by the incredible clarity that women can recollect what is more than likely, one of the most challenging and/or painful experiences of their lives. 
Seriously, women can remember incredible details about the birthing process, like the exact time that their child was born, what the midwife said to them, how much their new baby weighed and how many hours they spent huffing and puffing to get them into the world. They remember which foods made them nauseous when they were pregnant and what the trip to the hospital was like, whether it was raining that day or not, how much facial hair the anaesthesiologist had and any number of other somewhat inane details surrounding the event. It is almost like those moments of time become permanently etched into a mother's memory, and every mother has their own unique tale to tell, like a battle wound or scar to bare of their heroic motherly efforts.
Personally I would rather not talk about my child birthing experiences, they weren't fun and they are not events that I look back on with fondness, in fact, they were really traumatic. However, I am more than happy to listen to the stories of others as long as it doesn't scare the shit out of the un-laboured women in the room. Some women's tales of labour woe are enough to frighten off the toughest potential mothers-to-be with their horrific recounts and I believe that some things are better left unsaid in that department.
Fortunately today, we didn't get a lot of that, just a lot of  talk about the discomforts of actually being pregnant. Craig's niece only has 6 weeks to go until ETA, and she still looks nicely compact to me. I remember looking like a sea cow when I was pregnant and feeling like a yeti, but some women just love to be pregnant.
I have no idea how women can be surrogates, being pregnant is so demanding on your body and you really do feel like an alien is going to launch itself from inside of you at any moment and you literally have no privacy when you are pregnant, your body is most definitely not your own. Why anyone would volunteer to do that to themselves for anyone else is beyond me, but I take my hat off to the ladies that can do it, I know I couldn't do it.
​I personally found pregnancy utterly over-rated, labour completely crapola and healing after the effect as much fun as finding a rogue turd in your shopping trolley, but hey, that's just me! I can't have found it too taxing, I did do it twice; and I would be lying if I said it wasn't all worth it, because a billion times over, it is all so very and completely worth it. That first look at the person that you have just made, well....it does make all of the bad stuff seem so very insignificant all at once, and that is one truth that I cannot deny. Your own newborn will most definitely take your breath away. 

We have all been asked the question 'if you were an animal, what kind of animal would you be?' And this questions always gets people chattering, because there is a lot of difference between choosing the animal that you would like to be, and choosing the animal that you are really most like.  
Who doesn't want to be a majestic eagle, or a graceful dolphin or a fiercely proud lion? We all do, and if I was going to choose a animal that I would most like to be, it would without a doubt be a cat. Some lovely looking, domestic, pampered puss that gets to sleep on a bed all day, eats exceptionally well and gets patted all the time. Much like my own cat, only not as old because she is ancient now. However, if I was keeping it real, I would most certainly not be a cat. Cats are lithe, fast, graceful and clever; so no, I could never pull off a convincing cat, Garfield perhaps, but not really any other sort of cat.  
If I was keeping it real, I would have to say that I could probably manage a kookaburra, due to the loudness of my laugh and the fact that they are usually just seen hanging around not doing a great deal except cracking up and eating the odd meaty morsel, and they are early risers like me as well. Not really sure about being an air animal though, I am not a huge fan of heights and I am definitely a land lubber, so perhaps not a kookaburra after all. 
So, in the hope of finding some clarity, I went online and took some tests on the topic, and here is what I found out​.
Spiritanimal.info said I was a lion, a relentless fighter with courage and strength, often wild and difficult to control.
Brainfall.com said I was a whale (thanks brainfall.com!) because I have a strong inner voice and I am in touch with reality.
Playbuzz.com said I was a buffalo because I am strong, reliable and tenacious.
Whatismyspiritanimal.com said that I am a bee because I can co-exist in peace and create abundance. 
Spirithood.com said that I am a wolf because I am social, loyal and highly intelligent. 
So....after all that I really don't have any idea what my spirit animal actually is and I am not any closer to finding out because there was no overlapping animal there at all.
However, as I predicted, not a bird in sight so I am probably not a kookaburra! Perhaps I am just a combination of all of those things at different times, maybe as humans we cannot identify as one animal anyway because our lifestyles allow us to be so changeable. I know that on some days I certainly feel more like a whale than a lion that's for sure! 

