Regardless of how amicable, nice, funny, mindful, considerate or generous you are in this life, you are eventually going to come against someone that you just don't like. It may be someone that you're related to, or someone that you work with or someone that has come into your life because they are associated with another person that you know, and you are not going to like this person. They are going to grind your gears and irritate you, they are going to annoy you and because they now exist in your life, you may not always have the choice to avoid them. And this is where you need to employ your best diplomacy and intelligence, and just get along.
Easier said than done though right? It is pretty hard to get along with someone that really ruffles your feathers and generally gives you the shits, but there are ways to get along, even in the face of great adversity.
The first thing that you need to accept is that you are not going to like everyone, and also not everyone is going to like you and that's totally OK. So OK in fact, that's it's practically perfect. Yep, that's right I said practically perfect. We all know that we do our best growing during our darkest times, so the people that we butt up against actually force us to grow in ways that we may not even recognise at the time. I have learnt more about myself through the people that I haven't liked than the ones that I have adored, and that is a fact. I may not want to go and have a BBQ with the people that I don't like, but I can recognise that these annoying individuals are triggering a very real and unpleasant reaction in me, which probably needs further investigation.
Sometimes the people that annoy me the most are really just people that have very different ideas, points of view or social boundaries to me, which means that we could never really be great friends anyway, but that doesn't mean that I need to treat them like crap, that would be stupid and illogical. Tolerating people that you really don't like very much is a skill that intelligent people have mastered, and I have found in the past that unintelligent people usually create their own dramas and demise anyway, so there is no need to engage anyone that annoys you any more than is absolutely necessary.
When dealing with people that you don't like, you absolutely must have a terrific poker face, a really good and convincing one. A face that you can wear over the top of gritted teeth or clenched fists that makes you appear to be calm, open and diplomatic. This is you having self control over your emotions, not stooping to anyone elses levels of behaviour or adopting anyone else's body language; in short you appear to be neutral and in control of yourself. Adopting a good poker face and calm exterior will allow you to gain the upper hand over people that you don't like every time. And if they don't like you, well at least they won't be able to say that you treated them poorly at any point in your exchanges. Mastering your emotional reactions will help you to manage difficult or unpleasant people, even if you only appear that way on the surface, it's always worth doing.
Sometimes the people that I find most annoying turn out to be people that I have just expected too much from. Just because you have yourself in check, that doesn't mean other people have as well. Expecting people to do as you do, or behave as you behave is just asking for trouble and will only lead to frustration and disappointment. Next time someone gets up your nose, check in and see what it is that you are expecting from them, odds are that it's more than they have the ability to deliver, so adjust your expectations and you'll find that you may not dislike the person as much as you thought that you did.
And when all else fails and you just cannot stand someone that you have to deal with regularly, then just take a deep breathe, give yourself some space from them as much as you can and take some time to address what it is about that person that is triggering you off so much. Is it an isolated comment? An ongoing action? A lifestyle choice? Or is it just the way that they make you feel? Have you yourself contributed to the bad blood that you have with this person? Is it fixable? Whatever the reason, really analyse whether this person is worth all of the anxiety, stress and energy that you are giving to them. If you think that they are, then you need to take steps to clear the air and move forward in your relationship with them, if you think that they're irrelevant, then just keep that poker face going and get on with things. And always remember that you do not have to get along with everyone and that it's totally OK to find some people as annoying as hell.
Easier said than done though right? It is pretty hard to get along with someone that really ruffles your feathers and generally gives you the shits, but there are ways to get along, even in the face of great adversity.
The first thing that you need to accept is that you are not going to like everyone, and also not everyone is going to like you and that's totally OK. So OK in fact, that's it's practically perfect. Yep, that's right I said practically perfect. We all know that we do our best growing during our darkest times, so the people that we butt up against actually force us to grow in ways that we may not even recognise at the time. I have learnt more about myself through the people that I haven't liked than the ones that I have adored, and that is a fact. I may not want to go and have a BBQ with the people that I don't like, but I can recognise that these annoying individuals are triggering a very real and unpleasant reaction in me, which probably needs further investigation.
Sometimes the people that annoy me the most are really just people that have very different ideas, points of view or social boundaries to me, which means that we could never really be great friends anyway, but that doesn't mean that I need to treat them like crap, that would be stupid and illogical. Tolerating people that you really don't like very much is a skill that intelligent people have mastered, and I have found in the past that unintelligent people usually create their own dramas and demise anyway, so there is no need to engage anyone that annoys you any more than is absolutely necessary.
