Woohoo the school holidays have started!
In my line of business that translates to happy happy days! I love my work, I feel a great deal of care for it and satisfaction from it; but do I need the holiday break every quarter? There are just no words to explain just how much really, and I am only an LSO - I can only imagine how teachers feel.
I always find people that hate on school staff getting holidays so amusing. This is because they are often the same people that dread their own children's holidays, proudly exclaiming their relief when their children return to school after a two week respite. So, they are sick of their own kids after two weeks, but we should be able to put up with 300 odd kids social and emotional needs on a daily basis for weeks and weeks on end without needing a break from it? People please! There is only so much a person can give before they start to become exhausted assholes themselves, these breaks are essential to the well being of everyone involved - trust me!
Anyway, with things winding down and late nights no longer a real issue, I have been watching a lot more movies. Some of it great, and some of it has been that shit that I'm surprised I haven't gouged my own eyes out of my head to make it end. Luckily, my tolerance for the abysmal is fairly high, but I feel that is only fair to forewarn you all about the following Hall of Shame viewings:
In my line of business that translates to happy happy days! I love my work, I feel a great deal of care for it and satisfaction from it; but do I need the holiday break every quarter? There are just no words to explain just how much really, and I am only an LSO - I can only imagine how teachers feel.
I always find people that hate on school staff getting holidays so amusing. This is because they are often the same people that dread their own children's holidays, proudly exclaiming their relief when their children return to school after a two week respite. So, they are sick of their own kids after two weeks, but we should be able to put up with 300 odd kids social and emotional needs on a daily basis for weeks and weeks on end without needing a break from it? People please! There is only so much a person can give before they start to become exhausted assholes themselves, these breaks are essential to the well being of everyone involved - trust me!
Anyway, with things winding down and late nights no longer a real issue, I have been watching a lot more movies. Some of it great, and some of it has been that shit that I'm surprised I haven't gouged my own eyes out of my head to make it end. Luckily, my tolerance for the abysmal is fairly high, but I feel that is only fair to forewarn you all about the following Hall of Shame viewings:
SLITHER
Release Date: 2006
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 95 mins
Okay this was just awful, almost to the point of amusing - ALMOST! A small town is taken over by an alien plague of mutant slugs, I am not even joking - that really is the story line. Even Nathan Fillion's delivery of great one liners wasn't enough to keep this from sinking fast. It earns a pepper for not taking itself seriously - thank god.
FINAL SAY: Watch it pissed or not all
1 Chili Pepper
Release Date: 2006
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 95 mins
Okay this was just awful, almost to the point of amusing - ALMOST! A small town is taken over by an alien plague of mutant slugs, I am not even joking - that really is the story line. Even Nathan Fillion's delivery of great one liners wasn't enough to keep this from sinking fast. It earns a pepper for not taking itself seriously - thank god.
FINAL SAY: Watch it pissed or not all
1 Chili Pepper
THE MORTAL INSTRUMENTS: CITY OF BONES
Release Date: 2013
Rating: M
Running Time: 130 mins (way too fucking long)
AGONY! Avoid at all costs, I fell asleep twice and it was still going! A girl the size of an acorn (Lily Collins) learns that she has descended from a long line of demon slayers and joins forces with all manner of young hotness to slay them. CGI heavy is an understatement, this had more effects than a ride at Movieworld - BLAHHHHHHHH - nausea!
FINAL SAY: Kill me now!
0 Chili Peppers
Release Date: 2013
Rating: M
Running Time: 130 mins (way too fucking long)
AGONY! Avoid at all costs, I fell asleep twice and it was still going! A girl the size of an acorn (Lily Collins) learns that she has descended from a long line of demon slayers and joins forces with all manner of young hotness to slay them. CGI heavy is an understatement, this had more effects than a ride at Movieworld - BLAHHHHHHHH - nausea!
FINAL SAY: Kill me now!
0 Chili Peppers
SCARY MOVIE 5
Release Date: 2013
Rating: M
Running Time: 86 mins (I made it to 7 mins)
WOW, there are people starving in the world and this type of shit is still being made? Who is watching this tripe? I can't tell you much since I barely saw any of it, but a few minutes was all it took for me to realise that this movie was the equivalent of a tapeworm to the entire movie industry.
FINAL SAY: Vile
0 Chili Peppers
Release Date: 2013
Rating: M
Running Time: 86 mins (I made it to 7 mins)
WOW, there are people starving in the world and this type of shit is still being made? Who is watching this tripe? I can't tell you much since I barely saw any of it, but a few minutes was all it took for me to realise that this movie was the equivalent of a tapeworm to the entire movie industry.
FINAL SAY: Vile
0 Chili Peppers
Let me redeem myself here, by pointing out that I have watched some really good movies lately too. A couple were reviewed straight into their categories, but the best of the week has to have been Jindabyne.
JINDABYNE
Release Date: 2006
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 123 mins
An emotionally charged crime/drama to get you thinking and shedding a tear. Based on the short story "So Much Water So Close to Home" by Raymond Carver and filmed in the small Australian town of Jindabyne, this is a haunting and deeply disturbing tale.
Stewart (Gabriel Byrne) and his friends head out for a weekend of fishing and drinking in an isolated part of the country. Their lives are changed forever when they find the body of a young murdered girl in the river.
Laura Linney is stellar as Claire, the wife of Stewart; and the relationships in this movie are incredibly real. Conversations are so convincing, emotions are so raw and feelings are fully explored, so much so that you will also become involved, be warned - this is really touching stuff, I did have a cry.
The local indigenous culture is portrayed with respect and dignity, and the Aussie landscape is hauntingly baron and beautiful all at once.
FINAL SAY: This river runs deep
4 Chili Peppers
Release Date: 2006
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 123 mins
An emotionally charged crime/drama to get you thinking and shedding a tear. Based on the short story "So Much Water So Close to Home" by Raymond Carver and filmed in the small Australian town of Jindabyne, this is a haunting and deeply disturbing tale.
Stewart (Gabriel Byrne) and his friends head out for a weekend of fishing and drinking in an isolated part of the country. Their lives are changed forever when they find the body of a young murdered girl in the river.
Laura Linney is stellar as Claire, the wife of Stewart; and the relationships in this movie are incredibly real. Conversations are so convincing, emotions are so raw and feelings are fully explored, so much so that you will also become involved, be warned - this is really touching stuff, I did have a cry.
The local indigenous culture is portrayed with respect and dignity, and the Aussie landscape is hauntingly baron and beautiful all at once.
FINAL SAY: This river runs deep
4 Chili Peppers
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