When things get crazy and hectic, as they so often do in life, it's so important to search a little harder and dig a little deeper; and for want of a better way to describe it - find the shine in your life.
Sometimes the shine can be extremely hard to find, on certain days, it can be downright elusive; on some days it can feel like there is no real shine left in the world to find at all. On those less than average days when everything and everyone appears to present another obstacle or opposition, you can end up feeling completely depleted and deflated by the world and it's constant pressures. Those are the days that require double what it takes and they are most definitely the days when we especially need to nurture ourselves and find a little gold or a tiny pearl amidst the muck and the mire. 
Don't lose hope, there are some pretty easy ways to restore your faith in humanity and re-find the shine, so relax dear readers, I got you covered! Studies have shown that just thinking about the happy times in our lives can boost the serotonin levels in our brain. Serotonin is the essential component in the prefrontal cortex of the brain and it regulates your  emotions and your self-reflection abilities. Basically, the more serotonin that you can get into your brain, the better that you will feel, and since serotonin also has the power to override old panic patterns it's great for generating a calm mind and disposition.
So, thinking happy thoughts is actually really beneficial to your health, and it will most certainly help to lift you out of your funk on a less than terrific day. As Maria sang in The Sound of Music - "when the dog bites, when the bee stings, when I'm feeling sad, I simply remember my favourite things, and then I don't feel so bad."  And it turns out that she was quite right about that because just thinking about things that make you happy will lift your spirits and make you see that the world really isn't so bad. 
Here are some other quick fix remedies that I like to use for particularly funky days or whenever the need arises (I hope that they may serve to also help you find your gold or tiny pearl next time you need one). 

• Have a laugh - watch a comedy, share a funny story over the dinner table or phone a friend that has a good sense of humour.
• Pamper yourself -  have a home foot spa, paint your nails, force someone to give you a back rub, dye your hair, have a face mask....you get the picture. 
• Surround yourself with beauty - get to the local gardens, bush areas or to an art gallery, or if hotties are more your style then hit the town.
• Get out of your own way - plan an excursion or an overnight stay to break the cycle, just get out of the house and stop mulling things over!
• Get active - walk it off, run it off or dance it off (Shake it off!)
• Perform a random act of kindness - doing nice things for other people has been scientifically proven to again, boost the serotonin levels in your noggin' - so go and be kind and spread some love around.
• Re-read or re-watch  something you love - must be an oldie but a goodie.
• Soak it out - full on deep bath, tonnes of bubbles, wine in hand and stereo blasting something awesome in the background!
• Watch some harrowing movie or documentary about people that have truly shithouse lives and then smack yourself upside the head for not realising how great your life actually is - works for me!

