There is nothing that you can do to slow down the growth and development of your children. One day you're trying to decide what kind of childcare would be appropriate for your precious little bundle and then the next thing you know you're preparing to watch them graduate from University. And you will have no idea what the hell happened to those years in between. It just happens, your kids just grow up and you have to ride it all out alongside of them, every nitty gritty and sometimes shitty moment of it. And trust me when I say that it is never, no matter how awesome your family dynamic may be, going to be terrific 100% of the time.
There are going to be less than awesome days when your son or daughter is going to bitch slap you upside the head and tell you that they hate you or that you suck, which is of course bullshit because they never really hate you, they just hate the power that you have over them to make descisions for them; decisions that they are way too young to be responsibly making for themselves. But yeah, they are going to hate you for it, and you know what? That's okay. It is actually healthy to have a few power struggles with your kids, it's normal in any good and fruitful relationship to have a few power struggles. It's how families build trust and responsibility, and learn how to depend upon each other through the good and the bad times which only occurs when you are all riding it all out together, no matter what comes your way.
I am always deeply concerned and also utterly perplexed when I hear parents nonchalantly talking about how their teenager has driven them so bonkers that they have had to kick them out or encouraged them to move out or leave the house. Seriously, as a parent you don't get to check out - not ever! Never ever, no matter how bonkers your teenager may be making you. You cannot let them leave, you cannot toss them out and you cannot decide at any point (no matter how crapola things may appear to be) that you have had enough.
Sorry, but you gave up your right to check out when you signed up to be a parent. There are no 'Get Out of Jail Free' cards when it comes to parenting. How your child decides to behave is pretty much irrelevant because you are the adult and you have to be the voice of reason, the harbour in the tempest and the example of 'how we do when shit isn't going awesome.' You have to take some shit on the chin from time to time and you absolutely (without fail) have to remember that when your kids are behaving at their worst, it's always because they are needing you the most. Especially teenagers, who are exceptionally loathe to asking for help or guidance because well...you know....they already know everything! And any sign of a chink in the armour would be extremely uncool as well, and god forbid any parent that is trying to make their teenager feel uncool!
Finding a happy medium where you are always holding on with one hand but also letting go with the other is really the only way to go as a parent I believe. You have to let them make some mistakes, but not too many. You have to let them fight their own battles, but not if they get too big. You have to let them be angry, but not all the time or for no good reason. You have to hug them when they are dreadful, encourage them when they want to give up and also be adult enough to admit that you're only human and that you have a multitude of your own shortcomings. Always apologise when you act like a dickhead yourself, don't ever hold grudges with your kids and never let them leave, unless they absolutely have to, and even then make sure that they know that you would much prefer that they stay!
It's a tough gig being a good parent, but it's a bloody great gig too, and it's certainly not something that you would ever want to give up on, not for all the tea in China.
There are going to be less than awesome days when your son or daughter is going to bitch slap you upside the head and tell you that they hate you or that you suck, which is of course bullshit because they never really hate you, they just hate the power that you have over them to make descisions for them; decisions that they are way too young to be responsibly making for themselves. But yeah, they are going to hate you for it, and you know what? That's okay. It is actually healthy to have a few power struggles with your kids, it's normal in any good and fruitful relationship to have a few power struggles. It's how families build trust and responsibility, and learn how to depend upon each other through the good and the bad times which only occurs when you are all riding it all out together, no matter what comes your way.
I am always deeply concerned and also utterly perplexed when I hear parents nonchalantly talking about how their teenager has driven them so bonkers that they have had to kick them out or encouraged them to move out or leave the house. Seriously, as a parent you don't get to check out - not ever! Never ever, no matter how bonkers your teenager may be making you. You cannot let them leave, you cannot toss them out and you cannot decide at any point (no matter how crapola things may appear to be) that you have had enough.
Sorry, but you gave up your right to check out when you signed up to be a parent. There are no 'Get Out of Jail Free' cards when it comes to parenting. How your child decides to behave is pretty much irrelevant because you are the adult and you have to be the voice of reason, the harbour in the tempest and the example of 'how we do when shit isn't going awesome.' You have to take some shit on the chin from time to time and you absolutely (without fail) have to remember that when your kids are behaving at their worst, it's always because they are needing you the most. Especially teenagers, who are exceptionally loathe to asking for help or guidance because well...you know....they already know everything! And any sign of a chink in the armour would be extremely uncool as well, and god forbid any parent that is trying to make their teenager feel uncool!
Finding a happy medium where you are always holding on with one hand but also letting go with the other is really the only way to go as a parent I believe. You have to let them make some mistakes, but not too many. You have to let them fight their own battles, but not if they get too big. You have to let them be angry, but not all the time or for no good reason. You have to hug them when they are dreadful, encourage them when they want to give up and also be adult enough to admit that you're only human and that you have a multitude of your own shortcomings. Always apologise when you act like a dickhead yourself, don't ever hold grudges with your kids and never let them leave, unless they absolutely have to, and even then make sure that they know that you would much prefer that they stay!
It's a tough gig being a good parent, but it's a bloody great gig too, and it's certainly not something that you would ever want to give up on, not for all the tea in China.
BLOCKERS
Release Date: 2018
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 102 mins
An American comedy directed by Kay Cannon (in her directorial debut) and written by Brian and Jim Kehoe that tells the story of three overbearing parents and their three daughters whom have made a sex pact together and plan to lose their virginity together on prom night.
Hardly a revelation in storytelling, Blockers is exactly what the title implies that it is, a bunch of parents running around trying to cock block their kids on prom night, but it is the way that this story is delivered that makes it so enjoyable.
Ridiculous would be a major understatement, but somehow, this movie is still really amusing and quite funny, probably due to the great comedic delivery of Leslie Mann, Ike Barinholtz and John Cena who really bring a lot of fun to their hopeless parent characters.
This is just plain stupid fun, utterly implausible and verging on idiotic; and yet I had a couple of really good belly laughs and I think that it is completely worth a look. Blockers may well be the comedy shocker of the year for me.
FINAL SAY: W. W. V. D. D?
3.5 Chilli Peppers
Release Date: 2018
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 102 mins
An American comedy directed by Kay Cannon (in her directorial debut) and written by Brian and Jim Kehoe that tells the story of three overbearing parents and their three daughters whom have made a sex pact together and plan to lose their virginity together on prom night.
Hardly a revelation in storytelling, Blockers is exactly what the title implies that it is, a bunch of parents running around trying to cock block their kids on prom night, but it is the way that this story is delivered that makes it so enjoyable.
Ridiculous would be a major understatement, but somehow, this movie is still really amusing and quite funny, probably due to the great comedic delivery of Leslie Mann, Ike Barinholtz and John Cena who really bring a lot of fun to their hopeless parent characters.
This is just plain stupid fun, utterly implausible and verging on idiotic; and yet I had a couple of really good belly laughs and I think that it is completely worth a look. Blockers may well be the comedy shocker of the year for me.
FINAL SAY: W. W. V. D. D?
3.5 Chilli Peppers
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