Everyone wants to feel like they are liked and they belong. For some people fitting in and being liked is like second nature, they just have a way about them that makes people enjoy their company and a certain way of engaging others that makes people desire more time with them. For other people however, being in social situations can feel more like navigating shark infested waters than being natural. It is actually very unnatural for some and no matter what they do or how they do it, they seem to make mistakes; stumbling about in social interactions making one bumble after another.
These kinds of people often struggle to make connections with others or just generally feel like they aren't running with the crowd. It can lead to them having difficult feelings of isolation or inadequacy, and can even lead to social anxiety and depression. And although there is no cure for being socially awkward, there are some nifty little psychological tricks that you can implement that will make people like you more than they did before. And the best part of all is that you don't have to a lot to make these things work, just a few small changes and you'll be off and running.
Firstly, if you want to be liked in your workplace and avoid all the drama, compliment people behind their back instead of whinging or bitching about them behind their backs. People will fast identify you as a good guy and will also not feel safe to whine or bitch to you, since you don't engage in that kind of chatter. This will keep you out of idle gossip and will help you to find the good in your colleagues.
When you say "you're right" instead of "I know" it will remove the asshole factor from your listening methods. Validating people's feelings and keeping your own on the shelf is smart and it will make people feel like you're an awesome listener. Everyone loves being right and they will like it when you tell them so, just make sure that you're "righting" to empower and not joining in the hate-fest banter.
Instead of asking "Do you have any questions?" ask "What questions do you have?" The first almost always results in silence, while the second helps people feel comfortable to ask, like you think that there should be questions and you're expecting to be asked. People will respond in kind.
When you have something important to say to your kids, say it in a very quiet voice so that they listen. Kids are really immune to yelling and shouting, but whispering never fails to get attention. You can be guaranteed that they will turn to you and ask you "what did you just say?" and bam! You've got their attention without a rant, rave or raised voice.
If someone is escalating and you need them to calm down so that you can communicate with them, simply ask them questions about numbers or personal information. People need to access certain parts of the brain for fact recall, and it is almost impossible to do so when they are angry. If you ask the right questions, they will be forced to let their guard down to provide the answers and within moments, they will be deescalated.
Shy people are always super reluctant to speak, and when they do, they usually want to keep it short and sweet. To keep a shy person talking, nod your head when they speak whilst you are looking at them. This will make them feel validated and push them to provide more information or share more.
And last, but not least, say hello to everyone you know whenever you see them. At work, in the supermarket, at the doctors office, if you bump into someone you know, don't ever pretend that you don't know who they are. When you pass people at work, acknowledge them and try to say their name, and always do it with a smile. This is super simple, but effective. People will always remember if you snubbed them or didn't acknowledge them when you saw them, and not just for that day either. Research has shown that people remember this kind of snubbing for years, so make an effort to raise a hand to wave and flash a smile when you see a familiar face.
And there you have it, a few sure fire ways to get along better with others. Sure, if you try them you may not have people fawning all over you at the next workplace gathering, but at least you won't have to worry about being at odds with others or being seen as the social pariah or wicked witch of the office anymore. And when all else fails, then just do what I do and head to the grimoire and cast a likability spell over those mother fuckers!
These kinds of people often struggle to make connections with others or just generally feel like they aren't running with the crowd. It can lead to them having difficult feelings of isolation or inadequacy, and can even lead to social anxiety and depression. And although there is no cure for being socially awkward, there are some nifty little psychological tricks that you can implement that will make people like you more than they did before. And the best part of all is that you don't have to a lot to make these things work, just a few small changes and you'll be off and running.
Firstly, if you want to be liked in your workplace and avoid all the drama, compliment people behind their back instead of whinging or bitching about them behind their backs. People will fast identify you as a good guy and will also not feel safe to whine or bitch to you, since you don't engage in that kind of chatter. This will keep you out of idle gossip and will help you to find the good in your colleagues.
When you say "you're right" instead of "I know" it will remove the asshole factor from your listening methods. Validating people's feelings and keeping your own on the shelf is smart and it will make people feel like you're an awesome listener. Everyone loves being right and they will like it when you tell them so, just make sure that you're "righting" to empower and not joining in the hate-fest banter.