There are certain life situations and conditions that really raise my anxiety, tweak my nerves and just plain annoy the shit out of me. I'm 100% aware of my own triggers, but it is impossible to completely avoid all of one's triggers all of the time, so instead I have adopted strategies and creative ways to cope with them when they happen, so that I don't fly off the handle like an irrational psycho like I used to do in the good old days. 
Some things that really grind my gears and get my knickers in a twist (aside from the obvious ugly stuff like racism, poverty, sexism, abuse etc. that everyone who is sane hates) are things like:
Having too many things to focus on at one time.
Constant interruptions.
Manipulators.
People that want me to change.
The selfish and the delusional - sometimes mistaken for the young and the restless.
Criticism, conflict and lack of harmony. 
People that dismiss my feelings.
People being fake or superficial - on the inside, cosmetic surgery doesn't bother me in the least.
People making assumptions.
Being yelled at.
People that are late.
Being around lots of people, especially at parties.
Not getting any down time.
Constant noise or loudness.
Lack of closure.
And that is really just the tip of the iceberg, I could go on for hours about the things that flip my burger, but what would be the good in that? You see it's not really about what makes you anxious or who makes you annoyed, it's all about how you cope with it. And I believe it all comes down to what you can control and what you cannot control.
If you can control what is stressing you out, then by God take control immediately and fix it! If you cannot control what is stressing you out then you have to get creative, you have to get some stellar coping skills and learn to channel your anxieties into something positive and fruitful. The only way that you can really do that is to truly get to know your own triggers by finding out what it is that makes you feel stressed out.
You have to know what you need to avoid to remain sane, what you need to learn to accept that is completely  unavoidable and you especially need to know what you should push back against and wrestle to the ground. It's like pulling out weeds or 'tending to the garden of the soul.' 
I myself am a great advocate of clothing and feeding my own demons, it's a practise that I indulge in regularly, and now I really know what is going to 'get me going' well before it gets too close to me. Yes siree, I know my own monsters alright and I know just what to do when one comes calling for me these days, and it isn't run in the opposite direction screaming anymore I can tell you that much. Nope, I'm all about staring down my monsters and facing them head on; because I may not be able to change them, but I do prefer to see them coming! 

How the hell has a third of the year already gone by? I'm still recovering from last Christmas, how can we already approaching the halfway mark of another year? It is utterly perplexing to me how every year the days seem to get shorter and shorter, and I am not really packing more things in, just maintaining the status quo, so how does this keep happening? At this rate, years are going to feel like they are a few months long by the time I get to be 70! They say that time flies when you're having fun, but it hasn't exactly been all shits and giggles, so that theory doesn't hold any water either. Time just goes by, in a flash, in a moment and there is nothing that can stop its relentless forward march; and suddenly we are already a third of the way into 2017. 
​It is not until you stop and take stock of the year thus far that you begin to realise how much you have already accomplished, but also on some fronts, how little you have achieved. With the majority of the year still available it is always a good time to reflect on what still needs attention. I would like to offer a little more time this year to painting. I haven't even picked up a paintbrush yet this year. I am longing for a couple of undisturbed weekends in front of a canvas with a glass of good wine in one hand, a paintbrush in the other and something soulful on the stereo. That sounds so wonderful to me, that and curling up with a good novel for hours. I haven't been reading as much as would like to either, but I find that as soon as I pick up my book off the bedside table lately I am asleep with it in my hand only moments later. So annoying!
I love to contemplate all of the amazing things that I could get done if I didn't need to sleep, the possibilities are just endless; how awesome would that be? I wish that my battery never ran down at the end of every day because I would have read a million more novels by now, and watched a billion more movies. I definitely would have completed more art pieces, knitted more clothing, drawn more pictures, baked more delicious cakes, created more things and reviewed way more movies; but most of all I would've had a lot more time to spend with the ones that I love. Most of the time I feel like sleeping is such a dreadful waste of my life, I try not to give more than six hours a day to it generally because I begrudge giving up any more of my life to it. Sleep! Boo -it's totally overrated in my books! Shame that it is so damn necessary I reckon.
​Anyway, the next school holidays will definitely offer me the chance to do those neglected and much missed things, and I fully intend to batten down the hatches and spend as much time as possible hibernating out at Enfield over the June/July break. It'll be movie marathons in the evenings, painting, baking and reading in the afternoons, and long brunches after zenning out with yoga in the mornings. That is one of the best things about living in a house that you have built yourself to meet your own needs, you never really feel like you need a holiday from it. I can easily while away entire weeks out here without even contemplating going into town, I love being tucked away from the world. Besides, everything that I need is already here, including my paint easel and my pile of unread good books, I've truly got it made. Looks like my winter break is already planned. Must say though, in spite of my need to sleep, I certainly haven't been neglecting my movie intake in any way, there are certain things that I just cannot sacrifice! 