When dealing with people that you don't like, you absolutely must have a terrific poker face, a really good and convincing one. A face that you can wear over the top of gritted teeth or clenched fists that makes you appear to be calm, open and diplomatic. This is you having self control over your emotions, not stooping to anyone elses levels of behaviour or adopting anyone else's body language; in short you appear to be neutral and in control of yourself. Adopting a good poker face and calm exterior will allow you to gain the upper hand over people that you don't like every time. And if they don't like you, well at least they won't be able to say that you treated them poorly at any point in your exchanges. Mastering your emotional reactions will help you to manage difficult or unpleasant people, even if you only appear that way on the surface, it's always worth doing.
Sometimes the people that I find most annoying turn out to be people that I have just expected too much from. Just because you have yourself in check, that doesn't mean other people have as well. Expecting people to do as you do, or behave as you behave is just asking for trouble and will only lead to frustration and disappointment. Next time someone gets up your nose, check in and see what it is that you are expecting from them, odds are that it's more than they have the ability to deliver, so adjust your expectations and you'll find that you may not dislike the person as much as you thought that you did.
And when all else fails and you just cannot stand someone that you have to deal with regularly, then just take a deep breathe, give yourself some space from them as much as you can and take some time to address what it is about that person that is triggering you off so much. Is it an isolated comment? An ongoing action? A lifestyle choice? Or is it just the way that they make you feel? Have you yourself contributed to the bad blood that you have with this person? Is it fixable? Whatever the reason, really analyse whether this person is worth all of the anxiety, stress and energy that you are giving to them. If you think that they are, then you need to take steps to clear the air and move forward in your relationship with them, if you think that they're irrelevant, then just keep that poker face going and get on with things. And always remember that you do not have to get along with everyone and that it's totally OK to find some people as annoying as hell.
STOKER
Release Date: 2013
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 99 mins
Let me just say, that I absolutely loved this movie. Written by Wentworth Miller and directed by South Korean filmmaker Park Chan-wook, this was the last film to be produced by Tony Scott, who passed away after production. Strongly influenced by Hitchcock themes, Stoker showcases the best use of dark and atmospheric imagery intertwined with a riveting narrative to play out like a gothic mystery that is guaranteed to keep you enthralled until the very last moments.
India Stoker (Mia Wasikowska) is left alone with her rather unstable mother Evelyn (Nicole Kidman) after her father is killed in a tragic accident. However, when her charismatic and virtually unknown Uncle Charlie (Matthew Goode) moves in with them, India finds herself inexplicably drawn to his mysterious and increasingly suspicious behaviours.
Highly stylized in every sense, this is a beautiful and mostly melancholic movie that has an almost dream like quality to it. The tensions in Stoker run so high that they are positively palpable, I was just spellbound from start to end; the extreme close-ups, visceral music and stark imagery, I couldn't get this film out of my mind for days after. The acting here is exceptional, and it really galvanized Wasikowska's ability for me, definitely making her 'the actress to watch' from that point on.
FINAL SAY: We don't need to be friends, we're family.
4.5 Chilli Peppers
Release Date: 2013
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 99 mins
Let me just say, that I absolutely loved this movie. Written by Wentworth Miller and directed by South Korean filmmaker Park Chan-wook, this was the last film to be produced by Tony Scott, who passed away after production. Strongly influenced by Hitchcock themes, Stoker showcases the best use of dark and atmospheric imagery intertwined with a riveting narrative to play out like a gothic mystery that is guaranteed to keep you enthralled until the very last moments.
India Stoker (Mia Wasikowska) is left alone with her rather unstable mother Evelyn (Nicole Kidman) after her father is killed in a tragic accident. However, when her charismatic and virtually unknown Uncle Charlie (Matthew Goode) moves in with them, India finds herself inexplicably drawn to his mysterious and increasingly suspicious behaviours.
Highly stylized in every sense, this is a beautiful and mostly melancholic movie that has an almost dream like quality to it. The tensions in Stoker run so high that they are positively palpable, I was just spellbound from start to end; the extreme close-ups, visceral music and stark imagery, I couldn't get this film out of my mind for days after. The acting here is exceptional, and it really galvanized Wasikowska's ability for me, definitely making her 'the actress to watch' from that point on.
FINAL SAY: We don't need to be friends, we're family.
4.5 Chilli Peppers
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