Even the most secure people in the world need to be reassured from time to time, it's human to seek validation and it is not weak to admit that you require some reassured from time to time. I know that every now and then I like to be told that I'm doing okay, that I'm a good person and that I'm completely lovable, and when I don't receive any validation for a while, I start to listen to my persistent and annoying inner voice of self doubt, and then I start to stumble.
I wasn't raised in a very validating home as a child. Behavioural expectations were high, imperfections were highlighted and opportunities to 'cut one down to size' were used as an everyday form of punishment and embarrassment. Unfortunately, these less than encouraging formative years have had a profound effect on who I have become as an adult, and as a consequence, I have had to severely escalated my efforts to break certain molds and cycles and find a sense of self assurance.
In the past, I have been rejected by my parents because they didn't like my behaviour, I have lost friends who thought that I wasn't worth the effort and my own siblings have all estranged me because they've perceived me to be unlovable and mean. As you would imagine, these things have had a massive effect on my life and have made me quite insecure. I have struggled all my life to feel accepted, comfortable and secure with who I am.
I have poured unknowable hours of my time into self help, self motivation and self care in an attempt to quench my need for acceptance and love, but sometimes you can only get the type of reassurance that you are really looking for from the people around you. There is no book, guide, meditation, fitness class, job or other external thing that can replace someone that you love telling you that they also love you and think that you're amazing. And that is a fact, we all need to feel like we are loved by someone and that we are perfect just the way that we are. It is not just reassuring, it's downright empowering to love and be loved in return, it's the best feeling in the world to know that there is someone on the planet that adores you in some way, shape or form for just being who you are.
The bottom line is that none of us are completely self-sufficient, even though many of us pretend to be. However, the best thing that all of my self help attempts has taught me over the years is that the most insecure people in the world are those that cannot acknowledge their fears and insecurities, and that pretending to have it all together when you don't is not only stupid, it's also counterproductive to moving forward.
So now, when I feel like I'm floundering, I just tell people. I spill out the stupid in my head and I say out loud - I need some reassurance. And it is totally okay to say that. No-one feels fabulous all of the time, and sometimes a simple word of reassurance from someone that you care about can be enough to get you back on track and fight off that self deprecating voice inside of you that can be doggedly determined to convince you otherwise.
No-one has to break out the accolades, send in the marching band or shroud me with words of praise in order to reassure me, a simple - I think you're important and I care about you is really all that it takes to reboot my system. But sometimes I need to hear it, and as corny and as silly as that may sound to admit, I just need to hear it. I'm human and sometimes I need some reassurance, and you know, I really don't think that there is anything wrong with admitting that.
I wasn't raised in a very validating home as a child. Behavioural expectations were high, imperfections were highlighted and opportunities to 'cut one down to size' were used as an everyday form of punishment and embarrassment. Unfortunately, these less than encouraging formative years have had a profound effect on who I have become as an adult, and as a consequence, I have had to severely escalated my efforts to break certain molds and cycles and find a sense of self assurance.
In the past, I have been rejected by my parents because they didn't like my behaviour, I have lost friends who thought that I wasn't worth the effort and my own siblings have all estranged me because they've perceived me to be unlovable and mean. As you would imagine, these things have had a massive effect on my life and have made me quite insecure. I have struggled all my life to feel accepted, comfortable and secure with who I am.
I have poured unknowable hours of my time into self help, self motivation and self care in an attempt to quench my need for acceptance and love, but sometimes you can only get the type of reassurance that you are really looking for from the people around you. There is no book, guide, meditation, fitness class, job or other external thing that can replace someone that you love telling you that they also love you and think that you're amazing. And that is a fact, we all need to feel like we are loved by someone and that we are perfect just the way that we are. It is not just reassuring, it's downright empowering to love and be loved in return, it's the best feeling in the world to know that there is someone on the planet that adores you in some way, shape or form for just being who you are.
The bottom line is that none of us are completely self-sufficient, even though many of us pretend to be. However, the best thing that all of my self help attempts has taught me over the years is that the most insecure people in the world are those that cannot acknowledge their fears and insecurities, and that pretending to have it all together when you don't is not only stupid, it's also counterproductive to moving forward.
So now, when I feel like I'm floundering, I just tell people. I spill out the stupid in my head and I say out loud - I need some reassurance. And it is totally okay to say that. No-one feels fabulous all of the time, and sometimes a simple word of reassurance from someone that you care about can be enough to get you back on track and fight off that self deprecating voice inside of you that can be doggedly determined to convince you otherwise.
No-one has to break out the accolades, send in the marching band or shroud me with words of praise in order to reassure me, a simple - I think you're important and I care about you is really all that it takes to reboot my system. But sometimes I need to hear it, and as corny and as silly as that may sound to admit, I just need to hear it. I'm human and sometimes I need some reassurance, and you know, I really don't think that there is anything wrong with admitting that.
YESTERDAY
Release Date: 2019
Rating: M
Running Time: 116 mins
A romantic comedy directed by Danny Boyle and written by Richard Curtis that delivers a wholesome, simple and palatable love story about an alternate reality where certain aspects of everyday life that we all know about are missing.
A struggling musician is hit by a bus one evening when a mysterious global blackout occurs. When he comes around, he learns that this new reality is altered in small but not insignificant ways. An opportunity to improve his musical career ensues when he realises that no-one in the world has heard any of The Beatles large repertoire of songs yet, so he seizes the chance to get famous fast, but of course it all comes at a cost.
The story line is simple, but it is also sweet, mainly because of Himel Patel and Lily James whom are both completely darling in this. The Beatles music always adds to any great soundtrack, and as you would imagine (no pun intended) there are loads of their greatests hits here to enjoy. Joel Fry, Kate McKinnon and surprisingly Ed Sheeran supply some comic relief throughout and although this film isn't a life changer, it is a pleasant romance and an easy watch.
FINAL SAY: Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away.
3 Chilli Peppers
Release Date: 2019
Rating: M
Running Time: 116 mins
A romantic comedy directed by Danny Boyle and written by Richard Curtis that delivers a wholesome, simple and palatable love story about an alternate reality where certain aspects of everyday life that we all know about are missing.
A struggling musician is hit by a bus one evening when a mysterious global blackout occurs. When he comes around, he learns that this new reality is altered in small but not insignificant ways. An opportunity to improve his musical career ensues when he realises that no-one in the world has heard any of The Beatles large repertoire of songs yet, so he seizes the chance to get famous fast, but of course it all comes at a cost.
The story line is simple, but it is also sweet, mainly because of Himel Patel and Lily James whom are both completely darling in this. The Beatles music always adds to any great soundtrack, and as you would imagine (no pun intended) there are loads of their greatests hits here to enjoy. Joel Fry, Kate McKinnon and surprisingly Ed Sheeran supply some comic relief throughout and although this film isn't a life changer, it is a pleasant romance and an easy watch.
FINAL SAY: Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away.
3 Chilli Peppers
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