I am already getting tired, really tired, and it is only week three of Term One! These obvious cracks that are starting to occur are making me feel weak and pathetic, but I am honestly feeling really exhausted at the moment. Perhaps it is just the new routine, perhaps it is all just part of getting back into the swing of things, perhaps it is the fact that I get up at 5.40am and don't really stop until 9pm and then feel obligated to watch a movie or something of equal length and effort, perhaps, perhaps, perhaps! Who knows or really cares why I feel so tired, I just do bloody well do! 
If I'm being completely honest with myself about it though, I know that it is because I take on too many things and put my own well being on the back burner for others. So, from this point forward, I have decided to trim as much fat off my life as I can. Yes, I know that I also need to trim some off my fat arse too, but I digress. What I need to do first is minimise the shit that I feel obligated to do and learn to set limits, not just for myself, but to also let others know that I am not a slave to their needs.
Quite often when people set limits like this, others see it as a negative thing or a selfish thing, which I know I have thought of others myself in the past, but not anymore! If it isn't serving me then it can fuck right off as far as I am concerned. I am culling the unneeded, slaying the undesired and destroying as many obstacles to my zen state as possible. This is not a dress rehearsal, this is my life! I want to maximise the good, find my bliss in every moment and live by my own terms and I don't think that there is anything wrong with that.
I actually got to flex my new found fat trimming abilities already this week when I wrote an email to my team at work outlining my dissatisfaction with a current responsibility that I had been lumbered with because it was really making me feel unhappy. The problem was fixed within a day, what a result! And when Seth's friend called last night and asked if Seth could come bowling at 10am on Sunday, I politely informed him that 10am on a Sunday was not a respectful weekend time slot, so he and his very strict and almost militantly driven mother actually changed the time to 11am, again result! 
It is of no service to the self to just take shit you don't want or need on the chin, and there is nothing virtuous about grinning and bearing it. I really don't think that life was meant to be endured, and I have no intentions of enduring things anymore. From now on: no purpose, no joy, no interest; that's my motto and that's just how it has to be!

I have slipped back into my square peg mode again. I am currently not running in sync with the rest of the world, I am walking to the beat of a different drum, a drum that apparently only I can hear. Those of you that know me well or visit my blog regularly would know by now that this is not an isolated experience, it happens to me from time to time.
When you start to take yourself to bed at 9pm with a bowl of ice-cream to watch Twin Peaks to escape the world, you know that things have gone beyond pre-menstrual and into the land of the totally askew. I also sat up on Friday night until 3am writing angry drunken poetry because that's the sort of weird arse shit that I do when I am like this. I don't really understand the process of this mode properly  myself so I tend to just go with it.  
I really don't know how I can best describe what it is that I am feeling. The world is just upside down for me right now. Everything and everyone is operating on a completely different frequency to me and I am struggling to find common ground and harmony with people. We aren't speaking the same language, we aren't wandering the same hallways, we aren't sharing experiences. It's that kind of thing, and it isn't new for me, I know this feeling utterly, it is not foreign and it is not that concerning to me anymore.
The trouble is that I know that other people find me downright weird when I get like this, and I don't mean to weird people out or offend them with my anti-social behaviours. I'm aware that I am odd and I totally get that it's hard for people to understand me when I am like this because this is not really 'normal' behaviour. Honestly though, I gave up on 'normal' a long time ago and settled for odd, but continuously thinking you're odd is not conducive to self-repairing and moving on from these states, so I try not to linger in those thoughts for too long. I think that everyone feels out of touch at times, I just seem to do it more than other people, but I could also be wrong about that. 
Anyway, in spite of my 'other page' antics, life doesn't just stop because I am having a minor malfunction, it keeps on going, and at this time of the year it is going mighty strong! Only days until December and I have already made a dent in my Christmas shopping which is great and I have even dragged out the Christmas decorations in an attempt to lift my spirits and spread some cheer. If only we could stay away from the medical specialists for a few weeks, the doctors bills are killing me! Between Seth's leg fiasco, my visit to the vagina whisperer (Ob-Gyn), Seth's nose specialist and Craig's wisdom teeth (which are coming out on Thursday) I am flat broke. Broke is not a good place to be when Christmas is only 28 days away, hopefully people aren't expecting too much for Christmas from us this year, because they will be bitterly disappointed if they do. 
I am looking forward to a nice calm Christmas this year, I am hoping that I have spread enough good karma around throughout the year to cash in over the Summer so that I can have a nice restful break. I can see it now - just me, the sunshine, a hammock, a bottle of Jamesons and a good book, and it's less than a month away now; that's certainly something to get happy about! 
​
Took Craig, Seth and myself off to the movies in the afternoon today to improve my mood. Nothing like a bit of magic to get you smiling!  

