It has been at least 5 years since I have willingly attended an Annual Agricultural Show in Ballarat, but this year I braved the crowds, the dub-step music, the smells of fairy floss and hot-dogs and ventured out for 'a day at the fair' with Seth.
With a glorious 27 degree day to enjoy, the whiff of cow manure in the air and every walk of life gathered together in one place, Seth and I managed to fill in almost four hours of our public holiday freedom and spend all of our hard earned cash without much effort at all.
One thing that I do know for sure is that the show rides are either getting way more extreme or I am just turning into a major sooky-lala in my old age. Most of the rides looked like glorified death traps to me and cost a neat $10-$15 a go - a go that lasts around 4 minutes in torturous duration. I wasn't keen at all, but Seth is such a thrill seeker that I just couldn't keep him off them. The louder the music (bangers only from what I could gather) and the more death defying, the better as far as he was concerned.
I spent most of my time on the ground trying not to notice the rusty bolts, weathered exteriors and dodgy looking hinges on most of the contraptions, with my heart rate escalating and my pulse quickening more and more with every ride that he ventured on to. By the time I had lured him to the safety of the petting zoo my nails were chewed down to the stubs and I was substantially poorer than I was the hour before.
After perusing the winning local paintings, fairy cakes, sausage rolls and patchwork quilts in the arts and crafts section, we headed over to the show-bag stand to see what was on offer these days. Not much under $28 dollars I'm afraid to say, and they are still filling them all with inedible shitty lollies and plastic token crap. In spite of that fact, the humble show-bag still manages to attract kids in droves. It appears that you can pretty much put any random bunch of shit into a brightly coloured plastic bag and give it a jazzy name like "pirate loot-bag" and kids will go absolutely bonkers for it.
Fortunately for me, Seth is no longer drawn to those types of bags anymore, he is looking for just one coveted item to take away with him from these novelty stands now, this year that item was a latex horse-head mask. Smelling like the arse end of a reject melted mannequin, with a tuft of what could be Ron Weasley's shaved off pubes attached to the back of it, this mask has given Seth (and Craig) hours of delight as they have stumbled around in it (visibility is extremely low as well- just another "high quality" perk!) scaring each other and me at various times over the long weekend. Joy of joys, what a wonderful addition to our home that thing has been!
I shouldn't complain though, because Seth had a really great time, proving that fairs and shows are truly for the young at heart, and of course the thrill seekers. In all fairness, it was a totally fine event and even the 'carnies' have upped their game a bit these days. Unlike my last visit 5 years ago, they all had shoes on this time. One thing I did notice is that they are all serious advocates of body piercing - I haven't seen that many piercing in one face since I last perused the Guinness Book of Records, but I'm not being a hater about it, just an observation, they were all very friendly individuals; with loads of bling.
I believe that my need for agricultural and fair ground stimulation has yet again been sated. The next fair that Seth attends he can go to at night, with his friends, as all teenagers should. Those flashing lights, crazy rides, cheap stuffed toy prizes and sweaty pashes on the Ferris wheel are virtually a right of passage, and thankfully nothing that I need to be around for. My show days are over for a good long while now, unless something extreme happens that forces me back there.
With a glorious 27 degree day to enjoy, the whiff of cow manure in the air and every walk of life gathered together in one place, Seth and I managed to fill in almost four hours of our public holiday freedom and spend all of our hard earned cash without much effort at all.
One thing that I do know for sure is that the show rides are either getting way more extreme or I am just turning into a major sooky-lala in my old age. Most of the rides looked like glorified death traps to me and cost a neat $10-$15 a go - a go that lasts around 4 minutes in torturous duration. I wasn't keen at all, but Seth is such a thrill seeker that I just couldn't keep him off them. The louder the music (bangers only from what I could gather) and the more death defying, the better as far as he was concerned.
I spent most of my time on the ground trying not to notice the rusty bolts, weathered exteriors and dodgy looking hinges on most of the contraptions, with my heart rate escalating and my pulse quickening more and more with every ride that he ventured on to. By the time I had lured him to the safety of the petting zoo my nails were chewed down to the stubs and I was substantially poorer than I was the hour before.
