Now I know that the chances of being eaten alive by a vicious creature are slim, virtually nonexistent if you actually look at the statistics, but like all really tremendously crappy ways to die, we understand that the chances are slim but we just don't want that to be the way that we go out in the end. Everyone has dreamy visions of peacefully going to sleep in their old age and passing away mid dream cycle, but did you know that only 1 out of every 8 of us will actually go out that way? So what happens to the other 7 out of 8 of us then? Not bloody eaten alive I would hope!
Well, I did a bit of digging, not just to alleviate my concerns around an animal consuming me alive, but to also discover what I really am most likely to die of and these are the top ten most likely ways to die in our modern times:
- Heart Disease
- Chronic Lower Respiratory Diseases
- Accident (mostly falls, transport accidents or poisoning)
- Alzheimer's Disease
- Influenza or Pneumonia
- Kidney Disease
However, on a really obscure note, there is also a list online of the most unusual ways to die, and I'm not sure that I would necessarily want to go out in any of these ways either, but the list does offer some very entertaining reading.
Here are some 'odd ways' to die that are so weird and amusing that they do deserve to be talked about:
- An Athenian lawmaker was smothered to death by gifts of cloaks and hats that appreciative citizens threw over him.
- In 455 BC Valerius Maximus was killed by a tortoise that was dropped on him by an eagle.
- Agathocles, a Greek tyrant was murdered with a poisonous toothpick.
- Louis III, King of West Francis died after hitting his head on the lintel of a low door frame.
- Crown Prince Philippe of France died when his horse tripped over a black pig running out of a dung pile in the Parisian streets.
- Hans Staininger died of a broken neck after he tripped over his own beard in Austria in 1567.
- William Snyder died when a circus clown swung him around by his heels in 1854.
- Henry Taylor tripped when carrying a coffin and was crushed to death by it in 1872.
- 21 people died in 1919 when a large molasses storage tanker burst and drowned them.
- Sherwood Anderson, an American writer died after accidentally swallowing a toothpick that infected his gastrointestinal tract.
- Basil Brown, a health food advocate consumed 70 million units of Vitamin A and around 10 gallons of carrot juice in 10 days and died with bright yellow skin.
- Dick Wertheim, a tennis linesman died after being struck in the groin with a tennis ball and fell out of his chair onto the hard court face down.
- A 75 year old woman was killed by a poodle that fell from a window on the 13th floor in 1988.
- An entire soccer team of 11 were fatally killed by lightning whilst playing in the Democratic Republic of Congo - unbelievably the other team were unharmed.
- Robert Williams, a worker at the Ford Motor plant was the first person to be killed by a robot when the arm of a factory robot fell on his head! Rise of the machines right there I tell you, it all starts with a simple knock to the head by a rogue arm and then next thing...well you know how it goes!
Release Dates: 1984 and 1991
Rating: MA 15+
Running Times: 107 mins and 137 mins
There's no point denying it, these two movies are great, they link together seamlessly, and tell a foreboding tale about a terrifying future where the machines rule the earth. Directed and written by James Cameron, and aside from his Aliens offering, this is really the best thing that he has ever done in my opinion; and it is also the best thing that Arnold Schwarzenegger has undertaken as well.
The first instalment focuses on a humanoid cyborg known as a Terminator (Schwarzenegger) that has been sent back in time from 2029, to exterminate a waitress named Sarah Connor (Linda Hamilton). Unbeknownst to Sarah, in the future she will give birth to John Connor, a man that will lead a revolution against the oppressive machines.
The second instalment focuses again on a humanoid cyborg that has been re-programmed to now protect the teenage John Connor (Edward Furlong) from a newer and more sinister model of Terminator that is still seeking to kill him.
What you are going to get here is an action-packed science fiction experience, with loads of guns, explosions and robotic effects. The first movie actually boasted some pretty cutting edge effects for its time, and the second even won an Academy Award for Best Visual Effects, so these films have been executed really well and obviously had hefty budgets. Schwarzenegger was a perfect choice for the role of the Terminator, he just has to look menacing and say very little - apart from highly quotable one liners, a role clearly designed for him to execute perfectly. For high-paced sci-fi, these have got it in buckets and with the added bonus of a tight and interesting story line, what's not to like?
FINAL SAY: I'll be back!
3.5 Chilli Peppers
NOTE: None of the later instalments (and there have been far too many) are worthy of your time or effort, see these first two and then leave it at that.