FANTASTIC BEASTS AND WHERE TO FIND THEM
Release Date: 2016
Rating: PG
Running Time: 132 mins 
​Fans of the original Harry Potter franchise are going to love this movie, just as I did. Sure there's no Voldemort or Harry, and there's only a tiny utterance of Dumbledore's name, but what there is, is tonnes of magic; and really exciting adult-based magic at that. 
Brit wizard Newt Scamander (Eddie Redmayne) has just arrived in New York with a suitcase of magical creatures. His somewhat simplistic reason for travel turns to disarray when he accidentally becomes involved with a muggle named Jacob, the American wizarding law enforcement agency and a dark, destructive force called an Obscurus. 
The story is set in 1926, so it clearly prequels the Harry Potter juggernaut, and even though the majority of wizards are American, this still has the same charm and magical splendor that we have come to expect from J.K. Rowling. There are many new magical creatures and concepts to wrap your head around, which makes the entire experience feel fresh without being contradictory or dismissive to the previous British magical world that we have all grown so fond of.  
The cast are just fabulous, especially Eddie Redmayne who just shines as Newt Scamander and Dan Fogler who practically steals the show with his darling muggle antics as Jacob Kowalski the baker. This is a must see movie for all of the magical minded fans that followed the Potter empire from start to end. It was just so great to back in the wizarding world for a couple of hours again. 
FINAL SAY: I ain't got the brains to make this up. 
4 Chili Peppers

Craig and I have been doing a lot of tag teaming lately, working like a well oiled machine to pick up each others slack and share the load. This came into play on Thursday when Seth ran straight into a park bench and took a gouge out of his shin that required stitching. Yes, for the third or fourth maybe (I am starting to lose count) time in the last twelve months, Seth had us sitting through the dreaded waiting room ordeal at the local hospital. 
All manner of freaks of geeks saunter into emergency here, mostly a lot of one-sy toting bogans that have burnt themselves on their sandwich presses or deep fryers whilst preparing an afternoon snack to have while they watch Maury Povich from what I can understand. Whatever the reason, they sure do glut up the waiting room for hours on end with an endless stream of what seriously appears to be things that they should be going to their GP for, not the hospital. 
A lovely three and a half hour wait for Craig, until I tagged him out when I knocked off work, which meant that I arrived just as they were going to commence the procedure. Should an eleven year old have to wait three and half hours for stitches just because he isn't screaming the place down? I know that I have said this before, and I will say it again, the hospital here needs a serious overhaul and about twenty more staff, it is just ridiculous! 
Anyway, back to the suturing. Two shots of anesthetic (he's harder to numb out than a pedigree race horse apparently), six stitches and a still slightly open wound and the job was done, and now the healing can begin. Tough little cookie still went to school the next day, just wanted to say "six stitches, bitches!" to all of his mates I think, that and the fact that there was a sleepover on Saturday night that he was determine to attend, even if they had amputated his leg he would've packed his bag and went I think. 
So, while Seth was at his sleepover, we tagged in Zoe and she came out for the weekend to have a catch up with Craig and I on our own, which is a rare thing indeed. We went into town for a few drinks (soft drinks for me - still rocking sobriety) to celebrate a friends birthday and then got some Thai take away and headed home for some poor quality, B grade classic horror. Managed to round everyone back in together on Sunday afternoon at the cinema, it was time to get me some Burton action. 

