When we set about changing ourselves or 'fixing' ourselves as many people like to term it these days, we set out to transform ourselves and ultimately (in the best setting) we set out to heal ourselves. You see, we would not need to change or fix ourselves if we had not experienced something that damaged us, deformed us or broke us in the first place. So in order to change or fix the things that we don't like or want in our lives any longer, we have to go through the processes of healing ourself, and that comes in stages.
As with all significant change or new-ness we resist, even if it is good for us, we still resist because we are ding dongs that like to hold onto predictability and perceived safety. So it is hardly surprising to see that the first stage of healing is denial.
DENIAL:
Denial is our greatest barrier to healing ourselves. It is generally the longest leg of the healing journey because we resist it so much. Recovery cannot begin until unveiling and acceptance happen first.
SHOCK:
Once you stop denying your need to heal you may experience some unpleasant feelings like: numbness, anger, pain, rage, guilt, vulnerability or shame. Don't fight these feelings, they are part of the healing journey and need to be dealt with.
RECOGNITION:
Recognition and acceptance are the greatest liberators. Now that you are aware, the once stagnant waters can begin to flow again. You will start to clear out the old to make way for the new. Work through your feelings and reactions with an open heart.
ACCEPTANCE:
Healing is a journey that ebbs and flows like the ocean. One moment you're all over it and the next you're no where close to where you want to be. This up and down is very normal and you need to be gentle with yourself here; good days and bad days are part of healing.
RELEASE:
Recognise that while you may not be where you want to be, you can release the idea that you have to anything but here and now.
REFLECT:
Make space to witness your progress from a third person perspective. Take a step back and survey the story that you are now experiencing. Breathe deeply and reflect on how far you have already come.
EMPTINESS:
Take time to mourn the old version of yourself that isn't serving you any longer. See how you are growing and changing and developing better ways to be. This is also a time when we may feel the need to release certain people that are associated with our old selves from our lives. This is because they no longer fit into your new lifestyle choices. This shedding can be difficult and leave us feeling spiritually or emotionally naked.
INTEGRATION:
Integrating new strategies that will stick is difficult. It takes time and repetition to replace old habits with new and better ones. This process can be challenging but it is also deeply rewarding and important work. Don't give up, keep going!
TRANSFORMATION:
You are now making constant changes that you feel are most appropriate for your journey. You are in control of your own destiny, you are not the person that you were and you have healed yourself. Congratulate yourself and celebrate your transformation.
It is really important to remember that healing and change, in any guise, takes time and commitment. It is often slow and challenging and it can be trying and traumatic. If you cannot do it alone, seek professional assistance or personal guidance from a trusted friend or companion. The road to healing is fraught with danger and difficulty, be aware that every set back is part of a process and every attempt to heal yourself is a worthy undertaking. Be kind to yourself, be patient and be willing to fail, succeed and find a better you in the process.
As with all significant change or new-ness we resist, even if it is good for us, we still resist because we are ding dongs that like to hold onto predictability and perceived safety. So it is hardly surprising to see that the first stage of healing is denial.
DENIAL:
Denial is our greatest barrier to healing ourselves. It is generally the longest leg of the healing journey because we resist it so much. Recovery cannot begin until unveiling and acceptance happen first.
SHOCK:
Once you stop denying your need to heal you may experience some unpleasant feelings like: numbness, anger, pain, rage, guilt, vulnerability or shame. Don't fight these feelings, they are part of the healing journey and need to be dealt with.
RECOGNITION:
Recognition and acceptance are the greatest liberators. Now that you are aware, the once stagnant waters can begin to flow again. You will start to clear out the old to make way for the new. Work through your feelings and reactions with an open heart.
ACCEPTANCE:
Healing is a journey that ebbs and flows like the ocean. One moment you're all over it and the next you're no where close to where you want to be. This up and down is very normal and you need to be gentle with yourself here; good days and bad days are part of healing.
RELEASE:
Recognise that while you may not be where you want to be, you can release the idea that you have to anything but here and now.
REFLECT:
Make space to witness your progress from a third person perspective. Take a step back and survey the story that you are now experiencing. Breathe deeply and reflect on how far you have already come.
EMPTINESS:
Take time to mourn the old version of yourself that isn't serving you any longer. See how you are growing and changing and developing better ways to be. This is also a time when we may feel the need to release certain people that are associated with our old selves from our lives. This is because they no longer fit into your new lifestyle choices. This shedding can be difficult and leave us feeling spiritually or emotionally naked.
INTEGRATION:
Integrating new strategies that will stick is difficult. It takes time and repetition to replace old habits with new and better ones. This process can be challenging but it is also deeply rewarding and important work. Don't give up, keep going!
TRANSFORMATION:
You are now making constant changes that you feel are most appropriate for your journey. You are in control of your own destiny, you are not the person that you were and you have healed yourself. Congratulate yourself and celebrate your transformation.
It is really important to remember that healing and change, in any guise, takes time and commitment. It is often slow and challenging and it can be trying and traumatic. If you cannot do it alone, seek professional assistance or personal guidance from a trusted friend or companion. The road to healing is fraught with danger and difficulty, be aware that every set back is part of a process and every attempt to heal yourself is a worthy undertaking. Be kind to yourself, be patient and be willing to fail, succeed and find a better you in the process.
FLEE
Release Date: 2021
Rating: M
Running Time: 90 mins
A Danish adult-animation documentary film directed by Jonas Poher Rasmussen that received unanimous acclaim from film festivals and critics alike for its excellent animation, story, thematic content, subject matter and LGBT representation. And there is certainly no denying that Flee is deeply and profoundly affecting from start to end.
A man under the alias of Amin Nawabi recounts the trauma and terror of his hidden past which included fleeing from his home country of Afghanistan to Denmark.
Through gripping, candid and distressing storytelling, we come to view a plight that is practically incomprehensible to most westerners. Flee is essentially a survival story about one man trying to make sense of his shattered past and traumatic experiences in order to embrace the man that he is today.
I saw the English language dubbed version which has Riz Ahmed and Nikolai Coster- Waldau performing as the narrators, and I would definitely recommend this version to English speaking viewers. The film also contains archival film footage of actual events in Afghanistan around the time that Amin fled, and this really adds to the overall impact of this powerful and unforgettable film.
It's definitely not a pleasant story but it is certainly one that needs to be heard by everyone.
FINAL SAY: We have no idea what's going to happen to us.
4 Chilli Peppers
Release Date: 2021
Rating: M
Running Time: 90 mins
A Danish adult-animation documentary film directed by Jonas Poher Rasmussen that received unanimous acclaim from film festivals and critics alike for its excellent animation, story, thematic content, subject matter and LGBT representation. And there is certainly no denying that Flee is deeply and profoundly affecting from start to end.
A man under the alias of Amin Nawabi recounts the trauma and terror of his hidden past which included fleeing from his home country of Afghanistan to Denmark.
Through gripping, candid and distressing storytelling, we come to view a plight that is practically incomprehensible to most westerners. Flee is essentially a survival story about one man trying to make sense of his shattered past and traumatic experiences in order to embrace the man that he is today.
I saw the English language dubbed version which has Riz Ahmed and Nikolai Coster- Waldau performing as the narrators, and I would definitely recommend this version to English speaking viewers. The film also contains archival film footage of actual events in Afghanistan around the time that Amin fled, and this really adds to the overall impact of this powerful and unforgettable film.
It's definitely not a pleasant story but it is certainly one that needs to be heard by everyone.
FINAL SAY: We have no idea what's going to happen to us.
4 Chilli Peppers
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