As I get older, the line between what I will and what I will not tolerate or lose sleep over has altered quite substantially, so it's always wise to have a revisit and reassess to make sure that I am being true to myself, my life goals and my enjoyment levels.
Most of the boundaries that I have created for myself over the last few years look nothing like the ones that I had for myself in my twenties and thirties. I used to set a lot of boundaries around what I would allow myself to do or what I expected of others, but now I set my boundaries purely around my tolerance, my ability to self love and my general peace of mind.
What does that mean exactly? Well, here is a list of what I think good boundaries look like. Adopting these kinds of personal boundaries is a really liberating thing to do for yourself, and I have found that I have become a lot more peaceful and accepting as I have learnt to incorporate them into my daily life.
1. It's not my job to fix others.
Let other people do them, and you just do you.
2. It's okay for other people to get angry with me.
Anger is fine and normal and also fleeting, there is no need to get hung up on it.
3. Sometimes no is the best answer.
Odds are people won't want to hear it, but that doesn't make it wrong. Setting limits for yourself is wise.
4. It's not my job to be responsible for others.
Let people own their own shit, you have no power to control others so don't bother.
5. I am responsible for my own happiness.
My happiness is my job, not anyone else's. To make it anyone else's is selfish and stupid.
6. It's okay if we don't agree.
Agree to disagree. Fighting over anything gets no-one anywhere.
7. I have the right to my feelings.
Everyone has the right to get angry, upset and annoyed, and that's okay.
8. I can put me first.
It is not selfish or mean to put yourself first sometimes.
9. I can let go.
Don't dwell on bad things or hold resentments because it feels like shit.
10. I am enough.
You don't need to change who you are to please others. You're all good!
So, there they are, a healthy 10 commandments of boundaries to set your dial to. I guarantee that if you set yourself better personal boundaries based on your genuine emotional needs then you will definitely worry a lot less and enjoy your life a lot more, and that's gotta be better for your stress levels in the long run!
Release Date: 1990
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 117 mins
A smart, sexy, tough-love tale about a woman that is transformed from a violent street hood into a ruthless assassin. In a modern adaption of Pygmalion, director Luc Besson creates a symphony of violence and romance with this French language film that perfectly portrays a bitter-sweet transformation process.
Streetwise Nikita (Anne Parillaud) finds herself in jail after shooting a police officer. She is given the chance to escape execution if she agrees to be trained as a covert government assassin, a role that will change her as a person and also as a woman. Her moral compass becomes tested when she falls in love; which unleashes a softer side of herself, and compromises her ability to deliver on her job.
There is a great sense of female empowerment and self discovery in this film which I thoroughly enjoyed. I really love that Luc Besson often has transcending heroines in his movies, it is always refreshing to see directors that are willing to take on less conventional story lines, because they are so valuable and yet so under-developed.
Anne Parillaud is a sexy power-house as Nikita, playing her role with great conviction both physically and emotionally, and really giving this film it's undeniably strong heartbeat.
FINAL SAY: There are two things that are infinite: femininity and the means to take advantage of it.
4 Chilli Peppers