MISS PEREGRINE'S HOME FOR PECULIAR CHILDREN
Release Date: 2016
Rating: M
Running Time: 127 mins 
A delightful, and also at times frightening fantasy, adventure story, based on the novel of the same name by Random Riggs and directed by Tim Burton. Having also read the book, this was a decent interpretation, and didn't stray too far from the story line of the novel. With a bevvy of unique and unusual characters to encompass, this was no small feat for Tim Burton to tackle, and I really enjoyed seeing the characters come to life on the big screen. 
Jacob's grandfather has filled his head for years with elaborate and exciting tales about a magical orphanage run by a bird and filled with gifted children. When his grandfather dies under odd circumstances, Jacob begins to entertain the possibility that the tales were actually true and sets out on an adventure to find out for himself. 
​Balancing between whimsical and terrifying, there is a lovely tale to be discovered here about embracing differences and finding strength during difficult times. The cast is just fantastic, with the ever beautiful Eva Green dazzling as Miss Peregrine, veteran Judi Dench lending a professional hand as Miss Avocet and Samuel L. Jackson, who was clearly having a ball hamming up his role as the super villain, Barron.   
FINAL SAY: You don't have to make us feel safe, because you've made us feel brave. 
3 Chili Peppers

Spent this weekend with Zoe and Lachlainn, as they ventured over from Geelong for a catch up in Enfield. It is always so lovely to have them stay with us, it gives me a chance to fatten them up with goodies and spoil them rotten for a couple of days. The everyday stresses of living away from home, juggling work and study can certainly take their toll, and I like to try to alleviate some of that when they come over by letting them take a break. I know that I enjoy letting other people spoil me and take care of the thinking on occasion; hopefully Zoe and Lachlainn feel a sense of rest and relaxation when they come around because I do like to try to offer them that.
Just having someone to cook a meal or two can be a really big deal when you usually have to do it all yourself, and I do worry about the kids not getting enough time to enjoy their lives. It is so easy to get caught up in the day to day stuff and money worries when you're starting out that you forget to just enjoy the life you're living, but I suppose that we are all a little guilty of that from time to time. 
In the spirit of alleviating worries and having a few laughs, we all went to the movies on Sunday afternoon to see the new Ghostbusters offering. Craig and I can recall going to see the original when we were around Seth's age, so it was pretty nostalgic for us to go and see the remake. I already had the original (which I really liked a lot) reviewed on my blog, and I have posted it here after the new review as a comparison. 

GHOSTBUSTERS
Release Date: 2016
Rating: PG
Running Time: 117 mins 
After hearing and reading a string of mixed reviews, I wasn't holding out a lot of hope for this reboot of Ghostbusters, so I was pleasantly surprised when it turned out to be a fun and entertaining viewing that was just as good as its predecessor and proof that the ladies can bring on the busting just as well as the boys. 
​Two paranormal enthusiasts, a nuclear engineer and a subway worker team up to try and stop the city of Manhattan from being taken over by otherworldly entities. 
​With a fresh approach from director Paul Feig and a hilarious new cast that included Melissa McCarthy, Kristen Wiig, Kate McKinnon, Leslie Jones and a raucously funny Chris Hemsworth, this movie offered a number of good belly laughs, some great nods to other horror films and also breathed some much needed life back into the lungs of this 30+ year old franchise. 
There are cameos aplenty as the old Ghostbusters cast gets on board to reignite the spectral fuse and I get a sneaky suspicion that this is not going to be the last that we see of these ladies in overalls, especially after what is alluded to after the credits have rolled. Yep there's a little extra hidden footage there to catch, so don't leave the cinema too quickly or you'll miss it.
FINAL SAY: Booyah! Emphasis on the boo. 
3.5 Chili Peppers 

