The biggest problem with this reality is that I am the sort of person that likes to feel that I am constantly moving forward in life, and it just kills me if I think that I am not. And even though I have an excellent understanding of the fact that no-one, no matter how much they may appear to have their shit together, is ever really continually moving forwards, it is just accepting that fact that is the hardest thing for me.
Standing still or moving backwards are not really terms that ignite excitement in me, generally they have the opposite effect. However, I have discovered that when I find myself in these predicaments, as one does from time to time, that there are things that can be done to make the process a lot less agonising and in fact, even quite enjoyable!
Firstly and above all else, the best thing to do when things go wrong is to take stock of the situation and make an assessment. An assessment that is not based on how far you still have to go, but more on how far you have already come. This is where keeping a daily journal really comes into its own, because when you flick back over a six, or even better twelve month period of your life, and you see just how much you've accomplished and grown, you won't feel deflated or setback for very long. It is so very easy to focus on the negative side of things in life when you face a minor setback, much easier than seeing the good things, but when you can actually see it on the page in front of you, it is very hard to deny your own personal growth.
And that is the other thing, just because you are being forced to stand still with your progression on something for a while, that doesn't mean that you have ceased to grow altogether. In fact a lull in giant leaps forward are actually an extremely valuable opportunity to really observe the bigger picture, to make sure that you are still on the right track and to make any necessary adjustments before continuing on. When you look at it like that, a step backwards can almost seem like a much needed hiatus and a golden opportunity to uncover a brand new learning or way of doing things.
And if I still feel like crap about a setback after all of that, then I like to console and remind myself that I am only human, that is totally okay to make mistakes and get things wrong and that doing dumb shit every now and again is probably good for my soul anyway. Trying too hard to get it all right all of the time is just plain exhausting and I don't want to walk around with the weight of an elephant on my shoulders. I would rather just learn to find the sage in my setbacks, the reason behind my mistakes and the calm in the chaos, because two steps forward and one step back is still one step forward when you really think about it, and I am am happy to take it all just one step at a time anyway.
Release Date: 2013
Running Time: 83 mins
Perhaps they should have called this film 'the weight of your eyelids after you cry your heart out', because I really felt overwhelmed by this film and had a teary moment more than once whilst I was watching it. Adapted from Sonya Hartnett's coming of age novel Of A Boy and directed by Daniel Borgman, this Danish-New Zealand co-production is as beautifully touching as it is desperately grim.
Eleven year old Adrian's life is a gauntlet of difficulties. The kids at school bully him, his mother abandoned him and the uncle that he lives with is mentally unwell. Then Adrian meets Nicole, a mysterious and rebellious ten year old girl, that has troubles of her own.
This is one of the saddest coming of age tales that I have ever encountered, which is why I felt compelled to put it on my gritty list. The cinematography here is overwhelmingly good, the details are just impeccable, which makes the overall feel of the film deeply affecting. Young Demos Murphy is tremendously good as Adrian, offering such a realistic depiction of a torn pre-teen that I was instantly roped into the story.
FINAL SAY: Visually beautiful but hellish on the tear ducts.
3.5 Chilli Peppers