I was at work when it happened, which is the exact place that you do not want to be when you find yourself feeling ultra frustrated and pissed off, so I couldn't just go on an hour long hike into the bush or meditate the feelings out of me, I had to deal with them. If I was a big time shouter, trust me when I say that I would've been yelling, but I didn't yell....I just broke down. Snapped like a twig and wept, which isn't exactly the best way to process frustration but I suppose that it beats throwing a stapler at someones head or smashing their face into the side of the photocopier, so in the big scheme of things it wasn't a complete disaster.
I was however shocked at the uncontrollable outpouring of emotion that I felt. I don't cry that often so I was quite horrified when my body just let go like it did, horrified but not disgusted or ashamed of myself for it, just shocked. I used to think that crying was a display of weakness because I was raised to believe that that was true, and in the past I would have been questioning whether I was going through perimenopause or something like it, but in the last couple of years of my life I have come to understand that crying is most certainly not a sign of weakness at all.
We live in a world that demands that we keep a lid on our feelings most of the time, but the truth is that it isn't really healthy to keep a lid on your feelings all of the time, that kind of thinking creates barriers and gives people cancer. There are going to be moments in your life when emotions are going to rise up from the shadows where you've worked hard to keep them contained and you will become, even if it is only for a few moments, unable to stuff them back down, and you know what? That's totally okay.
Showing that you are affected deeply by something is not weak, pathetic or dishonorable, it's human. And as long as you aren't having regular breakdowns on a daily basis then it's totally acceptable to release a bit of tension and anxiety and let the tears flow on occasion. I remember hearing once that people only cry when the emotions inside of them get so big that their bodies cannot contain it any longer and so it has to find an exit, and that exit is through the windows of the soul. It's kind of beautiful when you think about it like that, it's cathartic and cleansing and purifying to the soul to cry once and awhile.
And so I have had a big cry and let it all out and you know what, I actually do feel better for it. When you don't cry that often then people do tend to take notice when you do and I think that I probably couldn't have communicated my level of frustration and annoyance in a better way than I did now that I look back on it. However, one thing that all of this has taught me is that no matter how zenned out you may think you are, it is a very thin line between keeping your composure and being ridiculously annoyed and frustrated, and that no-one has it all together all of the time.
Release Date: 1998
Running Time: 170 mins
Terrence Malick came out of a twenty year hiatus to direct this incredible war epic based on James Jones 1962 autobiographical novel of the same name, which focuses on the conflict at Guadalcanal during the second World War. With a huge ensemble cast the movie almost doubled it's production expense at the box office, was nominated for seven academy awards and is ranked as Martin Scorsese's second favourite movie of all time. The Thin Red Line is now considered to be one of the greatest contemporary war films to have ever been made.
A group of soldiers is brought in to assist the marines with the battle of Guadalcanal, which will strongly influence the Japanese advance into the Pacific Theatre. The horrors of war bond the exhausted men as they fight to survive against the odds.
This is a poignant and engrossing war movie, that was unfortunately released at the same time as Saving Private Ryan which did far better at the box office, but in my opinion, seriously pales in comparison.
The cast are tremendous, with Jim Caviezel, Sean Penn and Nick Nolte leading a virtual who's who of actors through a touching and memorable movie. You really get a sense of the helplessness of the soldiers here, the message being sent about ordinary men being sent to fight for things that they don't even fully comprehend is driven home, and the overall effect is haunting and thought provoking.
FINAL SAY: War don't ennoble men. It turns them into dogs...poisons the soul.
4.5 Chilli Peppers