How many movies can they make about superheroes? I really like superheroes, and I am more than happy to watch superhero movies, but jeez...it's just gotten bloody ridiculous! There a few superhero movies that clearly rise above the hordes of mediocrity, like The Avengers, The Watchmen, The Batman Trilogy, X-Men: Days of Future Past and Guardians of the Galaxy, all of which were epic, without a doubt, but it's the millions of spin offs and remakes that are just doing my head in. 
Somebody tell me, why did we need to remake the Spiderman movies? Really, why is that happening? The first lot were perfectly good and interesting. And what the hell is with all of The Avenger spin off films? Thor, Captain America and Iron Man have way too many films floating around, many of which I am sorry to say, actually put me to sleep. 
What began as an exciting trip to the cinema to see something 'super' has now become so heavily overloaded that everyone on the face of the planet has assisted in lining Stan Lee's already bulging pockets. Do we really need so many superhero movies? I mean I am getting a bit jaded these days, picking and choosing and judging, because when it's not on at the cinema it's on TV as well. Agents of SHIELD, Supergirl, Arrow, The Flash, Gotham....groan....when will it all end? Every superhero that has ever been thought of has had a crack at it now, even the crappy ones like Green Lantern, Ghost Rider and The Punisher have had their own movies, none of which was any chop mind you. 
Movie producers have literally gone bonkers with the knowledge that superhero movies get bums on seats, so much so that they are even pitting superheros against each other, I mean Batman vs Superman?  Come on! Why did they even have to go there? Superman isn't even human for god sake, he's super in the most super of ways, you can't match him up against Batman for god sake! A guy with some really cool gadgets and a hot car against an alien that can fly, stop bullets and speeding locomotives, not to mention his x-ray vision? Pu-leez! Is that a fair match up anyway? Did they even watch Man of Steel or The Batman Trilogy before they came to the decision to make this bundle of crap? Who cares if the fans want it? It's shit, it's unnecessary shit! Couldn't we have donated the money that has gone into making these epic shit-piles to feeding the hungry or something? That sounds like a super idea to me! 
And just when I thought that I could stand it no longer, and was about to boycott all comic book heroes forever, along came this ray of sunshine into my life and I had to shut my face, shut it hard - because I fricken loved it! 
Damn you Stan Lee and your bloody brilliant mind, you've sucked me back in again. It's like Godfather 3 all over again! Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in! 

DEADPOOL
Release Date: 2016
Rating: R 18+
Running Time: 108 mins 
Just when my tolerance for 'super' related movie material was at an all time low, Deadpool comes along and smashes my preconceived ideas and delivers far beyond my expectations.
​Slick, smart and incredibly funny, Deadpool comes on strong with it's vulgar humour, gratuitous violence and thrilling pace, breathing some much needed life back into the comic-book 'superhero' genre. 
​Former Special Forces Agent Wade Wilson undergoes a ruthless and rogue experimentation process that transforms him into Deadpool; a hideous and hilarious anti-hero seeking to destroy the man who ruined his life. 
There is nothing revolutionary in terms of story line here, it's a tried and true superhero formula that we've all seen a million times before, but it's the way that it's delivered that gives it so much kick. When Deadpool isn't breaking through the 4th wall, he's cracking skulls and cracking jokes at a dizzying rate, and the humour is funny, really, really funny. 
Ryan Reynolds shines as Deadpool, a role that he is perfectly cast in and delivering on completely. It was good to see Morena Baccarin back onscreen again, after she virtually vanished following the Firefly fiasco, and she does a fine job of playing Deadpool's love interest. 
Overall, expect to be amused and high entertained, the pop culture references are laid on as as thick as the sexy poses and the blood spattering making it wild and unabashed and totally unmissable.
FINAL SAY: I'm touching myself tonight. 
4 Chili Peppers 

