Quality television opportunities are arriving in buckets at the moment, and I am seriously struggling to keep up with the high volume of television series that have continually popped up over the last few months. Never in my life have I watched this much television before, and for good reason, there never used to be this much good television to indulge in! These days, that is certainly not the case, because as soon as I finish one series another six sprout up in it's place. It's like whacking the head off a hydra, the more that you cull the more that new ones seem to arise in their place and it is getting harder and harder to squeeze in as many movies as I would like now that I am getting snowed under with television.
And I suppose that's why it is imperative to also be really discerning about which television programmes you put your time and energy into, because you can literally find yourself watching hours and hours of mediocre shit just because the show delivered a strong and promising pilot episode and now you feel compelled to see it through. Trust me, I have been roped into watching a number of TV series for that very reason, and I have since learnt that being faithful to a television series but not discerning about its actual content will waste hours of your life that you will never get back, so don't let a series hoodwink you into watching series upon series of tripe if it's not going anywhere, there's too much good stuff around these days to allow yourself to do that.
Here's my top ten 'avoid at all costs' (aka. what a load of shit) television shows that are not worthy of yours (or anyones for that matter) time:
1. The Walking Dead - probably the most pitifully sad, dragged out, outdated garbage that is still being peddled to the masses. Woefully bad and shameful, I actually feel bad for the cast now, they even look bored delivering it.
2. Modern Family - I think that nine seasons of this has been rolled out now, and it is always the same formula. In nine years not one character has developed beyond who they were in season one, how is that even possible? Blah!
3. The Bachelor / The Bachelorette - why are people even watching shows like this? The premise is awful, the people despicable and the whole concept is deplorable, need I say more?
4.The Exorcist - we did not need to go here, no one needed to go here, I went there...I really wish I hadn't! The movie is more than enough of that thanks very much, can't believe it got 2 seasons!
5. Nailed It! - Any television show that has founded its name from a meme or Youtube channel is never worthy of your time, this is just pitiful viewing. The cakes on this show are bad for a reason, the bakers are fucking idiots!
6. The Handmaid's Tale s2 - started out with some promise, and I was enjoying it, and then.....they totally dropped the ball and went for cheesy and unbelievably stupid story arcs that all had to involve torture or brutal death scenes. Season 1's boots were too big to fill.
7. Snowfall - I sat through two full seasons of this show about drug dealers because I really liked the first two episodes. It did not get better than the first two episodes, but rather proceeded into a slow and arduous decline. I wasted hours hoping it would improve ...a waste of my time!
8. American Survivor - if you thought that Australian survivor was getting sad, think again. American Survivor is gut wrenchingly sad, it is utterly unwatchable in every respect and quite possibly the saddest shit on modern television.
9. No Tomorrow - I was sucked into watching this because it had good online reviews, it was also the last time that I allowed online reviews to dictate what I watch. Think fuzz feel good meets apocalypse and gets all kissy and convenient and you'll be in the wheelhouse. God it was bad. How it got good reviews still kills me.
10. America's Next top Model - I admit that I got pulled back in this year and gave it another go, and I did love to hate all of the bitchy waifs as they fought their way to the top, but at the end of the day it is a dreadful show. Even when they are trying to be all forward thinking with plus size models and a controversial judging panel, everyone knows that the fashion industry is still as deep as a puddle and rife with terrible people.
So there it is, my avoid at all costs television list. Hopefully you won't fall into any of those horrific and painful viewing experiences yourself!
Release Date: 2005
Rating: R 18+
Running Time: 103 mins
A psychological thriller from British filmmaker John Maybury that is partly based on the Jack London novel The Star Rover. The Jacket seeks to explore the idea of a person having extra-corporeal time-travel when placed into an intolerably tight straight jacket.
Gulf War veteran Jack Starks (Adrien Brody) suffers from amnesia and headaches. Whilst hitching in Vermont, he becomes entangled in the murder of a police officer and is wrongly accused of the crime and sent to a mental asylum. His 'experimental' therapy in the asylum involves being bound into a straight jacket and placed into a body drawer in the basement morgue. During his treatments, Jack experiences flashbacks and visions of the future, including a premonition of his own death in a few days time. Jack is now in a race against time, but the odds are stacked highly against him.
I found this an intriguing watch, there are a lot of things going on, but it does chop around a lot, so if you aren't really paying attention you are going to get lost pretty quickly. The asylum is downright creepy and a lot of the film is shot between the mint green shades of the asylum's interior or the stark winter landscapes of the outside world, adding greatly to the feeling of depression and impending doom.
FINAL SAY: No cuddle jacket for me thanks.
3.5 Chilli Peppers