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SPICYWATCH

Stupid Tough Love

13/4/2016

2 Comments

 
Went to Geelong on the holidays to stay with Zoe and Lachlainn for a couple of days. Staying over at your kid's place is one of the weirdest things that you will ever do as a parent. For me it was made even weirder by the shattering and somewhat compounding reality that Zoe has left our home for good now, that she is certainly not a 'kid' in any way, shape or form anymore and that she doesn't need me as much as she used to. Ouch....it hurts. 
There is no doubt that she will always be my baby, but after observing her in an environment that she has eked out and shaped for herself, I was ever so slightly unnerved. It is difficult to know whether to puff out your chest that you have done such an awesome job of parenting that your child can claim their independence easily, or whether to feel utterly miserable that they can manage so well without you.
To be honest, I'm still not 100% settled with her absence from our everyday lives. Sure we get together at least once a fortnight for a good catch up, but I know that those visits will get fewer and further apart as time goes by, because these things just happen. Also, not having my number one confident around to vent to all of the time does have its challenges. I am finding that the most hideously selfish parts of myself are the parts that are struggling the most to let go of her completely. 
On the positive side, I now have somewhere to go anytime that I want to escape, a place to go where I know that I will always be welcomed and a place to rest my head after long contemplative strolls along the beach, and that is a very good thing indeed; but it will never be a substitute for having her around everyday. 
I have never been good at letting the things that I love dearly in this world leave me, and I doubt that I will ever really get over my daughter leaving home, but at least I can glean some comfort in the knowledge that she is doing just fine without me, no matter how much that reality cuts me to the bone.
Curses on my 'independence/ tough-love' parenting techniques, what a fool I have been! If only I had made her utterly hopeless and scared of the world I would still have her right now! Ahhh yes, spoken like a true wicked witch, see I told you the selfish parts of me were going to ugly places. Oh well, never mind, I've blown it really, because it is far too late to put her in a tower and hide her away from the world now I suppose, but I'd be lying if I said that the thought hasn't crossed my mind. 
Picture
CRAZY, STUPID, LOVE
Release Date: 2011
Rating: M
Running Time: 118 mins 
Cal Weaver's (Steve Carell) life is thrown into turmoil when he finds out that his wife has been cheating on him and she wants to divorce him. Suddenly alone, and lonely - the hopeless forty-something attempts the dating scene without much luck, and then he meets Jacob Palmer (Ryan Gosling). Jacob is a handsome player, that is willing to teach Cal everything about the art of picking of women. 
I'm not sure if it was Carell's comedy or Gosling's 'photoshopped' good looks that won me over, but I really enjoyed this light hearted rom-com; and even though it is clearly covering some unpleasant ground in regards to infidelity and ladykillers, it never feels nasty or ugly. 
The cast is stellar, with fantastic support roles filled by Emma Stone, Julianne Moore, Kevin Bacon and Marisa Tomei, all of whom deliver well and make this an amusing, and at times, touching comedy about looking for love. 
FINAL SAY: I'm wildly unhappy, and I'm trying to buy it, and it's not working. 
3.5 Chili Peppers

2 Comments
Liv Elder
13/4/2016 20:42:55

💗💕

Reply
Zoe
13/4/2016 21:51:08

Aw Mum, missing you terribly also. I miss being together everyday, and I miss having somebody around all the time that just gets me so well. But I still find solace in our regular phone calls and catch ups, they are some of the things I look forward to the most! I love you very much xx

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