So what exactly do I mean when I say the bigger person? Well, in my opinion the bigger person is someone who can admit to their own faults, forgive others for theirs and move on gracefully from difficult situations or occurrences. Being the bigger person is a totally tough call, because when we are the bigger person we not only have to own our own shit, but we also have to forgive others for their shit as well and somehow find a space to move forward. Being bigger is always great in theory, but when you have to actually demonstrate it, it's a whole other ball game.
For one, you have to fight off your own ego to be a bigger person. No-one wants to hear the bad stuff about themselves, it sucks and having someone else point it out is just torture. Most of us are well aware of our short comings and the last thing that any of us want is for someone else to point it out to us, especially in a blunt way. Bigger people can shake off the negative comments, search them, separate the bullshit from the truth, interpret the meaning behind it all and take anything valuable on board as an opportunity to evolve. Your ego cannot come into play if you want to be the bigger person, you have to take it in, process it, trash the crap and thrash the lesson. Bottom line is, it's hard.
A bigger person never lets their emotions sit in the drivers seat when it comes to difficult situations or conflict resolutions. Bigger people keep it real, they don't get personal or petty and they stick to the facts. By only mentioning the things that are truths and steering away from assumptions, you're always going to come out as the bigger person. It takes skill to keep your emotions in check, learning to let things slide off you like water off a ducks back takes years of focused effort to master. I always try to remember that knee jerk reactions are for small minded people. Anytime that I have employed reactive behaviours in stressful situations in the past there has been nothing but carnage and I have always come off looking stupid, intolerant or just plain bitchy, and no one wants to be seen in that light.
When you are the bigger person in the room during high stress situations, well it is something to be proud of, because it's a tough gig. Keeping yourself in check, not taking things personally and knowing that you shouldn't take things personally are incredibly good life skills to have in your tool kit. Every time that you can take one on the chin, own your own crap and move forward in a dignified way is definitely a sign that you're becoming a gentler, kinder and more well rounded person, and that is definitely something to be proud of.
Release Date: 2011
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 80 mins
When two sets of parents meet in a Brooklyn apartment to discuss the fight that their eleven year old boys had in the park, things go from civilised to downright manic rapidly.
Directed by Roman Polanski, this black-comedy is based on the Tony Award winning play God of Carnage by French playwright Yasmina Reza. A stellar cast that includes Jodie Foster, Kate Winslet, Christoph Waltz and John C. Reilly really bring together all of the ugliness and viciousness of couples with children, played out in real time.
No stone is left unturned as these four adults go head to head with each other with increasing levels of ferocity; displaying more childish behaviours than the children that they are meant to be discussing. All is stripped bare in this interesting and at times hilarious character study.
FINAL SAY: Keep on stroking your ego. It's beautiful.
3 Chilli Peppers