• Home
  • Chilli Pepper Scale
  • The Early Research
  • Hall of Fame
    • The List
  • Genres
    • Drama
    • Horror, Thriller, Supernatural
    • Comedy
    • Action, Crime, War
    • Science Fiction, Super, Fantasy
    • Art House, Musical, International
    • Gritty, Challenging, Documentary
    • Romance, Matters of the Heart
    • Kid Friendly
  • Blog
SPICYWATCH

They Took My Insides Out!

7/6/2020

0 Comments

 
It has almost been ten days since my operation and I am just beginning to resurface from the anesthetic, drug and pain induced coma that I have been existing in ever since the doctor removed my uterus. And wow, I really have to say that having a hysterectomy has completely topped the charts on my 'shittiest life experiences yet' list. There is nothing more sobering, more painful or more difficult to adjust to than having one of your major organs removed from your body, and this entire experience has made me realise just how truly unwell I was for quite some time because the state of that revolting uterus was anything but healthy. 
​I have to be honest, the only other time that I have ever had to go to hospital for a major or life changing procedure was to deliver my children so it would be fair to say that I am certainly no veteran of the knife or the ways of the surgeon. And hopefully, this will be the last experience that I am going to need for a very long time (praying forever) because I really did not enjoy having the hysterectomy, waking up just after having the hysterectomy or the first ten days of weird crap that has followed the hysterectomy.
What actually happens to the space that is left behind after you have had an organ removed from your body? Well, I can tell you that it rapidly gets filled up by all of your other oozing organs that are just happy to have some breathing room back again and what that means is intense weirdness; crazy intense weirdness as your body tries to adjust to what is now that the new norm. And I know that my other organs would undoubtedly be celebrating the exit of my hideously enlarged uterus and its various attached components because the darn thing had gotten so large that it had literally fused itself onto my bladder, spreading out like a disgusting blob and taking over every crevice of my abdomen that it could seep into. It seriously reminded me of the movie The Blob when I heard about my uterus' unquenching penchant for bogarting my entire pelvic region. A gross gelatinous abnormality, living right there inside of me! How fucking disgusting is that? 
Anyway, that bitch is gone for good now and has taken with it every period that I was ever destined to have. Can I get an Amen? What I now have left behind are two ovaries, which may well be floating about in the space inside of me anywhere for all that I know about what actually happened to me, but the doctor assured me that they were healthy and that if I kept them I would have a healthier and more natural menopause. And apparently preserving my ovaries will also ensure that I still continue to produce estrogen, thus saving me from facial hair, a deeper voice and the possibility of ever growing a penis - just kidding I don't actually think that last one can actually happen, but who wants to take any chances at this stage right? I just got rid of my bloody uterus the last thing I want right now is a dick and balls! 
So yeah, all aboard the female hell express, next stop menopause! I mean come on, really? It just never actually ever stops for women does it? First the periods, then the childbearing, then the hysterectomy and now the menopause, and I'm not even 50 yet so this all feels rather premature to me. However, I must admit that for all of my hating on the actual procedure of the hysterectomy, I think that once my body stops being weird ass central that I will actually be glad that I have had it done. Not only did I get rid of The Blob, but I may even be able to have an abdomen that doesn't look like a swallowed a beach ball one day. That day is certainly not today though, because my post-op belly looks so disgusting that I can't even deal with the sight of it at the moment. It's black and blue and that gross yellow/ green that bruises develop as they heal and don't ask me how this is possible, but my abdomen also genuinely seems bloated, tight and yet also flabby at the same time - how is that even possible? Another hysterectomy mystery I suppose!
You know, I stupidly thought that nothing would ever feel as unsettlingly abnormal in my body as the feeling of being pregnant (which literally felt like I was incubating an face hugging Alien embryo inside of me) but pregnancy has nothing on the continuous shifting, lilting, reconfiguration and strange involuntary realignment of my innards right now. I'm actually half expecting to wake up with an ovary sticking out my cheek one morning. I can feel my insides moving about and jostling for rank in there and quite frankly it's straight up horrible. Sort of a mixture of nausea, gas, cramps, aches and a lot of asking myself 'what the hell was that?' and 'that's normal right?'
However, in true Spicywatch fashion, I have resigned myself to the fact that this too shall pass and that one day over the next few weeks I will eventually wake up and not feel like a very freaky laboratory experiment anymore, but more like myself again.
​These are my current meditation mantras, and call me crazy, they do seem to be helping me to remain optimistic and on track to a full recovery. Yep, I'm on my way to complete wellness and I'm not stopping until I get there:
  • Pain is part of growing.
  • Everything in life is temporary.
  • Worry and complaining changes nothing.
  • Your scars are your symbols of strength.
  • Every little struggle is a step forward. 
  • What's meant to be will eventually be.
  • The best thing you can do is keep going. 
Picture
ONWARD
Release Date: 2020

Rating: PG 
Running Time: 102 mins 
Disney and Pixar team up again to deliver a unique, urban, fantasy animation that will appeal to audiences of all ages. Directed by Dan Scanlon who also wrote the screenplay, and featuring strong voice performances from well known stars like Chris Pratt, Tom Holland, Octavia Spencer and Julia Louis- Dreyfus, Onward delivers all of the laughs and heartfelt sentiment that we have come to love and expect from great Pixar movies. 
In a world filled with mythical creatures and yet sadly devoid of all magic, two teenage elf brothers set out on a quest to find a magical artifact that will bring back their deceased father. With only a magical staff, some basic magic knowledge and a beat up Chevy van named Vanicorn, the brothers attempt to navigate their way through various tasks and trials that ultimately puts their own relationship with each other to the test. 
Due to the 2019/2020 Coronavirus Pandemic, Onward had an extremely short and limited release time in cinemas and was consequently only seen by many people on the small screen. However, this did not greatly diminish the effective of this touching and also amusing tale that in my opinion, seems destined to become an animation cult classic. 
FINAL SAY: Put it in O, for onward!
4 Chilli Peppers

0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    Author

    Hi, my name is Barb.
    I crave excellent, high quality viewing experiences. 
    ​Share in my addiction. 

    Picture

    Categories

    All
    Action
    Art House
    Comedy
    Disasters
    Drama
    Eating Out
    Fantasy
    Foreign
    Gatherings
    Gritty / Documentary
    Horror
    Kid Friendly
    Life
    Mum Stuff
    Romance
    Science Fiction
    TV
    War

    Archives

    January 2023
    December 2022
    November 2022
    October 2022
    September 2022
    August 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014

    RSS Feed

Proudly powered by Weebly
Photo used under Creative Commons from Crysco Photography