I love that I am a confident, a friend and a sympathetic ear to many, not that I like to hear about the stresses of others and I am most certainly not a bad news monger; but I do more often than not have the dramas of someone else's life to contend with on top of my own. When I get a lull and it all goes quiet like it is at the moment, it is just so bloody weird for me. When I am left alone with only my own thoughts to contend with, truthfully, it is also slightly unnerving.
I see myself as a bit of sponge to the feelings and emotions of others, if the people I care about are doing it rough, then I do it rough right along side of them. I literally 'feel' their difficulty and struggle, and I know that that sounds so crazy, but I honestly do. I will have trouble sleeping, I will lay awake at night pondering possibilities and I will roll along with the highs and the lows, just like it was all my own worry and strife. I don't know why I do this, I just do. It's not like I'm caught up in the drama of the situation, it's more like I'm caught up on the feelings, which I know is actually a shit load weirder really.
New age people would call me an 'emotion absorber', a person that feels other people's emotional struggle. Psychic people would call me a 'sensitive.' I don't want to give it a label, but I know that I do it. And when things ebb right back and the world around me goes really quiet like it has been lately, it is so very, very odd for me. Lovely, serene even, on some level, but really totally odd in every way.
You see when you are busy running to the emotional rescue of others, you tend to put your own crap on the back-burner, eventually forgetting about your troubles altogether and just getting on with trying to fix things for other people. Then when you find that you get a lull, it can in a way be incredibly overwhelming because you actually have the time to address yourself and all of the things that you have shoved really far back in the closet or swept neatly under the rug. This is both a cathartic and an overwhelming process, and it is where I am at right now.
All the dust has settled, all the wrongs are righted and there is no-one that needs me to rescue them, except for myself of course. And the work of the self is indeed the hardest and most difficult work of all, even the horrendously shallow people in the world are aware of that fact. Not many of us are really very comfortable with facing our own demons, especially if you have been clothing, feeding and tucking them in at night for years on end. But if you are like me and you suddenly find that you can't escape yourself because there are no other distractions, well then it is time to grab your crucifix and holy water and get to work.
Who knows how long this lull will last? Hopefully for a long time because not only am I relieved that all is well with the ones that I love, but also because I am also finding this process, although at times concerning, extremely interesting.
Who knows what I am going to discover about myself underneath all of those tidy layers that I have created? I don't drop my metal skin amour very often anymore, but while I have the time, I'm just gonna take a peek and see what is hiding in there. May need more than a crucifix and holy water to battle these demons, but I am up for the challenge.
Release Date: 1973
Rating: R 18+
Running Time: 122min
Probably fair to say that I couldn't really even comment on the quality of good horror if I didn't eventually give Linda Blair's head spinning, green vomit covered possessed character a look in.
Everyone knows the premise of this story, a girl gets possessed, the ancient evil inside of her then relentlessly tortures her and her family with a circus of vulgarities and barrage of contortions. Eventually, the local priest and an exorcist have to be called in to try and rid them all of this sinister evil. Easier said then done, as you would imagine, the evil isn't very compliant.
In true 70's style horror, this has a slow burning tone that gives you just enough shocks to keep you glued to your chair. Ellen Burstyn is absolutely amazing as the tormented mother, and her terror seems so genuine that you can't help being sucked into the dark theme of this good vs evil story.
It is unsettling viewing at its best and the sounds that come out that little body are hauntingly evil, no real horror fan should miss it, it really did rock the world when it was released and still stands as one of the scariest films to have ever made.
FINAL SAY: The power of Christ compels you.
4.5 chili peppers