After perusing the winning local paintings, fairy cakes, sausage rolls and patchwork quilts in the arts and crafts section, we headed over to the show-bag stand to see what was on offer these days. Not much under $28 dollars I'm afraid to say, and they are still filling them all with inedible shitty lollies and plastic token crap. In spite of that fact, the humble show-bag still manages to attract kids in droves. It appears that you can pretty much put any random bunch of shit into a brightly coloured plastic bag and give it a jazzy name like "pirate loot-bag" and kids will go absolutely bonkers for it.
Fortunately for me, Seth is no longer drawn to those types of bags anymore, he is looking for just one coveted item to take away with him from these novelty stands now, this year that item was a latex horse-head mask. Smelling like the arse end of a reject melted mannequin, with a tuft of what could be Ron Weasley's shaved off pubes attached to the back of it, this mask has given Seth (and Craig) hours of delight as they have stumbled around in it (visibility is extremely low as well- just another "high quality" perk!) scaring each other and me at various times over the long weekend. Joy of joys, what a wonderful addition to our home that thing has been!
I shouldn't complain though, because Seth had a really great time, proving that fairs and shows are truly for the young at heart, and of course the thrill seekers. In all fairness, it was a totally fine event and even the 'carnies' have upped their game a bit these days. Unlike my last visit 5 years ago, they all had shoes on this time. One thing I did notice is that they are all serious advocates of body piercing - I haven't seen that many piercing in one face since I last perused the Guinness Book of Records, but I'm not being a hater about it, just an observation, they were all very friendly individuals; with loads of bling.
I believe that my need for agricultural and fair ground stimulation has yet again been sated. The next fair that Seth attends he can go to at night, with his friends, as all teenagers should. Those flashing lights, crazy rides, cheap stuffed toy prizes and sweaty pashes on the Ferris wheel are virtually a right of passage, and thankfully nothing that I need to be around for. My show days are over for a good long while now, unless something extreme happens that forces me back there.
ZOMBIELAND
Release Date: 2009
Rating: R 18+
Running Time: 88 mins
Just when you thought there couldn't possibly be anything more to do with zombies, because it has been done to death (pardon the pun), along comes Zombieland, one of the funniest and most entertaining zombie horror- comedies to grace the screen since Shaun of the Dead.
When Colombus (Jesse Eisenberg) finds himself in the land of the dead, he creates his own set of 30 rules in order to survive. Teaming up with a Texan redneck called Tallahassee (Woody Harrelson) and two gun toting babes (Emma Stone and Abigail Breslin) they set out for an LA amusement park that is rumored to be 'zombie-free.' Along the way they encounter all manner of dead things including Bill Murray and a truck full of Twinkies, as they traverse the Southwest of The United States in an attempt to recover lost family and find sanctuary from the undead hordes.
A fresh and talented cast really bring a lot of colour and flair to their characters here, and this non-conventional road trip is a really fun romp through the world of the walking dead.
FINAL SAY: Double Tap!
4 Chili Peppers
Release Date: 2009
Rating: R 18+
Running Time: 88 mins
Just when you thought there couldn't possibly be anything more to do with zombies, because it has been done to death (pardon the pun), along comes Zombieland, one of the funniest and most entertaining zombie horror- comedies to grace the screen since Shaun of the Dead.
When Colombus (Jesse Eisenberg) finds himself in the land of the dead, he creates his own set of 30 rules in order to survive. Teaming up with a Texan redneck called Tallahassee (Woody Harrelson) and two gun toting babes (Emma Stone and Abigail Breslin) they set out for an LA amusement park that is rumored to be 'zombie-free.' Along the way they encounter all manner of dead things including Bill Murray and a truck full of Twinkies, as they traverse the Southwest of The United States in an attempt to recover lost family and find sanctuary from the undead hordes.
A fresh and talented cast really bring a lot of colour and flair to their characters here, and this non-conventional road trip is a really fun romp through the world of the walking dead.
FINAL SAY: Double Tap!
4 Chili Peppers
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