Instead of asking "Do you have any questions?" ask "What questions do you have?" The first almost always results in silence, while the second helps people feel comfortable to ask, like you think that there should be questions and you're expecting to be asked. People will respond in kind.
When you have something important to say to your kids, say it in a very quiet voice so that they listen. Kids are really immune to yelling and shouting, but whispering never fails to get attention. You can be guaranteed that they will turn to you and ask you "what did you just say?" and bam! You've got their attention without a rant, rave or raised voice.
If someone is escalating and you need them to calm down so that you can communicate with them, simply ask them questions about numbers or personal information. People need to access certain parts of the brain for fact recall, and it is almost impossible to do so when they are angry. If you ask the right questions, they will be forced to let their guard down to provide the answers and within moments, they will be deescalated.
Shy people are always super reluctant to speak, and when they do, they usually want to keep it short and sweet. To keep a shy person talking, nod your head when they speak whilst you are looking at them. This will make them feel validated and push them to provide more information or share more.
And last, but not least, say hello to everyone you know whenever you see them. At work, in the supermarket, at the doctors office, if you bump into someone you know, don't ever pretend that you don't know who they are. When you pass people at work, acknowledge them and try to say their name, and always do it with a smile. This is super simple, but effective. People will always remember if you snubbed them or didn't acknowledge them when you saw them, and not just for that day either. Research has shown that people remember this kind of snubbing for years, so make an effort to raise a hand to wave and flash a smile when you see a familiar face.
And there you have it, a few sure fire ways to get along better with others. Sure, if you try them you may not have people fawning all over you at the next workplace gathering, but at least you won't have to worry about being at odds with others or being seen as the social pariah or wicked witch of the office anymore. And when all else fails, then just do what I do and head to the grimoire and cast a likability spell over those mother fuckers!
THE WITCHES OF EASTWICK
Release Date: 1987
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 118 mins
I am still trying to find another person that will agree with me about this film, most people hated it. Yes, it's got a ridiculous and implausible story line; of course three of the hottest women on the planet would fall for an aging and overweight Jack Nicholson, and sure his magical penis would make them all a little magical too. OK, I can see that there have been massive liberties taken here, but I don't care, I still like this film!
Based on John Updike's novel of the same name and directed by George Miller, who has directed and written a slew of successful movies, The Witches of Eastwick is a fantasy-comedy with a strong cast and a quirky story line.
Three talented and beautiful women (Cher, Susan Sarandon and Michelle Pfeiffer) are living out their lonely and man-less lives in a small town. When an intriguing and promiscuous man arrives named Daryl Van Horne (Jack Nicholson), their lives are turned upside down as he unleashes new and dangerous powers within them.
Essentially this is a supernatural battle of the sexes, it is bewitchingly funny and has a worthy underlying message about the pitfalls of meddling with magic. I really enjoyed the interactions between the cast members and the scale to which things escalate is hilariously played out. If you like a little supernatural sprinkled onto your comedy, then you will love it too.
FINAL SAY: Have another cherry.
3 Chilli Peppers
Release Date: 1987
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 118 mins
I am still trying to find another person that will agree with me about this film, most people hated it. Yes, it's got a ridiculous and implausible story line; of course three of the hottest women on the planet would fall for an aging and overweight Jack Nicholson, and sure his magical penis would make them all a little magical too. OK, I can see that there have been massive liberties taken here, but I don't care, I still like this film!
Based on John Updike's novel of the same name and directed by George Miller, who has directed and written a slew of successful movies, The Witches of Eastwick is a fantasy-comedy with a strong cast and a quirky story line.
Three talented and beautiful women (Cher, Susan Sarandon and Michelle Pfeiffer) are living out their lonely and man-less lives in a small town. When an intriguing and promiscuous man arrives named Daryl Van Horne (Jack Nicholson), their lives are turned upside down as he unleashes new and dangerous powers within them.
Essentially this is a supernatural battle of the sexes, it is bewitchingly funny and has a worthy underlying message about the pitfalls of meddling with magic. I really enjoyed the interactions between the cast members and the scale to which things escalate is hilariously played out. If you like a little supernatural sprinkled onto your comedy, then you will love it too.
FINAL SAY: Have another cherry.
3 Chilli Peppers
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