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SPICYWATCH

The Shark Stops Swimming

8/6/2016

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I have made it through my first month without cigarettes - go me! I cannot deny that I have had some pretty tough days along the way, and I am still clinging to the nicotine patches like a life preserver, but at least I am down to the weakest dosage now, so another few weeks on those babies and I should be ready to take on the world without a nicotine crutch. 
I certainly don't need to take on any more projects to occupy my time that's for sure. I have a half knitted scarf to finish, a cut out kimono to sew, a half painted canvas on my easel and on top of that I have this blog, a stock pile of about eight months of solid movie/ TV series watching ready to go, two half read books on my bedside table, and my daily art journal to keep me busy. So yeah, as I said, I am really not lacking in leisurely things to do. The upside of this is that the Winter school holidays start in three weeks time, and it will be the prefect time to hibernate and complete some of these projects. 
Usually I set myself goals every year, but last year I just went nuts with setting goals and set the bar crazy high for myself and only managed to get half of everything done that I wanted to do. So I decided to chill out on the goal setting this year and just let things happen on their own, live in the moment and go with the flow.
Well the flow has actually lead me to get quite a bit done, probably giving up smoking being the best of those things. But it has also allowed me some breathing time to re-invest in all of the hobbies and skills that I had previously set as goals for myself. I have had time to knit and sew again, time to paint and draw, time to strum the guitar and dig around in the vegetable garden, time to sip a cuppa and read a good book.
It has been extremely good for me to take a breather from the high achievement goals that I usually set for myself. It has made me realise that I actually have a shitload of great skills at my disposal, but I have been too much like a shark - constantly on the move - to really appreciate them. For the very first time in my life, I have come to understand that I don't have to be any more than I am right now. I don't need to do more or be more because I am already doing heaps. I don't need to set myself any time frames or a deadlines, because I can work at any pace I want to, if and when I want to.
​I do realise that most of the world has already come to that conclusion, but honestly, I just never really felt like I was enough unless I was doing an extraordinary amount of things. I always believed that putting more pressure on myself to take on new things was making me a better person. I thought that it was making me more interesting and making me more fulfilled, but I think that after last years debacle, I realise that I was actually exhausting and overwhelming myself.
There is goal setting and there is insanity, I went down the wacko road and pushed myself way too hard. I started to complete tasks joylessly and relentlessly, sacrificing my happiness and sanity in order to be able to say - I did that or I can do that now! 
Fuck it, I don't need to do that to myself anymore. I have more than enough facets to my personalty and skill set right now, and I'm absolutely not ready to take on anymore. That should be my mantra for a while I reckon - I'm not ready to take on anymore right now. I'm just going to enjoy what I've already got and accept myself as I am.
​Looks like I'm already exorcising some of those old demons, which turned out to be negative thoughts about my own worth and ability. Ah yes, this lull is certainly proving to be most cathartic for me indeed. 
Picture
EAGLE VS SHARK 
Release Date: 2007
Rating: M
Running Time: 88 mins
Written and directed by Taika Waititi, this New Zealand romantic comedy will appeal to people that like cringe worthy humour and awkward encounters. 
Wallflower Lily has an unlikely crush on a loser called Jerrod. After an encounter at a fancy dress/ video game party, they spark a rather unusual relationship and Jerrod invites Lily to join him on a trip to his seacoast home town. Whilst there, Jerrod plans to exact revenge upon a local bully that was his high school nemesis. However, a series of strange and awkward events leave Jerrod exposed for who he really is and leaves Lily questioning her feelings for him. 
I absolutely adored Loren Taylor's portrayal of the shy and incredibly kind character Lily, she is the stand out here for sure. Jemaine Clement is also great as the self involved jerk Jerrod, and the two together are pure gold. 
Eagle vs Shark certainly falls left of centre, but I really enjoyed it's quirkiness and had a lot of laughs along the way.
FINAL SAY: If I stop creating, I'll just die. 
4 Chili Peppers

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