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SPICYWATCH

Scared Shitless

18/4/2016

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Remember when you were a kid and you watched the first horror movie that scared you shitless? Last night Seth watched a horror-comedy with Craig and I, yes, I said horror- comedy, and it was rated M, not MA or R, which he is usually okay with. It was called The Final Girls and was a spoof of the 80's slasher/horror genre. It had the formula down to the letter, a dude in a mask (hand carved Tiki mask mind you- remember this was a comedy) toting a machete, a bunch of horny teens, a cabin in the woods and a killer that only wants to slay people that are going to have sex, or that show their boobs. Boom, every 80's slasher in a nut shell right there. 
Well it turns out that even the comedy, which by the way was highly entertaining, wasn't enough to get the concept of a lunatic with a penchant for killing out of Seth's head and it totally freaked him out. I would imagine that living out here in the pines was part of the problem to be honest, because his bedroom looks out onto the pines behind our house, so that's not terribly comforting when you have already allowed your over-active imagine to conjure up some psycho lurking in the bushes with a sharp implement and murderous intent. I think that he finally succumbed to sleep around 2am, poor bugger, he looks pretty ruined today. I seriously over-estimated his tolerance on that one, bad parenting on my part there, may need to knock it back to PG for a while again I think. 
I recall the first horror that had me crapping my dacks back in the day. It was some werewolf movie, I can't even recall the name of it, and this dad got attacked by a werewolf and then turned into a werewolf himself on the next full moon. Then he went on a rampage, slaughtered his family, and chased his son who was around ten years old relentlessly through the forest for most of the movie. It absolutely freaked me out, I think I was about 11 when I saw it and I could not sleep that night at all. The image of that werewolf with a bloodied up mouth was burned into my mind and was not going to let me rest, it was awful, and I recall torturing my parents with my scared shitless antics all night long too. 
In my early teens, every slumber party in town was all about horror movies. Kids were just dying to watch Nightmare on Elm Street, well before they could handle the content  mind you. I know for a fact that old Freddy Kruger was responsible for a lot of sleepless slumber parties back in the day, but oddly enough, that film never freaked me out at all. I was around 14 or 15 when I do remember seeing a movie that did have me holding a pillow up to my face again, for the first time in a while. It was the first graphic R rated horror that I had ever encountered and even though I have re-watched it a couple of times since then, it still does have some creepy-arse gross shit going on, even by today standards. It's a horror classic for sure, but it's still definitely not for those with a weak constitution, those Cenobites are some freaky demons for sure. 
Picture
HELLRAISER 
Release Date: 1987
Rating: R 18+
Running Time: 94 mins 
Based on the short novel The Hellbound Heart  by Clive Barker, this is a no holds barred horror that covers many facets of depravity and darkness with its sadomasochistic portrayal of the underworld. 
Frank has an S & M fetish that knows no bounds, however he finally meets his match when a mysterious puzzle box unlocks a doorway to hell and releases the blood and pain lusting demons within called Cenobites. The Cenobites literally rip Frank to bits, however he manages to begin to re-manifest from a drop of blood. Frank's former mistress Julia agrees to try and help Frank regenerate, but it comes at a cost and the Cenobites don't like to let go of their victims. 
A series of Hellraiser movies followed this first instalment, but none of them could compare to this initial meeting of Pinhead and his demented demon cronies; it's a must see movie for serious horror fans. 
FINAL SAY: That's not a Rubik's cube! 
3 Chili Peppers

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