Have you ever felt like you were born in the wrong era; the wrong time, the wrong place? I have often thought that I should have been born in the 1950's, a time of cool cars, fantastic fashion and a love of curvy women. A time when everyone smoked, sipped strong liquor from gorgeous glasses and things seemed to be whole lot simpler on the surface. Unfortunately, it truly is just the surface that I like about that time, because we all know that the 1950's was also rife with gender inequality, chauvinism, unwanted pregnancies, prejudices, political unrest and ridiculous ideas about parenting. 
You see no matter which period of time you fall in love with or feel some affinity to, there is always going to be some seriously shitty things that go with that era that will whip the gloss off it quicker than a bottle of turpentine.
If you are someone that romanticizes about living in last century then you have a whole other load of unsavory possibilities to contend with, aside of the magnificent dresses and ballroom events, there was a serious possibility of incurable disease, overwhelming poverty, corporal punishment or even Jack the Ripper! Head even further back in time and it gets even messier, you could be burned at the stake, disemboweled, beheaded, tortured or worse, and these were everyday occurrences. 
Putting it bluntly, there never was and there will never be a perfect or completely safe time period in which to be born, however by comparison we have come a mighty long way and conditions, as pitiful as they appear to be at times, are as good as they have ever been. 
Still though, who hasn't had dreams about wandering the Hanging Gardens of Babylon in their full glory, seeing the Acropolis when Athena still stood tall within it's walls, finding out what really went down at Stonehenge, walking down Hollywood Boulevard when Marilyn Monroe and James Dean were still alive, rocking out at Woodstock or slapping a peanut butter sandwich out of Elvis' hand?
The grass always appears to be greener on the other side, but I'd bet that anyone from those times would've killed to live in a more modern time like ours. A time when people in a first world country can enjoy a life expectancy of over 80 years, can freely express their sexual persuasions, can find the answers to most things at the touch of a button and can even go shopping without anything but a plastic card. But that's just the peachy side, I bet none of them ever had to consider Global Warming, declining forestry, epidemic obesity, slow wi-fi, reality TV, Facebook rants or terrorism either, so that just proves my point, there is no perfect time period in which to be born- there never has been, and there never ever will be. Still though....nice to imagine what a sneak peak would be like now and then, I just know that I would look great in some of those sweet 50's dresses!

With only two short weeks to go, I have finally kicked into proper holiday mode. I have started to sleep later, maybe because I am really burning the midnight oil and rarely hitting the sack much before 2am at the moment, I just have too many movies and TV series to watch! I have also started to chill out and relax, I have cast off the stress, I just don't have room or time for trouble, worry and strife. I have been indulging in all of my self healing activities like drawing and painting, reading, taking regular walks in nature and just being a lot more gentle with myself, that usually does the trick for me.
I took Seth and his friend out to my old teenage haunting ground at Jubilee Lake in Daylesford yesterday. What a blast from the past, I even managed to find the treacherous path that I used to walk everyday between the lake and my house, still there after all these years, albeit a lot more covered in blackberries now. I can still see the attraction of the place, perhaps even more as an adult, it is deeply peaceful and tranquil out there. The ancient trees and lush undergrowth seems to whisper they are so alive and the gentle rippling water is hypnotic and enticing. 
Whilst the boys paddle-boated around in the glorious sunshine, I sat under an old willow tree by the bank of the lake and read my book in the cool shade. We enjoyed some fresh salad rolls for lunch and then walked around the lake and visited the carbonated spring water pump, that has clearly had a major overhaul since my teens. The taste of that eggy, fizzy, sulphated water took me back alright, I never used to carry a water bottle back in the day, so I would often head out to the spring to quench my thirst. I recall it having a more offensive taste as a kid, I actually thought that it tasted pretty good yesterday and it was chilled, just goes to show you how your tastes do change and mature as you get older. 
Filled with nostalgia, and adequate time to smell the flowers, run my hands through the lake waters and observe the butterflies and bees busy at work, I feel quite rejuvenated. If nothing else, I have really learned to identity my personal triggers and my releases this year, which is actually a very zen way to start the year, perhaps it's a sign of better times ahead, but in the very least it is a sign that I am getting to know myself a lot better which is quite possibly the very best outcome of all.

Must say a fond farewell to David Bowie, who left the planet this week. You made me want to be taken by the goblins as a teenager, you made me rock out loud and proud flying my freak flag on many occasions and you were every bit a rock legend 'with your silicone hump and your ten inch stump'. Your music will live on forever. Take your protein pills and put your helmet on David, safe journeys....