For a start, our mind actually really likes to default to destructive or damaging thoughts for one main reason and that's because it is easy. Often we are actually just going over very old thought pathways that we have established in our brains, and our mind likes to use these well worn pathways because they are easy to access. Try to think of your thoughts and mind processes like a road. When you drive your car, given the choice, you will always take it down the sealed road, the road that you know leads to somewhere. You don't just divert across a field and hope for the best, it could be dangerous, you could ruin your car or you could end up anywhere!
Our brains like that same level of reliability as well, and it will divert your thoughts down pathways that have already been established in your mind because it believes that they are safe. You've had those thoughts before and you've been fine, so it is perfectly fine and sensible to keep using that pathway. Unfortunately, our minds don't always realises that the pathways that they are driving your thoughts down are sometimes very destructive, negative and not at all steering you in the right direction. And in order to change this, yep you guessed it, you have to be willing to drive off course and create a new pathway; and for most of us that is scary and also pretty damn difficult to do.
On the bright side, it's never too late to retrain your brain and create new pathways of thought within both your subconscious and conscious thinking. Firstly, you have to really start to pay attention to what you are allowing your mind to perceive as the truth about who you are and what you really want out of life. You have to get really adept at identifying when you are lying to yourself and this means getting honest. It may mean that you will need to deal with an old hurt or let go of a certain belief that you have had about who you are that just isn't true. At this point it should be noted that if your mind is telling you that you are a failure on any level, then you will be a failure because whatever you allow yourself to think and believe and about who you are, actually becomes your reality.
The old 'fake it until you make it' method does actually hold quite a bit of water. Studies have shown that when people focus on their abundance and success rather than their deficits, then they generally do experience more abundance, success and positivity. So if you can create new pathways in your mind that support and nurture your self image exactly as you would like to be, then you are far more likely to achieve the success of actually becoming that ideal. Your mind is always either setting you up to fail or succeed, and it all comes down to the way that you perceive your reality.
So what's the secret? How do you make this happen? Well, from everything that I have researched on the topic, from scientists to new age gurus, the way to manage your mind in more positive ways is to create positive new roads for your thoughts to travel on and to make any old negative roads inaccessible. Through observation, patience, self kindness, meditation and open mindset practises, you can literally reprogram your thoughts and find more peace, harmony and motivation in your life. However, it's not just like a click of your fingers or reaching over to flick off a light switch, and most reprograming therapy takes around a year to master.
However, once you come to understand that the lies that we tell ourselves are actually our greatest source of suffering, then a year of work to create healthier, better and more wholesome thoughts about yourself doesn't really seem like that much effort, especially when you are gifting yourself with something as good as self positivity, self assurance and success. Ask yourself today, how do I perceive myself? Does it align with how I want to be perceived? Are your thoughts about yourself self-limiting or empowering?
We get the behaviour that we accept, and our minds are no different. Our mind will happily play out unnecessary, unpleasant, outdated or even destructive thoughts about us if we let it. So I suppose what I am saying to you is that if like me you are not happy with what your mind is sometimes saying to you about yourself, than perhaps you need to start working to create new roads in your thought patterns. Maybe it's finally time to change your mind once and for all about who you are and what you want. No-one will or can do this for you, you must do it for yourself.
If you are serious about change then I suggest that you start by reading some articles online about brain and mind retraining and abundant thinking. There are a number of free programs that you can undertake to assist you in getting started and there are also a lot of free thought retraining exercises on YouTube that will stimulate your ability to create new pathways and unlock more positive thought processes about yourself. I will warn you that it's a bit of a rabbit hole with a mixture of approaches from professionals, scientists, holistic teachers and religious leaders on the subject, but the basic message is pretty much always the same - Stop believing the lies that you tell yourself about who you are and start believing in your own ability and abundance. And that's really about as simple as it is.
Release Date: 2013
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 104 mins
A deeply satisfying coming of age drama/comedy written and directed by Nat Faxon and Jim Rash in their directorial debuts. With a fabulous cast of Hollywood heavy weights and a sharp, heartfelt script The Way, Way Back is a definite pleaser with its great mix of self discovery, relatable teenage curiosity and a kick arse soundtrack.
Fourteen year old Duncan is not looking forward to spending his summer vacation at a beach house in Massachusetts with his mum, her douche-bag boyfriend and his stuck up daughter Steph. However, an attractive teenage neighbour called Susanna and a summer job at the local water park provide Duncan with not only suitable distractions but also a lot of new experiences and insight.
The interactions in this film felt really genuine and believable to me. In particular I really loved the character Owen, played perfectly by Sam Rockwell and I was really pleased with the wholesome bromance that developed over the summer between he and Duncan.
Notable performances from Toni Collette, Steve Carell, Maya Rudolph and Allison Janney also help greatly to sweeten the deal.
FINAL SAY: I'm sorry. I'm developmentally challenged. Like bad.
3.5 Chilli Peppers