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SPICYWATCH

Self Talk

4/2/2018

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Self talk is a buzz term for the subconscious voice or inner dialogue that quietly runs in the background of our thinking minds all of the time. This inner voice keeps itself busy by making comment on how we see ourselves or suggesting how we should be doing things for ourselves. We all have a 'self-talk' voice, whether we want to acknowledge that we have one or not is totally irrelevant, trust me when I say that we all do have one. We just aren't really thinking about it, or what that voice is saying to us most of the time.
We are generally quite content to just let our inner dialogue run on auto-pilot, which can be fine if your self talk is usually positive, however, for many of us, that autopilot 'self talk' voice is not very kind or forgiving at all. Letting a negative self talk voice run on autopilot is probably not a very wise thing to do at all because it can have a huge effect on how you feel about yourself and what you choose to do with your life.
The way that we speak to ourselves matters, a lot actually. I have been investigating self talk lately and there has been a lot of studies done on the subject in recent years. As you probably already know, a negative self talking voice can drag people down so much that they can become seriously anxious and depressed, but did you know that persistently unchecked negative self talk has been linked to personality, esteem and body image disorders and can even lead to self harming and suicide? Yep, your subconscious self talk could be seriously sabotaging your chances of being happy and fulfilled. 
​Since considering all of this, I have been seriously paying attention to the quality of self talk that has been playing on autopilot in my subconscious, and I can confidently say that I have been quite unkind to myself for a very long time. There are some things playing on autopilot up there that are actually deeply damaging, even downright nasty! I would never put up with the crappy things that my inner voice says to me from anyone else, and yet I totally tolerate it from my own self, what the hell is that about?  And how long have I been being so unkind to myself? Where did these thoughts come from and why have I allowed this to go on for so long?
My self talk says horrible things about my physical, mental and emotional self that are so harsh, cruel and unloving that I cannot even write them down because they are just so horrid. As a consequence of that, I have learnt to not like certain things about myself, I have actually learned to hate some things about myself, and I have been doing it for almost 44 years!
So, clearly that all needs to change because I have no reason not to like myself, warts and all. I refuse to have some worn out, negative, self talking bullshit running on autopilot in the background of my subconscious any longer! It is time to feel more confident and to move on from old mindset habits and thoughts, they are no longer serving me and these negative thoughts that I have cultivated are only hindering my progress. 
Now whenever I catch myself having a negative self talking session, I ask myself these simple questions in an effort to combat my inner demons:
  • Is there any evidence to support my thinking?
  • What would I say to a friend if I heard them saying something like that about themselves?
  • Is there a positive way to look at this?
  • Am I keeping things in perspective? Is this rational?
  • Is there anything that I can do to change what I am feeling bad about?
That usually seems to do the job, but I would be lying if I didn't say that is hard to break old habits and negative self thoughts, it takes constant and conscious effort to quell those asshole inner voices that try to convince us that we are not enough. I am not nearly out of the woods in regards to conquering my self talk yet, but I've made a start and I think that that is a mighty fine step in the right direction. I am not expecting to ever fully fall in love with who I am, but if I can stop saying terrible things to myself, that  sure would be a terrific place to begin. 
Picture
GOOD TIME
Release Date: 2017
Rating: R 18+
Running Time: 101 mins 

A crime drama directed by Ben and Josh Safdie and written by Josh Safdie and Ronald Bronstein that was nominated for the Palme d'Or at the 2017 Cannes Film Festival. Good Time is a visually unique and gritty ride that pushes the boundaries of love and commitment. 
Connie (Robert Pattinson) and his intellectually disabled brother Nick (Ben Safdie) find themselves on the run after their attempt at a bank robbery goes terribly wrong. After Nick is arrested, Connie desperately tries to gather enough collateral to bail him out, which becomes one long night filled with nightmarish complications. 
This is Robert Pattinson's movie all the way, he is tremendously good as the devoted and desperate brother Connie, showing us more acting chops than the Twilight series ever allowed him to demonstrate. Ben Safdie and Jennifer Jason Leigh also bring strength to this tightly wound script, but Pattinson just outshines everyone with his powerhouse effort.
The soundtrack and cinematography are really interesting and engaging, and although Good Time seems to be teetering on the edge of gritty and art house, it never loses sight of it's clear message about loyalty and love. 
FINAL SAY:​ I think something very important is happening and it's deeply connected to my purpose. 
4 Chilli Peppers

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