The worse part of all was that it happened when everyone else was winding down for the holidays and merry making and feeling jovial and I just wasn't feeling it at all, I just wanted to go to bed, pull the covers up over my head and sleep until Christmas and all the jolly carry on was over this year. I felt deflated, directionless, let down, devalued and to be 100% truthful, I was actually depressed as hell.
Depression does not make you very good company during the silly season, it does not make you fun and it does not make you the life of the Christmas party, it makes you hard work and it makes you a Christmas sad sack. That is what I have been, a Christmas sad sack. I've tried so hard to put on a happy face and join in as best as I can, but god it has been hard.
The food didn't taste great, the wine didn't interest me, the gifts were irrelevant and pointless and everything about the season was a slog. I have never felt so tired, drained and uninterested in Christmas in my life. I just wanted a tap out, from everyone and everything, and most of all from my sad, sad self. How pathetic!
But, it turns out that the universe has others plans for me, which are continuing to unfold themselves on the daily at the moment, but when it comes to my employment choices, well that took a sharp turn at Albuquerque and it appears that my destiny does not lie where I thought it did. Just when I thought that I saw a clear road ahead and a new way through, well I came to realise that that road was never meant for me at all. What I am actually meant to be doing is yet to reveal itself, but what I have been getting is a tonne of messages of a spiritual nature that are leading me back to my spiritual practises and opening new doorways with the right kinds of people.
Offers to join meditation groups, prayer circles, co-incidental meetings of spiritual healers and spiritual practitioners, an overwhelming reaching out in the form of kind messages from fellow meditators and like minded individuals around the globe that have been continuously flooding in, making it impossible for me to ignore the pull towards healing and self care.
And not a moment too soon either, because I have a grandchild on the way in 2024, and if that isn't something worth getting excited about, then nothing is! And I will be damned if I am going to let the funk of 2023 ruin the opportunities of 2024 for me. Nope, all of that bullshit is over and done with now, it is time to leave all of that behind and forge valiantly into a new year, a new me and a new way of being. I feel a lot like a snake that has shed its skin, and now the possibilities seem endless for me. I can literally go wherever I want, do whatever I want and forge out a brand new pathway for myself in whatever fashion I like now.
I have had a seismic shift, a re-route and a complete unravelling of the old me, and now, I look on at the blank canvas before me, ready to be made into whatever I chose for me and my world. What a perfect way to end a year and start a new; 2024 is going to be my best year yet, I can already feel it.
Release Date: 2023
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 138 mins
An apocalyptic thriller with an all star cast that was produced, written and directed by Sam Esmail, who is best known for his epic work on the television series Mr Robot. The strength of Leave The World Behind really lies in the performances, everyone is delivering exceptionally well in this film, which elevates the simple and quite eerie storyline to greater heights because of that.
A family heads away for an unplanned holiday at a remote rental that guarantees that you can 'leave the world behind' when you stay there. Keen for some respite the family rush there and attempt to settle in for some down time when the owners of the establishment arrive unannounced, asking to re-enter their home due to black outs and strange occurrences that are happening in the city.
As with all apocalyptic movies, things go from bad to worse pretty quickly, but in subtle and increasing ways. The whole thing unfolds in an unsettling fashion, but what I loved most about the film was that it was actually implying that America is a completely screwed up country that lacks the ability to save itself when push comes to shove. This is very far removed from the 'Americans save the world' apocalyptic tropes that we have been spoon fed for decades, and honestly it was refreshing.
As I said earlier, the cast is terrific, with notable performances from Julia Roberts, Mahershala Ali, Ethan Hawke and Kevin Bacon and I do recommend a watch, especially if you enjoy apocalyptic tales.
FINAL SAY: There is no going back to normal.
3.5 Chilli Peppers